Coping With Health Anxiety In Caring Roles: A Guide For Professionals Who Hold It All Together by Jolian Ardolino at Ardolino Counselling

Author: Jolian Ardolino

(image: Unsplash: Angelina Sarycheva)

If you’re reading this, you likely know what it’s like to care deeply for others – whether as a nurse, paramedic, therapist, social worker, or in one of the many roles that keep our communities going. But here’s something we don’t say out loud enough: caring for others can quietly take its toll on our own wellbeing, especially when it comes to health anxiety.


The Hidden Weight of Health Anxiety in Caring Professions

Caring professionals are often assumed to be unshakeable in a crisis – the calm in the storm, the voice of reason when others are spiralling. But what happens when your own mind starts to race? When a fleeting ache becomes a late-night Google search, and that spirals into a restless night? Or when the stories you hear at work bleed into fears about your own health or loved ones?

Health anxiety isn’t “just worrying” or “hypochondria.” It’s a very real, common challenge for those who look after others. NHS surveys found 76% of staff experienced a mental health issue last year, with over half reporting anxiety. We absorb others’ pain and witness uncertainty, sometimes internalising that anxiety until it shapes our own thoughts and behaviours.


Why Caring Professionals Are Prone to Health Anxiety

Caring roles put us face-to-face with illness, unpredictability, and loss. We’re trained to scan for problems – a strength that can turn inward, fuelling cycles of health anxiety. Many of us are also experts at minimising our own needs. My clients (and yes, I’ve been there myself) often struggle to switch off “helper mode” and create space for their own wellbeing. No wonder health anxiety can creep in.


Recognising the Signs

Health anxiety can show up in subtle – and not-so-subtle – ways:

Excessive checking: Monitoring your body for symptoms, repeatedly seeking reassurance, or going down “Dr Google” rabbit holes.
– Preoccupation: Struggling to focus on anything but health worries, even outside work.
– Avoidance: Steering clear of situations or tasks for fear of illness.
– Physical symptoms: Real sensations (like palpitations, headaches, or stomach issues) that reinforce anxious thoughts.
– Sleep disturbance: Lying awake, unable to switch off your mind.



My Integrative Approach: You’re Not Alone

As a therapist specialising in anxiety, stress, and burnout among caring professionals, I understand the unique pressures you face – not just as a therapist, but as someone who’s walked in your shoes. At Ardolino Counselling, my approach combines:

– CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy):
We map the cycle of anxious thoughts and behaviours, learning practical ways to break free from unhelpful patterns. CBT helps you question catastrophic thinking and gently test healthier beliefs.
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): We work on making space for uncertainty, learning to “unhook” from distressing thoughts, and focusing on what really matters – without trying to eliminate anxiety altogether.
Person-centred therapy: All our work is grounded in compassion, empathy, and respect for your unique story and strengths.

It’s not about “fixing” you – it’s about working together so you can keep doing the work you care about, without being overwhelmed.

Image: Unsplash: Tim Mossholder)

Practical Tips: Coping Day-to-Day

1. Challenge Catastrophic Thinking 
When a health worry pops up, pause and ask: “What’s the evidence for this thought? Am I assuming the worst?” Label these as “catastrophic thoughts,” and consider: “What’s a more balanced or likely explanation?” Notice how believable the new thought feels and how you might behave differently if you believed it.

2. Ground Yourself in the Present 
When anxiety spirals, try grounding techniques like box breathing or the “5-4-3-2-1” exercise: name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This anchors you in the here and now.

3. Limit Reassurance and ‘Dr Google’ 
Notice when you’re seeking reassurance – asking colleagues, Googling symptoms, or scanning your body. Set gentle limits on these habits, reminding yourself: “Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but I can handle it.” Reducing reassurance-seeking helps break the anxiety cycle.

4. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy 
Give yourself permission to say no, or to step back from work worries outside your shift. Small routines – like a walk after work or a tech-free hour – help reinforce this boundary and support your wellbeing.

5. Reach Out for Support 

If anxiety persists, talking things through with a trusted friend, colleague, or therapist can give you perspective and relief. You don’t have to manage it alone.

When to Reach Out

Everyone experiences worry sometimes. But it’s worth seeking help if:

– Health anxiety is interfering with your work, relationships, or daily life.
– You’re finding it hard to “switch off,” even away from work.
– You’re avoiding situations or tasks because of health fears.
– Your anxiety is getting worse, not better, over time.

Mental health struggles are common and nothing to be ashamed of. Reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a step towards regaining balance and resilience. Many caring professionals find that talking to someone outside their immediate work circle helps them process fears and develop healthier ways of coping.

Ready for Real Change?

If health anxiety is making it harder to do the job you love, you deserve support tailored to you as a caring professional. At Ardolino Counselling, I offer a free, no-pressure 15-minute consultation to see if therapy feels right for you. Sessions are available UK-wide (online or in Barry, South Wales) with flexible scheduling, including Fridays, evenings, and weekends.

Special Blue Light Card Offer: 
Blue Light Card holders receive 50% off their first 8 sessions. Block bookings are also available for added savings.

You give so much care and skill to others. Let’s make sure you get the same support in return.

Book your free consultation here and take the first step towards a calmer, more confident you.

This post contains a sponsored link and was written by Jolian Ardolino, therapist.

Heston Blumenthal OBE: My Life With Bipolar BBC Documentary Review by Eleanor

(image: Melanie Blumenthal)

Last week, acclaimed chef, restauranteur and mental health advocate, Heston Blumenthal OBE starred in the BBC documentary ‘Heston: My Life with Bipolar’ which explored his fairly recent bipolar disorder diagnosis. Heston subsequently became an ambassador for national charity Bipolar UK, and has been actively supporting the charity’s mission to help reduce the average 9.5 year delay to diagnosis and end the stigma surrounding the condition.

In 2023, Heston began experiencing both depressive and manic episodes, hearing voices and seeing hallucinations, as well as depression with suicidal thoughts. Mania can also cause you to have intense creativity, speak faster and not listen to others as well as causing delusions and psychosis. Heston’s wife Melanie could see that his health was deteriorating rapidly and that he was a danger to himself. Despite the trauma of sectioning and hospitalisation, this set Heston on the path of not only a bipolar diagnosis, but medicine, therapy and ongoing treatment to help him live a healthy and happy life again.

Heston said to Bipolar UK, “I was living with undiagnosed bipolar for many years, so it’s been an extraordinary journey to get where I am today, and I’m delighted to have had the opportunity to talk to others living with the condition and find out more about their experiences.

“There is still a lot of stigma regarding bipolar, and mental health support is still lacking, but it is vital to be able to talk openly about the condition. I know this isn’t always easy, but I hope by sharing my experience, people will gain a greater understanding of bipolar and an insight into how I’m managing it.”

The documentary was extremely powerful to watch and sad in places, but inspiring. As someone who faced a similar situation to Heston in terms of a manic episode with psychosis/delusions that led to being sedated, sectioned by psychiatrists and hospitalised, my heart went out to him as I know how traumatising this can be. I found the needle being shown as a reenactment for sedation quite challenging to watch! However, the documentary was more than just showing what happened to Heston, who didn’t know he had bipolar til 2023, when he was in his 50s.

I found the discussion that Heston had with his son Jack, about how he was during a manic episode to be really enlightening. A lot of children of parents with bipolar find it challenging when their parents personality is almost hijacked by the episodes. Mania can lead to quickened speech, manic and grandiose ideas, lack of sleep and risky behaviour. You could see how much love Heston and Jack had for each other and how special is family is to support him through this and appear on camera. This includes his wife Melanie, who has been Heston’s rock!

The documentary ended with Heston visiting the mother of Rebecca McLellan, a young woman with bipolar who died by suicide due to neglect from mental health services. Rebecca had raised the alarm with the crisis team at her local hospital various times but was not treated with respect and dignity. The pressure of her illness and lack of support led her to take her own life.

Heston wants to highlight the suicide risk that bipolar brings and how much more mental health support is needed from the government. He is now working as an ambassador with Bipolar UK to raise awareness. Bipolar UK is on a mission to ensure people with bipolar get a quicker diagnosis so they can access effective treatment, support, and self-management, enabling them to live well and fulfil their potential.

Simon Kitchen, Bipolar UK CEO, added: “Heston is such an incredible ambassador for everyone in the UK living with, or affected by, bipolar. We could not be prouder to be working with him. His willingness to be so vulnerable on camera and to share such personal details about his experiences has resonated with many people in our community – and will help people who don’t know much about bipolar to begin to understand this complex and much-misunderstood condition. Heston is living proof that despite the sometimes severe and fluctuating nature of the condition, living with bipolar should not be a barrier to following your ambitions”

As one of the million people in the UK living with bipolar, I know how much more funding is needed in the NHS and a new bipolar pathway with more mental health support needs to be set up. Early prevention and support is key to stop bipolar escalating into suicide or mania.

Although it was a very personal watch for me, due to having been diagnosed with bipolar since aged 16 and my Dad having bipolar too, I thought that Heston’s documentary was so inspiring. He has only been living with the condition for two years and is using his platform for the good. Heston is now on Lithium medication to stabilise his moods as well as an anti psychotic medication.

Bipolar UK say that according to the stats, someone with bipolar takes their own life every day. Hopefully Heston’s documentary will act as a reminder and catalyst to our government to begin change. Thank you Heston and Melanie for being vulnerable and sharing your important story.

(image: Bipolar UK)

Heston: Life with Bipolar is out now on BBC Iplayer.

On Mindfulness And Waking up And Smelling The Roses (Literally!) by Eleanor

(image: Nkni, Unsplash)

Sometimes the world and life gets so busy, hectic and at times, very dark. We are bombarded with negative stories and awful news, social media means we have access to this constantly and everyone is always going through something difficult in life. Whether its struggling with your mental health or whether life events come and derail your mood, life can be challenging.

What I learnt this week was that sometimes I can stay too much in my head and own space, worrying, overthinking, overplanning- because I care too much. It can be hard when you’re an emotional person to stay always rational and content. Gratitude is hugely important for this, being thankful and giving it over to the universe or higher power. However, I wanted to share with you how nature got me out of a worried, controlling (of my own universe) place…

I had spent all day working at home, hadn’t been out and decided to go out to visit my Dad with Rob. It sounds so small but I was instantly taken with the array of beautiful roses and flowers in people’s gardens. The zesty orange roses, their pale pink delicate friends, shocking pink bright roses and white ones poking their heads amongst the other colours. And as we arrived in my Dad’s road, each house had so many stunning roses.

It made me so much more mindful and content, to be in nature and just really appreciating our world. So thats my message for you today- step outside and smell the roses, because we can often miss them when we’re on our devices or not mindful and present in the world. Have a small walk if you can, take in fresh air, go and visit the flowers and the trees and breathe.

Have a lovely weekend,

Eleanor

Men Four Times More Likely To Be Very Satisfied With Their Body Image by Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors.

(image: Unsplash- Sam Moghadam)

survey conducted by Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors of over 1,468 respondents highlights a clear gender gap in body image satisfaction. Men are more than four times as likely to report being very satisfied with their body image (16%) compared to women (4%).

Body Image Satisfaction

Men: 16.37% very satisfied, 32.46% somewhat satisfied, 28.65% neutral, 16.67% unsatisfied, 5.85% very unsatisfied.

Women: 3.87% very satisfied, 26.45% somewhat satisfied, 23.60% neutral, 33.67% unsatisfied, 12.41% very unsatisfied.

Men were also more likely to feel their body image had remained the same or improved over time, while women were more likely to report a decline in satisfaction.

Impact of Social Media and AI

Nearly half of all respondents (49.89%) cited social media as a key influence on body image, with Instagram (62.42%) being the most frequently mentioned platform. AI technology, including filters and editing apps, was noted by 31.23% of respondents as a factor shaping body image perceptions.

Men were less affected by social media’s impact on body image (9.36% strongly agreed) compared to women (21.16%). AI technology also had a greater effect on women’s self-perception, with 22.18% agreeing that it made them more critical of their appearance, compared to 11.99% of men.

Cosmetic Procedures and Future Trends

While 15.36% of women reported undergoing cosmetic procedures, only 4.68% of men said the same. Among those who had undergone procedures, the majority expressed a positive impact on their body image.

Despite the influence of social media and AI, only 19.88% of respondents felt these technologies made them more likely to consider cosmetic surgery.

The findings demonstrate a clear disparity in body image satisfaction between men and women, influenced by social media and AI,” said Michael Saul, Partner at Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors. “Understanding these trends helps to address unrealistic beauty standards and promote a healthier self-image.”

The data underscores the gender differences in body image perception and the influence of digital media. These insights may inform discussions on promoting healthier self-perceptions and mitigating unrealistic beauty standards.

About Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors

Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors is the UK’s leading law firm specialising in cosmetic surgery negligence claims. 

Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog 2025 By Vuelio This Mental Health Awareness Week!

(image: Vuelio)

Thank you so much to Christina and all at Vuelio for listing Be Ur Own Light as a Top 10 UK Mental Health blog for the 8th year running! This is an important accolade to us and this year we have moved up a place to Number 6!

It is an honour to be listed amongst so many fantastic bloggers and organisations who work so hard to bring important mental health content, you can see the full list here . Well done to everyone.

As we approach our 10th blogging year next year, this continues to be so important for us-to educate and battle stigma about all things mental health. Thank you again Vuelio!

Love,

Eleanor x

Living With Imposter Syndrome As A Writer by Eleanor

(image: Unsplash)

I wrote about this a little bit a few days ago on my Instagram and Facebook but thought I would write a longer blog here.

So here goes…

In 2016, I started this little blog as a place to share my emotions and feelings around living with anxiety and panic attacks, processing trauma I had been through a few years before and just as a place to vent to family and friends. Nearly 10 years later, I and many contributors have kept this wonderful corner of the internet going and I am very grateful.

From 2016 onwards, I began to write my heart for mental health charities and national publications after sending pitch emails to them about my more unusual story of being diagnosed with bipolar at 16 and hospitalised twice by 25. At the time, bipolar was way less talked about (with psychosis and hospitalisation still a major taboo) and I wanted to be a part of changing that.

Amazingly everything started to click into place after I began online networking with editos… I was writing articles for Metro.co.uk regularly on mental health (Thank you Yvette!), I was featured in Glamour and the Telegraph (thank you editors!), I started writing for Jewish community papers and for a new magazine at the time, Happiful. Then, I decided I wanted to submit my journey with bipolar from 16 onwards to Trigger Publishing as a memoir and signed with them for a book deal in 2018. 2018 was a year of manifestation and synchronicity for me in many areas of my life.

Then, I was asked to write my story to be featured in the Book of Hope by my friends Jonny Benjamin MBE and Britt Pfluger alongside celebrities including Dame Kelly Holmes, Zoella, Alastair Campbell ,Elizabeth Day, Joe Wicks and many others including friends in the mental health writing world. Seeing my name on the cover alongside all these successful people I admired was something else and again my story of hope against adversity was being shared globally to help people who needed it.

My own book Bring me to Light came out in November 2019 just a few months before the Covid Pandemic and so I couldn’t get out there to promote it fully but it still did well on Amazon and was sold in Waterstones and globally. Its something I am hugely proud of despite sometimes feeling shy that my story is out there for all tom read.

Since 2020, I have kept blogging, writing for Metro.co.uk from time to time and I finally self published my children’s book Arabella and the Worry Cloud. However, imposter syndrome has really kicked in, let me explain.

The start of my writing career happened when I was unemployed due to my mental health. I had to leave a face to face teaching job due to my anxiety. I had no idea that this little blog for friends and family would turn into so much. In fact I would say it was a total whirlwind. I was only 30 when I signed my book deal (independently without an agent). I was just 28 when I started writing openly about my mental health and I often feel like an imposter! That little voice that says you’re not good enough because…

I am an independent writer which means I don’t yet have an agent but I have been published before by several publishers and I have also self published my kids book. So I worry that I won’t ever find an agent, that my dream of being a professional author with a team around me (agent, marketing team, earning good money from my craft) seems out of reach. In this industry as well when you pitch to agents to take on your book, it comes with a lot of rejection. My children’s book for example was rejected by Pan Macmillan (although I was fortunate to know someone there who was able to look at my manuscript). I know I need to keep going to help others, but sometimes it feels super lonely and you have to be so resilient. Rejection is normal but its hard.

I chose not to go into journalism full time in a news room for health reasons but I love to write freelance from home and hope to continue to do so.

I guess I feel like an imposter because my career that I did work hard for, came after my former editor Yvette connected with me on Twitter, she liked my blog and commissioned me to write mental health articles (despite at that point never meeting). This was the same for so many incredible editors who gave me their time and knowledge including Naomi Greenaway at the Telegraph , Deborah Joseph (formerly of Glamour) and Rebecca at Happiful. I truly feel blessed these women championed me and my writing.

So I guess what I want to say is that its OK to feel like you aren’t there yet, like you aren’t good enough, like the mountain of where you want to be is too hard to climb. What I have found is when people believe in you, in your ideas, in your story and when you can find that inner confidence and believe in yourself- incredible things can happen. You can manifest your dreams and I do believe one day more will manifest (even if my little imposter voice speaks up).

I want to end this story with something quite relevant that haunts me to this day. I was staying at my Dads when I was writing my first book, in the middle of the Buckinghamshire countryside at the time. I was more ‘high profile’ in the mental health world and very prolific on Twitter back in 2018-19 and so I received an email invitation from a producer at BBC Women’s Hour for a segment they were doing about bipolar. She asked if I would come on the show to talk about it. My fear/ panic about being exposed and too seen (and not worthy) meant I didn’t feel able to do it and I have kicked myself ever since! If anyone from Women’s Hour is reading this (haha) please do get back in touch!

But seriously- sometimes fear and anxiety stops us from doing what we most want to do but are too frightened to do. I still feel scared to give talks about my kids book. I look at others on Instagram who are Sunday Times Bestsellers and have agents and I think to myself….will I ever get there? Unfortunately social media comparisonitis at age 36 (i know I am still young) is still rife.

I think I have to remember that its OK to feel like this, as my friends have told me, so many creatives do. And its ok to take my time, work hard and see where it lands. It’s also OK to take other jobs while being a writer isn’t paying a main income too. I feel imposter syndrome in other areas of my life too but thats a blog for another day.

Do you feel imposter syndrome?

Thanks for reading,

Ellie x

Working From Home In The UK And The Impact On Mental Health: With Choose Leisure

(image: Helena Lopes, Unsplash).

New data has revealed that there has been a rise in interest in mental health advice for those working from home, with searches in England jumping up by 63% in the past year.

With over two-fifths (42%) of remote workers feeling that working from home has had negative impacts on their mental wellbeing, the experts at Choose Leisure wanted to share that there has been a stark interest in mental health support across the UK.

Dr. Hana Patel, NHS GP and GP Medico-Legal Expert Witness commented:

“Working remotely, or from home, can have lots of benefits but it can also be isolating and have a big impact on our mental health. Often, it might be difficult to manage boundaries when being out of the office environment, so here are some tips that can help maintain well-being” :

  1. Highlight of the day – “Each day, try to find one small thing you can take pride in or appreciate. You might find it helpful to create a list at the start of each day, and tick off everything you’ve done at the end.”
  1. Lunch self-care – “Make sure you take at least a 30-minute lunch break and eat in a different room from where you work. If you can, try to get some fresh air and go for a short walk.”
  1. Prep your tech – “Set up a ‘work’ and ‘personal’ login for your laptop, so that you can differentiate between the two – you could even use different screensavers and backgrounds to make the difference clear.”
  1. Meeting environment – “Distinguish between proper meetings and informal chats with your colleagues – if possible, designate different spaces for formal and informal conversations to help set boundaries.
  1. Fresh air, fresh mind – “Go for a walk as soon as you finish – this can act as a fake ‘commute’, and make it feel like you’re coming home after the working day has finished.”
  1. Prioritise breaks – “It’s easy to work longer hours and take fewer breaks when working remotely. Put a reminder in your diary for when you plan to finish working.”

(image: Mikey Harris: Unsplash)

Beyond mental health tips for remote workers, national search trends also reflect the growing concern for work wellbeing.

Choose Leisure utilised search engine analysis to reveal a spike in searches for ‘work from home health’, ‘WFH mental health’, ‘WFH wellbeing’, ‘WFH wellbeing tips’ and 1,446 related keywords.

Nationally, England has been recognised as the country with the largest rise in working from home mental health concerns in the UK, based on online searches.

In 2022, the terms were searched an average of 79,720 times a month, but this rocketed to 129,950 in 2024 – that’s a 63% surge! Scotland came second with a 36% uplift, followed by Wales and Northern Ireland with 35% and 12%.

Searches for WFH Mental Health keywords
Location20222024% Change
England79,720129,95063%
Scotland9,69013,22036%
Wales6,8809,31035%
Northern Ireland6,0906,80012%

Donna Bicker from Choose Leisure, who conducted the research said:

“It’s important for remote workers to understand they are not confined to four walls, their home office or any space you use for daily work.

“Working from home is designed to foster flexibility and improve work-life balance. With mental health concerns on the rise in the UK, finding an ideal workspace—whether at home, in a café, or even travelling in a motorhome—can be essential for improved mental well-being and productivity.”

This non sponsored blog was written by Choose Leisure.

What Makes A Great Hypnotherapist? by Kevin Whitelaw of Perma Hypnotherapy.

(image: Chelsea Gates, Unsplash)

On a regular basis, I speak to people who are set to benefit from hypnotherapy: they have a compelling need to make those changes in their lives, they take responsibility for the outcome and, they’re looking forward to enjoying the benefits. Solution Focused Hypnotherapy is an effective, modern, evidence-based talking therapy. It is designed to support you in making positive changes leading to your sustained wellbeing.

Often, people get a bit stuck when looking for a therapist as they try to find the right therapist for them at that time.

So, what makes a hypnotherapist the right hypnotherapist for you at the moment?

The over-riding factor is your gut instinct: rapport between therapist and client is so important in achieving the best outcomes for wellbeing. What are your feelings as you look through their website and speak to them?

Beyond that, consider the following – any credible hypnotherapist would be happy to confirm the below.

Make sure you consider these when speaking to a hypnotherapist for your mental health:

  • They are open about what certifications they have, from where and what continuous professional development they do. Remember that the term ‘diploma’ is, in itself, meaningless. The key things to look for when assessing a certification are how much work did it take to obtain, who accredited it and what competence does the accreditor have?
  • That they are required to undertake a level of continuous professional development.
  • They are members of recognised professional governing bodies. There are many of these – The key thing to look for is the organisation’s affiliation with the National Council for Hypnotherapy and / or the Complimentary and Natural Health Care Council. Nb – this holds true for the UK. Other countries – especially the USA – have their own arrangements.
  • That they have Professional Indemnity Insurance (PII). This is not to expect anything to go wrong but it does give a degree of assurance as to the quality of their qualifications. Each broker offering PII to hypnotherapists has a list of certifications they accept as being suitable – and they are very shrewd about who they insure.
  • They have lived-experience of the issues you have chosen to resolve. Nb – there is no right or wrong with this one. You will find therapists who both agree and disagree with this point.
  • They are clear about their overall balance between therapy and hypnosis.
  • They allow you to set your own goals and they work to your (rather than their) agenda.
  • They encourage and support you to become proficient in self-hypnosis and managing your wellbeing for the long term.
  • They are happy to share content, resources, and references with you to give a deeper understanding of what they, and you, are doing.
  • They focus on you achieving your goals efficiently – there are no signs of them spinning things out for extra sessions.

(image: Marcel Straub, Unsplash)

 Ready to break free? 

The author Kevin Whitelaw helps adults across the globe overcome anxiety, stress, and self-doubt using Solution Focused Hypnotherapy. Book your free consultation today.

9th Blog Anniversary of Be Ur Own Light!

(image: Ginger Ray)

Whenever 1st March rolls around, I feel a tremendous sense of pride but also – how has it been so many years since I started blogging on WordPress about my mental health?

Be Ur Own Light Blog started on 1st March 2016 after I had had to leave a face to face job because I was having panic attacks and couldn’t get in to work. I saw blogging as a form of therapy.. and in truth, I was only originally sharing with friends and family because I felt really alone with it. That eventually snowballed into me writing for Rethink Mental Illness and then in the national media, speaking at a few in-person events and recording podcasts. It was also an honour to be included in several books including ‘The Book of Hope’ by Jonny Benjamin MBE and Britt Pfluger, talking about life with bipolar.

There’s times I still feel alone with my health but I also have so much support and understanding from family and friends and readers here too, which helps a great deal.

I just want to thank everyone we have collaborated with in the past year (sponsored or not)- brands, charities, businesses, individuals making a difference in the mental health world. Thank you for writing blogs for Be Ur Own Light and our personal mission of taking a sledgehammer to the stigma of mental illness (or trying to!).

Thank you also to everyone who has promoted or bought my books, especially my recent kids book ‘Arabella and the Worry Cloud’. I am so proud of ‘Bring me to Light’ too and hope sharing my story continues to help people.

If you’ve been following this journey for 9 years (or longer)- thank YOU for being here for the ride and continuing to read, support and show up.

It has been harder for me in the past 2 years to authentically share everything about my mental health and other health things on here but one day I hope that our journey can inspire others. I live in remission from Bipolar due to my medications holding me and I never forget daily how lucky I am to have access to mental health medications (due to living in the UK) and an excellent therapist, plus support from family.

Going forward, I will still be blogging but I am hoping that the sequel to Arabella and the Worry Cloud will manifest soon. I have written it, I just need the funds to secure everything! Shout out to my friend and illustrator Shelley. I hope also that Arabella will continue to reach more children and find it’s way to all who need its message.

Thank you all of you for enabling me to blog and write and hopefully help people with bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks etc. Thank you to every person who has read a blog, bought a book, shared an article, commissioned me in the press to write an article on mental health or current affairs and to all who have or continue to believe in me- including my amazing husband and family. and of course G-d who is behind everything.

Love and gratitude,

Ellie x

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Perfectionism by NOSA CBT

(image: Kateryna Hliznitsova, Unsplash)

Struggling with perfectionism? Learn how CBT for perfectionism helps challenge self-criticism, set realistic goals, and break free from the pressure to be perfect.

If you ever feel paralyzed by the thought of making mistakes or constantly push yourself to impossible standards, you might benefit from CBT for Perfectionism. At NOSA CBT, we understand how perfectionism can lead to burnout, procrastination, and nonstop anxiety. In this blog, we will explore what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) provides practical ways to break out of the perfectionist trap.

What Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is not just about wanting to do things well. It usually means aiming for flawless results and feeling that anything less than perfection is a failure. Many perfectionists believe their worth depends on never making mistakes. This can cause chronic stress and harsh self-criticism whenever the outcome is not 100 percent perfect.

Sometimes, perfectionistic habits come from fear of judgment or failure in front of others. This fear creates a cycle: always striving, never satisfied, and relying on achievement for self-esteem. Ironically, trying to be flawless can keep you from getting started on projects, since the fear of messing up becomes more overwhelming than the desire to make progress.

How Perfectionism Develops

Perfectionism can grow from many sources: family expectations, social pressures, or ways of coping you learned over time. You might have grown up in a home where you were praised only when you excelled, making you feel like mistakes were unacceptable. Or maybe you live in a culture where success is linked to being the best, reinforcing the idea that any slip-up equals total failure.

Often, perfectionists tie their self-worth directly to their accomplishments. Rather than seeing an outcome as separate from who they are, they treat any disappointment as a personal shortcoming. Once these ideas take hold, they shape your approach to work, relationships, and even leisure activities. Recognizing why perfectionism developed does not mean it vanishes overnight, but it can help you spot triggers that feed that anxiety about not being “good enough.”

(image: Brett Jordan: Unsplash)

How CBT for Perfectionism Works

CBT for Perfectionism focuses on finding and challenging the thoughts and beliefs that drive unhealthy perfectionism. Instead of telling you how to get perfect results, CBT helps you understand why imperfection feels so scary in the first place. Then, you can test whether those fears are truly accurate and replace them with more realistic, kinder ways of thinking.

  1. Mapping Unhelpful Thoughts
    Early on, you might keep track of moments when you feel overwhelmed or anxious about not doing something “well enough.” This reveals the core thoughts fueling your stress, such as “If I don’t get every detail right, I’m a failure.”
  2. Challenging Distorted Beliefs
    Next, CBT teaches you to question these beliefs. Is it realistic to think one mistake ruins everything? Are you really worthless if you miss a tiny detail? Finding evidence that contradicts these absolutes can weaken their hold.
  3. Encouraging Realistic Standards
    CBT does not say you have to lower your standards across the board. Instead, it prompts you to set challenging but achievable goals. This shift allows you to celebrate progress rather than obsessing over small flaws.
  4. Self-Compassion
    One of the most important parts of CBT is learning to be gentle with yourself when things do not go perfectly. Instead of harsh self-criticism, you practice talking to yourself in a supportive, encouraging way. This approach boosts resilience and motivation, even when you stumble.

By repeating these steps and noticing changes in your thoughts and behaviors, you can develop a healthier mindset that balances striving for excellence with recognizing that mistakes are a normal part of growth.

Key CBT Techniques for Perfectionism

Several CBT techniques help reduce the pressure to be perfect:

  1. Thought Records
    • Write down situations that trigger perfectionistic stress, along with the thoughts and emotions they spark. Then, look for evidence that challenges these extreme conclusions. Over time, seeing flaws in your perfectionistic thinking can loosen its grip.
  2. Behavioural Experiments
    • Sometimes, you might intentionally aim for “good enough” rather than perfect results. Whether it’s a work project or a household task, see how it feels to let go of total precision. Often, you’ll realize minor imperfections rarely lead to disaster.
  3. Graded Exposure
    • Gradually face your fear of imperfection. For example, leave a small mistake in a draft and show it to a friend or colleague, just to prove to yourself that a minor error doesn’t lead to rejection or failure.
  4. Self-Compassion Exercises
    • Through affirmations or mindfulness, you learn to accept that everyone slips up sometimes. Treat mistakes as opportunities to learn, not signs of personal failure.

When practiced consistently, these strategies help you maintain high standards without feeling constantly overwhelmed by the need to be flawless.

Dealing with Setbacks and Ongoing Habits

Real change rarely happens in a straight line, especially if you’ve spent years developing perfectionistic habits. It’s normal to have setbacks when deadlines loom or when life throws unexpected challenges your way. If you catch yourself slipping back into rigid thinking, it doesn’t mean CBT “failed.” It just means it’s time to revisit the strategies and tools that helped you before.

Setbacks can even be helpful. Each time perfectionistic thoughts resurface, you have another opportunity to apply the CBT methods you’ve learned. Over time, these relapses often become less intense and less frequent because you have a more flexible framework for coping.

Who Can Benefit from this Therapy?

Anyone who struggles with all-or-nothing thinking can find CBT useful. High achievers sometimes get stuck in endless cycles of tweaking or revising because they feel nothing is ever “perfect.” Students may push themselves to the limit, convinced that a single slip in grades defines their future. Even in personal settings, the need to appear flawless can drain your energy and enjoyment of everyday life.

It’s also important to remember perfectionism isn’t limited to a certain personality type. You might feel confident in some areas yet be extremely hard on yourself in others. CBT meets you where you are. It offers practical tools for tackling unhelpful beliefs and separating your self-worth from your achievements.

Rounding Up 

Ultimately, CBT for Perfectionism aims to loosen the grip of harsh self-standards and critical inner voices that overshadow day-to-day satisfaction. Striving for excellence can be motivating, but perfectionism can turn into a never-ending burden that undermines your confidence and well-being.

By challenging black-and-white thinking, trying out more balanced behaviours, and learning self-compassion, you can find a healthier mindset that values progress over flawlessness. If you’ve noticed perfectionistic habits affecting your life, consider exploring CBT techniques or reaching out for professional support to build a more flexible and resilient approach to reaching your goals.