Tag: Dating

Create More Fulfilling Relationships By Following The Law Of Attraction by Dr Hannah Yang

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

(image: Priscilla Du Preez: Unsplash)

While there are many people perfectly happy with staying single, a good majority of people have the common desire to find that special someone with whom they can navigate life’s journey. Having a companion you trust who can help provide support, comfort, and love can be incredibly motivating and help many people get through the variety of obstacles that life throws their way.

However, finding and maintaining this type of positive connection can often be challenging. This is where the Law of Attraction can be helpful to understand. This provides valuable information about the dynamics of different types of relationships and helps individuals better understand why some connections in life tend to thrive while others fall short. 

By applying certain principles outlined in the Law of Attraction, it can be easier to create more fulfilling and mutually beneficial relationships in our lives.

How Does the Law of Attraction Apply in Relationships?

The Law of Attraction is a concept that suggests that the energy we put out into the world is the same kind of energy we attract back. Basically, the more positive of a person you are, the more likely you are to get better outcomes in all areas of life – including the relationships you’re a part of.

Our personality and mindset, including the things that drive us, our individual beliefs, and our emotional states, can all act like a magnet, drawing in people who resonate with those same qualities. This means the kind of relationships we want to have in life can also be influenced by the energy we project.

The Law of Attraction encourages us to have a more receptive attitude toward building healthy relationships. This is achieved by aligning our desires with our actions and the energy we express. When this is done, we become more open to new connections and opportunities for love and fulfillment in our lives, even if they may feel like a leap of faith.

Being Upfront About What You Need in a Relationship

Before you’re able to apply different principles of the Law of Attraction, you need to know what you really want in a romantic relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in superficial aspects like wanting to be with someone with good looks or who makes a decent income. However, it’s much more important to focus on the deeper qualities of your ideal partner first.

To help achieve this, there are some key aspects you should consider:

  • Their Shared Values – The person you’re with should complement your own shared values or core beliefs. You’ll want to think about any essential traits that matter most to you, such as honesty, patience, compassion, or a willingness to forgive. All of these values can form the foundation of a strong and lasting connection.
  • Your Emotional Needs – While financial security is important, your emotional security is what will really contribute to more happiness in a relationship. Consider what being emotionally safe means to you. Maybe this means you need a partner who is more expressive, reassuring, or a good listener. Whatever they are, understanding your emotional needs will help point you in the direction of someone who can fulfill them.
  • Finding Common Interests – A fulfilling relationship often involves being with someone who has shared interests or life experiences. Think about the activities you enjoy and the kind of lifestyle you picture for your future. Finding someone with compatible interests can lead to a more enjoyable life and a strong connection with your partner.

Aligning Your Energy With Your Partner

After you’ve thought carefully about what your ideal partner looks like (inside and out), it’s important to consider how you can start to build the same traits within yourself. This isn’t about trying to be something you’re not but rather recognising how the energy you put out can express what you’re looking for.

For example, if you want a partner who is compassionate and empathetic, consider how you can show more kindness to those around you and practice self-compassion. If you’re hoping for someone lighthearted and fun-loving, look for ways to bring more joy and laughter into your own life and the lives of others.

The Law of Attraction is about recognising the emotions you want and understanding that to attract the type of love you want in life, you first need to express it in different ways.

(image: Mandy Von Stahl: Unsplash)

Accepting and Giving Love

It can be difficult when you’re wanting to be with someone, but you just haven’t felt that spark yet. But instead of dwelling on feelings of loneliness, think about ways that you can express gratitude for the love already present in your life. Try not to take the bonds you have for granted with your supportive friends and loving family members. Nurturing these connections creates a positive ripple effect, which can radiate outwards and signal your openness to receiving even more love from others.

Affirmations are another way to help manifest more love in your life and the relationships you have. Telling yourself these short but powerful statements helps to reinforce your worthiness and attract the right person into your life. Repeating affirmations like “I am deserving of love” or “I will find my perfect match” can help give you a more profound sense of self-love and help you stay patient.

Be Willing to Take Action

While patience is a virtue when looking for a life partner, the Law of Attraction doesn’t mean you need to maintain a passive attitude. It actually encourages you to take more proactive steps when finding new sources of joy and fulfillment.

Don’t be afraid to embrace new opportunities to align your life and relationships with any of your aspirations. This could involve joining a social club, exploring different dating apps, or engage in activities that help you to broaden your social circles. Trust your instincts and be open to connecting with new individuals.

Start Building Stronger Relationships

By leveraging the power of the Law of Attraction, you can start to manifest more meaningful relationships in your life that help you to be a better person. Remember to prioritise your well-being while expressing your authentic self and the qualities you’re really looking for in a partner. These actions will help to signal to anyone around you that you are ready for and deserving of receiving more love.

About Dr Yang:

Visionary and healthcare entrepreneur by passion, Licensed Psychologist by training, Dr. Hannah Yang loves creating new possibilities in the world of mental health and wellness. Dr. Yang established Balanced Awakening in 2015 as a niche psychotherapy practice for women. As Balanced Awakening flourishes in Chicago, and soon Miami, she also loves to tap into her passion for design and Feng Shui to create fabulous environments for herself, her team, and clients.

Love and Remission by Annie Belasco: Book review

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

loveandremission

(image: Trigger Publishing and Annie Belasco)

I only tend to review books that make an impact on me and that really touch my heart.

I ordered Annie’s book ‘Love and Remission’ , about her life recovering from breast cancer in her twenties and finding the love of her life. Annie and I have been connected on Twitter and she is signed to the same publisher as me so I was super excited to read her inspirational story.

When reading, I found a person of immense strength and an amazing sense of humour. Annie was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer aged just 25 years old. Her entire life was falling apart but she found a way through treatment, through the chemotherapy and radiotherapy-to put it back together. She describes what it was like for her to lose her hair and buy wigs, and to go through a masectomy and trying to feel womanly again- which she succeeded in doing. She was scared that the treatment wouldn’t work but she is now incredibly,  in remission.

Annie also had mental health issues due to the trauma but talks about how she slowly overcame her anxiety to live again.

The ‘love’ part in the title refers to her now husband, who she met while undergoing treatment and who stood by her against all the odds.

I don’t want to reveal any more than that- but this book was so inspiring, so moving, so well written that I read it in just two days!

I really recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about cancer and mental health whilst being a young woman. Annies story truly blew me away- with her strength, courage and unique take on life- she is so fun loving- and really loves her friends and family.

I was so touched by this book and her story. Thank you for writing it.

 

(You can buy the book now by Trigger on Amazon and in bookstores).

How Love Island helps my mental health.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 8 Comments

I first discovered the reality dating show Love Island back in 2016, when it returned for its second series.

At first, I didn’t expect a great amount of entertainment, but what I found is that among the frivolity and fake tans, there’s a wonderful exploration of human relationships. Each night at 9pm, you can lose yourself in the dating lives of others.

I suffer from anxiety and have bipolar disorder, and this element of escapism has helped with my mental health issues.

In the past I’ve suffered from panic attacks linked to social anxiety and, at times, stress in the workplace. A distracting outlet like Love Island allows me to shake off the adrenaline highs and the depressive lows that follow.

Instead of feeling anxious or having negative thoughts swirling around in my brain, I can watch Love Island and occupy my mind, while also connecting with other fans online.

Whether its watching someone get ‘pied off’ (rejected) or couples getting together, there is always something going on.

That’s what makes Love Island so addictive and calming, I often feel less anxious once I’ve watched an episode.

There are many humourous elements on the show including bromances (last years one between Kem and Chris and their rapping was a sight to behold) and people form tight friendship groups and attachments very quickly.

Instead of thinking about my daily worries, I’m wondering what’s going on in the contestants’ lives. Whether like last year we followed the ups and downs of Chris and Olivia, or Camilla finally finding her man, watching them build relationships, go on dates and play games is truly fascinating.

Of course, escapism doesn’t replace the support you get from a doctor, counsellor or family and friends.

While personally I’ve had a positive experience watching Love Island, the show has been criticised for exacerbating mental health issues for viewers and for its contestants, too.

Where vulnerability is concerned, all reality TV can influence people, for good or for bad,’ explains Jo Hemmings, a behavioural media and celebrity psychologist.

‘While it is very often real people in real time, it isn’t in fact a reflection of true reality at all and so it’s important to distinguish that what we are watching is a made-for-entertainment TV series, which may or may not bear any similarity to real life as we live it.

‘My advice would be if it brings you pleasure, enjoy it – but if it makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, it’s best to watch something else.

‘The Love Island contestants are well-cared for psychologically – assessed before the show and supported throughout. As a reality TV series, it is known for a few enduring relationships and friendships, so again I think they are treated with care and compassion off screen.’

At times, the show promotes a body image that can feel unrealistic, especially for someone like myself, having had a lot of therapy to improve my self-esteem.

Due to the perfect body image presented in can impact peoples self esteem especially if they have an eating disorder.

I asked my Twitter followers whether Love Island was good for our mental health? The most striking issue they presented to me was body image.

Edward Clements  ‘ I can see how it will maybe affect people who are less confident with their body image and cause them to feel worse. This is mainly because most of the men are always shirt less and very fit’.

Sarah T ‘Definitely makes me body check & compare myself to girls on programme. I wouldnt want to eat whilst watching. I am in a good place at the moment in terms of my eating disorder but if I wasn’t could be triggering. The show encourages placing value of the person in the way they look rather than their personality values too.’

So, body image is a real concern for many watching the show. This state of perfection promotes a negative body image and could harm self esteem.

Ben Edwards, relationship coach and self confidence expert agrees with this,

‘Reality TV shows like Love Island can of course affect our mental health both positively or negatively. Some people may find that this reignites their belief in love as unlikely couples find romance on screen, providing hope. Reality TV does not always reflect reality. It  might seem like harmless, light entertainment, we often compare ourselves because we feel something is missing. Confide in a loved one or seek professional advice if needed.’

The Love Island team said to us in a statement,
‘The duty of care towards all of our Islanders is always of paramount importance. Our islanders have ongoing access to an on site psychologist as well as show producers should they need it.’

I can’t wait for the next eight weeks of Love Island 2018.

It brings me joy each summer and I hope it will for you, too.

With thanks to Jo Hemmings, Ben Edwards, Love Island Press Team, Edward Clements and Sarah Tayleur for their expert comments.

Dating with a Mental Illness: for Glamourmagazine.co.uk by our founder Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 19 Comments

Here is an extract from an article I wrote for Glamour UK Magazine (online) which was a dream come true. It is my true story about what dating with bipolar and social anxiety is like. I hope it helps you. For full article see link at the end:

glamour
(image: from stock and Glamour)

According to the mental health charity, Mind, 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. In England alone, 1 in 6 people report experiencing depression or anxiety every single week. Eleanor Segall is one of those six, having lived with bipolar disorder for 13 years. Here, she shares her candid account of what so many millennials struggle with every single day: finding love while secretly battling a mental health disorder. Eleanor reveals in honest detail the judgement she faced in her quest for “The One” and how she finally learnt to open up about the taboo illness and let herself fall in love.

“I sat on my bed with tears running down my face. ‘I have something to tell you’, I said to my boyfriend, two months into dating.

“It isn’t easy and I wanted to tell you sooner but I didn’t want to share it too soon. Three years ago, I was hospitalised for my bipolar disorder. I didn’t want to tell you, in case you saw me differently or thought I was ‘crazy’. I wanted you to get to know me for me and see my personality and who I really am without it.”

He looked at me with genuine care and said, “Eleanor it doesn’t matter. I want to be with you for you, the fact you have an illness doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I want to be educated on it. Tell me more.”

So, for two hours, I told him everything. I told him how I had been diagnosed at 16 with bipolar affective disorder and how it may run in my family. I told him there could be times when I would be unwell with severe depression or mania and would have to stop working, that I had had psychosis in the past – but that I was medicated with Lithium and anti depressants to hold my moods.

I told him I had been hospitalised as a teenager and, at aged 25, my life had been far from easy, but that the love of my family and support from my medical team, had saved my life. He listened, supported and held no stigma towards me or my illness. It was a revelation after many years of dating men that may not have always understood how best to support me or for whom I was not ‘the one’.

With disclosure of a mental health condition and because I was diagnosed so young, there were many years of dating fear for me. I feared others judgement of the fact I had bipolar and at times this turned into anxiety prior to going on dates.

I was worried that people would think I was different or not worthy enough and when I look back, that is because I was struggling to deal with how I saw myself. As a teenager, you don’t want to be different, you want to fit in and as I reached my early 20’s, I began to be very anxious about dating. My self esteem had taken a battering as well as I had had my heart broken in a past relationship, which led to depression and anxiety.

I survived the heartbreak, however, I knew that I wanted to settle down with someone and have a family, but I didn’t know if it would ever be possible. Particularly after I was in hospital, I had no idea whether there would be a man who could deal with my illness and all it can entail.

There were so many times when I cancelled dates (often blind ones set up through well meaning friends or family) because I would get so nervous, my heart would race and I would be terrified that they would see through the well cultivated veneer. On first and second dates particularly I always felt I was hiding something: my mental health past.

But I wasn’t alone. According to the mental health charity, Mind, 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. In England alone, 1 in 6 people report experiencing depression or anxiety each week.

Celebrities including Stephen Fry, Britney Spears, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Demi Lovato have all talked about their struggles with bipolar disorder.

A year and a half after I left hospital and had recovered, I began to date again and signed up to an online dating website to meet new people, set up through acquaintances. The social anxiety was at its height and I often had to cancel dates two or three times before meeting. Some men gave up on me due to this, but some understood.

A year and a half after being fully back on the dating scene, I met my current boyfriend. We clicked from our first date in a coffee shop and our second date (drinks at a lovely local pub).

Read more and full article here: http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/dating-with-a-mental-illness