The Book of Hope is Out Now!

I have written here before but I am so excited to say that the Book of Hope, which features my essay ‘Of Hope and Sunflowers’ and put together by my friends Jonny Benjamin MBE and Britt Pfluger is out now!

Happy Publication Day!


It is such an honour to be in a book with so many incredible people in their own fields talking about overcoming their own adversity and mental health issues.

As I write, the book is currently 16th in the bestsellers chart for all books on Amazon.

Hugely thankful to Jonny and Britt for including me in such a great project.

You can get your copy here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1509846379/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_3VAKJ0JC6HV05ZYMNHW2

Self Care Ideas for Positive Change in 2021.

(image: Toa Haftaba on Unsplash)

As we move deeper into April, your new year’s resolutions may feel like a distant dream. This is because we often set ourselves large-scale goals that are hard to maintain for long periods instead of introducing small changes that will have a significant impact further down the line. 

As a result, you must understand that sometimes the smallest alterations can have the biggest impact on your life and are often the most effective when it comes to making changes. You also don’t need to wait for the start of a new year to enact them – you can get started whenever you feel ready to do so.

With that in mind, here are some easy ways in which you can put your best foot forward for the rest of 2021 – bringing around positive change in the process. 

Get to grips with your finances.

According to a recent study, around half of the adult population in the UK worry about money on a weekly basis. Therefore, one of the ways in which you can enact positive change in your life is by taking some time to get to grips with your finances – finding new ways to make the most of your money, meaning you can make penny count. This could include: 

  • Setting yourself a budget. 
  • Opening a savings account and putting a small amount of money into it each month.

(image: Feeh Costa on Unsplash)

Take some time for yourself. Sometimes, the biggest changes occur when we start focusing on self-love and development. Thankfully, there are various ways in which you can do that, such as: 

  • Focusing on being introspective, trying to understand why you may act or behave in a certain way and how you can alter your perspective of yourself and your current situations. 
  • Spending time doing something you love – whether that means exploring nature or re-reading your favourite book. 
  • Challenging yourself to try something new once a week. Whether that means you introduce a new colour into your wardrobe or pick up a new hobby. 

Participating in a digital detox

Tackle problems and worries head-on.

Nobody likes dealing with issues. We often try to push them aside in the hopes that they will come to a natural resolution on their own. However, this is often not the case – and many problems will intensify the longer we chose to ignore them. Therefore, by tackling them head-on – or at least starting to address them, you can continue to put your best foot forward.

For example, if you spend a lot of time worrying about events that will happen far in the future – think of everything that will happen in your life between now and then. This can help put your anxiety into perspective and teach you that you have nothing to worry about. However, it can also help you plan for the future and ease your mind.  

Make your mental health a priority and get support if needed too from a trusted GP or therapist.

This blog was written by a freelance writer

Being Kind to Myself: Social Anxiety, Mental Health and Life in Recovery.

(image: quotebold.com)

I really wanted to write today because the sun is shining, apple blossom is on the trees and Spring is finally here! I always feel more hopeful and happy once Spring is here but living with bipolar disorder and an anxiety disorder can mean that some days are harder than others.

This week, I have really struggled with low mood and social anxiety. I’m an optimistic person and sometimes I pack too much into my days and end up having a panic attack because I can’t cope. This is what happened to me yesterday when I decided it would be a great idea to pack in too much, including going across London and delivering many Body Shop orders to my customers and friends. My social anxiety was so high (I think largely due to being in lockdown) , I just wanted to hide and I ended up sleeping to escape my feelings and feeling super low. I am lucky that I understand what to do when this happens and I have a husband and family who support me too. I am still in therapy for my panic disorder and it has improved a lot but there are times when it gets triggered like this week.

I have also found that I am worrying more about what people think of me- if I have said the right or wrong thing or upset anyone. Its so silly but due to past rejection I get scared and those fears bubble to the surface.

On Friday, I had a really productive therapy session. There are a lot of worries about the future that I still hold and being able to unpack them in therapy is really useful for me. I am doing EMDR trauma therapy but a lot of it is talking out and facing those triggers one by one. I have a very good relationship with my therapist and having a session often calms my mind.

In positive news, last week I became an aunt to a beautiful baby girl, Cara Harriet who is the sweetest little baby. She is a joy and light in all our lives and I feel so lucky to have a little niece! My sister and brother in law are amazing 🙂

And in other good news, in April, my essay in the Book of Hope by Jonny Benjamin MBE and Britt Pfluger will be published alongside many others I look up to (Dame Kelly Holmes and my friend Hope Virgo). So there are good things as well as bad!

I am doing a lot better- I dont rapid cycle, I havn’t had an episode of mania or hypomania since 2014. My brain seems to like Lithium and Quetaipine (a mood stabiliser and anti psychotic). I have to learn to be kind to myself and practise self care, because my social anxiety is a fear response from the past.

Being kind to myself is of utmost importance. Heres a list of what I do when I am having a bad day: take a nap, have a bubble bath, read a book, hug the guineapigs and Rob, talk to Rob, a friend or family member, put on a face mask, cry, breathe and listen to calming music, watch a good TV show (I have been watching First Dates Teens), book in a therapy session, eat something nice, put some make up on, wash my hair, wear an uplifting perfume.

How are you kind to yourself on your bad days?

Love,

Eleanor x

Book Review : ‘Smart Girls Handbook: How to Silence Self Doubt’ by Scarlett V Clark of Smart Girl Tribe

Disclaimer: I got sent a free copy of the book to review but did not receive payment for this review.

I was so excited to receive my copy of this book! I have been following Scarlett Clark’s work for a year or more- she is an incredible woman! She set up a global hub for women on issues that matter, Smart Girl Tribe at the age of only 19! Scarlett is a true trailblazer and entrepreneur, who is all about womens empowerment. Smart Girl Tribe is now the UK’s number one empowerment organisation and as well as being an accomplished motivational speaker, activist and writer, Scarlett can now add author to the list!

On International Womens Day, earlier this month, Scarlett released The Smart Girls Handbook: How to Silence Self Doubt, Find your Purpose and Redefine the Impossible’ with Trigger Publishing (who also published my book!). I often have self doubt and it can be hard to find life purpose too for so many of us, especially if you struggle in life.

(image: Scarlett Clark/ Trigger Publishing)

Using her own story alongside the most popular questions that Scarlett is asked at the many events she runs in schools and colleges, The Smart Girl’s Handbook  aims to help you:

• Discover your talent and find your passion.
• Learn how to deal with fear of failure.
• Cope with anxiety and start speaking your truth.
• Build a strong group of true friends and slay the naysayers.
• Be confident and love yourself.

Each chapter follows the themes above and uses examples from Scarlett’s own life to explore the central idea. Included are tools, tips and exercises to work through, as well as interviews with other ‘Smart Girls’. This is a handbook for any girl who wants to push boundaries and go for what they want.

Scarlett tackles each issue head on, giving examples from her life journey and providing incredible motivational tips. I loved learning more about her, her life story and why she set up Smart Girl Tribe by herself at such a young age. Her fearless attitude and strength of character really stood out to me but also how she empowers other women to be and do the same.

Having lived with anxiety since the age of 15, I have had many years of holding back through fear but I have also achieved a lot too. I will go back to this book for advice again and again! It is an empowering book that will help women of any age, and especially teens and young women to reach for their dreams.

Each chapter has the Smart Girl Tribe promise headings and includes exercises to help you on your way too:

1) I promise to discover my talent and find my passion
2) I promise to learn how to deal with the fear of failure
3) I promise to learn to cope with anxiety and start speaking my truth
4) I promise to slay the mean girls and build a strong tribe of true friends
5) I promise to be confident and love myself unconditionally
6) I promise to be a total #boss
7) I promise to embrace self-care and take a well-needed pause
8) I promise to stand up and help change the world

Thanks Scarlett for being you and publishing this wonderful book too!

If you;d like to read your copy you can here



About Scarlett Clark:
At 19, female entrepreneur Scarlett V Clark set up a global hub for young women. Smart Girl Tribe quickly became the UK’s number one female empowerment organization. Since then she has worked with the UN, the British Council, HeforShe, Women for Women, and spoken at the Houses of Parliament. Now in her mid 20’s, Scarlett is an ambassador for the NSPCC and 50:50 which lobbies parliament and the political parties to be more inclusive of women. With a Masters degree in journalism, Scarlett has written for major publications including Cosmopolitan and Harper’s Bazaar. She is an avid traveller, competitive skier and multi linguist.

How Social Distancing is Affecting Social Anxiety During the Pandemic: by Anita Ginsburg

The COVID-19 pandemic has led to a concurrent mental health crisis for many. Some of the problems which individuals dealt with in very specific ways before the pandemic now require entirely new coping methods. One such problem is social anxiety, an issue that has been greatly affected by social distance.

Increased Feelings of Isolation

One of the major issues that has been exacerbated by social distancing is the feeling of isolation that tends to be comorbid with feelings of social anxiety. While those who experience social anxiety certainly feel uncomfortable in social situations, being forced out of them leads to even greater feelings of being isolated. With social distancing in place, now many are forced to stay away from others, even when they do want to go be around their friends or family.

New Social Patterns

For others, the emergence of new social patterns has been both a blessing and a curse. Social distancing now allows individuals to spend more time communicating via video chat, which often feels safer for those who are socially anxious. At the same time, the smaller groups mandated by many orders can help to decrease the level of social anxiety felt by many in those occasions in which they can go out and see others.

Falling Back on Bad Habits

Unfortunately, social distancing has also allowed some individuals to start falling back on bad habits. Those who were making progress in dealing with anxiety now have a whole new host of reasons to stay home and shrink the size of their social circles. This is not to say that individuals should be violating social distancing orders in order to overcome social anxiety. However, some find themselves unable to continue making forward progress due to the changes in the world around them.

New Access to Psychiatry

Finally, COVID-19 has changed how we interact with medical professionals. In many cases, healthcare workers have become more accessible through telehealth visits. Some who deal with social anxiety are finally finding it easier to get treatment thanks to remote psychiatry. Since this kind of anxiety makes it hard to go out in public, being able to get therapy from the safety of one’s own home can be quite appealing. Though it’s honestly not possible to say that the pandemic is good for anyone’s mental health, new forms of mental health access are certainly a good thing.

Social anxiety is still an issue even in a time of social distancing. For some, it’s an impediment to growth. For others, it provides a slower pace at which they can safely overcome obstacles. The only thing that’s certain is that this ongoing pandemic is putting a new focus on mental health.

Be Ur Own Light Blog turns 5!

(image: Peach Blossom)

Be Ur Own Light is 5! I cant believe its been 5 years since I began this as a therapy blog as I was suffering from severe panic from trauma and lost my job. I love this blog and will continue to write to break the stigma around mental illness.

This year, Vuelio awarded us as a Top UK mental health blog again which is just incredible. We were also nominated in the Mental Health Blog Awards 2020.

This year we have worked with some amazing writers and organisations on mental health. Thank you:

OCD and Break Ups- Brooke Chaplan

Pocket book of love and Happiness- Trigger Publishing review

5 Ways Therapy can heal your family- Samantha Higgins

Why people are using weighted blankets- Calming Blanket

How to make your surroundings more calming if you have anxiety- Daniel Tannenbaum

Mental health tips to get you through lockdown- Chantal Shaw

How debt impacts your mental health- Ian Sims

Life under lockdown: by Chloe Walker

Lockdown and mental health by Graham Morgan MBE

Best employee benefits for mental health: Daniel Tannenbaum

We will beat this, it will get better: Jenny Nguyen

Covid 19, mental health and work: Danielle Strouther

5 ways to evaluate body mind and soul: Daniel Torres

5 ways you can reduce anxiety- Samantha Higgins

How to help teens with mental illness succeed at school- Brooke Chaplan

Stuck in self isolation? Useful DIY projects- Brandon Smith

My crippling anxiety floored me, now I wouldnt be without it: Emma Johnson, Worry Knot Jewellery

UK went into lockdown, I went into meltdown- Nicole

How to help loved ones with alzheimers- Hannah Boothe

How to avoid burnout during a pandemic- Jade Mansfield at Worsley centre

Maintaining a healthy work life balanace- Love It Cover It


On DBT, art and healing- Violette Kay

How to protect your mental health during the pandemic- Mary Davis

How managing my space helps my mental health- Poppy Duffree- Organise with Poppy

Relaxing places to visit to calm coronavirus anxiety

Bamboo sheets for less anxiety at night

Self care tips for 2020- Anthony L

Redecorating your bedroom for improved mental health- Rosette

 5 things that could be triggering your depression- Samantha Higgins

Escaping outdoors is beneficial to mental health- Amy Sloane

How to work and be a mother during the pandemic- Miranda Davis 

Overcoming the impact of substance abuse on mental health- Anita Ginsburg

How to minimise stress for the elderly in senior living- Johnny Kershaws

15 Ways to turn your home into a self care sanctuary- ImproveNet

Living with OCD during a global pandemic- Impulse Therapy

Managing emotions for better mental health

Taking care of your mental health when a loved one passes away

Checking in on your elderly loved ones mental health during the pandemic

Identifying the source of your eating disorder and finding recovery- Anita Ginsburg

Self care activities to do for those who love to be alone- Regina Thomas

Out of Office by Fiona Thomas- book review by Eleanor   

Using yoga to improve productivity at home: Daisy Moss

The difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist- Anita Ginsburg 

Moving to another country- are you escaping your baggage?

10 tips to avoid covid burn out at home and help your mental health

How to help others when you have lived experience of mental health

Coping with menopausal anxiety and panic attacks by LadyCare menopause

Home improvements to help mental health

5 ways a relationship can hurt your mental health- Miranda Davis

Life is Finite

The secret signs of anxiety

Digital detox ideas for mental wellbeing

How can you better your mental health?

Developing a new found confidence in yourself for the festive season

How to plan for your future in difficult times

Depression and what you should know

Planning for the future to ease your mind

and I wrote some personal articles too!



Thank you for continuing to read and for the support for so long, it means everything to me.

Lets keep breaking the stigma!

Love, Eleanor xx

The past few months: Mental health and Covid.


(image: istock)


Hi everyone,

I havn’t written a blog for a bit just because my start to the year was completely crazy.

Firstly, my dear Grandpa who was 94 passed away in January. Grandpa has been my guiding light, friend, surrogate parent and more. He was an incredible man and I will miss him terribly. Then, the next week, my family and I unfortunately contracted Covid 19 and tested positive.

Thankfully, we were all able to manage the horrible symptoms at home. I spent 2 weeks sleeping, aching, dry cough, no appetite, had chills and fever, headache and such fatigue all I wanted to do was sleep…. it was like a super powered flu and I was so scared as being only 32, I am unvaccinated. Covid was just awful and my Mum had nausea too and loss of taste and smell but she has pulled through.

With immense gratitude, we have all recovered.

I found that having Covid and it being so debilitating that I really lost my confidence in myself and my work as I was off for a few weeks. Slowly but surely this is coming back.

Having Covid made me realise how much I appreciate my life and how thankful I am that my symptoms (and Mums and others in my family) did not become more severe.

I will always miss Grandpa, but I hope we can continue on his legacy.

Love,

Eleanor x

3 Things to Plan for your Future to ease your Mind.



There are many events in life that take us down different paths but there are certain things that are inevitable and some of these you can plan for to put your mind at ease. Current world events are a perfect example of some of the things that can happen as we see unexpected Covid-19 deaths and mass job loss.

But there are also things that can happen in life that we don’t necessarily want to think about or plan ahead for but they are a fact of life and shouldn’t be shied away from. By addressing some of these issues and planning for them we can ease our minds by planning for both the psychological impact and the financial burden that they can potentially place on us.

Some of the most significant events in life that we can plan for include:

  • Funeral
  • Retirement
  • Uncertain Times

Death is an inevitable part of life and can be eased with good planning while retirement can be thought of as a new chapter and we are all subject to uncertain events that can have a massive impact on our lives.

Plan for the Inevitable

We will all die and have loved ones and people close to us die as well, including parents, siblings, and hopefully not but possibly children as well as friends, relatives, and colleagues. A recent survey concluded that 20% of Americans are very afraid of dying and as such have developed a phobia of it.

However, accepting death as an inevitable part and a conclusion to your life can put a great ease on your mind. How you do this is up to you, whether it’s from a purely scientific point of view, religious or spiritual but a pragmatic approach to the eventuality of death can ease the burden of the unknown.

One of the first things you can do is arrange your own funeral process that you want to happen when you pass away. This might sound morbid, but making a plan of what you want to happen can ease the burden from yourself and more importantly your family. Not only can it ease the financial burden, which is very expensive, but the emotional as well. Your family will be in a state of grief and planning a funeral is the last thing they will want to do while stranded in the grieving process.

You could plan such things as whether you want to be buried or cremated and where, any services related to your religion and how you would like your life to be celebrated. It is becoming more common for people to forego a traditional funeral and opt for an intimate burial or cremation with their immediate family. Some providers can also arrange a payment plan well in advance of the inevitable and insurance companies offer this as part of their cover for older individuals.

Make Sure You Can Put Your Feet Up

Most of us love working, but we know that there will come a time when we can hopefully put our feet up and spend some time reflecting on a life well-lived when we retire. However, the prospect of retirement can be scary for some people because they might not know what they are going to do or whether they will have enough money.

Reportedly, 57% of retirement planning services found that running out of money was the top concern for their customers entering retirement. The great news is that there are lots of things you can do to alleviate retirement concerns with a little forward planning.

One of the best things you can do is to aim to retire without any debts. Even today, the average 60-year-old has around $19,000 of debt and that is a huge burden should you be facing retirement. Debt plans should be made at as early an age as possible and you should aim for a debt-free life before 50. 

Another way of easing your mind about the financial impact of retirement is to start a pension plan as soon as you can. Many organizations and companies offer pension plans as part of your employment agreement but you should consider a private pension as well. This will ensure that you get even more money when you retire which should be adequate to live on without having to continue work, post-retirement.

Savings also play an important part in retired life as they are the culmination of your life’s work. Try not to access your savings as the more that is saved, the more you will accrue in interest so you should switch to the highest interest savings account you can and take advantage of certificate deposits and other bank bonuses

Nobody Knows the Future

If the worldwide epidemic of 2020 and 2021 has taught us anything it is that we can never know what life is going to throw at us. The current disaster in Texas, USA is also a tragic example of the unpredictable nature of the weather which has cost over 40 lives and left millions without access to water and basic utilities.

No matter where you live, it is good sense to plan for anything that could potentially happen, especially if you live in a particularly vulnerable place. For example, should you live near the ocean, it might be a good idea to have a plan for flooding or if near a fault line, a plan for earthquakes.

But it isn’t just natural disasters that we should be mindful of. Financial disaster can also befall anybody such as with the 2008 crash or the current economic conditions brought on by Covid-19. The Asia-Pacific region, for example, has seen 81 million people lose their source of income because of the impact of the virus.

It is always a good idea to plan for your future if you are able to and save what you can when you can as a little extra can go a long way. Should you lose your job due to cuts or other reasons, it is likely you will be out of work for some time with the average time between jobs being 4 months. We are of course aware that mental ill health can mean you are out of work or have less money to be able to save so this is just a guide..

These life events can all be stressful and impact on your mental health, so make sure you reach for help should you need it from your doctor or a therapist.

This article was written by a freelance writer.

Depression and What You Should Know

(image: healthyplace.com)

We have a lot of mental health awareness in the modern day. Barely a week goes by without it being mentioned that mental health is important, and that it’s “OK not to be OK”. By now, for sure, we’re all quite aware of mental health. What might be needed more from this point on is mental health understanding, because while people and organisations are more than ready to acknowledge the existence of conditions like depression, fewer are forthcoming with any practical help.

One of the problems that we have right now is that mental health issues were ignored and mocked for so long that – now we have some acceptance of their impact – a lot of people don’t have the language to deal with them. Well-meaning people might say “depression is an illness, just like X”, and not really understand that it can be seen as an unhelpful statement. It would be helpful for people with depression if the following facts were widely known.

A good day with depression doesn’t mean the problem is gone

A lot of the language used around mental illness, and particularly depression, portrays it as a steady, relentless grind – and it sure feels like that most of the time. As a result, when someone who has been suffering opens up, has a laugh and is “more like their old self”, their loved ones might see light at the end of the tunnel. Depression is a complicated condition, unfortunately, and even that brief spell of happiness might trigger a period of guilt, which deepens a depressive episode. This complication is part of what makes it so insidious.

“Looking on the bright side” isn’t a productive strategy

It’s easy to understand why people try to talk around someone dealing with depression by pointing to all the positives in life. It would seem like a productive strategy, because if they see a bright side, they will surely feel better. Right? Unfortunately not. While there are plenty of useful tips for dealing with depression, this is not one of them. Reminding people of how life is good and could be worse is more likely to make them feel like, on top of all the bad things they are feeling, they’re also ungrateful. It doesn’t help.

Depression doesn’t come from any single source

Some people believe that depression is a response to negative life situations. Others argue that it is a result of underproduction of serotonin in the brain. Both sides are right, and both are also wrong; depression isn’t solely chemically-driven, nor is it purely down to circumstances, and this means that you can’t fight it with medication alone. At the same time, it may not be possible to fight it without medication. Finding the right combination to beat depression (or at least sideline it) isn’t an overnight thing, but it is achievable. 

The best advice you can give someone with depression is that, in time, things will get better and that’s all you want for them. Acknowledge that it will take time, and that you’ll be there for them, but don’t ever try to argue them out of it.

This article was written by a freelance writer

How to Plan for your Future and Look after Mental Health in Difficult Times this 2021.

(image: Pexels)


It is no secret that life has been tough for many people lately. Having to deal with circumstances that are out of your control can be especially hard to handle. But, in the most difficult times, it is more important than ever to focus on a brighter future. Spending so much time at home may have got you thinking about your plans for the future and how you want your life to look in years to come. Considering what you want from life can be so helpful and give you a focus to aim for. Having a focus can be particularly helpful in challenging times, such as the current situation. 


Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself now is an investment in your future and the bedrock for everything else in your life. Looking after your health now can reap huge benefits for the future. Having good health will enable you to live life to the full and experience it fully. 

Being out of your usual routine can make it harder to remember to look after yourself and to stick with good habits. Self-care is essential for good mental health, so you may find it helpful to try and stick with a routine and incorporate healthy habits into your day. 

Take Care of Your Finances

Money worries are an issue that many people experience. Finding ways to improve your financial situation can help you to feel positive about the future. Taking control of your finances now will help you to plan for the future with confidence. If thinking about retirement is something that worries you, then researching ways to alleviate these concerns now could be beneficial. You may want to consider a Reverse Mortgage for Seniors or setting aside more money now to prepare for the future. Preparing your finances now will help you to gain the peace of mind to live your retirement to the full.

Focus on Your Goals

Everyone likes to have things to look forward to, so setting yourself goals for the future is an excellent way to stay focused and enthusiastic about life beyond this challenging time. It is essential that your goals are things that make you happy and don’t put you under an unhealthy amount of pressure. Overcommitting yourself to goals that you don’t feel comfortable with can be a source of anxiety and worry, which could impact your mental health. Instead, it is far better to consider goals that you will enjoy working towards and will bring you a real sense of achievement. 

Reconnect with Yourself

When planning for the future, it is vital to make sure that your plans are yours, and not a result of other people’s expectations. Making plans for your future should be about reconnecting with what you want from your life and fulfilling your own ambitions. Checking in with yourself to make sure that you are planning a future that works for you and not just for others is essential to helping you to live authentically.

If you need to talk to someone about your mental health call Samaritans 116 123

This article was written by a freelance writer.