Category: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

10 Steps To Managing Your Anxiety by Anita Ginsburg.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

(image: Joice Kelly at Unsplash)

Anxiety is a natural response to stress, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and interfere with your daily life. If you’re struggling with anxiety, you don’t have to go it alone. There are many effective strategies for managing anxiety that psychiatrists and mental health professionals use every day. Here are 10 proven strategies for reducing anxiety and taking control of your thoughts and feelings.

Identify Your Triggers

The first step in managing your anxiety is to identify what triggers it in the first place. Is there a specific situation, person, or event that causes you to feel anxious? By recognizing these triggers, you can begin to take steps to avoid them or find ways of coping when they do arise.

Keep a Stress Journal

Keeping track of your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to gain insight into how your body reacts to certain situations and how best to manage them. Write down any physical sensations, emotions, or triggers that contribute to your anxiety so that you can better understand what’s causing it and how best to deal with it.

Exercise Regularly

Exercise is not only a great way to burn off pent-up energy but also helps release endorphins which act as natural mood boosters. Even just a few minutes of exercise each day can help reduce stress levels and improve overall mental wellbeing.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Taking time out of each day for relaxation is essential for keeping your stress levels low. Take up yoga, practice deep breathing exercises, or listen to calming music before bed each night—whatever works for you. Finding activities that bring about relaxation will help reduce the intensity of your anxiety over time and lead towards more peaceful days ahead.

Talk To Someone

Talking about the things that are causing you anxiety is often the first step in taking control of it again; whether it be with family members, friends, or even professional psychiatric services, like New Tele Doc, if needed. Having someone else who you trust to talk through issues with can help put problems into perspective and provide clarity on potential solutions going forward—something we often need when dealing with our own anxieties.

Get Enough Sleep

Lack of sleep can exacerbate existing anxieties so make sure you get at least 7-8 hours per night whenever possible; if not more depending on personal circumstances. If insomnia is an issue then try getting outside during daytime hours (weather permitting) as exposure to sunlight helps regulate the body’s natural circadian rhythm which aids in quality sleep later at night.

Eat Well and Drink Water

Eating well balanced meals throughout the day helps keep energy levels high while avoiding unhealthy snacks or sugary drinks which can cause blood sugar spikes/drops leading towards feelings of fatigue/anxiousness respectively. Similarly drinking lots of water helps ensure good hydration levels which makes us feel more alert mentally whilst providing physical benefits too.

Practice Mindful Meditation

Mindful meditation involves focusing on one’s thoughts without judgment in order to allow yourself some time away from any negative self-talk or worrying thoughts; allowing yourself time away from such things has been proven beneficial for those struggling with anxiety issues. It’s important however not to focus solely on this technique as other methods should always be employed alongside mindful meditation too when tackling any difficult issue such as this one.

Avoid Caffeine and Alcohol

Both caffeine and alcohol are known stimulants which if consumed regularly can increase adrenal hormones leading towards heightened states of fear, anxiety, and nervousness. Try replacing coffee/tea based beverages (which contain caffeine) instead with green tea or fruit juices (which don’t!) as these are far healthier options overall particularly when trying to combat any pre-existing anxieties already present within oneself.

Break Negative Thinking Patterns

Lastly breaking negative thinking patterns involves challenging any irrational beliefs we may have about ourselves by looking at evidence objectively. This could involve writing down pros and cons for certain decisions we make before acting upon them so we have an understanding of why certain actions should be taken based upon factual evidence rather than assumptions made from our own potentially skewed perspectives.

Everyone experiences periods of worry from time-to-time but learning how best to manage those worries will increase your confidence in being able handle similar situations better next time they arise. By following the above 10 steps anyone suffering from regular bouts of anxiety will likely find their overall quality of life improving dramatically once proper management techniques become part of their daily routine! Psychiatric services such as therapy sessions/medication may also be necessary depending upon individual circumstances. Seeking medical advice should never be seen as a sign of weakness but rather strength instead because ultimately tackling problems head-on is better than running away from them indefinitely.

Anita Ginsburg is a freelance writer.

What Is EMDR Therapy and How Can It Help You?  by Brooke Chaplan

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

Those with post-traumatic stress disorder undergo a wide variety of symptoms that can interfere with their everyday life. EMDR therapy is intended to help reduce the effects of PTSD on the body. In fact, there have been positive clinical outcomes showing this therapy’s effectiveness for treating addictions, depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and even OCD.

What is EMDR Therapy? 

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. This extensively researched therapeutic practice has been proven to help people recover from trauma and PTSD-related symptoms. It’s classified as a psychotherapy method and is notated as an effective treatment offering by the NHS, American Psychiatric Association, World Health Organization, American Psychological Association, International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, National Alliance on Mental Illness, and so many more. 

What Makes EMDR Therapy Different? 

When you look at the treatment options for traumatic disorders like PTSD, many require in-depth conversing with a licensed therapist. Many patients will spend hours talking about their distressing issues and even complete homework between their therapy sessions.

EMDR therapy doesn’t work like that. Rather, it’s specifically designed to allow the brain to resume its natural healing process. However, it does include an element of talking therapy to help heal.

EMDR Therapy and Your Brain 

The human brain has a natural process for handling traumatic memories and events that happen in our lives. It utilises communication between the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. The amygdala is the brain’s alarm for a stressful event. The hippocampus helps the brain to learn and share past memories regarding danger and safety. Lastly, the prefrontal cortex is responsible for analysing what’s happening and controlling your emotions and behaviours. 

Who Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy? 

EMDR therapy can be beneficial for a wide variety of patients, including both children and adults. It’s been known to treat individuals who have the following conditions (and more): 

  • Anxiety 
  • Depression 
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Eating Disorders 
  • Performance Anxiety
  • Personality Disorders 
  • PTSD 
  • Sexual Assault Victims 

Basically, anyone who has experienced a traumatic incident in their life can benefit from this particular type of therapy treatment. In fact, most individuals are able to overcome their symptoms in just a few EMDR sessions as compared to ongoing psychotherapy sessions. 

If you or a loved one has suffered a traumatic incident, it may be difficult to move on with your life.

Fortunately, EMDR therapy can be a great solution to help your brain and body successfully process the incident and move on.

EMDR therapy is recommended for all types of patients, regardless of age or gender. 

This article was written by Brooke Chaplan, writer.

Anxiety And Climbing, Not Carrying Mountains. by Eleanor.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 6 Comments

(image: Quote CC)

This week was a good week. Generally, my bipolar has been stable for a while. I am able to go to work and hold down two jobs somehow and I also passed my probation (in the words of Borat, Great Success!). But there are times when things are overwhelming and I feel like a wobbly mess. Like today.

I achieved my goals that I came up with when I was in the middle of agoraphobia a few months ago. My panic disorder reset itself to a healthy level thanks to therapy and things improving at work. As such, I have been able to see more people face to face and this week I was able to go to Ronnie Scotts Jazz Club with my Dad to see Natalie Williams and Soul family Motown show (my Chanukah present). We have been before over the years and love going to see them and going with my Dad makes me feel safe as he drives us.

However, I often find that something like that is followed by a day of needing to slow down and look after me as I can feel a little depleted and more anxious. Its just a bit of a pattern my mind goes too. The cold and dark weather also do not help with this and I start just wanting to stay at home. I have also been putting myself under too much pressure and end up exhausted.. any other perfectionists/achievers do the same?

So, I couldn’t go to see friends and some family this weekend and had to cancel arrangements which wasn’t great. However, my baby nephew was born last week and had his Jewish naming ceremony yesterday which was special as Rob and I carried him in on a special pillow. We then hosted my mum and step dad for shabbat (Jewish sabbath) lunch- so I am seeing that as a big achievement despite everything. In the past, I wouldn’t have even been able to attend it- so I know I am in a better place. However, I also had to cancel other family plans which I don’t feel good about.

I think I have just been trying to do way too much as I always do when I feel a bit better and I am sorry to those I have had to let down due to increased anxiety. I know its not my fault, its an illness, but I still feel bad.

One positive, at the ceremony I was able to see my two aunties who I hadn’t seen for a while (which was one of my goals too) so that made me so happy.

Overall, I am doing well but I am still dealing with the panic and anxious thought patterns at times… and its learning a) what the triggers are b) what I can do to help myself when it happens. I have had about a month off from seeing my therapist so probably need another session soon. I think I just need a quiet day watching Netflix.

(image: Grow Together Now)

Rob and I are getting away over Christmas so hopefully that will be a good time to recharge and reset my batteries after a very busy year for both of us.

My sister said to me today to remember to be kind to myself, so that is what I am going to do. Though I do feel a little bit sad at having to cancel plans. Though I look back at the past few weeks and realise that I have done a lot in terms of seeing people- so maybe its all just too much and I need to plan less.

I am mostly healthy and life is generally good. Heres to climbing mountains, not carrying them all the time- and not feeling guilty if I can’t achieve something.

Love,

Eleanor x

4 Ways EMDR Therapy Can Help You Cope With Anxiety by Rachelle Wilber

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 5 Comments
(image: Unsplash)
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Mental health issues are very common and you may be dealing with anxiety and depression or past traumas. Whether you are worried about your finances, family problems, or other issues, anxiety can sometimes feel overwhelming. To cope with this, more people are turning to EMDR (Eye movement desensitisation and processing) therapy and getting surprisingly effective results. If you are searching for answers as to how to deal with anxiety, here are four ways EMDR therapy may help.

Verbalise Less About Trauma

If you are a person who does not like to talk about your anxiety, EMDR can be very beneficial in that it does not rely on you having to talk about painful memories or situations. Instead, it lets you use your imagination to focus instead on happier thoughts and feelings, helping to reduce your anxiety- although you will have to face your fears at the right time too, in order to heal.

Reduces Physical Problems

When you feel anxious and depressed, your body suffers as much as your mind. As a result, you may find yourself experiencing stomach cramps, headaches, a rapid heartbeat, and other similar problems. EMDR therapy has been shown to provide relief from what are known as somatic symptoms. When used regularly, these symptoms are greatly reduced or eliminated, helping to ease your mind even more.

Helps You Regain Control

When you are anxious, you generally feel as if you have no control over your situation. EMDR therapy changes that by helping you regain control of your emotions. To do so, it reduces the intensity associated with negative emotions and past trauma, and also helps lessen the intensity of any negative or disturbing images you may be replaying over and over in your mind.

Improves Processing of Information

EMDR therapy helps you improve how your brain processes information related to traumatic events. Instead of talking about the events that trigger your anxiety over and over, you instead are encouraged to use your imagination to process your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and emotions. By doing so, your therapist can help you create a mindset that is more tranquil, calmer and less stressful to you. It can take time to heal from trauma and to process it, so you will need to stick with the sessions to get the full benefits.

Rather than let anxiety rule your life day after day, consider speaking to a therapist about how EMDR therapy may be beneficial to your life.

This article was written by writer Rachelle Wilber.

PTSD Therapies And Which One Might Be Right for You by Kara Masterson.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 5 Comments
(image: Nick Hewings, unsplash)

PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is one of the most commonly recognised mental health issues because most people endure at least one traumatic experience in their lifetime. Though it’s commonly associated with war veterans, PTSD can occur from enduring the trauma of an abusive relationship, ill health, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a job.

Thankfully, there are many PTSD therapies you can choose from in order to experience healing. 

Prolonged Exposure Therapy 

When people struggle with a form of PTSD, avoidance is one of the most common approaches. After all, no one wants to revisit the trauma. However, that trauma impacts the way a person lives in the future. By facing the trauma and incorporating activities such as deep breathing exercises, you’ll decrease the amount of power that traumatic event holds over you. Exposure comes in a number of ways- but should be done with a qualified therapist. One example of exposure is to record yourself as you talk about the event that traumatised you. As you listen to the recording, you can do a calming activity such as colouring in order to help you cope and heal with the story of your trauma. 

EMDR Therapy 

EMDR stands for “eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing”, and it’s been instrumental in healing people who’ve dealt with traumatic events. Actress Sandra Bullock famously discussed how she used the assistance of an EMDR therapist in order to deal with various traumatic events in her lifetime. By thinking about the event as you concentrate on something your therapist is doing, you can help to associate a positive experience with that traumatic one. Therapists use tools such as flashing lights, sounds, and movement in order to help with the healing journey. In order for it to be effective, consistent sessions for a few months are the best line of action, with a therapist you trust. 

Cognitive Processing Therapy 

Cognitive Processing Therapy is a PTSD treatment method that allows you to sit down and talk with your therapist about the traumatic event (or events) you’ve endured. You’ll need to process how you feel like it impacted your life. Once you’ve talked through it all, you’re tasked with the responsibility of writing it all down. The act of journaling helps to stimulate your mind to ponder on ways you can cope and adjust in order to move forward in the most abundant manner. Your therapist serves as a guide to help you process and heal with the truest version of the story of what happened to you. 

Stress Inoculation Training 

This method for healing your PTSD is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy. With this training method, you’ll learn various techniques such as self-massages in order to relax and get rid of the stress that’s associated with your trauma. You don’t need to be in a private space to do this type of training. It can be done on your own or within the safe space of a group. 

As the conversation surrounding mental health shifts, don’t be afraid or ashamed to get help. You don’t have to silently endure the negative impact of PTSD. While therapy requires you to show up and do the work, you can move past your trauma and experience healing. 

This article was written by writer Kara Masterson.

What It Means To Have An NHS Perinatal Psychiatry Planning Meeting.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 3 Comments
(image: Oprah Daily)

Yesterday was the first NHS meeting with the Perinatal (pre conception/birth) Psychiatrist. I didn’t know what to expect from it, though a few weeks ago I had the non NHS meeting with a very good consultant psychiatrist. They were both lovely women who are very good at their jobs- I had had to initially try for a private referral due to NHS waiting lists, but then managed to get an NHS appointment.

I was a bit nervous to see how the NHS would handle it, as they will be who I have care with going forward, so I was pleasantly surprised to be treated with respect and insight and kindness. I know that sounds weird, but those of you who know what my hospital admission in 2014 was like, will know that it wasn’t all plain sailing. Due to lack of insight, decisions happened about me and not always with me and so to feel empowered for me and my husband is very important.

Essentially these meetings now I have been well for a long time, are to plan ahead and discuss psychiatric history, what medications are needed, how it can be managed and what this would mean for a foetus and baby too. Birth carries a strong risk of relapse with the bipolar disorder, including the risk of psychosis and depression and so medication particularly for me needs to be planned carefully. I will need to be monitored once pregnant.

I am on 3 different types of psychiatric medication and also a contraceptive pill. Before we start trying to have children, I will need to have a time of withdrawal from the pill, which could send my hormones all over the place (i used to have PMDD symptoms where I felt very depressed and suicidal on periods so this is a slight concern). Then I may need to taper down one of my medicines (possibly sertraline) with the assistance of the mental health team, to reduce the effect on a baby. As baby will have a time of withdrawal from medications after birth while in hospital- which scares me too that they will be affected temporarily so want to make sure any baby is safe, as do the team I will work with.

The Dr also mentioned I would need to be in hospital for 5 days after birth so my Lithium level can be monitored (too high it can be toxic to humans) and I will need regular blood tests also- which are a source of anxiety, I hate hospitals due to past trauma. There was also a mention of needing to stop Lithium pre Labour and my Lithium levels as a result being quite high from birth too. So this information is good, knowledge is power but its also a bit terrifying to factor this all in.

I am scared but its also…. exciting in a weird way. Despite not yet trying to fall pregnant for a number of reasons so far- (which include possible bipolar relapse and changing meds/ time frames and starting a new job role), I have wanted to be a mother my whole life and I have more challenges than most due to the psychiatric and hormonal changes and how the baby would be. I question whether I am doing the right thing too by trying for a natural pregnancy in future and thats really hard. But egg harvesting and surrogacy is not easy either.. and its like going between a rock and a hard place at times with the best thing to do.

The doctors also mentioned I should visit a mother and baby hospital unit during my pregnancy to see what its like and what support is given- as my worries about it being like a severe psychiatric ward are high. Apparently, its a much calmer, supportive and therapeutic environment. I don’t want to be in hospital but these are the types of things one has to factor in with the bipolar being biological with mood changes.

Rob is endlessly supportive – we are embarking on a somewhat unknown journey – but are now armed with way more information from both psychiatrists and are very thankful to live in the UK.

So, this will be the last update from me on this for a while but knowledge truly is power and I know that with the help of our healthcare system- mental health teams and perinatal psychiatry/ obstetrics, my family, medication, self care etc I should be safeguarded and cared for well.

When the time is right, we pray our miracle will manifest.

Thanks for reading,

Eleanor x

PS shout out to my parents, Rob and family for their constant support.

Bipolar and Perinatal Mental Health: Part One by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 5 Comments
(image: pinterest)

I havn’t been sure for many months whether I was ready or wanted to share about the many issues I have been grappling with for a number of years. However, writing for me is therapeutic and so I wanted to share about the reality of mood disorders and thinking about starting a family.

To begin with, this is such a personal and complex issue for anyone with what is termed ‘severe mental illness; ie bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, psychosis. Our illnesses mainly have to be managed on daily medication and for some people with severe mental illness, they may still live with daily symptoms which can cause difficulties for them.

So this article is my personal experience of living with Bipolar 1 disorder and anxiety. To note, I was started on Lithium in 2014 after my last hospitalisation- which has stabilised the bipolar episodes into remission (it does something to the seretonin in the brain). I still live with some anxiety, but the combination of Lithium, Quetaipine (an anti psychotic) and anti depressants has meant that I do not become manic or psychotic and nor do I suffer from severe depression or suicidal depression. I feel more stable and I have engaged in therapy for the trauma I went through, for 2 years. So, thankfully at the moment my illness is very much controlled well and I have support from Rob and my family.

One side effects of my medicines has been weight gain and I aim to lose weight over the next year. This is important to me because it can sometimes impact on fertility and also makes a pregnancy more high risk (physical side effects such as blood clots etc). I will also be 34 in July and so this has become more pressing for me in terms of wanting to try for a baby. However, there are many risks in choosing to do this and going ahead, without speaking to a perinatal psychiatrist or mental health team.

Today, I got my referral letter to the mental health team to discuss planning a pregnancy and am on an NHS waiting list til June. For me, because my type of bipolar can be dangerous with the mania and psychosis- and having had several psychotic episodes in my life to date that have ended me up in hospital- a pregnancy where I carry a baby myself, has to be carefully planned in terms of my medication. For many reasons, I want to stay on my medicines for the entire pregnancy- so that I don’t end up relapsing during or straight after pregnancy (with bipolar there is a greater risk of relapse and post partum depression/psychosis due to the hormonal changes straight after birth).

I have been terrified for a number of years over what to do in order to keep me and a potential baby safe. I have researched surrogacy so I don’t risk making myself unwell, but this comes with a whole host of legal challenges around who is the parent, high financial costs (of treatment and paying expenses for surrogate/agencies) etc and the wait for the right surrogate. Surrogates can also pull out before giving. birth, you have to put your trust in them if you don’t know them- and you are trusting them with something hugely important! We also thought about adoption but with my mental health history and the potential issues that a child in care may be facing, I just didn’t want to put myself through the stress of being scrutinised.

So, please God even if we are blessed with a healthy child- the pregnancy may be as a friend of mine has termed ‘high risk’. This scares me and it scares me about potentially ending up in hospital again, on a mother and baby unit. I want to stay on my mood stabiliser and anti psychotic so the bipolar doesn’t cause this- however, I have decided that as long as I can stay on my medication and have the support of an experienced perinatal psychiatrist and mental health team (as well as my therapist),- plus regular monitoring and scans… and of course a proper plan put in place in case of relapse, this is what I will do (again, no one knows until you start trying for a baby and there can be many hurdles but I am trying to think positively).

I have also been asked whether I am worried about passing bipolar on. This is a worry as it does run in my family- however, I believe the risk of this with one parent is only about 10% (I got unlucky). Sometimes, I sit and question- am I being selfish for wanting to be a mother? And I realise, no I am not selfish. I don’t want my potential child to get bipolar disorder but equally if they do, we will deal with it. We also both want to get tested by Jnetics as we are both Ashkenazi (East European) Jews so may be carriers for certain illnesses.

Some women don’t want to be mothers, but I always have done since I was a little girl and I can’t imagine never having a family with my husband. I want to be the best Mum I can be and reduce my illness risk as much as possible to remain stable and well.

Do I wish things were different and I didn’t have this illness? Yes. but the reality is that I do but that I have been stable for a long time. I know we will make good parents whatever way it happens and I just hope the road ahead won’t be paved with challenges… it is never easy. I write this because its not often talked about… and I know there will be more to come on this subject but I wanted to share- if you yourself are going through something similar, you aren’t alone.

It took a lot to share this because its so personal and I worry about sharing too much- but this blog has been years in the making really! There is never a right time to open up- but maybe now I can allow myself to a bit and release the burden.

People sometimes ask me if I have children (as im mid thirties and married) and my answer is always, I hope to one day soon but leave it in Gods hands.

With love,

Eleanor x

Surviving Trauma Makes Relationships Difficult. Self Compassion Can Help: by Taylor Blanchard

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Unsplash)

You sabotage your relationships when things feel too calm.

You panic when your partner goes on a family vacation, believing that they’re leaving you forever.

Perhaps you can’t stand hugs or gentle touch.

Maybe you’ve wondered to yourself: “What in the world is wrong with me?! Am I just not cut out to have close friends or a romantic relationship?”

Actually, that’s not the case! You deserve close relationships– everyone does. If you resonate with these scenarios, though, you may have some unprocessed trauma– and that trauma may be making your relationships feel like a rusty, ungreased wheel.

You’re not alone. Here’s how trauma can blow our relationships off-course, and also, how self-compassion can help to ease that struggle.

Trauma Creates Hypervigilance

Trauma is any incident that overwhelms your ability to cope (abuse, neglect, or surviving a natural disaster, just to name a few examples). These abhorrent experiences cause our brains and bodies to swirl with cortisol, also known as the stress hormone.

After a seriously traumatic event (or relationship or childhood), our cortisol levels don’t always return to baseline. Often, the nervous system creates a new baseline of heightened stress response. In short: you don’t go back to being as calm as you were before the storm. Now, you’re hypervigilant all the time. You’re always stressed, always scanning for the next attack.

Unfortunately, relationships can’t be created without vulnerability, and vulnerability can’t happen if you’re constantly scanning for attack.

You might be hypervigilant in your relationships if:

  • You feel uncomfortable, fidgety, and unsafe during social situations
  • You constantly micro-analyse everything other people say to make sure they’re not going to hurt you
  • You constantly micro-analyse everything you say to make sure you don’t say anything “wrong”

Aversion to Intimacy

Trauma, and the excess cortisol it triggers, also creates an aversion to physical closeness. When we’re stressed  (i.e., when our cortisol is on full blast), our nervous systems naturally resist being touched.

Do you find yourself shrinking away from hugs? Do you feel an urge to run away when someone gently touches your arm? That’s likely a trauma response.

Of course, if you’ve experienced assault or physical or sexual abuse, this is a double whammy. Since your trauma came from physical touch, your brain has registered any physical touch as dangerous– on top of your increased baseline level of cortisol. Of course you’d feel sick at the thought of a hug! If this sounds like you, go extra easy on yourself if you struggle with relationships; this struggle isn’t your fault.

So, This Sucks… How in the World Do I Heal?

Yes, it sounds bleak. If this is you, you may feel hopeless. I’m with you; I’ve been there. It’s not hopeless, though. This is healable.

Therapy: Do I Even Have to Say It?

Yes, healing this will probably require trauma-informed therapy. You’ll be surprised at how fast you can begin to shift once you see a therapist who validates your traumatic experiences.

Here’s a hint: Psychology Today’s find-a-therapist tool can help you easily find a trauma-informed therapist. (Make sure to select “trauma focused” under the “types of therapy” menu.)

Now That That’s Out of the Way: Self-Compassion Comes Next

I’m 100% serious when I tell you: you deserve to go easy on yourself.

I say this with firmness, and yet, I forget to go easy on myself most days. Regardless, it helps immensely to stop comparing your relationships to other people’s relationships (both friendships and romantic relationships!).

Yes, it may likely take you longer to learn how to develop lasting relationships, both friendly and intimate. It may seem unfair that making and keeping tons of friends, as well as a life partner, comes so easily to some, while you’re struggling to simply text one person back.

Know what? It is unfair. You shouldn’t have gone through the trauma that you went through. What this means, though, is that you can recognize that you face more relational setbacks than someone who didn’t suffer the same trauma as you did. You’re starting further behind with a ball and chain tied to both feet.

Thus: you can stop comparing, and you can stop feeling like you’re “behind” somehow. Always try to recognize even your tiniest victories, even and especially the challenges which seem “easy” to other people.

Wrapping Up

Relationships make our lives juicy and sparkly, and so, if trauma has impacted your ability to form relationships (I’m with you!), then you’re probably struggling.

Try your best to go easy on yourself. You’ve been through a slog of painful experiences that, unfortunately, can make life on Earth feel like walking straight uphill all the time. Therapy helps. Self-compassion helps.

And yes, I know it’s tiring, but there is help for you out there. Just keep going.


Taylor Blanchard is a freelance mental health and wellness writer for hire. Her lived experience and extensive knowledge on mental health, emotional wellness, and spirituality guide her to create deep, compassionate blog posts, which she hopes will help people to feel less alone in the world. Self-care for Taylor looks like staring at the sky, drinking cacao while listening to metal, or cuddling with her rescue Pitbull mix.

The Road to Recovery: On PTSD, Trauma and the Future… by Eleanor for Mental Health Awareness Week

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 15 Comments

Trigger Warning: sexual assault, details of assault and severe mental illness

Hi everyone,

Its been a while but I thought I would put type to keyboard and write a blog for more mental health awareness.

Since my book was published, I haven’t written many follow up personal blogs, purely because the launch of my life story into the public domain felt overwhelming and scary. 6 months on, I am used to it being out there but I have been working hard in EMDR trauma therapy to help myself.

See, the truth is that right now the Bipolar Disorder for me is stable and under control on my medicines. I still get side effects- weight gain, dry mouth and thirst, but my mind is generally healthy in terms of the Bipolar- no mania or depression. Anxiety and panic yes but Bipolar, not really at the moment.

Yet, almost lurking unseen after I left hospital in 2014 and began my recovery was the fact I was traumatised by my experiences of going into psychosis (losing touch with reality via delusions, false beliefs) and my experiences when being sectioned. I will just give an overview as the rest is in my book- but this included- being restrained, being attacked by other patients and seeing them self harm, being injected with Haloperidol (an anti psychotic) in front of both male and female nurses in a part of the body I didn’t want, being chased round A and E by security men in genuine fear of my life, dealing with lawyers and going to tribunals while ill, thinking I had been abused by family and was locked up by a criminal gang and fearing my family were against me. My bipolar mind could not cope.

Just before this all happened, I was very vulnerable and was sexually assaulted by a man I knew through friends and all of this trauma stayed with me.

I did what most of us with severe mental illness and assault survivors do- I tried to rebuild my life. I tried to work in schools helping children with special educational needs. I tried to work for a mental health charity as a peer support worker for people like me. I began to blog and write and share as therapy- from charities to national newspapers. Bit by bit, as I wrote out what I has been through, I started to slowly heal. But, the symptoms of the extreme panic remained. I lost jobs because of it. I became depressed. I started dating but I often had to cancel dates- (before I met Rob, my husband who listened to me talk about it all and didn’t bat too much of an eyelid.)

I was in a state of flux, a state of transition. I knew I had trauma still living in my brain and body. I had been physically and sexually assaulted, I had been mentally violated- I had been sectioned twice in a few months and now I was sent home to try and rebuild my life as a 25 year old single woman.

I share this important blog, not to share that I am a victim- because I am not. I want to share that I believe for about 5 years, I have been suffering with some of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). My therapist believes the same.

The panic attacks that grip me with fear before work or the day ahead when I have to leave the house. The fear of going out or travelling at night alone. The fear of being taken advantage of and having to trust men again (thank you to my husband for helping ease this pain). The fear of exploitation, of losing my mind, of not trusting mental health professionals any more.

My panic attacks get triggered by certain events- it could be having to speak about my life or book, or seeing people I don’t feel comfortable with, of feeling exposed, of worrying about others judgement. I am still healing from all I have been through and experienced. The PTSD means that I have to take medication (Propranolol) to function sometimes. It means that I experience flashbacks in my body- I feel gripped with fear, I get chest pain and shallow breathing and I start to cry. I had one the other day at 4am….. thank the lord for meds so I could calm down and sleep.

My therapist is incredible and we have been working since October to process the roots of my trauma and panic disorder. We use a combination of rapid eye processing with talking therapy which helps to tackle each and every trauma- and we are still at the tip of the iceberg. It takes time to process the deep rooted experiences in my brain- we are getting there slowly.

For me, in many ways my future is uncertain. My medicines have long term physical side effects. Motherhood will be more of a challenge due to medication and my mental health- I am still processing the choices I will have to make, which I will write in another blog.

I want to end this blog by saying- if you know someone with anxiety, PTSD, another anxiety disorder or something like bipolar or schizophrenia- Be Kind. You never know what someone has gone through.

The NHS waiting lists for help are too long, services are too underfunded- all my treatment has been private provided by my family due to being stuck on a list for years. I am lucky, not everyone is. 

I hope this blog gives some information about my experiences of PTSD since leaving hospital 6 years ago. It is by far the most personal thing I have posted since publishing my book but I hope it helps you feel less alone.

Positivity and Hope are key.  Meeting my husband and my therapist changed my life for the better as I slowly rebuild and find an equilibrium again.

Love,

Eleanor x

We are 4! On Be Ur Own Light’s Fourth Blog Anniversary by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 9 Comments

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Its Today- 1st March 2020 and Be Ur Own Light is 4 years old! (cue the streamers!)

I still remember starting this blog as an outlet for my fears, thoughts and emotions dealing with my bipolar and anxiety. The blog started as a way to tell my friends and family how I was feeling and has evolved into working with guest bloggers and now brands/ partners on sponsored wellness posts too! Writing the blog and sharing thoughts has been so therapeutic and it has taken me on  a journey that I could not have imagined.

In November 2019, I published my first book ‘Bring me to Light‘ with Trigger Publishing which is the book of my life story with bipolar disorder, anxiety and my life in general (travelling, going to drama school, starting a career as a writer). The blog has also grown so much this year and is currently nominated in the Mental Health Blog Awards for Blogger of the Year, thank you to our nominee!

Additionally, Vuelio awarded us as a Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog for the second year running and interviewed me (Eleanor) about working as a blogger!  Thanks also to Feedspot.com and My Therapy App for listing us in their mental health blog lists too for social anxiety and bipolar!

This year, I have written about World Bipolar Day for the Centre of Mental Health, about my search for EMDR therapy on the NHS, living with depression in winter, about writing my book and new life changes (getting married) and 2020 new year round up with hopes for the future. We also promoted mental health campaigns such as Shout UK text line (founded by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry and Meghan),  Christmas 4 CAMHS, Time to Talk Day and Mental Health Awareness Week. Additionally, I spoke in Essex with my Dad about our joint story with bipolar for the Jami Mental Health Awareness Shabbat and we also spoke at Limmud Conference in Birmingham!

This winter I did some interviews for the book which can be seen on the Book tab above and also received some lovely reviews. It was amazing to appear in Happiful Magazine’s bonus wellness Mag this January (edited by campaigner Natasha Devon) and to write for Glamour and Bipolar UK. I also enjoyed being interviewed for the Jewish News and Jewish Chronicle! Hopefully at some point I will do podcasts about it too and more interviews.

From March 2019-2020, the blog has attracted wonderful and talented guest bloggers wanting to spread their messages about mental health and wellness.

We have also worked with the following brands on sponsored and gifted posts and hope to work with many more this next year :  YuLife, Nutra Tea, Essential Olie, Loveitcoverit on mental health apps, I-sopod floatation tanks, Core Wellness Maryland, Wellbeing Escapes Holidays.

My guest bloggers have written about their recovery and living with mental illnesses, as well as advice on how to improve your mental health. There a posts for whether you are going through a divorce, a bereavement, are stressed or have anxiety. We also had posts with people’s first hand experiences of mental illness including a brave post about being a sibling of someone with mental illness and one of living with an eating disorder. Furthermore, Be Ur Own Light has also covered World Mental Health Day and Time to Talk Day this year, featuring personal mental health stories as a way to raise awareness and fight misconceptions.

We have also covered new books coming out, a mental health fashion brand and a song about social anxiety, as well as posts about different therapies to help you.

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Thank you to my amazing guest bloggers (non sponsored) March 2019-2020 for your fantastic content:   

Ashley Smith- How Massage Therapy helps Anxiety Disorders

Emily Bartels- 5 tips for a mental health emergency plan

Dale Vernor- Understanding PTSD by Gender 

Tan at Booknerd Tan- How audio books and walking has helped anxiety

Emma Sturgis- Loving yourself, tips for a body positive life

EM Training Solutions- How to maintain mental health at work

David Morin- On social anxiety and talking to others

Lyle Murphy- How equine therapy can help those with mental health issues

Charlie Waller Memorial Trust- Best of Musicals event

A Time to Change Hypnotherapy-  Hypnotherapy for self esteem

Nu View Treatment Center- The connection between anxiety and substance abuse

Shout UK- Royal family launches mental health text line

Mental Health Foundation – Mental Health Awareness Week  May 2019 Body Image

Emerson Blake- Coping with the stress of becoming a single parent

The Worsley Centre- A guide to therapies and finding the right one for you

Byron Donovan at Grey Matter – How I recovered from depression to form a fashion brand 

Luci Larkin at Wooley and Co Law- How to reduce stress and maintain mental health during a divorce

Nat Juchems- How to keep your loved ones memory alive after bereavement

Emily Ilett- on her book ‘The Girl who Lost her Shadow’

Mark Simmonds- an interview about his book ‘Breakdown and Repair’ with Trigger Publishing

Curtis Dean- 5 facts about music for stress relief

Robert Tropp- How quitting illegal drugs helps anxiety in the long term

Aaron James- the difference between psychotherapy and counselling

Dr Justine Curry- 4 ways to help a friend with bipolar disorder

Christmas 4 CAMHS campaign for children in childrens mental health wards

Ani O- 4 ways to ease the fear of doctors appointments

Katherine Myers- Ways that spending time outdoors can improve your mental health

Anita- 5 ways to lift you out the slump of seasonal depression

Chloe Walker- taking care of your child’s mental health

CBT Toronto- how to deal with social anxiety and depression

Katy- a true story with anorexia and OCD

Vanessa Hill- Life changing habits to bring into the new year

Rachel Leycroft- Expressing social anxiety through songwriting

Shira- Living with a sibling with mental illness: the meaning of normal

Capillus- 10 signs you may have an anxiety disorder

Brooke Chaplan- When therapy isn’t enough 

Jami Mental Health Awareness Shabbat 2020 

Mike Segall- Time to Talk Day- 9 years undiagnosed, my story with bipolar disorder

Jasveer Atwal- Living with PCOS and managing mental health

Leigh Adley at Set Your Mind Free- How CBT helps children with anxiety

Lizzie Weakley- How to heal and move forward when you have an eating disorder

Sofie- Living with an eating disorder

Thank you so much to all of you and I am excited to see what 2020-21 brings for the blog!

Be Ur Own Light continues to be read globally and I love receiving your messages about the blogs and finding new writers too.

Heres to a 2020 of positive mental health, of fighting the stigma against mental illness and creating a positive and supportive community here. 

Happy 4th birthday Be Ur Own Light!  ❤ May this be an enlightening year of growth for us.

 

Love and Light always,

Eleanor    

xxx