How Mental Illness Can Affect Our Coping Mechanisms.

(image: Unsplash)

Coping mechanisms are strategies that people use or develop in order to deal with, or avoid dealing with, difficult and stressful emotions or situations. Whilst some people may use exercise, a healthy diet or meditation as a way to process difficult feelings, it can be very easy to fall into unhealthy habits instead, especially if we have pre-existing mental health conditions.  

For example, those who have suffered with eating disorders may automatically fall back into restrictive eating habits or fall into a pattern of binge eating when life gets difficult. Whilst we can easily beat ourselves up for not ‘handling things’ in a healthy and productive manner, it’s important to remember that coping mechanisms serve an instinctive purpose. In times of stress, we seek comfort and safety. On a biochemical level, unhealthy coping mechanisms are serving that purpose.  

That doesn’t mean we should allow them to continue, however. Part of overcoming mental illness is learning how to cope in healthy ways that serve a higher purpose for you long term. Here, we will take a closer look at how mental illness can affect our coping mechanisms, and how you can learn to shift your unhealthy coping habits into more helpful ones. 

Why mental illness makes us vulnerable 

Mental illnesses come in a wide variety, and each person will experience them slightly differently to the next. But essentially, mental illness means that our brains aren’t working exactly how they should. This can warp our perception, and make us feel more anxious, stressed, insecure and prone to depression than we would be otherwise. 

When we are stressed, we seek instant comfort. Our brains instinctively drive us to seek the quickest fix and push us to run away from our cause of stress. This is why when you are really, really hungry, all you want to do is eat sugary foods such as chocolate – your body knows that’s the quickest fix for its hunger, even though you know consciously that it’s not the healthiest option. 

For people with mental illness, this stress response can trigger a repetition of a familiar pattern of negative behaviour that instantly soothes or avoids the initial problem, but also creates bigger issues long term. 

Recognise your behaviour 

It’s important to recognise when we are relying on unhelpful coping mechanisms to avoid facing stress, as they can lead to more serious mental and physical problems. If you are fixating on something that is not going to help you long term, such as obsessive cleaning, isolating yourself from family and friends, or abusing alcohol, you need to consciously recognise the signs that your habits are not serving you. 

You may find it helpful to write down the root causes of your negative habits, and commit to facing the problems head on instead of allowing them to cause you further problems. Talking to someone you trust can be a massive help and relief, and can help you springboard yourself into a better place mentally. 

Make small changes 

Often when our mental health is low, we can feel overwhelmed by the thought of fixing everything. Remember, your perception is magnified when you are struggling mentally, so everything will seem worse and harder than it truly is. Being kind to yourself and committing to changing just one small habit at a time can be really helpful in focusing on what you can achieve – one step at a time.  

Speaking to a health professional can be an intimidating thought, but sometimes it is necessary in order for us to make profound changes to our health and wellbeing. There is no shame in asking for help, and you are not alone. By recognising when our coping mechanisms are beginning to be less than healthy, we can make the choice to improve them. 

This article is written by a freelance writer.

Exciting News- We Are A Vuelio Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog Again!

Thanks to our friends at Vuelio, who not only ranked as again as a Top 10 UK Mental Health blog which is amazing- but included this little blog in the top 5!!

This is our highest ranking and I am so honoured. Thanks to all the writers and business/brands we work with too for their hard work in creating content.

This blog is in its 7th year now and can’t wait to see what the next year will bring. This is particularly special as this week is Mental Health Awareness Week too. The aim of this blog is to provide information to help people feel less alone and to dispell any myths of stigmas around mental illness.

Well done to all on this list and all the fab mental health bloggers out there.

You can see the list here: https://www.vuelio.com/uk/social-media-index/mental-health-blogs-uk-top-10/

Thank you Vuelio team!

Eleanor x

10 Steps To Managing Your Anxiety by Anita Ginsburg.

(image: Joice Kelly at Unsplash)

Anxiety is a natural response to stress, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and interfere with your daily life. If you’re struggling with anxiety, you don’t have to go it alone. There are many effective strategies for managing anxiety that psychiatrists and mental health professionals use every day. Here are 10 proven strategies for reducing anxiety and taking control of your thoughts and feelings.

Identify Your Triggers

The first step in managing your anxiety is to identify what triggers it in the first place. Is there a specific situation, person, or event that causes you to feel anxious? By recognizing these triggers, you can begin to take steps to avoid them or find ways of coping when they do arise.

Keep a Stress Journal

Keeping track of your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to gain insight into how your body reacts to certain situations and how best to manage them. Write down any physical sensations, emotions, or triggers that contribute to your anxiety so that you can better understand what’s causing it and how best to deal with it.

Exercise Regularly

Exercise is not only a great way to burn off pent-up energy but also helps release endorphins which act as natural mood boosters. Even just a few minutes of exercise each day can help reduce stress levels and improve overall mental wellbeing.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Taking time out of each day for relaxation is essential for keeping your stress levels low. Take up yoga, practice deep breathing exercises, or listen to calming music before bed each night—whatever works for you. Finding activities that bring about relaxation will help reduce the intensity of your anxiety over time and lead towards more peaceful days ahead.

Talk To Someone

Talking about the things that are causing you anxiety is often the first step in taking control of it again; whether it be with family members, friends, or even professional psychiatric services, like New Tele Doc, if needed. Having someone else who you trust to talk through issues with can help put problems into perspective and provide clarity on potential solutions going forward—something we often need when dealing with our own anxieties.

Get Enough Sleep

Lack of sleep can exacerbate existing anxieties so make sure you get at least 7-8 hours per night whenever possible; if not more depending on personal circumstances. If insomnia is an issue then try getting outside during daytime hours (weather permitting) as exposure to sunlight helps regulate the body’s natural circadian rhythm which aids in quality sleep later at night.

Eat Well and Drink Water

Eating well balanced meals throughout the day helps keep energy levels high while avoiding unhealthy snacks or sugary drinks which can cause blood sugar spikes/drops leading towards feelings of fatigue/anxiousness respectively. Similarly drinking lots of water helps ensure good hydration levels which makes us feel more alert mentally whilst providing physical benefits too.

Practice Mindful Meditation

Mindful meditation involves focusing on one’s thoughts without judgment in order to allow yourself some time away from any negative self-talk or worrying thoughts; allowing yourself time away from such things has been proven beneficial for those struggling with anxiety issues. It’s important however not to focus solely on this technique as other methods should always be employed alongside mindful meditation too when tackling any difficult issue such as this one.

Avoid Caffeine and Alcohol

Both caffeine and alcohol are known stimulants which if consumed regularly can increase adrenal hormones leading towards heightened states of fear, anxiety, and nervousness. Try replacing coffee/tea based beverages (which contain caffeine) instead with green tea or fruit juices (which don’t!) as these are far healthier options overall particularly when trying to combat any pre-existing anxieties already present within oneself.

Break Negative Thinking Patterns

Lastly breaking negative thinking patterns involves challenging any irrational beliefs we may have about ourselves by looking at evidence objectively. This could involve writing down pros and cons for certain decisions we make before acting upon them so we have an understanding of why certain actions should be taken based upon factual evidence rather than assumptions made from our own potentially skewed perspectives.

Everyone experiences periods of worry from time-to-time but learning how best to manage those worries will increase your confidence in being able handle similar situations better next time they arise. By following the above 10 steps anyone suffering from regular bouts of anxiety will likely find their overall quality of life improving dramatically once proper management techniques become part of their daily routine! Psychiatric services such as therapy sessions/medication may also be necessary depending upon individual circumstances. Seeking medical advice should never be seen as a sign of weakness but rather strength instead because ultimately tackling problems head-on is better than running away from them indefinitely.

Anita Ginsburg is a freelance writer.

On World Bipolar Day I Hope For: The Road to Remission by Eleanor

(image: World Bipolar Day)

Today is World Bipolar Day and for those of us living with bipolar disorder we know that living with it every day, year round is more accurate. However today is our day to talk about life with mental illness and to try and eradicate the stigma around the illness… ‘crazy lady’ ‘nuts’ ‘drama queen’.

World Bipolar Day is designed to raise awareness worldwide of bipolar conditions and to work to eliminate social stigma whilst providing information to educate and help people understand the condition.

Even though I live in remission/recovery with the illness, I am medicated daily to be this way, and I have undergone years of therapy and learnt coping methods too, with support from family.

Well, before I found medication that stabilises my bipolar highs and lows, life looked very different.

There were times I couldn’t work. I was so depressed I lay in bed in all day, only getting up to eat. I was scared to have a shower and wash my hair.

Life looked bleak. All I wanted was my duvet and oblivion. I had intrusive thoughts about ending my life, I was in a lot of emotional pain and this would last for weeks, sometimes months on end.

Bipolar isn’t just a bit high or a bit low…. its depression and mania, suicidal ideation and psychosis, self harm thoughts, hypersexuality, hyper activity, believing delusions that aren’t real…..SO much. Its episodic but it can ruin your life. Some turn to drugs, alcohol, sex to cope. Some hear voices too.

I have been in hospital twice for fairly long stays. I have been sectioned under the mental health act and held in a hospital unit against my will. I have been injected with sedatives to calm my mind and body when I couldn’t consent. I have met people in hospital who were suicidal, anxious, depressed, high on drugs, in psychosis. I lived on a ward where I heard people being restrained.

So, not much fun really. Luckily this month I am celebrating 9 years of remission out of hospital! I also came out of hospital as a nervous wreck and thankfully, therapy has helped.

(Image: speakingbipolar.com)

This blog is inspired by one of my followers who asked me what was my ‘Aha’ moment in recovery.

As well as finding the medicine Lithium, a salt that controls the mood fluctuations, the biggest thing I did for my own healing was go through therapy for my panic attacks and PTSD like symptoms. This was done with the support of my husband and family and because I has been on an NHS waiting list for 2 years, I needed help. My therapist and I have done EMDR trauma therapy which has helped me to process things.

In fact, I still do get anxiety attacks – just less. I have been in a very good place generally in the past year. Finding support at home, at work and from friends and family has been the most stabilising part.

I have had bipolar since I was 15, I am 34 and can tell you that this has not always been the case and my mental health has and will fluctuate.

I learnt recently that bipolar brains are neurodiverse, meaning our brain chemicals act differently to a neurotypical brain. Always good to understand the biology behind it too as this illness can be inherited and run in families- my Dad and I and other relatives have it.

On World Bipolar Day I hope:

-Employers adhere to the disability act and make reasonable adjustments to help those of us with bipolar to work in a better way for them, including hybrid working.

-People with mental illness aren’t fired because they can’t get to a physical workplace.

-Mental health services need better funding, so that people with bipolar can get a correct diagnosis sooner and get the help they need.

-People not in the Western world will get access to mental health medication and therapies that they desperately need.

Thank you for your ongoing support,

Eleanor

x

Read more about my journey with bipolar in my book Bring me to Light

The Unseen Consequences: How Bad Habits Can Affect Your Health and Wellbeing.

(Image: Maria Orlova for Pexels)

Most of us have bad habits that we’re aware of, whether it’s smoking, excessive drinking, or eating unhealthy foods. We may think that the only consequence of these habits is the occasional guilty feeling or a bit of embarrassment. Still, bad habits have far-reaching and unseen repercussions that can significantly affect our health. In fact, poor habits such as these can lead to various physical and mental health issues, such as depression, insomnia, and heart disease. The good news is that we can make changes to improve our health and overall well-being by understanding the unseen consequences of our bad habits.

Premature Ageing

Premature ageing is one of the most significant and often unseen consequences of bad habits. Smoking, for example, has been linked to premature wrinkles, age spots, and an overall aged appearance. The same applies to excessive drinking and unhealthy eating habits, contributing to poor skin health and general ageing.

Research has shown that bad habits can also contribute to accelerated ageing of the brain. Studies have found that excessive drinking, smoking, and other unhealthy habits can increase the risk of developing dementia and other age-related cognitive issues.

Decreased Mental Health

Bad habits can also have a negative impact on our mental health. Studies have found that smoking, excessive drinking, and unhealthy eating habits can all increase the risk of developing depression and anxiety. Additionally, poor habits can lead to an increased risk of developing insomnia, which can harm our mental health.

Addictions can be hard to break and severely impact your physical and mental health. Moreover, studies have found that bad habits can also increase the risk of developing substance abuse issues. If you feel you are struggling with addictions, there are drug rehab clinics which can help you, with qualified therapists.

Additionally, unhealthy habits can also lead to an increased risk of developing stress and other negative emotions. Studies have found that smokers and excessive drinkers are more likely to experience emotions such as anger and frustration, which can lead to further mental health issues.

Reduced Motivation

Bad habits can also have a negative effect on our motivation levels. People with unhealthy habits often feel lethargic and lack the energy and drive to complete tasks or take on new challenges. This can sometimes be attributed to poor nutrition, as unhealthy foods leave us feeling sluggish and unmotivated. Similarly, those who smoke often feel tired and lack the energy to exercise, which can further decrease motivation levels.

Bad habits can increase the risk of developing chronic conditions like diabetes and heart disease. These conditions can cause fatigue, which can further reduce our motivation levels. Additionally, those who consume excessive amounts of alcohol are more likely to experience difficulty concentrating, which can decrease motivation and mental health.

Increased Risk of Health Conditions and Diseases

Finally, bad habits can increase the risk of developing severe health conditions and diseases. Those who smoke are more likely to experience a stroke, lung cancer, heart disease, and an increased risk of developing COPD and other respiratory conditions. Similarly, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to liver cirrhosis, pancreatitis, and an increased risk of certain types of cancer.

Furthermore, those who engage in unhealthy habits are more likely to develop obesity and type 2 diabetes and an increased risk of developing high blood pressure and high cholesterol. These conditions can lead to an increased risk of stroke and heart attack and even reduce our life expectancy.

Conclusion

In conclusion, ‘bad habits’ can have far-reaching and unseen consequences that significantly affect our health and overall wellbeing. However, by understanding the unseen effects of our bad habits, we can make changes to improve our health and wellness for good.

This article was written by a freelance writer. If you need help for addictions or eating disorders, please reach for help from qualified professionals.

How To Cope With The Big Changes Life Throws At Us By Meghan Belnap.

(image: unsplash)

No one’s life is perfect. At some point, we all face difficult challenges and struggles that can leave us feeling lost, powerless, and alone. If you’re currently dealing with a big life change, know that you’re not alone. Here are some tips for how to cope with the big changes life throws at us. 

Acknowledge that change is hard, and give yourself time to grieve the loss of what was 

Acknowledging the difficulty of coping with emotional hardships in life can be the first step toward healing. Change is never easy and it is natural to experience grief or sorrow over losing something familiar or safe. Taking the time to sit with those feelings will help give space for understanding rather than running away and pretending like everything is fine. Being compassionate to yourself throughout this process can allow you to accept the struggles you are facing, ultimately helping you venture forward. 

Lean on your support system – friends, family, therapist, etc. 

When grappling with emotional struggles in life, it is helpful to remember that you are never alone. Caring and reliable support systems of friends, family, and therapists can make a significant difference in your journey of healing. A strong foundation of accepting people will lift your spirits and provide valuable perspectives on your situation. You might find this through your community at school, going to a local group therapy meeting, or through a religious or other network.  Every individual has different needs when it comes to dealing with emotional difficulties; leaning on those around you as a source of comfort can be an extremely supportive outlet, as you navigate through trying times. 

Find healthy coping mechanisms that work for you 

When dealing with difficult emotions, it is essential to find healthy ways to cope. Each person has different needs and preferences when it comes to finding relief from emotional hardships. Luckily, there is an abundance of coping mechanisms available. Whether it’s exercise, journaling, painting, or something else entirely, identifying which coping activities work best for you can help reduce stress in your life and give you an outlet for negative emotions. Being proactive in finding techniques that bring relief is the foundation for healing. 

Create a new routine or structure for yourself to help with the transition 

When dealing with emotional struggles in life, creating a new routine or structure for yourself can provide much-needed comfort and stability. This can range from something as simple as coming up with a plan for your daily tasks or an overarching chart that breaks down what you want to accomplish each week. Furthermore, it may be beneficial to set aside time where you can focus on self-care or just unplug and take a breather from the world around you. Though this type of change may seem daunting at first, having an established plan can give us control, which is often otherwise lacking during hard times. By putting confidence in yourself and investing effort in your goals, you can take strides on the path toward healing. 

Be patient with yourself 

Making a major change in life can be traumatic, and it is important to be patient with yourself as you adjust. Healing often happens one step at a time, so allow yourself the time and space to take whatever baby steps are necessary to feel better. Finding people who understand and can offer meaningful support along your journey is important, but make sure that the people you turn to also help you focus on your sense of strength and purpose rather than simply engaging in a pity party. With patience, you will eventually discover that you’ve healed enough that growth can start to occur. 

Going through tough changes in life is never easy, but there are ways to make it more manageable. Acknowledge your feelings, reach out for support, find healthy coping mechanisms, and be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to grieve and adjust, and eventually, things will start getting better. Remember that you’re not alone – Lean on your loved ones and professionals for help when needed. You’re worth it. 



Meghan Belnap is a freelance writer who enjoys spending time with her family. She loves being outdoors and researching new topics that help to expand her horizons. You can often find her buried in a good book or out looking for an adventure. You can connect with her on Facebook right here and Twitter right here.

Are You Slipping Into Seasonal Depression? Tips to Help By Obehi Iyobhebhe

(image: Sydney Sims: Unsplash).

It’s a day like every other day before, but you can’t find the motivation to follow your typical routine. On average, you’d jump out of bed, drink a hot cup of coffee, and catch up with morning shows and podcasts before hitting the gym or work. But you somehow don’t feel like doing anything today; this happens at a particular time of year.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is depression associated with seasonal changes, e.g., winter, fall (autumn), or summer. People tend to associate seasonal depression with “winter blues,” but it also appears in other seasons, and how to differentiate it from sadness is that SAD occurs in the same season every year for you.

Symptoms of seasonal depression

The symptoms of seasonal depression are divided into three categories:

General symptoms

● Loss of interest in activities you enjoy

● Sluggishness or hyperactivity

● Low moods that last all day, every day

● Insomnia or oversleeping

● Increased carbohydrate craving

● Loss of focus

● Low energy

● Suicidal ideation

Fall and winter SAD

Seasonal depression in the winter typically starts in the fall and lasts until after the winter, and these are the symptoms:

● Oversleeping

● Craving foods high in carbohydrates

● Weight gain

● Tiredness

Spring and summer SAD

Summer depression is more common during spring until summer, and the symptoms include:

● Weight loss

● Insomnia

● Anxiety

● Increased irritability

Are you slipping into seasonal depression?

As somebody who experiences seasonal depression in the winter, I can subjectively say there’s no ultimate method to cure or treat SAD, but there are tips to help you navigate it.

Tip #1: Identify the events that lead up to the seasonal depression

Are you in college and anxious about going home for winter break? Or you’re a mom about to spend her entire summer with extended family and it’s sapping your energy? It’s best to understand what happens when you experience seasonal depression so you understand the major problem and how to tackle it.

Tip #2: Don’t spend time alone

I understand how tempting it is to avoid people when you’re in a low mood, but spending time alone can make you brood over your intrusive thoughts, keeping you in a more depressed state. It’s best to invite your friends over if you don’t have the energy to see them and feel able to have them round. You don’t have to go too far out of the house or your comfort zone as long as you don’t spend too much time isolated.

Tip #3: Say NO to plans that make you feel uncomfortable

When you’re experiencing seasonal depression, you could be inclined to accept invitations just to escape the feeling of sadness, guilt and worthlessness. But you will only feel more drained by going to places you don’t want to be. Look after yourself.

Final tip

The ultimate hack that works for me during seasonal depression is being open about my suicidal ideation. Whether it’s second-hand suicidal or intrusive thoughts, I have a friend I can be vulnerable around, and I tell them everything that goes on in my mind during that period.

“What if they get tired of listening to me complain?”

It’s normal to feel guilty when you constantly complain to one person about your problems – you could feel like a burden and want to step back. But if that trusted friend or family member has never told you to stop talking or coming to them, you should keep going to them. And if that friend ever tells you that they are tired of hearing you complain, it doesn’t mean they hate you – your friends have probably internalised your problems too much and need a step back before continuing to be there for you.

In all, don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel when you experience seasonal depression, and remember, it will pass, so don’t make permanent decisions during that period.

I’m rooting for you and believe you’ll see better mental health days this year and beyond.

Author’s Bio

Obehi Iyobhebhe is a freelance writer in the business and psychology space. She’s passionate about helping people improve their life’s quality by paying attention to their mental health.

Obehi is also interested in helping entrepreneurs hit their business goals by creating blogs and email campaigns to generate leads.

You can find her here: https://ehinotes.medium.com/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/obehi-iyobhebhe/

Coming Home For The Mental Health Awareness Shabbat And Self Care by Eleanor

Happy new year everyone! Gosh its nearly the end of January and I havn’t written a blog for a while so thought I would share some things that have been happening here and talk a bit about mental health stuff too.

Firstly, my mental health is fairly stable at the moment, as has been the case for a number of years. I don’t get typical bipolar depressive or manic episodes on my medications and this year is my 9th year out of hospital , which is always a positive. However, I still suffer with anxiety and stress and get overwhelmed so have to pace myself! I have bad days too where things feel too much but thankfully they don’t escalate into a depression.

So for the positives- I have achieved some huge anxiety wins for me. Since November, I have been on the tube (first time in 3 years), I have gone up to the West End with Rob to the theatre using public transport, my panic attacks have been lessening, I have been able to see more people in person and I also passed my probation at work and have been made permanent (huge win!). I am someone who struggles with agarophobia when I feel more anxious and stressed and going out alone can still be a challenge.

I have been allowing myself to venture into previously anxiety provoking situations- for example, I get cabs alone home from work. I had to start doing this last year and it helped me get back into the world again. It wasn’t easy due to many fears I had but I have been able to do it, slowly. My job is also hybrid so I can work from home too- but getting back out into the world and having kind work colleagues at an office has been such a vital part of my recovery too. My therapist has been so helpful in dealing with the panic attacks and anxiety and I do still get triggered but at the moment on a lesser scale. I still find blood tests, hospitals and general health stuff scary because of what I have been through. I really recommend therapy.

I sometimes do have to cancel arrangements when things feel too much so am sorry to anyone I have had to postpone… its not easy and I hate doing it as I feel bad… but I am learning the balance of looking after me and socialising too. I don’t always get it right but I am trying.

Then, my friend in Bushey, Lee, texted me a few weeks back and asked if I would like to speak in my childhood community for the Jami (Jewish charity) Mental Health Awareness Shabbat. I hadn’t done public speaking about my story since before Covid in 2019, when I spoke with my Dad Mike at Limmud and at Chigwell shul (synagogue, my husbands community). I have had drama training so for me speaking publicly as someone else is OK, but when I have to stand up and share my own story, I get nervous as its so personal. The first time I was asked to speak in a shul at Belsize Square, I made it to the community but my Dad had to give the talk by himself as i was too panicked to attend the service. I managed in time to dip my toe in slowly, always with the support of my Dad and my therapist.

This talk in Bushey felt significant. It’s the Jewish community I grew up in and was a part of until I was 23. I felt like I was going home. The Bushey team told me they had two other speakers, but would I like to speak and share my story with bipolar disorder?

I thought to myself… I am ready, my panic attacks and social anxiety are more under control. To me being asked to come home to Bushey shul was a sign. My Grandpa Harry passed away in 2021 from Covid- and he and Grandma had lived in Bushey since the 1990s, when we were little. Our family lived in both Bushey and Bushey Heath and I studied at Immanuel College, across the road from our home and my grandparents. The area contains so many happy memories for me. I knew the new senior Rabbi and Rebbetzen, as he had officiated at my grandparents funerals and was so kind to our family. My Dad is also still a member of the shul and I still know a lot of people who live in the community too. Its a very special community and one I am proud to be from (and still feel.a small part of despite not being a local anymore).

So, I decided, with my Dad and Rob’s support on the day (and anxiety meds), that I could stand up in shul and speak with the other two speakers on the Shabbat (sabbath) morning. My Mum and step dad were supporting from afar and looking after our guineapigs.

The senior Rabbi and Rebbetzen hosted us for the Friday night which was wonderful as we got to meet lots of new couples and see the Ketts, the other Rabbi and Rebbetzen! For lunch after the service, we went to Lee’s house, which was very special as she was my batmitzvah teacher and is a good family friend.

I was initially told the talk was going to be in a break out room- but on the day it was decided that it would be from the pulpit. Last time I ventured to that pulpit and stood up there was when I was 12 years old, sharing my batmitzva portion of the Torah. The year my Dad was very ill and diagnosed with bipolar. I became ill just 3 years later.

Now, here I was back as a married woman of 34, revealing about the mental illness that had found its way into my family and caused a lot of devastation. However, the main reasons I wanted to stand up and talk about bipolar disorder are because I know that this illness runs in families, many Jewish families struggle with it. I wanted to give the message that you can live with this illness but you can have periods of remission, recovery, you can find hope.

And as I spoke to the audience of people – many of whom I had known since my childhood, who saw me grow up and saw my family eventually leave Bushey for Edgware, I felt humbled. I felt honoured to be asked to speak and I hoped that by sharing my own journey with bipolar (being diagnosed at 16, in hospital twice, the last time in 2014 for a very serious manic episode), that I could touch someone who needed to hear it. My Dad gave me permission to tell his story too.

When I grew up in. the early 2000s, talking about mental illness and particularly in Jewish spaces, was not the norm. I hope that through sharing my own journey and my Dads (he was undiagnosed for 9 years until he was 44), that I will have helped someone.

Most importantly, I felt I had come home. The kindness and warmth shown to me by the members of the Bushey community who I have known since I was a little girl was something so incredibly special and touching. People confided in me after the service about their own struggles. Others thanked me for sharing my story. I was hugely touched by the other two speakers who spoke after me about their own journeys with mental health and their children’s. I won’t name them here in case they want to be anonymous but I learnt so much from them and their experiences.

So I want to say a huge thank you to Lee, to the Rabbis and Rebbetzens and to everyone in Bushey who I have known for years and have loved- for hosting us, for inviting me to talk about something so personal in such a special community. It touched my heart. I really hope it helps.

I genuinely did not know how I stood up there to speak to 90 odd people- what kept me going is knowing I was doing this to help eradicate the stigma of mental illness but also I hope that the words I spoke gave comfort to anyone going through mental illness, that it does get better. It can improve. You won’t be ill forever.

When I was unwell in 2014, Jonny Benjamin MBE was speaking and sharing about mental illness. He taught me that sharing your story to help others is vital. So thanks Jonny for all your support too (whether you knew you gave me the courage or not :).

I also want to thank Jami charity, Laura Bahar and Rabbi Daniel Epstein. I was part of the volunteering team that helped set up the first mental health awareness shabbat. The project has blossomed and is now annual and it is truly wonderful to see.

What I want to clarify is that although I am currently a lot better with my anxiety, it is very much a grey area, day by day thing. That can be hard for people to understand- how one day you can be great with loads of energy and the next you have to stay home and recuperate- self care. But I think knowledge of mental health is increasing now, so do check in with your friends and family and offer a safe space without judgement- its so helpful.

Thank you again for reading this if you got this far. You can do whatever you put your mind too- reach for help from medical teams, medication, therapists and never give up.

With gratitude and love,

Eleanor

x

How To Cope With Everyday Challenges For Those Living With ADHD.

(image: Unsplash)

Living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be challenging in everyday situations. From difficulties staying focused and organised to managing emotions, those living with ADHD face unique struggles that can make life more difficult. However, there are effective strategies for coping with these challenges and leading a successful life despite them.

In this article, we will discuss six tips for managing the everyday effects of ADHD. With the right tools and techniques, anyone can learn how to manage their symptoms and live a fulfilling life.

1. Establish a Routine

For those of you who are Living With ADHD, you probably already know the importance of establishing routines. Having a regular schedule and structure can help to keep your day running smoothly, allowing you to stay on task and be productive.

Start small by developing simple routines that are easy to remember and stick to, such as setting a specific time for meals or getting dressed in the morning. You may also want to create an evening routine so that you can relax and prepare for bed in the smoothest way possible. Whatever you need to do for that day, having a routine to follow can help you to get it done.

2. Break Tasks into Manageable Pieces

As you navigate life, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the daily challenges that come your way. Some may be big, and some may be small, but to cope with these tasks, it is important to break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces. This way, you can feel less disheartened and instead focus on achieving each small goal as opposed to focusing on one huge end goal. 

They can also make it easier to stay on track. For example, if you’re trying to complete a project that is due in two weeks, break down the task into achievable steps for each day. This way, you can stay motivated and make progress without feeling overwhelmed.

3. Utilize Technology

Technology is constantly evolving, and if you know how to take advantage, it can help make living with ADHD a little easier. For instance, there are plenty of helpful tracking apps out there that can be used to remind yourself of tasks that need to be done or alert you when something needs attention.

Additionally, using an alarm clock app can help keep your schedule on track. There are also applications that can help you manage your focus better, as well as those that provide helpful tips for how to cope with life’s challenges. Taking advantage of technology can be a great way to stay organised, on-task and motivated.

4. Use Visual Aids

While you may think that you are too old to use visual aids, they can be a huge help when it comes to dealing with everyday challenges. Visual reminders, such as Post-it notes on the refrigerator or calendar events written in bright colors, can help you remember important tasks and deadlines, reducing your anxiety levels.

Not only that, but they can also provide you with the opportunity to reward yourself for completing tasks, as you can check off items or post pictures that are reminders of what you’ve accomplished. 

5. Get Regular Exercise

Regardless of whether you have ADHD or not, regular exercise is important for mental and physical health. This is because it can help people to focus better, gain more energy, reduce stress levels, and improve overall well-being.

Finding the right type of exercise can help you manage your symptoms. Try activities such as running, swimming, walking, or even yoga to keep your body and mind active. Exercise can also help to boost dopamine, which is a chemical that regulates attention and concentration.

Finally, remember to set manageable goals for yourself when starting an exercise routine. This will help you stay motivated and on track with achieving your fitness goals!

6. Practice Mindfulness

You may be surprised at just how many people living with ADHD use mindfulness to cope with their daily challenges. Mindfulness helps you focus on the present moment, without worrying about what happened in the past or imagining a future outcome.

This can give you more control over your thoughts and actions, which can be particularly beneficial when it comes to controlling impulsive behavior. To practice mindfulness, take a few minutes every day to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. You can also practice mindful eating or walking.

By becoming more aware of the present moment and taking control over how you react to situations, it can help you manage symptoms of ADHD and lead to increased self-esteem, improved concentration, better relationships with friends and family, as well as reduced stress and anxiety.

Final Thoughts

Living with ADHD can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. By taking the time to understand your own unique needs and creating strategies that work for you, you can manage everyday tasks and build self-confidence in yourself. It is important to remember that living with ADHD does not define you as an individual; instead, use it as an opportunity to discover new ways of doing things or approaching challenges in life.

With patience and practice, anything is possible! So don’t give up – take small steps each day towards conquering whatever comes your way.

This article was written by a freelance writer,.

How To Avoid January Anxiety And Burn Out By Dr Catherine Carney at Delamere

(image: Unsplash)

As soon as the 1st of January hits, every advertisement seems to switch from encouraging total indulgence, to tips and tricks on how to ‘better’ yourself both mentally and physically. Such a drastic change in narrative can cause your New Year to begin in a stressful, pressurised manner, and can even lead to burnout. 

With this in mind, Dr Catherine Carney of private rehabilitation centre, Delamere, has offered some tips and tricks to combat the anxiety that January can bring. As well as this, she will also outline the most common causes of New Year burnout, making it easier for you to avoid them. 

  1. Setting unrealistic goals 

While there is nothing wrong with being ambitious, pushing yourself too hard is destined to lead to disappointment and a feeling of failure. Rather than comparing yourself to people on social media platforms, it is always better to write a short list of smaller, more obtainable goals. 

Once you have achieved these, you can start to work on more difficult ones. This may be easier said than done due to toxic hustle culture being everywhere, but it is important to remember that everybody progresses at a different pace. If you attempt too much in one go for example, telling yourself you will go to the gym every day or read 10 books a month, you could mentally and physically crash and burn. 

  1. Comparing your progress to someone else’s 

As stated previously, different people achieve things in their own time, which is crucial to remember around New Year. If somebody you know has started running 10k a day and you are struggling to get past 5k, then try not to punish yourself – or worse, exert yourself too much and cause an injury. 

Your body and your mind can only do so much in a certain period, so it is always important to remember to rest and recharge. Not allowing yourself to do this can lead to you wanting to isolate yourself from others, due to feeling like a failure, as well as making you feel exhausted and worn out. Taking small, realistic steps is key when it comes to forming a new habit.

  1. Forgetting to plan your time

Many people find themselves struggling with day-to-day life in general, so adding a new task or activity can cause them to be completely thrown off. Telling yourself you will go for a run, read a book, or do some writing, but not planning a specific time, could lead to you becoming stressed and irritated – especially if you do not end up doing the task. 

Juggling work, sleep, a social life, eating healthily, and leisure activities can be very difficult, so it is handy to write tasks and goals down. Setting a specific time would allow you to get things done prior to the new activity you are trying to stick to, as well as allowing you to fill your time efficiently and with things you enjoy. 

  1. Neglecting rest, relaxation, and meditation

Sitting down and allowing your body and mind to recharge is possibly the most effective way of avoiding burnout. It can be very easy to forget about this, especially with hustle culture making people feel guilty for not being productive. However, mentally recharging will allow you to feel more energised when it comes to tackling your New Year’s Resolutions. 

Meditation and general wellness has been proven to lessen feelings of anxiety and depression, allowing you to clear your mind after a challenging day and re-centre your energy. While wellness is not the right path for everybody, it could be worthwhile to give it a try, especially if your resolutions have left you feeling sluggish. 

  1. Forgetting to see friends and family 

Many people experiencing depressive feelings will feel compelled to socially isolate themselves. This can be for a number of reasons, ranging from feeling too emotionally exhausted to leave the house, to not wanting people to know how they are feeling. However, as depressive thoughts go hand-in-hand with burnout, it is crucial to maintain contact with friends and family – especially around the New Year. 

If you have not achieved something you told people you would, or are generally feeling like you are underachieving, socially withdrawing may feel like a comforting thing to do. Sharing your thoughts and worries with a loved one will allow them to offer words of encouragement and support, as well as a potential solution to your issue. For example, if your goal is to go to the gym more often, your friend could offer to go with you. 

Content from Dr Catherine Carney at: https://delamere.com/addiction-treatment/work-burnout