Life is filled with many extraordinary moments that can fill your heart with joy and warmth – there is so much to look forward to and hope for. Throughout life, you will experience many of these life changing events; such as falling in love, landing the job you’ve worked tirelessly for, getting that breakthrough you needed in order to make a success of something – but, sometimes something will happen that is less joyous and more painful; these are challenging times and are a real pain to experience in one’s life.
It is a sad but inevitable part of life. Like a rollercoaster going up and down, making loops and causing your heart to soar with glee, every once in a while, the rollercoaster will tip over the highest point on its way to rush down and, for a brief moment, you’ll maybe feel as if you’re going to die. This is what grief and loss feel like – a pain that is so all-encompassing and overwhelming, you feel as if your body can literally not stand it. But, every single time the rollercoaster has flung you from one side to the other, it stops at the drop off point and lets you off to continue with your life.
The key, therefore, is being able to hold on until the rollercoaster, which is your challenging life event, lets you off the hook. That said, here are four challenging life events that may occur somewhere in your life, as well as tips on how to cope with them and not let it get the better of you.
Losing a job
Something almost every single person in the world will experience somewhere in their life. Losing a job can feel like the end of the world. Before you’ve even left the office, you already start picturing yourself living out of a cardboard box; this is you, being dramatic (and rightfully so) because your mind is trying to process what’s happening and exploring all avenues of options. The mind is a pretty theatrical thing, and with his best friend (your heart), the two of them together are what create the doomsday feeling inside you. Granted, losing a job sucks. But, before you start waddling in a puddle of self-pity, try and ask yourself a few quick questions;
How many times a week did you complain about your job? Was it the job you worked your butt off for, or was it only a means to keep your finances going while you worked on what you really wanted to do for a living? Did you even like your job? Asking these questions may help to shed some light on the situation and the actual severity of it. Yes, you don’t have a job now – can you try and get a new one? How about tackling that thing you’ve always wanted to do but were too scared to or didn’t have the time to do because you had your job that is now gone? Instead of seeing the loss of your job as the end, try imagining it as the start of a whole new chapter in your life. You can do pretty much anything you want – to go out there and do it! In the end, you’ll surprise yourself and not look back for a single second at the job you once had.
Moving to a new location
They say that moving somewhere new has the same traumatic effect on one’s mind as it does when you lose a loved one. This may be true – seeing as by moving to a new location, you’re leaving everything you once knew behind in pursuit of the unknown, which is what most people are scared of. One can start to miss the minor things that you may not even have noticed while living there, like the cup of coffee you used to get at that cafe near your home. Your brain makes the grass on the other side look much greener, which is something we all do from time to time when reliving memories. Whatever reason you’re moving to a new location, whether it be a new job, or going to college, try thinking about all the new places you’ll see, all the new people you’ll meet, as well as the new things you’ll get attached to just as you did the last time.
Losing a loved one
One of the worst things that could ever happen to you is when you lose a loved one – that’s the “I think I might die from this pain” type of feeling, and you start to deal with grief. Grief is an intense emotion accompanied by a few others, like shock, disbelief, anger, and nostalgia. Losing someone may sometimes feel like the end of the world; after all, you’re never going to see that person is again, and that’s the one thing that makes it so hard to move on. When losing someone, the important thing to do first is to allow yourself to feel every emotion that your body needs to feel – your mind needs to go through all the steps of Coping with grief and loss in order for you to really deal with it in a healthy way. Yes, burying it deep down and hustling through it may feel like the way to go at first, but ultimately, you’re just delaying the inevitable, which is facing the events that took place head-on. Surround yourself with your closest family and friends in this time, they are there for all the good and bad things that happen in your life, and you will definitely appreciate the support even if, at first, it may feel like you want to be left alone.
Going through a divorce or breakup
One of the hardest things to accept in life is when you were wrong about someone. Never let anyone tell you your divorce or break up isn’t that bad or that things could be worse – you are allowed to feel whatever you need to feel in order to come to terms with your relationship with someone ending. It’s hard to put into words the amount of time, energy, and love you invest throughout the course of a relationship and watching it end may feel like it was all for nothing. You may even start to feel like if things didn’t work out with that specific person, then it won’t work with anyone, but it’s not the truth. Even when it’s over now, your relationship was not all for nothing – it taught you many lessons, made you the person you are today, and made you the strong, independent individual you are today.
Remember that time spent loving someone is never time wasted. Odds are, there is someone out there right now, hoping to cross paths with someone just like you. And, if you could love the wrong person that much, just imagine the kind of love that will be shared between you and the right one. Take some time alone, enjoy living life on your own, get happy by yourself, and then when you’re ready, be open to meeting a person that will love you no matter what.
One key trait is crucial to deal with and get through all of these challenging life events: resilience. Your resilience is what will get you through in the end – that, and the unshaken belief that you deserve nothing less than the best.
This article was written by a freelance writer