I can’t believe its almost Christmas and the end of 2023! It has been at times a challenging year but I do love the holidays, even though we don’t celebrate Christmas. But its nice to come together as we’re all off work here in the UK and have family time, food and watch movies.
My favourite thing about this season are the cosy, twinkly lights and light trails. We’ll be doing one this year at a stately home. Lighting up the darkness feels appropriate this time of year.
I know that Christmas is not easy for everyone and many struggle with their mental health and relationships this time of year. Please know you are not alone and reach out to Samaritans 116 123 if you need to talk. There is also the Shout text service.
I hope your festive season will be merry and bright… and if it isn’t please tell someone and seek help if you can. You are never alone.
Note: the author refers to USA divorce laws but the advice for mental health is the same.
Divorce is an extremely difficult process, emotionally and financially draining, and legally complex. Whether you are the one filing for divorce or the one who is served with divorce papers, this life-altering experience can take a toll on your mental health. With so many issues to consider – child custody, spousal support, property division, and more – navigating divorce law (USA) can be intimidating. But it’s important to prioritise your mental health during this challenging time. In this blog post, we will explore some ways to help you manage your mental health and navigate divorce law.
Focus on Self-Care
The first step to taking care of your mental health is to focus on self-care. Amidst all the chaos, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and seek help immediately if you feel overwhelmed. Make sure to carve out time for activities that you enjoy and engage in self-care rituals that make you feel good.
Seek Therapy
Divorce is a tough time, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help from a licensed therapist. A therapist can help you work through the complex emotions you’re feeling and provide you with coping mechanisms to manage your emotions proactively.
Find Emotional Support
Surround yourself with positive and supportive friends and family who will uplift and cheer you up. Find a support network of divorce recovery groups where you can share your experiences and get emotional support from people who understand what you’re going through. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and delegate tasks to relieve stress.
Stay Educated on Divorce Law(USA)
Divorce laws vary from state to state, so it’s important to stay educated about the laws that apply in your state. An understanding of the legal process can help you make better decisions and manage your legal battles more effectively. Consult with a qualified divorce attorney who can provide you with legal guidance and support.
Mediation
Consider mediation as a way to avoid going to court. It’s an opportunity to resolve your differences collaboratively and avoid contentious legal battles that can take a toll on your mental health. Mediation focuses on negotiating a settlement that works for both parties, and an experienced mediator can help you resolve issues like child custody, spousal support, property division, and more.
Going through a divorce is challenging, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Remember to take care of your mental health during this time by focusing on self-care, seeking therapy, finding emotional support, staying educated on divorce law, and considering mediation. You are not alone, and with the right support and guidance, you can successfully navigate the divorce process. Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals if you need help.
This article was written by Brooke Chaplan, who is based in the USA. For UK and other divorce laws, please see your own country.
In 2015, Alexander Walton had an idea. It was an emotional short story that he wrote, then placed in brightly coloured envelopes and randomly distributed across the city he lived in. Each one also contained a small gift: a symbol of hope. He called this project Find My Story and through the support and kindness of others, it expanded across the globe.
Over the next five years there were three stories in total. Hundreds of volunteers. Thousands of envelopes. And an avalanche of profound and moving responses from people who had found one of these envelopes, and had the curiosity to open it.
This experience was the inspiration for The Kind Mind Method and ultimately changed the author’s life in ways he never could have expected. He continues to advocate kindness and positivity through his books and ongoing projects.
(image: Alexander Walton)
For years, scientific studies have continuously demonstrated a clear link between kindness and mental wellbeing. Throughout that time, there has never been any unified mechanism to harness this power. Until now.
Do you feel as if you are stuck inside your own head? Does worry stop you engaging with the wider world? Do you sometimes feel helpless to stop negative thoughts? The Kind Mind Method is a simple thought process that will allow you to embrace a positive mindset in everything you do. It will change you in ways you never could have imagined and snap you into the moment like nothing else you have tried.
Built upon proven scientific principles and leveraging the power of kindness, Alexander Walton will explain how you can benefit from this profound change. Through clear steps and real-world examples, he will guide you through its adoption and ongoing usage. Along the way, he will examine how this approach provides you with a true alternative thought that you will actively want to pursue. And by the end of this book, you will understand how it can offer a structured mechanism to deal with any situation, and watch as you seamlessly embrace a different thought. A better thought. A kinder thought.
Here were just some responses to the Find my Story envelopes:
Found your story and you have no idea at what time it entered my life and the impact it had.”
“It is impossible to describe how this story made me feel…I will keep this gift on me until I feel I need to pass it on myself.”
“THANK YOU for writing your story, and sending that message of hope out into the world. I needed it so badly and I’ve kept the gift with me ever since. I’ll never forget the feeling of opening your envelope.”
A Christmas carol’s feeling in the belly. Your story is beautiful and your letter found me in a very special time. A time of uncertainty and doubts where this star blowing in the middle of the night was somehow something I didn’t expect anymore. Thank you so much for that.
You can find Alexander Walton on his website and his book is out now.
Embarking on the journey of meditation is akin to entering a profound realm of self-discovery and tranquility. This ancient practice, deeply woven into the fabric of various cultures and spiritual traditions, offers a transformative pathway to inner peace and mindfulness. In this exploration of meditation, you can delve into its fundamental principles and techniques. You may also learn about the many benefits it brings. If you are eager to embark on this contemplative journey, there is much to be gained.
Understanding the Essence of Meditation
Meditation, at its core, is a mental exercise designed to heighten awareness and cultivate a tranquil state of mind. In a world filled with incessant noise and distractions, meditation serves as a sanctuary. This is a space that is meant to silence the ceaseless chatter of the mind. Through various techniques such as focused breathing, guided visualisation, or mindful observation, individuals aim to create a profound sense of calm and presence in the current moment. There’s a reason why meditation has been a part of the human experience since as far back as 5000 BCE.
Getting Started on Your Meditation Journey
Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable space where you can sit or lie down without distractions. Creating an environment that allows you to immerse yourself in the practice is foundational. Once settled, turn your attention inward, focusing on your breath—an elemental meditation technique. Inhale deeply, feeling the air fill your lungs, and then exhale slowly, consciously releasing tension. Alternatively, engage in mindful observation by letting thoughts come and go without attachment, cultivating a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. Don’t be surprised if a surge of energy during meditation happens — and don’t judge it if it does.
Various Types of Meditation
Meditation is a diverse tapestry, offering various techniques catering to different preferences and goals. Mindfulness meditation encourages being fully present, urging individuals to observe thoughts and sensations without attachment. Transcendental meditation involves repeating a mantra silently, guiding practitioners toward a state of relaxed awareness. Loving-kindness meditation centers around cultivating feelings of love and compassion, often achieved through the repetition of positive phrases. Body scan meditation encourages a mental exploration of the body, identifying and releasing tension to promote both physical and mental relaxation.
Benefits of Meditation
The benefits of meditation are extensive and well-documented, making it a compelling practice for those seeking holistic well-being. Stress reduction stands as one of its primary advantages, with regular practice promoting relaxation and heightened mindfulness. Improved concentration becomes a natural outcome, as meditation serves as a training ground for the mind, enhancing cognitive function and focus. Emotional well-being experiences a positive shift, marked by reduced anxiety, a more optimistic outlook, and increased emotional resilience. The calming effect of meditation often extends to sleep, contributing to improved sleep quality and overall restorative rest.
Challenges on the Meditation Path
While the benefits of meditation are profound, the journey is not without its challenges. Patience becomes a valuable companion, recognizing that meditation is a skill that matures over time. Developing a consistent practice is equally crucial; establishing a routine, even if just for a few minutes each day, allows individuals to experience benefits. Encouraging experimentation with different techniques acknowledges the uniqueness of each individual, encouraging them to discover approaches that resonate with their personal preferences. Incorporating meditation into daily life is a transformative process, one that extends beyond formal sessions. Integrating mindfulness into routine activities, such as mindful eating or walking, becomes a practical and enriching way to extend the benefits beyond the confines of just one daily meditation session.
Final Thoughts on a Transformational Process
Practicing meditation will unlock a special door to the realm of self-discovery and serenity. As one navigates the principles, techniques, and benefits, it becomes evident that the true beauty of meditation lies not solely in reaching a destination but in embracing the ongoing journey toward self-awareness and inner peace. Whether you are a novice or a seasoned practitioner, the path of meditation invites you to explore the depths of your own consciousness and find solace in the stillness of the present moment.
This article was written by writer Miranda Spears.
A car accident can be a traumatic experience that can leave a lasting emotional impact on a person. It’s so important to not only look after your physical wellbeing but to also prioritise your emotional wellbeing. Here are some effective ways to cope with emotional trauma after a car accident.
Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotion
Emotional reactions are common after a car accident, such as shock, nervousness, or panic. These feelings are natural and normal but also can be overwhelming. It is essential to recognize and label your emotions, express them in a healthy way, and avoid suppressing them. Consider talking to a friend, family member, or professional counselor to help you process all that you’re feeling and experiencing.
Self-Care Practices
After a car accident, it is crucial to care for yourself, physically and mentally. Engage in self-care practices such as taking walks, meditating, listening to music, taking a relaxing bath, or other activities you find calming and comforting. Eat well-balanced meals, get enough sleep and avoid alcohol and drugs that may escalate your emotional reactions.
Reach Out For Support
A car accident is an extremely stressful event. If you’re finding it difficult to manage your emotions, it may be helpful to reach out for support. You can talk with a friend or family member or join a support group for people who have experienced car accidents. Professional counselors and mental health experts also can help you learn how to process and cope with your emotions.
Speak to Legal Help
After an accident, it is common to seek legal guidance to navigate compensation and payment for damages and injuries. During this process, if you experience anxiety or depression, talking to a legal professional may be beneficial. To lessen the burden of insurance claims, a car accident injury lawyer can help secure compensation and provide emotional support for their clients.
Be Patient with Yourself
Recovery and healing from emotional distress can take time and patience. Allow yourself the time and space you need to recover. It’s crucial to keep communicating your needs and emotions with friends, family, and professionals who can help support you through your healing process. You might not feel ready to drive again due to the accident. And that’s okay. Allow yourself time to heal and get back into the swing of things.
A car accident can be a life-changing event that can have a lasting impact on your physical and emotional well-being. Coping with emotional trauma after a car accident can be overwhelming, but it is possible with the right tools and support. Practice patience with yourself, seek the help of qualified professionals, and prioritise your self-care practices. Together, these steps will help you heal and rebuild after a car accident.
Some of you will know that I have been really quiet on this blog for a long time about certain aspects of my life.
Being mid thirties and married, I often get asked, ‘Do you have any children?’ or ‘How many kids do you have?’.
I often explain that I don’t have kids yet but I have 2 fur babies, my guineapigs Midnight and Nutmeg.
The truth is I have wanted to be a Mum since I was a young girl. Ive had lists of baby names since I was age 12. If it was up to me, I would be a mother already. Mothering is a huge part of my heart and soul. I am blessed to be an auntie, which is incredibly special.
This summer, after various symptoms including weight gain, irregular periods and a scan revealing ovarian cysts, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome). This syndrome can cause irregular periods, irregular ovulation and sometimes infertility as a result. It is a hormonal condition where your body produces too many androgens (male hormone) and its very common.
I got the diagnosis one month before I turned 35, in June this year. Why is this significant? Some will know that 35 is seen for some as a cut off point, when your eggs either start to decline or reduce in amount. There is also a greater risk as you get older for certain things like miscarriage and disabilities in the foetus. Being overweight as well with the PCOS (and other bipolar medication) means that the PCOS is worsened and my period cycle is not normal. I need to lose the weight, to help my fertility too.
I called my book ‘Bring me to Light’ because I had come to a place of light after darkness. I didn’t know a new challenge would be coming my way.
So- I have started to take supplements to help me ovulate more regularly and get my body ready (myo-inositol and folic acid, vitamin d, fish oils with omega 3). I am also trying to lose some weight and gain better health and regular ovulation, through regular exercise. Recently, I have signed up with a nutritionist and I am in process of changing my diet so less carbs, less sugar. Soon, I may need to speak to my GP to get further intervention re making sure I am regularly ovulating, but until then, I am trying to overhaul things.
This isn’t easy. I crave sugar. I crave chocolate. I love pasta. I love fruit juice. I can’t completely cut them out yet to help my health conditions but I will get there in time (reduction is key).
My nutritionist has highlighted to me that when you have raised cortisol (stress hormone) levels, your body finds it holds on to weight. I am doing a lot better with my PTSD panic attacks but when they do happen I get raised cortisol. I also take heavy medications and my metabolism is affected too.
I have been coming to terms with so much. I know one day soon, I will be a Mum and Rob and I will be parents. Its just going to take a little longer.
Just wanted to say a big shout out to all friends who have supported me with this, especially those on instagram going through their own struggles too. You have held my hand, comforted me and helped to wipe my tears. My therapist has been helpful too- and our faith and prayers keeps us going.
Being an adult really is hard and this will be an ongoing journey. People have worse things than me too, but as someone once told me, we are not given more than we can handle….
I wrote it to explain how I turned the darkness that bipolar episodes can bring, into light. And so people reading feel less alone, so stigma can fall. So important to talk about our illnesses once we are better, so that it isn’t so hard to understand.
Living with severe mental illness like bipolar psychosis. mania or suicidal depressions can be very challenging. However, they do not have to be your entire life. For me, medication and therapy over time have helped me. Its different for everyone.
If you would like to read my story or gift it to a friend to help them, please see Amazon or other well known bookshops.
And remember- we are never truly alone although being ill can feel unbearable- hold on to hope if you can:
Being a parent is challenging, but being a parent who is homebound can be incredibly isolating and stressful. With the added pressures of the COVID-19 pandemic, homebound parents have been struggling with their mental health more than ever before. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. There are several mental health support strategies that parents can implement to help them cope with this challenging time and help them continue to provide their children with the love and care that they deserve.
Prioritise Self-Care
Self-care practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and exercise can help homebound parents manage their stress and maintain their mental health. They can schedule regular exercise routines at home, and practice deep breathing and meditation during their downtime. It is essential for homebound parents to set boundaries and take care of their well-being to increase their capacity to address the demands of parenthood.
Seek Professional Help
Homebound parents who are struggling with their mental health should consider seeking the support and guidance of a mental health professional. They can benefit from online therapy sessions, group therapy sessions, or taking medication that might help them feel better. There are also many mental health hotlines and online resources available to parents struggling with their mental health.
Connect with a Support Network
Homebound parents can engage with online support groups where they can share their experiences, offer and receive advice, and connect with other people going through the same thing. It is also a good idea to connect with friends and family members for emotional support. Social connection is vital to maintaining good mental health.
Utilize Home Health Care Services
Home health care services can provide support and assistance for parents who are struggling with their health. These services can include anything from medication management to helping with household chores and providing much needed respite care for parents. Home health care services can also help parents navigate local resources to receive additional support.
Practice Stress-Reducing Activities with Children
Homebound parents can engage their children in various stress-reducing activities such as sensory play, guided meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga. These activities can help children learn how to manage their emotions and provide a calming environment for both parents and children.
Being a homebound parent is challenging, but it becomes even more challenging when mental health struggles are involved. Still, it is essential to prioritise self-care and seek professional help when needed. Engage with a support network, consider utilising home health care services, and perform stress-reducing activities with children.
These strategies will significantly empower homebound parents and help them cope with the challenges of parenthood effectively. With the proper support, homebound parents can provide the love and care their children need and deserve.
This article was written by writer Lizzie Weakley.
This World Mental Health Day, clinical experts in bipolar have today announced that successive failings in government policy could have led to a significant reduction in quality of care for those living with bipolar in the UK.
Despite vast improvements in key areas of mental health, the average age for people to get a diagnosis of bipolar is 34 if someone was diagnosed within the past five years, compared to 26 if someone was diagnosed 30 or more years ago.
“It is shocking that today people are living with undiagnosed bipolar for longer than they were when the charity was formed 40 years ago. The current average delay to diagnosis is 9.5 years. That’s nearly a lost decade where people are struggling with confusing symptoms without getting the vital bipolar-specific treatment and support they need,” said Simon Kitchen, CEO of leading charity Bipolar UK.
“This delay is having catastrophic consequences, with the Bipolar Commission finding that more than a third of the 2,458 people surveyed had attempted suicide because of this delay. This is backed up by research which shows that ‘time to treatment’ is significantly associated with hospitalisations and lifetime suicide attempts.
Tragically, global research estimates that up to 1 in 5 people will take their own life and 60% of people with bipolar will attempt suicide at least once during their lifetime.
It is well established that bipolar has the highest risk of suicide of any mental health condition, yet it is only mentioned once in the Government’s recently published national suicide prevention strategy.
CEO of Bipolar UK CEO, Simon Kitchen, said, “Since Bipolar UK was founded as a charity 40 years ago, we have never stopped campaigning on behalf of those living with bipolar and their families.
“To help prevent the high rate of suicide in those with bipolar and to reduce this unacceptable waiting time for a diagnosis, we are currently campaigning for the Government to commit to prioritising bipolar in the implementation of their national suicide prevention strategy and to commit to reducing the average delay to diagnosis to five year within five years.”
The Bipolar Commission’s Bipolar Minds Matter report launched in parliament in November 2022 includes several recommendations that experts in bipolar and clinicians believe will reduce diagnosis time, improve the quality of life and reduce the high risk of suicide for those living with bipolar.
Kitchen added; “The current care system for bipolar is broken, resulting in an ineffective and inaccurate pathway to diagnosis.
“It is shocking that diagnosis delays are worse now than when Bipolar UK was founded 40 years ago.
“Although we are providing as much support as we can, we desperately need the government to sit up and take action before we lose even more people to suicide.”
In today’s fast-paced, stress-laden world, it can be a real challenge to keep yourself mentally and physically balanced. It’s easy to overlook the impact of your lifestyle choices on your overall well-being and end up feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and burnt out. However, maintaining a healthy mind and body is crucial for long-term happiness and success. This post intends to explore tips and tricks for prioritising your mental and physical health and keeping them in balance. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or just seeking a more balanced lifestyle, there are answers to follow.
Eat Healthily
The food you eat keeps your body in shape and can significantly impact your mental health. Research shows that eating a balanced and nutrient-rich diet can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Try incorporating more whole foods, fruits, greens, and lean proteins into your diet, and steer clear of processed foods, refined sugars, and unhealthy fats. If you want to take it a step further, try meal prepping always to have healthy food when you’re in a rush.
Exercise Regularly
Exercise is one of the best ways to balance your body and mind. Whether going to the gym, taking a yoga class, or going for a run or walk, exercise releases endorphins that lift your mood and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Make sure to find something you enjoy that you can stick to long-term. Even if it is just 30 minutes of physical activity daily, you’ll notice a huge difference in your overall well-being.
Rest and Relax
With life’s stressors always looming, finding time to rest and relax can be challenging. However, taking care of yourself by getting enough rest is crucial to balancing your mental health. Ensure you are getting enough sleep, aiming for around seven to nine hours per night, and take other measures to relax, such as massage, a bubble bath, or indulging in your favourite hobbies.
Prioritise Your Mental Health
Mental health is just as important as physical health. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or another mental health problem, it’s essential to prioritise your mental health. Seek professional mental health care if necessary, talk to trusted friends and family about any concerns, and make sure you take time each day to do things you love. Self-care and meditation can also work wonders to quiet your mind, reduce stress, and ease feelings of anxiety.
Find Balance in Your Relationships
Achieving balance in your relationships is also crucial for mental health. Sometimes, unhealthy relationships can lead to unhealthy habits that throw you off balance and make you feel worse. Make sure you only surround yourself with people who support you, respect you, and have your best interests at heart. Ensure you set boundaries, say no when necessary, and openly communicate your needs and feelings.
Keeping yourself in balance mentally and physically is an ongoing process that requires continual effort and investment. However, the rewards of prioritising your mental and physical health can be nothing short of life-changing. By taking care of yourself and making sure you are eating healthily, exercising regularly, getting enough rest, prioritising your mental health, and finding balance in your relationships, you can achieve a balanced and fulfilling life. So, try some of these tips, and watch yourself grow into the best version of yourself yet.
Meghan Belnap is a freelance blogger, researcher and writer.
beurownlight.com 