Category: psychotherapy

Guest Post: The Efficacy of Online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy- CBT by Dr Stacey Leibowitz- Levy

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

We are delighted to have Dr Stacey Leibowitz-Levy, psychologist writing about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for us. As with any therapeutic practice, it is very much individual as to whether it will work for you and CBT will not work for everyone- but has been proven to work for many. Here Dr Leibowitz-Levy explains how it can work online.                        

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Online counselling is a growing field with more and more people turning to the internet to seek out counselling help. Counselling services offered online incorporate the range of therapeutic approaches that have been developed within the field of psychology. Approaches to understanding mental ill health and treatment include therapeutic approaches such as logo therapy, psychodynamic therapy, systemic therapy, psychodynamic therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). How do these therapeutic modalities translate to the online environment? This article will address the compatibility of CBT in particular as an online counselling approach.

CBT is a widely-utilised mode of therapy that focuses on an awareness of the relationship between thoughts, feelings and behaviour. The aim of CBT is to address difficulties through modifying distorted thoughts, unhelpful behaviour and unpleasant emotions. In order to achieve this end, the client works collaboratively with the therapist in building awareness and understanding of his/her condition, and an accompanying skill set for evaluating and changing distorted beliefs (as well as modifying dysfunctional behavior). The therapist develops clear objectives and a treatment plan that requires active participation from the client during sessions, and follows through on homework assignments between sessions.

This form of therapy is characterized by a structured, time limited and outcome focused approach to managing mental health challenges. Often CBT is focused on a specific issue such as anxiety or managing depressive thoughts and, as such, many CBT interventions are available in a protocol format. CBT offers a delineated and clearly defined intervention that is largely directed by a clearly defined process and structure. This is in contrast to many other therapeutic approaches that have less defined parameters and take their cue on a session to session basis from the client.

The format and approach of CBT lends itself to an online format in that the structure and process are not only defined and constrained by the relationship between therapist and client but are also defined by a clearly delineated therapeutic procedure. This procedure offers a framework within which to deliver support which can easily be translated to an online process. CBT follows a set format. It is driven by the imperative of building an understanding of the issues the client is experiencing and imparting a certain skill set to assist the client in managing his/her mental health issues. CBT is thus based on specific content and has a strong psychoeducational aspect, which means that delivery online can be located in tangible and clear cut content and outcomes for the client.

This also allows for versatility in the delivery of CBT online. While face to face time with a therapist may be desirable for some clients, the option of online delivery of psychoeducational as well as skills based elements in other formats also works well. For instance, the psychoeducational aspect could be communicated very effectively through a video delivery. CBT lends itself to the format of online courses where clients are guided through a process of identifying and understanding their particular issues and developing the skills to manage them. Interspersing this with face to face time or the opportunity to clarify or ask questions in a chat or e-mail format makes for a very effective online intervention.

While many of the issues addressed in CBT are personal to the client, the possibility of locating these issues within a more general format is very much part of the CBT approach. There is a set way of getting information from, and accessing and understanding the client’s experience, with the client having to act on this information between sessions. This more “scientific” process also makes for an approach that lends itself to an online format.

The efficacy of CBT as an online intervention is borne out by the number of sites specifically offering online CBT in a variety of formats (for some examples, see here and here). The online availability of this well researched and well-verified approach to managing mental health problems offers increased affordability, accessibility and greater choice for mental health consumers.

Dr. Stacey Leibowitz-Levy is a highly-experienced psychologist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and a PhD in the area of stress and its relation to goals and emotion. Dr. Stacey has wide ranging skills and expertise in the areas of trauma, complex trauma, anxiety, stress and adjustment issues. Stacey enjoys spending time with her husband and children, being outdoors and doing yoga.

Guest Post by Diamond EhealthInformer: Can some Mental Health Problems be treated with Technology?

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

As we move into 2017 going full steam ahead, we can see how far technology has come in recent years. I wanted to set myself the task of finding out how far this tech had come in terms of treating mental illnesses, as there is some speculation and fogginess to the science and results that people are supposedly getting.

It turns out that there are multiple useful and FDA approved technologies that do indeed help treat mental health problems. In this article, I aim to uncover some actionable, useful data and solutions that will aid sufferers of various mental health issues.

Crisis Centres

This solution may surprise you, but it utilizes technology and has proven to be very effective in serious circumstances. When people feel pushed to the end of their tether with anxiety and depression, they need to be talked to, supported and experience a sense of connection to alleviate the feeling of alienation. Sometimes your best friends and family members aren’t available or you don’t feel like talking to them. You want something completely confidential, which is why text and call centres are so effective.

They’re always open and running, plus the staff are fully trained for both mild and severe cases of anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses. You can always rely on someone picking up at the other end that will know how to talk to you and do their best to bring you back to a state of calm through grounding techniques.

Having the option to text message or call is also beneficial for those who prefer to communicate in different manners. Some sufferers may not feel like talking, but texting will work for them and their mood at that given time. On the contrary, hearing a soothing and reassuring voice on the other end of the line may be more effective for certain sufferers. Both options are there to use, whenever and wherever a person may need them.

Using Apps for Improved Mental Wellness

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There are thousands of mental health apps available for both iOS and Android phones. That being said, it’s important that before you download anything, that you do your research. Given the fact that there are so many apps to choose from, you can take an educated guess and see that a lot of them won’t be very effective.

Also, be sure to check the privacy settings for the apps you’d like to download, as you’ll most likely be entering personal information and data into them. You can always protect your information using privacy tools, removing some of the worry and stress from using specific apps.

Apps such as Pacifica help to monitor and alleviate stress levels so that individuals can work out and reduce anxiety symptoms through cognitive behavioral therapy and relaxation techniques. By using an app such as Pacifica, you can prevent your symptoms from worsening and control your stress levels to produce a healthy state of mind.

Spire

 

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Spire works through wearing a clip-on device that measures your emotions, sending signals through to your smartphone which will alert you as to what your body is currently experiencing. I know this may sound a little “out there,” but Spire has been proven to reduce stress levels by up to 50 percent in certain scenarios. When emotions are detected, the device will send signals to your phone, which then pop up on your screen telling you how you can improve your mood and emotional well-being.

The nifty device is easily clipped to a belt or bra for completely anonymous use. Repetitive high-stress levels can lead to physical health issues affecting the digestive and reproductive system (as well as other areas of the body). Stress can leave you feeling drained and lethargic, so having a device that alerts you to your emotional wellbeing and gives you advice and tips on how to reduce those stress levels is very useful.

 

Conclusion

I set out to discover whether technology really could help to treat mental health problems and to see what some of the most effective and accessible treatments available are. I think it’s fair to say that there are many ways in which technology can aid sufferers of various mental illnesses. Using apps, crisis centres, and body measuring devices we can stay on top of our stress levels, and use signals to prevent our conditions and symptoms from worsening.

I feel that using these technological solutions will work best in collaboration with any existing treatment a sufferer is undergoing- with a supportive medical team. Through using medication and counseling, these modern alternatives can provide additional beneficial results that could  boost the recovery of a patient.

Guest Post by Juno Medical: 9 Things People with Anxiety Disorders Would Rather not Hear You Say

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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Anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and social anxiety disorders. 1 in 12 people suffers from anxiety globally, and women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety.

If you feel overwhelmed by the behaviour of a person with anxiety, try to put yourself in their shoes, and show understanding, not stigma.

For more see www.junomedical.com

 

Full Circle- From Bipolar and Mental Illness to Recovery

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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It was summer 2014. I sat on a sadly impersonal green NHS couch in a quiet side room , my feet dangling over the edge, holding my wordsearch book and counting down the hours until I could leave the Day Unit. I had been feeling exhausted from my new medication, wobbly, teary and lacking in confidence all day and I had just started taking Lithium as a therapeutic medication. As such I had weekly blood tests as the Lithium level in my blood fluctuated between 0.4 and the optimum dose of 0.8, where you start to feel much better.  Lithium has to reach a certain amount in the blood to work on your brain (where it stops or tames mania and mood disorders).  They also had to check it didn’t become toxic in my blood and so weekly tests were needed which were exhausting at the time.

I had just received test results that day informing me that I was feeling a bit fragile because the Lithium was only at 0.4 in my blood. All I wanted to do was hide away from the rest of the therapy group in that little room, peacefully colouring in photos and doing wordsearches to keep me occupied. All I really wanted to do was go home, to where I felt safe and I didn’t have to face the reality of being ill.

This was at the beginning of my recovery journey in 2014. I had left hospital as an in patient after a manic episode and was a voluntary patient at an Acute Day Unit specialising in group therapies. Eventually, I grew to love it and the other people there- although I always wanted to leave faster than the Doctors thought I was ready! I stayed there 3 months in total and some people stay there 2 weeks. I very much needed the healing nature of the therapies even though I didn’t feel it at the time.

I realised these past few weeks how far I have come in my journey- from ill service user needing the support of my psychiatrist, nurses and OTs, to not needing that support currently (on 6 monthly psychiatrist meetings) and helping others in a similar setting in my new job.

I really have come full circle. There may be times when I am ill again in the future or not feeling at my best. I may need more support again. I may get panic attacks or mania or depression. However, for now I am feeling positive and hoping I stay well for a long time on my medication.

Recovery is possible. I am so thankful to all who have helped me on my journey and continue to provide guidance and love.

Be Ur Own Light is One year old!

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

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I can’t believe my blog, Be Ur Own Light – started on March 1, 2016 is 1 year old today.

My journey with blogging has been so exciting, inspiring and wonderful. It has reached every part of the world and a huge number of countries in UK, Europe, USA, Canada and South America, China, India and other Asian countries, Africa, the Middle East and Australasia. It is such a blessing to be read world wide!

When I began this blog it was a diary to explain and help recover from my anxiety disorder. However, over time it has evolved into so much more!

As I grew in confidence and found other kindred spirits in my writing, I began to write for other organisations and also receive and upload guest posts on mental health topics.

This year I have written blogs for Rethink Mental Illness, Time to Change, Bipolar UK, Self Harm UK, Phobia Support Forum, Counsellors Cafe, Monologues Project and the Bossing It! Academy. I have written 4 blogs for Rethink and have loved collaborating with each charity and organisation. Special mention to Louie Rodrigues at Rethink.

I have also received amazing guest posts from these wonderful charities and writers who shared their hearts in order to battle stigma. Thank you:

– Breathe Life
-Ashley Owens at Generally Anxious
– ISMA stress management
– Stephanie at Making Time for Me
– Adar (PTSD)
– Deepdene Care
– Joshua (bipolar article)
– Michael J Russ
-Richie at Live Your Now
– Megan at the Manic Years
– Quite Great Music psychotherapy
-Lystia Putranto and Karina Ramos
-Eugene Farrell at AXA PPP
-Marcus at Psychsi
– Paradigm Centre San Francisco

I can’t wait to receive more guest submissions over time!

In the past year Be Ur Own Light has grown into a #lighttribe of thousands. On Twitter we are now 2,287 , Facebook 265 of my friends and family, Instagram is 2156,  and we have 127 dedicated WordPress followers. Thank you to each and every one of you for following, commenting, sharing and reading and for helping fight stigma through talking..

This blog has also raised money for Jami mental health charity and I am excited to be starting work for Jami soon.

Its been an incredible year of sharing, writing and breaking down barriers. Its OK to talk about mental illness and mental health. Its alright to feel lost or broken or ill. Seek support for recovery and you can get better. You are not alone.

With gratitude and love on our first birthday 

Guest post by Marcus – 7 Tips to Improve the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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Bipolar disorder (formerly referred to as manic depression) is a condition characterized by mood oscillations- moving between high and low mood. A person suffering from bipolar disorder experiences mood changes and these changes are often erratic and unforeseen.

Symptoms of this disorder regularly change and that is one of the reasons why it can be such a difficult condition to treat and keep a consistent state of mood and activity for sufferers. However, it is possible!

Little things can help and here are 7 tips that might just help make symptoms slightly better:

  1. Make sure you get the Right Amount of Sleep

People who suffer from bipolar disorder often have erratic sleeping patterns. It is believed that one-quarter of these cases sleep too much at night while about a one-third experience difficulty in falling sleep, thereby suffering from insomnia.

As irregular sleeping patterns may precipitate depressive episodes, experts advise setting up an alarm to ensure one gets up at the same time each morning as well as setting fixed hours for sleep in the evening so that the body can adapt to this necessary function.

  1. Consistently take your prescribed Medication

According to Cara Hoepner, a nurse practitioner who also has this condition, discipline is the key when it comes to taking medication prescribed for bipolar disorder. However, she also agrees this can be a difficult task, seeing as some of the medications commonly prescribed (such as Lithium) require constant monitoring via blood tests to ensure they do not become harmful to the patient. Lithium can be toxic in rare cases and so its important to work with a good medical team.

Coupled with the fact that skipping medication will often trigger a relapse, she advises that all patients with this condition should exercise diligence and discipline in taking their meds. Tablet boxes can be very helpful for multiple medications.

  1. Shun Drugs and Alcohol

An expert in bipolar disorder, Bearden, claims that nearly half of patients of bipolar disorder have problems with substance abuse. He also states that this is one of the major reasons why many treatments do not succeed, due to it impeding recovery.

He therefore advises that while alcohol may appear a welcome refuge for bipolar patients in that it temporarily relieves depression, the mere fact that it triggers a depressive state in the brain as well as erratic sleeping patterns and mood oscillations, goes against the purpose. In addition, alcohol and drugs may impair cognitive functioning and hinder chances of  recovery- they exacerbate high and low episodes in the condition.

  1. Invest in Therapy

One of the best ways to improve bipolar disorder symptoms is to invest in therapy, including talking therapies, CBT, art therapy and more. While it may seem unappealing to many patients, therapy actually goes a long way in improving their chances of recovery.

Cognitive behavioural therapy helps patients understand and interpret events and thoughts, thereby enabling them to get back to their normal routine. There are other therapies which assist recovery and maintaining stable relationships .

  1. Learn the Triggers

Learning the triggers of bipolar disorder may help the patient nip the episode in the bud by actually dealing with these triggers before they develop into a full-blown episode.

Some of the triggers that make people unwell include sleep deprivation, social isolation and stressors eg divorce, death, change or job or having a baby . Other major changes in your life may also trigger depressive or manic tendencies, especially if they disrupt your routine so be careful to look after yourself in times of high stress.

  1. Learn the Side Effects

The most common side effect of taking Lithium or other anti psychotic medication  is metabolic syndrome, a side effect that majorly involves the impairment in the functionality of the kidney and the pancreas. A spectrum of effects such as high cholesterol, insulin resistance and weight gain would ensue, and this is where you need to deal with the to keep optimal health. A healthy diet and exercise is always important.

  1. Connect with Friends and Family (Support Network)

If you have a good support network, its so important to share how you are feeling with    close relations or best friends. By discussing your problems with those you trust, they hopefully will provide the emotional support needed to get through difficulties and help recommend further treatment or come with you to the Doctor.

In a nut shell, do not sit back and let your mood disorder take over without help. Speak out and let your friends and family help you out. In some families, there is a stigma so please do be careful as to who you let in when you are unwell.

Living with bipolar disorder is not an easy experience. However, by understanding how to deal with the symptoms, you can certainly improve your symptoms to keep you healthy and well. Read widely and remember that however debilitating episodes can be, Bipolar can be managed on medication and with therapy and. support. You are not alone.

Marcus regularly blogs at psysci, a psychology, science blog that examines the latest research and explains how findings can impact and improve people’s lives

Therapy Tales Part One.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

My therapy journey began at just 15 years old- when I went to see the school counsellor for talking therapy due to suffering my first anxious and depressive episode (before I was diagnosed as bipolar).

Since then- 13 years later, I have tried many different kinds of therapies to help heal me from my anxiety disorder and help manage my bipolar disorder. Therapy still has a stigma, which is wrong,- but it is vital to the healing and recovery of mental illness and general healing from stressful life events eg deaths, divorce, moving house, illness.

I have done many forms of therapy, starting off with talking therapies- where you talk to your therapist about whats going on in your life (and sometimes they psychoanalyse in order to help you). I then did 3 lots of Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT). This is where you unpack your negative thoughts and assumptions that cause your illness in thought records, where you learn to challenge thoughts and change behaviour. However, for me, CBT was frustrating. I felt like I couldn’t fully apply it and it didn’t click with my brain.

I felt that the anxiety and panic I was dealing with was very much in the subconscious- and so the CBT could not eradicate the emotional, deep response that had formed within me to certain situations. It was then I began to realise the power of exposure therapy- which is essentially, exposing yourself to your feared situation slowly, with support. The more I went out, the more people I saw and the more I did, the anxiety began to lessen. It boosted my self esteem too to know I could overcome my fears. It is something that has to be practised and you have to be kind to yourself too and in the right head space for it to work,.

Of course, therapy works in conjunction with medications and it is also vital to make sure you like your therapist and have a good relationship with them. If you dread seeing them and you aren’t getting much from it, they are likely to be the wrong therapist for you.

I have done many other therapies: art therapy (which I loved and recommend hugely if you enjoy it), meditation and deep breathing (which I still do and which really helps my anxiety) and of course the unique therapy that friends and family bring. There are more therapies out there including ACT and its always worth googling therapies.

Ultimately, don’t be too scared about sharing with a therapist. They are trained professionals, have seen it before and they are there to support you. It is also very much trial and error. Even though CBT wasn’t for me, I found other therapies which have worked.

Just be aware that NHS therapy waiting lists are months long, so if you have the money to get private care, do.

I have worked with both psychologists, psychotherapists, occupational therapists (during a period of group therapy) and of course psychiatrists in order to keep well. It is very much a collaborative effort and now I am much better, I can deal with it with my support network (with my psychiatrist in the background)

I hope you find the right course of therapy for you and know you can heal from whatever stresses you are dealing with.

The Bossing It! Academy- a Journey of Self Discovery and Recovery.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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I first discovered the Bossing It Academy when one of its founders, Holly Matthews started following me and contacted me on Twitter. Holly and her friend  Caroline Hardwick (a life coach and psychologist), were keen to share their message of positivity, healing, law of attraction, mindfulness and above all, self esteem and discovery. So, my connection with the Bossing it Academy began.

So what is the Academy and how does it work?

The Academy is a structured plan designed to boost confidence, self awareness, self esteem and to make positive changes in its clients lives. It inspires its clients to achieve their dreams positively, using the best that modern psychology has to offer. It is a 6 week self development academy, using the Law of Attraction, positive affirmations, ebooks and audios to help people make positive changes into their life plan.

As Holly and Caroline state,

‘ In this academy you will learn how to attract positivity into your life and swerve around the challenges that spring up. You will be guided to create the life you have always wanted and taught how feel grateful and happy, regardless of where you are currently at.’

The notions of gratitude and positive psychology are key to the success of the Academy. It helps those who feel overwhelmed by modern life and stresses eg mental health issues or who are stuck in a life rut. It teaches its clients that they can achieve anything they want, regardless of circumstance.

When you sign up to the Academy you get the following included:

-Weekly webinars, with your theme for the week.

– Daily audios, to get you in the right frame of mind for the day.

– A techniques e-book, with techniques you can use to stay focused and positive during and after the 6 weeks.

– The bossing it! ebook, which gives you everything you have learnt in a visual format.

– Weekly short videos, with themes to help keep your mindset on track

–  A guide to Affirmations and Affirmation examples

–  The ‘Oh sh*t’ audios for those times of high stress

–  Your bossing it! workbook, with a journal to fill out daily

–  Certificate on completion of the full 6 weeks

–  Access to a private Facebook community, where you get extra content and live coaching

–  A tried and tested 6 week programme that is used by celebrities and influencers

The key to the success of the Academy is that Holly and Caroline are incredibly hands on with their clients. They have a unique facebook group offering support to its clients, with both being reachable my phone and online for guidance and appointments. They are dedicated, kind professionals whose ability to guide you through your process of positive discovery is second to none. Holly also makes Facebook Live videos with healing, guided meditations that focus on positivity and achieving. I sat in on the Calm and Clarity meditation and found it to be incredibly calming and healing, focusing on mindfulness and breathing. Holly is very personable and a true professional at what she does.

The group of Academy clients are hugely supportive and kind to one another. This helps as part of the therapeutic process, as clients feel part of a positive, recovery focused group and assist one another through the 6 week process of work books, videos, affirmations and all that encompasses the Academy.

In the group, I asked fellow clients to share their stories of how the Academy has changed their lives and here are some quotes from their stories. These are real testimonials from clients working on the Academy right now, whose lives have changed for the better. (names changed):

‘I started the academy as I had no self confidence ,I had body dysmorphia and other mental health issues. I hated myself so much thatIi didnt understand why my husband was with me and I argued with him over women he works with. I had visions of things happening in my head ,bad things like crashes, him cheating etc to the point where I didn’t want to leave the house and If I did leave I’d never go alone. I spent all my time with my children and  felt guilty having me time

Once I started the academy I started on my self confidence doing the affirmations, Work book and audios I soon stopped the negative and just used to think positively until I believed and then I didn’t worry as much.  I’ve now started my own business with a positive vibe- I would never have thought it could work before as  everything was just an idea! I’ve been going out on my own and I’ve been putting time aside for me! My goals.are high and I know I can reach them’    (‘Mary’)

  ‘Since being a part of the academy my entire thought process has changed and after suffering with horrendous OCD, since being 8 years old, I can now say I’m 80% better than I’ve ever been in the short space of time being a part of this amazing community. I see beauty everywhere like a cloud has been lifted and look forward to life instead of just plodding on. (‘Miranda’)

‘I  know I was guided to the academy, I was at a point in my life where I was starting to doubt if anything would get better. I have great family, friends and a fantastic relationship but everything else seemed to be stagnant. I was really struggling to stay positive. I read book after book on the law of attraction but nothing seemed to click with me. Then the academy came along and it’s like a light bulb. The care and attention Holly and Caroline give to us all is amazing, they have helped me understand how I can make my life great. It’s like coming out of the fog and seeing clear.’ (‘Claudia’)

‘I  began the incredible bossing it academy after suffering a very nasty panic attack on the 1st of December 2016. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years and spent a lot of my childhood living with a dad who suffered from very severe mental illness which impacted on my life.  My mum had been following Holly on Instagram for awhile and always had remarked on what an incredible, beautiful, positive lady she was and after my panic attack emailed her without me knowing to ask for her help and guidance as she too was struggling to know how to help me…. However, very quickly my dark, stormy world began to be filled with sunshine and with the support, guidance, tools, care and love that the bossing it academy provides my world has been transformed.’ (Lisa)

Each of these clients had genuine transformations in their lives in just 6 weeks due to the professionalism and warmth that Holly and Caroline provide.

For more on the Bossing it Academy and how you can get involved, visit http://www.iamhollymatthews.com/bossingit/

Twitter:  @imbossingit     and  @hollymatthews

Guest post: Loneliness at Valentines (by Eugene Farrell, AXA PPP)

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

Valentine’s Day. For some, it’s a day full of romance and spending time with loved ones, yet for others, this focus can make them feel more isolated and alone.

According to the Office for National Statistics, Britain is the loneliness capital of Europe, with many Brits unlikely to know their neighbours or feel they have friendships that they believe they can rely on in a crisis.

Research by the charity, Relate, found that 9% of Brits of all ages don’t have a single close friend, while separately, a study by AXA PPP healthcare that British adults aged 18 to 24 are four times as likely to feel consistently lonely than those over 70.

 “The build-up to Valentine’s Day and the day itself can be quite intense, which is difficult for those who are already feeling isolated or lonely,” explains Eugene Farrell, Head of Trauma Support Services at AXA PPP healthcare.

“Although loneliness is often associated with the elderly, it’s actually an issue which can affect the physical and mental wellbeing of people of all ages.”

“In fact, studies have found that loneliness can increase the risk of high blood pressure, and have an impact on cognitive decline, dementia and depression. While addressing your experience of loneliness may take time, taking steps to build new and improve existing connections will help to improve your overall wellbeing.”

Here, Eugene gives his top tips on how to overcome feelings of loneliness:

1.     Making new connections can be an obvious way to combat loneliness and yield positive results, for example joining a group or class you are interested in will increase your chances of meeting like-minded people to connect with. Increasingly too we are turning to the internet for companionship, with community groups existing in almost every niche interest group you could imagine.

2.     Be more open. If you feel that you have plenty of connections but don’t feel close to any of them, the underlying issue may be that you need to open up to them more to deepen your connection, as an example letting the friend or acquaintance in on a vulnerability felt or your honest opinion about an issue.

3.     Stop comparing yourself to others. The desire to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ is not a new one, however the rise of social media has only exacerbated the problem by giving individuals the chance to constantly compare themselves to others. If you’re already feeling lonely, the idea that everyone else’s life is more idyllic than yours can make you feel even more isolated and alone. This can lead us to ‘compare and despair’ – which further exacerbates our negative experiences. Remind yourself that people only share what they want others to see about their lives. Don’t form unrealistic expectations about life and friendship based on what you see online.

4.     Keep all lines of communication open. Having a chat with a friend or relative over the phone can be the next best thing to being with them. Or you can stay connected with loved ones online. Video chat, exchange photos and keep up to date with the latest news from friends and family with Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or simply keep in contact by email.

5.     Volunteering is also a great way to meet new people and feel good about helping others. It will not only allow you to give something back to your community but will also help you to feel more connected, involved and needed. There are lots of volunteering roles that need your skills and experience. It can also have a positive effect upon your mental health through helping others.

6.     Pride comes before a fall. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people and ask for help, companionship or just a chat. They may be feeling lonely too!

7.     Take it slow. If you’ve felt lonely for a while, or experience anxiety around new social situations, throwing yourself in at the deep end could only act to exacerbate the problem. Instead, dip your toes into the water first by going to a local café or sports event where you are surrounded by people, and just enjoy sharing their company. Or try a class where you can dive into the activity itself to distract you from the pressure of introducing yourself to people straight away. With loneliness, slow and steady often wins the race.

If you think you might be struggling with symptoms of loneliness, find more tips and advice at AXA PPP healthcare’s Mental Health Centre.

Guest Post by Adar: Relationship Abuse and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

Adar talks about the relationship abuse and PTSD they have suffered and how they are near recovery, with a combination of therapies including EMDR treatment. 

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and I have been in each other’s lives for past 10 years. Yet, up until 3 years ago, it was my secret…that I had no name for.

I am very close to my recovery (yes, recovery), which is why I feel I can write this blog now, to highlight the following:

A. I was 18 when my abusive relationship started, he was also 18, and yes…he was Jewish, and known within a circle of Jewish people (I am Jewish). Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age, of any race.

B. PTSD: Because I have it now, doesn’t mean I will have it forever. I am getting the help I need to treat it, and my PTSD isn’t triggered 99.9 percent of the time. Be kind to everyone you meet, as that person may be going through a secret struggle.

C. There are varying degrees of PTSD, yes some people are affected enough to not leave the house. I am fortunate enough this isn’t my case, but a lot of people can get out, everyone’s triggers are different, and everyone reacts differently when triggered.

D. My message to anyone with PTSD: please please please get help, or please put a close one in touch with help. The treatments work, you can get the treatments on the NHS (and maybe even through your work), and via Private facilities. I have put two links below to two very helpful websites:

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Post-traumatic-stress-disorder/Pages/Treatment.aspx

http://www.ptsduk.org/

So, here is my story:

I was in an abusive relationship from the age of 18 for 3 years. If you google abuse, you will find five types; I experienced four- emotional, physical, religious, sexual…and I assume if my relationship had entered into marriage…financial.

When it comes to expressing my feelings about what happened to me, I became the master at making people think that everything was ok. But behind closed doors, I was in shock, mentally and physically… for years.

Friends that were around at time, had no idea what was happening to me, and neither did my own parents. In the aftermath, I buried everything, out of protection for the people around me, and because I was still trying process what had happened me. Physically, I was already showing signs of my mental state; being diagnosed with a lung condition because acid had mysteriously tipped into my lungs (looking back, potentially caused by the fight or flight, cortisol/stress, or something similar).

During all of this, I somehow managed to completed 2 degree’s (to a high standard), completed a summer on Camp as a leader in America, and Produced a year-long theatre production ….however, I was secretly drowning, and I couldn’t find a way to swim back to shore.

Fast forward, and 3 years ago, I started having panic attacks (4 years after I was well clear of the danger). At first these happened during the day, then started happening during my sleep. At times, this also came with an inability to speak, which there no physical explanation was for. It culminated in a trip to A & E, as my brain basically broke down. Before all of this, I had never had a panic attack, and I was not an anxious person.

A few months later, I was formally diagnosed with PTSD by my consultant, and after a wait, because of a bipolar 2 disorder diagnosis at the same time, I started EMDR treatment.

EMDR is AMAZING. FULL. STOP. It works by processing traumatic images that are stuck on one side of the brain, which couldn’t process themselves. When triggered, these images are like reliving the trauma (the image pops back up in your head). My therapist grades my disturbance on a scale of 1-10, and then uses my eye movements to process the images (by waving her fingers in front of my eyes). The idea is that the disturbance level decreases each time/ over time. It seems to be working for me; my therapist went over the list of problems I came to her with 2 months ago, and we checked a lot off the list! J

My therapist has also cleared up something important for me, which I want to pass on. I walked around trying to understand why I froze…why I just froze. My therapist said:

‘When things we cannot process at the time are happening to us, there is a survival instinct that makes us freeze…. After years of trying to figure it out, why someone so strong natured…just froze… now I understand. I hope that thought helps someone else out there, still trying to understand. We were trying to survive.’

With all the help I have been given, and the support of everyone close to me, I have managed to find a way to forgive my abuser, not for his sake, but for mine. I was carrying around a lot of hate and anger, and it was taking me down, from the inside. I am not suggesting this will work for everyone, but it has for me. I can move on now knowing that karma will one day kick in…and God is watching everything.

To conclude, yes, sometimes I feel like a ticking time bomb, and yes, I have to be vigilant of potential triggers right now, (I carry a bottle of cinnamon with me, in case I feel overwhelmed: using a sense to distract the brain), and I think I will always struggle to tell my friends what really happened (but they have been amazing), but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I didn’t think I’d be able to say this 3 months ago, but bring on my knight in shining armour…ok ok…. maybe just a date, with a nice boy…in Nandos restaurant and a life full of my fulfilling dreams. Bring.it.on.

‘Back from the edge, back from the dead

Back before demons took control of my head

Back to the start, back to my heart

Back to the [girl] who would reach for the stars’

– James Arthur