For those who are new readers or don’t really know, I have been journalling for a long time- maybe since the age of 14 on and off. I have always sought to write and get my feelings down on paper. I was looking through some boxes the other day and came across the following ‘Future letter to myself’ from September 2010. I was 22 and reflecting on life and the journey I had been on from being diagnosed bipolar at 16, to falling in love and having my heart broken and travelling around the world. I had also been struggling with anxiety for a long time.
This ‘I have learnt’ list was partly inspired by the introduction to singer India Aries album ‘Love and Relationships’. The words are my own. I hope if you are feeling sad or if you are contemplating things in your own life that these words give you strength.
A letter to my future self, I have learnt (From 2010)
‘Dear future me
I sit here as a woman who has survived trauma and illness, travelled to 3 continents and got a university degree. I sit here as a woman who has survived a severely broken heart.
I have learnt that love is not enough.
I have learnt that just because everyone else does something doesn’t mean I have to.
I have learnt that I have inner reserves of strength.
I have learnt that a supportive family or network is everything.
I have learnt that loneliness is painful- but is part of life experience.
I have learnt that life is joy and pain and mundanity.
I have learnt that some people are meant to leave your life physically but leave an impression on your heart.
I have learnt that facing life takes a lot of courage.
I have learnt that we need the love of others. A person is not a person without other people.
I have learnt to assess character.
I have learnt not to fall too easily.
I have learnt that having a shattered heart or mind is painful but not the end.
I have learnt that the mind is incredibly powerful and we have to learn to master it.
I have learnt that food is good.
I have learnt that fears are blessings because by pushing through them we grow.
I have learnt about the power of the soul.
Be strong. Believe even at your saddest moments.