Category: Men

Mental Health Experts Shine A Light On The Struggle Of Infertility Over The Festive Season by Experts at JAAQ

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

(image: Victoria Volkova Unsplash)

For many people, Christmas time/festive season is a time for happiness, family and bringing people together; however, one in seven UK couples face a hidden grief : infertility..

Research reveals that nearly three in four people battling infertility are burdened with feelings of failure, ​​adding to the hidden grief many already feel during the holidays. In response, mental health platform JAAQ wants to spread awareness around why infertility can be harder during the holidays and what we can do to approach the topic sensitively.

Male fertility coach explains why infertility feels heavier during the festive season 

Male fertility coach, Shaun Greenway, who was diagnosed with azoospermia, explains on JAAQ why the holiday season is so difficult: “We got a pregnancy announcement at Christmas, and it took me right back to that place. That hurt. That weird feeling of happiness mixed in with jealousy and anger and pain.”  Even after he had twins via donor sperm, the emotions didn’t disappear “It will always be part of me. It’s always there.”

Shaun’s experience highlights a truth many people face – that infertility doesn’t end with treatment or conception; it changes shape, often resurfacing during emotionally charged times like Christmas, a time filled with pregnancy announcements and marketing imagery filled with children and togetherness.

Founder and CEO of Fertility Help Hub, Eloise Edington, knows that pain well. Supporting her devastated husband while navigating her own grief, she recalls when speaking on JAAQ: “Supporting my devastated husband while also equally grieving myself and knowing that we would never have a biological child together meant we were both drowning in separate pain.”

She’s open about the reality of those moments: “Lots of crying, lots of eating chocolate, wine, being together. Not pretty. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just real.” For many couples facing infertility, this is the reality of Christmas – raw, difficult and far from the idealised celebrations we often imagine. 

(image: Priscilla Prisceez, Unsplash)

4 dos and don’ts for talking about infertility this holiday season

To make the festive season a little easier, mental health platform JAAQ has revealed four essential dos and don’ts for talking about infertility this Christmas – whether you’re facing it yourself, or want to approach the topic sensitively with others. 

Dos:

  • 1. Think before you ask sensitive questions about pregnancy or starting a family and wait for them to bring it up themselves naturally in conversation.
  • 2. Share with someone you trust – If you are struggling, consider speaking openly with someone, whether in person or by message, which can help you to process your emotions. For Shaun, he shared: “Once I did start opening up, that’s when everything got a bit lighter.” Elouise suggests, “Find community, find support, speak to other people who are going through similar struggles. How are they dealing with it? What are they doing to keep the romance alive or to get through this tricky time and enjoy life?”
  • 3. Encourage without imposing your opinion. If someone shares something personal, listen fully before responding. Let them know you are there for them and ask how you can support them, rather than assuming what they need. 
  • 4. Create a Christmas/ festive routine that works for you. If traditional celebrations feel overwhelming, permit yourself to do things differently. You might skip the big dinner, start a new ritual like a quiet morning walk with coffee, or find other ways to mark the day that feel manageable.  

Dont’s:

  • Don’t ask personal questions about pregnancy or family plans, especially in social settings
  • Don’t offer unsolicited advice like ‘just relax’ or ‘it’ll happen when it’s meant to’
  • Don’t probe with follow-up questions if someone opens up; listen supportively rather than asking questions that might cause unintentional distress
  • Don’t pressure someone to participate in every activity or ‘get into the spirit.’ Sometimes the kindest thing is simply allowing them to step away 

(image: Pereanu Sebastian: Unsplash)

About JAAQ

JAAQ – which stands for Just Ask A Question is a pioneering mental health platform designed to make credible, compassionate support accessible to everyone – especially in the workplace. The platform provides engaging, clinically backed content by connecting users with experts and individuals with lived experience, who answer mental health questions anonymously. This unique, interactive approach empowers people to explore their mental wellbeing in a safe, stigma-free environment.

Highlighting The Anxiety That Men Face With Their Appearance And Body Dysmorphia By Michael Saul, Partner At Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

(image: Pexels- Martin Pechy)

Appearance-related anxiety in men is deeply rooted in psychological and societal factors. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) describes how men can become fixated on perceived flaws, such as their hair, muscles, or facial features. This preoccupation goes beyond ordinary concern and can lead to behaviours like avoiding mirrors or compulsively seeking reassurance. Research shows that this anxiety is not purely superficial but often stems from deeper psychological issues, including past trauma or negative experiences during adolescence. Understanding these origins helps to address the mental health challenges men face, rather than solely relying on cosmetic interventions.

The Psychological Roots of Male Appearance Anxiety

Psychological and societal factors often drive appearance anxiety among men. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) exemplifies how men can become fixated on perceived flaws, such as their hair, muscles, or facial features. This fixation goes beyond normal concern and is marked by distress and compulsive behaviours, including excessive mirror checking and seeking reassurance. The condition often has roots in past traumas or negative experiences, particularly during adolescence which compounds the development of BDD.

This anxiety is further exacerbated by cultural narratives around masculinity and appearance where societal expectations can aggravate the psychological impact of conditions like androgenic alopecia. Addressing these issues requires a comprehensive understanding of their origins, as relying on cosmetic interventions alone fails to resolve the underlying psychological distress. This deeper understanding provides effective support and treatment options for men struggling with appearance-related anxiety.

The Impact of Hair Loss on Men’s Mental Health

Androgenic alopecia (AGA), commonly known as male pattern baldness, has a profound impact on men’s self-esteem and mental health. Studies indicate that AGA can impair quality of life, particularly in younger men who view hair loss as a sign of ageing or loss of masculinity. This psychological burden is often underestimated, as societal attitudes towards baldness remain largely negative. Men may feel pressured to conform to idealised standards of appearance, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal.

Unlike BDD, which involves a distorted perception of minor or imagined flaws, AGA concerns are based on actual physical changes, yet the emotional distress can be similar. Many men experience shame and lowered self-esteem, avoiding social situations or altering their behaviour to hide their hair loss. These reactions underscore the need for psychological support rather than cosmetic interventions, which often fail to address the underlying emotional distress associated with hair loss.

The Misconception of Cosmetic Surgery as a Solution

Despite the psychological distress caused by conditions like BDD and androgenic alopecia, many men mistakenly view cosmetic surgery as a solution to their appearance-related anxieties. This misconception is particularly evident in cases where individuals pursue surgical interventions without addressing the underlying psychological issues. Surgery often fails to resolve the distress, and in some instances, it can worsen symptoms. BDD is a perceptual disorder where the perceived flaw is rarely corrected by physical changes. Men seeking surgical solutions may find temporary relief, but this approach does not address the root cause of their anxiety.

Treatment for BDD should include psychological therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which help individuals manage their obsessive thoughts and develop healthier ways of coping with their appearance concerns. Without this psychological support, men remain at risk of dissatisfaction and further psychological harm, even after undergoing surgery.

(image: Daria Liudnaya: Pexels)

The Importance of Recognising Psychological Triggers

To address male appearance anxiety, men must recognise its psychological triggers. Research indicates that many men develop BDD or experience distress from hair loss due to past traumas or negative experiences during adolescence. These triggers can include bullying, teasing, or other forms of social rejection. Recognising these underlying factors is essential for effective treatment, as focusing solely on cosmetic solutions overlooks the deep-seated psychological issues. Integrating therapeutic approaches that address these triggers can significantly improve outcomes and reduce the reliance on cosmetic interventions.

Legal Considerations for Men Seeking Cosmetic Surgery

Men opting for cosmetic surgery must be aware that, even with informed consent, procedures can sometimes lead to complications or dissatisfaction. Those with psychological conditions like body dysmorphic disorder may not fully grasp the risks involved, which could result in a poor surgical outcome or aggravation of mental health issues. If a surgeon fails to assess psychological fitness or provide adequate information about potential risks, this may constitute cosmetic surgery negligence. Men in such situations have the legal right to pursue claims if the surgery worsens their condition or results in harm.

Solicitors can assist clients who have experienced negligent cosmetic surgery by examining whether the medical professional involved adhered to their duty of care. For men affected by psychological issues like body dysmorphic disorder, a failure to conduct proper assessments or consider the mental state of the patient before surgery could be grounds for legal action. Solicitors provide guidance on collecting evidence and understanding the options available for claiming compensation if the surgery has caused further harm or did not meet reasonable standards.

Men contemplating cosmetic surgery should prioritise professional psychological support to understand their motivations and potential outcomes better. Conditions like body dysmorphic disorder can distort self-perception, and as such, points to psychological therapy as the first step. Consulting a mental health professional can clarify whether surgery is the appropriate course of action. Combining psychological and legal support provides a more secure and informed approach to managing appearance-related issues.

This article was written by Michael Saul, Partner at Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors.

How to reduce Stress and maintain Mental health during a Divorce: Guest blog by Luci Larkin at Woolley&Co

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 3 Comments

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(image: https://sasforwomen.com/divorce-quotes-inspirational/)

Going through a divorce or relationship breakdown can be one of the most stressful situations a person can find themselves in. You lose your friend, partner, confidante and have to adapt to living as a single person, often as the primary carer of children. 

This is a time of extreme and mixed emotions made more complicated by the stresses and worries of legal and financial considerations as well as having to support and counsel any children that may be involved and suffering too.

With mental health problems on the rise and divorce being listed as one of the leading contributors, Luci Larkin from Family Law Solicitors, Woolley & Co, explains how you can reduce stress during such a turbulent time in your life.

“If you have decided your marriage is over you will most probably want to make the whole process of divorce as painless as possible. Contrary to public perception not all divorces have to involve outright war leaving a trail of destruction and despair.

Every individual going through a relationship breakdown will deal with this in their own way. Some prefer to carry on as though nothing has happened, others find it cathartic to talk to someone about their problems.”

It’s fair to say that anyone going through a separation or divorce is going to experience a series of emotional stages post-breakdown. These could range from anger and depression to fear and frustration. All perfectly normal feelings and reactions to an emotionally difficult situation. It’s important to recognise these feelings but to try and stay positive. 

Sometimes the support of friends and family is enough to see a person through, others may need more help such as counselling or medical advice.

With the right divorce lawyer you should be able to resolve a divorce sensibly enabling you and your children to move on with your lives in the most amicable and constructive way.” 

So what is the secret? 

Divorce lawyers’ tips for a less stressful divorce

Luci explains, “As tempting as it is to take advice from your best friend or the “know it all guy” in the pub it’s really important to seek proper professional advice. Couple this with my 5 tips below:

 

  1. Talk to a family lawyer who is ideally a member of Resolution committed to resolving disputes in a non-confrontational way.
  2. Listen to the professional advice given to you and try to act upon it. Always negotiate before you litigate. Compromise is the essence of any agreement.
  3. Inevitably there will be disagreements with your spouse but try to keep emotions under control and avoid verbal abuse and threats. This will simply lead to them becoming difficult and inflexible. You do not want a war.
  4. Try to avoid involving the children or using them as a pawn. They are innocent in this situation and they will need the love and support of both parents. Ideally sit down and agree a parenting plan.
  5. Think about timing. You may have been thinking about a divorce for years whereas your partner may only have received the news a matter of weeks ago. Expecting your spouse to discuss future living arrangements at a time when they are still reeling from the news that you want to end the marriage, may be unrealistic. You might have to slow down for a while, be patient, and wait until they are ready to move things forward.”

Whilst getting a divorce is clearly not an ideal situation it does not have to be a time consuming, stressful, unpleasant money pit.

Sensible advice coupled with calm cooperation can help to ensure the experience is as painless and cost effective as possible but more importantly that you and your children can move forward with your lives in the best possible way.

Luci is an experienced and approachable divorce and family solicitor with Woolley & Co, based in Barnet, Greater London.  Her working mantra is to establish what clients want and move towards achieving that outcome as quickly and as cost-effectively as possible. 

 

The Connection Between Anxiety and Substance Abuse: Guest blog by Nu View Treatment Center

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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(image: Recovery Direct)

When people abuse drugs and alcohol, it is often the sign of a deeper underlying issue. For many people struggling with addiction, the source of their addiction is due to mental illness that often has gone undiagnosed. One of the most common co-occurring disorders seen with substance abuse is anxiety. The following article will outline what defines anxiety, and the connection between anxiety and substance abuse.

What is Anxiety?

In general, anxiety is an important emotion to have. While it may be normal to feel fear, apprehension, and nervousness from time to time, it becomes an issue when people experience these emotions at excessive levels. When anxiety takes over a person’s thought process, it manifests itself into physical symptoms such as the following:

  •    Increased and constant restlessness
  •    Increased and uncontrollable feelings of worry
  •    Irritability
  •    concentration difficulties
  •    sleep problems

 

Anxiety can be grouped into several types of disorders. These can include generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), phobias, social anxiety disorder, and selective mutism among others. The leading causes of anxiety include work and family stresses, financial worries as well as underlying medical issues. The roots of anxiety can also be traced to past traumatic events that are unresolved.

 

How Anxiety and Substance Abuse Connect

When people suffer from anxiety, mental and physical symptoms can be very intense and can wear on the body and mind. To get some form of relief, people may turn to substances that stimulate dopamine in the brain to help numb the feelings of discomfort. Self-medicating oneself to take the edge of off anxiety only works in the short-term and can have a rebound effect that makes anxiety worse over time. Without addressing the roots of anxiety, their condition will worsen over time—along with their substance use.

The connection between anxiety and substance abuse can also trace back to the teenage and young adult years. During adolescence, the brain is still developing and forming. If people used drugs as a teenager, it could alter the development of the parts of the brain that govern reasoning and impulse control. Drug and alcohol use early in life can increase the likelihood of anxiety and substance abuse as that person gets older.

Another reason for anxiety disorders and substance abuse connection is because of one’s genetics. Some people may be more predisposed to both anxiety and drug and alcohol dependence through genetic factors shaped by one’s environment.

 

Getting Help

For those dealing with co-occurring disorders, they must seek specialised help from a dual diagnosis treatment facility specializing in mental health and addiction disorders. The first step in getting help is undergoing medical detoxification. During detox, patients will undergo medication-assisted therapy to help better tolerate the physical and psychological symptoms associated with withdrawal. Additionally, staff will perform physical and mental health evaluations to pinpoint any underlying issues that may impact recovery.

For those suffering from dual diagnosis, treatment will include mental health services in addition to addiction treatment services. Dual diagnosis facilities feature mental health professionals working alongside addiction treatment personnel in creating an individual treatment plan that fits each client’s specific needs.

In addition to therapy, 12-step counselling, life, and coping skills training and other forms of treatment, patients will receive mental health treatment with a focus on ongoing counselling and medication-based therapies that will give them the tools to handle anxiety.

 

This guest blog was written by Nu View Treatment Center

Understanding PTSD by Gender: Guest blog by Dale Vernor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 5 Comments

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(image: Kennington Osteopaths)

Post traumatic Stress Disorder, better known as PTSD can occur in a person who has experienced or been a witness to an event that is traumatic enough to affect their lives in a negative way. Witnessing a death, a serious accident, war, abuse, being a victim of a crime, natural disasters and childhood trauma can all be causes of PTSD. Many people only associate PTSD with war and veterans, but the truth is an estimated 3.5 percent of the US population suffers from PTSD.

Research has shown that there are differences in the brain when it comes to how men and women process and deal with PTSD. Science is admittedly behind on truly understanding the gender differences when it comes to PTSD and how it is expressed, but there have been some findings.

Men and women respond to stress differently. Men are more likely to respond with a fight-or-flight response in a stressful situation and women are more likely to use a more calming response known as tend-and-befriend.

This is an emotion-focused coping mechanism. It should be noted that there is so little data that stereotypes should not be formed, however, there is enough data to support differences in the genders.

PTSD in Men

Men are more likely to have PTSD due to combat trauma, trauma from natural disasters and disasters caused by human force, some sort of violence and accidents. Based on studies and research men actually suffer more traumatic life events than women on average, however, only 5-6% of men will experience lifetime PTSD. Lifetime PTSD is less prevalent in men than in women. Double the rate of women will experience lifetime PTSD at 10-12%.

PTSD in Women

Women are at a substantially higher risk for PTSD than men. Biology and psychology play a part in why those differences exist. Women are more likely to experience what is considered “high-impact trauma” at a younger age than men.

Women are more likely to experience sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault that leads to their PTSD. It is sexual trauma that puts women at a higher risk for PTSD than men.

Women who suffer from PTSD will also tend to do so longer in comparison to men; on average 4 years to 1. When it comes to seeking help for PTSD women are more likely to seek support for their illness amongst a group. They tend to look for social support.

Symptoms of PTSD Same in Men and Women

The women and men who have this condition often express similar symptoms. Men may display their symptoms in a more aggressive expression where women have shown to retreat internally and avoid the outside world.

Some of the symptoms of someone suffering from PTSD are:

Re-experiencing nightmares, having flashbacks and frightening thoughts that appear real, avoiding people, places and things that may remind a person of the trauma and avoiding feelings and thoughts to cope with the trauma, signs of heighten anger and anxiety expressed physiologically, being hyper-vigilant against threats, difficulty sleeping, experiencing an onslaught of negative feelings, thoughts and judgments, unreasonable blaming of yourself, excessive guilt and a negative perception of yourself in the world, and disinterest in regular every-day activities.

PTSD and Substance Abuse

According to the U.S. National Library of medicine 50-66 % of people who have PTSD simultaneously suffer from addiction. What begins as a means to cope with the symptoms of PTSD, which are distressing, usually turns into a full-blown addiction.

Substances like drugs and alcohol can decrease anxiety in the moment, escape the pain , distract from negative emotions and increase pleasure in the short term. The coping mechanism of substance abuse affects both women and men. There are dual diagnosis treatment centers for people who are suffering from PTSD and substance abuse.

Post traumatic stress disorder, wherever you live in the world and whatever gender you are, can be hard to cope with. Please seek support if you need it and know you are not alone.

This post was written by Dale, a freelance writer specialising in mental health, based in the USA.  He can be found on Twitter https://twitter.com/DaleVernor