For those of you who have read my blogs or book, you will know that I have lived with mental health issues since I was young (diagnosed with bipolar at 16, depression and anxiety at 15 and lots of anxiety as a younger child).
My bipolar is medicated so that my brain functions fairly ‘typically’ ie i don’t get mania or severe depression, but I do get bad anxiety and milder depression.
What started as a teen to protect me from harm, became a full fledged panic disorder and social anxiety. Hiding away became my way to protect myself from the world, from people’s negative judgements, from life.
Even now at 36, I navigate a lot of the same anxious thoughts, behaviours and feelings. I don’t often share this part of my life anymore but I feel it is essential.
Yesterday, after having a particularly bad patch with anxiety where I cancelled many arrangements, stayed inside a lot etc, I spoke to my wonderful therapist because I needed to unpack what was going on for me.
In the course of the discussion about the different issues going on for me that could be causing the social anxiety/agoraphobia element I realised this key truth.
I have built metaphorical walls around myself in many parts of my life (my body, my friendships, my relationships in general), to keep myself safe from trauma I have faced. Part of that comes out as social anxiety as a protection mechanism and there’s time when that worsens. And times when its better.
But what I did realise is this.
I would like to feel properly alive and start taking down some of the walls, so I can live. Sometimes, the walls keep me safe and cosy. Sometimes they are not serving me anymore. I also want to boost my self esteem so that I stop retreating and hiding, or if it happens as it will, to find a way to work with it. I have had EMDR before so it may be returning to that for a while to unpick the knots!
I am very much a work in progress and so, I know I will always live with some level of anxiety. It is about how I learn to live well despite life’s challenges.
Do you find you put up walls or have social anxiety too?
I am sharing because it is therapeutic but I was even anxious sharing this as its so personal.
In 2024, there is a growing awareness of the effects associated with constantly consuming negative news, a behaviour commonly known as “doomscrolling.” Media and constant news updates often fuel this habit of seeking out distressing information. Sadly, this can have serious implications for both physical and mental health.
Recent conversations among health experts have shed light on the link between doomscrolling and the increase in Substance-Induced Anxiety Disorder (SIAD) as well as panic attacks. As someone who writes on mental health, I wanted to delve into this correlation, providing insights and practical tips to protect your health in a world that appears to be in a perpetual state of crisis.
What is the Meaning of Doomscrolling?
Doomscrolling involves the consumption of news. Consumers caught up in this cycle feel compelled always to follow disasters, political unrest, environmental crises, and other distressing events, resulting in prolonged exposure to negative media. Additionally, some may even engage in extended sessions of watching vertical, short-form videos without awareness of the passage of time.
We can admit staying informed is important. However, constant focus on distressing media can affect one’s well-being.
Psychological Effects of Doomscrolling
The brain is naturally inclined to react to threats with a fight-or-flight response—a survival instinct ingrained in our biology throughout history.
However, when the mind is activated by immediate non-physical threats, like distressing news, it can result in prolonged stress. This prolonged state of vigilance can heighten anxiety levels over time potentially leading to anxiety disorders and panic episodes.
However, why is it so addictive to watch distressing news? Well, engaging in doomscrolling triggers the activation of dopamine receptors, which provides short relief from anxiety, despite the eventual worsening of mood.
What is more concerning is individuals often revert to doomscrolling in an attempt to alleviate their distress, perpetuating the cycle of negative emotions.
Link to Substance-Induced Anxiety Disorder
Substance-induced Anxiety Disorder (SIAD) begins to show its ugly face when symptoms of anxiety or panic stem directly from substance consumption, withdrawal, or exposure to substances. Common culprits include caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and certain prescription drugs.
People who engage in doomscrolling may resort to substances like alcohol or prescription drugs as a coping mechanism for the anxiety and stress triggered by the news they consume. This could establish a cycle where substance use provides relief from anxiety symptoms but later worsens them, possibly resulting in SIAD.
Real World Implications – Panic Attacks
Panic attacks are episodes of fear that may manifest as heart palpitations, sweating, trembling, etc. Sometimes there is even an overwhelming sense of dread and fear of losing control.
For those who are exposed to negative news, unfortunately their threshold for panic attacks may be lower. Substances used to manage this stress can further decrease this threshold, making panic attacks more frequent and intense.
(image: Mark Adriane, Unsplash)
Tips for Breaking This Habit
Breaking free from the cycle of doomscrolling requires effort and specific strategies. Here are some “practical?” steps you can follow;
1. Establish Strict Time Boundaries
Hold yourself to designated times during the day for checking the news and make a commitment to stick to these schedules. Utilizing apps restricting your access to websites or social media platforms can help you maintain this routine.
2. Customise Your Social Media Content
Take a role in curating your social media feeds by including uplifting content. Follow accounts that share stories or even your city media feeds to create a balanced experience alongside the inevitable negative news we all have to see.
3. Try Healthy Coping Mechanisms
It may be time to hit the gym. Or engage in activities such as yoga or jogging. Better yet, incorporate mindfulness techniques like meditation or diaphragmatic breathing. Finally, find a way to express yourself through creative endeavors like writing or painting.
4. Consider Professional Support
If needed, and if feelings of anxiety or panic become overwhelming, seek assistance. A health professional can always be beneficial. Therapists can offer personalized coping strategies tailored to meet your needs, as we are all different in what triggers our anxiety.
5. The Inevitable – Keeping in Touch
Even as a mental health writer, I can be better at this one. Having ties with friends and family can ease stress and worry. Interacting regularly can shift our focus away from the constant stream of negative news.
In the end, while staying informed is important, it’s also vital to strike a balance in how we consume news. Recognizing the signs of scrolling through distressing content and taking proactive measures to lessen its impact can help prevent the development of more severe anxiety issues and panic attacks. The world has changed, and mental health is important, so by being mindful and adopting coping strategies, we can safeguard our well-being during these challenging times (no matter where we are located.)
By being aware of how our media intake affects our health, we can navigate the age without falling prey to its negative aspects. Remember, it’s completely fine to unplug for the sake of your well-being.
I have spent a number of months avoiding and not taking action on one of the main issues that has. been happening in my life.
As you know, I have spent many years living in the shadow of having bipolar disorder and panic disorder (social anxiety and panic attacks) and possibly also PTSD symptoms from my last hospitalisation.. that I didn’t realise that my panic disorder is essentially agoraphobia too. (Oh got to love my overly anxious nervous system and imagination that creates panic!),.
Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed. You fear an actual or anticipated situation, such as using public transportation, being in open or enclosed spaces, standing in line, or being in a crowd.
For me, this means that I can struggle to leave home alone at times, socialise, go out on public transport, go out to eat, go into a shop, travel anywhere alone including walking and that I panic and avoid and retreat from situations.. When I am going through a period of low mood, the agoraphobia/panic disorder can worsen.
I am managing my panic attacks through therapy and speaking to my therapist works. However, being indoors all the time through Covid and changing my working patterns to working from home meant that my agoraphobia got heightened. I didn’t want to be around crowds because I could get Covid. I didn’t want to go on public transport in a mask- because I might get Covid. I didn’;t go in a shop because people were there- but once vaccinated, this hasn’t changed. Really this was masking deeper anxiety and fear of the world in general- feeling uncertain after a job loss and starting a new career and feeling intensely self conscious too about weight gain on my medication.
Today on facebook, I had a memory from 12 years ago (when I was 21) which informed me that I had been on a night out at Ministry of Sound nightclub in London for a gig and I was also coordinating London Booze for Jews ( a Jewish student bar crawl) – despite the fact I didn’t drink. I have always been social but nights out in bars and clubs are just not my thing these days at the grand old age of 33 (grandma alert).
I know my panic is not the whole of me. In the past I have completed a degree and masters at drama school, travelled to India, Israel, places all over Europe and volunteered in Ghana for 7 weeks. Despite my anxiety, I run two small businesses, have managed to release a book, written for well known publications and achieved many of my dreams. I also met my wonderful husband and am not only proud to be a wife, but an auntie (and hopefully one day a mother too).
I am still Ellie and still the person I was inside before trauma hit.
Despite all of the amazing things above, I have been struggling with getting out of my 4 walls. So this is a diary entry to say: I will get better and get out the flat more. I will try and expose myself to feared situations. Above all, I will be kind to myself and take slow steady steps. I will lose the weight too!
All friends/fam are welcome to try and coax me out and help too!
I have put off writing for several weeks just because its so hard to make sense of everything going on in my brain, in terms of my anxiety disorder.
I have had so many good things in the past few weeks but I am also battling anxiety around work. I love my job but past events relating to employment have made me afraid subconsciously. I very much need to unpack these fears with a therapist- I have been on the therapy waiting list for a year and a half. In a few weeks, I will be seeing my new psychiatrist (roughly the 12th/13th one in 13 years due to high staff turnaround!) and I hope that he will escalate my therapy. I desperately need help with this as I get morning panic attacks around these fears. Despite using self help methods like meditation, these fears can be all consuming and stop me from going into work.
It is incredibly difficult for me to write about this because its so personal and because I love what I do. However, I have been struggling and I hope by writing that yes, I do get panic attacks about my fears, I can also make others feel less alone.
I did get some respite from these fears and work have been very supportive of me. I was able to go with my friend for a week on holiday to Madeira, a Portugese island off the main land near North Africa. Its a beautiful island, filled with terracotta roofed houses, turquoise seas, dolphins, whales and turtles, friendly people, bright sunshine and palm trees. We went on a boat trip and got to see some spotted dolphins and relaxed in and by our hotel swimming pools. Not to mention the love for Cristiano Ronaldo on the island, as he is from there and the airport is named after him! It was a really restful and fun trip. I wasn’t anxious all week- as it seems to get triggered by specific fears and situations.
I just hope to get back to full health again and get some extra support around the fears that are fuelling my panic.
I tend to beat myself up about having an anxiety disorder and feeling ‘incapable’ of doing certain things. I am learning self love and to be calmer and to just see my anxiety as a hurdle to be overcome. I may be a perfectionist who hates letting others down – but I am learning, like the Jessie J song, that Nobodys Perfect.
I have called this blog post ‘Breaking Mad’ after the title of a new book on anxiety I am reading – called ‘Breaking Mad: How to Conquer Anxiety’ . Its by a former anxiety sufferer and psychiatrist/ psychologist and I am hoping can give me some advice as to how to handle my morning panic when it tends to overwhelm.
I have really struggled this week and past month with panic and feeling overwhelmed. As this has been going on for years on and off, my panic disorder is not new- but I have to change the way I relate to it and the way I react to it. My instinct is to hide and down tools to stop the panic overtaking, but actually it has more of an effect that way and makes me wake up each morning consecutively anxious!
Distraction techniques, exposure therapy and meditation are key ways to get through that I have found of use. However, I need to find a mechanism that can really help. I have had various talking therapies in the past including CBT, which were not as helpful as I thought they would be. I am open to more therapy though.
Blogging of course is therapeutic and I hope one day to be blogging and telling you I am mastering living with my panic attacks and conquering them again. I know I can do it- it will be the longest journey- but long journeys start with one small, simple step.
That step is getting more support and also finding ways through the panic without taking shortcuts so I temporarily feel better. This book could help, or it is just some advice that won’t work for me. Yet its worth a try!
I have to take some of the pressure off myself too and give myself time to really recover and thrive again. This weekend I will try to practise a lot of relaxation and positive thinking, particularly in the mornings.
This post is probably the most honest one I have written (and as you all know I am pretty open about my mental health struggles).
I am completely and utterly exhausted, tired and fed up. I have been experiencing daily morning panic for 5 days, where leaving the house to go to work feels incredibly overwhelming.
This has happened to me before and I have got through it with exposure therapy and excellent support networks and medical team. I am incredibly lucky also that I work with supportive colleagues/ teams in my job, who go above and beyond to make sure I can be OK.
I am vulnerable to certain life stressors which can trigger my panic attacks and in particular morning anxiety. Due to the adrenaline and cortisol that is triggered during the panic, I feel like I have run a marathon but equally don’t want to sleep too much during the day so I am at home resting, recovering and recuperating. This may mean watching Love Island religiously, but I digress….
I feel like I am constantly on an emotional tread mill. The anxiety gremlins keep rearing their heads. This week has been particularly challenging due to the fact I have had panic attacks every morning. For me, my attacks are more emotional- I don’t tend to get palpitations or hyperventilate, I freeze like in fight or flight and then avoid. The avoidance temporarily stops symptoms but….
Avoidance is the worst thing you can do when you have an anxiety disorder. The worst. And yet we do it to feel ‘safe’ when really the feared event or trigger is not fearful at all.
I know that with support, I can get through this and feel much better. I have been recommended to the charity No Panic by a friend and yesterday I did the Yoga Nidra relxation meditation which calms the mind and body . I will keep trying to conquer the fears triggering my panic disorder- I have tried so much in the past but will have to keep going. I have been on the NHS waiting list for therapy for over a year. So I am having to do a lot of self help methods in the mean time.
Thank you everyone who has offered advice and support. Off to rest but will be back soon.
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