Happy Chanukah to everyone celebrating around the world. Thinking of all those who died in the terror attack at Bondi and in the USA. Praying for the injured and for healing. My heart is broken but we will not let them succeed!
As the Jewish granddaughter of a Holocaust refugee and great grandaughter of Eastern European Jews who fled persecution from the Russian pogroms and Nazi Germany, I am all too aware of hatred and antisemitism in the UK and worldwide.
May we all stand together proud as a Jewish community, supported by good people in the world and not the evil perpetuated against us. May this Chanukah bring light against darkness and evil, humanity over antisemitism. Our community is resilient but we shouldn’t have to feel fear during our festival of lights.
Love to our friends and readers globally, especially in Sydney, Australia and the USA. I am proud to be Jewish and our light is greater than their darkness.
Thinking especially of the victims and their families- men, women and children who did not come home that day. As their names start to be reported, may we always remember them and for the injured.
Every year, the incredible charity Christmas For CAMHS brightens up the lives of children and teens on NHS CAMHS mental health wards. These are for children who are too ill with their mental health (often distressed and traumatised) to be at home with their families, friends and loved ones. In 2004, when I was just 16 and going through a bipolar episode, at Christmas, I was in a mental health ward away from home (I am Jewish and don’t celebrate Christmas religiously but there is something about being given a gift, a card, activities when you are far from home that warms the soul). I know how scary it can be to live in hospital with other ill children and teenagers. So, I absolutely love the work of this important charity.
Christmas For CAMHS was founded by Dr Ro Bevan. While working as a doctor on a children’s ward in 2015, she saw first hand that, during the festive season, hospitals supporting children with physical illnesses were showered with huge amounts of gifts, festive treats and celebrations – as they should be! They even had enough to cover ward birthdays the following year! The following year she was working on a child and adolescent mental health ward. She was shocked by the contrast. So she posted about the inequality on Facebook – “We had no presents donated. Our patients had one present each using money scrimped and saved from the NHS budget.” Her plea went unexpectedly viral, inspiring an intrepid bunch of volunteers to come together with her to create our charity Christmas For CAMHS. We had to make sure that no child or young person on a UK mental health ward was ever forgotten at Christmas again.
Since then the charity has gone from strength to strength, providing some essential Christmas hope for almost 9875 children and young people. Last year, in 2024, the charity sent over 1100 individual gifts (with an additional fidget toy too) to these children and young people – that’s gifts to every young person in every CAMHS unit in the UK!
They also sent 52 special additional gifts for young people on the ward particularly in need, such as those with no parental support and young people in foster care – this included items such as oodies, comic books and specialist art equipment. But that wasn’t everything! As well as individual gifts and goodies, they sent wellbeing advent calendars, festive decorations and activity kits – great for distracting and boredom-busting – paper chains, homemade cards and ward gifts such as jigsaws, art kits, books and board games. Festive season in a box!
(Image: Christmas for CAMHS)
The charity say, ‘It’s never really about the gift itself. For these young people struggling with conditions such as anorexia, psychosis, bipolar disorder and depression, it’s about a glimmer of hope — the knowledge that someone out there cares for them, is thinking of them, and wants them to feel less alone at a very hard time of year to be poorly in hospital. This is why what we do is so important. These fragments of hope and glimmers of joy can, and do, change the course of lives.’
A recipient of the charity’s kindness who was in hospital years before, told them the following and reached out to the charity.
She said: “I was in a CAMHS inpatient unit over the Christmas period when I was 17. While friends were studying for A Levels and passing their driving tests, I was really struggling to keep myself safe and needed to focus on basics like brushing my teeth and eating regularly. Staying in an inpatient unit is a really tough experience for anyone, but Christmas is particularly hard when the pressure to be with family and enjoy the festive period is much higher.”
I wasn’t safe enough to go home overnight yet, so woke up in hospital on Christmas Day. I remember feeling really low that morning, but the unit had received a care package filled with presents which were given to all of us who were there over the Christmas period. I don’t remember what l picked out, or what the other presents were, but I remember feeling like the universe wasn’t such a bad place after all.”
It felt really special that even when I couldn’t care for myself, there were people who did care for me.I hold that memory close to this day and I’m so grateful to Christmas For CAMHS for helping me through a really difficult time.”
I can relate to this person, I was lucky enough that in 2004, we did receive a small gift and I did get some cards from people in hospital with me (I was struggling with bipolar and psychosis at this time but I still remember that lovely feeling of being thought about by the ward staff).
(image: Christmas For CAMHS)
Christmas For CAMHS is a charity extremely close to my heart. This year, they hope to reach their 10,000th child this Christmas. Times are really tough for charities and they need your help to be Father Christmas and his Elves in all of the CAMHS wards in the UK again this year. You can support Christmas for CAMHS by donating online or choosing a gift from their wish list:
For many people, Christmas time/festive season is a time for happiness, family and bringing people together; however,one in seven UK couples face a hidden grief : infertility..
Research reveals that nearly three in four people battling infertility are burdened with feelings of failure, adding to the hidden grief many already feel during the holidays. In response, mental health platform JAAQ wants to spread awareness around why infertility can be harder during the holidays and what we can do to approach the topic sensitively.
Male fertility coach explains why infertility feels heavier during the festive season
Male fertility coach, Shaun Greenway, who was diagnosed with azoospermia, explains on JAAQ why the holiday season is so difficult: “We got a pregnancy announcement at Christmas, and it took me right back to that place. That hurt. That weird feeling of happiness mixed in with jealousy and anger and pain.” Even after he had twins via donor sperm, the emotions didn’t disappear “It will always be part of me. It’s always there.”
Shaun’s experience highlights a truth many people face – that infertility doesn’t end with treatment or conception; it changes shape, often resurfacing during emotionally charged times like Christmas, a time filled with pregnancy announcements and marketing imagery filled with children and togetherness.
Founder and CEO of Fertility Help Hub, Eloise Edington, knows that pain well. Supporting her devastated husband while navigating her own grief, she recalls when speaking on JAAQ: “Supporting my devastated husband while also equally grieving myself and knowing that we would never have a biological child together meant we were both drowning in separate pain.”
She’s open about the reality of those moments: “Lots of crying, lots of eating chocolate, wine, being together. Not pretty. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just real.” For many couples facing infertility, this is the reality of Christmas – raw, difficult and far from the idealised celebrations we often imagine.
(image: Priscilla Prisceez, Unsplash)
4 dos and don’ts for talking about infertility this holiday season
To make the festive season a little easier, mental health platform JAAQ has revealed four essential dos and don’ts for talking about infertility this Christmas – whether you’re facing it yourself, or want to approach the topic sensitively with others.
Dos:
1. Think before you ask sensitive questions about pregnancy or starting a family and wait for them to bring it up themselves naturally in conversation.
2. Share with someone you trust – If you are struggling, consider speaking openly with someone, whether in person or by message, which can help you to process your emotions. For Shaun, he shared: “Once I did start opening up, that’s when everything got a bit lighter.” Elouise suggests, “Find community, find support, speak to other people who are going through similar struggles. How are they dealing with it? What are they doing to keep the romance alive or to get through this tricky time and enjoy life?”
3. Encourage without imposing your opinion. If someone shares something personal, listen fully before responding. Let them know you are there for them and ask how you can support them, rather than assuming what they need.
4. Create a Christmas/ festive routine that works for you. If traditional celebrations feel overwhelming, permit yourself to do things differently. You might skip the big dinner, start a new ritual like a quiet morning walk with coffee, or find other ways to mark the day that feel manageable.
Dont’s:
Don’t ask personal questions about pregnancy or family plans, especially in social settings
Don’t offer unsolicited advice like ‘just relax’ or ‘it’ll happen when it’s meant to’
Don’t probe with follow-up questions if someone opens up; listen supportively rather than asking questions that might cause unintentional distress
Don’t pressure someone to participate in every activity or ‘get into the spirit.’ Sometimes the kindest thing is simply allowing them to step away
(image: Pereanu Sebastian: Unsplash)
About JAAQ
JAAQ – which stands for Just Ask A Question is a pioneering mental health platform designed to make credible, compassionate support accessible to everyone – especially in the workplace. The platform provides engaging, clinically backed content by connecting users with experts and individuals with lived experience, who answer mental health questions anonymously. This unique, interactive approach empowers people to explore their mental wellbeing in a safe, stigma-free environment.
Thank you for supporting Be Ur Own Light blog and our mental health mission this year. We wish you all- from Rob and I, a wonderful festive season- whether you celebrate Christmas or Chanukah (like us), whether you get together with family and friends for magical, cosy nights, good TV and a glass of wine, I hope you enjoy it!
We will be spending time with family and friends, lighting our menorahs and eating doughnuts. This year we will be visiting my in laws, which should be lovely.
If you need help because you are struggling with your mental health, the Samaritans line is always open for free,non judgemental listening: 116 123 is the UK number.
Wishing you all a wonderful break, a cosy, happy, safe and peaceful one,
beurownlight.com 