My crippling Anxiety once floored me. Now I wouldn’t be without it : Guest blog by Emma Johnson at Worry Knot Jewellery

April 27, 2020April 27, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

(image: Emma Johnson at Worry Knot)

Trigger warning: talks about self harm, anxiety, depression and mental illness

For 10 or so years, throughout adulthood, I have battled on and off with something invisible and something I still don’t fully understand myself.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

I’m now 29 but my illness started at about the age of 21. In my third year of University, I started to dread things, I started to worry about everything I said, did and I started to question if anyone liked me. I have always been apologetic but this was different. I felt like apologising for walking into a room.

I was unable to switch off, unable to focus on my University work and I withdrew a lot socially. Life moved quite slow back then.

For me I knew this was out of character. I’ve always been fun loving and outgoing, with a smile on my face. I became confused about who I was. I developed an uneasy feeling that would take almost 8 years to learn to sit with.

During the first few years of my disorder, I definitely still achieved a lot. I often feel my disorder makes me thrive more, sort of like overcompensation, a little bit like proving people and myself wrong. I graduated with a BSc in Psychology and at the age of 24, I went on to gain my MSc in International Development.

I don’t think I truly recognised these achievements until about the age of 27.

Whilst studying my MSc life changed quite a lot for me. I had gone through a bad break up in my younger years but then I finally met someone who lifted me back up, who challenged my thoughts, someone who was completely different to me in every way. This was oddly comforting for me, a bit like escapism from my own ruminating thoughts.

Then I entered the world of professional work. I started out as a fundraiser, and in my most recent role I tried my hand at facilitating group therapy. In 5 years I have moved through 4 jobs within the charity sector. Sometimes part time.

During this time my anxiety disorder would often become too much. I often sunk low and developed bouts of depression. I would cry and sob. I was back and forth to the GP, often teary, often red in the face and always a bit embarrassed, even though I didn’t need to feel embarrassed.

At one point I was signed off sick from work, bed bound for 3 months, with no motivation at all, just me, myself and my catastrophic thoughts. I was pretty exhausted, shaky, drained and more confused than ever. My physical symptoms manifested as sweating, chest pains, palpitations, shortness of breath and the odd panic attack.

One thing I started to do was open up, I began to share things with my partner and colleagues. They let me cry if I needed and at the same time my GP was stabilising and finding the right medication to suit me. But I was clearly still unwell.

I quit another job I enjoyed through my inability to cope and my lack of self esteem. My Imposter Syndrome led me down another uneven path. Always overworking. Always overthinking. Always overcompensating. I didn’t slow down until I was forced to.

Another behavioural symptom of my anxiety is skin picking and nail biting. In early adulthood I would sit for 3 hours picking at my face and over the years I have made the skin around my thumbnail so sore it would bleed. It is now scarred.

My need to fiddle with something to ease anxiety is always apparent. Earlier this year, I was talking to my friend about making jewellery and how cool it would be to make my own. I have always been into accessories, fashion and jewellery so I said I’d love to make something I can wear and carry with me discreetly but also fiddle with, to stop me from picking so much.

She mentioned worry beads and I was intrigued. I wanted to make my own twist on them. A prettier version, merging them with jewellery design that I would more likely wear, so I did and my life has changed. I have started a small business called Worry Knot.

(image: Emma Johnson at Worry Knot)

Alongside selling calming jewellery, I’m blog writing. I’m advocating more widely about the importance of opening up when confusing and sometimes debilitating symptoms develop. Not only is it therapeutic for me to make my jewellery but it’s extra therapeutic playing with this jewellery a few times a day.

Having something to focus on, things to make and to write about has been crucial in managing my own anxiety, especially at such an anxious time for the world. I hope my jewellery can go on to help those feeling anxious not only now but going forward into the future too.

(Images: Emma Johnson)

For more information please visit: www.worryknot.co.uk and instagram.com/worryknotuk

You can also find me @worryknotuk on Facebook and Instagram.

Emma Johnson is a writer with lived experience of mental health issues. She is the founder of Worry Knot, a jewellery brand to help others who have anxiety.

How to help Teens with Mental Illness succeed at School: Guest blog by Brooke Chaplan

April 20, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

(image via B Chaplan)

It can often feel like the educational system is not set up to deal with anyone who falls outside of a fairly narrow set of parameters. If you know a teen who is dealing with a mental illness, you have most likely seen ways that the system fails to help him or her. If you want to help that teen succeed, though, you can take a few of the steps below.

Seek Out Treatment

The first, and perhaps most important, step is always ensuring that the teen in question is actually receiving treatment for his or her illness. While you might think that the teen’s coping skills are up to the task of school, the truth is that professional help is still the best way to stay on track. Whether this means therapy, medication, or a combination of the two, seeking out treatment is always a wise first step, from a doctor (GP) or psychiatrist if needed.

Find the Right School

The next step requires taking a look at the school environment. Some students do well in a typical school, while others might need a more therapeutic environment. Even choosing a smaller college prep high school may be the best way to help out a teen who has to deal with significant emotional problems. The setting in which education occurs matters, so make sure that your teen has the support he or she needs.

Create a Support Network

Make sure that the teen in question doesn’t have to do it all on their own. Setting up a support network that involves friends, therapists, and even teachers is a great way to give your teen a bit of extra help when it comes to dealing with the tough days. While you should be careful with how you talk about your teen’s illness, it’s also a good idea to make sure that others are aware of what he or she is going through.

Involve the Teen

Finally, give the teen a stake in his or her success. Let him or her be part of the decisions about schooling, therapy, and finding the right support. Developing a sense of agency is a must for any person who deals with a mental illness, so start the process sooner rather than later.

Don’t be afraid to seek out help when your teen is struggling. Find a good therapist, build support networks, and make sure that you’re making the right educational sources.

With the right kind of help, your teen can be quite academically and emotionally successful.

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most of her time hiking, biking, and gardening. For more information, contact Brooke via Facebook at facebook.com/brooke.chaplan or Twitter @BrookeCha

Im not coping perfectly right now, but that’s OK: Lockdown Life by Eleanor

April 6, 2020October 20, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 9 Comments

(image: Pinterest)

Hope will carry you through. At the moment it feels like fear is taking over at times! Everything is so uncertain with the current global pandemic and routines changing, being unable to source certain freelance work, having to stay indoors a lot, not being able to see friends or family in person. People dying and being hospitalised. Everything is scary. Add to that the fear of death, the fear of the virus whenever I go out and you have…

Anxiety overdrive!

I was in self isolation a few weeks ago for what could have been mild Covid 19- I had a dry cough, sweats and fatigue. I recovered and am fine and still don’t know if it was Coronavirus or something else.

Then, the UK went into a form of lockdown.

I am not coping perfectly with all this. I’m trying my best to put routine and structure into my days. Some days I am so tired from it all, I need an afternoon nap in order to be more productive. I wake some days feeling anxious about what is to come, it all feels so surreal. One night, I sat and cried as everything felt too much with trying to balance work and life.

But, I wiped my tears, talked it out with family and felt better.

One thing I have started is a project called Corona Cards which sends handmade cards to people feeling lonely or needing cheering up in isolation. I now have 3 other team members (Bex, Donna and Abigail) making cards and its been really enjoyable. We send them by post to UK residents at no cost to them and you can follow us on Twitter @corona_cards and Instagram @coronacards1.

We have sent about 30-35 cards already and you can request them by asking me or messaging our pages. We hope it helps people’s mental health, particularly anyone very low or suicidal.

Crafting and focusing on the project has helped me a lot, I go for a short walk to the postbox to post them and therefore have a purpose to my walks! To know it is helping people also means a lot, and I have had 2 back in return which is lovely.

Thankfully, I can still have sessions with my therapist by Zoom and I have family support too. It is such a strange time in all our lives and it is understandable that anxiety and fear will creep back in. Especially if we have loved ones who are ill or we have existing mental health conditions.

I have learnt that life is a long game. Obviously, simply telling you to think a particular way isn’t helpful, but if you can slowly train your brain with help , then you’ll get a much better perspective on everything surrounding life and Covid. By no means does this suggest that we should all look miles away in the future and think about retirement properties or what your grandkids will be like, it simply means that you should take stock of the most important things around you and prioritise those.

I am thinking of those who are ill, particularly the ones I know about personally and wish them a full recovery.

A wise friend of mine told me this week that it is OK to take time for yourself. To just be, to look after your mental health. She is right.

So right now, despite feeling like I should be constantly working or busy with Pesach cleaning, I will be looking out for self care and I hope you will too. Keep focusing on gratitude.

Wishing all my Jewish friends a happy Pesach and everyone else a good Easter break.

How are you feeling?

Eleanor x

5 Ways to Evaluate your Body, Mind and Soul: Guest post by Daniel Torres

April 6, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

beurownlightblog

(image: https://unsplash.com/photos/h7qhDX6ExD4)

Many people think about their wellness in terms of exercise, nutrition, weight management, and physical health. However, wellness involves much more than you think. Your well-being must include mental, spiritual, and physical aspects. You need to engage your mind, nurture your spirit, and strive to get the general body balance.

The balance of mind, body, and spirit is more about living your life to the fullest. It is a personalized approach and lifestyle decision. It allows you to maximize your potential. To attain the best health, we need good self-stewardship for those we care for and for ourselves.

The body reaches a state of energy balance when you meet emotional, physical, social, intellectual, environmental, financial, and vocational dimensions. You need to pay close attention to all these dimensions as neglect of one will affect others. However, you do not need to balance them equally. The most important thing is personal harmony, which will feel authentic to you. Everyone has their aspirations, approaches, and priorities.

Making the correct choice to balance the mind, body, and soul can be a challenge. Many factors influence human behavior. What you want to do, how you intend to do it, and the chances of you succeeding should be your point of focus. They play a critical part when it comes to our habits, self-regulation, and wellness.

There are several ways you can evaluate your body’s well-being, including:

The food you eat

Many people downplay the significance of the food we eat on our body and mind. You need to eat foods that are dense in nutrients to improve your health. By doing this, you will feel energised, rested, and will be able to tackle day-to-day challenges.

There is a direct connection between chronic depression and the kind of food you eat. Avoid fast foods as much as you can. Moreover, consuming foods rich in nutrients and vitamins such as the best MCT oil that will help keep your athletic body in balance. It also has fantastic results on your nails, hair, skin, and more.

Getting enough rest

Some people are addicted to work. They will keep pushing to the limits even when the body has had enough. One thing you need to know is that your body needs rest, or you will burnout. You need to evaluate yourself and understand what is essential to your health and well-being or work.

Taking a break and resting increases your productivity and the satisfaction you get from working. Engage in outdoor activities like jogging, do the body in balance yoga and pilates, or get a massage. Engaging in these activities will work wonders in your body, mind, and spirit. You need to take good care of yourself before thinking about anyone else. Taking time off to meditate is an excellent way to unwind after a day’s hard work.

Working out

When you experience pain, it is mostly a sign that your body is not balanced. Your body is trying to convey information that there is something wrong. Keeping your body in balance through physical therapy tries to correct any dysfunctions that you may have. Physical therapy is a safe way that gets rid of the pain without having to take medicine.

Being free of pain is right for your mind, soul, and spirit. There are several techniques, which you can use to release facial, joint, and muscular pain. You can keep your body in balance through chiropractic care to help you recover without having to take medicine or surgery.

Disconnecting from Technology

In recent times, people have become so dependent on technology. Lifestyles have been changing rapidly hence, the need to be connected at all times. Engaging with your phone and laptop is a daily occurrence.

Over usage of these electronic devices has come at very high-cost health-wise. Sometimes, leave your phone at home and take a long walk. You should strive to be more connected to the reality of day-to-day activities. Moreover, being too attached to sites like Facebook and Instagram may lead to comparisons, thereby lowering your self-esteem.

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(image: Unsplash)

Read books and learn something new

When you have the urge to watch television, keep reminding yourself that you have to read a book. You will be able to create a balance between watching television and reading. The more you read, the more knowledgeable you become. It also helps your mind relax.

Another thing that will help to keep your mind, body, and soul in shape is challenging yourself to do something new. Encourage yourself towards personal growth and visit new places you may like.

At the end of the day, the little things count. Keeping your body in top shape should be at the top of your priorities.

Do you sometimes feel like you have neglected your body, mind, and soul? Share with us in the comment box below how that made you feel.

Bio: Daniel Torres is a fitness and wellness coach. Aside from his work, he is also a writer, and he has written on various topics, fitness, and wellness topping the list. Currently, Daniel is working with the youth from his local church on a fitness project for the community.

Mental Health Tips to get you through Coronavirus Lockdown: Guest blog by Chantal Shaw

March 24, 2020March 17, 2026 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

If you’re stuck at home during the Coronavirus outbreak and need some tips to help with your mental health, you have come to the right place.

Being on lockdown can make us all feel depressed and more anxious. Self care for ourselves and our families are more important than ever.

Here are some suggestions of things to do to help your mental health and self care at the moment:

– Follow an exercise video- Listen to guided relaxation (I recommend channels ‘Relax for a while’ and ‘Michael Sealey’ on Youtube).

– Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal- this helps to clear your mind.

– Nourish your body with healthy food and stay hydrated, so important to get help with groceries if possible and drink lots of water.

– Have a bath to help relax you and keep you feeling good.

– Watch stand up comedy on Netflix, Amazon Prime or on TV.

– Do a puzzle, if you enjoy them.

– Play a board or card game.

– Limit your exposure to the news to once a day if you are able to stop anxious thoughts.

– Bake/ cook – good for being mindful and creating something delicious, with a sense of achievement.

– Read a book and let your mind imagine.

– Go for a walk in nature (responsibly and if your country’s guidelines allow you to!).

– When you get up- make your bed and don’t stay in pyjamas all day, to get you into a good routine and positive mindset.

– Have a phone or zoom chat with positive influences in your life.

– Tidy your home as best you can.

– Play upbeat music (and dance or sing).

– A few drops of pure lavender oil in your bath or a lavender pillow spray to help you fall off to sleep and help reduce anxiety.

– Learn a new skill- many online courses are being offered.

– Break down the tasks that are overwhelming you in to small achievable chunks.

If you are having persistent overwhelming negative thoughts or feelings please tell someone- speak to a trusted friend or family member, your GP, the Samaritans on 116 123 (UK- you can also email them if you prefer), a counsellor.

Things can and will get better.

Our mental health is just as important as our physical health, look after it.

Chantal Shaw is a guest writer from the UK and the sister of our founder Eleanor.

5 Ways Therapy Can Heal your Family: Guest blog by Samantha Higgins

March 16, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

5 Ways Therapy Can Heal Your Family (1)

Therapy can be very helpful for families, and your family could benefit from therapy, too. Professional counselling is a proven method to help with all kinds of issues impacting families, and any issues plaguing your family could also be addressed.

To help you pinpoint just how therapy could help your family, you should look into the various situations where therapy might be useful. In particular, you should consider these five ways therapy can heal your family.

1. When Having Marital Issues

You can get assistance with all types of marriage issues when you get help from a therapist. If you have entered a new marriage, you can learn how to adjust to the roles that come along with that. If your marriage is on the rocks, you can get assistance, too.

If cheating has become an issue and you need an infidelity therapist, professional help is without a doubt a good idea. Therapy can help you deal with all of the emotions, assist you with any grieving, and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Dealing with the Loss of Loved Ones

The loss of loved ones can impact your family to the point where professional help is needed. If your family has lost someone, you can have short-term effects and long-term effects. When your family loses a loved one, you always run the risk of issues developing further. This is especially the case if it was your family member who died.

You will not be the only one to benefit from help. Children can learn to grieve and deal with the new family structure. Parents can learn how to better take on leading a home by themselves, and other family members can sound off and get feedback, too. Often a loss of a loved one requires people to take on new roles and responsibilities. Therapy can help your family if dealing with those situations.

3. Help with Children with Behavioural difficulties

If you have a child or children that are struggling with poor behaviour, you should consider therapy. Not only can bad behaviors be stopped and corrected, but they can also be prevented from impacting your family in the future.

Your children will be assessed by a therapist and reasons for their behaviour can be identified. Then, your family can heal. You all will be able to prevent more poor decisions from taking place, and you will have all kinds of resources to make sure this happens.

4. New Family Dynamics

If you have introduced a new dynamic to your family eg a blended or step family or new sibling or spouse, you might need some professional help. Failure to make sure there is a smooth transition could have horrible consequences for you. You run the risk of family members feeling lost in the new dynamic.

Whether you have a new spouse or a new child, these changes could cause issues for your family. Seek out professional services through therapy to mitigate issues from harming those you love. Your family can morph into the new family you know it is capable of becoming. You all deserve this.

5. Substance Abuse and Mental Health

Substance abuse and mental health are issues that definitely warrant therapy at times. Both of these issues can ruin your family’s well-being. If you are dealing with substance abuse or mental health matters impacting your family, you do have options for help. Therapy will help you unlock those options.

Did you know that around 20 million Americans deal with addiction issues? And did you know that almost 44 million Americans deal with mental health issues? If you and your family are dealing with either or both of these problems, you are not alone whether you live in the USA or not. You should consider turning to therapy to help your family overcome these issues.

Your Family Can Indeed Heal

If any of the five issues above touch close to home for you, you have a way out. You do not have to let these issues tear apart your family that you love. Your family does not have to hurt so much anymore.

Each of the aforementioned five areas can be assessed, addressed, and improved when problems are there for your family. There is hope for your family with therapy, and your family absolutely can heal.

This blog was written by freelance writer Samantha Higgins.

Looking to the Future and Life Dreams: by Eleanor

February 24, 2020March 17, 2026 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 7 Comments

Hi friends,

It has been a while since I have written a personal blog as there has been so much going on here that I was just focusing on getting through it all. Robs dad had surgery to remove a second brain tumour and is thankfully recovering well, the surgeon amazingly got all the cancer. Success.

Alongside this, I have been in therapy since November with a wonderful therapist and we are doing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing therapy). This therapy helps to process trauma that can get ‘stuck’ in the brain if not processed. That trauma can stem from childhood upwards- I was an anxious child from an early age even though I had a good childhood! I have also been through a lot due to my bipolar episodes and hospitalisations. So, I am working with my therapist to process memories and we are doing it slowly.

My therapist will either ‘tap’ on the side of my legs while I recall the memory to help process it or my eyes will follow a light or her finger as we process. Understandably, there has to be a lot of trust in this type of relationship as well as me being protected and not triggered by the therapy. For this, we have developed a ‘safe place’ memory that I go to when we bring up anything too distressing. We have just started to go deeper with this and I will update you with our progress. I am far less anxious than I was and it has been really helpful to build a positive, working relationship with my therapist.

The reason I started therapy was because I was having intense panic attacks and finding it difficult to manage my life due to it. I hope that by working on these triggers that I can react differently and live a healthier and better life. Stay tuned!

A month or so ago, I also went to see my psychiatrist for the first time in 2 years, mainly as I had worries about my weight and physical health. My medications means I have put on a substantial amount of weight and this is worrying me health wise more than anything. I have been advised to diet and exercise and maybe work with a nutritionist. So, this will also be a new journey and I will try my best with this, not easy as the meds may stop me losing weight due to slowing metabolism or encouraging cravings. We considered reducing my Quetaipine, a mood stabiliser and anti psychotic to help but because I have been more mentally stable, I have decided to keep it at the same dose for now.

Rob and I have also started to look at new homes, which has been good. There is a lot happening right now and important that I rest, look after myself and keep calm.

Life with bipolar disorder can be uncertain. I have some fears about the future, which I will talk about in another more detailed post. My medicines thankfully keep me mentally well, but coming off them for future life changes eg pregnancy could be a big risk for me and one I am not sure I should take due to being bipolar 1 (risk of mania and psychosis). This is not currently imminent, but is still a future fear, especially as I love children. A decision for a later date.

Overall though I am hopeful and excited about life and will keep you all updated with my therapy and health journey and news.

Thanks for reading and following Be Ur Own Light as we come up to our 4th anniversary,

With love,

Eleanor x

9 Years Undiagnosed: My Life with Bipolar Disorder, for Time to Talk Day: Guest blog by Mike Segall

February 6, 2020February 5, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 8 Comments

(image: Time to Change)

*Trigger warning: discusses thoughts of suicide and mania, please read with care *

This blog has been courageously written by my Dad, Mike, about his journey with bipolar disorder and the hurdles he faced in getting a diagnosis. For those of you who have read my book, you’ll know some of this. This is the first blog that Mike has written for us and I want to share it on today, Time to Talk Day by the charity Time to Change. So here is Mike’s story….

My experience of Bipolar 1 Disorder was that I was undiagnosed for 9 years. I was never sent to a psychiatrist and was put on the wrong medication (I hadn’t heard of mood stabilisers and seemingly neither had my doctor).

So- What is Bipolar Disorder? (formerly known as Manic Depression)

To me, Bipolar symbolises the two extreme poles of mood- mania and depression. The North Pole is Mania. Mania is wonderful for me- you think you can be anyone, you think you can do anything, achieve anything, You are flying. You think ‘why can’t everyone be like this and experience everything?’. You are much more uninhibited. You may shop more, you spend more money, You think you can FLY!

But you can’t fly and you fall, you fall off a cliff into varying degrees of deep, dark depression, which can last for months.

Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes periods of depression and periods of abnormally elevated mood, mania. The elevated mood is significant, known as mania or hypomania depending on its severity and whether symptoms of psychosis are present. Psychosis means when your mind lose touch with reality, with delusions or hallucinations.

During mania, someone feels abnormally, happy, energetic, irritable and not requiring sleep they often appear to be bouncing off the walls, starting new projects, trying to achieve too much. In some cases, addictions during mania may also present.

During depression, someone with bipolar disorder may be crying, experiencing negative thoughts and giving poor eye contact. You will notice this if you ever have a conversation with someone who is depressed. They may also be suicidal or talk about self harm.

My Story:

My first manic episode occurred in 1991 and I went to the doctor and was prescribed Valium (an anti anxiety calming medication), which was handed out like sweets in those days.

The Valium didn’t do me any harm but they certainly didn’t do me any good. In the next 9 years, I had three manic episodes followed by three increasingly devastating depressive and suicidal episodes, the last of which lasted 5 months.

In my first manic episode I was going out a lot late at night to clubs and bars and spending too much money. My second and third manic episodes were much more controlled as I recognized what was going on but I was still much more outgoing than usual and spending too much money.

My depressive episodes were serious and eventually suicidal and lasted 3, 4 and 5 months respectively. I often stood on the edge of a London Tube platform thinking about ending it all. I would drive down the motorway at speed not turning the corners until the last possible moment. I would stand in the bathroom with hands full of tablets thinking about overdosing and ending my life. Mostly, I was at home in bed doing nothing but sleeping , eating and surviving.

The person you would meet today is not the person you would have come across at that time.

Looking back there was no real connection made between these episodes and I wonder 1. Why I was never hospitalised and 2. Why I wasn’t diagnosed more quickly.

First of all, 30 years ago far less was known about Bipolar Disorder so the doctors weren’t quick to diagnose it. Secondly, it was only after 9 years that my GP reviewed my file and noticed that I had never been referred to a psychiatrist.

This was the breakthrough that changed and saved my life.

I went to The Priory hospital to see a psychiatrist, describing my episodes. Within 45 minutes I had a diagnosis,

”You have a mental illness. It has a name, It is Bipolar 1 Affective Disorder. You have it for life and it is treatable with the drug Lithium.”

Lithium balances out the chemical imbalance so you end up between the poles and mood is then stabilised. I am pleased to say that in the past 20 years, the medication has worked for me and has stabilised my bipolar disorder, so I no longer get episodes of mania or depression.

I am also pleased to say that as quite an emotional person I still experience the normal feelings and emotions that come with everyday life.

Starting on Lithium is not easy as you have to be weaned onto it. There are side effects, the most common being weight gain and you have to have regular blood tests to make sure the level of Lithium in your bloodstream is correct (non toxic) and it is not affecting your kidneys.

I do wish that I had been diagnosed earlier and not had to suffer manic and depressive episodes as I did.

These are the 4 takeaways I would like you to have from reading this, this Time to Talk Day:

1. With mental health it’s good to talk about it , It’s good to fight stigma and it’s good for your own healing.

My journey started in 1991 and I would hear things like ”you’ve got a weakness. Why don’t you pull yourself together?”, which were unhelpful

2. Think about how you can help people in your community by recognizing the signs that someone has depression or mania.

3. Live a positive life- I am an example of a bipolar sufferer who can maintain a positive life. Bipolar is an illness that needs treating. It is treated with medication but it can take time for the medication to be right as each person has individual brain chemistry.

4. Listen to those who are struggling. Most of us listen to reply. If you watch two people deep in a conversation or you are in one yourself your focus will be very much on the other person and you will be listening at 90%.

But if you are listening to understand and you are feeling and sharing their emotions then you are truly listening at 100%. Check out the Samaritans help line too.

(image: Mike Segall)

Mike Segall is a professional speaker and mental health advocate, sharing his lived experience with bipolar disorder to groups in the UK. He is also the father of the founder of this blog, Eleanor.

Talking for the Jami Mental Health Awareness Shabbat 2020 by Eleanor

February 3, 2020February 3, 2020 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 7 Comments

As some of you will be aware, back in 2017-2018, I helped as a volunteer with fellow volunteers (Lisa Coffman and others) to found the Mental Health Awareness Shabbat (Jewish sabbath) in our communities across the country here in the UK. The initiative, led by the mental health charity Jami and conceived by Rabbi Daniel Epstein, now runs in 150 Jewish communities.

This year, my dad Mike and I were delighted to be asked to share our father and daughter journey with bipolar disorder to Chigwell and Hainault Synagogue.

I have social anxiety- which includes at times a fear of public speaking. In December, I had a breakthrough, where I spoke for a short time at a conference called Limmud alongside my Dad and read from my book Bring me to Light. So, when we were asked to do this talk at Chigwell, I felt it could be possible.

I armed myself with the fact that I knew kind people in the community including the Rabbi and his wife and friends of my husband Rob (its the community he grew up in). I also wanted to share my story to help other people.

So, we stayed with a lovely lady in the community and had friday night dinner with the Rabbi and his family. On Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a little nervous but took my trusted anxiety medication for when I need it- Propranolol, and walked to the synagogue with Dad.

I managed not to have a panic attack and the thought of speaking to help others got me through (as did distraction, deep breathing and drinking a glass of water).

So, at the end of the service, we were called up to speak. Dad went first and talked about his journey with bipolar disorder from when it started for him in 1991 to finding recovery. Then, it was my turn.

I stood up there in the pulpit speaking to a packed audience with a prepared speech. I felt scared but also empowered and began to relax into the talk. I knew that by sharing what happened to me, being sectioned and so ill and talking openly, that I could break stigma and touch others. I was also so proud of my Dad for speaking so openly.

It was only after, when talking to people after the service, that we realised that about 150 people came to listen to our talk! We had some important conversations with people after our talk including someone very newly diagnosed and someone else whose niece had bipolar and is currently very ill.

I couldn’t and still can’t believe I was able to do that. However, since I have been very tired so trying to de-stress and rest as much as I can!

We just want to thank everyone who came to hear our talk and supported us, to every person who thanked us for coming and shared their stories with us. We are so grateful for such a positive reception and thank Rabbi Davis and the Chigwell community for having us.

The Mental Health Awareness Shabbat has had events in communities all across the country. It runs yearly and you can find out more here

When Therapy Isn’t Enough–How to Handle Physical and Mental Health Issues: Guest post by Brooke Chaplan

January 31, 2020March 17, 2026 ~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

Therapy is the first line option that most people choose when they are dealing with a mental health issue. While therapy is undeniably important, many people struggle with it, even giving up if they feel it isn’t meeting their needs. This isn’t because therapy isn’t important, but because therapy can only do so much when you are physically and financially in situations where you have no power to make lasting change in your life. Dealing with chronic pain and other physical issues can leave you worn out mentally as well, and learning how to deal with both physical and mental issues at the same time is the best way to find relief. True wellness must come from understanding and addressing physical and mental concerns together.

Understand the Connection Between Physical and Mental Health Issues

Chronic pain is exhausting to deal with on a daily basis. Over time, dealing with your pain and the loss of your normal activities can cause you to feel depressed and even anxious about your future. People often develop anxiety about their pain, especially when it seems to worsen without warning and at the worst possible times. Your mental health can also make pain worse. For instance, dealing with PTSD or anxiety causes tension within your body that affects the muscles. It is the same reason why people find that their shoulders ache after a long and stressful day. Understanding this connection will help you to articulate just why you are feeling the way you are, and allow you to talk to both mental health and physical therapists about your unique situation in ways that will let them best help you.

Choose a Program That Focuses on Your Mind and Body

Injuries that leave you unable to do many physical activities, such as spinal or leg injuries, have an impact both on your body and your mind. The best type of back pain treatment involves helping both your mind and body to heal. While you may participate in special exercises and other forms of therapy for your back, you’ll also receive counseling and support that helps you to feel better mentally. For instance, identifying mental health issues that require treatment can help you to learn techniques that help you to avoid focusing on the pain. Meditation and mindfulness are two solutions that often work well with traditional back pain strategies.

Commit to Following the Program

As with any type of therapy, your involvement makes a big difference in the outcome. Although you may feel depressed and in pain, you need to commit to working through it all. Choosing to show up for your treatment even on a bad day helps you to make continuous progress. It might not happen all at once, but you’ll soon begin to see how your treatment plan is working. Committing to physical (physio) therapy programs has also been shown to have positive impact on your ability to handle mental challenges. Remember, you may see your body and mind as two separate things, but your body interprets them both together.

Take Steps to Reduce Stress in Your Life

This is the time to take care of yourself. Take a time out from stressful activities so that you can focus on the treatment. You can also use relaxation strategies to help stop stress from affecting your physical health such as using deep breathing to work through an anxiety attack.

Your mind and body are connected, and you’ll find that each one influences the other. When one type of therapy isn’t enough, it is time to explore new options. Continuing to work on improving both your physical and mental health helps you manage pain and regain control over your life.