Shana Tova U’Metuka, a happy and sweet new Jewish year to everyone celebrating and marking Rosh Hashana this weekend. Rosh Hashana is an important Jewish festival where we gather with family and friends, pray at synagogue or home and reflect on our relationship with G-d and what we need to change in the coming year ahead. It’s also time to ask for things, to dream and to plan- oh and to eat honey cake or apple and honey for a sweet year too!
This year has had many blessings but also many difficult moments that I will reveal at the right time. So, I pray for a happy, healthy, sweet, prosperous, joyous New Year with all dreams manifesting if meant to be. I am grateful to still be running this blog after a decade and to be able to share my thoughts and emotions here. I am grateful for all my blessings- 2016 me who set up this blog would not quite have believed what happened in the past 10 years!
Thank you all for reading this blog and for supporting it. We are here to help people feel less alone, to promote recovery and healing and good treatment for all who live with mental illness or are in remission from episodes.
If you are struggling with your mental health this Rosh Hashana (or feeling at risk of harm)-to save your life, please reach out to mental health services or helplines like Samaritans (116 123)
Today’s blog is about a very special calming self care gift box – The Steady Box that was kindly sent to me by post to review from James Marchant at The Little Box of Mindfulness here in the UK.
I chose the Steady Box to review as someone who lives with an anxiety disorder at times and I wanted to see this self care box and how it can help calm anxiety by being mindful. The Steady Box is created for ‘people navigating anxiety, worry or emotionally overwhelming periods. A thoughtful gift designed to bring grounding, reassurance and gentle moments of calm.’. The Steady Box creates space for pause, presence and the feeling of being supported.
I opened the little black box and on the packaging it says ‘You are in someone’s mind this moment is yours‘. So already as you open it, you are feeling loved and welcomed. Each box also includes access to digital mindfulness practices, extending the feeling of care long after the gift is received. When you open the little box which is compact and fits through a letter box easily, you open to a winking face and a message- ‘You are not your thoughts, this moment is yours. Breathe. You’ve got this.‘ and some beautiful resources nestled within:
(image: The Little Box of Mindfulness)
A painted blue and cream handcrafted ceramic thumb stone (created by a local potter) to help with mindfulness and slow breathing when anxious. You hold it between your thumb and finger, focus mindfully on its texture and weight and then breathe slowly, returning to the present. The stone feels so calming and will make a lovely gift to a friend or loved one who needs to practise calming anxiety through mindfulness and breathing.
A Little Mindfulness box- a ‘Pause Pack’ containing items to help you ‘reconnect and reflect’, exploring at your own pace. These contain reflection cards with calming photos, affirmations about dealing with anxiety and lifes challenges( and finding strength and peace) and on the back, mindfulness prompts. They remind you to be in this moment, be still, breathe, name and ground yourself in the present;
There is also a leaflet teaching you how to ground yourself in the present (eg 5 things you can see, 4 things you can heal, 3 things you can hear) and a QR code for digital mindfulness resources that James has curated online.
Lastly, the box includes a Mindful Checklist card where you can tick off activities to help calm anxiety through mindfulness eg ‘I drank some water’, ‘I moved my body’, ‘I reminded myself I am safe’, I let go of one unhelpful thought’ , ‘I paused and noticed my breath.‘
(image: Little Box of Mindfulness)
This box retails at £15 and it makes the perfect letter box gift to send to a friend that needs to breathe, find a moment of peace to steady and ground themselves. I would recommend it as someone who lives with anxiety- I particularly liked the calming activity of slowing down and breathing with the thumbstone. As someone who has learnt a bit about how to practise mindfulness, I would say this box would be particularly useful at managing anxiety before it turns into a panic attack.
The Little Box of Mindfulness describes this as a’ refined letterbox gift for moments when words feel hard to find. A way to offer reassurance, presence and the quiet message that someone is thinking of them.‘. I would agree that it would make a lovely gift to send to reassure someone!
James Marchant, the founder and creator of the Little Box of Mindfulness, said to me, “I created these boxes with the simple hope of helping people feel remembered and supported during difficult moments, so it means a great deal to know the Steady Box resonated with you personally.” I truly love these products and the story behind them!
James created ‘The Little Box of Mindfulness’ due to his own battle with anxiety, stress and career burn out. He says, ” I’ve experienced anxiety in my own life and have seen first-hand how difficult moments can affect both individuals and families.The Little Box Of Mindfulness was created from a simple belief: when someone is struggling, small acts of kindness can make a real difference.Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say or how to help. My hope is that these letterbox gifts make it a little easier to reach out and remind someone they’re not alone.”
James’ story is so inspiring and I truly love these gift boxes and the concept. As well as the Steady Box there are two other boxes in the mindfulness range. They also sell beautiful self care mental health gift sets for thinking of you, bereavement, stress and burn out which are lovely and contain different treats. You can see all the mental health gift sets here: https://littleboxofmindfulness.co.uk/collections/mental-health-gift
Thank you James for gifting me this wonderful box to review!
(Image: Little Box of Mindfulness)
This article is a sponsored and gifted review. All thoughts on the product are my genuine review.
Every year, the incredible charity Christmas For CAMHS brightens up the lives of children and teens on NHS CAMHS mental health wards. These are for children who are too ill with their mental health (often distressed and traumatised) to be at home with their families, friends and loved ones. In 2004, when I was just 16 and going through a bipolar episode, at Christmas, I was in a mental health ward away from home (I am Jewish and don’t celebrate Christmas religiously but there is something about being given a gift, a card, activities when you are far from home that warms the soul). I know how scary it can be to live in hospital with other ill children and teenagers. So, I absolutely love the work of this important charity.
Christmas For CAMHS was founded by Dr Ro Bevan. While working as a doctor on a children’s ward in 2015, she saw first hand that, during the festive season, hospitals supporting children with physical illnesses were showered with huge amounts of gifts, festive treats and celebrations – as they should be! They even had enough to cover ward birthdays the following year! The following year she was working on a child and adolescent mental health ward. She was shocked by the contrast. So she posted about the inequality on Facebook – “We had no presents donated. Our patients had one present each using money scrimped and saved from the NHS budget.” Her plea went unexpectedly viral, inspiring an intrepid bunch of volunteers to come together with her to create our charity Christmas For CAMHS. We had to make sure that no child or young person on a UK mental health ward was ever forgotten at Christmas again.
Since then the charity has gone from strength to strength, providing some essential Christmas hope for almost 9875 children and young people. Last year, in 2024, the charity sent over 1100 individual gifts (with an additional fidget toy too) to these children and young people – that’s gifts to every young person in every CAMHS unit in the UK!
They also sent 52 special additional gifts for young people on the ward particularly in need, such as those with no parental support and young people in foster care – this included items such as oodies, comic books and specialist art equipment. But that wasn’t everything! As well as individual gifts and goodies, they sent wellbeing advent calendars, festive decorations and activity kits – great for distracting and boredom-busting – paper chains, homemade cards and ward gifts such as jigsaws, art kits, books and board games. Festive season in a box!
(Image: Christmas for CAMHS)
The charity say, ‘It’s never really about the gift itself. For these young people struggling with conditions such as anorexia, psychosis, bipolar disorder and depression, it’s about a glimmer of hope — the knowledge that someone out there cares for them, is thinking of them, and wants them to feel less alone at a very hard time of year to be poorly in hospital. This is why what we do is so important. These fragments of hope and glimmers of joy can, and do, change the course of lives.’
A recipient of the charity’s kindness who was in hospital years before, told them the following and reached out to the charity.
She said: “I was in a CAMHS inpatient unit over the Christmas period when I was 17. While friends were studying for A Levels and passing their driving tests, I was really struggling to keep myself safe and needed to focus on basics like brushing my teeth and eating regularly. Staying in an inpatient unit is a really tough experience for anyone, but Christmas is particularly hard when the pressure to be with family and enjoy the festive period is much higher.”
I wasn’t safe enough to go home overnight yet, so woke up in hospital on Christmas Day. I remember feeling really low that morning, but the unit had received a care package filled with presents which were given to all of us who were there over the Christmas period. I don’t remember what l picked out, or what the other presents were, but I remember feeling like the universe wasn’t such a bad place after all.”
It felt really special that even when I couldn’t care for myself, there were people who did care for me.I hold that memory close to this day and I’m so grateful to Christmas For CAMHS for helping me through a really difficult time.”
I can relate to this person, I was lucky enough that in 2004, we did receive a small gift and I did get some cards from people in hospital with me (I was struggling with bipolar and psychosis at this time but I still remember that lovely feeling of being thought about by the ward staff).
(image: Christmas For CAMHS)
Christmas For CAMHS is a charity extremely close to my heart. This year, they hope to reach their 10,000th child this Christmas. Times are really tough for charities and they need your help to be Father Christmas and his Elves in all of the CAMHS wards in the UK again this year. You can support Christmas for CAMHS by donating online or choosing a gift from their wish list:
Autumn (or if you’re in the USA, Fall) is one of my favourite seasons. Beautiful autumn leaves, the weather getting gently cooler, cosy hot chocolates and pumpkin spice, the autumn harvest of pumpkins, snuggling in blankets with a good book or TV show and for some- walks in nature with the orange and yellow trees and landscapes. However, did you know that the clocks going back and the change in light and dark, with nights drawing in, can affect your mental health? Studies have shown that when its darker, people are more prone to depression and anxiety and some (like myself at times) struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder.
There are many ways to take care of yourself if you feel your mood dipping or you are becoming more anxious. If you feel it is affecting your daily functioning, please reach out for support from your doctor (and if you have one, a therapist or psychologist). Here I talk about a few tips to help support your mental health this Autumn.
Make sure you rest as well as play and work
Work can become all consuming, but if you prioritise rest this season too, your body will thank you. Autumn is all about slowing down, recovering, resting (and for animals (and some humans) hibernating). Yes you can work and play hard if you prefer, but make sure you find that balance to support your wellbeing. In our busy lives and for those who are parents or just struggling with their mental health, self care can slip. Practising good self care- eating well, resting, gentle exercise, can really help our minds.
2. Release Control- Give Stress Over
Gabby Bernstein, my favourite spiritual teacher, often says ‘Release control to find peace, surrender it to the Universe’. Surrendering means not obsessing about what we can’t control, but giving it over to a higher power or the universe. This can really help when we feel overwhelmed and stressed, to pray and meditate or simply write down how you are feeling and then ask the universe to take it from you. Journalling thoughts and feelings can help too.
3. Nature walks
Despite the cold, this Autumn, walking in nature can help get the blood pumping and our minds to reset. Sometimes going with a friend, spouse or family member can cheer you up- there is something about the colours of nature, the soft greens that is truly calming.
(image: Erika Mendes, Unsplash)
4. Make your home cosy
Whether its getting some new cushions or blankets, fairy lights or lamps, investing in cosy and light interiors for the darker seasons is a must! I like to use lamps when the nights draw in.
5. Get enough sleep (but not too much!)
During the Autumn/ Winter period, most of us naturally want to hibernate in the evenings. Sometimes this period can make depression and anxiety worse. I know with my bipolar that sometimes I feel lower or more anxious. Getting enough daylight and if you struggle with seasonal affective disorder, use an SAD lamp, which can help you to wake up gently in the mornings. Similarly, make sure you get enough sleep for you to keep your mental and physical health at its best. Depression can cause us to sleep longer hours and hide away- I find daytime distractions can help me not to sleep too much.
6. Take your medication as prescribed
If you struggle with mental health in winter and are prescribed antidepressants or other meds, do not suddenly stop them as this can cause a relapse in your mental health. Make sure you speak to your doctor first!
7. Treat yourself
Treat yourself to a hot chocolate (or pumpkin space drink) and a good book or TV show, wrapped in a cosy hoodie or blanket. You deserve it!
Wishing you all a wonderful and well Autumn/Fall season.
With everything going on in the world today, some stories can get missed in the flurry of competing news. However, when I saw a post by the Oli Leigh Trust, a charity in my community dedicated to suicide prevention, that suicide prevention lessons are going to be made compulsory in secondary schools, I was so happy. Department for Education (DfE) announced on Tuesday that lessons discussing suicide prevention would be compulsory in secondary schools from September 2026.
Growing up, when I had my own issues with depression and suicidal ideation as part of my bipolar disorder, mental health was not spoken about openly in schools. We know that sadly, the suicide rate in the UK and worldwide has been rising. A group of Dads, Andy Airey, Mike Palmer and Tim Owen, 3 Dads Walking, who lost their daughters Sophie, Beth and Emily to suicide came together to campaign to Sir Keir Starmer and the UK government. Heres what they told the BBC,
‘Lives will be saved. Our Voices have finally been heard. ‘ He said the trio began campaigning shortly after their first walk to raise awareness in 2021 and admitted it had at times felt “like we were swimming through treacle uphill”, but now their “voices have been heard”.
“We have covered a lot of ground, literally and figuratively, over the last few years, but to come to a point where a significant change is going to happen still feels quite unreal. I’m stunned.”
“We are really proud of what we have achieved.”
Suicide is the biggest killer of under 35’s in the UK. In their first walk, they raised nearly 1 million pounds for Papyrus charity. In their second, they walked to all 4 UK parliaments to ensure every child was taught the skills to cope with suicidal thoughts. They then met with MPs to discuss how suicide prevention could be embedded in the curriculum.
“If this is the biggest killer of our young people, why aren’t we talking about it?”
So today I say thank you and congratulations to Andy Airey, Mike Palmer and Tim Owen- three courageous men spreading light and goodness in memory of their beloved daughters. Suicide prevention is so sadly needed.
In a world of continuous alerts, daily stresses, and the need to be effective, inner peace can be a distant, even impossible idea, but there are still moments- tiny, little corners that speak of peace. The difficulty is to get back to that silence when life is noisy.
These are five easy and considerate steps that can be used to guide the path towards inner peace. All of them need perfection, but most importantly, they need willingness.
1. Make Room to Pause
The sound of daily life usually overshadows what is important. It does not mean that one has to retreat or change drastically to slow down. Other times, it is just a choice of sitting down and taking a few minutes before rushing out the door or taking a walk without music or any other distractions.
Space is the process of letting the mind breathe. It is in silence that thoughts can settle. The ever-rotating motion starts to decelerate. This is where the foundation of peace is made by creating space in your busy lives.
2. Listen to the Body
In many cases, the body narrates before the mind can comprehend. The tight shoulders, shallow breathing, and clenched jaws are indications that something is wrong inside. Peace is not only about having the right thoughts, but it is also about feeling safe and being in the body.
That is why physical awareness is important. Observing posture, breath, or tension may be a way to come back to the present. In case you live in the region/USA, somatic healing Orange County specialists can lead this type of body-based consciousness in a more comprehensive, supported manner. They are concerned with making people realise that emotions and experiences are stored in the body, and this can be the gateway to healing and permanent peace.
3. Make Things as Simple as Possible
It is not possible to have peace in a filthy environment. Whether it is a cluttered room or a cluttered calendar, what fills your space and what fills your time is what defines your feelings on the inside. Simple does not imply giving up everything.
It is a matter of making decisions that can really promote well-being. It can be as easy as removing two or three items that you do not need, like saying no without feeling guilty, or emptying the small drawer that has been cluttered up long ago.
All small streamlining gestures say something that life does not need to be hectic, and in most cases, there is peace beyond the clutter.
Each small act of streamlining says something: Life does not need to be busy, and in many cases, there is peace on the other side of the clutter.
4. Gentle Self-Honesty
Peace does not imply evading harsh realities. Actually, one of the most obvious ways to become whole is honesty, which is said in a kind way to oneself. This type of honesty is not judgmental. It is about the soft question of what you really need, or if this is how you want to live.
Truthful contemplation can raise painful feelings. It also brings clarity. And in that clarity, peace may start to grow.
5. Find Time for Others
Life has its moments of greater meaning, the sunrise, laughing with a loved one, or doing something nice to a stranger without any reward. These are the times that make you remember that you are more than the to-do list.
Inner peace can be found by looking at meaningful moments, not urgent moments. It is the act of paying attention to what is joyful, awing, or connecting. These experiences satisfy something within that nothing in terms of productivity or distraction ever can.
The more meaningful moments are embraced, the more they increase, and in them, there comes a feeling of peace that does not rise and fall with the day.
Conclusion
Inner peace is not a place to visit. It is a soft manner of getting around in the world, of being with yourself in a kind and openhearted way.
The small moments are the beginning of peace. It is fed by being there, fed by telling the truth, and cultivated by being in touch with the body, with others, and with what is most important.
A survey conducted by Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors of over 1,468 respondents highlights a clear gender gap in body image satisfaction. Men are more than four times as likely to report being very satisfied with their body image (16%) compared to women (4%).
Body Image Satisfaction
Men: 16.37% very satisfied, 32.46% somewhat satisfied, 28.65% neutral, 16.67% unsatisfied, 5.85% very unsatisfied.
Women: 3.87% very satisfied, 26.45% somewhat satisfied, 23.60% neutral, 33.67% unsatisfied, 12.41% very unsatisfied.
Men were also more likely to feel their body image had remained the same or improved over time, while women were more likely to report a decline in satisfaction.
Impact of Social Media and AI
Nearly half of all respondents (49.89%) cited social media as a key influence on body image, with Instagram (62.42%) being the most frequently mentioned platform. AI technology, including filters and editing apps, was noted by 31.23% of respondents as a factor shaping body image perceptions.
Men were less affected by social media’s impact on body image (9.36% strongly agreed) compared to women (21.16%). AI technology also had a greater effect on women’s self-perception, with 22.18% agreeing that it made them more critical of their appearance, compared to 11.99% of men.
Cosmetic Procedures and Future Trends
While 15.36% of women reported undergoing cosmetic procedures, only 4.68% of men said the same. Among those who had undergone procedures, the majority expressed a positive impact on their body image.
Despite the influence of social media and AI, only 19.88% of respondents felt these technologies made them more likely to consider cosmetic surgery.
“The findings demonstrate a clear disparity in body image satisfaction between men and women, influenced by social media and AI,” said Michael Saul, Partner at Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors. “Understanding these trends helps to address unrealistic beauty standards and promote a healthier self-image.”
The data underscores the gender differences in body image perception and the influence of digital media. These insights may inform discussions on promoting healthier self-perceptions and mitigating unrealistic beauty standards.
About Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors
Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors is the UK’s leading law firm specialising in cosmetic surgery negligence claims.
Skin care is more than just a simple product in 2025., it’s become a non-negotiable for those hoping to achieve youthful, blemish free skin that looks plump and clear at all times. The makeup gurus have come clean. The key to great looking makeup is great skin. Not only that, chemical free, ‘kind’ skin care is the key to great skin. This level of untoxic, less processed and natural skin care can be best found through the means of herbal skin care.
This type of skin care is great for general self-care and improving wellness in body and mind. If you understand the benefits of herbal teas for your gut health and overall bodily functions, just consider how great herbal skin care might be for your face?
Let’s get into the ins and outs of what herbal skin care is, and how it’s been the answer to clear skin for perhaps the last few centuries, yet we’ve been marketed to think otherwise!
Is Herbal Skincare Considered ‘New’?
Not at all. In fact, herbal skincare is one of the oldest beauty secrets in existence. Ancient civilisations, from Egyptian royalty to Chinese dynasties, relied on herbs, flowers, and plant oils to maintain their youthful glow. Cleopatra was known for her rose and honey-infused skincare rituals, while Ayurvedic practices have long used turmeric and neem to treat skin concerns.
The real question is why did we ever stop? The rise of mass-produced, synthetic skincare created a shift away from traditional herbal remedies, replacing them with chemicals and preservatives that promised instant results. But fast-forward to today, and we’re circling back. People are finally recognising that natural, plant-based skincare is not just effective but also safer for both our skin and the environment.
How Does Herbal Skincare Differ from Conventional?
The difference is simple: herbal skin care relies on nature, while conventional skin care relies on labs.
Conventional skincare products often contain synthetic ingredients, parabens, sulfates, and artificial fragrances, many of which can be harsh, irritating, or even harmful to long-term skin health. Herbal skincare, on the other hand, harnesses the power of botanical extracts, essential oils, and natural minerals to nourish and heal the skin from within.
It’s not just about what’s in the product but also about what’s not in it. Herbal skincare skips the fillers and preservatives, focusing instead on nutrient-rich ingredients that your skin can actually recognise and absorb. The result? A healthier, more balanced complexion without the risk of toxins.
The Most Common Herbal Ingredients & What They Do
Nature has given us an abundance of skin-loving ingredients. Here are some of the best herbal powerhouses and what they bring to your skincare routine:
Aloe Vera – Deeply hydrates, soothes irritation, and speeds up skin healing.
Chamomile – Calms redness and inflammation, perfect for sensitive skin.
Rosehip Oil – Packed with vitamins A and C, promoting collagen production and skin renewal.
Green Tea – A powerful antioxidant that protects against environmental damage and premature aging.
Calendula – Known for its antibacterial properties, great for acne-prone and sensitive skin.
Turmeric – Brightens skin tone and fights breakouts with its natural anti-inflammatory properties.
These ingredients have been used for centuries, proving that skincare straight from the earth is more than just a trend—it’s a lifestyle. It’s also brilliant if you want to care for yourself and your skin.
The Sustainable Benefits of Herbal Skincare
Beyond its skin-enhancing benefits, herbal skincare is a game-changer for sustainability. Unlike mass-produced products that contribute to pollution and waste, farm-to-face skincare focuses on ethical sourcing, eco-friendly packaging, and minimal processing.
Biodegradable ingredients – No microplastics or synthetic chemicals washing into the ocean.
Support for small farmers – Many herbal skincare brands work directly with local growers, ensuring fair wages and ethical harvesting practices.
Reduced carbon footprint – No heavy industrial processing means fewer emissions and a cleaner planet.
Choosing herbal skincare isn’t just about looking good—it’s about doing good, too.
How to Add Herbal Skincare into Your Routine
Switching to herbal skincare doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s how to make the transition effortless:
Start with a gentle cleanser – Try a honey-based or aloe-infused cleanser for a refreshing, non-stripping cleanse.
Use herbal toners – Rose water or witch hazel can balance your skin’s pH and tighten pores naturally.
Hydrate with botanical oils – Jojoba, rosehip, and argan oil deeply nourish without clogging pores.
Incorporate herbal masks – Try DIY masks with turmeric, yogurt, and honey for an all-natural glow.
Check your labels – If a product claims to be “natural,” make sure it actually contains plant-based ingredients (and not just clever marketing).
Bottom Line
Herbal skincare isn’t a fad, it’s a return to what our skin was always meant to thrive on. Boost your self care and mental health today with wonderful, natural ingredients. With cleaner, safer ingredients, sustainability benefits, and centuries of proof behind it, farm-to-face beauty is here to stay, and we’re excited to embrace it!
Struggling with perfectionism? Learn how CBT for perfectionism helps challenge self-criticism, set realistic goals, and break free from the pressure to be perfect.
If you ever feel paralyzed by the thought of making mistakes or constantly push yourself to impossible standards, you might benefit from CBT for Perfectionism. At NOSA CBT, we understand how perfectionism can lead to burnout, procrastination, and nonstop anxiety. In this blog, we will explore what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) provides practical ways to break out of the perfectionist trap.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is not just about wanting to do things well. It usually means aiming for flawless results and feeling that anything less than perfection is a failure. Many perfectionists believe their worth depends on never making mistakes. This can cause chronic stress and harsh self-criticism whenever the outcome is not 100 percent perfect.
Sometimes, perfectionistic habits come from fear of judgment or failure in front of others. This fear creates a cycle: always striving, never satisfied, and relying on achievement for self-esteem. Ironically, trying to be flawless can keep you from getting started on projects, since the fear of messing up becomes more overwhelming than the desire to make progress.
How Perfectionism Develops
Perfectionism can grow from many sources: family expectations, social pressures, or ways of coping you learned over time. You might have grown up in a home where you were praised only when you excelled, making you feel like mistakes were unacceptable. Or maybe you live in a culture where success is linked to being the best, reinforcing the idea that any slip-up equals total failure.
Often, perfectionists tie their self-worth directly to their accomplishments. Rather than seeing an outcome as separate from who they are, they treat any disappointment as a personal shortcoming. Once these ideas take hold, they shape your approach to work, relationships, and even leisure activities. Recognizing why perfectionism developed does not mean it vanishes overnight, but it can help you spot triggers that feed that anxiety about not being “good enough.”
(image: Brett Jordan: Unsplash)
How CBT for Perfectionism Works
CBT for Perfectionism focuses on finding and challenging the thoughts and beliefs that drive unhealthy perfectionism. Instead of telling you how to get perfect results, CBT helps you understand why imperfection feels so scary in the first place. Then, you can test whether those fears are truly accurate and replace them with more realistic, kinder ways of thinking.
Mapping Unhelpful Thoughts Early on, you might keep track of moments when you feel overwhelmed or anxious about not doing something “well enough.” This reveals the core thoughts fueling your stress, such as “If I don’t get every detail right, I’m a failure.”
Challenging Distorted Beliefs Next, CBT teaches you to question these beliefs. Is it realistic to think one mistake ruins everything? Are you really worthless if you miss a tiny detail? Finding evidence that contradicts these absolutes can weaken their hold.
Encouraging Realistic Standards CBT does not say you have to lower your standards across the board. Instead, it prompts you to set challenging but achievable goals. This shift allows you to celebrate progress rather than obsessing over small flaws.
Self-Compassion One of the most important parts of CBT is learning to be gentle with yourself when things do not go perfectly. Instead of harsh self-criticism, you practice talking to yourself in a supportive, encouraging way. This approach boosts resilience and motivation, even when you stumble.
By repeating these steps and noticing changes in your thoughts and behaviors, you can develop a healthier mindset that balances striving for excellence with recognizing that mistakes are a normal part of growth.
Key CBT Techniques for Perfectionism
Several CBT techniques help reduce the pressure to be perfect:
Thought Records
Write down situations that trigger perfectionistic stress, along with the thoughts and emotions they spark. Then, look for evidence that challenges these extreme conclusions. Over time, seeing flaws in your perfectionistic thinking can loosen its grip.
Behavioural Experiments
Sometimes, you might intentionally aim for “good enough” rather than perfect results. Whether it’s a work project or a household task, see how it feels to let go of total precision. Often, you’ll realize minor imperfections rarely lead to disaster.
Graded Exposure
Gradually face your fear of imperfection. For example, leave a small mistake in a draft and show it to a friend or colleague, just to prove to yourself that a minor error doesn’t lead to rejection or failure.
Self-Compassion Exercises
Through affirmations or mindfulness, you learn to accept that everyone slips up sometimes. Treat mistakes as opportunities to learn, not signs of personal failure.
When practiced consistently, these strategies help you maintain high standards without feeling constantly overwhelmed by the need to be flawless.
Dealing with Setbacks and Ongoing Habits
Real change rarely happens in a straight line, especially if you’ve spent years developing perfectionistic habits. It’s normal to have setbacks when deadlines loom or when life throws unexpected challenges your way. If you catch yourself slipping back into rigid thinking, it doesn’t mean CBT “failed.” It just means it’s time to revisit the strategies and tools that helped you before.
Setbacks can even be helpful. Each time perfectionistic thoughts resurface, you have another opportunity to apply the CBT methods you’ve learned. Over time, these relapses often become less intense and less frequent because you have a more flexible framework for coping.
Who Can Benefit from this Therapy?
Anyone who struggles with all-or-nothing thinking can find CBT useful. High achievers sometimes get stuck in endless cycles of tweaking or revising because they feel nothing is ever “perfect.” Students may push themselves to the limit, convinced that a single slip in grades defines their future. Even in personal settings, the need to appear flawless can drain your energy and enjoyment of everyday life.
It’s also important to remember perfectionism isn’t limited to a certain personality type. You might feel confident in some areas yet be extremely hard on yourself in others. CBT meets you where you are. It offers practical tools for tackling unhelpful beliefs and separating your self-worth from your achievements.
Rounding Up
Ultimately, CBT for Perfectionismaims to loosen the grip of harsh self-standards and critical inner voices that overshadow day-to-day satisfaction. Striving for excellence can be motivating, but perfectionism can turn into a never-ending burden that undermines your confidence and well-being.
By challenging black-and-white thinking, trying out more balanced behaviours, and learning self-compassion, you can find a healthier mindset that values progress over flawlessness. If you’ve noticed perfectionistic habits affecting your life, consider exploring CBT techniques or reaching out for professional support to build a more flexible and resilient approach to reaching your goals.
The National Confidential Inquiry into Suicide and Safety in Mental Health (NCISH) released its Annual Report for 2025 last week, revealing that over the past decade, nearly 20% more individuals with bipolar disorder are dying by suicide due to shortcomings in the UK’s mental health system.
According to national charity Bipolar UK, the report provides stark evidence that specialist care is lacking, Lithium (an important mood stabiliser medication) is under-prescribed and suicide prevention measures are falling short.
The report highlights that from 2012 to 2022, there were 1,491 suicides by patients with bipolar, with an alarming 19% increase from 2019 to 2022. Despite Lithium being a clinically proven suicide prevention treatment for people with bipolar, only 39% of those who died were prescribed it and just 12% were receiving psychological therapy.
This data echoes the findings and lived experience of Professor Tania Gergel, Head of Research at Bipolar UK, in her recent article in The Lancet Psychiatry where she said: “Globally, 15-20% of people with bipolar disorder die by suicide, with 30-60% making at least one attempt. These rates are not decreasing despite an overall decline in global suicide rates.”
According to the Nuffield Trust, there is set to be a £4.8 billion unfunded shortfall in the NHS England revenue budget for 2024/25, raising the prospect that without further funding, service cuts may be inevitable.
With bipolar increasing an individual’s risk of suicide by 20 times that of the general population, Bipolar UK is urging the government to commit to addressing health waiting lists and to invest money in creating a dedicated care pathway for bipolar to reduce suicide rates.
Simon Kitchen, CEO of Bipolar UK, said: “This report is devastating but not surprising. We’ve been shouting from the rooftops that people with bipolar aren’t getting the care they need and now the data lays it bare.
“Bipolar carries one of the highest suicide risks of any mental illness, yet specialist services are practically non-existent, and Lithium – the gold-standard treatment for suicide prevention – is underused. The time for excuses is over. We need real action, and we need it now.”
The charity has heard from its community of people living with the condition, who are concerned that they are unable to access psychiatrists, have little to no continuity of care and are not being monitored adequately when at high risk. There is also a lack of bipolar specialists in the UK, leading to people not receiving a correct diagnosis or waiting too long to receive one – all of which add to the risk of suicide.
Professor Gergel said: “Neither bipolar disorder nor suicide in people with bipolar disorder are research priorities, resulting in major knowledge gaps in both. This can and must change. The shocking statistics might well underestimate the prevalence of suicide in people with bipolar disorder, given the probability of death by suicide before treatment or accurate diagnosis.”
Adding to that, Simon Kitchen said: “Suicide prevention in bipolar requires a shift in both research priorities and clinical practice. We know lithium saves lives, but it is still under-prescribed. We know specialist care works, but most services are generic and fail to meet the specific needs of people with bipolar. Bipolar suicide is not inevitable, but without urgent action, people will continue to die.”
(image of Prof Gergel, Bipolar UK)
The NCISH report also revealed broader systemic failures contributing to preventable deaths. Alarmingly, patients with bipolar were more likely to:
Die within three months of being discharged from inpatient care, highlighting dangerous gaps in post-discharge support.
Miss vital clinical appointments, often due to social isolation or side effects from medication, with 15% identified as non-adherent before their deaths.
Experience extreme distress without access to psychological therapies, with only 12% receiving talking therapies.
With more than a million people living with bipolar in the UK, the figures from this latest inquiry represent lives lost and has led Bipolar UK to call for urgent action, including implementing:
Specialist bipolar services in every NHS region to ensure timely diagnosis, access to evidence-based treatments and care tailored to the complexities of the condition.
Increased lithium prescribing, in line with NICE guidelines, ensuring every person with bipolar who could benefit from it is given the opportunity.
Enhanced suicide prevention measures, including better follow-up after hospital discharge and targeted support for those who miss appointments or struggle with medication adherence.
Simon Kitchen concluded: “We need all UK health authorities and departments of health across the nation to act now because lives depend on it. The evidence is undeniable, the solutions are clear, and the cost of inaction is catastrophic. Specialist care, Lithium, and targeted suicide prevention measures can and will save lives.
“Bipolar suicide is a national emergency, and the upcoming 10-Year Plan is the critical opportunity to turn the tide. Bipolar-specific services are not optional; they are a lifeline.
“The government and NHS must act now, before more lives are lost to preventable tragedy. It is time to get it right.”
Bipolar UK is the only national charity dedicated to supporting people affected by bipolar. Bipolar UK provides a range of services, including information and advice, a network of support groups, an eCommunity, workplace training and telephone and email peer support. Bipolar UK also works in partnership with research organisations and campaigns for change to tackle critical issues. For more information, visit www.bipolaruk.org
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