How To Navigate A Divorce And Preserve Your Mental Wellbeing by Dixie Somers

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Divorce can be a difficult and emotionally draining experience. It can be especially challenging to maintain mental health while dealing with the stress of ending a marriage. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to help preserve your mental health during this difficult time. Let’s explore some effective ways to cope and keep yourself healthy during your divorce.

Find Supportive People To Talk To

It’s important to have people in your life who understand what you’re going through, who will listen without judgement, and who will offer advice when asked. These people could include family, friends, a therapist, a reliable divorce attorney, or even an online support group for divorcees. Reaching out to supportive people is a great way to process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions as it relates to the divorce. Even if these people don’t necessarily give you advice on how to handle the situation, just being able to vent and talk things through can make all the difference in terms of keeping your mental health in check.

Practice Self-Care & Self-Compassion

Divorce is often accompanied by feelings of guilt or shame that can take their toll on mental health if not addressed properly. To combat these negative emotions, it’s important to practise self-care and self-compassion. This means taking care of yourself by getting enough rest, eating healthy meals regularly, exercising regularly (which releases endorphins that help you feel better), spending quality time with friends and family who are supportive of you—anything that helps bring joy into your life!

Additionally, try reminding yourself that it takes two people for a relationship to work and that only one person should not be blamed for its failure. It is also ok to feel sad; it’s natural when going through such difficult times so allow yourself some moments of sadness but don’t forget the importance of self-care.

Allow Yourself Time To Heal

Give yourself permission to heal in whatever way works best for you without feeling guilty about it. Everyone processes events differently so try not rush into any new relationships or commitments until you feel ready; instead focus on healing first as this will allow you to create healthier connections moving forward. Furthermore recognise that this is an opportunity for personal growth; although painful at times growth requires challenge which is exactly what divorce provides! Allowing yourself time for healing enables the chance for true transformation which may lead you down paths unknown before now.

Don’t Rush It

An important part of navigating a divorce is not rushing into a new relationship until you are truly ready. Taking the time to heal and focus on yourself can help ensure that any future relationships will be healthier and more fulfilling. It’s natural to feel lonely after ending a marriage but it’s important to remember that entering a new relationship too soon can potentially do more harm than good. Allow yourself time to process the emotions and experiences of your marriage while also allowing yourself to heal before embarking on a new relationship.

This will help make sure that any future connections are healthier and happier for everyone involved. Ultimately, taking the time to focus on yourself during this difficult period can lead to more meaningful connections in the future.

Divorce can be an incredibly difficult experience but maintaining good mental health throughout this transition is vital. By finding supportive people to talk with, practising self-care and self-compassion, and allowing yourself time to heal—you can get through it while still preserving your mental wellbeing along the way.

Don’t forget—divorce isn’t easy but with proper support it doesn’t have to be devastating either! With small steps each day towards healing you’ll soon find yourself back on track towards living fully again!

Dixie Somers is a freelance writer

How To Stay Emotionally Healthy During A Divorce: by Lizzie Weakley

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When you are in the midst of getting divorced, you may be surprised at just how much it will drain you emotionally. Whether you have been married only a short period of time or perhaps for decades, knowing you will soon be divorced can be a scary thought that may leave you very depressed, which can result in you making poor decisions as your divorce moves forward. If you want to emerge from your divorce with some emotional health, here are some steps you should take along the way.

Don’t Stay Isolated

As your divorce process moves forward, don’t make the mistake of staying isolated. Instead, stay in touch with your family and friends. If your social network is now cut in half due to your divorce, make new friends by perhaps attending church/synagogue or learning a new hobby- whatever feels right for you.

Don’t Blame Yourself

When couples divorce, it is not unusual for one spouse to blame themselves for the marriage breaking up. Even though there is usually fault to be found on both sides in most divorces, this does not mean you should continually beat yourself up emotionally day after day about your marriage ending. Instead, you need to accept that it happened, plan your future, and try to move forward as best you can. You should reach for support if you need it.

Write Down Your Thoughts

During your divorce, you will be having plenty of meetings with your divorce lawyers and others as well. Needless to say, you may feel a bit drained at the end of the day. If you have plenty of thoughts running through your mind, take some time to write them down in a journal. By having the chance to express your innermost thoughts in this manner, it can be a great way to relieve stress and keep your emotions in balance. Another option would be to talk about your feelings with a therapist when you are ready.

Take Care of Yourself

Last but not least, taking care of yourself physically will play a big role in keeping you feeling ok emotionally. Therefore, you should eat healthily, exercise regularly, and treat yourself to something special now and then, such as dinner at your favourite restaurant, a relaxing vacation, or getting pampered at a day spa. By doing so, you will find many things that were eating away at you will suddenly not seem nearly as important. Self care is vital in the aftermath of a relationship breakdown.

Though you may wonder what the future will hold for you after your divorce is final, looking after yourself and your mental health will pave the way for a new chapter in your life.

Lizzie Weakley is a freelance writer, based in the USA.

Feeling Lost? Ease the burden by Handling your Divorce and your Mental Health: by Brooke Chaplan

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Events in 2020 put a great deal of pressure on relationships and many marriages didn’t survive. If yours is folding or has already collapsed, do your best to treat yourself and your former spouse as fairly as possible. Focus on the safety and security of all, and make sure to give children the most caring and logical structure possible.

Prioritise Safety First

If either adult in the relationship is abusive in any form, including physically, financially, sexually, or emotionally, the first step must be to get them out of the house. Even if they continue to choose that behaviour, getting them out of the space where your children live will reduce the risk of further damage. Additionally, counselling for all parties should be sought.

The abuser may resist therapy. Talk to a family law specialist about supervised visits if they refuse to seek counselling.

If you can create an abuse-free space as a couple, you have a chance of handling your divorce as fairly as possible. Divorces can be emotionally draining for everyone involved, so it is important to control the situation in order to prevent potential problems in the future.

Be Smart About the Money

Too often, angry people set out to financially sabotage their ex. Ultimately this serves nobody, especially if you have dependent children in the household. To get to a better place in your mind and heart about this, you and your spouse may need to sit down and put together a budget for two households.

If you can’t make the numbers work on paper, you may need to make a different choice. For example, perhaps you could move into separate rooms and continue to maintain one household for a time. This isn’t ideal, but it can make it possible to avoid conflict while you make financial adjustments. It can also prevent the spread of your family’s environmental impact. Of course, you should not agree to any ideas that you are not comfortable with. Reaching an agreement that you are satisfied with will help make it easier to move on emotionally.

Stay Friendly

It’s hard not to resent your spouse as you work through the divorce process. This unfriendliness can force your loved ones to take sides. If you need to vent with a friend or talk to a therapist, do so. Having someone to talk to during your divorce can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed. However, forcing family and friends to take sides in your battle will probably not be healthy for any of you in the long run.

Divorce can be the toughest decision you’ll ever make. However, it can also be one of the best choices for you and your children. Be smart and do your best to keep your and your children’s best interests in mind.

This blog was written by Brooke Chaplan, freelance writer and regular contributor

Developing a Newfound Confidence in Yourself this Festive Season.


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It’s okay to need to spend some time renewing your confidence now and then. Confidence is often seen as a brick wall that stands the test of time once it’s built, but often, it’s more like a flame, one that must be fed, and felt with quality fuel, in order to keep going. Even the strongest and most audacious people on Earth can be knocked back by life, and they regularly are. This is humbling, because it shows that no matter how good things are, we can always find struggle. However, this also shows an opposite and no less important truth, that no matter how bad things are, we can always improve and come to love ourselves again, building that confidence necessary to moving forward.

This is the essential principle shown by the famous symbol of the yin-yang, the white has a little black in it, and the black a little white. So – if confidence is more of a fire to be kindled than a wall to be built, how can we re-fuel it? Let’s consider that, below:

Finding New Opportunities

It can be worthwhile to find new opportunities in life, even if they’re self-directed, and even if they come straight after an intense experience such as a life setback, trauma, bereavement or a divorce settlement. Taking stock of what your new situation means, how you can use it to your benefit, and what exactly it is that you want can help you move forward with confidence, resilience and a patience that not everyone has. The primary thought to keep in mind is this – new opportunities are always there. You just have to dig for them.

Going For Gold

Going for gold is important, once you have your opportunities or ideals prioritised. It might be that you invest completely in a new hobby or practice, or that you do something you’ve always wanted- a dream, travelling to a new place or something you’d never do normally such as getting a new tattoo. Going for gold- making things a reality , can also help you feel expansive, generating your purpose from one day to the next. No matter if this is getting back in the dating scene, trying to go for a new job, or finally enjoying your freedom, don’t forget to go for gold.

Being Unapologetic

It’s important to be unapologetic about who you are. Why is this? Well, what do you have to apologise for? Your sense of style? Your sexual orientation? Your dreams and desires? Absolutely not, and actually, you should take complete and total pride in these things. This is what makes you, even if, as an individual, you are more than these designated labels. Being unapologetic helps you realize that you have dignity too, and that you’re worth expressing it. Having that mindset can help you curate your best attitude, which may or may not help you become a better, less bitter and more empathetic person. We all need to learn this lesson in life. It’s good to learn it now.

We hope you can develop that newfound confidence in yourself you truly deserve.


This article was written by a freelance writer

How to reduce Stress and maintain Mental health during a Divorce: Guest blog by Luci Larkin at Woolley&Co

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Going through a divorce or relationship breakdown can be one of the most stressful situations a person can find themselves in. You lose your friend, partner, confidante and have to adapt to living as a single person, often as the primary carer of children. 

This is a time of extreme and mixed emotions made more complicated by the stresses and worries of legal and financial considerations as well as having to support and counsel any children that may be involved and suffering too.

With mental health problems on the rise and divorce being listed as one of the leading contributors, Luci Larkin from Family Law Solicitors, Woolley & Co, explains how you can reduce stress during such a turbulent time in your life.

“If you have decided your marriage is over you will most probably want to make the whole process of divorce as painless as possible. Contrary to public perception not all divorces have to involve outright war leaving a trail of destruction and despair.

Every individual going through a relationship breakdown will deal with this in their own way. Some prefer to carry on as though nothing has happened, others find it cathartic to talk to someone about their problems.”

It’s fair to say that anyone going through a separation or divorce is going to experience a series of emotional stages post-breakdown. These could range from anger and depression to fear and frustration. All perfectly normal feelings and reactions to an emotionally difficult situation. It’s important to recognise these feelings but to try and stay positive. 

Sometimes the support of friends and family is enough to see a person through, others may need more help such as counselling or medical advice.

With the right divorce lawyer you should be able to resolve a divorce sensibly enabling you and your children to move on with your lives in the most amicable and constructive way.” 

So what is the secret? 

Divorce lawyers’ tips for a less stressful divorce

Luci explains, “As tempting as it is to take advice from your best friend or the “know it all guy” in the pub it’s really important to seek proper professional advice. Couple this with my 5 tips below:

 

  1. Talk to a family lawyer who is ideally a member of Resolution committed to resolving disputes in a non-confrontational way.
  2. Listen to the professional advice given to you and try to act upon it. Always negotiate before you litigate. Compromise is the essence of any agreement.
  3. Inevitably there will be disagreements with your spouse but try to keep emotions under control and avoid verbal abuse and threats. This will simply lead to them becoming difficult and inflexible. You do not want a war.
  4. Try to avoid involving the children or using them as a pawn. They are innocent in this situation and they will need the love and support of both parents. Ideally sit down and agree a parenting plan.
  5. Think about timing. You may have been thinking about a divorce for years whereas your partner may only have received the news a matter of weeks ago. Expecting your spouse to discuss future living arrangements at a time when they are still reeling from the news that you want to end the marriage, may be unrealistic. You might have to slow down for a while, be patient, and wait until they are ready to move things forward.”

Whilst getting a divorce is clearly not an ideal situation it does not have to be a time consuming, stressful, unpleasant money pit.

Sensible advice coupled with calm cooperation can help to ensure the experience is as painless and cost effective as possible but more importantly that you and your children can move forward with your lives in the best possible way.

Luci is an experienced and approachable divorce and family solicitor with Woolley & Co, based in Barnet, Greater London.  Her working mantra is to establish what clients want and move towards achieving that outcome as quickly and as cost-effectively as possible. 

 

Top Tips for avoiding a Christmas Relationships Crisis: Guest blog by Brookman

 

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Christmas is meant to be a joyous time of the year and an opportunity to spend quality time with friends and family, but unfortunately, it can also be one of the most stressful. For some, the biggest worry they will encounter is whether they’ve overcooked the turkey, but for others, far deeper problems are magnified around this time in terms of finances, family tensions and even relationship breakdowns or divorce.

Avoiding the Subject?

For many, the easiest solution at the time is just to put the problem to the back of their mind and focus on the present. In fact, in a survey of 1016 married individuals conducted by Brookman International Divorce Solicitors, 64% of respondents revealed they have put off a major decision because they felt it was ‘not the right time’ to deal with it. One third felt that the New Year was a good time to make a fresh start or major life decision, with ending a relationship or asking for divorce being the most popular major decisions to withhold. Whilst this may seem a temporary solution, avoiding the problem only prolongs the suffering and could lead to a frosty atmosphere over the festive period.

Worrying thoughts at any time of year can cause stress, but they can be particularly troublesome at Christmas, when you’re having to juggle shopping for presents, go to events and balance the interests of lots of different people. The people closest to you will notice the changes in your behaviour, even if they don’t actually know what the underlying cause is.

Left for too long, this build up of stress and tension could reach breaking point and lead to heated arguments and upset. It could even put your mental health at risk. No one wants an explosive argument over the Christmas dinner, so, here’s a few tips to help avoid a Christmas Crisis.

 

  1. Talk to someone – Speaking to someone close to you about your worries is a great place to start, even if you don’t feel ready to address the person causing the stress directly. Be sure it’s someone you can trust and who will be honest with you. When it comes to a big decision, you don’t want someone beating around the bush, or telling the world about it either!
  2. Nip it in the bud – Whatever the problem is, talk to your partner about it as soon as you feel able to. Whilst the discussion might be difficult, you will feel an immense sense of relief once you have got the issue off your chest. It may be that your partner feels the same way, or has a solution which could result in a better outcome for both of you. Until you speak about it, you simply won’t know.
  3. Focus on yourself – it may seem selfish, but ultimately, you have to make decisions based on your own happiness. If you are constantly making compromises to make others happy, then you’ll always be in conflict. A Christmas full of atmosphere, tension and cold shoulders is no fun for anyone, and actually tackling the problem outright, even if it means a major change is on the horizon, can make the transition far easier for everyone to manage.
  4. Forgive yourself – Decisions which are one-sided can often leave the perpetrator feeling an immense sense of guilt, but it is important to be kind and forgiving to yourself. Sometimes people don’t agree, have different perspectives, or reach a different stage of their lives where priorities change. Understanding that life is a journey and that we all have our own paths to take can help to put the current situation into perspective.

 

Following these key steps will help you to deal with difficult decisions quickly, effectively and with the best intentions.

In the Brookman survey, 74% of people said they felt instant relief once they had made a decision, be that dealing with the core issue, or simply booking an appointment to get some advice. The important part is taking steps to address the situation so that you don’t feel like it is spiralling out of control.

Whether you decide to end a relationship or not, make sure you make informed decisions that are right for you.

This guest post was written by Brookman International Divorce Solicitors.

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