Category: Mental Health

Keeping things Stress Free when Elderly Family need to sell their Home.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Unsplash)

A lot of elderly people decide to sell their homes. Usually, it is because they are either going to downsize or move into a retirement community. However, as we get older, it is not easy to do these tasks on our own, and a little bit of help is most certainly welcome, which will also help mental health. If you find one or both of your parents or a family member in this position, helping them navigate through it properly will make a huge difference, and that is what this blog post is all about. With that in mind, here are some things you can do to help them sell their home.

How to encourage a quick sale

If your loved one is moving into a nursing home for elderly, it is likely you will want to sell their existing home sooner rather than later. Heres one thing you can do…

  • Increase the asking price if too cheap – Your parents’ property could be failing to sell because it is too cheap. Do your research and see what comparable properties are being sold at. Never use the number 9 when pricing your home! Not only does £299,999 look unappealing but you will appear in viewer results on property portals. Why? You only fit in the category of £200,000 to £300,000. If you priced your home at £300,000 you would fit into the former category and £300,000 to £400,000.

Try to keep things as stress-free as possible

Moving home can be stressful at the best of times. However, this can be even more so the case if your parent does not want to leave their home but they have no choice but to do so because of their medical condition. This is why it is important to make sure that you make the whole process as stress-free as you are able to. When it comes to making all of the small decisions, don’t bother them with the details unless you think it is necessary. Aside from this, try to arrange viewings at convenient times to ensure your parent does not get flustered by the whole process. 

Five things you can do today to get your parents’ home sold

Instead of sitting there and feeling frustrated, do the following five things today…

  • Buy some new bedding – Freshen up their bedrooms with some new and modern bedding. This will instantly breathe some new life into the rooms. It is important that property viewers can imagine living in the home. Little changes like this can make all of the difference and help to encourage a sale.
  • Update your Twitter and Facebook pages – Drum up some fresh interest by updating your Twitter and Facebook pages. Ask your friends if they would share your status for you, so that you can get the ball rolling. With social media marketing, you have to update regularly if you want success.
  • Take new photographs of your home – Freshen up the photographs of your parents’ property. Add some seasonal elements to make it relevant and to create a welcoming atmosphere.
  • Call your estate agent – Ask him if there has been any interest in the home. Enquire about the general feedback so you can see where maybe you are going wrong. Don’t excuse your agent of not doing their job – you need to keep them onside, especially now!
  • Buy some new cushions – The impact of a set of new cushions can have on your living room is huge. You will instantly notice a difference, and, it won’t cost you much either.

So there you have it: some tips that can help you to help your parents or family sell their home! Good luck! We hope the advice provided above helps. 

This article was written by a freelance writer.

Being Self Compassionate when I have Anxiety (a List) by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments
(image: Unsplash)

I think that I put a lot of pressure on myself to be doing and achieving and living my best life. The truth is that this sometimes leads to overwhelm. I often try to run before I can walk as I am the eternal optimist… and then on the day anxiety (panic) takes over and I can’t do things.

This week though I have had extra pressures. I have had to deal with some medical things like my blood test for lithium (which I struggle to get to the surgery for), a potential job interview and my fears around social anxiety. Needless to say i have felt panicked and have had to self soothe, be kind to me and really look after myself. I am also working with an EMDR therapist.

So I thought I would create a list of things that I and you can do to be kind to ourselves! (inspired by googling and things that help me). Feel free to add in the comments!

  1. Call a good friend and have a natter- always good to speak to those who love you for you non judgementally and don’t mind if you’re not having the best day.

2. Have a warm bubble bath or shower with your favourite shower gel/ bubble bath/ bath treats. I am a big fan of bath bombs. Theres something super relaxing about them and you’re taking care of yourself too! I love things with cosy vanilla scents personally.

3. Do not be hard on yourself or criticise yourself. Bad mental health is not your fault and tomorrow can always be a better day.

4. Talk compassionately to yourself if your anxiety is overwhelming. Do what you need to self soothe and look after yourself.

5. Make sure you get enough rest- its OK to curl up with a blanket and Netflix for a bit, or read a good book. making art can also be healing too.

6. Accept the way you are feeling and seek support from a trusted therapist, friend or family member. You are OK as you are. You just may need help to recover.

7. Cuddle a pet. I have two very sweet guineapigs who give wonderful cuddles.

8. Listen to soothing music- that you love..

9. Remember to be kind to yourself, look after your wellbeing if you are low or anxious.

10. Call a support line if you are in crisis– such as Samaritans 116 123

11. Get the help I need – understanding that it’s okay to need help and seek it out when necessary. There is always the option to try different forms of therapy such as EMDR therapy or other therapy depending on what is needed. Getting help is the best thing that we can do.

Love,

Eleanor

x

The Inquisitive- a new film about mental health and suicide by Kelvin Richards

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

A daughter, struggling with mental health, is trying to cope with the death of her mother.

A father, recently released from prison, struggles to raise his teenage daughter as a single parent.

The Inquisitive is an independent British film that focuses on the extremely serious subject matter of teenage suicide and mental illness. The film is now working with multiple charities and organisations to bring more awareness to these issues and help make people understand why teenagers are suffering with such despair.

As with any film, we are in need of funding to help get it made. In 30-days, The Inquisitive is trying to raise £100,000 in order to give us the budget we need to make the film. We have budgeted accordingly and know there is a way we can make this a reality, however if we surpass this target, then we can make the film even bigger, better and draw in more famous faces to give the film the outreach it deserves so we can help raise even more awareness of these issues.

My name is Kelvin Richards, I am the writer/director of The Inquisitive and passionately believe that this film needs to be made. I appreciate there have been, and am sure will be, films about teenage mental health and suicide – but not like this. From the first day of deciding we were going to make this our next feature film, the team agreed the film couldn’t be ‘just another film about teenage suicide’, it had to be more than that, in both the way we make it and in the way we use it to help others. I want the film to have a lasting legacy that positively impacts the issues we focus on, and so we are teaming up with as many supporters as we can to help raise awareness of these issues and in-turn raise awareness for these organisations who’s aims are to help people struggling with mental health, or prevent those who sadly want to take their own lives. Two charities that have been a great asset to our cause have been The OLLIE Foundation (https://theolliefoundation.org/) and The Grace Dear Trust (https://thegracedeartrust.co.uk/) who have been of great help and I hope anyone in need can benefit from the services they offer for suicide prevention and mental health.

Before we begin, if this already sounds like a project you want to support then please feel free to find out more information and donate here – https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kelvinrichards/the-inquisitive – we truly appreciate any donation you can afford to help us make this film.

The aim of The Inquisitive isn’t to cure teenage mental health issues, or suddenly stop the vast amount of teenage suicides the UK experiences every year. The aim is to raise awareness of these issues and try to help people who were unaware, appreciate and understand why certain teenagers feel the way they do, or choose to end their lives – and most importantly, get family and friends openly talking about these issues.

The film focuses on the story of Selena, a 15 year old girl who has lost her mother to cancer and is now being raised by her father who has been in prison for her entire life. But we don’t see Selena’s story right away, instead, we watch the story unfold through the eyes of Selena’s father, Paul. A man in his early thirties who is struggling to find a job and raise his teenage daughter. He tries his hardest to be a father and he does eventually find a job so we begin to get sidetracked by his story, and just as his story reaches its resolution, he comes home one night to find a suicide note from his daughter and later finds her body, having successfully carried out the horrific act. He, nor us as the audience can believe what is happening. Through experiencing the story alongside Paul, we ourselves have experienced how easy it is to miss the signs. “Every time we saw her, she was fine! She even cracks jokes! So why would she take her own life?”

Only now do we reveal Selena’s story. Only now do we get to experience her suffering. Only now, it’s too late.

I want the audience to experience the sheer helplessness family members experience in these tragic circumstances, and how the audience themselves even missed the signs whilst watching a film. So we now helplessly watch the same events unfold, but through the eyes of a teenage girl.

I feel this is the most powerful way of telling the story and what sets The Inquisitive apart. By using cinematic techniques we will make the film as immersive as possible to help audiences truly appreciate, understand and experience these issues. Selena’s character will break down social misconceptions and stereotypes. Although they are young, teenagers are not stupid. They know full-well the emotions they are feeling and we, as a society, need to come away from this mentality of “oh it’s just their hormones”, “It’s puppy love” or “It’s just teen drama” because that in its own right, is part of the problem. Selena doesn’t take her own life because of petty issues like ‘puppy love’ or because she’s ‘just sad today’, she thinks nihilistic thoughts. Suicidal ideologies on the pointlessness of life. For a teenager, or anyone for that matter, to take their own life, it’s not simply because they have a mental illness, it’s not simply just an impulse decision, it’s not simply because they are depressed, it’s because they have decided life is not worth living anymore. It is the peak of existential thought, and yet teenagers who have taken, or have tried to take their own life, are just seen as ‘stupid’. Far from it. The issue is, they aren’t talking about these thoughts, they are keeping them bottled up and so it spreads like a virus, poisoning their minds to the point where they can see no alternative but to end everything. Or if they are talking about it, they are struggling to get the help they need because families aren’t informed enough on what to do in these situations – and from there is a very vicious cycle that unfortunately sees almost 300 teenagers per year killing themselves.

So if we can make The Inquisitive, raise awareness of, and get people talking about these issues, then we as filmmakers will have achieved our vision of the film.

If you too believe in what we are trying to achieve then we would be truly grateful for any donation you can afford, all donations can be submitted on our funding campaign page here – https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kelvinrichards/the-inquisitive – we have until the 10th November to raise £100,000 so every donation counts. From myself and all of the team, a huge thank you for taking the time to read this article.

An Exclusive Card Collection by Bryony Gordon , Mental health campaigner, for Thortful.com (for World Mental Health Day)

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Thortful and Bryony Gordon)

  • thortful launches ‘Affirmations by Bryony Gordon’ to mark World Mental Health Day
  • 100% of profits will go to the Community Programme founded by Bryony; Mental Health Mates

Greetings card marketplace thortful.com has worked with journalist and broadcaster and Mental Health Mates founder Bryony Gordon to create a series of positive affirmation cards written by Bryony and beautifully brought to life by illustrator Frankie Rose.  The cards campaign is in support of Mental Health Mates and Better Health – Every Mind Matters.

World Mental Health Day took place on Sunday 10th October, and throughout the month, thortful will be supporting both Mental Health Mates and the Better Health – Every Mind Matters campaign. The campaign encourages people to look after their mental wellbeing by getting a free NHS-approved Mind Plan. When it comes to taking care of your mental health, having a plan is a brilliant first step. So, throughout the month of October thortful are encouraging people to take the NHS-approved Mind Plan quiz, for personalised ideas to improve mental health and wellbeing.

Mental Health Mates is a network of peer support groups run by people who experience their own mental health issues, meeting regularly to walk, connect and share without fear or judgement. With walks and online communities across the United Kingdom, Mental Health Mates is a thriving community and one that is committed to growing to reach even more people in need of mental health support.

The affirmation cards collection is available exclusively at thortful. The cards include a QR code on the back, to scan to find out more about the partnership and tips to improve mental wellbeing.

Bryony comments: ‘Physical cards are so important, I used to receive them from my friend Fearne (Cotton) during lockdown, when she would write to me just for the hell of it, and it meant so much when it dropped onto the mat, even though we are in constant contact on WhatsApp! It’s easy to forget the stuff that is good for us and harder to retain it. I think affirmations are brilliant and important reminders of the things that make us feel good about ourselves. Reading an affirmation can really help us put positive behaviours into action.’

Clare Perkins, Deputy Director Personalised Prevention, Office for Health Improvement and Disparities (OHID formerly Public Health England) comments: ‘We are pleased to be continuing our partnership with thortful to support people with tips and advice to improve their wellbeing this World Mental Health Day and beyond. There are little steps we can all take to look after our mental health, and getting a free, NHS-approved Mind Plan is a great way to start. It’s important to find out what works for you and that’s why the Every Mind Matters website has lots of resources to try.’

Andy Pearce CEO of thortful comments: ‘We’re delighted to be able to host this collection for Bryony and her amazing community programme. Since our inception in 2016 thortful has always supported Mental Health causes so we’re delighted to be involved. We are also incredibly proud to continue our support of the Better Health – Every Mind Matters campaign by encouraging our community to get a Mind Plan.’

You can have a look at the cards here: https://www.thortful.com/cards/bryonygordon

This article was written on behalf of thortful.com and Bryony Gordon.

How to Keep Your Children in Mind during a Divorce by Brooke Chaplan

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Ben Wicks at Unsplash)

When your marriage ends in divorce, you will be faced with some tough decisions that will affect you and your children for years to come (including your mental health). These include issues like how much time each parent will spend with the children, how child support payments will be made, and whether you should try to share legal custody of your kids with your ex. However, deciding the logistics of custody is only one part of protecting your children during divorce. Read on for four ways to keep your kids in mind during your divorce.

1. Strengthen Your Communication Skills

Studies show that kids who maintain close relationships with both parents after a divorce are less likely to develop behavioural problems. In addition, they are more likely to do better in school, have positive mental health and lead happier lives. While there’s no way you can guarantee how involved your ex will be in your child’s life, you can work toward keeping lines of communication open. If your family is struggling with these issues or others related to divorce, seek out counselling through community resources. Most importantly, try to remember that you’re not alone in all of it; many families face similar challenges after a divorce.

2. Work With a Child Custody Lawyer

Child custody laws vary from country to country and you may be able to find a local lawyer who specialises in child custody law. A child custody lawyer can represent your interests and work with judges to advocate for what’s best for your children. If you can’t afford a private attorney, check out legal aid resources in your area or government-sponsored websites. You can also reach out to domestic violence groups in your community as they often provide pro bono legal advice for clients in domestic violence shelters.

3. Remind Your Children You Care

As you’re navigating a divorce with children, your main priority is keeping your kids safe and secure. That means keeping them happy, healthy, and loved. Remind your kids regularly that they will always have parents who love them deeply.

If possible in your situation, continue to include your ex in some family activities so they can see how much you love each other as co-parents. Then reassure them again how happy their lives are going to be even though their family has changed.

4. Help Them Trust You

Trusting parents after a divorce is something many kids struggle with. If children don’t trust their parents, they can turn to less trustworthy sources for answers and may even distrust future relationships. Teach your children that the divorce is not their fault, but that it does mean changes are on their way. While you don’t know what the future holds, make an effort to always be open and honest with your kids throughout the whole process.

When it comes to children, parents should always put their best interests first, especially amid divorce proceedings. These four steps will help you protect your children as you navigate your divorce.

This article was written by freelance writer Brooke Chaplan, who is based in the USA.

Self Care Tools to Better Your Mental Health and Wellness.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

(image: Unsplash)

Looking to improve your mental health today? These 5 resources will help you to develop a healthy self-care regime.

1 . The Blissful Mind 

The Blissful Mind is a self-care blog, here you’ll find a range of useful articles to help you create a structured self-care routine. Catherine is a mindset coach and self-care expert, her goal is to help people achieve a positive outlook, develop a self-care regime, and avoid stress. Using this blog you can learn about the best time management practices to help you make time for what’s important. On the blog, you’ll find a range of different topics, including ‘The Power Of Setting Daily Intentions’, and ‘How To Build A Strong Foundation For Your Inner Life’.

2. Rachael Kable 

Rachael Kable is a mindfulness coach, dedicated to helping people live their best lives. On Rachel’s blog, you’ll find plenty of practical tips for self-care, mindfulness, and improving your mental health. Explore a wide range of articles including ‘Self Care Tips For Busy People’, ‘Simple Bedtime Meditations’, and ‘Ways To Manage Stress’.

3. Sanity & Self

Sanity & Self is a great self-care application, here you can access plenty of activities and tips for self development. Perhaps you’re looking to reduce your anxiety symptoms? You might be looking to recover from a breakup, or boost your self-confidence? Whatever you’re looking to work on Sanity & Self is the perfect toolkit. Using this app you can explore a range of content, themes include sleep, self-love, stress, and more. The app includes both a journal and a mood tracker to help you create a healthy routine.

4. My Possible Self App

My Possible Self is a wonderful app for mental health, there are lots of activities to rewire your thoughts, practice healthy habits and learn new things. The app includes CBT methods and plenty of useful coping strategies. Users can benefit from lots of great features, such as:

  • Visual & Audio Exercises: There are a range of activities to help with sleep, relaxation, and mood.
  • Journaling: Writing in a journal is a great way to write down your emotions and problems. You can use a journal to reflect and problem solve.
  • Motivation: Get all the motivational tips you need to improve your self-care regime.

5. 100% Guilt-Free Self Care 

Looking for an awesome self-care podcast? Then you need 100% Guilt-Free Self Care. Tami is a self-care expert, here to teach you that there’s nothing selfish about the world of self-care. Throughout these episodes, you’ll learn how to fit self-care into a busy lifestyle. You’ll start to understand how you can let go of guilt, and improve your mental wellbeing.

All of these resources can be accessed using a mobile phone, laptop, or tablet. For the best results, update your operating system before attempting to access your content. If you’re looking to speed up mac check out the post from MacPaw to improve the performance of your device that will in turn, help your self care.

With the use of these tools, you’ll improve your self-care routine in no time at all. From apps to podcasts there are lots of ways to learn about self-care, to help you look after yourself and your wellbeing.

This article was written by a freelance writer.

5 Ways to Improve your Mental Wellbeing

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

When it comes to taking care of yourself, you should always put your mental health first. 1 in 4 people in England alone will experience a mental health problem each year, so we must be gentle with ourselves. However, modern life can be hectic, and sometimes it can be exceedingly difficult to find time to take care of yourself and your mind. So, what can you try to improve your mental well-being?

Credit: Tumisu/ Pixabay

Take regular time out

If you do not take time out to yourself each day, you will soon feel burnt out and struggle to manage your emotions. This could just be in the form of taking a nice relaxing bath in the evenings and completing your daily skincare routine. Or, you could watch an episode of your favourite show after a hard day’s work. Whatever works for you! You do not need to be doing something productive either; an evening in with Netflix can be just as good for your mental health as an evening spent cleaning or reading. After spending some time on yourself, you will feel more relaxed, and your mind will be more at ease.

Try yoga

Yoga can be a great form of exercise that will also help you focus and practice mindfulness. In addition, yoga can be a great choice for stress management, and attending a yoga class or taking an online class at home can leave you feeling ready for bed and content. If you are not a fan of yoga, then you could try daily stretches. Just ten or fifteen minutes spent stretching can make you feel flexible and can be a great way of winding down at the end of the day. Stretching is also a great way to start your day and can help set your mind at the beginning of the day so that way you are as productive and happy as you can be throughout the day.

Exercise

Exercise is a great way of taking your mind off any troubles you may be experiencing, and even just ten minutes of exercise will leave you feeling much better. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which make people feel happy and less anxious. However, when you are feeling down, it can be difficult to convince yourself to get up and complete a workout, but even just ten minutes of one of Chloe Ting’s workouts, for example, can leave you feeling happier. 

Some people struggle to complete workouts due to an illness, but there is a form of exercise out there for everyone! If you experience arthritis for example, there are exercise machines that are easy on joints that you could try! Or, if you find cardio too difficult due to a health condition such as asthma, you could try a more gentle form of exercise such as walking or cycling.

Credit: pxhere

Try herbal teas

Herbal teas are great at helping you unwind and are more relaxing than normal tea or coffee, which may only increase your anxiety and make you feel more stressed. Herbal teas, particularly chamomile tea, can ease feelings of anxiety or depression, as well as boost your immune system and aid your digestive system. So, herbal teas are great for both your body and mind! However, you should keep in mind that herbal teas are not a cure for mental illness and that if you are worried about the state of your mental well-being, you should consult a professional for help. 

Eat well

As much as we all love chocolate and pizza, sometimes these foods can leave us feeling bloated and grumpy. Therefore, you should still eat these foods because they are yummy, but you should make sure that you also eat lots of healthy foods that will make you feel better. For example, Brazil nuts are known to help improve people’s moods because they reduce inflammation and are a good source of Vitamin E, making Brazil nuts a great snack choice if you’re feeling a bit down in the dumps. Other foods such as seeds, fatty fish, and leafy greens can all help improve your mood.

Listen to ASMR

ASMR has been rising in popularity over the past few years. It is a niche genre of videos on YouTube where ASMRtists (the name for YouTubers who dedicate their channels to the strange sensation) brush your hair, whisper, and perform soothing sounds. Watching ASMR can reduce your anxiety, help you fall asleep at night, and soothe you. There are hundreds of ASMR videos online, so if you find that ASMR does help you unwind and relax, then there are plenty of videos out there for you to see. 

Meet with friends

Sometimes when you are feeling low, what you need is a good laugh with friends. As difficult as it may seem, get in touch with them and ask them if they want to meet for a coffee or go for some evening drinks. Even if you find that your state of mental health is not allowing you to enjoy your time with them, you could try and talk to your friends about how you’re feeling. Talking about your mental struggles and how they make you feel can ease your burdens and help your friends understand why you are not as perky or upbeat as you usually are. 

Credit: Glenn Harper/ Flickr

Tidy your home

It may sound silly, but tidying up your home or workspace can make a massive difference to your mental state. Tidy space, tidy mind! The act of cleaning and tidying itself can be very therapeutic and can help you relax. Once you have finished tidying up, you will find that you probably feel a lot less overwhelmed, particularly if your home is particularly cluttered or messy. A messy room can overload your mind because you are thinking about all the things you have to clear away and constantly searching for items you have lost amongst the mess.

When it comes to taking care of yourself, you should always put your mental health first. 1 in 4 people in England alone will experience a mental health problem each year, so we must be gentle with ourselves. However, modern life can be hectic, and sometimes it can be exceedingly difficult to find time to take care of yourself and your mind. So, what can you try to improve your mental well-being?

This article was written by a freelance writer.

5 New Interior Design Ideas to Boost Wellbeing

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 3 Comments
(image: Pexels)

The Novelty Cave Design

The novelty cave design is a unique idea that will make your home more exciting and memorable. It’s not easy to find something like this because you have to create it, but the results are excellent. Decluttering to create the space can also increase feelings of wellbeing.

The novelty cave design creates an underground space that you can use as a bedroom, bathroom, or just any function you want. Naturally, therefore, it’d be necessary to declutter areas you wish to redesign ahead of time. Consider moving boxes or anything you deem clutter to a storage – learn more about reliable movers near you.

The main thing here is to create the illusion of being in a natural cave, and it’s not that hard at all. It can help to have a space where you feel cosy.

Sauna Style Design

When moving houses, you may experience overwhelming feelings but moving in a house with a sauna style design will instantly improve your mood with its timeless and functional beauty. It’s not only about being cosy but also getting many health benefits while enjoying some time with your family and friends.

You can also include some cosy elements in the bathroom – your home will become more beautiful than ever if you take care of the minor details. You want your home to feel calm.

Pod Styles for Specific Rooms 

With their drawers, shelves, and cabinets for storage or display, pod-style furniture pieces are a great addition to any room. They take up less space than traditional shelving units but still provide many options for displaying favourite items.

Pod styles work well in bathrooms, where they serve as both countertops and extra storage areas. If you’re looking to transform your master suite, consider a pod-style countertop to replace the standard vanity. It will add storage and create an elegant focal point. It can also help to promote feelings of calm in the space.

Twilight Lighting Design

It’s no secret that a well-lit room is essential for any interior design. However, what if you’re trying to create more of an atmospheric experience? If so, then twilight lighting might be the perfect fit. Twilight lighting works by adjusting your lights in such a way as to cast shadows across the floor and walls – resulting in an ethereal feeling room. This can boost wellbeing if it helps you to relax and switch off too.

Minimalistic Designs

If you like more natural-looking designs, then this might be the style for you. This design is great because no matter what kind of decor your living space features, it will look good with a minimalistic design. The most common thing that people do when they use a minimalist approach to interior design is use light colours such as grey and white throughout the space. This can feel more relaxing.

This is a great design idea for people trying to sell their homes because the neutral colour palette makes your house more attractive and appealing. The best way to make sure this style works well in your living room would be using a fireplace as an accent piece or adding one large focal point in the room.

Conclusion

Interior design possibilities are endless, and it is up to you how far you want to go with the designs to make them interactive, attractive, and timeless. Make sure you create a home with lots of space and light, so it feels calm and promotes feelings of wellness and cosiness.

This article was written by a freelance writer

How to Look After Yourself When You Care for a Loved One.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments
(image: Pixabay)

If you are a carer for a loved one, or perhaps have a carer as someone with a long-term illness or chronic health condition, you will know that while it can be enjoyable and rewarding, it can be tough. Being able to take care of the needs of someone else, as well as yourself, can be a juggle, and often feel overwhelming. If you need some help and advice when it comes to caring for a loved one, then read on. As the old saying goes, you can’t fill from an empty cup, so looking after yourself is important as well.

Make each day different

It can be tough, but if you are caring for a loved one who isn’t very mobile and getting out of the house can be hard, then getting out and about can be the last thing on your mind for the day. However, having a change of scenery and keeping as active as possible is important for the mind in terms of dementia, as well as for their mental health. It can be a good thing for you as a carer too, as fresh air can make such a difference to how you feel too.

Think about routines

It can be easy to let the person you care for slip into your routine. This can be especially true if you don’t live in and just pop in each day at certain times. However, it is a good idea to think about the routine that is going to work best for those that you are caring for. It should help them to feel comfortable and at ease. This could look like not interrupting them when you know their favourite show is on TV or waiting to serve their meal at a better time, not just one that is more convenient for you. There needs to be a degree of flexibility with this, of course, but having a rethink of what you currently do is important.

Get the support that you need

Talking of routine and seeing what fits in with you as well as what fits in with others is important. However, there will be times when some things just won’t work; you can’t put everything that you need to do on hold. This is where getting help comes in. It may be that you just need another family member to step in for one day or perhaps you need to seek out the support of a carer support services team. It might be that you need physical help one day if you have an injury and lifting someone could make it worse. Look to create a circle of people around you that you can call on when needed and who you can trust and confide in.

Although the person you are caring for will come first most of the time, much like a relationship with a parent and child, you do still need to care for yourself. Putting plans in place that will make things easier for you, and give you any downtime that you need, is important.

This article was written by a freelance writer

What I am Loving this Autumn- The Midnight Library Book Review (Matt Haig) by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

(image: Charlotte Greaves/Twitter and Book by Matt Haig)

Today here in England has felt chilly, windy and cooler than the heatwave of a few months back. Its only the 1st September but there is that back to work. and school feeling, but also a feeling of cosiness.

I love this time of year. I never used to, with it getting darker earlier, but now I love the cosiness of Autumn- reading a good book, watching a good movie and snuggling under blankets with hot chocolate.

I normally use this to give updates on my mental health and write about how I am getting on. The truth is, I have been anxious at times and dealing with panic from time to time, so I have restarted therapy. However, so much of life is appreciating the good things so heres what I am loving..

You all know i love to read! I found this book online- I loved Matt Haigs book Reasons to Stay Alive, where he discusses his own depression. Its a book that has complete honesty and I found the same for his novel The Midnight Library.

The Midnight Library- a novel by Matt Haig

(image: Box Tree Gift/ Publisher)

I had been a bit late to read this (it came out last year) but the book touched me so much! Its about Nora Seed, whose life unravels to the point where she begins to feel suicidal and wants to end her life. I won’t ruin the book but she ends up in a spiritual/ fictional library with her trusted school librarian Mrs Elm and she is able to try on parallel lives- What if she had married someone? Had children? had a different career? become famous? What if she had said or something different- what if her life choices led her to different events or people?

We follow Nora on her journey of self discovery and as she navigates her own life, mental health issues, and overcoming her challenges. She is guided by Mrs Elm and the whirring library of lives she finds herself in- which includes the ‘Book of Regrets.’

This book speaks to me on so many levels. My favourite quote is this,

‘The paradox of volcanoes is that they were symbols of destruction but also life. ..She wasn’t a black hole, she decided. She was a volcano. And like a volcano, she couldn’t run away from herself…she’d have to stay there and tend to that wasteland. She could plant a forest inside herself.‘- Matt Haig

Matt Haigs writing is so beautiful- and I think this book will be turned into a movie. I recommend it if you are feeling well (as it does talk about suicidal ideation, which could be triggering). Its a wonderful book and completely unique.

The library metaphor and parallel universe theory pervade throughout. Although I am useless at Physics, its an interesting theory that there could be parallel lives or universes.

I recommend this to those who wish to be inspired- its just a really exceptional piece of writing and it will touch many hearts.

Note: This is not a paid ad for the Midnight Library- I just read it and loved it so much!