What I am Loving this Autumn- The Midnight Library Book Review (Matt Haig) by Eleanor

(image: Charlotte Greaves/Twitter and Book by Matt Haig)

Today here in England has felt chilly, windy and cooler than the heatwave of a few months back. Its only the 1st September but there is that back to work. and school feeling, but also a feeling of cosiness.

I love this time of year. I never used to, with it getting darker earlier, but now I love the cosiness of Autumn- reading a good book, watching a good movie and snuggling under blankets with hot chocolate.

I normally use this to give updates on my mental health and write about how I am getting on. The truth is, I have been anxious at times and dealing with panic from time to time, so I have restarted therapy. However, so much of life is appreciating the good things so heres what I am loving..

You all know i love to read! I found this book online- I loved Matt Haigs book Reasons to Stay Alive, where he discusses his own depression. Its a book that has complete honesty and I found the same for his novel The Midnight Library.

The Midnight Library- a novel by Matt Haig

(image: Box Tree Gift/ Publisher)

I had been a bit late to read this (it came out last year) but the book touched me so much! Its about Nora Seed, whose life unravels to the point where she begins to feel suicidal and wants to end her life. I won’t ruin the book but she ends up in a spiritual/ fictional library with her trusted school librarian Mrs Elm and she is able to try on parallel lives- What if she had married someone? Had children? had a different career? become famous? What if she had said or something different- what if her life choices led her to different events or people?

We follow Nora on her journey of self discovery and as she navigates her own life, mental health issues, and overcoming her challenges. She is guided by Mrs Elm and the whirring library of lives she finds herself in- which includes the ‘Book of Regrets.’

This book speaks to me on so many levels. My favourite quote is this,

‘The paradox of volcanoes is that they were symbols of destruction but also life. ..She wasn’t a black hole, she decided. She was a volcano. And like a volcano, she couldn’t run away from herself…she’d have to stay there and tend to that wasteland. She could plant a forest inside herself.‘- Matt Haig

Matt Haigs writing is so beautiful- and I think this book will be turned into a movie. I recommend it if you are feeling well (as it does talk about suicidal ideation, which could be triggering). Its a wonderful book and completely unique.

The library metaphor and parallel universe theory pervade throughout. Although I am useless at Physics, its an interesting theory that there could be parallel lives or universes.

I recommend this to those who wish to be inspired- its just a really exceptional piece of writing and it will touch many hearts.

Note: This is not a paid ad for the Midnight Library- I just read it and loved it so much!

Autumn leaves and Mental Health tales. (by founder Eleanor)

autumnhyg

(image: http://www.thechakrahouse.co.uk/chakra-hygge-fairy-lights/)

I wanted to write this blog today because I have been reflecting. Over the years, I have come to really love the Autumn (Fall) season, despite being born in summer. Its cosy and calming at times, however these months can bring on some anxiety again for me.

I think that we are all human and are affected by the changing seasons. I know that my bipolar goes in phases, but is largely controlled and stabilised by medicines. However, sometimes hormones can make me feel lower at times of the month or life events can make you feel a bit sadder than normal, and in some cases, provoke depression.

My anxiety arrives in the form of morning panic and I can find it harder to do certain tasks. However, I am lucky that I am not depressed currently but the anxious thoughts are getting worse again.

I will worry about being around crowds, travelling far or socialising en masse with people I havn’t seen for a while. I live within a community where we all gather together for religious festivals and it can be harder to do this when I am more anxious. I particularly find early mornings hard- and don’t want to leave the house before 10am usually!

Working from home is both a blessing as I can work my own hours but I go out less. I am really trying to work on going out more- even down the road, especially before it gets too cold and dark.

Despite the increase in anxiety in the past few days, I am feeling thankful. There are so many good things to look forward to. There are so many exciting projects I can be a part of. When one door closes, I know that another will open.

I am still writing my book, still running my blog and have some articles being published soon. I also do social media management. I hope that my career will continue to diversify and bring joy.  I also need stability and the life of a freelancer, though fulfilling at times, is never easy.

There is a lot to be grateful for- family and friends, my fiance and life- despite the fears, anxiety and catastrophising that I do at times and am trying to limit. Positive mindset is so important- I am working on it!

Autumn can make us feel sadder or more anxious, or cause other mental health symptoms.  However, like now, it can also feel comforting- as I write on my computer, sipping a cup of tea as the darkness is falling. (Is it too new age of me to use the word ‘hygge’)?

As the leaves begin to fall and the frosts come its so important we find our lights in the darkness.

How are you doing? Let me know below!

Love,

Eleanor