This weekend is the Jami Mental Health Shabbat 2025. This is an initiative very close to my heart as I was a volunteer with this project from its inception in 2017-2018, helping to get the shabbat into communities. The Shabbat grew from an idea to be more open about mental health across Jewish communities in the UK, with Rabbi Daniel Epstein at the healm (and the brilliant team at Jami), to a nationwide yearly initiative in synagogues, schools and homes. It raises awareness of mental illness and distress, encouraging conversations and breaking down the stigma in our communities by placing this discussion at the heart of them, through lived experience and Rabbis speaking about it in their pulpit.
The Shabbat has other initiatives including hosting a shabbat meal and asking guests to donate to Jami instead of a gift, a toolkit with resources to use, Challah makes and an open mic night on Sunday 3rd at the Head Room Cafe for the whole community.
As Jami say, “Jami Mental Health Shabbat coincides with Parashat Bo. On this Shabbat we read about the plague of darkness, which can be likened to the experiences of many living with mental illness and distress. The parasha also talks about how the Israelites, full of hope, could see through the darkness into the light. This special Shabbat is an opportunity for us to encourage conversations on mental health, raise awareness of mental illness and distress and share ideas on how to support ourselves and others within our community. “
Over the years, my Dad and I have given our talk about our lived experience of bipolar for this shabbat and in communities to hundreds of people including Bushey United and Chigwell United Synagogues, Belsize Square Synagogue and Edgware Yeshurun Synagogue. We also have spoken at Limmud Conference in Birmingham to share our story and had a question and answer session. This wasn’t easy for me with my anxiety as you can imagine!
This year, for personal reasons we are taking a break from speaking our mental health story, but we both support this shabbat and amazing charity. You can also read our story in my book ‘Bring me to Light: Embracing my Bipolar and Social Anxiety’
If you’d like to take part in the shabbat this year, please go to www.jamiuk.org/jmhs .
Let’s keep raising awareness of mental illness and distress and shine our light to the world. No one should ever feel alone in their community due to mental ill health.
There is nothing more heartbreaking than to see your child suffering. What’s more, when their mind is playing tricks on them, and they’re experiencing spells of anxiety, it can leave you feeling helpless as the parent/carer. While you may be doing all the right things such as taking them to therapy and encouraging them to talk about their feelings, sometimes their environment can play a huge role in their emotions. Children spend a lot of their time in their bedrooms, especially when they’re feeling anxious about the outside world. Transforming their bedroom into an anxiety-reducing space could be the key to allowing them an environment to disconnect from ruminating thoughts completely.
Be sure to listen to what your children want for their bedrooms before taking the design into your own hands. If they believe a Minecraft bedroom will make them feel happy and give them a sense of security in their space, listen! Otherwise, consider the following tips for designing your bedroom into an anxiety-reducing space.
Colour schemes
Starting with the room’s backdrop, consider painting your child’s room a colour that inflicts a sense of calmness and serenity. There are a number of colours that are proven to create this mood, for example, cool colours such as blue, green and lavender grey are known to create a relaxing feel. Also, pastel shades of favourites such as pink and green are perfect for creating a sense of tranquillity.
Connections to nature
Nature has shown to have immense benefits for reducing anxiety, from going for walks to playing in the park, if your child is struggling to face the great outdoors, consider bringing it to them. For example, add touches of greenery in the space. There can be faux versions of vines winding round their bed, or perhaps give them real plants to take care of and give them a greater sense of purpose. If your child has been begging for an animal, why not start small and get them a fish? It has been proven that watching fish swim back and forth can relax the mind and ease muscle tension.
Blue LED lighting
Lighting can be a hard element of the bedroom to influence. If your child’s bedroom is currently brightly lit with fluorescent light this may not be helping their state of mind. Blue light therapy has been raved for its ability to influence mood and the body’s biological clock. Dimming their bedroom lighting with blue lighting may support their night of rest. Several sensory light appliances can create this experience, in addition to adding texture to the projection that mimics ocean waves.
Create “safe spots”
Sometimes, your child just wants to be alone, and that’s okay. Creating a safe space away from the world can be simple with the addition of a children’s teepee, or if your child has a bunk bed with underspace, make this area more private with curtains. Fill this space with comfy seating, pillows, and games for your child to play. It can be tempting to buy them an Xbox or PlayStation to enjoy in their bedroom, but this can worsen your child’s anxiety and keep their mind active when it’s time for rest. Keep technology away from their bedroom, and keep it comforting and quiet.
Keep schooling separate
Another mistake parents make with their child’s bedroom is adding a desk for them to complete school work. When your child is suffering from anxiety, school can often inflict feelings of discomfort or remind them of unpleasant experiences. Allow your child to do their school work downstairs where you can support them and be there for them. Allocated places for different activities can help them feel a sense of security. Reserve the bedroom for sleep. Having a small table and chair for your child to do artwork can act as a place to explore their creativity.
Encourage rest & relaxation
Encouraging relaxation is essential when transforming your child’s bedroom into an anxiety-reducing space. This involves creating an atmosphere that promotes comfort and signals to your child that their room is a sanctuary for winding down and recharging. Start by investing in high-quality, soft bedding and cosy blankets that make your bed an inviting haven. Add plush pillows or weighted blankets, which are known to provide a sense of security and calmness.
(image: Pexels: Vika Glitter)
An anxiety-reducing space
Transforming your child’s bedroom into an anxiety-reducing space can have a profound impact on their emotional wellbeing. By focusing on calming colours, natural elements, thoughtful lighting, and creating safe and comforting zones, you’re helping to create a sanctuary where they can decompress and feel at ease. Remember, every child is unique, so it’s important to involve them in the process and tailor the space to their individual needs and preferences.
Small changes in their environment can make a big difference in their ability to manage anxiety and feel secure. While this is just one piece of the puzzle, pairing it with emotional support, therapy, and open communication can empower your child to navigate their emotions with greater resilience. A cosy, peaceful bedroom can become their haven—a place to relax, recharge, and truly feel at home.
Author Bio
Amy Jones is a freelance writer and enjoys writing a range of topics, from mental wellness to home renovation and loves researching the latest news and updates. Having worked with a number of different businesses, including Petite Lumeire, Amy is now a freelance writer looking to specialise in children’s mental and physical wellness.
So many aspects of life can impact your mental and physical health and overall wellbeing. In this blog, we will be focusing on relationship stress, seasonal changes and our homes and how they can impact our wellness.
Your Relationship
Your relationship is one of the things that can impact your health the most. Of course it has the ability to impact your mental health, though we’re also talking about the physical side of things. This is especially apparent if your relationship is full of stress and causing you to struggle mentally. Stress from relationships can trigger skin conditions such as acne and break outs. It can be a reaction that your body is having, to tell you that it needs to slow down and heal.
Relationship troubles can lead to arguments and isolation and cause emotional difficulties. If you’re worried that your relationship is not good for your health, try talking to your partner calmly and in a safe environment. If this is not possible, reach out to a therapist or support network too.
The Season
Time of the year has a huge effect on our mental health, the season changes everything. In the fall (autumn) and the winter it’s far more common for people to be ill with depression due to the weather, than it is in the summer months. People also become more physically unwell too. This could be for a number of reasons, but it’s partially because people’s immune systems are weaker when it’s colder outside.
So, if you notice that you are getting poorly, that your joints are hurting, that you’re generally feeling unwell, it could be because of the colder weather and season.
Your Home
Your home doesn’t mean to harm you, but sometimes a build up of dust or toxic material, a leaking roof or something else can really cause you problems you can’t avoid. You can try cleaning, making repairs, and even throwing out old furniture and replacing it with new pieces. Oak dining chairs and tables are in fashion right now, so why not consider it?
At the end of the day, there are so many different things that can impact your health and you have to be ready for all of them. It’s important that you remain vigilant, and if something seems to be causing you any issues with your health, you have to work on it asap and reach out for support from your doctor.
Note: Arabella is written for 4-8 year olds. Every child is different and some children younger than 4 have enjoyed this book, but it is largely a Key Stage One book.
When I was a little girl, I had a lot of anxieties. As a self confessed empath and worrier, I could feel when something was wrong and sometimes this led to child anxiety. This included separation anxiety with symptoms such as nausea at school. Children who have anxiety need to feel safe, settled and above all, heard by parents/carers and the adults in their life at school.
I wrote Arabella and the Worry Cloud based on me as a young 7 year old girl who worried a lot. In the book, Arabella worries about her socks not fitting on her feet, losing her shoes in a muddy puddle, the rain soaking her and cold freezing her toes, the rainbow in the sky losing its colour, her cat Pickles getting lost and the plants in the garden dying, losing her homework, failing a test and being blown away by the wind. These worries are partly represented by a Worry Cloud who comes down to see her from the sky and threatens to rain on her with all her worries.
Eventually, Arabella realises that if she thinks jolly, happy, sunny thoughts in place of the worries, she can push the Worry Cloud away with the joyous light beams of positive thinking. Arabella unlocks happy memories with her family, visualising wonderful times with them and it gives her confidence to face the Worry Cloud head on, so he can go away and leave her in peace.
So many children will have their own version of the Worry Cloud. Here’s 5 reasons why you should read Arabella and the Worry Cloud with them:
It is a hopeful story– Arabella never loses sight of hope even when the Cloud tells her life is scary, saying ‘If I can see the sun and smell the passing rain, everything will be alright. The storm will not last forever’. This is the key message of our story- all thoughts will pass, you are safe and fear will not stay forever. This is particularly helpful for children who feel stuck with anxiety.
2. It can help children to process their emotions about worries safely, with help of parent or carer- The Worry Cloud represents Arabella’s thoughts and the book shows how Arabella sends him away with help of positive thinking and visualising happy memories. Some children may need further intervention from a team of professionals, but the book introduces worry/anxiety in such a way that it can be read to assist children when they worry (and distract them from negative thought patterns).
3. It is a positive, age appropriate book about child anxiety and worries with an uplifting message, filled with rhyming prose and beautiful, vibrant illustrations by renowned artist Shelley The Artist. Shelley combines old fashioned art with work on her ipad and the result is a beautiful array of illustrations your child will love.
4. It is a book about mental health in a child appropriate metaphor – As an author with a background in mental health writing and lived experience, I understand the needs of having books which discuss mental health issues in a safe and supportive way. As this book is aimed at 4-8 year olds, it slowly introduces worries some children may face at this age.
5. It has had some lovely reviews from children, parents and readers:
“I really enjoyed the book and really liked Arabella and I found the cat funny. I learnt to not worry about things and that we should only think happy things.” Matilda, aged 8
“A stunningly beautiful book with such important mental health and wellbeing messages. Suitable for primary school age children: I recommend adults read it too as it’s incredibly special and meaningful! Thank you for writing this and inspiring us all.” Mrs Davies, parent
“Arabella and the Worry Cloud conveys a wonderful message, is written with lovely imagery and is beautifully illustrated. The cloud is a really good way to portray anxiety – children will be able to relate to this and feel encouraged to overcome their worries with positive thinking like Arabella does.” Dr DF
“This book is perfect if you have a young child who is a bit anxious or worries easily as it’s relatable and puts anxiety in simple terms that a young child can easily understand.” Diary of Lydia
“Beautifully written and illustrated, this book will appeal to children and parents/guardians alike. More importantly, it’s going to help kids overcome their anxiety from an early age and understand that they are not alone. Highly recommended.” Britt Pfluger
“This is my favourite book ever ever ever. The words of my 4-year-old son who is a bit of a worrier himself! He had lots of questions and was very engaged throughout. Have already read it three times with him. Well done on a lovely debut kids’ book!” Joanna Gutkin, parent
To get your copy of Arabella and the Worry Cloud, go to Amazon here. I can’t wait for you to read it with your child/niece/nephew/grandchild and to share it with them and their friends too!
A few years ago, I was delighted to discover this incredible charity- Christmas for CAMHS through a post by its founder Ro Bevan. This charity means a lot to me because 20 years ago this festive season, I was a very unwell 16 year old on a NHS child and adolescent (CAMHS) in patient psychiatric ward in the Priory North London, struggling with a bipolar mixed episode. I had psychosis and hadn’t yet been diagnosed with bipolar. Although I am Jewish and don’t celebrate Christmas, I remember that the ward gave us small presents and that other children/adolescents wrote me lovely messages of kindness and hope wrapped up in seasons greetings. Being away from home and especially during the festive season is filled with loneliness and sadness, especially if you are in hospital. In 2004, Christmas for CAMHS did not exist but their work now is vital.
So who are this amazing charity?
Christmas for CAMHS is a small charity who gives gifts and goodies to children and young people in hospital for their mental health over the festive season. This is our 9th year of giving gifts to young people in CAMHS (children and adolescent mental health services) inpatient units across the UK and this year we’re giving over 1300 gifts!
Christmas For CAMHS was originally set up because Dr Ro Bevan saw a huge disparity in the way CAMHS units were treated over the festive period compared to other NHS services for children and young people.
In 2015 Ro was working in a children’s hospital for those with a physical illness. That Christmas the children’s hospital had tons of presents donated, mostly from corporate donors – so many presents that there was enough leftover for patients’ birthdays until June of the following year! A year later, she was working in child and adolescent mental health and, in stark contrast, they had no presents donated at all. The patients had one present each, chosen by the therapy team and paid for by the ward – scrimped and saved from the NHS budget that is meant to cover therapeutic activities and other expenses.
Ro posted about the inequality on Facebook and before she knew it, her post had gone viral with 1,032 shares and so many supportive comments. It inspired her to start Christmas For CAMHS the following year to support these children and young people who would otherwise be forgotten by the generous public.
When the charity first began in 2016, they set up a simple fundraiser online which raised £1000 and managed to send around 300 gifts to young people in units that year. Since then, they have grown to be able to reach every CAMHS unit in the UK, but still work in a pretty similar way! There is the online fundraising page running each year where people donate either as individuals or on behalf of fundraisers they have run in their local community or with work colleagues. Additionally, there are corporate donations and people setting up their own fundraising pages to do amazing challenges to raise money (a couple of years ago one fundraiser ran a marathon around a Christmas tree!).
There is also a wish list where people can donate specific chosen gifts for children who may be feeling very alone.
(image: Christmas For CAMHS)
The charity reaches out to every CAMHS unit in the UK to ask the staff that work there how many young people they might have over Christmas. They also ask them what they think their young people might like, picking from a list of tried and tested categories, and the age range of their young people. The elves then work night and day to ensure that gifts are bought that align with what each CAMHS unit has requested and that are safe for young people in hospital for their mental health to be given.
Once the gifts have arrived there is a major ‘packing weekend, in Bath. During this, volunteers come and help pack up massive boxes with all the assigned gifts, some Christmas decorations, some activities (such as colour in paper chains or blank cards), a Wellbeing Advent Calendar, some fidget toys and an extra ‘ward gift’ for each ward to enjoy together. We don’t wrap the gifts, so the wards can check them, but we do provide wrapping paper and sticky gift tags. We also provide a bigger gift, when requested, for young people on the wards who may not receive a gift from anyone else this Christmas, such as young people who have no family support. The gifts then get delivered to each CAMHS ward ahead of Christmas day.
This year, the charity is also sending wards some paper chain ‘strips’ with cheesy cracker jokes written on them, made by members of the public and assembled by young people on the wards, providing a tangible reminder that we are all still connected despite what the young people are going through. Young people loved these last year.
It is always so nice to receive messages from young people about the gifts that they’ve given. A young person recently told the charity:
“The gift made me smile so much. I’d had such a bad day and it was an utterly terrifying time in my life – I was about to turn 18 and had never felt more alone. It was so weird but lovely to think that people who didn’t know me cared enough to make me and my friends feel special and connected. You really do such an amazing job. You’re so kind, thank you.”
The whole team and all donors are thinking of every child and young person who will be spending the Christmas period in hospital due to their mental health, which is exactly why Christmas at CAMHS does what it does – we want them to know that we’re thinking of them and that lots and lots of people are holding them in their hearts.
Parenting is a journey filled with countless moments of joy, laughter, and pride. However, it also comes with its fair share of challenges, especially when you encounter behavioural issues in your child. Seeing a child struggle can be a source of stress and worry for any parent. It’s essential to remember that you are not alone; many parents face similar obstacles and there are resources available to help both you and your child navigate these challenging times. In today’s blog post, we’ll explore practical steps you can take to support your child through behavioural issues effectively.
Understanding the Situation
The first step in addressing behavioural issues is understanding that they are often a part of normal development. Children go through various stages as they grow, each accompanied by different behaviours. It’s crucial to recognise the difference between typical developmental behaviour and behaviour that might signal an underlying issue. Observing patterns over time—such as frequency, intensity, or duration—can provide valuable insights into whether a child’s behaviour is part of their growth or indicative of something more complex.
Patience
Once you’ve identified that your child may need additional support beyond typical parenting strategies, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and patience. Open lines of communication can make all the difference in understanding what might be causing certain behaviours. Encourage your child to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment or punishment. This open dialogue not only helps build trust but also provides you with clues about any underlying issues such as anxiety, bullying at school, or difficulties with academics.
Professional Help
After establishing communication, it’s beneficial to seek professional guidance, like that offered by Infinite Healing & Wellness, if needed. Consulting with paediatricians or mental health professionals who specialise in children can offer clarity on whether there are specific needs requiring attention. These professionals can conduct assessments to determine if there are psychological or neurological factors contributing to the behaviour changes in question. They may suggest therapy sessions tailored specifically for children which could include play therapy, cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), or family therapy sessions.
Effective Techniques
In addition to seeking professional help for your child, consider equipping yourself with effective parenting techniques specifically designed for managing challenging behaviours. Parenting classes or workshops often provide valuable strategies for positive reinforcement and setting consistent boundaries while maintaining a nurturing environment at home. Learning how best to respond during difficult situations helps minimise stress for both parent and child alike while fostering an atmosphere where constructive change is encouraged.
Self-Care
Lastly but vitally important is self-care for parents during this process; supporting a child through behavioural challenges requires emotional resilience from caregivers themselves! It’s easy sometimes amid caring duties to neglect one’s own needs. However, taking time out regularly ensures you’re not just physically present but mentally equipped to handle whatever comes along the next day together stronger than before!
Supporting a child through behavioural issues is no small feat but rest assured knowing every step taken towards understanding them better brings hope closer within reach! Remember being proactive makes all the difference; stay informed, communicate openly, lean upon experts, adopt new strategies whenever necessary, and don’t forget to look after yourselves along the way too.
A happy, healthy, balanced family dynamic benefits everyone involved in a long-term success story worth striving toward together!
This article was written by Brooke Chaplan, freelance writer.
I have followed Esther Marshall’s journey for a while as a children’s author, speaker and mental health advocate for the next generation. On World Mental Health Day, Esther released a surprise and wonderful new product- Feelings and Affirmation cards to help children to communicate their feelings and emotions (and understand them).
420,000 children and young people in England are treated for mental health problems every month. Mum of three and author of the Sophie Says children’s book series is on a mission to make a positive impact on the world specifically for the next generation. The empowering children’s book series ensure critically important lessons in self-belief, mental health and gender equality are shown in an authentic and fun way.
Sophie Says Feelings and Affirmations Cards have been made specifically to help a parent or carer and child talk about their feelings together in a fun way through the much-loved Sophie Says characters. Affirmations and feelings cards are a proven tool for developing positive thinking, The Sophie Says affirmations cards have been designed to make exploring feelings a fun and interactive experience for children, parents, and carers, to empower self-belief and to help children believe they can achieve their dreams.
(image: Sophie Says)
Esther began her writing career with her debut book Sophie Says “I Can, I Will”, she wrote this during night feeds with her firstborn son as she wanted to teach him that girls were just as strong and powerful as boys, that people from different backgrounds to him could teach him things and he should listen and be kind to everyone.
The second book Sophie Says It’s Okay Not To Be Okay was written in memory of Esther’s younger sister Rebecca, who tragically took her life after her battle with mental illness at the all too young age of 28. The passion and driving force behind Sophie Says is to keep Rebecca’s legacy alive, teach young children about the importance of mental health, and talk about their feelings from a young age. The Sophie Says series now includes three books ‘I Can, I Will’, ‘It’s Okay Not To Be Okay’, and ‘Be Proud Of Who You Are’.
Esther Marshall says: “My mission is to help create a world where all children grow up feeling equipped and empowered to face their futures. Our new Sophie Says affirmations cards will help parents and carers communicate with their children and encourage them to express their feelings from an early age to help children, avoid harmful stereotypes before they set in.”
I love these cards and can’t wait to use them too!
A new film by the charity Nip in the Bud exposes the hidden dangers of social media and smartphone use among children. A Stolen Childhood provides startling insights from children, headteachers and doctors, shedding light on the everyday harm caused by digital platforms.
Launching today, the film highlights several alarming statistics. A shocking 90% of girls and 50% of boys report receiving explicit pictures or videos they did not want to see. Additionally, 1 in 5 children have experienced online bullying, with 24% of those bullied resorting to self-harm and 22% altering their appearance as a result.
Furthermore, boys as young as 13 have been targeted for sextortion scams, and 80% of teenage girls feel pressured to provide sexual images of themselves.
Emma Robertson, co-founder of Digital Awareness UK, emphasises the hidden nature of these issues: “The thousands of children we talk to in schools tell us that their parents often don’t know how much time they’re spending on their devices overnight, or what they are doing online. This is a new and hidden world which adults can find hard to penetrate.”
MRI scans show screen time reduces brain areas responsible for visual processing, empathy, attention, memory and early reading skills.
In response to these findings, many psychologists, headteachers and GPs are advocating for stricter guidelines:
No smartphones until age 14
No social media until age 16
These recommendations aim to protect children from various online risks, including increased loneliness, exposure to harmful content, access to strangers, behavioural addiction and cyberbullying.
At Nip in the Bud we produce free, evidence-based films and other resources aimed at parents, carers and teachers of primary-aged who may be struggling with mental illness or unmet neurodiverse needs.
Our mission is to empower families and communities around our children to recognise and respond to early signs of mental illness or challenges in a neurotypical world, with resources made in conjunction with mental health experts, educationalists and families going through similar experiences – facilitating early intervention, so that problems can be “nipped in the bud”, allowing our children to blossom.
In an environment where life’s hectic pace can strain family relationships, family therapy seems like a ray of hope for preserving relationships and promoting comprehension. Although the phrase “family therapy” can conjure up ideas of resolving disputes, the advantages of this approach go much beyond that, including enhanced relationships, better communication, and emotional healing.
Enhancing Communication Skills for Stronger Connections
Healthy relationships are based on effective communication, and family counseling services are essential for improving this ability. Communication failures are a common cause of miscommunication, conflict, and emotional distancing in families. Families can acquire and hone skills that enhance their capacity for eloquent and sympathetic thinking and emotional expression via counselling. Therapists help family members express their needs and actively listen to one another via various techniques, including role-playing and guided conversations. A family’s ability to communicate better can result in more meaningful and fruitful relationships. For instance, activities aimed at recognising and resolving communication patterns that fuel conflict are often included in counselling sessions. Family members can lessen the number of disagreements and misunderstandings by learning to have talks with more empathy and understanding.
Addressing and Resolving Conflict Effectively
Family life will always include conflict, but if unsolved concerns are not properly handled, they can become serious difficulties. Family therapy offers a neutral, safe environment for discussing and working through issues. Family members can share their opinions and feelings in talks led by therapists without worrying about being judged. Families are better able to resolve disputes in a way that fosters understanding rather than hate in this controlled setting. Families that get treatment concentrate on improving their ability to solve problems and resolve conflicts. Counselors often teach family members conflict-resolution strategies like compromise and negotiation, which help them identify points of agreement and strive toward amicable resolutions.
Strengthening Emotional Bonds and Family Cohesion
Family therapy has a crucial role in strengthening emotional ties and promoting unity within the family. Emotional distance often results from unsolved problems, unfulfilled desires, or traumatic experiences in the past. Family members can examine and resolve these underlying difficulties in therapy, which promotes emotional healing and fortifies bonds between them. Families might better comprehend one another’s experiences and viewpoints by using facilitated conversations and therapeutic activities. Activities intended to improve emotional connection, including telling personal tales or expressing appreciation, are often included in the therapy process. Through deeper connections fostered by these activities, family members can develop empathy and trust.
Improving Family Roles and Dynamics
Redefining and addressing family roles and dynamics is another aspect of family therapy that can have a big influence on relationships and family functioning. Rigid or dysfunctional role structures are a major source of discontent and conflict in many households. For instance, a family member can take on an emotionally taxing caregiver role, or there can be tasks that are not evenly distributed, leading to conflict. The chance to assess and modify these responsibilities to better suit the needs and abilities of each family member is offered by therapy. In order to recognise and treat problematic patterns in roles and dynamics, therapists collaborate with families. Families can investigate and reinterpret roles in a manner that fosters harmony and respect for one another via therapy. As an example, family members might work together to create new rules about who gets what or help each other adapt to new positions within the family.
Fostering Resilience and Coping Strategies
The development of resilience and useful coping mechanisms is yet another important advantage of family therapy. Families often deal with a variety of pressures that might harm their relationships and mental health, such as health problems, financial hardships, or life changes. Families that get therapy are given the skills and techniques to deal with these pressures and keep a good attitude. Therapists assist families in creating coping strategies that improve their capacity to deal with difficulties and adjust to changes. Teaching stress management strategies, developing problem-solving skills, and promoting healthy lifestyle choices are a few examples of therapeutic approaches. Families develop resilience, support one another through trying times, and manage to stay stable in the face of outside challenges.
Finally…
The advantages of family therapy for improving family dynamics and relationships are immeasurable. A family that receives family therapy can become more cohesive, resilient, and supportive—a place where people feel empowered to face life’s obstacles as a unit.
Sometimes, I get emails about stories and they really stand out to me. This was one of them. A friend of mine knew about this suicide prevention charity in Israel, called Gila’s Way. The Hammer family in the Jewish community sadly lost their daughter Gila z’l to suicide when she was just 18. Gila had mental health issues and the family want to save lives in her name and make sure it doesn’t happen to another family. Rabbi Shalom Hammer, Gila’s father and a world renowned lecturer, started sharing his insights from Gila’s tragic story in order to raise awareness, teach empathy, and promote dialogue regarding suicide in order to ensure its prevention.
Gila’s Way is a non-profit organisation which implements, educates and presents programs regarding mental health awareness and suicide prevention in order to save lives.
I asked Rabbi Shalom Hammer a few questions about his life saving mission:
Your charity Gila’s Way has such an important mission. Please can you tell me more about Gila as a person, her mental health struggles and how you as a family coped in the aftermath of her tragic death/ how the charity got set up?
Gila was an unbelievable girl, vibrant, vivacious, social, hilarious and extremely sensitive. She was a leader of her peers socially and she loved to have fun. She also saw the world in a very innocent wholesome way, she was not capable of harming anyone nor did she believe that people would harm her. Tragically she experienced a sexual episode which was obviously extremely traumatising for her. She also did not wish to or know how to openly communicate the degradation she felt and the pain she was experiencing. Consequently, a swell of anxiety and depression built up inside of her and she eventually began to lose hope which ultimately lead to her passing away.
After Gila died, we decided to take the inexplicable pain and the unfathomable loss to as much of a positive place as possible. My wife and I feel that Gila should be alive and the reason she is not is largely because of the lack of knowledge with mental health and certainly suicidal ideation that we had and that so many others have as well. Gila’s Way is an organisation therefore, who’s primary concern is education via seminars, lectures, interactive workshops and presentations, understanding that the more we educate and inform the greater chance we have of lowering the numbers and preventing suicide.
(image of Gila z’l: Gila’s Way and Hammer Family)
2. What would you like people to know about teen suicide and suicide prevention in Israel and globally?
The most important vital point that I cannot emphasise enough, is that the vast majority of people who die from suicide, do NOT want to die. Particularly when we are speaking about adolescents who are experiencing so much pressures and may impulsively make a decision within a few seconds and not realising that it is finite. When people understand that most people who die from suicide, did not want to die, they also understand that this means we are capable of saving that person.
3. What is your message to other parents coping with children with mental health issues or who have also experienced bereavement?
There are a number of very crucial messages for parents. Firstly, don’t be afraid or ashamed to talk and converse, secondly don’t converse with just everyone. Dealing with mental health and a child who is challenged, is very procedural and therefore exhausting. Make sure to speak to the right people and save your energies for those people. Don’t speak to just anyone because you will grow more confused and more exhausted; make sure to find those/that people/person who can be helpful and focus on speaking to them.
In addition, pay attention to what your child is “saying”. A child (or anyone for that matter) who is dealing with mental health challenges or experiencing a crisis, will not necessarily explicitly say “I need help”, but they will often send “cries for help” and share those signs because they really want help. Some of those “warning signs” can be familial/social isolation , spending long hours in their bedrooms and refusing to join the family for activities which they normally enjoyed. In addition, they may be exhibiting exhaustion, or become physically unkempt, and they also might desist from performing normal expectations (like going to school, doing their homework, participating in events etc.)
Finally, and this is something that I consistently emphasise, trust your parental instincts. We were blessed with instincts and often a Dr or professional might suggest something and our instinct is saying “this just does not sit well with me”…trust that instinct and pay attention to it, because it is there for a reason.
(image: Gila’s Way)
4. What do you at Gila’s Way want to achieve through your charity and how are you doing this through programmes/events?
Our primary focus is on education. We don’t want any parent or any significant other, to be in situations where they “don’t know” or “didn’t know enough” because knowledge is power and empowers us with the capacity to be aware, respond and even save a life. We do so through the many programs, presentations, seminars and interactive workshops and exhibitions that we offer for diverse groups (parents, educators, adolescents, leaders, professionals, here in Israel in the army and pre-military academies). Engaging audiences in the conversations breaks stigmas and allows for knowledge and consideration.
Finally, Gila’s Way offers a consultation service (NOT a hotline). Navigating the mental health system, especially in Israel, isn’t simple. If one knows someone struggling with their mental health, they can schedule a consultation with us to help guide them through initial steps towards healing and recovery.
‘Whoever saves a single life is considered to have saved an entire world’ (the Talmud)
beurownlight.com 