Mystery Blogger Award- Thank you and Nominations.

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Thank you so much to Ashley Leia at Mental Health at Home who writes amazing articles about her experience of mental health and beyond, for nominating me for the Mystery Blogger Award.  I love reading your blog Ashley!

The Rules of the award:

1. Put the award logo/image on your blog

2. List the rules.

3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

4. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself

5. Answer the questions you were asked

6. Nominate 10 – 20 people & notify

7. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)

8. Share a link to your best post(s)

My Nominations:  All of these blogs have amazing stories about mental health and I’ve learned a lot from them, many I interact with on an almost daily basis. I love being a part of our mental health blogging community.

  1. Beckie’s Mental Mess
  2. Casey Elizabeth at This Bipolar Brat  
    Kimberly at This Girls Got Curves 
  3. Kathi at Its OK not to be OK
  4. Alexis Rose at Untangled
    5.Tina at A Journey of a Lifetime   

6.The Catalysts for Change
7. It’s Good to be Crazy Sometimes
8. Mental Health Guru
9. Social Worker Angela at I am my Own Island

 

3 Things about me:

I went to drama school for my Masters degree (grad school)
I have travelled to India and volunteered in Ghana in a school and NGO.
I love writing and blogging… my first blog was on Blogger!

 

My answers to Ashley’s 5 questions:

  1. As a one line euology- ‘ she gave to others with kindness’
  2.  My most funny toilet experience was in Ghana… with a wooden shed, no plumbing and no toilet roll or flush….
    3. My favourite farm animal are baby lambs or piglets
    4. I would really like to visit America, particularly New York
    5. Strangest food item would be an African dish called teazet… which is savoury  porridge and meat.

5 questions for my nominees:

  1. What motivated you to blog about mental health?
    2. If you could be one book character who would you be?
    3.What makes you laugh uncontrollably?
    4. If you could ask someone to act as you in the film of your life- who would you choose?
    5. Whats at the top of your bucket list?

    My Favourite Post Link:

    https://beurownlight.com/2017/10/27/starting-therapy-and-nhs-mental-health-under-funding/

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I Am Learning: Gratitude and Self Care for my Mental Health

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(image: mindsetofgreatness)

Today on this cold, dark ,rainy, wintery day and past few weeks I am learning:

To be gracious

-To be more positive and to give thanks every day- either in my head to God
and the Universe or verbally through prayer. I also appreciate more and write down things I am grateful for. My friend Holly Matthews taught me this but I had also learnt it and felt it from various Jewish  and self development teachings.

To be kind to myself if I have a bad day and practise self care

If I am having a bad day with my anxiety or I am feeling low and tired because of the dark, cold weather, to feel better, depending on my mood I make sure I:

1)  Drink lots of water because my medications dehydrate me and so does the central heating  – and my skin gets all oily from the heating/ hair dries. So then I feel worse. Very important to keep drinking and try and get as much fresh air as possible.

2)  Take time to have a bubble bath or put on some facial or body moisturiser due to the above but pampering is also so important to self care when you are needing some.

3)  Nap, rest and take time to relax without feeling guilty. I have my go to blanket for this. Also, am learning how to practise good sleep at night because I often go to bed with my worries! I understand that for some people eg parents that this is harder. Grab rest when you can eg when your baby is resting.

4) Sometimes, writing or working on various projects can help as long as I don’t stress myself out. If I do feel overwhelmed then I have to cut back on things.

Today I am learning it is OK to feel anxious and overwhelmed but what is most important is to work on my mindset, work on positivity and embrace change. As well as following what I love and practising my passions.

What do you do for self care?

Guest Post by UnitedMind Laughter Yoga: How to get the most out of your Job and Wellbeing.

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(image:health.com)

Being unhappy at work isn’t just ‘one of those things’ you need to put up with, even in today’s society where hating your job can seem to be glorified. You don’t have to be incredibly passionate about your industry or role to still enjoy coming in (although it helps if you do love it!) , and there are a few tips and tricks that can help transform that negative outlook into a positive one.

Have a carrot at the end of a stick

Spending your time at a job you don’t like is always going to be stressful, so we recommend thinking about the carrot at the end of your stick when you’re staying late or having a busy day. What are you saving for? What are you looking forward to? You might not care about the company you’re doing the work for, but you will care about the dream you’re putting the money towards.

There’s nothing wrong with working a job for the pay check; we all need a roof and food. However, if you really want to start genuinely enjoying your job more, we recommend trying to get more out of it than just a pay slip at the end of the month; or at least get more out of that pay slip.

Get pleasure out of purpose

In Happiness by Design, Paul Dolan speaks about how we derive pleasure from purpose, and this is directly important to how we should approach work. Doing the bare minimum isn’t great for the company or team you work in, and “just enough” will start to mentally make you feel inadequate. Inadequacy usually leads to anxiety,  and sometimes you feel awful. You  then a cocktail for a terrible working environment and for your own wellbeing.

Instead, you should try hard at your job , as long as it is not affecting your health. Positive peer reviews and promotions can reward the work you put in, which will make you feel more positive, and that positivity can snowball from there into something considerable.

Hard work and happiness breed confidence, so even if you still don’t like the place where you work, there’s nothing stopping you from taking this new found conviction to go and land a job you will love. Sometimes a fresh start is all you need.

Turn your co-workers into friends

Walking in to an office full of people that you don’t know and aren’t friendly with can make work a lonely experience. However, if you socialise with your co-workers and make an effort to speak to them, then you might even start looking forward to work because you’ve got Emma that you can speak to about the match at the weekend or David who you can chat with about the latest episode of your favourite show.

We recommend, even if it means leaving your comfort zone, that you go to as many work outings as you can. Drinks after work are always good at making everyone feel more comfortable around each other, but even going to something like a light yoga session at lunch could be the start of a routine to bring you and your colleagues closer together.

A nod and smile in the hallway is, relatively speaking, a small gesture – but it can make a workplace seem so much more welcoming.

You and your space

If you have a desk, something as small as tidying it can do a lot to change your mind set. If you have papers and rubbish all over your work space, you will start to feel cluttered and swamped; physically and mentally. The process of throwing away everything you don’t need can feel very relieving and almost like a detox.

Personalising your work space can also help make work more enjoyable. A picture of a loved one, a little happy picture/ object or even a plant you can look after all help make your area feel yours; we can forget how important individuality is sometimes.

This article was provided by the team at United Mind, who provide laughter yoga for those that want to have a little fun while improving their mental and physical health. Thanks also to Jack Bird.

Sources:

 

Hitting the Pause Button: Taking a step back to promote Wellness

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(image: https://blogrhiaepoitiers.wordpress.com/2015/04/23/il-est-temps-de-faire-une-pause/)

Last week was particularly tough for me as I have written about and I felt really down. So this week, I decided to hit the pause button and just relax as best as I could, before attending job interviews next week. I am staying at my Dads in the countryside this week and while I have been doing a little bit of job hunting/ applying, I have mainly been resting and trying to promote as much relaxation as possible. I felt so drained and stressed out last week when I received some difficult news and knew I should take a step back in order to promote my wellbeing. I am feeling so much better, after having lots of sleep and not beating myself up over what went wrong.

Sometimes, I think that when we go through hard times, it can be all consuming. Your brain replays the upsetting event and tries to analyse it and think where you went wrong or if you could have done something differently. This week, after several days of this, I have chosen to pause. I have had to, for my own sanity. I am also lucky that even though financially things can be hard, I have the support of my family. Not everyone has that. That has made me be able to be more positive as well. I know that I am one of the lucky ones in that.

Last night, I went to the cinema to see Paddington 2 which was adorable. A very sweet, happy, family movie. Just what was needed really!

I know that things will get better again and am trying to draw on my strength and past experiences to be resilient and move forward. It is never easy. I am hopeful this week that I will get there, and part of that is from pausing and regrouping.

Summer Heat Wave and Mental Health Wellbeing

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(painting by Yvonne Coomber)

Here in England, we have been experiencing a heat wave of over 30 degrees (yesterday was 34 and the hottest day in England for decades). Needless to say, we are not really set up for this type of weather and most homes don’t have air conditioning, just fans and open windows!

I have decided to write about this because heat and its effects can very much affect mental health wellbeing.

Heat can make you feel sluggish, tired and overwhelmed. It can make you more vulnerable to pressures and less able to cope. Add to that a mental health or physical health condition or  concern and you will find that many people struggle in this type of weather.

There are also the physical concerns of dehydration, exhaustion, sun stroke, sun burn and the impact this has on wellbeing and mental health. It is so important to keep out the sun and keep hydrated. The intense heat can also affect sleep- and stop one from falling asleep and getting adequate rest. Again this will impact on our overall wellbeing, making one feel low or anxious or extremely tired or in the case of mood disorders, has multiple implications.

I find that when its this hot and there is no air conditioning, I feel less able to cope and more tired. However I am proud of myself for doing my best in this weather.  Luckily, its going to cool off a bit now too.

On the positive side, the sunshine brings much needed Vitamin D and can be a mood booster too! Just make sure you stay safe in the sun, summer is well and truly here 🙂

Bipolar Slim: Part One, Small steps.

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And so, the Slimming world diet has begun. Except it doesn’t feel too much like a diet- it isnt hugely restrictive which means I just adapt a lot of what I eat already but make it healthier- so less cheese, smaller portions of certain foods, good lean proteins and some carbs, add more veg and fruit, eat less chocolate and sugar (limited juice, drinking lots of water and low cal squash). Its about eating speed foods to speed up metabolism and burn fat and eat free foods- which you can eat a good amount of as they are healthy.  Free to enjoy essentially.

I am oddly really enjoying being healthier and taking care of myself (I hate exercise and have never been on a diet but its empowering). Its just dealing with the chocolate cravings that are a challenge- chocolate milk/ ice cream cravings. I’ve had some chocolate this week but i’m trying to limit it to maybe once or twice a week and smaller portions/ healthier.

I re-weighed myself and I have lost a pound this week! Which is the start of a long weight loss and health kick journey. I am now going to incorporate exercise into my plan, did a 30 min brisk walk yesterday.

I am on Instagram with my food diary which is helping with support and motivation from other slimmers and have the support of family and friends too. The group process is not for me- but I get support online and from my loved ones.

My aim is to lose 5 stone over time. I remind myself that the biggest journeys start with small steps…. heres to getting healthier!  

Changes: Hopes and New beginnings

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Sometimes in life, changes occur rapidly and you have to just go with them and the flow. These past few weeks I have been having a lot of positive changes in terms of employment and meeting new people. Its this that can provoke positive mindset but also fears and worries too. Change can be the most wonderful motivator or you can sink under pressures.

I am lucky that in my work, I have a good support network. Additionally, as Spring is here and the sun shines more, with lighter evenings, it is a very hopeful time.

I was reminded this week that Hope truly is the most important factor. Without hope, we are nothing. I have also found that getting adequate rest and relaxation time is key in keeping me feeling well and able to cope with lifes challenges.

Looking forward to a peaceful, sunny  weekend.

Monday Afternoon Thoughts

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Its strange to think that only two months ago I was working in a completely different career. I love children but teaching brought with it what felt like endless morning panic and panic attacks so I had to give it up.

However, since giving it up I have rekindled my love for writing and blogging and working as a social media manager. I love seeing social media grow and building presence for people and I love writing and sharing my message about mental health to the world.

I am pleased I have found something so fulfilling and I feel like this is what I am meant to be doing.

So, as I look forward to the week ahead, I must also remember to work hard and rest well also. To get enough sleep, eat good food and keep my spirits up.

Thankfully I have been so much better of late too in terms of my bipolar and general health.

Have a wonderful Monday to all my followers and readers! I hope you are all well and I send you love from London.

Guest Post by Richie: Dealing with anxiety, Live Your Now

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(image:weheartit.com)

I was honoured to be asked to write a piece on anxiety for this wonderful blog.  I’m Richie, and I’m a mindfulness coach – one who happens to have had anxiety for as long as I can remember.  The thing is, I didn’t always know I had it.  I’ve been researching positive psychology methods etc for many years, but I wasn’t coping so headed to see a counsellor who referred me for a course of CBT after having pointed out – Sir, you have bad anxiety.

Me?

Yes I’d had panic attacks, people would describe me as quite reactive, amongst other things – and after all these years, to discover it was my “fight or flight” mechanism going into overdrive & attaching to situations in had no business being in, well, I was not impressed to say the least! How did I miss this? I felt initially extremely put out by this, I saw myself as a “fighter” – I got on with things, my panic attacks were just “stage fright” (I was in radio/music performance etc), my OCD a quirk of creativity and all that jazz! Right?

Wrong.

This is when I began to understand more fully the stigma associated to “mental health”. A somewhat wishy-washy term to people not familiar, or plain ignorant of the facts (as I myself was), as it’s often attributed to needing to just “chill out” or, “stop being so depressed” etc. At some point in life, many people will experience bouts of some kind of mental illness – after traumas, disappointments, or for some no seeming reason at all! But then, even the most healthy people can catch a cold.  And that’s the issue. Mental Health is a physical issue, that cannot be seen, and therefore for some is like trying to see oxygen.

My advice is simple on this matter; for brevity.

Acceptance & ownership

Firstly, accept it’s a physical thing, and take ownership and understand the physical things in the mind that are taking place. This helps separate you from the thought that you ARE your anxiety/depression etc. This is simply not the case.

If you catch a cold, you don’t say you ARE your cold. CBT helped me understand the mechanics of it, and have useful approaches, but for me (and we’re all different), I find mindfulness to have been the most helpful because it teaches to not identify as “being” depression/anxiety etc. This begins a process of dissociation of identifying as “being” depressed/anxious, and instead acceptance of what it is, how it functions, learning how it feels, and gradually gaining a level of understanding and feeling of when it’s occurring – and how it can shape/affect our feelings/emotions and therefore behaviours/reactions.

Experiment with techniques

Secondly, experiment with ways that can help you day to day – of course, seek professional help, but there’s also much that you can do independently. Breathing exercises (massively effective!), reminding yourself that the depression/anxiety doesn’t make you who you are, try things like mindfulness which teach us to detach from thought.

I also personally use meditations, guided or technological, hypnosis, even things like “EFT” (emotional freedom technique – or tapping), reading positive books, listening to uplifting music, and actively managing thought processes as and when I can.  Using mindfulness to compliment allows for being more in touch then, with which techniques are being more effective for you in the moment.

Is anxiety still there? Oh yes! But the more I practice these techniques (and you will find what works for you) and indeed, share them with others, the more aware I become of “anxiety”.

Reframing

Lastly; I have also reframed my anxiety, because without that fight or flight mechanism, our species would not likely still be here! So it’s important! It’s evolved in our species to protect us – and there are times that flood of adrenaline etc is critical. We certainly would not wish to be without it, but the chances a tiger is going to jump out and eat us are hopefully not too prevalent in your neighbourhood…

My experiences prompted me to begin @LiveYourNow & @Rmindrs on Twitter where I post daily mindfulness reminders, engage, and encourage others to talk – and hopefully create a few laughs too! (Laughter releases great neuro-chemicals!)

Be forgiving of yourself, understand you’re on a journey, and when you find things that help you, share them with others. The more we speak openly, the less stigma is attached, and the more others who may be suffering in silence may feel comforted and confident to speak out and seek assistance.  I have been witness to that now multiple times, and it’s truly a wonderful thing when we accompany each other, in compassion, on our healing journeys.

Thank you for reading! I hope it brings even just one person comfort/hope.

To your greatest life,

Richie – @LiveYourNow

Article for the Monologues Project- ‘People don’t always understand’

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Be Ur Own Light has teamed up with the amazing Monologues Project for this months #showandtell feature. In it they interviewed us about our journey with mental health and asked questions about our lives.

It is such a pleasure to be working with them. Thank you Monologues Project!

To read the in depth article, click here: http://www.themonologuesproject.org/features/003

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