Tag: alive

Social Anxiety: Find What Makes You Feel Alive. by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

(image: yourhappyplaceblog)

For those of you who have read my blogs or book, you will know that I have lived with mental health issues since I was young (diagnosed with bipolar at 16, depression and anxiety at 15 and lots of anxiety as a younger child).

My bipolar is medicated so that my brain functions fairly ‘typically’ ie i don’t get mania or severe depression, but I do get bad anxiety and milder depression.

What started as a teen to protect me from harm, became a full fledged panic disorder and social anxiety. Hiding away became my way to protect myself from the world, from people’s negative judgements, from life.

Even now at 36, I navigate a lot of the same anxious thoughts, behaviours and feelings. I don’t often share this part of my life anymore but I feel it is essential.

Yesterday, after having a particularly bad patch with anxiety where I cancelled many arrangements, stayed inside a lot etc, I spoke to my wonderful therapist because I needed to unpack what was going on for me.

In the course of the discussion about the different issues going on for me that could be causing the social anxiety/agoraphobia element I realised this key truth.

I have built metaphorical walls around myself in many parts of my life (my body, my friendships, my relationships in general), to keep myself safe from trauma I have faced. Part of that comes out as social anxiety as a protection mechanism and there’s time when that worsens. And times when its better.

But what I did realise is this.

I would like to feel properly alive and start taking down some of the walls, so I can live. Sometimes, the walls keep me safe and cosy. Sometimes they are not serving me anymore. I also want to boost my self esteem so that I stop retreating and hiding, or if it happens as it will, to find a way to work with it. I have had EMDR before so it may be returning to that for a while to unpick the knots!

I am very much a work in progress and so, I know I will always live with some level of anxiety. It is about how I learn to live well despite life’s challenges.

Do you find you put up walls or have social anxiety too?

I am sharing because it is therapeutic but I was even anxious sharing this as its so personal.

Love,

Eleanor x

Expressing Social Anxiety through Songwriting: Alive: Guest blog by Rachel Leycroft

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

rachelley1

(image: Rachel Leycroft)

Rachel experienced severe social anxiety in many forms for the majority of her life. Like many others, she felt it was crucial to hide this at all costs, despite the paralysing pain it often caused. Her therapeutic form of expression was always through songwriting, & she wrote “Alive” at 19-years-old while in college.

It was a time when she went to extremes to uphold an image of fearless confidence, regardless of the toll it took on her well-being. Rachel didn’t realize how many others suffered from similar experiences until a number of years later. With this realisation, she started a project called #lovethroughlyrics where she shares her songs in hopes of reminding others that they are not alone in their struggles.

“Alive” is a metaphorical view of the wish to escape social anxiety. In the song, Rachel relates social anxiety to the feeling of being weighted down and asks to give up aspects of herself that are not being represented with authenticity. Ultimately, she asks to give enough away to free herself & escape the burdensome fear of others’ judgments. “Falling into the horizon” represents the weights of our insecurities being lifted; it’s a moment that lights our souls alive, reminding us that our authentic selves are timeless. They have always been within us, but are often masked by our fears and our desire to be accepted.

Rachel hopes to encourage others to reconnect with their true selves again, no matter how many years they have been hidden. Her greatest wish is to evoke compassion toward ourselves & one another by giving mental health a voice through music.

You can read the lyrics to “Alive” below & listen to the song (original & acoustic) on any music platform by going here: https://fanlink.to/rachelleycroft_alive-acoustic 

Rachel would be happy to connect with you via Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/rachelleycroft/