CBT vs EMDR: Which Therapy Is Right for You? by Andrew Kemp, Therapist at Clear Mind CBT.

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When people begin looking for psychological support, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT for short, is one of the most well-known and accessible forms of psychotherapy. Recently, more and more therapists are offering Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), particularly for trauma.Both are well established, evidence-based treatments that can help people move forward from distressing experiences — but they do so in quite different ways.

If you’ve been wondering what sets them apart, or which might be the best fit for you, this post aims to break down the differences in a clear and down-to-earth way.

Understanding CBT

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is arguably the most widely accessed and researched psychological approaches, particularly in the UK. It’s based on the understanding that our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviours are all connected. When one of these areas becomes unhelpful — for example, when our thoughts become overly negative or worrisome — it creates a negative cycle that keeps us stuck and in turn maintains that distress.

CBT helps a person to notice these patterns and challenge them with practical, realistic alternatives. The aim is not to “think positively” but to think more accurately. For instance, if you often find yourself thinking “I always mess things up,” CBT would explore the evidence for and against that thought, helping you see the situation in a more balanced light.

Sessions are focused on the present and typically structured towards achieving mutually agreed goals. There is less emphasis on the past and childhood, although this can be useful to consider in relation to the development of a person’s belief system or how they see the world today. This, in turn, influences a person’s responses to distress. CBT continues outside of sessions as clients engage in task such as trying alternative response to distress, or journalling at challenging times. 

CBT for trauma focuses on making changes to the way a person thinks about a traumatic event, and themselves within that event. Re-living is a key element of CBT for trauma and enables the person to safely revisits the traumatic memory in a structured, supportive way with their therapist. This allows the brain to process the event as a memory, rather than something that is still happening now, which in turn reduces distress around the event and any associated flashbacks or nightmares. The overall aim is to reduce distress, restore a sense of safety and control, and help the person make sense of what happened so the trauma feels like something from the past — not something still happening in the present.

CBT is highly effective for anxiety, low mood/depression, panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), PTSD/trauma, poor sleep/insomnia and many other mental health difficulties.

Understanding EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) might sound unusual at first — after all, what do eye movements have to do with mental health? Yet EMDR is a powerful, evidence-based therapy originally developed to help people recover from trauma.

The theory behind EMDR is that when something distressing happens, our brains sometimes struggle to process it properly. The memory can get “stuck,” remaining vivid and the person continues to experience the fear as if the event is happening again. EMDR helps the brain work through these memories so they can be stored more adaptively — as something that happened in the past, rather than something that continues to feel threatening now.

During EMDR sessions, the therapist will guide you through sets of bilateral stimulation — this could involve following their fingers with your eyes, hearing alternating tones through headphones, or feeling gentle taps on your hands. This process is thought to mimic the way the brain naturally processes memories during REM sleep.

One benefit of EMDR is that it’s not necessary to go into detail about the event if you don’t want to. The focus is on how it feels in your body and what comes up in the moment. Over time, people often report that distressing memories lose their emotional intensity, and the beliefs tied to those experiences begin to shift to something most positive and empowering, rather than fearful or critical.

Can CBT and EMDR Be Combined?

Absolutely. Many therapists are trained in both and will tailor the approach depending on your needs. For example, someone with trauma may start with CBT techniques to manage anxiety and develop coping skills, then move into EMDR once they feel more grounded and ready to process deeper memories. In some cases, EMDR can help resolve traumatic roots of long-standing patterns, while CBT provides the tools and strategies to maintain progress in day-to-day life.

It isn’t about one being “better” than the other — it’s about finding what works for you, at the right time and pace.

Which One Should You Choose?

If you’re feeling stuck in unhelpful thoughts or patterns — for example, overthinking, avoidance, or self-criticism — CBT can be a great place to start. It’s structured, practical, and gives you tools you can continue using long after therapy ends. If you’ve experienced trauma, flashbacks, or distressing memories that feel “frozen in time,” EMDR might be more suitable. It’s gentle yet powerful, and often helps people move on from experiences they’ve been carrying for years.

Ultimately, the best way to decide is to talk with a qualified therapist who can help assess your situation and guide you towards the most appropriate treatment.

Final Thoughts

Both CBT and EMDR offer genuine hope for change. Whether you’re learning to manage anxiety, heal from trauma, or simply understand yourself better, the right therapeutic relationship can make all the difference.

At its heart, therapy isn’t just about techniques — it’s about feeling safe, understood, and supported while you make sense of your experiences. Whether through CBT, EMDR, or a combination of both, the goal is the same: helping you feel more in control of your thoughts, emotions, and your life again.

This blog was written by UK therapist Andrew Kemp at www.clearmindcbt.com and contains sponsored links.

What 6 Phases Does the Borderline Personality Disorder Relationship Cycle Consist Of? by Maya

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Those who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often have trouble maintaining relationships. Though not every relationship will go through these stages and the process isn’t always linear, there are six distinct phases they can go through (although each person is different). Those phases can include the following.

Idealisation

The first phase, often the start of the relationship, is the idealisation phase. Someone with BPD will shower their partner with affection, so the relationship starts out passionately. They may develop feelings fast, and they may mistake the initial feelings of passion as finding the person they’re going to be with forever. Those getting help for their mental health at a Borderline personality treatment center will learn how to recognise this phase in their relationships.

Fear of Abandonment

Once the relationship is underway, the person with BPD will end up watching everything their partner does carefully. The fear of abandonment is strong, so they end up worrying that there are signs that they will be left behind. If their partner doesn’t answer a text message fast enough, the person with BPD might feel like their partner is thinking of leaving them. This can put strain on the relationship.

Reassurance

At this point, the person with BPD will attempt to get reassurance that the partner isn’t going to leave. They might start arguments in an attempt to get the partner to prove they are willing to fight to stay in the relationship. This is often where relationships turn toxic, as the behaviour leads to more arguments and fights in an effort to get the partner to prove they’re serious about the relationship.

Distress

Because of the toxicity in the relationship, it will start to fall apart. The person with BPD will see this coming and start to feel like there’s no way to save the relationship. They’re may feel like they are empty, but they do not have a way to communicate this with their partner. The lack of communication skills can spell disaster for the relationship.

Abandonment

The person with BPD is likely to be the first one to break up the relationship. At this point, it’s difficult if not impossible for the relationship to recover, even if the person with BPD realises what they’ve done. This ultimately creates the feeling of being abandoned, so they are likely going to feel like their fear is real and will be more likely to repeat these phases in the future.

Grief

The final stage is grief. They may end up blaming themselves for the relationship ending and can engage in self-harm or other destructive behaviours as a result. Some will turn to substance abuse or risky behaviours as they grieve the end of the relationship. Depending on the severity of BPD, the intensity of the relationship, and other factors, it may not take long to get from the idealisation stage to the grief stage, which can make going through this stage worse.

BPD disorder doesn’t mean that a relationship is impossible and not all relationships with them will go through these phases. However, this is a common way that relationships play out when one of the people suffers from BPD. Therapy and relationship counselling can help both people to recover and repair from any toxic relationship patterns.

This article was written by Maya.

Tips On Coping With Borderline Personality Disorder And Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Dr Joann Mundin.

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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects people’s thoughts about themselves and others. People with borderline personality disorder experience extreme emotions. A person with this disorder is likely to have intense relationships with many ups and downs. Other signs of borderline personality disorder include impulsivity and changes in one’s self-image. Anger management issues and mood swings can both be symptoms of BPD. They could also fear being left behind or abandoned.

Sometimes, people with borderline personality disorder are also affected by obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD. The person and their loved ones may find it challenging to cope with a borderline personality disorder. But borderline personality disorder is something that can be learned to manage. You can learn to manage borderline personality disorder with the proper professional care, self-help techniques, and coping skills and have a happy and successful life.

Coping mechanisms for borderline personality disorder

A borderline personality disorder is a condition that affects each person differently. Find out what works for you by taking your time. Everyone’s situation may be different, but by taking the actions listed below, you can cope with borderline personality disorder :

1. Engage in physical activities

Exercise may help you stabilize and regain emotional control if you have problems coping with BPD. Exercises like yoga, boxing, running, and cycling may be beneficial.

2. Take some time off for yourself

Although social isolation has adverse effects, occasionally removing yourself from other people might be a healthy coping mechanism for BPD. Spend some time alone, and rejuvenate yourself without the influence of others. Reflecting alone might assist you in readjusting if you are experiencing intense anger or feeling emotionally out of control.

3. Write emails or letters to people but don’t send them

This is a great way to express feelings and decompress. The effects are similar to keeping a journal, making it possible to express yourself without having your words negatively affect your relationships. By delaying sending the message, you can go back and read what you said after the initial emotions have subsided.

4. Take breaks

Feelings of rage and anger might be reduced temporarily by leaving a stressful setting and looking after yourself.

5. Keep yourself occupied as much as you can

Keep yourself occupied to divert your attention from your current feelings. Holding a fidget toy such as a slinky, helps keep your hands engaged and allows your mind to concentrate on the recent activity.

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Is obsessive-compulsive disorder related to borderline personality disorder?

BPD is thought to be fundamentally linked to obsessive-compulsive symptoms. These symptoms are intense, and BPD patients who experience them often exhibit poor insight, resistance, and sometimes obsessive control in interpersonal interactions.

A 5% prevalence of borderline personality disorder (also known as BPD) has been seen in OCD patients. Additionally, these patients with BPD and OCD had greater rates of anxiety, mood, and eating problems. These examples of co-occurring BPD and OCD have been linked to motor impulsivity, mental compulsions, and compulsions involving interpersonal domains.

How is OCD treated?

Treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder may not provide a cure, but it can help keep symptoms under control so they don’t interfere with your everyday life. Some patients may require long-term, continuous, or more extensive treatment depending on how severe their OCD is. Psychotherapy and medicines are the two essential OCD treatments, and treatment is frequently most successful when these are used in conjunction.

How can you cope with OCD?

Below you’ll find mechanisms that will help you cope with obsessive-compulsive disorder:

1. Acknowledge your OCD’s existence

Like the monster you used to think lived beneath your bed as a child, OCD can seem like an uncontrollable power waiting to strike. Give your OCD a name and a shape rather than letting it be a faceless villain. It might benefit kids and adults to view OCD as a distinct condition. Remember, OCD is not your fault, and there is no need to feel ashamed.

2. Maintain an OCD journal

An OCD journal serves the same purpose as the food journals that some people use to record their daily dietary intake when on a diet. You can keep note of your triggers in an OCD journal, discover new ones, and evaluate the general state of your OCD. Keep an OCD journal with you at all times, and write down what happens when you perform a compulsion. After reading through your diary entries at the end of the day, ask yourself the following questions.

● Why did these circumstances make me OCD-prone?

● What would have occurred if my resolutions hadn’t been carried out?

● What proof is there that what I feared would occur?

3. Use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) techniques

ERP is a popular method for addressing and maybe easing OCD. When adopting ERP, a person exposes themselves to a circumstance that causes an obsession and then refrains from acting on their compulsion. Try creating an OCD ladder by ranking your triggers and associated anxieties on a ten-rung ladder from 1 to 10 in terms of their seriousness. You should start with a low-level trigger when you initially start ERP, and after you’ve faced it, wait 10 seconds before acting on your urge. Increase the amount of time you go without gradually employing your compulsion until you can handle the task or scenario without it. As you master your triggers, climb the OCD ladder.

4. Redirect your focus

If you have OCD compulsions or obsessions or feel one coming on, try diverting your attention from the problem. You can either mentally or physically refocus your attention. Try repeating the program if, after the period of refocusing, you still feel the need to finish your obsession.

5. Keep your stress levels down

OCD is difficult to live with, and stress can make these tasks even more difficult. Keeping your stress level low is essential because it has been demonstrated that stress dramatically increases OCD in people. Make sure to arrange some time each day to relax. Finding an hour each day to decompress, watching some TV, reading a book, or going for a run, can be pretty helpful.

Final thoughts

You can learn coping methods and healthy lifestyle choices without allowing the illnesses and symptoms to define you. Finding strategies that work for you is critical. You should also be open and honest with close family members about your needs. For example, you should tell family members how to help you if you feel angry or emotional. You are not defined by your illness and you can learn to cope- reach for support.

About the Author: Dr. Joann Mundin is a board-certified psychiatrist who has been in practice since 2003. She is a Diplomate with the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and a Fellow with the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada. Currently associated with Mindful Values, she provides assessments and treatment for patients with severe mental illness.