Category: Loneliness

Guest Post: Making the Climb: 4 Tricks to begin the fight against Drug Addiction by Kara Masterson

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 7 Comments

Making the Climb, 4 Tricks to Beginning the Fight Against Drug Addiction (1).png

It all started at a party you attended a few months ago. You were feeling down after the big break up, and you just wanted to feel good again. Someone at the party offered you some pills, and they made you feel better than you had felt in a long time. Before you knew it, you were a regular user. At first the confidence and the euphoria were too irresistible to pass up.

Once hooked, you always knew how to get ahold of your drug of choice. It was always just a phone call away. Unfortunately, one thing lead to another and now the pills are not having the same effect they used to provide you with. In fact, you need more to get the same feelings, but coming down has been much more difficult on you than you ever imagined it could be. In a particular low moment, you started to think that it might be time to fight your drug addiction, but where do you begin?

Admitting Your Problem

As with most problems, fighting a drug addiction begins with admitting to yourself that you definitely have a problem with drugs. If you are not committed to this being the truth, then you will find it is difficult to see a commitment to overcome the addiction through to the end. When you are certain that you want to give up your addiction and will do anything to make that a reality, then you are ready to take the journey necessary to reclaim your life back from drug addiction.

Disassociate from Your Connection

As long as you can call someone to enable you to continue in an addiction, you will be driven by the addiction to do so. To fight and overcome a drug addiction, you must break all ties with the people who enable you. By making this commitment, you are getting rid of the source of your addictive behavior.

Build a Support Network

To give yourself the best chance at overcoming addiction, you need to identify the people you can trust that have your best interests in mind to confide in about your drug addiction. This could be friends, family members or even someone like a pastor or teacher.

The important thing is that you gather people around you who love you and are willing to help you see your recovery all the way through. Sure, some of these people may be disappointed to learn about your addiction at first, but ultimately those who have your best interests in mind will want to help you reclaim your life and will be there for you in times of weakness.

Get Professional Help

The next step in your treatment is to locate and visit a rehab facility that can help you to get clean from drugs. Detoxing from narcotic substances can sometimes be a difficult path to walk down, but it is best dealt with by working with professionals like Kick Recovery Coaching or someone similar who have helped countless people through this process. They will not only be able to help you know what to expect, but they can provide you with ways to get through the detox phase that are rooted in the latest drug addiction treatment options.

The road ahead may not be an easy one, but it is definitely better than not seeking any help at all. The simple reality is that drugs ruin lives, but you do not have to be a statistic or a willing victim. By taking up the fight to reclaim your life from a drug addiction, you will come out the other end of this journey a much stronger person for it.

Kara Masterson is a freelance writer based in the USA.

Extract from my latest Metro.co.uk article: 6 people share their experiences of friendship during Mental Illness

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 5 Comments

metrofriends

(image: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

I have bipolar disorder and four years ago I was hospitalised for a severe manic episode.

Without the love, kindness and support of my friends, I definitely would not have recovered as well.

Their support reminds me I am not alone and helps me to feel loved and safe. But mental ill health can be frightening for those who do not understand it, and sometimes friendships can be lost when one person experiences a mental health condition.

Some people may find it hard to cope with symptoms of a friend’s illness and, as such, cut ties or back away.

Jessica Valentine, psychologist at the Brighton Wellness Centre spoke to Metro.co.uk. She says: ‘Sometimes having a friend with a mental health illness can be draining. ‘On the other hand, it’s good to experience the journey of mental health; the ups and the downs, from a personal level. ‘You really get to ‘feel’ your friend come out of the depression. And, it somewhat makes you feel that you are living it too, side by side, helping them.’

The Mental Health Foundation explains that friendship can ‘play a key role in helping someone live with or recover from a mental health problem and overcome the isolation that often comes with it.

It advises that many people who manage to hold onto friendships while experiencing a mental health condition can see those friendships become stronger as a result.

I wanted to see the role of friendships in other peoples’ lives, either when they were coping with a mental health condition, or when they had witnessed a friend in crisis.

Here six people explain their experiences:

Read their experiences and rest of article: http://metro.co.uk/2018/03/01/6-people-share-their-experiences-of-friendship-during-mental-illness-7343290/?ito=cbshare

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/

Why Wait: Eating Disorder Awareness Week and My story with Anorexia: Guest post by Hannah Brown

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 10 Comments

storms1

(image: rebloggy)

Please read with care: Trigger Warning: Eating disorder Discussion

As Eating Disorder awareness week progresses, it has really got me thinking about my own journey and the symptoms that I experienced as part of my anorexia.

The hashtag #WhyWait is being used this week as we all come to terms with the fact that according to Beat 34% of UK adults cannot name a symptom of an eating disorder, and that even more shockingly sufferers wait 3 years before seeking any sort of treatment.

Aged 19,I started the diet that I thought would give me a wealth of happiness, how wrong I was. What I also started was my gradual decline into anorexia. There were warning signs, there were behaviours that were obsessive and out of control, my physical appearance was changing, becoming weaker and I was almost translucent in colour-  but most strikingly was the change to my personality.

Extreme calorie restriction causes a massive reduction in personal motivation and general apathy. Studies have shown how thoughts become obsessed on food and their behaviours around meals soon turns slightly absurd.

This was absolutely my experience, it crept up on me scarily, without warning. As my diet became more and more refined, my thoughts were turning more and more to food, how I could further restrict, avoid the meal time or alter plans in order to exercise more.

There were so many signs, so many warning lights that for some reason I chose to ignore. I brushed them under the carpet, and kept up with the pretence of “I’m fine”.

Ignoring the issue, or refusal to acknowledge that a problem was developing was a symptom of my perfectionism and the denial that I was experiencing was concurrent with my theme of being the strong one, both within my peer groups and within my family unit.

But why was I waiting, what was I waiting for?

findyourhappy
(image: Rebloggy)

What I didn’t realise was that by waiting to act on my symptoms with any sort of conviction and determination, I was simply prolonging the agony that I would face in the initial stages of my recovery, making those first few months even more difficult. As the behaviours became more entrenched, they became habitual in nature. Personality traits that were once alien and unrecognisable soon become my identity.

There came a time, that I decided to reach out to my GP and unfortunately I didn’t quite get the support that I thought I was going to- whilst I wasn’t turned away, my weight certainly wasn’t critical enough to cause any sort of concern from the medical profession and the advise was to add a dessert into my meal plan, perhaps the occasional spread of butter.

In hindsight, perhaps if I had listened to this very basic advice I wouldn’t have gone on to lose more weight. However, there was no attention given to the mental battles that I was starting to have with my intuition and my fear of food- or the the fear of losing control over it.

Visiting my GP had taken a great deal of courage, as I said I’m always the one that is simply fine, is there for everyone else, often at the expense of myself. To get this quite flippant advice left me feeling slightly desensitised. I left wth their advice- put it in a box and chose to ignore it, my mental health not addressed.

But I don’t want my experience to stop you, or your loved ones reaching out to your GP, because for many they can be the most valuable resource available. Go in, if you can with a loved one and don’t leave that room until you have been given care that you totally deserve.

Alternatively use the Beat help finder page to find that source of support that will be right for you, grab it and don’t let go.

It is OK not to be OK, it is OK to struggle, and it is OK to ask for help. The term “admitting” has slightly negative connotations, like we are owning up to something, a crime. But please, please do not think of it like this. You wouldn’t ever wait after discovering a lump, or if feeling constantly unwell- the same should be said for your mental health.

My journey continued and things didn’t get better until they had got much much worse. I ended up in hospital, but even then I was naive at just how unwell I had become. Hospital was an experience that I will never forget, it was difficult and lonely but undoubtedly it did save my life.

I know, deep down though, that it could have been avoided, I could have saved myself and prevented all the heartache that I endured as part of my recovery.

In reading this, please ask yourself the question: Why Wait?

And take it from me, i might not know you, but you absolutely deserve to receive support and help.

You’re not weak but wholesome and rich, go to my website https://aneartohear.co.uk/- because you deserve to be heard. We can help you.

What to do if you think you have Depression: a Guide.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

christy
(image: Christy Ann Martine)

This blog was voted for in my  Facebook group online poll and so I have decided to write it, with my advice from personal experience and more.

So firstly- what is Depression? Depression is more than just low mood. It can affect your entire ability to function. Depression symptoms include your mind slowing down, poor concentration, lack of sleep or too much sleep (when depressed I sleep too much), more tearful than normal/ prolonged low mood, loss of motivation and ability to go to work/ socialise, not wanting to do activities you enjoy, feeling lost and/or hopeless about life.

Some people who are depressed will self medicate with alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, spending money- anything to make them feel a bit better. Some may start expressing suicidal thinking and ideation or make plans to end their own lives. For others, depression can be part of a wider mental health disorder. I have bipolar disorder for example and depressive episodes are part of my illness. So its a big topic and one which is different for each person (due to brain chemistry and environment).  Anxiety and self harm can also be part of depression.

So what to do if you think you are depressed?

1) Make an appointment to see your GP/ Doctor immediately. If you can get an urgent appointment, do. Tell them how you are feeling and they may suggest medication such as anti depressants which help lift mood and get you back to normal functioning and/or recommend you to a therapist. NHS waiting lists in the UK are ridiculously long for therapy, but just speaking to a doctor and taking medicine should help. Note that anti depressants do have a side effect- and can make you more anxious/ depressed within the first two weeks so talk about this with your doctor. If you have a psychiatrist and medical team (like I do), go and see them and discuss how they can help your care.

Getting better can take months and is a combination of factors. If your depression was triggered by an event, it may be good to go and see a counsellor to discuss any trauma.

2) If you are feeling suicidal and feel like self harming, disclose this to someone you trust. You may not need to be in hospital if you have a good support network, but if you are really really ill, you may need to be. However, do not be afraid for asking for help from medical professionals- especially your GP and/or psychiatrist. They are there to help you get well.

3) If you get a first time psychiatry referral- this is what will happen. You will get asked lots of questions so the doctor can ascertain what is going on. I found that being as honest as I could was more helpful. Take a loved one with you to the appointment. They may ask you to complete questionnaires on your health too and/or refer you to psychology.

4) Use your support network- friends, family, partner. If you have a loving person who understands depression in your life- lean on them. Support from others is very helpful. Depression can be stressful for all involved and some may not understand or may tell you to ‘pull yourself together’. This is just stigma and remember depression is an illness that needs treatment.

If you feel able, see friends you love and trust. When I am depressed, I find it hard to leave the house.. but love and support from others is vital- even if theyre just bringing you chocolate and magazines. Acts of kindness really help.

5) Other holistic methods can really help depression. Whether its:

*Gentle exercise
*Meditation
*Prayer if you want to pray
*Journalling and writing down your achievements however small (eg I washed the dishes)
*Colouring a picture and making something beautiful
* Good sleep regime (when depressed this can be harder)
*Eating healthy food/ foods you love
* Taking care of yourself
*Watching a funny film
* Texting a friend
This can be hard when you are depressed but I would recommend Yoga Nidra meditation for anxiety as well as Headspace meditations….

6) Be Kind to Yourself

Depression is not your fault. Its an illness and a natural part of life. You don’t have to deal with it alone and you don’t have to beat yourself up because you are feeling lower than normal.

Reach out for help but ultimately be kind to yourself. 

Eleanor Segall is the blogger and editor behind this blog Be Ur Own Light.

Guest Post: An Introduction to Trichotillomania- Hair Pulling Disorder by Ariel Taylor at trichstop.com

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

trichot
(image: eleMINT)

Trichotillomania is a hair pulling disorder that affects millions, though many are not even aware of the fact that they suffer from this condition. It’s a well-known emotional illness and if you punch in the keyword Trichotillomania on the Internet, you’ll be bombarded with blogs, journals, and, essays discussing this hair-pulling habit.

However, when it comes to analyzing this disorder, it’s more than just a case of perpetual hair-pulling. This urge to tug or pluck hair defines Trichotillomania but one needs to know the warning signs and instances that could lead to this emotional upheaval.

Trichotillomania comes under the obsessive-compulsive spectrum and is akin to Obsessive Compulsive Disorders – OCD. When it comes to OCD, Trichotillomania too is defined by compulsions i.e. the sudden need to pull or pluck out hair. Nonetheless, Trichotillomania stems more from an impulsive side while OCD is a repetition of a particular habit – more along the lines of obsession.  The main area that’s most affected is the scalp however, people don’t shy away from tearing out their eyelashes, eyebrows or other hair for that matter. A person feels at ease after hair is uprooted or successfully pulled from the skin. Chronic Trichotillomania can lead to hair loss resulting in bald patches. It’s a source of great concern to people who have family members dealing with this condition especially if they have never encountered or been familiar with an issue before.

 

Early Signs Of Trichotillomania

 

Sense Of Comfort

In times of stress and agony, individuals pull their hair inadvertently which is followed by a feeling of relief and comfort. For instance, Sally, a fifteen-year-old, starts pulling her hair when she hears her parents get into a verbal altercation with each other. For some kids, parents who quarrel often can be a reason of great discomfort. Many aren’t aware of ways to deal with such situations and resort to things or activities that give them temporary solutions. Trichotillomania happens to be one of them. The intense tugging and twisting of hair is a sign of silent suffering and pain. Somehow, that very pain turns into relief until the awkward moment of distress has passed.

Perpetual Pulling

The urge gets the better of an individual and they pull away not realizing the pain it would cause. There’s a lot of embarrassment and shame that comes with Trichotillomania. Initially, there’s denial and quite a few take a while to come to terms with accepting the fact that yes, there’s a problem. They resort to covering their bald patches by donning a hat or wearing scarves. Any unevenness on legs or hands is covered with extra layers of clothes or tattoos. People dealing with this problem either pull their hair for brief or long periods of time.  The impulsive behavior cannot be controlled and hair is pulled, no matter what.

Comparatively more than men, women are prone to get diagnosed with Trichotillomania. It brings with itself other emotional problems such as bipolar mood disorders and depression. Uneven patches of hair on the body makes many wary of social interaction since the fear of being bullied or ridiculed tends to seep in.

 

What Causes Trichotillomania?

There isn’t a specific reason that leads to Trichotillomania but there are several biological, psychoanalytical and behavioural theories associated with this disorder. For instance, neurochemical imbalance, as well as trauma connected with childhood or stressful events. Trichotillomania that occurs under psychoanalytic model denotes an unconscious unsettled past – an unfortunate incident of abuse by an acquaintance or a complete stranger.

The behavioural model for Trichotillomania stresses on painful events. For example, loss of a parent, or constant family skirmishes precedes the onset of hair pulling. An attempt to release tension is caused by such distressing instances and moments. This behavior becomes perpetual and later turns into a habit. The person may not even be aware of any initial triggers. However, it only has to be one event in response to what someone may perceive as the urge for pulling hair. The biological model for Trichotillomania purports neuro-chemical imbalance, mostly with serotonin. Levels of altered dopamine too play a vital role in aggravating Trichotillomania. It still isn’t sure if genetics need to be taken into consideration. Although some studies do suggest a rise in the percentage of Trichotillomania in people whose relatives suffer from different psychiatric disorders.

 

Plan Of Action

Continuous tugging of hair needs to be reported medically and if Trichotillomania seems an underlying cause then psychiatric as well as a medical treatment has to be initiated. Not many are aware that the earlier the intervention, the better the probability of the behavior being in control. However, it is essential to note that a person – child or an adult, sometimes do not present for treatment for Trichotillomania until two years since hair-pulling takes place. Psychological behaviour therapy and medication help with treatment for this condition. Habit reversal training as well has done wonders to people who have been suffering from this emotional ordeal.

Lastly, acceptance and patience are key factors in addressing this psychological disorder. With time along with medical help and the support and love of family and friends, Trichotillomania can surely be managed.

For more please see http://trichstop.com

Channel 4 Launches Lloyds Bank’s Mental Health Awareness Diversity in Advertising Campaign: For Time to Talk Day #GettheInsideOut

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

channel4
(image: Channel 4)

Channel 4 to launch Lloyds Bank’s £1m award-winning Diversity in Advertising campaign

  • Professor Green, Victoria Pendleton, Jeremy Paxman, Rachel Riley, Ade Adepitan, Alistair Campbell and Alex Brooker star in Lloyds Bank’s mental health awareness campaign
  • New research finds 75% of people believe there is a stigma in Britain attached to people with mental health conditions
  • Almost three quarters (74%) think the average person would be unwilling to discuss their own mental health issues
  • But nearly three quarters (72 per cent) think society has a better understanding of mental health conditions
  • Openness of celebrities and media coverage contributes to positive change

 

Lloyds Bank’s winning ad campaign of the Channel 4 £1m Diversity in Advertising Award launches exclusively on Channel 4 on mental health awareness Time To Talk Day (1.2.18).

 

The adverts will feature celebrities – including Professor Green, Jeremy Paxman, Rachel Riley and Alex Brooker – as well as members of the public and Lloyds Bank colleagues playing a variation of the ‘Who am I?’ sticky-note guessing game, to explore the common misconceptions about living with a non-visible disability.

 

And to coincide with the campaign’s launch, a new Lloyds Bank and Mental Health UK survey, reveals that although improvements have been made in how society thinks about mental health, 75 per cent of people still think there is a stigma attached to the issue.

 

Lloyds Bank and creative agency, adam&eveDDB, created the mental health adverts  after winning Channel 4’s Diversity in Advertising Award, set up by the broadcaster to improve diversity in advertising.

 

As the award winner, Lloyds Bank will receive £1m worth of advertising airtime on Channel 4. The competition invited entrants to put forward creative ideas featuring non-visible disabilities.

 

Channel 4’s Sales Director Jonathan Allan said: “Producing an advert that puts non-visible disabilities at its heart was a demanding brief and it’s been a real pleasure working with Lloyds and adamandeveddb as they developed a fantastic new campaign that makes people think more profoundly about mental health.

 

“If this campaign can encourage the public and advertisers to think a little harder about all aspects of diversity, it can help make a real difference to people’s lives.”

 

“The TV ad is brilliantly simple, yet hugely effective,” says Robin Bulloch, Managing Director, Lloyds Bank. “And while winning the Channel 4 Annual Diversity in Advertising Award in itself is a great achievement, the positive difference the campaign will hopefully allow us to make to so many people’s lives is the real ambition here. By raising awareness of invisible disabilities and taking action to promote healthy wellbeing, we can support our colleagues to recognise the signs and feel confident and equipped to support customers and each other.”

 

Lloyds Bank has been working with Mental Health UK to launch #GetTheInsideOut which will appear on the adverts. #GetTheInsideOut campaign will encourage more people to speak about mental health and aims to inspire those living with a condition to speak up about mental health.

 

Research from Lloyds Bank and Mental Health UK, undertaken by YouGov, found that seventy-five per cent of respondents feel there is a stigma in Britain attached to people with mental health conditions. And 88 per cent feel society needs to do more (much more (62%) or a little more (25%)) to better understand mental health issues.

 

The survey reveals that 67 per cent of respondents think people are more comfortable talking about mental health conditions now than they were five years ago. And people feel that the four main factors behind this change were – celebrities talking about mental health (70 per cent); media stories about mental health (70 per cent); societal change (68 per cent); and charities raising awareness (56 per cent).

 

But the research also reveals that 74 per cent of respondents think people would be fairly unwilling (62 per cent) or not willing at all (11 per cent), to discuss their own mental health issues.

 

Managing Director of Mental Health UK Brian Dow welcomed the research commissioned by Lloyds Bank and said: “We have come a long way in a short time to raise awareness. In large part thanks to the hard work of the charity sector, campaigns like Time to Change, a willingness of celebrities, notably the Royal Family, to talk about mental health and positive engagement by the media.

 

“Nevertheless this research shows that we cannot rest of on our laurels – there is a lot more that we need to do.”

 

Although the survey showed that people think significant steps have been made in the past five years on people’s awareness of mental health, more still needs to be done.

 

The survey discovers that compared to five years ago;

  • 72 per cent of respondents think that society  has a better understanding of mental health conditions
  • 69 per cent feel people empathise more with people with mental health conditions
  • 70 per cent think society is more aware of the everyday realities of living with a mental health condition
  • 70 per cent also feel there is more awareness of mental health issues raised in the media

 

In addition;

  • Fifty-six per cent of respondents said they’d feel comfortable talking to someone they don’t know very well about their mental health.
  • While 37 per cent said they’d feel uncomfortable, with over half (57%) of this group concerned that they might offend the person  and a similar proportion (56%) worried they would embarrass or upset themLloyds Bank and Mental Health UK Charity Partnership

    Lloyds Bank is proud to be working in partnership with Mental Health UK. Together the Bank and Charity aim to promote awareness of the link between mental health and money problems, encourage discussion between customers and colleagues. To date, colleagues and customers have raised over £4.8 million which has enabled Mental Health UK to design, build and launch a pioneering new service called Mental Health and Money Advice. This service is the UK’s first advice service dedicated to helping people understand, manage and improve their financial and mental health.

    For further information –

    Channel 4 –

    Tim English, Group PR Manager

    1. 020 7306 6984
    2. tenglish@channel4.co.uk

     

    Lloyds Bank –

    Eve Speight

    M: 07585965319

    E: eve.speight@lloydsbanking.com

     

     

7 Tips for Feeling Less Lonely (for Time to Talk Day) by Eugene Farrell at AXA PPP Healthcare

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

lonely

Ahead of Time to Talk Day tomorrow, the concept of speaking about mental health worries and communicating rather than bottle feelings up is really important.

According to the Office for National Statistics, Britain is the loneliness capital of Europe, with many Brits unlikely to know their neighbours or feel they have friendships that they believe they can rely on in a crisis.

 Research by the charity, Relate, found that 9% of Brits of all ages don’t have a single close friend, while separately, a study by AXA PPP healthcare that British adults aged 18 to 24 are four times as likely to feel consistently lonely than those over 70.

 In addition to this, “the build-up to days like Valentine’s Day and the day itself can be quite intense, which is difficult for those who are already feeling isolated or lonely,” explains Eugene Farrell, Head of Trauma Support Services at AXA PPP healthcare.

 “Although loneliness is often associated with the elderly, it’s actually an issue which can affect the physical and mental wellbeing of people of all ages.”

 “In fact, studies have found that loneliness can increase the risk of high blood pressure, and have an impact on cognitive decline, dementia and depression. While addressing your experience of loneliness may take time, taking steps to build new and improve existing connections will help to improve your overall wellbeing.”

 Here, Eugene gives his top tips on how to overcome feelings of loneliness:

1.    Making new connections can be an obvious way to combat loneliness and yield positive results, for example joining a group or class you are interested in will increase your chances of meeting like-minded people to connect with. Increasingly too we are turning to the internet for companionship, with community groups existing in almost every niche interest group you could imagine.

2.    Be more open. If you feel that you have plenty of connections but don’t feel close to any of them, the underlying issue may be that you need to open up to them more to deepen your connection, as an example letting the friend or acquaintance in on a vulnerability felt or your honest opinion about an issue.

3.    Stop comparing yourself to others. The desire to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ is not a new one, however the rise of social media has only exacerbated the problem by giving individuals the chance to constantly compare themselves to others. If you’re already feeling lonely, the idea that everyone else’s life is more idyllic than yours can make you feel even more isolated and alone. This can lead us to ‘compare and despair’ – which further exacerbates our negative experiences. Remind yourself that people only share what they want others to see about their lives. Don’t form unrealistic expectations about life and friendship based on what you see online.

4.    Keep all lines of communication open. Having a chat with a friend or relative over the phone can be the next best thing to being with them. Or you can stay connected with loved ones online. Video chat, exchange photos and keep up to date with the latest news from friends and family with Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or simply keep in contact by email.

 

5.    Volunteering is also a great way to meet new people and feel good about helping others. It will not only allow you to give something back to your community but will also help you to feel more connected, involved and needed. There are lots of volunteering roles that need your skills and experience. It can also have a positive effect upon your mental health through helping others.

 

6.    Pride comes before a fall. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people and ask for help, companionship or just a chat. They may be feeling lonely too!

 

7.    Take it slow. If you’ve felt lonely for a while, or experience anxiety around new social situations, throwing yourself in at the deep end could only act to exacerbate the problem. Instead, dip your toes into the water first by going to a local café or sports event where you are surrounded by people, and just enjoy sharing their company. Or try a class where you can dive into the activity itself to distract you from the pressure of introducing yourself to people straight away. With loneliness, slow and steady often wins the race.

  If you think you might be struggling with symptoms of loneliness, find more tips and advice at AXA PPP healthcare’s Mental Health Centre.

Grey Clouds… Inspirational Lyrics by Stephen M Galloway.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 8 Comments

This set of song lyrics/ poetry was sent to me by an amazing person on Twitter- Stephen Galloway who wanted me to share it to help others. He has his own mental health issues but wants to help readers of Be Ur Own Light. I hope you enjoy reading, please note: you may feel emotional reading, so read these beautiful words with care!

shutterstock1
(image: shutterstock)

Grey Clouds…

If you get lost along the road
Let me be the hand you hold
I swear I’ll help you bear your load
And lead you safely back to home
If this world should seem too dark
Let me show you where
To heal all of those painful scars
Make whole again that broken heart
You’ve been there for me, now please believe I won’t leave until your skies are clear
And those grey clouds have disappeared
If your words just won’t come out
Let me be the voice with which you shout
If your fragile mind is filled with doubt
I’ll hold you tight; I’ll hold you proud
If your shoulder’s sore from all the weight
If the path you walk just won’t stay straight 
Just call my name and right away
I’ll be back by your side again
You’ve been there for me, now please believe I won’t leave until your skies are clear
And those grey clouds have disappeared
I want to help for you saved me
From a loneliness like you won’t believe
I was blind until you helped me see
I was numb until you made me feel
You were there for me, now please believe I’m not leaving ’til your skies are clear
And those grey clouds have disappeared
Please believe I’ll be right here
Until those grey clouds disappear
Just like you did for me Oh, just like you did for me

© Stephen M Galloway – 11th August 2017

How I stopped Self Medicating my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder- PTSD and found Recovery by Peter Lang

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment


hopeptsd1
(image: sayquotable.com)

Peter Lang shares his amazing story of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, homelessness and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Trigger warning: please be careful when reading, talk of drug use. 
Most people think of veterans when they think of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Unfortunately, I know all too well that PTSD can also affect civilians. PTSD is defined as the psychiatric disorder that happens following a traumatic event. While war is a common traumatic event that causes PTSD, it’s not the only kind of trauma. Traumatic events can include abuse, life-threatening illnesses, and serious accidents.

As a homeless drug addict, I experienced my share of traumatic events. I spent most of my twenties without a home: couch surfing with acquaintances and strangers all over the country, living on the streets of Philadelphia, and living on the beach in Maui. Throughout this time, I used every substance you can think of: alcohol, heroin, cocaine, meth, prescription medication. I drank so much, I developed avascular necrosis in my hips, which later led to a bilateral hip replacement after a car accident at age 30.

After I got hit by a car when crossing a street in Philadelphia, my mom asked me to come down to Georgia to stay with her. I spent the next two years in a wheelchair. Though I tried periodically to stop drinking and using drugs—with some success—I still struggled. I know now that one of the main reasons I was struggling was that I was trying to self-medicate my PTSD.

On the street, I experienced many traumatic events. There were so many times I got beaten up or taken advantage of or almost died. Once in Hawaii, I did die, and they had to revive me in the hospital. The doctor told me with the amount of alcohol I had in my bloodstream, it was a miracle I was alive.

In early 2016, I met a woman who changed my life. We fell in love almost immediately after meeting each other, and we got married a year later. We are about to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary.

She made me see that it was okay to ask for help with my PTSD. I didn’t have to feel like I had to take care of it all the time. She made me see that a great deal of my struggles with substances was because I was just trying to numb the pain from traumatic events I hadn’t dealt with.

At one point, I was prescribed benzodiazepines, which did help my PTSD. However, I was never able to take the medication the way I was supposed to, and they became just another substance for me to abuse as opposed to a helpful tool.

It was clear that in order to stop self-medicating, I was going to have to see a counsellor and confront my traumatic events. I started seeing a therapist regularly, and she has helped me immensely. She has helped me to open my eyes and stare the traumatic memories in the face, knowing that they don’t define me.

Another tool that was incredibly helpful for me was meditation. By meditating, I could learn how to become spiritually centered and stop identifying with the painful memories. I’ve also been greatly helped by Buddhist-based 12-step meetings, which have given me a unique perspective on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Now, I’m doing better than ever. My wife and I are ridiculously in love, we just moved into a nice house, and I’m working full-time as a freelance writer and marketer. I wouldn’t be where I was today if I was unable to deal with my PTSD. I would have never been able to stay clean and sober if I kept self-medicating.

I still struggle with my PTSD frequently. It hasn’t gone away. But now I have the tools to handle any episodes that do come up.

Many people suffering from a substance use disorder are also suffering from a co-occurring mental health disorder. You can treat one without also treating the other. Luckily, you don’t have to. There are plenty of resources that will help you to seek the treatment that you need. All you have to do is ask for it and be open to it.

Peter Lang is a freelance writer from Atlanta, Georgia. He occasionally writes for The Recovery Village. In recovery himself, he has dedicated himself to helping others struggling with substance abuse.

 

Light Beyond Self Harm by Kaitlyn W at withbeingalive.wordpress.com

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 16 Comments

selfharmselflove
(image: Dare to Live SOS) 

The author Kaitlyn blogs at www.withbeingalive.wordpress.com . Trigger warning: talks about self harm behaviours (but not graphically), please be careful when reading.

When you are curled within the cradling, spiked tentacles of self-harm – one wrapped around each wrist, and another brushing away any tears – those pesky alternatives of “holding an ice cube!” or “colour in!” can seem shallow; laughable even. You are shoulder-deep in the swampy mud that is self-harm, the goop surrounding you can feel ever-rising, and there is a stigma of wading in this particular swamp – you should be ashamed that you are.

 

During self-harm, it can feel impossible to have hope. A hope for a different reality can feel light years and stone barricade walls away. It can feel like the darkness (or swamp mud, whichever you would prefer to call it) is all consuming, your actions are all that you are, and the glittery, floaty wings of change have no way to weave in.

 

However, it is my privilege to share today that you are so much more than self-harm tells you that you are. Consequently, that there is hope beyond self-harm, and that this hope is yours. Ultimately, self-harm does not need to have a role in your life.

 

Despite how inherently wrongly created and badly designed for life you may feel, this is not who you truly are. Despite the mess, the exhausting racket that constantly parties too hard in your brain, remember that you are only witnessing this all from one perspective. You exist not only to yourself, right now, but also to child you and future you, to other people, and you exist beyond the darkness you feel. In all these other ways, you are who you are, and you are not the engulfing darkness. You have the potential to be who you are, to live the life you deserve to live; to be in the light beyond self-harm.

 

It’s safe to say that self-harm exists as a little bundle of menace, born from doubts, fears, life experiences, unhealthy coping strategies, and maybe a few other things thrown into the mix too. Although that can feel like an awful lot, or perhaps literally everything, which is an incredibly heavy load to carry, it really isn’t everything. Your doubts and fears can simply be. They inherently don’t have to control your behaviour. As for a way to cope, there are plenty of other ways to cope too. Self-harm isn’t the sole solution or the only option.

 

In a grumbling, gravelly voice, self-harm can mutter about how you won’t be able to survive without it. That you deserve the constricting boundaries that self-harm makes you believe you are worthy of. In these times, it can really help to recognise that this is self-harm talking. That these thoughts aren’t you, and that you don’t need to act upon them. You could imagine that self-harm is a preteen yelling at the Xbox, or maybe you like the swamp monster with tentacles idea. Either way, give self-harm an identity that’s not you. Self-harm then becomes an annoying, whining brat whose tantrums you can work on ignoring, rather than indulging. Do you really think self-harm deserves a brownie?

 

What also really helps to pry yourself free from self-harm’s sticky little claws, is finding out what works for you. Go to therapy or a support group and engage in professional help; they have spent several years training to help people in exactly the same situation. Find someone you can talk to; a small yarn can go a long way. Try out those alternatives (and there are so many more too) that were mentioned at the beginning; they can seem plain kooky, but give them a go! I guarantee that there will be at least one that can ease self-harm’s whinging, taking it down from a full-blown tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, to perhaps a soft snivel on the bottom step of the staircase.

 

To end with, there is light and hope in having a life beyond self-harm. You have the potential to exist as bigger and brighter, as vast and brilliant, than what self-harm croaks about you. Go out there and stomp and shout, and simply be – be loud, be radiant – you are greater than what self-harm tells you that you are