psychotherapy – Page 24

Trigger warning: discussion of suicidal thoughts.

For more from Joshua please email: rebuildrepaircredit@gmail.com

Hello! My name is Joshua, I am one of seven. 1 in 7 people have bipolar disorder. I have noticed that mental disorders are often overlooked or misunderstood. So here I am, stepping up to talk about it in the open.

I would not be here today to write this if had I not gone through my bipolar epiisodes and become stronger. I will not lie and say I have conquered it fully, but I am able to tame the beast . So, I hope I can help you. Are you struggling with any mental disorder? I love you and know you can fight it. It will not be easy, but you can do it.

The devastating effects of bipolar depression aka the main problem

First, a topic frequently avoided is suicidal thoughts.

Have you ever felt suicidal? I sure have. I wanted to die so badly at such a young age. I broke down crying on the floor after I almost attempted to. Welcome to severe bipolar depression. A very difficult thing to cope with.

Do you still feel suicidal?

Honestly, I think everyone has these feelings. But bipolar and depressed people feel them seep into their hearts and minds much stronger. Suicidal thoughts are a nasty beast, attacking people at their weakest. Mental illness can break even the strongest people- if you are going through it right now, you are so strong!

Do you still feel this way today?

So to answer your question honestly, I do still have thoughts sometimes. Will I ever end my life ? No! I will promise you all that today. Promise me today that you will never do it as well. Stay with us, hang in there, please. You must fight with everything, to live. You are a wonderful person and you deserve to live as long as possible! So am I! Fight with me!

One in seven? That is a lot of people! Do I know any people with bipolar disorder?

Chances are very high that you know someone dealing with bipolar. Lots of famous people are affected today and also in the past.

‘Never, never, never give up’. – Winston Churchill. I have a poster that I like with a frog being eaten by a pelican. Except the frog is choking out the pelican and not allowing himself to be eaten! Be the frog. So, never ever give up. To succeed in life this is demanded.
My favourite quote is ‘If you’re going through hell, keep going.’ – Winston Churchill

Fight on and continue!

When did you realize you had bipolar disorder?

First, from an early age, I realised I was different. Not in a bad way, but unique. I would say around 7-9 years old, I was already in counselling. 7-9 years old was one of my worst times for sure and I started experiencing bad symptoms aged 13. Mental disorders often begin in puberty due to hormonal changes. Hormones plus bipolar do not mix well. Controlling emotion is a big part of conquering bipolar.

Do you take medicines now? They work well for some. Do they help you?

I have tried many different medications. My team tried their best to see what would work with my body chemistry. Yet, there was a big problem. Every single medication had terrible side effects. The killer for me was the massive migraines.

During high school, trying to function felt downright impossible! I was so depressed I could not get up in the morning. The medications I tried were challenging for me and didn’t always agree with my body.

Tell me a little more about you. What makes up the mind of a person with bipolar disorder?

I am far from perfect, but on a great path. So I am not here to brag. Everyone is intelligent in their own ways. I have always been intelligent as well. So my point is that you should do your best to not let this hold you back. It does not have to be a disadvantage. Also, many people with bipolar are highly intelligent.

I have always loved people. So I always try to see the best in them. I am a triple full-time dad and entrepreneur. I have started multiple successful businesses. Currently, I run websites. RebuildRepairCredit.com is a free credit repair clinic I started. Every single day I better myself. Now I try to better the world around me every day as well. You too can do the same. Improving yourself is the best investment you can make.

What else is difficult when you have bipolar disorder?

There are manic times. More recently I have learned to harness these gifts. However, if you are not careful these gifts, they can be challenging.. They were most of my life. Manic episodes can leave you awake for days or weeks and longer! Have you ever been awake that long? Sleep deprivation is torture. Be kind to these people! As I said before I have been awake nearly a month straight with 5-minute naps. This was a manic episode worsened by the wrong medication. Antidepressant only without mood-stabilisers can do this! Finally, in manic periods someone with bipolar may do things they would not normally do.

Final tips and advice on getting through bipolar

First, be sure to seek professional help when needed. These can be lifesavers. Sometimes a professional ear can break down an issue and make it easier to deal with. Keep your chin up! So you will break, you will fall. This does not mean you have failed! Also, you are stronger than your weakest moment. So recover, stronger each time. Fight back!

To conclude, if you or someone you know has bipolar disorder, be kind. Nobody really knows the struggles another is facing. You may feel broken. Know you are loved and can overcome this. It will take time and lots of effort, but it is worth it. Finally, know you can still lead a full and productive life. Fight past your disabilities whatever they are. Because you are more powerful than your minor shortcomings.

This weekend we have a guest post from my blogger friend Stephanie, who opens up about how she sought help through psychotherapy many years after a difficult relationship. Thank you Stephanie!

Hi, my name is Stephanie and I blog over at Making Time For Me https://cmugrad817.wordpress.com

It has been about 14 months now since I first sought out help. After a tough day with my husband, I realized that I could no longer pretend like I was handling this all on my own. Once and for all, I knew that I needed to seriously find a therapist that I could go and talk to.

6 years ago, my ex-husband cheated on me. As a result, we got divorced and now he is married to that same woman. I am remarried and we are all very happy. Though the happiness, never made the pain go away.

I was worried all day every day. Not that my husband was going to cheat on me, but that things would change. That things would be beyond my control and my world would get flipped upside down. As a result whenever anything in our plans shifted, I would flip out. I mean the smallest thing, like having to wait until later in a day to go and pick up our kids. Very minor details would set me off.

After 5 years of trying to work through all of my feelings on my own I knew I needed to seek help from a therapist. With the help of my friends and family, I had kept moving through life, but I hadn’t learned how to move past the hurt. My husband has been right by my side helping me through this whole thing, supporting me, listening to me and most importantly encouraging me.

I reached out to a friend who was a therapist and asked for a referral. Making the phone call to the office for an appointment, was one of the scariest moments in my life. Having to say out loud that I needed help, what I thought that I needed help with and giving up a lot of personal information in a most impersonal way was something new to me.

When I went to the therapist, Hillaty, for the first time I cried for nearly the whole hour. I explained to her about my ex and our divorce and how I was still carrying a lot of that pain with me. I was really having a lot of traumatic feelings. Then I was diagnosed with chronic adjustment disorder.

Adjustment Disorder is a group of symptoms, such as stress, feeling sad or hopeless, and physical symptoms that can occur after you go through a stressful life event. The symptoms occur because you are having a hard time coping. Your reaction is stronger than expected for the type of event that occurred. (taken from google) It is chronic because it continually happens much longer than one would anticipate, 5 to 6 years after the stressful event in my life happened. I had made it to a place in my life where my brain couldn’t adjust to the natural shifts that my life brought up every day.

When I started seeing Hillary, I was going to see her once a week for a little while. I needed to talk to her all the time. She would give me homework and we spent the first few sessions talking mostly about my ex and our divorce. Slowly we transitioned into once every two weeks. Now we were able to talk about what was happening in my everyday life. She made it OK for me to cry, scream and even throw things.

Hillary gave me a safe place to speak my mind, to feel all my feelings and because she was completely impartial to the situation she gave me some perspective that no one else was capable of. I walk into her office, sit down on the couch (so cliché) and we just start talking. When it started, she would ask cue questions that would get me started. Now, she simply asks me how things have been going since the last time we saw each other and that can very easily lead to an hour of conversation.

Hillary , as my therapist, watched my body language and listened to the tone of my voice. These are clues to her that I myself cannot see- subconscious cues. She often asks me,’ tell me how you are feeling, I noticed that you just crossed your arms, or made a pushing motion with your hands’. Then we talk about what I am keeping inside or what it is that I am trying to get rid of. It really is therapeutic.

It took at least 6 months until I was no longer feeling all of that pain inside. I had talked through it, made sense of it and most importantly accepted it. Now, I am by no means 100% better. I still have problems sometimes when the plans change and schedules shift, but it is not nearly as rough as it used to be. I used to try to shoulder all of the blame, all of the burden for everything, all the time. I don’t do that anymore. I know that I am not in control of everything and ultimately, that is OK.