Month: September 2016

Starting over.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Its been about 2 weeks now since I left my new job in the primary school to work for my Dad as his PA in his new radio station company. I find it much easier to manage my anxiety when I can work freelance and independently at home and I find that I can take breaks when I need to- and work when I can, which is more helpful for my health currently

It is a shame because I was hoping to be a teacher, but I have to take time out to heal myself and get myself fully well. The work I am doing for my Dad is probably temporary but it currently suits us both and I am enjoying it. Other than that, I have been seeing my friends and trying to tackle each day with positivity.

This year has been a major journey of self discovery and I hope that I will be able to build a career in the field I choose and not get morning panic attacks as severely. Hence, why for the moment I am taking a break from teaching to heal my anxiety.

In terms of therapy, I am thinking about doing the Linden Method home learning program to help my panic. I certainly am feeling a lot better but still get anxious from time to time about social arrangements.

Heres to starting over- new beginnings.

Time to Change- ‘Having Bipolar is not Shameful’.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

This week, I achieved one of my dreams and goals to write a blog published by the anti discrimination charity ‘Time to Change’. They are a UK mental health charity partnered with Rethink and Mind, to tackle stigma against mental illness in the UK.

My blog was shared over 150 times and liked almost 500 times on Facebook, in the first day and a half. This is amazing. I have heard from people who are suicidal or struggling with bipolar and other mental health issues. I am so thankful to the charity for publishing it and giving me a platform to share my story.

You can read the blog here:

http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/blog/i-cannot-imagine-having-bipolar-without-support-networksarahtime

Pre Work Anxiety

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Last week, I started my new job in a primary school. I went in both days, didn’t feel too anxious, enjoyed meeting the children and their parents and chatted to my new colleagues. I did really well. However, I have a break of almost a week before I go in again and this exacerbates my anxiety symptoms as I start worrying about the next day.

I have written before about pre work anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes I am absolutely fine and just a little nervous. Yet other times, I dread the day and worry about seeing people or coping with the demands of the day. Then, I don’t go into work. I have a block and feel like I can’t move or do anything for that period of time. I just have to get the fear to go away and then I down tools, which obviously is not great from an employers perspective.

However, I can’t do this any more. I have discovered a new app that has calming exercises and I must find a therapy option that works for me.

From googling this, I can see that other people suffer from this too. To quote a fellow sufferer on the hilariously named crazyboards.org,

‘ I go through this foolishness every day.

An hour before i leave for work i am DREADING leaving my house and imagining all sorts of horrible things happening at my job. the sense of anxiety is so huge, i mean need to medicate it huge. i cannot stay still to enjoy a morning coffee. i’m too nervous.’

I don’t use anxiety medication- however I do need to find ways to feel the fear and do it anyway. In truth because nothing is scarier than what is in my mind.

In the words of my favourite singer Jessie J- ‘Its OK not to be OK’