Navigating Divorce Law While Caring for Your Mental Health by Brooke Chaplan

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Note: the author refers to USA divorce laws but the advice for mental health is the same.

Divorce is an extremely difficult process, emotionally and financially draining, and legally complex. Whether you are the one filing for divorce or the one who is served with divorce papers, this life-altering experience can take a toll on your mental health. With so many issues to consider – child custody, spousal support, property division, and more – navigating divorce law (USA) can be intimidating. But it’s important to prioritise your mental health during this challenging time. In this blog post, we will explore some ways to help you manage your mental health and navigate divorce law.

Focus on Self-Care

The first step to taking care of your mental health is to focus on self-care. Amidst all the chaos, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and seek help immediately if you feel overwhelmed. Make sure to carve out time for activities that you enjoy and engage in self-care rituals that make you feel good.

Seek Therapy

Divorce is a tough time, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help from a licensed therapist. A therapist can help you work through the complex emotions you’re feeling and provide you with coping mechanisms to manage your emotions proactively.

Find Emotional Support

Surround yourself with positive and supportive friends and family who will uplift and cheer you up. Find a support network of divorce recovery groups where you can share your experiences and get emotional support from people who understand what you’re going through. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and delegate tasks to relieve stress.

Stay Educated on Divorce Law (USA)

Divorce laws vary from state to state, so it’s important to stay educated about the laws that apply in your state. An understanding of the legal process can help you make better decisions and manage your legal battles more effectively. Consult with a qualified divorce attorney who can provide you with legal guidance and support.

Mediation

Consider mediation as a way to avoid going to court. It’s an opportunity to resolve your differences collaboratively and avoid contentious legal battles that can take a toll on your mental health. Mediation focuses on negotiating a settlement that works for both parties, and an experienced mediator can help you resolve issues like child custody, spousal support, property division, and more.

Going through a divorce is challenging, and it’s okay to ask for help.

Remember to take care of your mental health during this time by focusing on self-care, seeking therapy, finding emotional support, staying educated on divorce law, and considering mediation. You are not alone, and with the right support and guidance, you can successfully navigate the divorce process. Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals if you need help.

This article was written by Brooke Chaplan, who is based in the USA. For UK and other divorce laws, please see your own country.

How to reduce Stress and maintain Mental health during a Divorce: Guest blog by Luci Larkin at Woolley&Co

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Going through a divorce or relationship breakdown can be one of the most stressful situations a person can find themselves in. You lose your friend, partner, confidante and have to adapt to living as a single person, often as the primary carer of children. 

This is a time of extreme and mixed emotions made more complicated by the stresses and worries of legal and financial considerations as well as having to support and counsel any children that may be involved and suffering too.

With mental health problems on the rise and divorce being listed as one of the leading contributors, Luci Larkin from Family Law Solicitors, Woolley & Co, explains how you can reduce stress during such a turbulent time in your life.

“If you have decided your marriage is over you will most probably want to make the whole process of divorce as painless as possible. Contrary to public perception not all divorces have to involve outright war leaving a trail of destruction and despair.

Every individual going through a relationship breakdown will deal with this in their own way. Some prefer to carry on as though nothing has happened, others find it cathartic to talk to someone about their problems.”

It’s fair to say that anyone going through a separation or divorce is going to experience a series of emotional stages post-breakdown. These could range from anger and depression to fear and frustration. All perfectly normal feelings and reactions to an emotionally difficult situation. It’s important to recognise these feelings but to try and stay positive. 

Sometimes the support of friends and family is enough to see a person through, others may need more help such as counselling or medical advice.

With the right divorce lawyer you should be able to resolve a divorce sensibly enabling you and your children to move on with your lives in the most amicable and constructive way.” 

So what is the secret? 

Divorce lawyers’ tips for a less stressful divorce

Luci explains, “As tempting as it is to take advice from your best friend or the “know it all guy” in the pub it’s really important to seek proper professional advice. Couple this with my 5 tips below:

 

  1. Talk to a family lawyer who is ideally a member of Resolution committed to resolving disputes in a non-confrontational way.
  2. Listen to the professional advice given to you and try to act upon it. Always negotiate before you litigate. Compromise is the essence of any agreement.
  3. Inevitably there will be disagreements with your spouse but try to keep emotions under control and avoid verbal abuse and threats. This will simply lead to them becoming difficult and inflexible. You do not want a war.
  4. Try to avoid involving the children or using them as a pawn. They are innocent in this situation and they will need the love and support of both parents. Ideally sit down and agree a parenting plan.
  5. Think about timing. You may have been thinking about a divorce for years whereas your partner may only have received the news a matter of weeks ago. Expecting your spouse to discuss future living arrangements at a time when they are still reeling from the news that you want to end the marriage, may be unrealistic. You might have to slow down for a while, be patient, and wait until they are ready to move things forward.”

Whilst getting a divorce is clearly not an ideal situation it does not have to be a time consuming, stressful, unpleasant money pit.

Sensible advice coupled with calm cooperation can help to ensure the experience is as painless and cost effective as possible but more importantly that you and your children can move forward with your lives in the best possible way.

Luci is an experienced and approachable divorce and family solicitor with Woolley & Co, based in Barnet, Greater London.  Her working mantra is to establish what clients want and move towards achieving that outcome as quickly and as cost-effectively as possible.