12 Tips on how to Accept Yourself: Guest post by Spela Kranjec

I know that everyone suffering from an eating disorder wants some magical cure. But there is no such cure. And I can’t give you one, even though I had anorexia and searched for such a cure for whole nine years. But I can give you some useful tips that helped me – and they might also help you.

I also described my entire experience in a book for which I just launched a Kickstarter campaign which you can visit here :https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/spelakranjec/notice-me-my-9-year-struggle-against-anorexia.

I’m sure you’ll find something that will help you find your own happiness.

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Here are my 12 tips:

  1. Find your motivation

After I overcome anorexia the first time, I relapsed a few years later – and it was even worse. Thinking about it today, why it happened, I’m convinced that it’s because I didn’t want to get better the first time. I got better because my parents made me. I needed to find my purpose to reach recovery.

Today I am aware of how important it is that you do something because you want to do it and are motivated to do it. I discovered myself that finding motivation when you’re at the lowest point in your life is far from simple. But I’ve also proven that it is possible.

  1. Don’t give up 

Know that you will have moments where life is really difficult, so get ready for them. These are turning points in your life, so you can’t give up.

  1. Read a motivational book and attend a workshop on personal growth

There are many books and workshops on the subject of personal growth – some are more technical, while others include personal experiences of people who faced a similar situation to the one you face.

These books are filled with advice that could be helpful. Furthermore, reading these books will help you realize that you’re not alone.

  1. Go shopping

You don’t actually have to buy anything – you can just go window shopping. Try on a gown, browse free samples in a cosmetics shop, go to a furniture store and find the most comfortable sofa – anything to distract you and make you happy.

  1. Spend time in nature

If you don’t like big shopping centres and prefer to spend time in nature, take every opportunity to do so. I’m one of such people. I love to climb mountains, spending hours sweating to reach the top, where I can enjoy a wonderful view and a delicious sandwich. This makes me forget all my worries, and I come home a new person. And afterwards, I can look in the mirror at home and tell myself, “Damn, you’re not too bad!” 😉

  1. Socialize

Human beings are social creatures, and solitude has a negative effect on us. We need love, we need laughter, and we need to feel accepted. Without this, it’s inevitable that your thoughts, stuck as you are between four walls, will become occupied by the negative. And suddenly everything will become negative – even you. So don’t let that happen.

  1. Write a diary

If you have problems sharing your problems with others, find a new way to express yourself – maybe start writing a diary. You can also write down a list of positive characteristics that you like about yourself.

  1. Listed to music / sing / draw / be creative

Find your creativity and keep your mind active. Boredom has a similar effect on us as loneliness – an opportunity for pessimism to creep in.

  1. Do something nice for others

I spend my time with my grandmother. I knew she was lonely and that a cup of coffee shared with her granddaughter meant a lot to her. It was heartwarming spending time with her in a cafe, listening to her talk, because I could see how important that moment was for her.

  1. Find something that will make you feel useful

You’ve certainly done something for which you received praise. The feeling was phenomenal, right? Remember what you felt at that time – a feeling of pride, success, joy. So make sure there are more moments like that.

  1. Visit a counsellor

If you’re feeling completely down and think you can’t do it on your own, seek help. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I sought help from a psychiatrist. Even though I was ashamed at the time, I am so happy I did it. Ultimately, it helped me become happy and well again by working with a professional.

  1. Talk about your problems

Never shut yourself off from others and isolate. That’s the worst that can happen! If you isolate yourself and don’t talk about your problems, negative thoughts may get worse. So find someone you trust and share your feelings – you will feel much better!

Most importantly, never give up! I’ve proved that it’s possible – and so can you! To find out how I did it, visit https://www.notice-me.net/free-chapter/.

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Winter blues, Depression and Social anxiety by Eleanor

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(image : http://www.caring-crate.com)

In the past few weeks, I have found that all I want to do is stay inside, under a cosy blanket in my little nook on the couch, reading lots of good books or watching something good on TV (by good I mean my favourite reality shows at this time of year!). I have been practising a lot of self care activities as I havn’t been feeling at my strongest or happiest this week. I think I may have seasonal depression but I am not sure if its the winter blues – probably the winter lack of light combined with my bipolar brain chemistry.

Sometimes I  will phone or whatsapp my friends, I will take long bubble baths and sing in the tub (feeling like some kind of surreal movie like Amelie) , I have discovered a new love for the Body Shop seaweed clay facial mask (it leaves my skin so soft and moisturised and helps my spots). I have wrapped myself in my pink, Beauty and the Beast blanket (without make up on) and just enjoyed the freedom of being. Of resting and being in the moment. Of being more mindful.

There have been times when this has become a bad thing. I’ve spent several nights this week on my own and there have been days where my anxiety has increased and I havn’t wanted to go outside. This is because its cold and dark (winter here in England), I don’t want to interact with random people or I just don’t want to be out in this weather when I could be warm and cosy at home.  I am an introvert (who also loves people). My introvert side craves time on my own but this is also part of my social anxiety.

However, every anxiety win.. like going to a gig in Holborn with my Dad and using the Tube (I forgot about the lack of personal space) or hanging out with my fiance or friends without cancelling on them, has been good. In truth though, I have had to cancel a lot of plans this week and luckily have very understanding people in my life. I hate letting people down but sometimes I can’t cope- the adrenaline pumps and things feel too much for me, too overwhelming.

I have felt overwhelmed and mildly depressed this week. However, I am coming to the slow realisation that this is OK. Its alright to struggle and to want human contact but also to find it overwhelming too.

I do need to get more fresh air though, exercise more and be healthier. Part of the lure of being inside is that its relaxing and ‘safer’ but the outside world is not as scary as my head decides it is when its cold and dark in winter.

I think I have mild seasonal depression- so its really important I do all I can to work with that and go outside my comfort zone- when all I really want is to be a doormouse surrounded by those I love and sometimes curled up on my own!

I am going to start talking therapy again soon as theres been a lot of stressful things going on, so hopefully that will help too.

How do you help your seasonal depression?

  Eleanor x

Suicide Prevention on Social media: Guest post by Dan Brown at MyTherapy for World Mental Health Day

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I recall reading a story last year about two teenage students from a town in Denver, both of whom lost their lives to suicide within two days of one-another.

In both cases, the students had made their intentions known on social media.

Countless similar stories can be found online. In many cases, such as the one above, people did attempt to reach out to those in need. In other cases, online cries for help were ignored or not taken seriously.

Teen Suicide Rates are Rising

Between 2010 and 2017, the number of teenage suicides in England and Wales increased by 67%.

In London, the figure is rising at an even greater rate, while a similar trend is occurring on the other side of the Atlantic, with the suicide rate of children and teenagers between 10 and 17 years old increasing by 70% in a decade since 2006.

The Role of Social Media in Suicide Prevention

While many believe social media is at least partially responsible for the rising rates of teenage suicides – due to matter such as cyber-bullying – it can be used as an effective tool for suicide prevention. This goes for any user of social media, not just teenagers.

The major platforms themselves are actively engaged in suicide prevention, but much of the onus is on individuals to respond should they encounter a post pertaining to suicide from a friend, family member, or anybody else.

Contacting the Emergency Services

First-and-foremost, you should not hesitate in contacting the emergency services if you believe someone’s life is in imminent danger. Any indications that someone is preparing to take their own life should be treated as a medical emergency. If need-be, contact closer friends or relatives of the person in question as well, to ensure help can arrive as quickly as possible.

In such situations, particularly if the person has made their intentions clear, the danger is obvious.

However, it is not always so easy to spot when a person needs help, or to differentiate between someone simply ‘venting’ after having a bad day and a more serious mental health issue.

The Warning Signs

Spotting the signs that a person may be contemplated suicide based on their social media activity can be difficult, given the absence of body language or tone of voice in many posts, especially those that are purely text rather than photos or videos.

However, there are some warning signs you can look out for.

  • Tone
    While tone of voice by not be present in a lot of social media posts, you will probably be familiar with the tone your friends and family members take on social media. A negative change in tone may be subtle or happen gradually over time, but it should not be overlooked. If you start to notice more posts that strike you as odd or out-of-character, it could be that person’s way of expressing negative emotions.
  • Signs of Anger or Lashing Out
    “Anger turned inward” is how Sigmund Freud described depression, a characterisation that is debated to this day. What seems beyond debate is that anger often coexists with depression, and that it can be outward as well as inward. Therefore, if you see someone reacting angrily or lashing out online, it could suggest they are struggling mentally. Again, this should be particularly alarming if it is out-of-character for that person.
  • Sad Posts
    Of course, sadness is the most obvious emotion to link with depression. When it comes to social media, this could be shown in sharing sad memes and pictures, or posts discrediting their own self-worth. Frequent posts of this nature could be a cry for help and should not be ignored.

 

It is also worth paying attention to the time of day the person is posting, as insomnia is a common symptom of depression. As such, regular posts late at night or in the early hours may be another warning sign.

Reaching Out to Someone You Are Concerned About

If you are concerned about someone’s wellbeing, raising your concerns with them is usually far from easy and must be done sensitively. However, many people struggle to talk about their mental wellbeing, be it through embarrassment, fear of ridicule, or any other reason perpetuated by the stigma surrounding the topic.

If you are the one to raise the issue, it can help break that barrier immediately.

There is also the myth that talking about suicide is a bad idea and could encourage a person to take their own life, which has contributed in making suicide taboo subject. Again, being the one to raise the topic, if appropriate, can help make a person feel more comfortable in discussing their concerns.

This article from Helpguide.org does a superb job of explaining the steps you can take in opening the dialogue.

Contacting Someone Closer to the Person

You do not have to be a close friend or family member to raise your concerns with a person. Given that we are discussing social media, you can even be the other side of the world.

However, you may ultimately decide that you are not the best person to speak directly to the individual you are concerned about.

That, however, does not mean you are unable to help.

Contacting someone closer to them – either physically or emotionally – clearly and considerately explaining why you are concerned, may encourage that person to bring the issue up. Perhaps they too have noticed the signs but were unsure whether to address them. Your message could be the push they need to do so.

You Can Help a Person in Need

It is quite likely that nothing in this article is new or surprising to you. However, many cries for help on social media go ignored. In the most tragic of cases, lives are needlessly lost. So, if you do find yourself in a situation where a friend or loved one is using social media in such a way, just remember: you can be the one to help. You may even save a life.

 

This article was contributed by Dan Brown from MyTherapy (free for iOS and Android).

How Meditation can improve our Mental health and wellbeing: Guest post by Jennifer Bennet

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(image: Erriko Boccia at Unsplash )

Ahead of tomorrows World Mental Health Day, we are publishing articles focusing on our mental health.

Meditation has long been a tool used in mental health counselling and it is one that has been proven to be highly effective with coping with stress and anxiety as well as depression and other mental health issues. Medication is often a vital treatment for mental health issues, but meditation is also an ideal practice to integrate into a daily routine to help as well and the benefits of meditation are outstanding.

A great deal of our lives in general are spent lost in our thoughts and dealing with our personal feelings. Why not use that time for meditation instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and behaviours?

Besides the fact that taking time for meditation opens your mind to a little peace and quiet, there are so many benefits of meditating that can help mental health issues. Here are five of the best reasons to start meditating today so you can have a happier mind to help with mental health issues.

 

  1. Meditation helps clear your mind so that you can sleep better at night. A well-rested mind is better equipped to handle the stresses of life and keep a good reign on emotions during the waking hours.
  2. Meditation helps manage unhealthy behaviors by helping a person focus on viable solutions to problems. When we focus on just one issue and take time to carefully think about it in a positive way, it is easier to find a solution than it would be to randomly try numerous things to no avail. Mindful meditation allows a person to take time to delve deeply into a situation while focusing on how to resolve an issue wisely.
  3. The production of the hormone cortisol, which is known to weaken the immune system in the body, can be slowed down through meditation. When you have a better immune system, it’s easier to feel less stressed and be able to enjoy life better.
  4. Sitting down to meditate at least once every day can lead to having a better grasp on emotions. When you focus on objective ways to solve problems and face things in life, it is easier to control anger, depression and other emotions.
  5. Meditation helps keep your mind in the present instead of revolving to the past where you may have faced a bad relationship or other hardships. When you let go of the negative things that have a grasp onto your thought process, it is easier to move forward and face life with a renewed sense of self. This can have a profound impact on every aspect of your life including work, relationships and home.

 

How to Meditate

Some people believe that you must have scented candles, incense and soft music to meditate and while those things can certainly help ease your mind to help you find a peaceful calm, they are not at all required to find your way to inner peace and meditation. Here are some simple steps provided by the Taylor Benefits Insurance blog that you can follow to begin your journey into meditation and a firmer grasp on your own mental health and well-being.

 

Set a time

Let’s face it, when we don’t set an alarm to wake up in the morning it’s easy to oversleep and miss out on work and other important things in life. The same goes for meditation. This is an important step to take and once you decide to start meditating, it’s a good idea to try to set a time to do so each day. If you need to set a physical alarm, then get that alarm set and plan to sit down to meditate for at least 10 minutes each day. Consistency is key when you are meditating and it’s a good idea to make time for it every day. This will help keep your mind focused, so you can find your inner peace and start focusing on your problem-solving skills to lower your stress and find a little happiness that you may have forgotten about.

 

Breathe

When you meditate, take time to breathe deeply. From a siting position, sit straight and tall and breathe slowly but deeply. Be sure to wear clothing that won’t restrict breathing, so you can breathe freely during your meditation time.

 

Comfort is Key

No matter where you choose to meditate, try to make it as comfortable as possible. Whether you have a little space in your bedroom or even in the kitchen, pile up some comfy pillows or sit in your favorite chair and let yourself relax completely.

 

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

Before you sit down to meditate, take time to choose one thing and only one thing to focus on during your meditation time. Meditation is not the time to let your mind wander in circles. When we can face one issue at a time and clear them from our mind, its easier to take steps to move forward with life with a sense of peace.

 

Pick Your Mantra and Focus

Now this is where you are going to take a slight step back and say, “What?” Something common to chant as a mantra is simply, “Om” which sounds like you are saying “Oooooooommmmmm” repeatedly. If that one does not work for you, then find a different mantra to chant during your meditation time. What you choose should help you feel relaxed.

While chanting your mantra, find a spot to fixate your eyes upon so you can focus clearly. This can be a candle if you have one, a spot on a wall or even a tiny flower placed across from you. The key is to stay focused throughout the meditation time.

While chanting your mantra, think positive thoughts such as visualising yourself winning a marathon (if you run), earning a promotion at work, completing a major assignment or whatever you feel you need to accomplish in your personal life.

Some people choose CD’s that have been prerecorded with slow, relaxing music on them. A great choice if you want to hear soft sounds would be a nature CD playing sounds of the forest or the ocean. Others prefer silence during meditation. Make some positive affirmation cards to place in your meditation area to help motivate you. These can include simple poetic phrases or even small sentences to help bring your inner peace. You could even listen to a prerecorded meditation CD or a YouTube video to help guide you throughout your meditation.

There is no set way to meditate and what works for one may not work for another. The most important thing is that you take time to meditate, get to know your true inner self and as you move forward you will soon find your way onto the healing path of inner peace and renewal as you learn more about yourself, your feelings and the strength of your own mind.  

 

Jennifer Bennet is a writer on wellbeing and an expert on meditation.

How Physio/ Physical Therapy can help you manage Stress and Anxiety: Guest post by Ashley Smith

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(image: www.physiquemassagetherapy.com)

Stress and anxiety, which can lead to a large number of health problems, are common among people of all ages. The first step toward managing these problems is to change your attitude toward them. Most people think that these are common problems, so they do not pay much attention when it comes to managing them.

However, if you talk about long-term stress, it increases the risk of health conditions like obesity, memory impairment, trouble sleeping, autoimmune diseases, heart problems, high blood pressure, heart attacks, and stroke, etc., so it’s essential to seek quality treatment to deal with them.

You can feel stressed due to several reasons including tough competition in the workplace, family problems, relationship issues, divorce, financial problems, and tiredness, etc. And if you fail to deal with it, you can face further complications.

 

Here are The Symptoms of Stress

-Mood swings and getting frustrated

-Difficulty in controlling your emotions

-The feeling of loneliness and low self-esteem

-Reduced energy levels

-Suffering from conditions like headaches, muscle tension, and chest pain

-Stomach problems like constipation or diarrhea

-Dry mouth and grinding teeth

-Difficulty focusing on your task

Experiencing negative thoughts

Loss of interest in the activities you used to love the most

Facing problem in relaxing and stabilizing your mood

 

A Brief Description of Anxiety

Anxiety, which is experienced by everyone at some point in their lives, can lead to a variety of other problems. When your anxiety progresses into an anxiety disorder, which is a mental health condition, it becomes harder to recover from it. Therefore, seeking quality treatment at the right time remains the only solution for you.

 

Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety

-Avoiding situations, places, and things linked to a horrific event

-Experiencing problems in concentrating at work

-Losing interest in the activities of daily living

-Sleep problems and difficulty in staying calm

-Cold and sweaty hands and feet

-Increased heart rate and feeling nervousness

-Dry mouth and tense muscles

 

So, if you are someone who is living with high-level of stress and anxiety, it’s necessary that you seek proper treatment. Experts believe that physical (physio) therapy is the best way to manage stress and anxiety.

It’s a drug-free treatment for stress and anxiety; therefore, anyone can seek it. It means whether you are an adult above 40 or a 15-year old child if you are struggling with any of these problems, physical (physio) therapy could be a suitable treatment.

 

Here’s how a physical/ physio therapist helps you recover from stress and anxiety.

The best part of consulting a physical/ physio therapist is that they devote their time and resources to identify the underlying cause of your problem so that they can address it with the right therapy techniques.

For figuring out the actual cause of your stress and anxiety, they check your medical history and symptoms. Besides, they may also ask a variety of questions linked to your daily routine to arrive at a reliable diagnosis.

The kind of techniques that physical therapists use show a quick result when it comes to managing stress and anxiety.

For example, if you are experiencing stress due to work pressure or tight deadlines, then they will create a treatment plan that will consist of exercises that promote relaxation.

Massage therapy or therapeutic massage is one of the most effective treatments for relieving stress and anxiety. It not only helps in reducing stress and anxiety, but also improves circulation and lymphatic drainage, boosts mood, cures pain, minimizes inflammation and swelling, and accelerates the healing process.

Physical/ physio therapists use different types of massage therapy techniques such as pressure point massage, Swedish massage, deep tissue massage, and functional message to address individual problems.

According to Excel Sports & Physical Therapy, “Swedish massage is more gentle and targets more superficial tissues, perfect for anyone looking to relax and relieve mental as well as physical stress.

Your therapist may use a variety of aromatic oils while administering therapeutic massage to promote relaxation.

Apart from massage therapy, your physical therapist may also use manual therapy to address the signs and symptoms of stress and anxiety.

A unique form of hands-on treatment, manual therapy helps in enhancing the ability of your body parts to function effectively. When your body parts work in harmony with each other, you naturally feel relaxed. While administering this technique, physical (physio) therapists apply pressure on your body through their hands, which feels quite relaxing.

It’s not only used by physical/ physio therapists but also by massage therapists, athletic trainers, and chiropractors, etc., to heal people struggling with pain, discomfort, stress, and anxiety.

So whether you are struggling with stress and anxiety or conditions like the neck, back, shoulder, and knee pain, etc., this therapy can bring a world of difference in your health.

This article was written by Ashley Smith, expert in this area of therapy.

Autumn leaves and Mental Health tales. (by founder Eleanor)

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(image: http://www.thechakrahouse.co.uk/chakra-hygge-fairy-lights/)

I wanted to write this blog today because I have been reflecting. Over the years, I have come to really love the Autumn (Fall) season, despite being born in summer. Its cosy and calming at times, however these months can bring on some anxiety again for me.

I think that we are all human and are affected by the changing seasons. I know that my bipolar goes in phases, but is largely controlled and stabilised by medicines. However, sometimes hormones can make me feel lower at times of the month or life events can make you feel a bit sadder than normal, and in some cases, provoke depression.

My anxiety arrives in the form of morning panic and I can find it harder to do certain tasks. However, I am lucky that I am not depressed currently but the anxious thoughts are getting worse again.

I will worry about being around crowds, travelling far or socialising en masse with people I havn’t seen for a while. I live within a community where we all gather together for religious festivals and it can be harder to do this when I am more anxious. I particularly find early mornings hard- and don’t want to leave the house before 10am usually!

Working from home is both a blessing as I can work my own hours but I go out less. I am really trying to work on going out more- even down the road, especially before it gets too cold and dark.

Despite the increase in anxiety in the past few days, I am feeling thankful. There are so many good things to look forward to. There are so many exciting projects I can be a part of. When one door closes, I know that another will open.

I am still writing my book, still running my blog and have some articles being published soon. I also do social media management. I hope that my career will continue to diversify and bring joy.  I also need stability and the life of a freelancer, though fulfilling at times, is never easy.

There is a lot to be grateful for- family and friends, my fiance and life- despite the fears, anxiety and catastrophising that I do at times and am trying to limit. Positive mindset is so important- I am working on it!

Autumn can make us feel sadder or more anxious, or cause other mental health symptoms.  However, like now, it can also feel comforting- as I write on my computer, sipping a cup of tea as the darkness is falling. (Is it too new age of me to use the word ‘hygge’)?

As the leaves begin to fall and the frosts come its so important we find our lights in the darkness.

How are you doing? Let me know below!

Love,

Eleanor

Mindfulness and Unplugging: Digital Detox

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(image: Gizmodo)

In my life, I have found that what is truly important is having time away from work, fears, worries, busy-ness in general and unplugging. If I am feeling overwhelmed or anxious or like things are too much, I take an hour or two in the week (and sometimes a day at weekends) to really, properly switch off.

I love social media and  I am always checking my email but sometimes its really good not to have to answer emails or mindlessly scroll through feeds. I love Instagram, but it is an excellent distraction from what I probably should be doing too!

Every Saturday in the Jewish world is Shabbat, the sabbath. I have a complete digital detox and find that I am a lot calmer and more present in the world. I go for walks and look at trees and flowers, without the distraction of my phone. I sleep without the radio (normally at night its on). I am not checking each notification, each app for something new.

I feel free for those 25 hours. I often curl up with a book, sleep and just relax. However, any longer and I really would miss the outside digital world- its a fine balance.

For me I want to be more mindful and appreciative and not live life constantly by social media. It is how I promote my work and stay in touch with people. I love that contact but I also like to unplug my mind and rest.

What about you?

Love,

Eleanor x