Category: Positivity

The Serenity Prayer, Hope and Manifestation

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Whenever I have felt unwell, low, hopeless and like nothing would ever change (often after experiencing a low or high bipolar episode and being unemployed/ feeling very alone), I have found that certain prayers and ideas have comforted me and helped me grow and have hope.

One of these (as well as many Jewish prayers) is the Serenity prayer. Its words give me comfort. They have even been put to a song by India Arie, whose music aims to heal others struggling with difficulties, broken hearts, stress, sadness.

So today I thought I would share it with you. I would say I am quite a spiritual person and I believe that prayers really do manifest if they are meant for you- your heart is listened too. At times when I have felt hopeless, I turned to God (if you don’t believe in God replace with the universe). And even if my prayers didn’t manifest directly at that exact moment- they often do manifest – even if it takes a year or two.

I hope this will help you feel a little comforted or healed, like it always does for me. Serenity is so important, even if it takes a long time to reach

Have hope :

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Living with Uncertainty- Life and Journeys with Mental Illness

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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*Trigger warning- talks about severe depression. Please be careful when reading*

There is so much I want to write on here that I havn’t yet written. Some topics  are too deep or painful for me to address- particularly surrounding certain aspects of previous hospitalisations. I hope one day I can share these with you. However, as a writer, I often get into the flow and just want to spill whats in my heart. So, this blog is about what living with mental illness can mean- its uncertainty and coming to terms with my own brain.

As most of you know, I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder, a mood disorder, as a teenager. I was poorly with depression and a mixed state in hospital when diagnosed and I don’t think fully came to terms with what the diagnosis meant until a few years later.

Being diagnosed so young instilled a lot of fear in me and a lot of avoidance. I decided not to drink alcohol or try drugs- as I didn’t know their effect on my brain and I was already  pretty anti drugs for many reasons. I knew my illness meant that the chemistry in my brain wasnt the same as everyone else without it- I had either too little seretonin causing depression, or too much causing hypomania and manic episodes. I felt often that despite taking mood stabilising medication and anti depressants and tablets to help PMS- that everything was uncertain. I had no idea when the next episode would strike- or if I would  be well enough recognise it.

I am lucky. My illness is very severe when it happens. Yet, I went 10 years without a manic episode or hospitalisation, though I suffered from acute depression that got truly so bad I didn’t want to be here anymore- which is quite a common side effect of being depressed. I was able to be supported at home and with my psychiatrist. I knew it was my depressed thoughts and not me- but this uncertainty  was incredibly stressful to myself and my family. I spent years being depressed and anxious and trying (and failing at times) to function- because my medication wasn’t holding me and my brain correctly.

Despite the uncertainty of so many things- dating, the effect of stressors in my life, work, etc- I am doing well at the moment. However, the uncertainty of the illness makes you worry that you could suddenly get ill again.

I practise a lot of self care- try to get to bed early, eat well, take my medication, tell my family or friends if feeling low etc. However, I always live with the knowledge that my Bipolar may pop up at different times in my life- and important times.

Due to having had this for 13 years- I am used to living with the chronic nature of my mental health condition. It can still be frightening and distressing and down right annoying. Yet, with the right support network and medical team, I know I can stay well for as long as my brain allows me- and I can get well and recover.

Recovery makes you stronger, Living through the pain makes you stronger, Surviving an episode makes you stronger.

You are not alone.

Guest Post by Juno Medical: 9 Things People with Anxiety Disorders Would Rather not Hear You Say

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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Anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and social anxiety disorders. 1 in 12 people suffers from anxiety globally, and women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety.

If you feel overwhelmed by the behaviour of a person with anxiety, try to put yourself in their shoes, and show understanding, not stigma.

For more see www.junomedical.com

 

Full Circle- From Bipolar and Mental Illness to Recovery

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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It was summer 2014. I sat on a sadly impersonal green NHS couch in a quiet side room , my feet dangling over the edge, holding my wordsearch book and counting down the hours until I could leave the Day Unit. I had been feeling exhausted from my new medication, wobbly, teary and lacking in confidence all day and I had just started taking Lithium as a therapeutic medication. As such I had weekly blood tests as the Lithium level in my blood fluctuated between 0.4 and the optimum dose of 0.8, where you start to feel much better.  Lithium has to reach a certain amount in the blood to work on your brain (where it stops or tames mania and mood disorders).  They also had to check it didn’t become toxic in my blood and so weekly tests were needed which were exhausting at the time.

I had just received test results that day informing me that I was feeling a bit fragile because the Lithium was only at 0.4 in my blood. All I wanted to do was hide away from the rest of the therapy group in that little room, peacefully colouring in photos and doing wordsearches to keep me occupied. All I really wanted to do was go home, to where I felt safe and I didn’t have to face the reality of being ill.

This was at the beginning of my recovery journey in 2014. I had left hospital as an in patient after a manic episode and was a voluntary patient at an Acute Day Unit specialising in group therapies. Eventually, I grew to love it and the other people there- although I always wanted to leave faster than the Doctors thought I was ready! I stayed there 3 months in total and some people stay there 2 weeks. I very much needed the healing nature of the therapies even though I didn’t feel it at the time.

I realised these past few weeks how far I have come in my journey- from ill service user needing the support of my psychiatrist, nurses and OTs, to not needing that support currently (on 6 monthly psychiatrist meetings) and helping others in a similar setting in my new job.

I really have come full circle. There may be times when I am ill again in the future or not feeling at my best. I may need more support again. I may get panic attacks or mania or depression. However, for now I am feeling positive and hoping I stay well for a long time on my medication.

Recovery is possible. I am so thankful to all who have helped me on my journey and continue to provide guidance and love.

We are a Top 30 Social Anxiety Blog- Our first Award!

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Today we at Be Ur Own Light woke up to the fantastic news that http://www.feedspot.com have listed us as one of the Top 30 Blogs for Social Anxiety information on the internet!

This is hugely exciting to be considered No 14 on the list, after Google and other important websites.

We are so grateful for this, our first award!

You can see us in the list here:  http://blog.feedspot.com/social_anxiety_blogs/

Thank you FeedSpot!

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Be Ur Own Light is One year old!

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

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I can’t believe my blog, Be Ur Own Light – started on March 1, 2016 is 1 year old today.

My journey with blogging has been so exciting, inspiring and wonderful. It has reached every part of the world and a huge number of countries in UK, Europe, USA, Canada and South America, China, India and other Asian countries, Africa, the Middle East and Australasia. It is such a blessing to be read world wide!

When I began this blog it was a diary to explain and help recover from my anxiety disorder. However, over time it has evolved into so much more!

As I grew in confidence and found other kindred spirits in my writing, I began to write for other organisations and also receive and upload guest posts on mental health topics.

This year I have written blogs for Rethink Mental Illness, Time to Change, Bipolar UK, Self Harm UK, Phobia Support Forum, Counsellors Cafe, Monologues Project and the Bossing It! Academy. I have written 4 blogs for Rethink and have loved collaborating with each charity and organisation. Special mention to Louie Rodrigues at Rethink.

I have also received amazing guest posts from these wonderful charities and writers who shared their hearts in order to battle stigma. Thank you:

– Breathe Life
-Ashley Owens at Generally Anxious
– ISMA stress management
– Stephanie at Making Time for Me
– Adar (PTSD)
– Deepdene Care
– Joshua (bipolar article)
– Michael J Russ
-Richie at Live Your Now
– Megan at the Manic Years
– Quite Great Music psychotherapy
-Lystia Putranto and Karina Ramos
-Eugene Farrell at AXA PPP
-Marcus at Psychsi
– Paradigm Centre San Francisco

I can’t wait to receive more guest submissions over time!

In the past year Be Ur Own Light has grown into a #lighttribe of thousands. On Twitter we are now 2,287 , Facebook 265 of my friends and family, Instagram is 2156,  and we have 127 dedicated WordPress followers. Thank you to each and every one of you for following, commenting, sharing and reading and for helping fight stigma through talking..

This blog has also raised money for Jami mental health charity and I am excited to be starting work for Jami soon.

Its been an incredible year of sharing, writing and breaking down barriers. Its OK to talk about mental illness and mental health. Its alright to feel lost or broken or ill. Seek support for recovery and you can get better. You are not alone.

With gratitude and love on our first birthday 

Guest post by Marcus – 7 Tips to Improve the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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Bipolar disorder (formerly referred to as manic depression) is a condition characterized by mood oscillations- moving between high and low mood. A person suffering from bipolar disorder experiences mood changes and these changes are often erratic and unforeseen.

Symptoms of this disorder regularly change and that is one of the reasons why it can be such a difficult condition to treat and keep a consistent state of mood and activity for sufferers. However, it is possible!

Little things can help and here are 7 tips that might just help make symptoms slightly better:

  1. Make sure you get the Right Amount of Sleep

People who suffer from bipolar disorder often have erratic sleeping patterns. It is believed that one-quarter of these cases sleep too much at night while about a one-third experience difficulty in falling sleep, thereby suffering from insomnia.

As irregular sleeping patterns may precipitate depressive episodes, experts advise setting up an alarm to ensure one gets up at the same time each morning as well as setting fixed hours for sleep in the evening so that the body can adapt to this necessary function.

  1. Consistently take your prescribed Medication

According to Cara Hoepner, a nurse practitioner who also has this condition, discipline is the key when it comes to taking medication prescribed for bipolar disorder. However, she also agrees this can be a difficult task, seeing as some of the medications commonly prescribed (such as Lithium) require constant monitoring via blood tests to ensure they do not become harmful to the patient. Lithium can be toxic in rare cases and so its important to work with a good medical team.

Coupled with the fact that skipping medication will often trigger a relapse, she advises that all patients with this condition should exercise diligence and discipline in taking their meds. Tablet boxes can be very helpful for multiple medications.

  1. Shun Drugs and Alcohol

An expert in bipolar disorder, Bearden, claims that nearly half of patients of bipolar disorder have problems with substance abuse. He also states that this is one of the major reasons why many treatments do not succeed, due to it impeding recovery.

He therefore advises that while alcohol may appear a welcome refuge for bipolar patients in that it temporarily relieves depression, the mere fact that it triggers a depressive state in the brain as well as erratic sleeping patterns and mood oscillations, goes against the purpose. In addition, alcohol and drugs may impair cognitive functioning and hinder chances of  recovery- they exacerbate high and low episodes in the condition.

  1. Invest in Therapy

One of the best ways to improve bipolar disorder symptoms is to invest in therapy, including talking therapies, CBT, art therapy and more. While it may seem unappealing to many patients, therapy actually goes a long way in improving their chances of recovery.

Cognitive behavioural therapy helps patients understand and interpret events and thoughts, thereby enabling them to get back to their normal routine. There are other therapies which assist recovery and maintaining stable relationships .

  1. Learn the Triggers

Learning the triggers of bipolar disorder may help the patient nip the episode in the bud by actually dealing with these triggers before they develop into a full-blown episode.

Some of the triggers that make people unwell include sleep deprivation, social isolation and stressors eg divorce, death, change or job or having a baby . Other major changes in your life may also trigger depressive or manic tendencies, especially if they disrupt your routine so be careful to look after yourself in times of high stress.

  1. Learn the Side Effects

The most common side effect of taking Lithium or other anti psychotic medication  is metabolic syndrome, a side effect that majorly involves the impairment in the functionality of the kidney and the pancreas. A spectrum of effects such as high cholesterol, insulin resistance and weight gain would ensue, and this is where you need to deal with the to keep optimal health. A healthy diet and exercise is always important.

  1. Connect with Friends and Family (Support Network)

If you have a good support network, its so important to share how you are feeling with    close relations or best friends. By discussing your problems with those you trust, they hopefully will provide the emotional support needed to get through difficulties and help recommend further treatment or come with you to the Doctor.

In a nut shell, do not sit back and let your mood disorder take over without help. Speak out and let your friends and family help you out. In some families, there is a stigma so please do be careful as to who you let in when you are unwell.

Living with bipolar disorder is not an easy experience. However, by understanding how to deal with the symptoms, you can certainly improve your symptoms to keep you healthy and well. Read widely and remember that however debilitating episodes can be, Bipolar can be managed on medication and with therapy and. support. You are not alone.

Marcus regularly blogs at psysci, a psychology, science blog that examines the latest research and explains how findings can impact and improve people’s lives

Therapy Tales Part One.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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My therapy journey began at just 15 years old- when I went to see the school counsellor for talking therapy due to suffering my first anxious and depressive episode (before I was diagnosed as bipolar).

Since then- 13 years later, I have tried many different kinds of therapies to help heal me from my anxiety disorder and help manage my bipolar disorder. Therapy still has a stigma, which is wrong,- but it is vital to the healing and recovery of mental illness and general healing from stressful life events eg deaths, divorce, moving house, illness.

I have done many forms of therapy, starting off with talking therapies- where you talk to your therapist about whats going on in your life (and sometimes they psychoanalyse in order to help you). I then did 3 lots of Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT). This is where you unpack your negative thoughts and assumptions that cause your illness in thought records, where you learn to challenge thoughts and change behaviour. However, for me, CBT was frustrating. I felt like I couldn’t fully apply it and it didn’t click with my brain.

I felt that the anxiety and panic I was dealing with was very much in the subconscious- and so the CBT could not eradicate the emotional, deep response that had formed within me to certain situations. It was then I began to realise the power of exposure therapy- which is essentially, exposing yourself to your feared situation slowly, with support. The more I went out, the more people I saw and the more I did, the anxiety began to lessen. It boosted my self esteem too to know I could overcome my fears. It is something that has to be practised and you have to be kind to yourself too and in the right head space for it to work,.

Of course, therapy works in conjunction with medications and it is also vital to make sure you like your therapist and have a good relationship with them. If you dread seeing them and you aren’t getting much from it, they are likely to be the wrong therapist for you.

I have done many other therapies: art therapy (which I loved and recommend hugely if you enjoy it), meditation and deep breathing (which I still do and which really helps my anxiety) and of course the unique therapy that friends and family bring. There are more therapies out there including ACT and its always worth googling therapies.

Ultimately, don’t be too scared about sharing with a therapist. They are trained professionals, have seen it before and they are there to support you. It is also very much trial and error. Even though CBT wasn’t for me, I found other therapies which have worked.

Just be aware that NHS therapy waiting lists are months long, so if you have the money to get private care, do.

I have worked with both psychologists, psychotherapists, occupational therapists (during a period of group therapy) and of course psychiatrists in order to keep well. It is very much a collaborative effort and now I am much better, I can deal with it with my support network (with my psychiatrist in the background)

I hope you find the right course of therapy for you and know you can heal from whatever stresses you are dealing with.

The Bossing It! Academy- a Journey of Self Discovery and Recovery.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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I first discovered the Bossing It Academy when one of its founders, Holly Matthews started following me and contacted me on Twitter. Holly and her friend  Caroline Hardwick (a life coach and psychologist), were keen to share their message of positivity, healing, law of attraction, mindfulness and above all, self esteem and discovery. So, my connection with the Bossing it Academy began.

So what is the Academy and how does it work?

The Academy is a structured plan designed to boost confidence, self awareness, self esteem and to make positive changes in its clients lives. It inspires its clients to achieve their dreams positively, using the best that modern psychology has to offer. It is a 6 week self development academy, using the Law of Attraction, positive affirmations, ebooks and audios to help people make positive changes into their life plan.

As Holly and Caroline state,

‘ In this academy you will learn how to attract positivity into your life and swerve around the challenges that spring up. You will be guided to create the life you have always wanted and taught how feel grateful and happy, regardless of where you are currently at.’

The notions of gratitude and positive psychology are key to the success of the Academy. It helps those who feel overwhelmed by modern life and stresses eg mental health issues or who are stuck in a life rut. It teaches its clients that they can achieve anything they want, regardless of circumstance.

When you sign up to the Academy you get the following included:

-Weekly webinars, with your theme for the week.

– Daily audios, to get you in the right frame of mind for the day.

– A techniques e-book, with techniques you can use to stay focused and positive during and after the 6 weeks.

– The bossing it! ebook, which gives you everything you have learnt in a visual format.

– Weekly short videos, with themes to help keep your mindset on track

–  A guide to Affirmations and Affirmation examples

–  The ‘Oh sh*t’ audios for those times of high stress

–  Your bossing it! workbook, with a journal to fill out daily

–  Certificate on completion of the full 6 weeks

–  Access to a private Facebook community, where you get extra content and live coaching

–  A tried and tested 6 week programme that is used by celebrities and influencers

The key to the success of the Academy is that Holly and Caroline are incredibly hands on with their clients. They have a unique facebook group offering support to its clients, with both being reachable my phone and online for guidance and appointments. They are dedicated, kind professionals whose ability to guide you through your process of positive discovery is second to none. Holly also makes Facebook Live videos with healing, guided meditations that focus on positivity and achieving. I sat in on the Calm and Clarity meditation and found it to be incredibly calming and healing, focusing on mindfulness and breathing. Holly is very personable and a true professional at what she does.

The group of Academy clients are hugely supportive and kind to one another. This helps as part of the therapeutic process, as clients feel part of a positive, recovery focused group and assist one another through the 6 week process of work books, videos, affirmations and all that encompasses the Academy.

In the group, I asked fellow clients to share their stories of how the Academy has changed their lives and here are some quotes from their stories. These are real testimonials from clients working on the Academy right now, whose lives have changed for the better. (names changed):

‘I started the academy as I had no self confidence ,I had body dysmorphia and other mental health issues. I hated myself so much thatIi didnt understand why my husband was with me and I argued with him over women he works with. I had visions of things happening in my head ,bad things like crashes, him cheating etc to the point where I didn’t want to leave the house and If I did leave I’d never go alone. I spent all my time with my children and  felt guilty having me time

Once I started the academy I started on my self confidence doing the affirmations, Work book and audios I soon stopped the negative and just used to think positively until I believed and then I didn’t worry as much.  I’ve now started my own business with a positive vibe- I would never have thought it could work before as  everything was just an idea! I’ve been going out on my own and I’ve been putting time aside for me! My goals.are high and I know I can reach them’    (‘Mary’)

  ‘Since being a part of the academy my entire thought process has changed and after suffering with horrendous OCD, since being 8 years old, I can now say I’m 80% better than I’ve ever been in the short space of time being a part of this amazing community. I see beauty everywhere like a cloud has been lifted and look forward to life instead of just plodding on. (‘Miranda’)

‘I  know I was guided to the academy, I was at a point in my life where I was starting to doubt if anything would get better. I have great family, friends and a fantastic relationship but everything else seemed to be stagnant. I was really struggling to stay positive. I read book after book on the law of attraction but nothing seemed to click with me. Then the academy came along and it’s like a light bulb. The care and attention Holly and Caroline give to us all is amazing, they have helped me understand how I can make my life great. It’s like coming out of the fog and seeing clear.’ (‘Claudia’)

‘I  began the incredible bossing it academy after suffering a very nasty panic attack on the 1st of December 2016. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years and spent a lot of my childhood living with a dad who suffered from very severe mental illness which impacted on my life.  My mum had been following Holly on Instagram for awhile and always had remarked on what an incredible, beautiful, positive lady she was and after my panic attack emailed her without me knowing to ask for her help and guidance as she too was struggling to know how to help me…. However, very quickly my dark, stormy world began to be filled with sunshine and with the support, guidance, tools, care and love that the bossing it academy provides my world has been transformed.’ (Lisa)

Each of these clients had genuine transformations in their lives in just 6 weeks due to the professionalism and warmth that Holly and Caroline provide.

For more on the Bossing it Academy and how you can get involved, visit http://www.iamhollymatthews.com/bossingit/

Twitter:  @imbossingit     and  @hollymatthews

On Meditation for Relaxation and Healing.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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I write this blog post from a very healing place where a relative of mine lives- the Cotswolds, Gloucestershire in England. It is a place of nature, green fields, hills, farms, animals and I associate its beauty with rest and relaxation. (There are shops and cinemas here too though- I think I would miss that!). The Cotswolds are a great place for me to rest and recharge my batteries. I find that the pace of life is slower and quieter here and when I have been working hard and need a break, I visit here and come back rejuvenated.

So, this blog is about meditation, a form of relaxation and clarity of mind that I have found healing.

I discovered meditation a few years ago but didn’t really start doing it until about a year ago, when I downloaded a free app called Headspace. This allowed me to have 10 free sessions of 15 minute meditations. At the time, I was suffering from work anxiety and related panic attacks. I found that listening to a guided meditation, recorded so I could play it when lying on my bed before sleep,  very helpful and relaxing. It centred me and made me focus less on my anxious thoughts and worries about my career and illness. I just had to breathe and relax for that minute, whatever else was happening outside of it.

Meditation is a guided visualisation, focusing on the breath and slowing down breathing for relaxation and clarity, through inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. It also teaches you how to relax muscles in your body, if you choose a deep muscle relaxation meditation. The person guiding you may tell you to breathe in deeply then out slowly, clench or unclench muscles and focus on the breath and the present mindfully, in order to relax you and sharpen the senses.

Meditation is not about falling asleep, although I often do it before I go to sleep. It is about centring yourself in your present reality, clearing your mind and worries through focusing on deep breathing and /or guided visualisations or affirmations. This eventually relaxes your subconscious and keeps you grounded in the present, linked to mindfulness.

I recently listened to a fantastic meditation which included positive life affirmations ‘You can do it’, ‘You are strong and confident’, whilst breathing in and out. This was by the amazing practitioner Holly Matthews, at the Bossing It Academy. I listened to this twice and did the exercises the night before a job interview. It really works on the subconscious level and helps you feel strong and confident!

I first was introduced to meditation as a healing therapy through regular Day unit relaxation sessions when I came out of hospital. We were taken through a guided visualisation of a relaxed place eg a beach or a starry night and followed our breathing and relaxation of muscles. I then bought CDs of relaxation music to listen to at home. When I was a teenager, I had previously listened to similar relaxation music and I find it can be incredibly healing if suffering from anxiety disorders in particulat as it focuses you and permits relaxation.

Meditation is an ancient Eastern art, practised by Buddhists and others in Asia, which has come to us in the West. It is so unbelievably powerful at managing stress and anxiety and I would thoroughly recommend doing it, with a recording of  professional guiding you through the process or listening to relaxation music. There are even meditation classes out there you can take as well as music on Youtube and other websites!

So remember to breathe, ground yourself in your present, listen to the sounds around you but bring it back to your breathing and your current reality. I have found meditation helps heal me and I hope it helps you too.