Say Goodbye to Stress and Anxiety: Unlock the Secrets of Effective Counsellors by Emma Murphy.

(image: Chelsea Gates: Unsplash)

Discover Proven Therapy Methods to Transform Your Life

Sometimes something as small as getting stuck in traffic, running late, or having technical issues during a video call can send your day spiralling. Recovering and taking the reins on your stress and anxiety takes effort! While therapists, psychologists, and counsellors are known for their expertise in helping others navigate these struggles, they also employ various life hacks to relieve their own stress and anxiety. Prepare to be amazed as we delve into the hidden world of mental health gurus and uncover the secrets behind their cool, calm, and collected demeanours.

Before we dive in, let’s talk about stress. Counselling specialists Association of Learning believe that stress affects certain people more than others. “You might feel the effects of stress more acutely than the average person,” They shared with Be Your Own Light. “Childhood experiences, genetic predispositions, and support networks all have the potential to affect your ability to process and manage stress.”

But before you go and blame mum and dad, Association of Learning suggests you learn more about the causes of stress and its effect on the mind through online counselling courses. Discover the logic behind your knee-jerk reactions, outbursts, and feelings while learning interesting tips and techniques (like the ones below!) for managing them.

Now that we’ve heard from the experts about how stress affects individuals differently, let’s look at some psychological tricks that can help you handle stress efficiently.

Psychological Hacks

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety and stress, you’re probably familiar with muscle tension. Progressive muscle relaxation (or PMR) is an anxiety-reduction technique from the 1930s that has become a staple in the pursuit of calm. The method includes tensing and relaxing the body’s primary muscle groups in rapid succession. By regularly engaging in PMR, you can train your body to recognise the difference between a relaxed and a tight muscle, and calm your mind.

Here’s a quick, 1-minute PMR routine that you can perform right at your desk:

  1. Sit comfortably with your feet on the ground and your hands in your lap.
  2. Take a deep breath in through your nose and release it through your mouth, letting your shoulders drop away from your ears. Relax your shoulders.
  3. Now, focus on your facial muscles. Begin by scrunching up your forehead and holding it for a few seconds. Feel the tension building up. Now, release and let your forehead smooth out, letting go of any remaining tension.
  4. Move your attention to your jaw. Gently clench by pressing your teeth together. Hold for a few seconds, noticing the tension. Now, slowly release and let your jaw unclench completely.
  5. Bring your awareness to your neck and shoulders. Take a deep breath in, and as you exhale, gently tilt your head to the right, feeling a stretch on the left side of your neck. Hold for a few seconds, then return to the centre. Repeat on the left side.
  6. Take one last deep inhale and exhale, imagining any lingering stress or worry leaving your body and being replaced by serenity and relaxation.

Thought-Stopping

The average British adult has 11 self-critical thoughts every day. These thoughts can range from benign, “I wish I earned more money,” to increasingly upsetting, “I’ll never achieve anything, so why bother trying?” Here’s where thought-stopping comes in. The popular self-control skill is used to combat distressing thoughts, enabling you to focus on ideas that contribute more to your well-being.

If you’re struggling with discouraging thoughts, try this 1-minute thought-stopping practise:

  1. Take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth.
  2. Notice the unwanted thought and recognise its presence in your mind.
  3. Mentally or verbally say the word “Stop!” in a firm and assertive tone. Imagine it as a strong command to interrupt the thought.
  4. Visualise a red stop sign, see it clearly, and imagine your thoughts coming to a halt.
  5. Replace with a positive thought: Immediately shift your focus to a more positive or neutral thought. It could be a pleasant memory, a calming image, or a positive affirmation. Hold onto the new thought for the remainder of the exercise.
  6. Take another deep breath, ending the exercise by inhaling positivity and exhaling any remaining tension or negativity.

Guided Imagery

Guided imagery requires you to engage all of your senses—smell, sight, touch, taste, and sound—to create a scene in your mind that feels like reality. Unfortunately, you won’t actually be able to sit down to an imaginary Sunday roast, but your mind will imagine each sense, forcing you to focus. Because the mind and body are indivisible, guided imagery can actually cause changes in your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing patterns.

Try it yourself! Here’s a quick 3-minute guided imagery exercise:

Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to relax with each exhale. Now imagine yourself in a peaceful garden. Visualise the following:

You are standing at the entrance of a beautiful garden. Picture the gate in front of you, adorned with intricate designs. Open the gate and step into the garden. As you enter, notice the scent of fresh flowers in the air.

Look around and see vibrant colours all around you. Observe the variety of flowers and plants that surround the path you’re on. Take a moment to appreciate their beauty, and let it bring a sense of tranquillity to your mind.

Continue walking along the path, feeling the softness of the grass beneath your feet. Notice the gentle breeze brushing against your skin, bringing a soothing sensation. As you stroll further, you spot a peaceful pond in the distance.

Approach the pond and sit down beside it. Watch as the water reflects the clear blue sky above. Listen to the calming sounds of nature, the gentle rustling of leaves, or the distant chirping of birds.

Now, imagine a small stone in your hand. Hold it and imagine transferring any worries, stress, or negative thoughts onto it. Feel them leaving your body and absorbing into the stone. Release it into the calm water of the pond, watching as the ripples carry away all that no longer serves you.

Take a moment to bask in the serenity of this garden. Feel the sense of peace, relaxation, and inner calm spreading throughout your entire body and mind. Allow yourself to stay in this tranquil place for a few more breaths.

When you’re ready to return, slowly bring your awareness back to your surroundings. Open your eyes and take a final deep breath, feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

Mindful Observation

At this point in the rise of pop-culture psychology, odds are you’ve heard the term mindfulness before. Mindfulness is a psychological practise in which the patient is brought into full awareness of the current moment, focusing on the here and now and banishing their anxious thoughts. Mindful observation is like the little brother of mindfulness, requiring you to increase awareness of your physical senses: sight, touch, scent, smell, and even taste!

Try this mindful observation practise to redirect your thoughts:

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can sit or stand without any distractions.
  2. Take a deep breath and close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing so. If not, you can keep them open but maintain a soft gaze.
  3. Begin by focusing your attention on your breath. Notice the sensation of the breath as you inhale and exhale. Feel the breath entering and leaving your body.
  4. Now shift your focus to your immediate surroundings. Start by observing the sounds around you. Pay attention to any noises, whether they are distant or nearby. Allow yourself to simply listen without judgement.
  5. Next, shift your attention to your sense of touch. Notice the sensation of your body against the chair or the ground beneath your feet. Observe any sensations you feel, whether it’s warmth, pressure, or tingling.
  6. Now, slowly bring your attention to your sense of sight. With your eyes open or closed, notice any colours, shapes, or patterns that you can perceive. Observe the play of light and shadows.
  7. Finally, bring your awareness to any scents or smells in your environment. Take a moment to notice any aromas that may be present. Breathe in deeply and acknowledge the scents around you.
  8. Take one last deep breath and slowly open your eyes if they are closed. Allow yourself to sit for a few moments, appreciating the sense of calm and presence you’ve cultivated.

Those are all of the hacks we can squeeze in today; hopefully you’ve been able to gain some insight into how to regain control and manage the stress and anxiety in your life. Remember, sometimes all it takes is a few minutes to re-centre yourself! If you need further help from a doctor or therapist, please reach out for help too.

Emma Murphy is a freelance writer.

The Flowers that bloom in Adversity: by Eleanor

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(image: Roxi Roxas Art)

I have wanted to write this post for several weeks, but so much has been going on personally and I have been really emotionally drained (and launching my new business too). Let start at the beginning.

At the end of May, my mother in law (who is carer for my father in law with terminal brain cancer) was taken very unwell. She was rushed to hospital with stroke like symptoms and put into an induced coma on a ventilator as her lungs were collapsing. We were super scared it was Covid as she was shielding anyway and it came completely out the blue, on the day of her 60th birthday after we had celebrated.

She is the main carer for my father in law and so my husband Rob had to move in to their house to care for his Dad and support his brother. (cue frantic phone calls to the doctors surgery, hospitals, Macmillan nurses and Jewish Care, all done by my incredible husband).

Thankfully, my MIL came off the ventilator to breathe unaided and she tested negative for Covid 19. We think she caught a severe bacterial infection and she then got pneumonia in her lungs. She was in hospital for 4 weeks and discharged 2 weeks ago and is making amazing progress with her physio team and her speech. She is still frail but she is recovering slowly.

This blog post I don’t want to make about my in laws because they are private people. Dealing with all these scary changes has been tough on my mental health (and everyones).

We are slowly slowly coming out the other side, although we know my FIL will worsen in time due to the nature of his illness.

So what flowers are blooming during this adversity?

-On Saturday will be our first wedding anniversary and we will spend it together. Its been a rollercoaster year but I am so thankful to have Rob by my side!

-I am loving my new Body Shop at Home business and my team and incredible managers. It really has been keeping me sane throughout this time of family lockdown and I can’t thank Sarah Cardwell enough for introducing me to the business. The products are so good for self care and healing too, which has been so needed and I have made lots of new friends. It keeps my mind stimulated and earns me income too- I am so grateful.

-Yesterday, Robs kind family member went over so we could spend some proper quality time together (thank you). We went for a walk in our favourite little village near by where there are cottages and flowers and village green and pond- I took lots of pictures of my dream cottages and gardens. Then, we got vanilla chocolate milkshakes (first time in a café post lockdown) and visited family. It was so special just to have US time, so rare in this current time for our family.

-This blog is continuing to grow and turning into a side business and for that I am ever grateful. I am also loving sharing peoples personal stories and hope it is a useful resource.

-Our guineapigs Midnight and Nutmeg are a source of joy and give great cuddles.

-Friends and familys kindness and messages help so much. I havnt had a therapy session in a while but will do.

I am feeling positive but there will be rough days ahead in the coming months. Today though, I am enjoying slightly more calm and peace again before the potential storm, and watching the flowers that are blooming in adversity. Â