How to Cope with Challenging Life Events: Top 4

(image: Andrea Piacquadio – Pexels)

Life is filled with many extraordinary moments that can fill your heart with joy and warmth – there is so much to look forward to and hope for. Throughout life, you will experience many of these life changing events; such as falling in love, landing the job you’ve worked tirelessly for, getting that breakthrough you needed in order to make a success of something – but, sometimes something will happen that is less joyous and more painful; these are challenging times and are a real pain to experience in one’s life.

It is a sad but inevitable part of life. Like a rollercoaster going up and down, making loops and causing your heart to soar with glee, every once in a while, the rollercoaster will tip over the highest point on its way to rush down and, for a brief moment, you’ll maybe feel as if you’re going to die. This is what grief and loss feel like – a pain that is so all-encompassing and overwhelming, you feel as if your body can literally not stand it. But, every single time the rollercoaster has flung you from one side to the other, it stops at the drop off point and lets you off to continue with your life.

The key, therefore, is being able to hold on until the rollercoaster, which is your challenging life event, lets you off the hook. That said, here are four challenging life events that may occur somewhere in your life, as well as tips on how to cope with them and not let it get the better of you.

Losing a job

Something almost every single person in the world will experience somewhere in their life. Losing a job can feel like the end of the world. Before you’ve even left the office, you already start picturing yourself living out of a cardboard box; this is you, being dramatic (and rightfully so) because your mind is trying to process what’s happening and exploring all avenues of options. The mind is a pretty theatrical thing, and with his best friend (your heart), the two of them together are what create the doomsday feeling inside you. Granted, losing a job sucks. But, before you start waddling in a puddle of self-pity, try and ask yourself a few quick questions;

How many times a week did you complain about your job? Was it the job you worked your butt off for, or was it only a means to keep your finances going while you worked on what you really wanted to do for a living? Did you even like your job? Asking these questions may help to shed some light on the situation and the actual severity of it. Yes, you don’t have a job now – can you try and get a new one? How about tackling that thing you’ve always wanted to do but were too scared to or didn’t have the time to do because you had your job that is now gone? Instead of seeing the loss of your job as the end, try imagining it as the start of a whole new chapter in your life. You can do pretty much anything you want – to go out there and do it! In the end, you’ll surprise yourself and not look back for a single second at the job you once had. 

Moving to a new location

They say that moving somewhere new has the same traumatic effect on one’s mind as it does when you lose a loved one. This may be true – seeing as by moving to a new location, you’re leaving everything you once knew behind in pursuit of the unknown, which is what most people are scared of. One can start to miss the minor things that you may not even have noticed while living there, like the cup of coffee you used to get at that cafe near your home. Your brain makes the grass on the other side look much greener, which is something we all do from time to time when reliving memories. Whatever reason you’re moving to a new location, whether it be a new job, or going to college, try thinking about all the new places you’ll see, all the new people you’ll meet, as well as the new things you’ll get attached to just as you did the last time. 

Losing a loved one

One of the worst things that could ever happen to you is when you lose a loved one – that’s the “I think I might die from this pain” type of feeling, and you start to deal with grief. Grief is an intense emotion accompanied by a few others, like shock, disbelief, anger, and nostalgia. Losing someone may sometimes feel like the end of the world; after all, you’re never going to see that person is again, and that’s the one thing that makes it so hard to move on. When losing someone, the important thing to do first is to allow yourself to feel every emotion that your body needs to feel – your mind needs to go through all the steps of Coping with grief and loss in order for you to really deal with it in a healthy way. Yes, burying it deep down and hustling through it may feel like the way to go at first, but ultimately, you’re just delaying the inevitable, which is facing the events that took place head-on. Surround yourself with your closest family and friends in this time, they are there for all the good and bad things that happen in your life, and you will definitely appreciate the support even if, at first, it may feel like you want to be left alone. 

Going through a divorce or breakup 

One of the hardest things to accept in life is when you were wrong about someone. Never let anyone tell you your divorce or break up isn’t that bad or that things could be worse – you are allowed to feel whatever you need to feel in order to come to terms with your relationship with someone ending. It’s hard to put into words the amount of time, energy, and love you invest throughout the course of a relationship and watching it end may feel like it was all for nothing. You may even start to feel like if things didn’t work out with that specific person, then it won’t work with anyone, but it’s not the truth. Even when it’s over now, your relationship was not all for nothing – it taught you many lessons, made you the person you are today, and made you the strong, independent individual you are today.

Remember that time spent loving someone is never time wasted. Odds are, there is someone out there right now, hoping to cross paths with someone just like you. And, if you could love the wrong person that much, just imagine the kind of love that will be shared between you and the right one. Take some time alone, enjoy living life on your own, get happy by yourself, and then when you’re ready, be open to meeting a person that will love you no matter what.

One key trait is crucial to deal with and get through all of these challenging life events: resilience. Your resilience is what will get you through in the end – that, and the unshaken belief that you deserve nothing less than the best.

This article was written by a freelance writer

Looking to the future: Life and Positivity by Eleanor

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(image: Pinterest)

‘The only thing constant in the world is change‘- India Arie

In the past few weeks, it hasn’t been the easiest of times. My anxiety has come back on some days, leaving me feeling pretty low and unable to do certain tasks. However, as each day passes it is slowly improving and I am looking towards the future, both in my life and career.

I am making the transition again to being self employed. For me, this is difficult to blog about- but as we look towards the Jewish New Year, I am holding on to hope.

Hope that all will improve.

Hope that good things are on their way.

Hope that the light is coming back again.

My book will be published in just over a month’s time and I am so excited to hold the paperback in my hands! Thank you everyone who pre ordered the book and made it into a best seller.

I am grateful for every blessing that has come my way. I also have more writing projects planned, stay tuned for further details :). I know it all will lead to good in the end.

I’m currently looking into therapy and further support- EMDR therapy if possible, which helps to process trauma through rapid eye movements and images.

Everything will work out for the good, just some days it is hard to see. A note to self: keep positive and keep going. Good, happiness and dreams are on it’s way even if temporarily hidden.

 

Yulife launch new App to help Employee Mental health: by yulife

 

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(image: yulife)

A new start-up based in Camden, London has launched an app to help companies improve the wellbeing and mental health of their staff. The company, yulife, launched last year and uses technology to monitor exercise and wellbeing and rewards employees that take part.

Staff members that download the app will have their daily exercise monitored including how many miles they walk or run and how long they meditate for each day. Every individual that takes part receives yucoin, the company’s digital wellbeing currency, which can then be exchanged for rewards.

The more you walk and meditate, the more rewards you get.

yulife have partnered with several household brands including Amazon and ASOS to provide discounts and offers reserved for employees that are proactively improving their health and wellbeing. Other perks including gig tickets, Avios air miles and gift cards.

The role of employee benefits has become significantly more important for organisations and HR in recent years, understanding that individuals are not a means to an end, but processes must be in place to assist with mental health, physical wellbeing, stress and anxiety.

Accordingly, by addressing an employee’s mental health and lifestyle, it should result in better productivity and engagement.

The yulife proposition offers life insurance for your staff at the forefront of their product offering and this ties in neatly with the wellbeing aspect.

yulife work closely with experts to make their app as useful as possible. One of these experts is renowned wellbeing physician and author, Dr Rangan Chatterjee, author of the 4 Pillar Plan, which is at the core of the yulife app.

Dr Chatterjee commented: “yulife looks at the wellbeing of the whole person – physical, mental and also financial. This is exactly the 360-degree view that I have been urging patients to adopt and I’m excited to be working with yulife to help our members to be their best selves.”

This sponsored article was by yulife. For more please see:  https://www.yulife.com/

 

Guest Post by UnitedMind Laughter Yoga: How to get the most out of your Job and Wellbeing.

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(image:health.com)

Being unhappy at work isn’t just ‘one of those things’ you need to put up with, even in today’s society where hating your job can seem to be glorified. You don’t have to be incredibly passionate about your industry or role to still enjoy coming in (although it helps if you do love it!) , and there are a few tips and tricks that can help transform that negative outlook into a positive one.

Have a carrot at the end of a stick

Spending your time at a job you don’t like is always going to be stressful, so we recommend thinking about the carrot at the end of your stick when you’re staying late or having a busy day. What are you saving for? What are you looking forward to? You might not care about the company you’re doing the work for, but you will care about the dream you’re putting the money towards.

There’s nothing wrong with working a job for the pay check; we all need a roof and food. However, if you really want to start genuinely enjoying your job more, we recommend trying to get more out of it than just a pay slip at the end of the month; or at least get more out of that pay slip.

Get pleasure out of purpose

In Happiness by Design, Paul Dolan speaks about how we derive pleasure from purpose, and this is directly important to how we should approach work. Doing the bare minimum isn’t great for the company or team you work in, and “just enough” will start to mentally make you feel inadequate. Inadequacy usually leads to anxiety,  and sometimes you feel awful. You  then a cocktail for a terrible working environment and for your own wellbeing.

Instead, you should try hard at your job , as long as it is not affecting your health. Positive peer reviews and promotions can reward the work you put in, which will make you feel more positive, and that positivity can snowball from there into something considerable.

Hard work and happiness breed confidence, so even if you still don’t like the place where you work, there’s nothing stopping you from taking this new found conviction to go and land a job you will love. Sometimes a fresh start is all you need.

Turn your co-workers into friends

Walking in to an office full of people that you don’t know and aren’t friendly with can make work a lonely experience. However, if you socialise with your co-workers and make an effort to speak to them, then you might even start looking forward to work because you’ve got Emma that you can speak to about the match at the weekend or David who you can chat with about the latest episode of your favourite show.

We recommend, even if it means leaving your comfort zone, that you go to as many work outings as you can. Drinks after work are always good at making everyone feel more comfortable around each other, but even going to something like a light yoga session at lunch could be the start of a routine to bring you and your colleagues closer together.

A nod and smile in the hallway is, relatively speaking, a small gesture – but it can make a workplace seem so much more welcoming.

You and your space

If you have a desk, something as small as tidying it can do a lot to change your mind set. If you have papers and rubbish all over your work space, you will start to feel cluttered and swamped; physically and mentally. The process of throwing away everything you don’t need can feel very relieving and almost like a detox.

Personalising your work space can also help make work more enjoyable. A picture of a loved one, a little happy picture/ object or even a plant you can look after all help make your area feel yours; we can forget how important individuality is sometimes.

This article was provided by the team at United Mind, who provide laughter yoga for those that want to have a little fun while improving their mental and physical health. Thanks also to Jack Bird.

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Life Mental Health Update and the Liebster Award!

Its been a really interesting week for me. I firstly decided after not getting the right NHS therapeutic support that I had to take life into my hands in two ways. Firstly, I needed to see if I could get funding for private therapy to help my anxiety and panic attacks about work. I was able to and then I have booked an appointment to see a recommended psycho-dynamic counsellor. I am hoping that my counselling sessions will help the anxiety and fear around certain things.

Secondly, I decided that if I want to live my dreams and have a life that is fulfilling and true to myself, I have to pursue them. Obviously I have to make my dream achievable too so I have been applying for jobs that feel right for me. My dream has been to be a teacher and I hope to get there one day. I have been interviewing for various positions in schools and hopefully the right one for me will come up soon. I will leave it to God and the universe to decide and do all I can.

So, its been quite a whirlwind for me this week and definitely being pushed a little outside my comfort zone, putting my heart and dreams on the line. However, I am really proud of myself for doing this. I have wanted to seek therapeutic help for years and while its a shame I can’t get it for free on the NHS, I hope it helps me to change my life. My family are a great support for me with this. I am starting this week and will see what happens.

So I have been going to job interviews and its really scary being asked so many questions and waiting for feedback. I know though that I can do it and make myself and my family proud (I hope anyway!)

As well as the above, I am very excited to be going to see Aladdin the musical at the theatre with my boyfriend for our anniversary. He is a wonderful support to me and I love disney!

Lastly, a blog friend, the Happiness Hunter https://thehappinesshunt.wordpress.com   has nominated me for the Liebster Award which celebrates new blogs. My blog has been going almost 2 years but I feel so thrilled to receive the award. Thank you so much! Due to time constraints I can’t nominate other blogs for the award but dedicate it to all my blog followers who are battling mental health stigma and writing so amazingly.  

Go and visit the above blog too, its wonderful! Thanks again 🙂

liebster