Tag: Festive Season

Mental Health Experts Shine A Light On The Struggle Of Infertility Over The Festive Season by Experts at JAAQ

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

(image: Victoria Volkova Unsplash)

For many people, Christmas time/festive season is a time for happiness, family and bringing people together; however, one in seven UK couples face a hidden grief : infertility..

Research reveals that nearly three in four people battling infertility are burdened with feelings of failure, ​​adding to the hidden grief many already feel during the holidays. In response, mental health platform JAAQ wants to spread awareness around why infertility can be harder during the holidays and what we can do to approach the topic sensitively.

Male fertility coach explains why infertility feels heavier during the festive season 

Male fertility coach, Shaun Greenway, who was diagnosed with azoospermia, explains on JAAQ why the holiday season is so difficult: “We got a pregnancy announcement at Christmas, and it took me right back to that place. That hurt. That weird feeling of happiness mixed in with jealousy and anger and pain.”  Even after he had twins via donor sperm, the emotions didn’t disappear “It will always be part of me. It’s always there.”

Shaun’s experience highlights a truth many people face – that infertility doesn’t end with treatment or conception; it changes shape, often resurfacing during emotionally charged times like Christmas, a time filled with pregnancy announcements and marketing imagery filled with children and togetherness.

Founder and CEO of Fertility Help Hub, Eloise Edington, knows that pain well. Supporting her devastated husband while navigating her own grief, she recalls when speaking on JAAQ: “Supporting my devastated husband while also equally grieving myself and knowing that we would never have a biological child together meant we were both drowning in separate pain.”

She’s open about the reality of those moments: “Lots of crying, lots of eating chocolate, wine, being together. Not pretty. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just real.” For many couples facing infertility, this is the reality of Christmas – raw, difficult and far from the idealised celebrations we often imagine. 

(image: Priscilla Prisceez, Unsplash)

4 dos and don’ts for talking about infertility this holiday season

To make the festive season a little easier, mental health platform JAAQ has revealed four essential dos and don’ts for talking about infertility this Christmas – whether you’re facing it yourself, or want to approach the topic sensitively with others. 

Dos:

  • 1. Think before you ask sensitive questions about pregnancy or starting a family and wait for them to bring it up themselves naturally in conversation.
  • 2. Share with someone you trust – If you are struggling, consider speaking openly with someone, whether in person or by message, which can help you to process your emotions. For Shaun, he shared: “Once I did start opening up, that’s when everything got a bit lighter.” Elouise suggests, “Find community, find support, speak to other people who are going through similar struggles. How are they dealing with it? What are they doing to keep the romance alive or to get through this tricky time and enjoy life?”
  • 3. Encourage without imposing your opinion. If someone shares something personal, listen fully before responding. Let them know you are there for them and ask how you can support them, rather than assuming what they need. 
  • 4. Create a Christmas/ festive routine that works for you. If traditional celebrations feel overwhelming, permit yourself to do things differently. You might skip the big dinner, start a new ritual like a quiet morning walk with coffee, or find other ways to mark the day that feel manageable.  

Dont’s:

  • Don’t ask personal questions about pregnancy or family plans, especially in social settings
  • Don’t offer unsolicited advice like ‘just relax’ or ‘it’ll happen when it’s meant to’
  • Don’t probe with follow-up questions if someone opens up; listen supportively rather than asking questions that might cause unintentional distress
  • Don’t pressure someone to participate in every activity or ‘get into the spirit.’ Sometimes the kindest thing is simply allowing them to step away 

(image: Pereanu Sebastian: Unsplash)

About JAAQ

JAAQ – which stands for Just Ask A Question is a pioneering mental health platform designed to make credible, compassionate support accessible to everyone – especially in the workplace. The platform provides engaging, clinically backed content by connecting users with experts and individuals with lived experience, who answer mental health questions anonymously. This unique, interactive approach empowers people to explore their mental wellbeing in a safe, stigma-free environment.

Bipolar And Seasonal Self Care: Overspending This Festive Season by Bipolar UK

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

(image: Jeshoots.com: Unsplash)

Christmas can be a stressful time for many, but for those living with bipolar disorder, it is a time of year when symptoms may be exacerbated, and overspending can become an issue.

According to national charity, Bipolar UK, the increased pressure to attend social occasions alongside material pressures around Christmas/Chanukah can trigger manic or depressive episodes in some living with the condition, resulting in an increased risk of overspending.

Dr Thomas Richardson, clinical psychologist at Southampton University, who has lived experience of bipolar and has researched the topic of bipolar and overspending, “impulsive or compulsive spending means spending more money than you planned and regretting it.”

He added: “There’s definitely something about that sense of urgency that I must buy it right away – the feeling like you can’t stop yourself and it’s a little bit out of your own control.

“There is a lot of guilt and feelings of being a burden associated with bipolar, and we know that people living with the condition can sometimes feel that excessive generosity is a way to pay back loved ones for their support. Overspending can also feel like a comfort at the time.

“Christmas is a time where we’re surrounded by adverts encouraging us to buy things and there’s the additional pressure of feeling the need to socialise. All of this can potentially be very triggering for some people living with bipolar.”

April Kelley, an award-winning actress and producer living with bipolar, has a history of overspending. She said: “My biggest achilles heel is spending money on others, and I think that’s a combination of buying love and the rush that buying things for others gives me.

“Last Christmas I bought flights from my home in LA back to the UK at the last minute to surprise my parents, but I’ve also been known to buy an entire bar’s worth of Jager bombs for everyone.

“I now use digital banking as a way to help me budget by splitting money into pots and my parents are really supportive and help me to keep control of my finances.”

Dr Richardson says there are several ways you can protect yourself from overspending at Christmas and beyond. He says that digital banking is good to helo you budget, move money into different pots and set spending limits. He advises making a list of what you really need to buy, versus what you’d like to buy, unsubscribe from marketing emails if it helps you, be mindful of who you follow on social media, make gifts instead of buying and return unnecessary things you have bought.

(image: Bipolar UK)

Simon Kitchen, CEO of Bipolar UK, said: “Advance Choice Documents (also known as ACDs) are a great way to ensure your voice is heard during a period of relapse.

“The idea is to write an ACD with your loved one or doctor when you’re well to put into action if you recognise you’re experiencing the early signs of an episode. You can include a line to protect yourself from overspending – planning to have limited access to a credit card or only using a basic mobile phone without internet, for example.

“This is why it is so important to monitor your mood so you can be aware of the warning signs if you are heading towards a relapse when you might be more prone to overspending. Many people in our community say using our free Mood Tracker app is a simple way to notice early symptoms.

“Finally – please don’t feel that you’re alone. We provide 1-1 peer support, support groups, a 24/7 eCommunity that is open 24/7, 365 days a year, even on Christmas Day, and invaluable resources on managing common seasonal triggers of bipolar.”

(Image of Simon Kitchen: Bipolar UK)

Click to access Bipolar UK’s Mood Tracker app, peer support groups and eCommunity.

Watch Bipolar UK’s webinar about ‘bipolar and overspending’ here

With thanks to Bipolar UK for these excellent tips this festive season.

Christmas For CAMHS 2024- Supporting Children and Adolescents On UK Mental Health Wards Every Festive Season.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

(image: Christmas For CAMHS)

A few years ago, I was delighted to discover this incredible charity- Christmas for CAMHS through a post by its founder Ro Bevan. This charity means a lot to me because 20 years ago this festive season, I was a very unwell 16 year old on a NHS child and adolescent (CAMHS) in patient psychiatric ward in the Priory North London, struggling with a bipolar mixed episode. I had psychosis and hadn’t yet been diagnosed with bipolar. Although I am Jewish and don’t celebrate Christmas, I remember that the ward gave us small presents and that other children/adolescents wrote me lovely messages of kindness and hope wrapped up in seasons greetings. Being away from home and especially during the festive season is filled with loneliness and sadness, especially if you are in hospital. In 2004, Christmas for CAMHS did not exist but their work now is vital.

So who are this amazing charity?

Christmas for CAMHS is a small charity who gives gifts and goodies to children and young people in  hospital for their mental health over the festive season. This is our 9th year of giving gifts to young people in CAMHS (children and adolescent mental health services) inpatient units across the UK and this year we’re giving over 1300 gifts!

Christmas For CAMHS was originally set up because Dr Ro Bevan saw a huge disparity in the way CAMHS units were treated over the festive period compared to other NHS services for children and young people.

In 2015 Ro was working in a children’s hospital for those with a physical illness. That Christmas the children’s hospital had tons of presents donated, mostly from corporate donors – so many presents that there was enough leftover for patients’ birthdays until June of the following year! A year later, she was working in child and adolescent mental health and, in stark contrast, they had no presents donated at all. The patients had one present each, chosen by the therapy team and paid for by the ward – scrimped and saved from the NHS budget that is meant to cover therapeutic activities and other expenses. 

Ro posted about the inequality on Facebook and before she knew it, her post had gone viral with 1,032 shares and so many supportive comments. It inspired her to start Christmas For CAMHS the following year to support these children and young people who would otherwise be forgotten by the generous public.

When the charity first began in 2016, they set up a simple fundraiser online which raised £1000 and managed to send around 300 gifts to young people in units that year. Since then, they have grown to be able to reach every CAMHS unit in the UK, but still work in a pretty similar way! There is the online fundraising page running each year where people donate either as individuals or on behalf of fundraisers they have run in their local community or with work colleagues. Additionally, there are corporate donations and people setting up their own fundraising pages to do amazing challenges to raise money (a couple of years ago one fundraiser ran a marathon around a Christmas tree!).

There is also a wish list where people can donate specific chosen gifts for children who may be feeling very alone.

(image: Christmas For CAMHS)

The charity reaches out to every CAMHS unit in the UK to ask the staff that work there how many young people they might have over Christmas. They also ask them what they think their young people might like, picking from a list of tried and tested categories, and the age range of their young people. The elves then work night and day to ensure that gifts are bought that align with what each CAMHS unit has requested and that are safe for young people in hospital for their mental health to be given. 

Once the gifts have arrived there is a major ‘packing weekend, in Bath. During this, volunteers come and help pack up massive boxes with all the assigned gifts, some Christmas decorations, some activities (such as colour in paper chains or blank cards), a Wellbeing Advent Calendar, some fidget toys and an extra ‘ward gift’ for each ward to enjoy together. We don’t wrap the gifts, so the wards can check them, but we do provide wrapping paper and sticky gift tags. We also provide a bigger gift, when requested, for young people on the wards who may not receive a gift from anyone else this Christmas, such as young people who have no family support. The gifts then get delivered to each CAMHS ward ahead of Christmas day.

This year, the charity is also sending wards some paper chain ‘strips’ with cheesy cracker jokes written on them, made by members of the public and assembled by young people on the wards, providing a tangible reminder that we are all still connected despite what the young people are going through. Young people loved these last year. 

It is always so nice to receive messages from young people about the gifts that they’ve given. A young person recently told the charity:

“The gift made me smile so much. I’d had such a bad day and it was an utterly terrifying time in my life – I was about to turn 18 and had never felt more alone. It was so weird but lovely to think that people who didn’t know me cared enough to make me and my friends feel special and connected. You really do such an amazing job. You’re so kind, thank you.”

The whole team and all donors are thinking of every child and young person who will be spending the Christmas period in hospital due to their mental health, which is exactly why Christmas at CAMHS does what it does – we want them to know that we’re thinking of them and that lots and lots of people are holding them in their hearts. 

To donate to Christmas for CAMHS:

Making Christmas Magic for Young People in CAMHS Units (2024)

or text CAMHSGIFT followed by your donation amount to 70470 to give that amount (e.g. CAMHSGIFT10).

For the rest of Christmas for CAMHS links:

Christmas For CAMHS | Twitter, Facebook | Linktree

Festive Greetings from Eleanor, Founder Of Be Ur Own Light.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

(image: Andrew Nevins- Pexels)

I can’t believe its almost Christmas and the end of 2023! It has been at times a challenging year but I do love the holidays, even though we don’t celebrate Christmas. But its nice to come together as we’re all off work here in the UK and have family time, food and watch movies.

My favourite thing about this season are the cosy, twinkly lights and light trails. We’ll be doing one this year at a stately home. Lighting up the darkness feels appropriate this time of year.

I know that Christmas is not easy for everyone and many struggle with their mental health and relationships this time of year. Please know you are not alone and reach out to Samaritans 116 123 if you need to talk. There is also the Shout text service.

I hope your festive season will be merry and bright… and if it isn’t please tell someone and seek help if you can. You are never alone.

Love,

Eleanor (and family`)

x

Developing a Newfound Confidence in Yourself this Festive Season.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment


(image: Pexels)


It’s okay to need to spend some time renewing your confidence now and then. Confidence is often seen as a brick wall that stands the test of time once it’s built, but often, it’s more like a flame, one that must be fed, and felt with quality fuel, in order to keep going. Even the strongest and most audacious people on Earth can be knocked back by life, and they regularly are. This is humbling, because it shows that no matter how good things are, we can always find struggle. However, this also shows an opposite and no less important truth, that no matter how bad things are, we can always improve and come to love ourselves again, building that confidence necessary to moving forward.

This is the essential principle shown by the famous symbol of the yin-yang, the white has a little black in it, and the black a little white. So – if confidence is more of a fire to be kindled than a wall to be built, how can we re-fuel it? Let’s consider that, below:

Finding New Opportunities

It can be worthwhile to find new opportunities in life, even if they’re self-directed, and even if they come straight after an intense experience such as a life setback, trauma, bereavement or a divorce settlement. Taking stock of what your new situation means, how you can use it to your benefit, and what exactly it is that you want can help you move forward with confidence, resilience and a patience that not everyone has. The primary thought to keep in mind is this – new opportunities are always there. You just have to dig for them.

Going For Gold

Going for gold is important, once you have your opportunities or ideals prioritised. It might be that you invest completely in a new hobby or practice, or that you do something you’ve always wanted- a dream, travelling to a new place or something you’d never do normally such as getting a new tattoo. Going for gold- making things a reality , can also help you feel expansive, generating your purpose from one day to the next. No matter if this is getting back in the dating scene, trying to go for a new job, or finally enjoying your freedom, don’t forget to go for gold.

Being Unapologetic

It’s important to be unapologetic about who you are. Why is this? Well, what do you have to apologise for? Your sense of style? Your sexual orientation? Your dreams and desires? Absolutely not, and actually, you should take complete and total pride in these things. This is what makes you, even if, as an individual, you are more than these designated labels. Being unapologetic helps you realize that you have dignity too, and that you’re worth expressing it. Having that mindset can help you curate your best attitude, which may or may not help you become a better, less bitter and more empathetic person. We all need to learn this lesson in life. It’s good to learn it now.

We hope you can develop that newfound confidence in yourself you truly deserve.


This article was written by a freelance writer

Winter Cosiness: A very happy Festive Season to you!

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 13 Comments

(image: Pinterest)

Thank you for supporting Be Ur Own Light blog and our mental health mission this year. We wish you all- from Rob and I, a wonderful festive season- whether you celebrate Christmas or Chanukah (like us), whether you get together with family and friends for magical, cosy nights, good TV and a glass of wine, I hope you enjoy it!

We will be spending time with family and friends, lighting our menorahs and eating doughnuts. This year we will be visiting my in laws, which should be lovely.

If you need help because you are struggling with your mental health, the Samaritans line is always open for free,non judgemental listening: 116 123 is the UK number.

Wishing you all a wonderful break, a cosy, happy, safe and peaceful one,

Love.

Eleanor x

 

Have a wonderful Christmas and Festive Season!

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

christmaslight

(image: dhgate.com)

So today is Christmas Eve. Despite being Jewish and not celebrating the holiday, here in England it is always a lovely, cosy family time, watching movies (like Love Actually) and curling up in blankets. We don’t have a tree or celebrate the religious aspect (we had Chanukah a few weeks back) so for us its just a time to be with family and eat good food/ relax.

However, I know many of my readers do celebrate Christmas and for you this can also be a hard time of year with your mental health.

I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and wonderful festive season/ New Year and please do reach out for help and support if you are struggling.

I am looking forward to playing Harry Potter Cluedo with family and spending time with those I love (and trying not to eat too much chocolate)

So to all celebrating have a very happy Christmas from me Eleanor, founder of this blog x x

If you  need to talk to someone urgently about your problems/ mental health here is the Samaritans (UK) Helpline: 116 123

Reflections on 2017 and Festive Greetings from Be Ur Own Light!

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

seasons
(image: Harrison Greetings)

Here at Be Ur Own Light, it has been a brilliant year in terms of writing, getting the message out there, engagement and gaining a new following. As well as regular blog posts on her life with bipolar and anxiety, I (founder, Eleanor) have written this year for other charities and media outlets. These include : Mind, Rethink Mental Illness, Time to Change,  Self Harm UK/ Youthscape, Brighton Wellness Centre, The Counselling Directory, Counsellors Cafe, ISMA, World Union of Jewish Students, Equilibrium Magazine and Happiful Magazine. There are upcoming collaborations to be published soon so stay tuned! I also hope to publish more for the Huffington Post in the new year.

The blog has grown into a strong following and particularly we have seen the growth from fellow bloggers on WordPress and Twitter which has been brilliant! Not to mention my loyal following on Facebook and other social media (and email). I have loved doing some Facebook Live videos and discussions too. Thank you everyone who regularly reads, comments, shares and for the awards given this year from fellow bloggers (Liebster, Sunshine, Mystery and of course being a Top 30 Social Anxiety blog and Top 100 Bipolar blog by Feedspot.com). I have also entered the blog into the UK Blog Awards and thank you to everyone who has voted so far.

I have hosted many incredible guest bloggers this year and thank you to all who have submitted high quality and excellent articles (in brackets is what they wrote about:

Lucy Boyle (Burnout Syndrome)
Quite Great and Helen Brice (Music Psychotherapy)
Bailey Chauner at Redfin (Seasonal affective disorder)
UnitedMind Laughter Yoga (Jobs and wellbeing)
Christina Hendricks at mentalhealthzen.com (PTSD and veterans)
Reviews Bee (Child Mental Health)
Mental Health and Money Worries  (Mental health and money)
Stephen Smith nOCD App (OCD)
Arslan Butt (Mental health)
Tony Weekes Unity MHS (his story)
Ellie Miles (Health anxiety)
Hope Virgo (Anorexia recovery/ book by Trigger Press)
Ann Heathcote Worsley Centre of Psychotherapy
Adar (PTSD and relationship abuse)
Marcus (Bipolar disorder)
Diamond E Health Informer (Mental Health and Technology)   
Lystia Putranto and Karina Ramos (Anxiety)
Paradigm San Francisco (Internet and teen mental health)
Juno Medical (Anxiety infographic)
Jasmine Burns (Binge eating disorder)
Bill Weiss (Opiate withdrawal)
Jessica Flores (Bipolar 2)
Jimmy Vick (Meditation)
Jay Pignatiello (Mindfulness and Meditation)
David Baum (365 Challenge for PTSD and Mind)
Karen (Anxiety as a mental health professional)
Dr Stacey Leibowitz-Levy (Online CBT) 

I have also written a lot about my journey with bipolar disorder and anxiety and hope to continue to do so in the new year!

Be Ur Own Light will be celebrating its second birthday in March 2018 and we can’t wait to see what next year holds.

We wish you all a very happy Christmas and New Year period- Festive Greetings to all!