Many of you know that I love Esther Marshall’s bestselling Sophie Says book series for childrens wellbeing. I have blogged before about the books in the series which include ‘I Can I Will’, ‘Its Okay Not To Be Okay’ and ‘Be Proud Of Who You Are’ and now introducing her brand new book ‘It’s Okay To Make Mistakes’. Esther is on a mission to encourage confidence, resilience and emotional wellbeing in the children of today. She tragically lost her sister to mental illness and as part of her sister’s legacy she goes into schools and other organisations to read her books and embed wellbeing, promoting wellness from the early years and more.
The blurb says, ‘Mistakes aren’t something to fear — they’re how we learn, grow, and discover what we’re capable of.
In Sophie Says: It’s Okay to Make Mistakes, Sophie and her friends face challenges big and small, from getting an answer wrong in class to trying something new for the very first time. With kindness, courage, and encouragement, they learn that every mistake is a chance to try again.
This heartwarming children’s book teaches little ones that:
It’s okay to try, fail, and try again.
Mistakes help us build resilience and confidence.
Everyone — even grown-ups — makes mistakes.
The most important thing is to keep going and never give up.
Beautifully illustrated and filled with empowering messages, this story helps children aged 3–8 embrace failure as part of their journey, boosting their self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.’
Esther says that this book is for parents, teachers, and anyone who wants to raise confident, resilient kids and it contains beautiful illustrations from Buzz Berry. Esther has also thrown in a mistake of her own in the book so that she is also showing children it’s okay to make mistakes. Can you also find bunny hiding on each page?Â
This book follows Sophie and her friends as they make a big mess in the kitchen and learn that mistakes can lead to laughter, learning and even better cookies! Throughout the book, the character of Bunny reinforces that its ok to make mistakes.
(image: Sophie Says/Esther Marshall/BuzzBurry)
I will end this blog with a lovely quote from the book,
‘Remember if you stumble or fall,
Mistakes are a part of it all.
They teach us to be better, to learn and to play,
And help us grow stronger in every way!’.
I really love the Sophie Says books and they are perfect for that little person in your life aged 3-8, who needs a wellbeing boost. As well as the books, there are affirmation cards, colouring books and more resources. For more/ to order a copy please see www.sophiesaysofficial.com
With everything going on in the world today, some stories can get missed in the flurry of competing news. However, when I saw a post by the Oli Leigh Trust, a charity in my community dedicated to suicide prevention, that suicide prevention lessons are going to be made compulsory in secondary schools, I was so happy. Department for Education (DfE) announced on Tuesday that lessons discussing suicide prevention would be compulsory in secondary schools from September 2026.
Growing up, when I had my own issues with depression and suicidal ideation as part of my bipolar disorder, mental health was not spoken about openly in schools. We know that sadly, the suicide rate in the UK and worldwide has been rising. A group of Dads, Andy Airey, Mike Palmer and Tim Owen, 3 Dads Walking, who lost their daughters Sophie, Beth and Emily to suicide came together to campaign to Sir Keir Starmer and the UK government. Heres what they told the BBC,
‘Lives will be saved. Our Voices have finally been heard. ‘ He said the trio began campaigning shortly after their first walk to raise awareness in 2021 and admitted it had at times felt “like we were swimming through treacle uphill”, but now their “voices have been heard”.
“We have covered a lot of ground, literally and figuratively, over the last few years, but to come to a point where a significant change is going to happen still feels quite unreal. I’m stunned.”
“We are really proud of what we have achieved.”
Suicide is the biggest killer of under 35’s in the UK. In their first walk, they raised nearly 1 million pounds for Papyrus charity. In their second, they walked to all 4 UK parliaments to ensure every child was taught the skills to cope with suicidal thoughts. They then met with MPs to discuss how suicide prevention could be embedded in the curriculum.
“If this is the biggest killer of our young people, why aren’t we talking about it?”
So today I say thank you and congratulations to Andy Airey, Mike Palmer and Tim Owen- three courageous men spreading light and goodness in memory of their beloved daughters. Suicide prevention is so sadly needed.
I wrote about this a little bit a few days ago on my Instagram and Facebook but thought I would write a longer blog here.
So here goes…
In 2016, I started this little blog as a place to share my emotions and feelings around living with anxiety and panic attacks, processing trauma I had been through a few years before and just as a place to vent to family and friends. Nearly 10 years later, I and many contributors have kept this wonderful corner of the internet going and I am very grateful.
From 2016 onwards, I began to write my heart for mental health charities and national publications after sending pitch emails to them about my more unusual story of being diagnosed with bipolar at 16 and hospitalised twice by 25. At the time, bipolar was way less talked about (with psychosis and hospitalisation still a major taboo) and I wanted to be a part of changing that.
Amazingly everything started to click into place after I began online networking with editos… I was writing articles for Metro.co.uk regularly on mental health (Thank you Yvette!), I was featured in Glamour and the Telegraph (thank you editors!), I started writing for Jewish community papers and for a new magazine at the time, Happiful. Then, I decided I wanted to submit my journey with bipolar from 16 onwards to Trigger Publishing as a memoir and signed with them for a book deal in 2018. 2018 was a year of manifestation and synchronicity for me in many areas of my life.
Then, I was asked to write my story to be featured in the Book of Hope by my friends Jonny Benjamin MBE and Britt Pfluger alongside celebrities including Dame Kelly Holmes, Zoella, Alastair Campbell ,Elizabeth Day, Joe Wicks and many others including friends in the mental health writing world. Seeing my name on the cover alongside all these successful people I admired was something else and again my story of hope against adversity was being shared globally to help people who needed it.
My own book Bring me to Light came out in November 2019 just a few months before the Covid Pandemic and so I couldn’t get out there to promote it fully but it still did well on Amazon and was sold in Waterstones and globally. Its something I am hugely proud of despite sometimes feeling shy that my story is out there for all tom read.
Since 2020, I have kept blogging, writing for Metro.co.uk from time to time and I finally self published my children’s book Arabella and the Worry Cloud. However, imposter syndrome has really kicked in, let me explain.
The start of my writing career happened when I was unemployed due to my mental health. I had to leave a face to face teaching job due to my anxiety. I had no idea that this little blog for friends and family would turn into so much. In fact I would say it was a total whirlwind. I was only 30 when I signed my book deal (independently without an agent). I was just 28 when I started writing openly about my mental health and I often feel like an imposter! That little voice that says you’re not good enough because…
I am an independent writer which means I don’t yet have an agent but I have been published before by several publishers and I have also self published my kids book. So I worry that I won’t ever find an agent, that my dream of being a professional author with a team around me (agent, marketing team, earning good money from my craft) seems out of reach. In this industry as well when you pitch to agents to take on your book, it comes with a lot of rejection. My children’s book for example was rejected by Pan Macmillan (although I was fortunate to know someone there who was able to look at my manuscript). I know I need to keep going to help others, but sometimes it feels super lonely and you have to be so resilient. Rejection is normal but its hard.
I chose not to go into journalism full time in a news room for health reasons but I love to write freelance from home and hope to continue to do so.
I guess I feel like an imposter because my career that I did work hard for, came after my former editor Yvette connected with me on Twitter, she liked my blog and commissioned me to write mental health articles (despite at that point never meeting). This was the same for so many incredible editors who gave me their time and knowledge including Naomi Greenaway at the Telegraph , Deborah Joseph (formerly of Glamour) and Rebecca at Happiful. I truly feel blessed these women championed me and my writing.
So I guess what I want to say is that its OK to feel like you aren’t there yet, like you aren’t good enough, like the mountain of where you want to be is too hard to climb. What I have found is when people believe in you, in your ideas, in your story and when you can find that inner confidence and believe in yourself- incredible things can happen. You can manifest your dreams and I do believe one day more will manifest (even if my little imposter voice speaks up).
I want to end this story with something quite relevant that haunts me to this day. I was staying at my Dads when I was writing my first book, in the middle of the Buckinghamshire countryside at the time. I was more ‘high profile’ in the mental health world and very prolific on Twitter back in 2018-19 and so I received an email invitation from a producer at BBC Women’s Hour for a segment they were doing about bipolar. She asked if I would come on the show to talk about it. My fear/ panic about being exposed and too seen (and not worthy) meant I didn’t feel able to do it and I have kicked myself ever since! If anyone from Women’s Hour is reading this (haha) please do get back in touch!
But seriously- sometimes fear and anxiety stops us from doing what we most want to do but are too frightened to do. I still feel scared to give talks about my kids book. I look at others on Instagram who are Sunday Times Bestsellers and have agents and I think to myself….will I ever get there? Unfortunately social media comparisonitis at age 36 (i know I am still young) is still rife.
I think I have to remember that its OK to feel like this, as my friends have told me, so many creatives do. And its ok to take my time, work hard and see where it lands. It’s also OK to take other jobs while being a writer isn’t paying a main income too. I feel imposter syndrome in other areas of my life too but thats a blog for another day.
Exciting times! Thank you so much to my fellow mental health blogger Mandy Kloppers at Thoughts of Life and Love blog for hosting my blog on why I wrote Arabella and the Worry Cloud– to help children with anxiety. I know Shelley illustrated it for the same reason. I had so many worries as a child and young adult- I definitely had my own Worry Cloud!
When I was a little girl and well into my teen years and beyond, I had a lot of anxieties. As a self-confessed empath and worrier, I could feel when something was wrong. This led to separation anxiety with symptoms including nausea at school. Children who have anxiety need to feel safe, settled and above all, heard by parents/carers and the adults in their life at school.
I wrote my first children’s picture book, Arabella and the Worry Cloud, in 2019 and published it last year. It is based on me as a young 7-year-old girl who had a lot of anxiety. In the book, Arabella worries about her socks not fitting on her feet, losing her shoes in a muddy puddle, the rain soaking her and cold freezing her toes, the rainbow in the sky losing its colour, her cat Pickles getting lost, the plants in the garden dying, losing her homework, failing a test and being blown away by the wind. These worries are partly represented by a Worry Cloud that comes down to see her from the sky and threatens to rain on her with all her worries.
Eventually, Arabella realises that if she thinks jolly, happy, sunny thoughts in place of the worries, she can push the Worry Cloud away with the joyous light beams of positive thinking. Arabella unlocks happy memories with her family, visualising wonderful times with them and it gives her confidence to face the Worry Cloud head on, so it can go away and leave her in peace.
So many children will have their own version of the Worry Cloud.
(image: Shelley the Artist/ E Segall)
Read the full blog here about how my experiences informed me writing Arabella and how it can help you:
January can be a challenging month for us all, post the festivities and time off work. I just thought I would write a little update here.
This year, I am looking for a new role in Digital Communications for charities/ lifestyle brands, Journalism or Writing. I have also written the sequel to Arabella and the Worry Cloud– which is very exciting. I loved writing it and hope to work on it further this year :). The story came to me in Summer 2024 and I have been refining it. This month, my story (and my Dads) is also featured in ‘The Inherited Mind’, an amazing book by journalist James Longman about his search to understand whether mental illness is inherited – which is out now with Hyperion Books!
I had some time off over Christmas break and my husband Rob and I spent a wonderful holiday in Rome. It was really wonderful to explore the city (Robs first time there), eat lots of delicious food and just have time together! We tend to go away in the Winter due to Robs annual leave and have lots of lovely memories to sustain us through the new year (we went to the Colosseum and Roman Forum, Stadio Olimpico and Jewish Museum). We visited lots of restaurants and an amazing gelato shop (Marlene’s) and went shopping. We spent New Years Eve eating a yum dinner with wine and it was a very special week.
My health is a work in progress. I am working with the NHS Oviva programme to lose weight at the moment- which I hope will boost my fertility and general health- both mental and physical (and hopefully improve my PCOS). I will give more updates on that when I have experienced more of the programme- but I am working alongside a dietitian and medical professionals.
Mentally, it has not been an easy time and there has been a lot going on outside of all of this, but I am trying to take it day by day, hour by hour and create new opportunities for myself to thrive. There’s times where we all don’t feel good enough and have imposter syndrome. I do believe miracles happen when we choose joy and choose to co-create. The right opportunities will come- career wise, financially and health wise. I have been feeling more anxious at times but every day is different and I am trying to reset and look after myself, and those around me.
Here’s to a a happy and healthy 2025 with lots of amazing things manifesting!
You’ve heard all the hype about journalling for your mental health, but you’re not sure where to start. Surely there’s more to it than simply writing down your thoughts?
Well, yes and no. There are multiple journalling tactics that offer different benefits depending on your needs, goals, and personal style. Some techniques work well for some, while others might find different systems fit better with their lifestyle.
Here, we’ll cover three journalling techniques that can help you with your mental health.
Free writing
One of the most common techniques in mental health journaling, free writing can benefit you in many ways. Also known as stream-of-consciousness journaling, all you need to do is pick up a pen and paper and start writing.
The goal with free writing is to get whatever is going on in your head onto paper – but without the need for structure, judgement, or reflection. You begin writing about the first thing that comes to mind, whether that’s exploring what you’re feeling or a random musing you’re having. You stop when you feel finished – it can go on for pages or be a few short paragraphs.
Through stream-of-consciousness journaling, you can better understand yourself. You can work through complicated thoughts and feelings or simply relieve your brain of them. Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you understand them more clearly and address them. Free writing is also associated with a boost in creativity and can be used as a way of brainstorming.
How do I know if free writing is right for me?
You want to try out journaling, but you’re not sure where to start
You don’t like exercises to be structured
You’re experiencing a mental block
Gratitude journalling
Practising gratitude has a lot of mental health benefits, and there are many different methods. You can tell your loved ones that you’re grateful for their contributions to your life, carrying out acts of kindness to convey your gratitude. Or you could observe the small things that make life worth living – like the colour of the sky or a beautiful green landscape.
Journalling is a great way to solidify your practices of gratitude. By writing down the things you’re grateful for in your life , you can better visualise them and see just how much you have to be thankful for.
Gratitude can be especially beneficial if you’re prone to negative thoughts because it can help you appreciate the good in your life. But it’s important to understand that it’s not a catch-all solution. If practised incorrectly, gratitude could cross over into toxic positivity. To ensure it’s fully beneficial to you, make sure you can also acknowledge your current challenges while noting everything you’re grateful for.
How do I know if gratitude journaling is right for me?
You’re stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, whether large or small
You want to get a better understanding of the good things in your life
You’d like to start your day off in a positive mindset
Cognitive journalling
This is a CBT technique turned journalling practice. If you’ve ever had CBT, you’ll know that thoughts, behaviours, and feelings are different, but they can all impact each other. A thought – especially an untrue negative one – affects your emotions and can influence how you react to something.
Cognitive journalling can be done once a day or whenever you experience negative thoughts and emotions with this ABC technique, you write down the event that triggered the thoughts you had (the activating event), how it made you feel (your beliefs), and the way it made you react (the consequences). By doing this exercise, you can begin to separate thoughts from feelings and understand how they affect your life and your behaviours.
Another version of this technique involves you writing down a negative thought and the evidence that supports it, as well as evidence against it. This helps you to understand that your thoughts aren’t facts and can undo unhelpful negative thought patterns.
How do I know if thought, behaviour, and feeling recording is right for me?
If you struggle with anxiety and constant negative thoughts
You want to understand and challenge your anxious thoughts and beliefs
You struggle to separate thoughts and feelings
Journalling can help us with so many things, from inspiring creativity to helping us process our day. Some techniques are proven to support and improve our mental health, and the one that works best for you will depend on your goals and how you experience life. It’s important to note that it’s not a replacement for therapy, but it’s a supplementary activity that can boost you on a day-to-day basis. So get comfy in your favourite pyjama set, grab a pen and paper, and journal your heart out.
This unpaid blog was written by a freelance writer in collaboration with Cath Kidston, homewear brand.
Out of Office: Ditch the 9-5 and Be Your Own Boss, by my friend and author Fiona Thomas is an incredible read! I have known Fiona for some time as our writing careers overlapped. We both became freelance journalists for publications including Metro.co.uk and Happiful magazine at the same time. We then got book deals around the same time with Trigger Publishing and released our first books within a year of one another. Fiona is one of the loveliest humans in the mental health writer world and so I eagerly anticipated reading her new book.
Ostensibly, the book is a guide to ditching the 9-5 traditional workplace and going freelance! This is something Fiona has great knowledge of, having left the 9-5 after a breakdown in her 20s and being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It took her a year to recover from this and as she had previously worked as a Manager, she knew she couldn’t go back to the pressure cooker. You can read more about this in her first book Depression in a Digital Age.
Instead, like me, she found solace in blogging online about mental health, then writing and becoming a freelance writer for many publications. Now, she is not only an author but a writing coach, journalist and in demand speaker!
Freelancing is booming for people who want a more flexible lifestyle or have found themselves out of work too. All you need is a laptop, phone and internet connection!
(image: Fiona Thomas)
Now, to the book Out of Office. The book is full of Fiona’s trademark wit- I felt like she was talking directly to me as I read it. She has so much knowledge to impart on how to navigate the freelance world, avoid its pitfalls and make a successful career (and what to do when things can go pear shaped too!).
Whether you are just thinking about going freelance, just starting out or a few years down the line, this guide addresses all the questions you might have about working for yourself and making the most of life. Designed to help you attain and enjoy a self employed career, the book challenges the misconceptions around freelancing and offers the pros and cons of taking the plunge.
Fiona covers topics such as how to raise an invoice and submit a tax return, how to sell yourself, coping with imposter syndrome (aka I’m just not good enough to be here), as well as why working from home is proven to have a positive impact on productivity and mental health.
Fiona is a mental health advocate and always strives to help others on their journeys. I loved how engaging the book was, how I couldn’t wait to read the next chapter and learn more. As a freelance writer/blogger/author myself, I knew this book would help me too (especially with the finances) and it is sitting in pride of place on my book shelf as I devoured it. I will definitely re read and use Out of Office as a reference point in the future too.
This is a must read and you can get a copy here and in all good bookshops.
About Fiona:
Fiona Thomas is a freelance writer who was born in Glasgow but now lives in Birmingham. She has been published in Metro, Reader’s Digest, Happiful Magazine and Grazia. Her passion is working with female-led businesses and shining a light on the positive impact that freelancing can have on our wellbeing. This is her second book. She blogs at fionalikestoblog.com
The past few weeks have been incredibly busy- but exciting. This month has been a bit of a rebirth in many ways. My writing and blogging have truly taken off and been published in various different places- this month my story is in Happiful Magazine, two articles for Metro on mental health (www.metro.co.uk), I shared my story in the Jewish News here in the UK and online at STOP Suicide. It has been Time to Talk Day (about mental health), Childrens Mental Health Awareness Week and I have also volunteered this month with Jami (Jewish Association of Mental Illness) Mental Health Awareness Shabbat, which this year came to around 97 Jewish communities in the UK. I attended the panel event at a local community centre and discussion was had on mental health here in the UK, by experts including my friend Jonny Benjamin.
This month, I have also been asked by a friend to come in and talk to his work place about living with anxiety and what it means. So that is hugely exciting for me! I am also writing a mental health article for a top womens magazine- which is a dream of mine. I hope to share that with you when its published. I have been writing sample chapters for a book too and am in the limbo phase of waiting to hear what editors think.
So, its been a total whirlwind really as I have also been running my blog here and sharing peoples stories (and last month this blog was nominated as a finalist for a UK Blog Award). I was also asked last week if a social media editor could turn my story into a video for her 200 thousand followers so that is in process too. I had not ascertained how much interest there would be in my story.
Professionally, a lot is changing and I have to be very much aware to look after my mental health, to get enough sleep and rest, to make sure I take my tablets on time, to eat well and do some gentle exercise and to see and speak to my friends (and boyfriend of course). I have to keep grounded and rested in order to function effectively. Last week, the Jewish News article came out and I know it has had a positive ripple effect in my community- as my Mum was stopped in the pharmacy for people to talk to her about it. So thats exciting.
I am a shy person at heart and I have written extensively on having social anxiety. When my JN article came out, i actually felt very anxious at first and wanted to hide away. Mental health stigma is still present in my community and I felt scared. But I needn’t have worried as the reaction has been very positive!
Over the weekend, I went with my Dad to Iasi, Romania (on the border with Moldova) which is where my great Grandpa and his family were from. It was an eye opening trip- the city is grand and full of culture. However, as Jews we had relatives who died in the Holocaust and found this out using the Yad Vashem Holocaust database when we came back. It was great seeing Iasi but also sad as some of our relatives were taken from there to be killed – but an eye opening trip.
Today, I am feeling thankful and grateful for all thats going on and thankful for you who are reading and following and commenting- and enjoying my work.
I have had a really relaxing and at times, busy, break. I always try to pace myself because sometimes when I do too much, I get overly tired or anxious, which has a knock on effect for the rest of the week. Its important that I don’t do too much at once.
Although we don’t celebrate Christmas, my boyfriend and I went to the Christmas at Kew Light installations. They were so beautiful with a tunnel of fairy lights, oversized baubles, stars and snowflakes hanging from trees, coloured fairy light displays on the lake, different coloured trees and singing trees, burning fire and glittery fake trees, coloured pods changing colour to music and the Palm House light show with a Winter theme. The trail was just incredible, I really recommend it! There are also rides, a kids show and little kiosks selling mulled drinks and hot chocolate.
Then, I have been spending the past few days with family and been working a lot on my writing- on my book manuscript and also on another project for a magazine. It can get tiring and I invest a lot emotionally but I am so grateful to be able to write, and hope only positive things come out of it .
I have taken time as well for self care- to read, rest, relax so I don’t get overly anxious or exhausted. Yesterday I watched the Sex and the City Movie. I love Sex and the City, its brilliant. It makes me happy.
Hope you have all had a good break? Let me know what you have been up to. Remember self care is so important. Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy New Year 2018!
All has been so busy here at Be Ur Own Light of late that I havn’t often had time to sit down and just breathe and be. I started this blog back in March time as a personal journal and a way for me to speak to friends and family about my struggles with bipolar and anxiety.
Since then, it has been read on almost every continent excluding the Poles (thank you), gained a larger following here on WordPress and on social media and led me to collaborate with a variety of mental health writers and bloggers, campaigners, charities and  health campaigns.
From there, I have also started blogging for the Huffington Post Lifestyle under my real name and am hoping to collaborate with many others. My dream would be to have a feature in Glamour UK Magazine, Stella Magazine or Grazia. I hope that by putting it out to the universe that this will happen!
I would also like to write my own Mental health book and memoir and become a published author and raise more money for charities.
Thank you so much for reading and being a part of my writing journey. Thank you for your likes, follows, comments, guest posts and Tweets/ Insta messages. Thank you for reading from your corner of the world.
I hope to make Be Ur Own Light a big magazine style blog, reaching as many people as possible. For now though, I am humbled by the love and support I have received so far. If you want to collaborate with me just email beurownlight@gmail.com or Tweet me.Â
beurownlight.com 