Tag: Wellbeing

From Denial, To Acceptance and Recovery: My Mental Health and Eating Disorder Journey by Emily J. Johnson

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 3 Comments
(image: Jasmin Chew at Pexels)

Trigger warning: discusses eating disorders and OCD

It has taken me almost thirty-five years to acknowledge that I have struggled with mental illness myself. I’ve spent a lifetime in denial. It wasn’t until writing my memoir Pushing Through The Cracks in 2021 that I observed my life objectively. I witnessed the experiences I’d gathered since childhood and how they had shaped me into the woman I am today.   A woman of strength, but also one diagnosed with a mental health disorder – Binge eating disorder. A label I neither wanted nor could accept. Not until now.

This isn’t my first experience with mental illness. In my teens, my life was in turmoil. After my parents’ unexpected divorce, my mother remarried a gambler with a volatile temper within two years. My father moved to Australia, and with the upheaval of my home life and the onslaught of puberty, I felt lost. My body was changing, and I’d become uncomfortable with my new shape. What began as a diet to slim my blossoming body developed into anorexia. In the 1980s, treatment was non-existent, at least for me. Instead, my GP gave me a telling-off and threatened to put me in a hospital and force-feed me via a drip. His threats petrified me, and I gradually increased my food intake again. It took me two years to recover. Ultimately, my anorexia was untreated, so it left me with a legacy of disordered thoughts about my body and food throughout my adult life.

A few years after my father’s death in my mid-thirties, I became fixated on turning electrical items off – the cooker, iron, hair straighteners, television – anything that was plugged in. I would touch the switches whilst talking out loud to myself, repeatedly, trying to confirm they were in the ‘off’ position. I knew they were off, but somehow, I couldn’t accept that they were off. Additional obsessions snuck in gradually. I began checking the fridge door was closed, then every door and window in my home. What started as checking became an arduous set routine every night to ensure the doors and windows were locked multiple times. I was terrified someone was going to break in. Checking the doors eased that terror, temporarily.

It continued for several months, and I couldn’t stop the thoughts no matter how hard I tried. I moved back to the UK in 2010 and it appeared the huge disruption to my life interrupted the intrusive thoughts and checking behaviours, and they stopped. As the mother of a child with severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I now recognise what I experienced back in my thirties may well have been OCD.

Fast forward to my late forties, a divorce behind me, and a period of depression to follow, I remarried and began a new life with a blended family. But within a couple of years, both of my sons and my new husband began struggling with their mental health. Mental illness filled our once happy home with depression, anxiety, alcoholism, OCD, and gambling, and it turned my entire world upside down whilst I tried to care for them all. I was under immense stress and turned to something to help me cope – food.

It began with me ‘rewarding’ myself with chocolate bars late at night when everyone else had settled. Over time, the ‘reward’ became a buffet of junk — mostly heavily processed carbs and sugar. All eaten quickly, in secret, and shrouded in shame. Within a few months, I was eating around 5000 calories during a night-time binge. In-between the binges were days of restricted food intake. I gained a large amount of weight, which I hated myself for. The self-loathing was overwhelming.

I realised I had a problem in late 2019 and went to my GP, who referred me to an eating disorder clinic. They diagnosed me with Binge eating disorder (BED), and I began a recovery programme, which I stuck to until the Covid pandemic interrupted my sessions, and I threw in the towel. As a result, I slipped back into bingeing again when life overwhelmed me.

In 2021, I self-referred myself back to the ED clinic. I’m still on a waiting list, however, I’ve taken steps to get support and am in recovery now. I am 24 days binge-free at the time of writing this, which feels like such a huge personal triumph after a long period of relapse.

I think the toughest part for me has been accepting that I had a mental health disorder. I also felt overwhelming guilt that I had perhaps somehow genetically gifted my son’s mental illness to each of them. It’s taken me a long time to accept my diagnosis and our family’s situation. But from that place of acceptance, I have finally found peace….and recovery.



Emily J. Johnson is the author of Pushing Through The Cracks, her memoir of her family’s struggles with mental health. She lives in the UK and this is her first blog on this subject!

Looking After The Home and Wellbeing of a Loved One As They Grow Older.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments
(Image: Karolina Grabowska: Pexels)

If you have elderly parents, family members, or those that you care about, you want to make sure that they are living in a home that is able to support their needs and to make sure that they are safe, secure, and comfortable. If your loved one is living alone, they may not be as likely or able to keep up with all of the home maintenance tasks necessary and may have some needs that they haven’t fully considered that their home could help them meet. Here, we’re going to look at a few ways you might be able to help with just that and increase their wellbeing.

Securing the household

While neither you nor your loved one should be in a panic about potential threats out there without any reason to be, considering the security of your loved one is worth the time. If they live alone, then they are somewhat more vulnerable than most people, so you may want to look at ways to secure the home, whether it’s investing in strong new doors and windows with tamper-proof locks, or in things like more external lighting to make the area around the home more visible and thus deter those who might think to lurk around the home. This will also improve their mental health- knowing they are secure and cared for will help their general wellbeing.

Inspecting the heating and looking after wellbeing

If there’s one season we should be careful to make sure that we’re equipped for: it’s winter. A particularly cold winter can be a health hazard, and older people can be some of those most affected by them. As such, before winter rolls in, you should make sure that you arrange for a servicing and inspection of the heating appliances in your loved one’s home. If there are any problems found, you might be able to cut some costs such as by sourcing a replacement part here yourself, but you should rely on a professional to make sure they’re taken care of in the safest way possible. Make sure that your loved one doesn’t have any problems with insulation and check for any air leaks so you can keep the home comfortable and toasty in the winter.

Make sure you visit your loved one regularly and check in with them, a chat and a smile will really help them feel settled and improve wellbeing too. Check ins to their overall health are so important, both mentally and physically.

Check the wet areas so they feel safe and comfortable

The “wet areas” such as the bathroom and kitchen are some of the most important areas to inspect on a somewhat regular basis. For one, you should check for any signs of leaks that could be fixed with the help of a plumber. But you should also keep an eye out for things like spreading mould and damp, which could affect your loved one’s health over time. In many cases, mould can simply be cleaned away from the area, but if it has spread too far, you might need a mould remediation team to come out and replace the affected surface areas.

It is important that your loved one doesn’t slip in their home due to water and that you regularly check that their home is safe and comfortable for them so they feel secure.

Making the home more accessible to help any anxieties around safety

A lot of people begin to face mobility issues as they reach old age, and disability becomes much more common. For that reason, you might want to look at some tips for making the home more accessible. You can talk to your loved about any specific issues they might have, such as answering the door, going up and down the stairs, or using the bathroom safely and comfortably. There are many changes that can be made to a home to mitigate the risk of injuries such as slips, trips, and falls, and to help your loved one live independently for longer, feeling comfortable going about all the usual daily tasks in the home.

In many cases, setting up alarm systems in the home can help too. For instance, a pulley that alerts someone if they have trouble accessing the bathroom can be a great idea. This functions similarly to the best nurse call systems, allowing someone with the most authority attend to the issue appropriately.

This will also calm any anxiety they have about these things and give them peace of mind. Their mental health is equally as important.

Considering whether they should remain at home

You can do all of the checks necessary to make sure that your loved one is getting along well in their own home. However, if the home is no longer fit to keep them safe and comfortable, or they are unable to make the adaptations necessary to suit it to their needs, then you may need to think about other options. There are a lot of assisted living facilities that can make sure that their individual needs are seen with the care of attentive professionals. If your loved one is no longer able to live independently and to see to both their own and their home’s needs, then you need to think about ways to have those needs better fulfilled for them.

Talk to your loved one about how they are getting on in their own home. Ask about how cold it gets, any leaks or issues they’ve noticed, or simply any issues they have using the home. Help them live in the comfort and security they deserve to improve their wellbeing and see if they have any mental or physical health issues which are preventing this too.

This article was written by a freelance writer.

5 Outdoor Activities That Will Improve Your Mental Health by Elizabeth Howard

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 3 Comments
(image: Elizabeth Howard)

Spending more time outdoors will do wonders for your mental health. While research has shown that being outdoors helps alleviate stress and the symptoms of emotional illnesses, you can easily discover these benefits by interacting with nature. You will benefit from being outdoors when you sit on your porch, but you’ll keep your leisure time more interesting when you engage in a variety of different outdoor activities and boost your mental health.

Take a Weekend Camping Trip

You can rough it in a tent or enjoy a glamping excursion by renting a fully equipped cabin for the weekend. As you search for available campgrounds in Mississippi (or the country you live in), look for a location that’s near the water or offers a variety of activities. You should try to plan a camping trip that offers plenty of amenities for you and your companions. Swimming, fishing, snorkelling, hiking, and bird watching are a few of the outdoor activities you can enjoy over the weekend. 

Be sure to bring your phone or a camera. You will probably see plenty of wildlife that you’ll want to capture in pictures or on video. Even if you rent a comfortable cabin or take your RV, you’ll find enough activities to keep you outside and in nature throughout your camping excursion.

Go For a Walk

You can spend more time outdoors without leaving home when you plan to take a walk each day or evening. This is an opportunity for you to get outside and clear your head away from work, family, and other obligations. As you walk, let your mind wander. Many people find this to be an effective way of subconsciously working out stressful problems. By the time the walk is over, you might find that they have a solution to a particular problem. 

You can keep your walks interesting and distracting by taking a different route each night. Find a different park, road or walk to a different convenience store each time. In addition to helping you explore different parts of your community, you will also have the opportunity to interact with different people, if you want to.

Rent a Boat

There’s no reason you should feel bound to land when you look for outdoor activities to enjoy. In fact, renting a boat and spending a few hours on the water can have a soothing effect on the mind. You may feel more tranquil as you’re surrounded by the sights, sounds, scents of the water. This is a great opportunity to get together with friends or bond with your family. 

When you’re on the water, you’ll be removed from distractions and have the chance to enjoy deeper conversations. You’ll also have a chance to see your city from a different perspective. By the time you return to the dock or shore, you’ll feel more peaceful and less stressed.

Start a Garden

There are many hidden health benefits of starting a garden, and it will provide a way for you to improve the landscaping of your own property. Working with your hands as you plant and maintain a garden will help you strengthen your hands and fingers, reducing your risks for joint pain. As you tend to your garden, your mind will wander and you’ll enter into a type of meditative state. This will help you set aside your daily worries and concerns for a brief period. That will be enough to relieve stress and help you enjoy a lighter mood.

Climb a Mountain

If you live near a mountain range, consider taking up climbing as a means of getting more outdoor exercise. The act of climbing will help you strengthen a variety of muscle groups throughout your body. As you climb, you’ll see your community and the surrounding region from a different perspective. The air will be more exhilarating as you reach higher points on the mountain. 

While you should start slowly and work with a guide, you may eventually find that mountain climbing can be a competitive sport that allows you to improve your performance over time. Achieving new climbing goals will cause a release of endorphins in the brain, helping you to enjoy a happier mood.

There are many more ways you can enjoy the outdoors and benefit your mental health. Look for things you like to do outside even if that just involves sitting under a tree and reading a good book. The fresh air will benefit your physical health as well as improve your wellbeing.

Physical and Mental Health: How Improving One Can Help The Other.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

Mental health is often viewed as something that exists entirely separate from physical health, but the truth is that they are closely intertwined. In fact, research has shown that improving your physical health can also help improve your mental health. Let’s take a look at some of the ways this happens.

1) Exercise releases endorphins, which have mood-boosting effects.

When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which have mood-boosting effects. This is one of the reasons why exercise can be so beneficial for people with depression or anxiety disorders. Exercise can help to lift your mood and make you feel happier. In addition, regular physical activity is an effective treatment for mild to moderate depression. It can help to improve symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, and low energy levels. And it’s a good option for people who don’t want or cannot take medication for their depression.

2) Physical activity can help to improve self-esteem and body image.

When you’re physically active, you start to see results in terms of your body composition and physical abilities. This can boost your self-esteem and make you feel better about yourself. Plus, exercise is a great way to manage stress and anxiety. When you’re stressed out, it’s often hard to find the energy or motivation to do anything. But when you have an outlet for your stress, such as exercise, it can help to ease that tension and make you feel better overall. Read this article for more information on exercising for beginners. 

3) Healthy eating can help to regulate your mood.

 An unhealthy diet can have a negative impact on your mental health. For example, poor nutrition can lead to fluctuations in blood sugar levels, affecting your mood. In addition, people who eat many processed foods tend to be more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. Conversely, people who consume a healthy diet that includes plenty of fruits and vegetables are less likely to experience these problems.

4) Physical activity can help you to get a good night’s sleep.

 Insomnia and other sleep problems are common among people with mental health disorders. In fact, research has shown that lack of sleep is one of the strongest predictors of depression. However, when you’re physically active, you’re more likely to get a good night’s sleep. In addition, exercise helps promote relaxation and calmness, which can be helpful for people who have trouble sleeping.

5) Physical activity can help to reduce stress levels.

One of the leading causes of mental health problems is prolonged exposure to stress. When you’re constantly stressed out, it can take a toll on your mental health. Exercise is a great way to combat stress because it helps to release tension and promote relaxation. In addition, physical activity can help you to manage your time more effectively and reduce feelings of overload or overwhelm.

When it comes to mental health, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But improving your physical health can be an essential part of the overall treatment plan. So if you’re struggling with a mental health disorder, talk to your doctor about ways that you can improve your physical health as well.

6) It can encourage you to take a different approach to your overall health

When you start taking better care of your health, it can prompt you to keep going and look at other areas of your lifestyle that need improving. Exercise and healthy eating can make you feel more energised and positive, completely changing your mindset.

It can also highlight other issues you might be facing that you may not have addressed. Maybe it’s time to go to the doctor or explore a diagnosis with ADHD Centre and get clarity on a problem you’ve been facing for some time. A complete health makeover can help you move forward and make the most of your new energy and lifestyle.

This blog was written by a freelance writer.

How to Overcome the Mental Distress of Recovering from Cancer by Rachelle Wilber

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Pexels)

Recovering from cancer is a long, challenging process that takes a lot out of you mentally and physically. Even when you achieve remission and start to regain your energy, the negative effects on your mind can persist. If you’re not sure how to deal with the emotional and psychological aftereffects, it’s easy to become overwhelmed or despondent. However, with the right approach, you can overcome that mental distress and regain a sense of contentment.

Talk to a Professional

If you’re dealing with mental distress during cancer recovery, seeing a therapist or counsellor could be helpful for your mental health. Some professionals specialise in assisting people in coping with major illnesses, and they can often give you beneficial insight. Sometimes, getting a fresh perspective from an outside source can be effective for solving problems that you’re struggling with. You don’t have to commit to monthly or weekly sessions, but it’s worth at least trying out with a session or two, and you can decide at that point if it’s right for you- and what you need.

Find a Wig to Match You

For many patients, chemotherapy is an effective treatment method for achieving remission, but it also comes with several negative side effects. One of the most well-known of these side effects is the thinning or loss of your hair. For some people, this is a difficult change to get used to, and some of the wig options available aren’t particularly appealing. However, there are places where you can purchase custom made lace wigs, which can give you back the look you prefer and help restore that self-confidence.

Find a Creative New Outlet

If you don’t have much to do with your free time during cancer recovery, it leaves a lot of opportunities for your mind to drift toward negative thoughts. This can become a powerful cycle in which the depression can fuel itself and worsen over time. To combat this, try finding a new hobby or creative pursuit that you can develop a passion for, when you have the energy to do so. Having something to do each day that you’re genuinely looking forward to will make a massive difference for your outlook, and it’s also good for the brain in general to keep you occupied. Some days you may just want to lie on the couch and rest- thats OK and listen to your body.

There will always be challenging days when you’re recovering from something as traumatic as cancer, but a positive mindset is still achievable. Try not to let the rough days define you and be kind to yourself. You could try something good for your mental health like meditation, art or reading if you have the concentration.

Remember that it always seems darkest before the dawn, and you will get through it- reach for support from a therapist, partner, friends and family.



Rachelle Wilber is a freelance writer living in the San Diego, California area. She graduated from San Diego State University with her Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and Media Studies. She tries to find an interest in all topics and themes, which prompts her writing. When she isn’t on her porch writing in the sun, you can find her shopping, at the beach, or at the gym. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook:

@RachelleWilber;

https://www.facebook.com/people/Rachelle-Wilber/100009221637700/

Try These Simple Depression Meals When Life Gets Hard by Kara Reynolds

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 9 Comments

(image: Unsplash)

Being an adult is exhausting.  We’re expected to work, build a career, keep a house, feed ourselves, socialize…the list goes on and on.  When you have kids, that list doesn’t get any shorter — instead, it expands to include keeping small humans alive, healthy, entertained and happy.  Becoming a mom is supposed to be one of the most magical parts of your life, but what they don’t tell you is that it can also be the hardest. Mom life is hard. There’s no point in sugar-coating it.

When that massive list of things that you’re expected to do becomes overwhelming, here are some simple depression meals that can help you eat healthily and keep everyone fed without putting in too much effort or relying on takeout. 

Nutrients That Impact Depression Symptoms

Depression is one of those things that we tend to only talk about in reference to other people, but it’s more common than you might think.  According to the World Health Organization (WHO). around 5% of the global population suffers from depression or around 280 million people. There are a lot of different ways to manage your depression symptoms, all of which should be overseen by a medical professional, but there are some small changes that you can make at home that might have a positive impact.  This includes changing the foods that you eat.

Research has shown that some specific nutrients might help manage depression symptoms include; 

  • Amino acids like tryptophan (found in turkey and chocolate)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids (found in oily fish)
  • Selenium
  • Iron
  • Iodine

Switching your diet around to ensure that you’re including these nutrients can help make the job of managing your depression symptoms a little easier. Here are some of my favourite depression meals for those nights when nothing else seems to be helping but you’ve still got a house of little humans to feed.

Charcuterie 

If you were a kid in the 90s, you probably grew up having Lunchables for lunch during the week. They were quick, easy and had most of the nutrients a growing kid might need to get through the day — if you were content to subsist on crackers, deli meat and sometimes cheese. Okay, so they weren’t the healthiest option, but if you make them fancy, put them on a plank of wood and call them charcuterie, they’re one of my favourite depression meals. 

The nice thing about charcuterie is that there is no wrong way to do it.  Pick your favourite meats, crackers, dips, fruits and veggies, and arrange them on a plate or tray.  Then pick and choose what you want to eat. It’s simple, it’s fun, and it’s a great way to make sure that everyone is getting fed when all you have the energy to do is assemble things on a plate.

Fish

Fish might seem like a lot of hassle, but it doesn’t have to be.  It’s also a great option for depression meals because it tends to be high in magnesium which is another nutrient that can help with managing depression symptoms. 

This simple sheet pan haddock bake is a great way to get your nutrients without making a  big mess in the kitchen.   It’s 5 ingredients — haddock, crackers, butter, garlic salt and lemon — and five steps — and one of those steps is preheating the oven and I’m not even sure that counts. If you’re not a fan of haddock, swap it out for your favourite fish. 

Stir Fry

Stir fry is easily one of my favorite meals.  It’s easy, it’s cheap, it’s fast, and you can make it with whatever you have in the kitchen.  Start by picking your protein. Then, pick your stir fry veggies — these can be fresh, canned or frozen. Fry them up in the oil of your choice, top with your sauce, and serve over rice. 

The key to a good stir fry, regardless of your chosen ingredients, is the sauce.  My go-to stir fry sauce only requires a handful of ingredients, most of which you probably already have in your kitchen.: 

  • ½ cup soy sauce
  • ½ cup chicken broth
  • 1-2 tablespoons of cornstarch
  • 1 tablespoon minced garlic
  • 1 tablespoon minced ginger
  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon rice vinegar.

Mix and pour, and you’ve got the tastiest stir fry sauce this side of your favourite Chinese restaurant. 

Peanut Butter & Jelly (Jam)

It sounds basic, but that’s because it is.  Peanut butter — and other nut butters, if you have a peanut allergy in the house — are full of healthy proteins and other nutrients that will help you feel full longer.  Pair it with some natural fruit preserves and your favourite whole wheat or multigrain bread and you’ve got a halfway healthy meal that takes almost no time or effort to prepare. 

You can always spice up your PB&J if you have more spoons.  If you’ve got more of a sweet tooth you can add sliced bananas, honey, or even marshmallow fluff.  The possibilities are endless. 

Be Kind To Yourself

As long as you’re eating, it doesn’t really matter what you eat for dinner — but making healthier choices can help to make you feel better in the long run.  Try a couple of my favourite depression meals and see if they make it into your regular meal schedule.

Above all else, be kind to yourself. 


This article was written by Kara Reynolds, editor at Momish.

Book Review: ‘Pushing Through The Cracks: In the Darkness of Her Family’s Mental Illness She Found Light’- Emily J. Johnson by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment
(image: Emily J Johnson)

Pushing Through The Cracks: In the Darkness of Her Family’s Mental Illness She Found Light by Emily J. Johnson is an incredible book. It is a story that I don’t believe has ever been written about before in such a way in the mental health space, I have certainly never come across it. Its a true memoir that occurred here in the UK during lockdown.

Emily wrote to me and kindly sent me a free copy of her book. I was hooked from the first page- this is a story of survival against the odds, of how mental illness can rip a family apart but how healing and hope are possible. Of strength through immense difficulty. Of light winning over darkness.

Four years ago, in the UK, Emily, a divorced mother of two, was living her best life with a new partner and blended family of six. But then addiction and mental illness entered her home uninvited, threatening to tear the whole family apart.

With an alcoholic husband and two teenage sons – one a depressed gambler and the other with chronic obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)– Emily is left to cope alone. And when the Covid pandemic hits, Emily, a ‘serial people-pleaser, enabler and born rescuer’, almost breaks too.

This true story delves into the darkest sides of mental illness and addiction with raw, often harrowing honesty. It shines a light on taboo subjects including self-harm, suicidal feelings, gambling, alcoholism, depression, severe OCD and eating disorders, all exacerbated by an unprecedented global pandemic and dwindling support services.

This is a story of remarkable strength, self-realisation and reclamation of a lost identity. This is a story of finding hope, pushing through the cracks in the darkness. It is also a story that touches on the difficulties of accessing UK NHS mental health services at times, especially CAMHS.

I found Emily’s strength through such severe adversity – dealing with a husband and two sons with severe mental illness, whilst carrying on with her own life when mental illness permeated every part, to be so inspiring. Her marriage falls apart, her children are unable to attend work and education, the family embarks on several different recovery journeys- navigating NHS mental health care and all its difficulties. Her sons addictions and acute OCD worsen and add to the pressures for Emily. How does she as a mother fix it all? She realises.. she can’t fix anyone and its not her job too.

The front cover features a dandelion pushing through the cracks of the ground. Emily describes the moment she hits rock bottom but then saw a dandelion poking through- which symbolised hope and light for her,

‘(image: Emily J. Johnson)

‘I pick up my phone and call a crisis support line…I desperately want someone to listen to me, to ease my pain, to hear my stories…(of mental illness at home)

I throw my phone across the path in frustration… something catches my eye, a beautiful yellow dandelion is growing through a crack in the concrete. Its golden yellow petals cut through the greyness of the broken path and it overshadows the filth and discarded cigarette butts around it. Despite its surroundings, it has found ways to push up through that crack, to have life. it is. not complaining or giving up, it’s surviving and it will go on to finish flowering. One day soon, the wind will carry its dainty seeds somewhere else to carry on the cycle of its life.

Just like that dandelion, I have pushed through adversity and survived. …I close my eyes and raise my face to the sunshine… Even in the midst of all this chaos, this darkness, there is warmth and light. There is hope.” (from chapter Dandelion) (Emily J. Johnson)

This is also a book which exposes the difficulties and realities of living with mental illness. I will add a trigger warning- it doesn’t hold back on the reality of mental illness including self harm, addiction, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts etc- so please read with care.

Thank you Emily for letting me read and follow the journey of your family. I hope your husband and sons are able to fully battle their demons and recover or stay in remission.

Pushing Through the Cracks by Emily J. Johnson can be bought from Amazon and good book shops.

(image: Emily J. Johnson)

Mental Health New Years Resolutions by my Twitter Followers (and I). by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Unsplash)

Its 2022 and some of us are making New Years Resolutions so I thought it would be a good idea to do ones focused on mental health and wellbeing. I asked some of my lovely Twitter followers what their resolutions were to include in a blog, so here they are. Thanks to all who contributed! I would love to know yours too!

Mine are get enough sleep, eat more healthily, lose weight and self care.

We can add:

Conversations Create Change LLC– My intentions are to nurture my inner child through healthy eating and fun activities.

Rabbi E. Poupko– Produce more video content for my YouTube channel!

Polly– Mine are to reduce my alcohol consumption, swim at least once a week, and learn to say No!

Erin Hallett– Saying no more often without an apology and continuing with daily yoga .

Ncediwe Solwandle– Try to take time out for myself from time to time, invest in boosting my confidence and self-esteem.

Guy Barton– I don’t do New Years resolutions but I aim to believe in myself more.

Stuart Rimmer MBE– Spend time in nature , heading for the mountains and living with more simplicity to counter the worlds complexity.

Robert Ashton– 1- Exercise, 2- sleep, 3- the outdoors, 4 – SAD lamp 5- 15 mins silent reflection at the start of the day.

What are your new years mental health resolutions?

(image Unsplash)


Love,

Eleanor

Surviving Trauma Makes Relationships Difficult. Self Compassion Can Help: by Taylor Blanchard

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Unsplash)

You sabotage your relationships when things feel too calm.

You panic when your partner goes on a family vacation, believing that they’re leaving you forever.

Perhaps you can’t stand hugs or gentle touch.

Maybe you’ve wondered to yourself: “What in the world is wrong with me?! Am I just not cut out to have close friends or a romantic relationship?”

Actually, that’s not the case! You deserve close relationships– everyone does. If you resonate with these scenarios, though, you may have some unprocessed trauma– and that trauma may be making your relationships feel like a rusty, ungreased wheel.

You’re not alone. Here’s how trauma can blow our relationships off-course, and also, how self-compassion can help to ease that struggle.

Trauma Creates Hypervigilance

Trauma is any incident that overwhelms your ability to cope (abuse, neglect, or surviving a natural disaster, just to name a few examples). These abhorrent experiences cause our brains and bodies to swirl with cortisol, also known as the stress hormone.

After a seriously traumatic event (or relationship or childhood), our cortisol levels don’t always return to baseline. Often, the nervous system creates a new baseline of heightened stress response. In short: you don’t go back to being as calm as you were before the storm. Now, you’re hypervigilant all the time. You’re always stressed, always scanning for the next attack.

Unfortunately, relationships can’t be created without vulnerability, and vulnerability can’t happen if you’re constantly scanning for attack.

You might be hypervigilant in your relationships if:

  • You feel uncomfortable, fidgety, and unsafe during social situations
  • You constantly micro-analyse everything other people say to make sure they’re not going to hurt you
  • You constantly micro-analyse everything you say to make sure you don’t say anything “wrong”

Aversion to Intimacy

Trauma, and the excess cortisol it triggers, also creates an aversion to physical closeness. When we’re stressed  (i.e., when our cortisol is on full blast), our nervous systems naturally resist being touched.

Do you find yourself shrinking away from hugs? Do you feel an urge to run away when someone gently touches your arm? That’s likely a trauma response.

Of course, if you’ve experienced assault or physical or sexual abuse, this is a double whammy. Since your trauma came from physical touch, your brain has registered any physical touch as dangerous– on top of your increased baseline level of cortisol. Of course you’d feel sick at the thought of a hug! If this sounds like you, go extra easy on yourself if you struggle with relationships; this struggle isn’t your fault.

So, This Sucks… How in the World Do I Heal?

Yes, it sounds bleak. If this is you, you may feel hopeless. I’m with you; I’ve been there. It’s not hopeless, though. This is healable.

Therapy: Do I Even Have to Say It?

Yes, healing this will probably require trauma-informed therapy. You’ll be surprised at how fast you can begin to shift once you see a therapist who validates your traumatic experiences.

Here’s a hint: Psychology Today’s find-a-therapist tool can help you easily find a trauma-informed therapist. (Make sure to select “trauma focused” under the “types of therapy” menu.)

Now That That’s Out of the Way: Self-Compassion Comes Next

I’m 100% serious when I tell you: you deserve to go easy on yourself.

I say this with firmness, and yet, I forget to go easy on myself most days. Regardless, it helps immensely to stop comparing your relationships to other people’s relationships (both friendships and romantic relationships!).

Yes, it may likely take you longer to learn how to develop lasting relationships, both friendly and intimate. It may seem unfair that making and keeping tons of friends, as well as a life partner, comes so easily to some, while you’re struggling to simply text one person back.

Know what? It is unfair. You shouldn’t have gone through the trauma that you went through. What this means, though, is that you can recognize that you face more relational setbacks than someone who didn’t suffer the same trauma as you did. You’re starting further behind with a ball and chain tied to both feet.

Thus: you can stop comparing, and you can stop feeling like you’re “behind” somehow. Always try to recognize even your tiniest victories, even and especially the challenges which seem “easy” to other people.

Wrapping Up

Relationships make our lives juicy and sparkly, and so, if trauma has impacted your ability to form relationships (I’m with you!), then you’re probably struggling.

Try your best to go easy on yourself. You’ve been through a slog of painful experiences that, unfortunately, can make life on Earth feel like walking straight uphill all the time. Therapy helps. Self-compassion helps.

And yes, I know it’s tiring, but there is help for you out there. Just keep going.


Taylor Blanchard is a freelance mental health and wellness writer for hire. Her lived experience and extensive knowledge on mental health, emotional wellness, and spirituality guide her to create deep, compassionate blog posts, which she hopes will help people to feel less alone in the world. Self-care for Taylor looks like staring at the sky, drinking cacao while listening to metal, or cuddling with her rescue Pitbull mix.

Transforming your Smile, Confidence and Mental Health in the New Year 2022.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Image Credit: Unsplash under Creative Commons

Self care of both our mind and our appearance can really boost our mental health. When it comes to looking after our smile, your teeth are important. Taking care of your teeth and gums is an essential part of taking care of your overall health, stopping you from becoming unwell, but it can also help improve your confidence too. 

Unlike other physical transformations, transforming your smile is something that can be simple and affordable, and you’ll be able to enjoy long-term benefits by doing it.

Could a new smile be on the cards for you in 2022? Take a look at these ways to transform your smile for a dazzling way to welcome in the new year.

Visit your dentist

The first place to go if you want to transform your teeth is the dentist. A lot of people have fallen behind on their appointments as a result of the pandemic, but it’s important that you visit your dentist regularly to make sure your teeth stay in good health. Your dentist will be able to recommend treatments that will improve your smile, as well as give you advice on how to take care of your teeth.

Take better care of your teeth at home

Improving your smile is something that takes time, and you’ll need to develop permanent habits to keep them looking their best. Some of the best practices for healthy teeth include brushing your teeth twice a day and making sure you use a quality mouthwash and flossing aid to keep plaque and bacteria at bay. Maintaining those good habits will help keep your teeth looking clean and polished for a smile you can be proud of.

Look at treatments that will transform your teeth

If you’re unhappy with your teeth, there are things you can do to change how they look. Invisible braces, teeth whitening and even dental implants at Dental Excellence’s clinic can make a big difference to your smile, with treatments able to transform your smile quickly and affordably. Cosmetic dental treatments are an investment worth making, making a big difference to your teeth and your confidence too.

Work on yourself to help put a smile on your face

Transforming your smile doesn’t just happen on the outside, you need to feel good about yourself to smile too. Some self-compassion and self-care could help you work on your inner confidence to give you something to smile about. Do things that make you happy, like seeing friends or your favourite hobbies – it will make a big difference to how you feel.

If you need to speak to someone about what you’re feeling, reach out – you don’t want to face mental health problems alone.

A lot of new year’s resolutions and plans fall at the first hurdle, but transforming your smile is a realistic goal you can stick to. Develop some better oral health habits and see your dentist regularly – it will help you keep your teeth and gums healthy and can impact the rest of your health too.

A new year means a fresh start, so get ready to start 2022 with a new outlook and a smile on your face.

This article was written by a freelance writer and contains links.