Exciting times! Thank you so much to my fellow mental health blogger Mandy Kloppers at Thoughts of Life and Love blog for hosting my blog on why I wrote Arabella and the Worry Cloud– to help children with anxiety. I know Shelley illustrated it for the same reason. I had so many worries as a child and young adult- I definitely had my own Worry Cloud!
When I was a little girl and well into my teen years and beyond, I had a lot of anxieties. As a self-confessed empath and worrier, I could feel when something was wrong. This led to separation anxiety with symptoms including nausea at school. Children who have anxiety need to feel safe, settled and above all, heard by parents/carers and the adults in their life at school.
I wrote my first children’s picture book, Arabella and the Worry Cloud, in 2019 and published it last year. It is based on me as a young 7-year-old girl who had a lot of anxiety. In the book, Arabella worries about her socks not fitting on her feet, losing her shoes in a muddy puddle, the rain soaking her and cold freezing her toes, the rainbow in the sky losing its colour, her cat Pickles getting lost, the plants in the garden dying, losing her homework, failing a test and being blown away by the wind. These worries are partly represented by a Worry Cloud that comes down to see her from the sky and threatens to rain on her with all her worries.
Eventually, Arabella realises that if she thinks jolly, happy, sunny thoughts in place of the worries, she can push the Worry Cloud away with the joyous light beams of positive thinking. Arabella unlocks happy memories with her family, visualising wonderful times with them and it gives her confidence to face the Worry Cloud head on, so it can go away and leave her in peace.
So many children will have their own version of the Worry Cloud.
(image: Shelley the Artist/ E Segall)
Read the full blog here about how my experiences informed me writing Arabella and how it can help you:
Struggling with perfectionism? Learn how CBT for perfectionism helps challenge self-criticism, set realistic goals, and break free from the pressure to be perfect.
If you ever feel paralyzed by the thought of making mistakes or constantly push yourself to impossible standards, you might benefit from CBT for Perfectionism. At NOSA CBT, we understand how perfectionism can lead to burnout, procrastination, and nonstop anxiety. In this blog, we will explore what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) provides practical ways to break out of the perfectionist trap.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is not just about wanting to do things well. It usually means aiming for flawless results and feeling that anything less than perfection is a failure. Many perfectionists believe their worth depends on never making mistakes. This can cause chronic stress and harsh self-criticism whenever the outcome is not 100 percent perfect.
Sometimes, perfectionistic habits come from fear of judgment or failure in front of others. This fear creates a cycle: always striving, never satisfied, and relying on achievement for self-esteem. Ironically, trying to be flawless can keep you from getting started on projects, since the fear of messing up becomes more overwhelming than the desire to make progress.
How Perfectionism Develops
Perfectionism can grow from many sources: family expectations, social pressures, or ways of coping you learned over time. You might have grown up in a home where you were praised only when you excelled, making you feel like mistakes were unacceptable. Or maybe you live in a culture where success is linked to being the best, reinforcing the idea that any slip-up equals total failure.
Often, perfectionists tie their self-worth directly to their accomplishments. Rather than seeing an outcome as separate from who they are, they treat any disappointment as a personal shortcoming. Once these ideas take hold, they shape your approach to work, relationships, and even leisure activities. Recognizing why perfectionism developed does not mean it vanishes overnight, but it can help you spot triggers that feed that anxiety about not being “good enough.”
(image: Brett Jordan: Unsplash)
How CBT for Perfectionism Works
CBT for Perfectionism focuses on finding and challenging the thoughts and beliefs that drive unhealthy perfectionism. Instead of telling you how to get perfect results, CBT helps you understand why imperfection feels so scary in the first place. Then, you can test whether those fears are truly accurate and replace them with more realistic, kinder ways of thinking.
Mapping Unhelpful Thoughts Early on, you might keep track of moments when you feel overwhelmed or anxious about not doing something “well enough.” This reveals the core thoughts fueling your stress, such as “If I don’t get every detail right, I’m a failure.”
Challenging Distorted Beliefs Next, CBT teaches you to question these beliefs. Is it realistic to think one mistake ruins everything? Are you really worthless if you miss a tiny detail? Finding evidence that contradicts these absolutes can weaken their hold.
Encouraging Realistic Standards CBT does not say you have to lower your standards across the board. Instead, it prompts you to set challenging but achievable goals. This shift allows you to celebrate progress rather than obsessing over small flaws.
Self-Compassion One of the most important parts of CBT is learning to be gentle with yourself when things do not go perfectly. Instead of harsh self-criticism, you practice talking to yourself in a supportive, encouraging way. This approach boosts resilience and motivation, even when you stumble.
By repeating these steps and noticing changes in your thoughts and behaviors, you can develop a healthier mindset that balances striving for excellence with recognizing that mistakes are a normal part of growth.
Key CBT Techniques for Perfectionism
Several CBT techniques help reduce the pressure to be perfect:
Thought Records
Write down situations that trigger perfectionistic stress, along with the thoughts and emotions they spark. Then, look for evidence that challenges these extreme conclusions. Over time, seeing flaws in your perfectionistic thinking can loosen its grip.
Behavioural Experiments
Sometimes, you might intentionally aim for “good enough” rather than perfect results. Whether it’s a work project or a household task, see how it feels to let go of total precision. Often, you’ll realize minor imperfections rarely lead to disaster.
Graded Exposure
Gradually face your fear of imperfection. For example, leave a small mistake in a draft and show it to a friend or colleague, just to prove to yourself that a minor error doesn’t lead to rejection or failure.
Self-Compassion Exercises
Through affirmations or mindfulness, you learn to accept that everyone slips up sometimes. Treat mistakes as opportunities to learn, not signs of personal failure.
When practiced consistently, these strategies help you maintain high standards without feeling constantly overwhelmed by the need to be flawless.
Dealing with Setbacks and Ongoing Habits
Real change rarely happens in a straight line, especially if you’ve spent years developing perfectionistic habits. It’s normal to have setbacks when deadlines loom or when life throws unexpected challenges your way. If you catch yourself slipping back into rigid thinking, it doesn’t mean CBT “failed.” It just means it’s time to revisit the strategies and tools that helped you before.
Setbacks can even be helpful. Each time perfectionistic thoughts resurface, you have another opportunity to apply the CBT methods you’ve learned. Over time, these relapses often become less intense and less frequent because you have a more flexible framework for coping.
Who Can Benefit from this Therapy?
Anyone who struggles with all-or-nothing thinking can find CBT useful. High achievers sometimes get stuck in endless cycles of tweaking or revising because they feel nothing is ever “perfect.” Students may push themselves to the limit, convinced that a single slip in grades defines their future. Even in personal settings, the need to appear flawless can drain your energy and enjoyment of everyday life.
It’s also important to remember perfectionism isn’t limited to a certain personality type. You might feel confident in some areas yet be extremely hard on yourself in others. CBT meets you where you are. It offers practical tools for tackling unhelpful beliefs and separating your self-worth from your achievements.
Rounding Up
Ultimately, CBT for Perfectionismaims to loosen the grip of harsh self-standards and critical inner voices that overshadow day-to-day satisfaction. Striving for excellence can be motivating, but perfectionism can turn into a never-ending burden that undermines your confidence and well-being.
By challenging black-and-white thinking, trying out more balanced behaviours, and learning self-compassion, you can find a healthier mindset that values progress over flawlessness. If you’ve noticed perfectionistic habits affecting your life, consider exploring CBT techniques or reaching out for professional support to build a more flexible and resilient approach to reaching your goals.
The National Confidential Inquiry into Suicide and Safety in Mental Health (NCISH) released its Annual Report for 2025 last week, revealing that over the past decade, nearly 20% more individuals with bipolar disorder are dying by suicide due to shortcomings in the UK’s mental health system.
According to national charity Bipolar UK, the report provides stark evidence that specialist care is lacking, Lithium (an important mood stabiliser medication) is under-prescribed and suicide prevention measures are falling short.
The report highlights that from 2012 to 2022, there were 1,491 suicides by patients with bipolar, with an alarming 19% increase from 2019 to 2022. Despite Lithium being a clinically proven suicide prevention treatment for people with bipolar, only 39% of those who died were prescribed it and just 12% were receiving psychological therapy.
This data echoes the findings and lived experience of Professor Tania Gergel, Head of Research at Bipolar UK, in her recent article in The Lancet Psychiatry where she said: “Globally, 15-20% of people with bipolar disorder die by suicide, with 30-60% making at least one attempt. These rates are not decreasing despite an overall decline in global suicide rates.”
According to the Nuffield Trust, there is set to be a £4.8 billion unfunded shortfall in the NHS England revenue budget for 2024/25, raising the prospect that without further funding, service cuts may be inevitable.
With bipolar increasing an individual’s risk of suicide by 20 times that of the general population, Bipolar UK is urging the government to commit to addressing health waiting lists and to invest money in creating a dedicated care pathway for bipolar to reduce suicide rates.
Simon Kitchen, CEO of Bipolar UK, said: “This report is devastating but not surprising. We’ve been shouting from the rooftops that people with bipolar aren’t getting the care they need and now the data lays it bare.
“Bipolar carries one of the highest suicide risks of any mental illness, yet specialist services are practically non-existent, and Lithium – the gold-standard treatment for suicide prevention – is underused. The time for excuses is over. We need real action, and we need it now.”
The charity has heard from its community of people living with the condition, who are concerned that they are unable to access psychiatrists, have little to no continuity of care and are not being monitored adequately when at high risk. There is also a lack of bipolar specialists in the UK, leading to people not receiving a correct diagnosis or waiting too long to receive one – all of which add to the risk of suicide.
Professor Gergel said: “Neither bipolar disorder nor suicide in people with bipolar disorder are research priorities, resulting in major knowledge gaps in both. This can and must change. The shocking statistics might well underestimate the prevalence of suicide in people with bipolar disorder, given the probability of death by suicide before treatment or accurate diagnosis.”
Adding to that, Simon Kitchen said: “Suicide prevention in bipolar requires a shift in both research priorities and clinical practice. We know lithium saves lives, but it is still under-prescribed. We know specialist care works, but most services are generic and fail to meet the specific needs of people with bipolar. Bipolar suicide is not inevitable, but without urgent action, people will continue to die.”
(image of Prof Gergel, Bipolar UK)
The NCISH report also revealed broader systemic failures contributing to preventable deaths. Alarmingly, patients with bipolar were more likely to:
Die within three months of being discharged from inpatient care, highlighting dangerous gaps in post-discharge support.
Miss vital clinical appointments, often due to social isolation or side effects from medication, with 15% identified as non-adherent before their deaths.
Experience extreme distress without access to psychological therapies, with only 12% receiving talking therapies.
With more than a million people living with bipolar in the UK, the figures from this latest inquiry represent lives lost and has led Bipolar UK to call for urgent action, including implementing:
Specialist bipolar services in every NHS region to ensure timely diagnosis, access to evidence-based treatments and care tailored to the complexities of the condition.
Increased lithium prescribing, in line with NICE guidelines, ensuring every person with bipolar who could benefit from it is given the opportunity.
Enhanced suicide prevention measures, including better follow-up after hospital discharge and targeted support for those who miss appointments or struggle with medication adherence.
Simon Kitchen concluded: “We need all UK health authorities and departments of health across the nation to act now because lives depend on it. The evidence is undeniable, the solutions are clear, and the cost of inaction is catastrophic. Specialist care, Lithium, and targeted suicide prevention measures can and will save lives.
“Bipolar suicide is a national emergency, and the upcoming 10-Year Plan is the critical opportunity to turn the tide. Bipolar-specific services are not optional; they are a lifeline.
“The government and NHS must act now, before more lives are lost to preventable tragedy. It is time to get it right.”
Bipolar UK is the only national charity dedicated to supporting people affected by bipolar. Bipolar UK provides a range of services, including information and advice, a network of support groups, an eCommunity, workplace training and telephone and email peer support. Bipolar UK also works in partnership with research organisations and campaigns for change to tackle critical issues. For more information, visit www.bipolaruk.org
“Winter is the time to snuggle up in blankets and sip on hot cocoa.”
It is official, I am totally over Winter! I cannot wait until the days are longer, the cherry blossoms are on the trees, the sunshine is shining, the baby animals are around, the daffodils are nodding. Yes, Spring is much needed.
I find that the Winter season makes me want to hibernate and I definitely feel lower in this season. Some people like me may have seasonal affective disorder.
So despite the cold winter darkness, I know the days will lengthen soon (and then I will be saying its too hot when its summer!),
This is just a short post to remind myself to enjoy the rest of winter (and find a lovely Cotswolds cottage like the photo to go to!)
Being vegan means a person chooses not to use any animals products – whether that’s the food they eat, the clothes they wear, the products they use, even down to the entertainment they choose. This lifestyle choice is a philosophical stance and belief system that seeks to exclude all forms of exploitation and cruelty to animals.
I’ve been vegan for around 9 years now and speaking from experience as an empathetic and sensitive person, at times the world can feel a little overwhelming (understatement? Possibly). Don’t get me wrong, going vegan was the best decision for me. I am an animal lover at heart and deeply care about the environment, so being vegan enables me to live a life in harmony with my values. When I finally aligned my actions with my beliefs about animal welfare, I experienced a sense of relief and authenticity that had been missing before.
The problem is knowing the full extent of animal suffering at the hands of humans that really weighs heavy.
I remember the first time I truly connected with a cow. Looking into her gentle eyes, I saw an individual who was sentient and wanted to live, love, and be free from harm – just like any of us. That moment changed me forever. Now, walking past butcher shops or seeing leather goods in store windows can feel devastating, knowing a beautiful creature had their life needlessly taken for something we can source elsewhere with no suffering involved. These everyday encounters that are ordinary to most, serve as constant reminders of the disconnect between my values and society’s ‘normal’ practices.
This awareness has affected my relationships too. There was a time that social gatherings were tricky to navigate. Watching friends or family consume animal products while knowing what I know about factory farming creates an internal struggle: balancing my love for them with my ethical convictions. Sometimes it makes me so sad to know that, after all I have told them about animal suffering, they continue to choose to subject animals to it in the name of taste preferences.
However, this emotional challenge isn’t unique to vegans. Many people feel uncomfortable watching documentaries about animal agriculture or visiting slaughterhouses. This natural empathy exists in most of us, but marketing campaigns and industrialised food systems have created a psychological distance between our plates and the reality of animal suffering. The meat industry spends billions on advertising that presents happy animals on family farms, while the reality remains carefully hidden from public view.
The emotional challenges faced by vegans often stem from a place of deep compassion – a quality our world desperately needs more of, not less. Rather than viewing this sensitivity as a weakness, we can recognise it as a strength that drives positive change. Understanding that these feelings of distress come from a place of love and justice can help frame them in a more constructive light.
(image: Kerry McLaughlin Photography)
In my book, The Vegan Lifestyle Journal, I talk about the secrets to finding ways to channel our emotional sensitivity into positive action while maintaining our own wellbeing. This might mean setting boundaries, practicing self-care, celebrating small victories, and remembering that personal peace and advocacy for animals can coexist. After all, the goal isn’t to carry the weight of the world’s suffering, but to do our part in creating positive change while maintaining our own emotional balance.
For anyone feeling overwhelmed by awareness of animal suffering, remember that every person who chooses compassion contributes to a larger movement toward a more ethical world. While the journey may sometimes feel lonely or challenging, living in harmony with our deepest values ultimately contributes to better mental health and a more peaceful existence.
Sadie Jade is a Suffolk born author and public speaker who is passionate about making the world a better place for animals, people, and the environment.With almost a decade of experience in animal advocacy, Sadie is well known for delivering talks to thousands of people across the UK in schools and colleges, at community events and public speaking engagements such as podcasts and panel debates, and through the publication of her book and her guest articles for respected news outlets.
I am delighted to say that our children’s picture book ‘Arabella and the Worry Cloud‘ about a little girl with anxiety and how she manages her worries, is featured on Parents News UK website! Not only is it Children’s Mental Health Week but it is also Time to Talk day, where we share our stories about mental health.
Here’s a snippet of their thoughts:
‘Supporting children with anxiety, London-based author Eleanor Segall has drawn from her own childhood experiences to write Arabella and the Worry Cloud, a heartfelt picture book supporting children aged 5–8 who struggle with anxiety. Eleanor, who has lived with bipolar disorder since her diagnosis at age 16, aims to help young readers understand and manage their worries through relatable storytelling.
Arabella and the Worry Cloud introduces readers to Arabella, a seven-year-old girl who faces daily worries, from small tasks like putting on her socks to bigger fears about her cat or schoolwork. Her constant companion, the Worry Cloud, symbolises her anxious thoughts, teaching children that worries, like clouds, come and go.
Eleanor shares coping tools within the story, inspired by techniques that helped her manage her own anxiety. Through Arabella’s journey, children learn that even when caught in life’s “rainstorms,” the clouds will eventually clear.’
(image: E Segall/Shelley The Artist)
You can read the full article here. Thanks to all at Parents News UK!
Did you know 1 in 5 children face mental health challenges? Let’s make a difference together this #ChildrensMentalHealthWeek by taking part and donating to Place2be if you can.
The theme of this year’s week is ‘Know Yourself, Grow Yourself’, which is about encouraging children and young people across the UK to embrace self-awareness and explore what it means for them.
This year Place2be is partnering with Here4You, supported by the Walt Disney company and the Inside Out 2 characters to explore the theme.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression as a 15 year old, and had anxiety from a young age. I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 16 and in a CAMHS unit in hospital in 2004. We know these days that more children are struggling, which is why awareness weeks like this are so important.
Through my kids book, Arabella and the Worry Cloud, I try to help children with their own anxiety to help them process their feelings with a trusted adult.
beurownlight.com 