Guest post: 5 easy yet effective ways to calm yourself down when feeling anxious

By Lystia Putranto and Karina Ramos at www.bookmeditationretreats.com

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged; it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.

– Arthur Somers Roche

Sometimes nothing feels quite as awful than anxiety. In this state of mind, we tend to think of only the worst case scenarios. It robs us of our joy, makes us lose focus and leaves us feeling as if we have no control over our own lives.

Fortunately for us, there’s much we can do to reduce anxiety and its effects on our mind, body, and soul. Here are simple and fuss-free tips to apply that I have found to be effective to help me establish and maintain a calmer peace of mind in situations that previously would send me into a tailspin:

  1. Take Deep Breaths

It seems hard to believe that one of the simplest actions that you can take – taking deep breaths – may just be one of the most effective ways to calm ourselves down when we feel an anxiety attack coming on. Breathing deeply differs from our normal breathing (shallow breathing) as it requires your focus to breathe from your diaphragm as opposed to just breathing from your nose. Moreover, shallow breathing may often feel tense and constricted, whereas deep breathing induces relaxation.

By just taking a minimum of 10 deep breaths whenever you find yourself feeling anxious, you can instantly feel more peaceful and more importantly, it could bring our focus back to the present moment even in moments of panic or extreme anxiety. Through focusing our attention in the present moment, we are able to give our best effort in finding solutions to the issue(s) we worry about. Another great thing about this anxiety-reducing tool is that it is also accessible to you whenever and wherever you need it.

If you’re looking to gain a more lasting effect that you get from deep breathing, I highly recommend that you take up the practice of meditation. Not only will you be able to feel more at ease and calmer, you’re bound to also reap the many other benefits that come with meditation!

 2 Listen to Inspiring Tunes

I’m a true believer in the power of music and great tunes can be a great tool in lifting our spirits whenever we feel anxious or overwhelmed. Create a special playlist of your favorite inspiring (preferably upbeat) tunes and be sure to have them on hand to give you a spirit boost whenever you feel less than stellar. If you’re up for it, why not kick it up a notch and have yourself a dance party of one while you are listening to favorite music! It may sound silly but I personally have found it to be a great and quick way to lift my spirit and shake off those pesky anxieties.

 

  1. Let it Out

When we are plagued with anxiety, one of the best ways to alleviate yourself from that palpable worry is to talk it out with someone you trust. One of the toughest things to deal with when it comes to anxiety is the facade that you are alone and that you are the only one in the world who is going through challenging times. Feeling anxious and feeling like you have to keep it all bottled up is unhealthy and can often feel excruciatingly difficult.

The truth is, all of us have experienced anxiety and worry and this is why it is crucial for us to be able to turn to our spouse, friend, parent or sibling and share our troublesome thoughts. More often than not, you’d find that they too have experienced similar situations and would able to offer solutions to help you or at the very least, lend an emphatic shoulder to lean on.

 

  1. Jot it Down

If for one reason or another you feel uncomfortable sharing your feelings and thoughts to others, an alternative tool you can use is to keep a journal. That way, you can “spill” whatever you are going throughout and/or feeling in private. There’s something soothing and cathartic in writing out your inner most thoughts into paper that often leaves you feeling calmer and more at peace.

As someone who has journaled regularly since her early teen years, it became evident that most of my anxieties were just stories that I created and that my worries were far from being real. In writing our thoughts down consistently, you too may found most things that you have previously felt anxious or worried about in the past never actually end up happening. Our minds like to play tricks on us, making us focus on the worst scenarios of situations as opposed to what’s actually real and this is definitely something worth keeping in mind the next time we find ourselves filled with worry. As Dan Zadra, a renowned author said, “Worry is a misuse of imagination”.

 

  1. Get Physically Active

Science has provided much evidence that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people (those who are not physically active). Exercise may also improve mental health by helping the brain cope better with stress and feelings of worry. In one study, researchers found that those who do regular vigorous exercise were 25 % less likely to develop depression or an anxiety disorder.

Whatever type of exercises you prefer, aside from being extremely beneficial to our health and fitness, making sure that you get your regular dose of exercise is a great way to reduce anxiety. Though it sounds counter-intuitive, exercise actually increases our endorphin levels which are our body’s “feel good” chemicals and this, as a result, helps us burn off excess adrenaline that we produce when we are at a heightened state of anxiety.
About Lystia Putranto

Lystia is a personal & professional development blogger who seeks to inspire and to motivate people to create and to live out their best lives. A proponent of meditation, she actively encourages those who seek to become their best selves to integrate meditation as part of their daily routine.

 

Life is Possible: Guest Post by Megan

Megan is a blogger at http://www.themanicyears.com and writes about mental illness and bipolar disorder. She shares with us her positive outlook on life after overcoming adversity. 

I recently got asked a question that I have been asked quite a few times in my life before now. This question was asked by a distant acquaintance of mine; a person who was – until the past couple of months – previously a stranger to me.

The question was this;

“If you had the chance to go back in time, to redo any of your past choices, what would you change and why?”

I have thought about this in passing, at various points as I have progressed throughout my adult years. Usually, I shrug the question off with a   – ‘Yes, there’s probably lots of things I would change’ – without consenting to deeper reflection and proceed to let the thought slowly slip from my mind, like a shallow pool of water that gently drains through the gaps in my fingertips when I attempt to cup it in my hands, leaving its damp trace as a reminder to be embraced again at a later time.

In this occurrence, something about the flow of the conversation between me and this person, made me pause and take the time to delve deeper in to my  introspections, generating the need to deliver an open, raw and honest answer.

I looked back, escaping the present moment by retrograding through a virtual journey within my memories, my life, my youth, the relationships that I’d built and the ones that were torn down. And in that first instance; all I saw was pain.

Up until 2013, I endured a heart-wrenching and debilitating conquest to seek the right kind of help for my issues, and was finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. After the herculean efforts that resulted in this conclusion, I couldn’t quite decide if I had been awarded with a victory badge, or had my autonomy snatched away from me and handed down a stigmatised label of shame.

I had always been a painfully anxious and emotional child, but my first ‘real’ symptoms began when I was 12 years old; I started suffering from psychotic breaks and harmful thoughts. As far as my fragmented memory takes me, I understand this came about as a result of my mothers illness and attempted suicide . It was an attempt for which the blame was placed on me, when I’d packed up my things and left home one day through the impact of her own mental illness. What once were just about manageable emotional waves, became uncontainable storms.

My teenage years to follow were a struggle. Inevitably withdrawing from my peers, I lost myself in my pain and in the midst of it all and I made a lot of wrong choices. By the age of 18, I had turned to risk taking and harmful behaviours in an attempt to seek some sort of alleviation and my mood swings were wildly out of control. The relationship with my mother, even with my friends, had turned in to a wreck of nothing but dysfunctional scraps. Connecting with others was a difficult task, especially when I went back to my studies. A slow withdrawal from society will eventually disconnect you completely from other people. It puts you in a glass box placed high upon the shelves of the unwanted. In those classrooms, I disappeared. I was invisible, slowly degenerating in to the ashes of battle that I had lost a long time ago.

For the last ten years of my life, I feel that I have lost and wasted my youth. Did I choose to turn my back to my own self worth, to my recovery? Did I make a comfy home in the land of unforgiveness in the attempt to punish myself? Did I regret making these – I could argue – deliberate choices?

But when I look back from this day, I find myself understanding the result and my reasoning to that fateful question. And my answer to the question is; I would not change it one bit.

In this moment, I see the value of what I have in my life now, as a result of what lead me here. I now see that I can thank myself that I did not give up on my studies, turning my hurt in to a driver to fuel my career – a notion that I did not realise at the time. I now see, that those people I distanced myself from who walked away, are those people which I’d unconsciously sifted out from the small circle of treasures I am blessed have in my life and who I call ’true’ friends. I now see, that although forever present, these scars that trace through my whole body have toughened and healed. I now see the infinite possibilities and the beauty of life within the depths of my child’s eyes, and I see a reflection of my own growth in there.

If I had not endured my past at all, would I have been in the place that I am now? Would I even dream of risking all the wealth that I have in my life in this moment in time?

I now see, that I won the battle all along. I now see, that life is possible.

On paper, I may be just an ‘unfortunate’ label of a chronic and debilitating mental health disorder, who drew the bad hand in life. But behind the diagnosis, behind the long term medication, hides an unbelievable journey that led me to this present day. And I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

 

Guest Post: Inner Self Talk The 7 Words that hold you back

Michael J. Russ- Author and Adversity Coach

Your inner conversation, also known as self-talk, exerts more influence over your attitude, achievement, time, success, happiness, relationships, and overall prosperity than you can imagine. Self-talk is best defined as the thoughts and words you use to describe you and what you are doing.

Regardless of whether your inner dialogue remains in your head or is expressed in conversation, there are seven words that can hold you back. These words are: hard, difficult, tough, impossible, can’t, try and never, and usually make an appearance when referencing current and future actions, especially those related to adversity.

Why should you stop using these seven words? Aside from focusing on the negative, they generate unnecessary additional mental adversity and sow seeds of doubt that prevent you from fully committing.

Do you occasionally find yourself saying, this is going to be hard, it’s tough for me, or I will never finish this? Is there some rule that says something will be hard, tough or difficult, or that you will never get something done?

Have you ever heard a coach tell their team a game will be tough, difficult or impossible to win? Of course, not. A coach would never plant such a thought virus into the heads of their players.

When you approach tasks, goals, and intentions, use self-talk that affirms and supports what you want to happen, instead of what you do not. Thinking and saying, I can do this, is a great example of affirmative self-talk that opens pathways to producing your best effort. The phrase is simple, yet very empowering!

Right about now, you are probably wondering what I suggest you think and say in place of the seven words I recommend you drop from your self-talk vocabulary. In my view, simply referring to a response or future action as a challenge is more appropriate because it does not generate additional mental adversity. Examples of its use would be, cleaning this garage is going to be a real challenge or my health is my greatest challenge. These statements position you for what you must accomplish on the road ahead—igniting strength, will, creativity, and inspiration, as opposed to mountains of negative feelings and emotions that hold you back.

Framing actions as challenges might seem trivial, ridiculous, or even uncomfortable at first. What you will soon experience, however, is a noticeable difference in the way you
think and feel. Viewing actions as challenges sets the stage for mental clarity, optimism, possibility thinking, inspired actions, and miraculous aha moments.

Establishing clear goals and intentions and then crafting an inner conversation that supports them is crucial to making self-talk your most important resource and greatest ally for achievement and designing the life you envision. If you find it too great a challenge to keep the seven words I mentioned unsaid, remember this sage advice, if you can’t say something positive, don’t say anything at all.

About the author:
Michael J. Russ is an international bestselling author, inspiring speaker/trainer, and the founder of Zero AdversityTM Coaching & Training. This article was adapted from his international bestselling book, Zero Adversity: 3 Practical Steps to Freedom, Fulfillment, and Creating an Authentic Life, where he outlines a practical 3-step method everyone can use to experience balance, freedom, and prosperity in their life. Michael can be reached via email at inquiry@michaeljruss.com. http://www.michaeljruss.com

Article for the Monologues Project- ‘People don’t always understand’

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Be Ur Own Light has teamed up with the amazing Monologues Project for this months #showandtell feature. In it they interviewed us about our journey with mental health and asked questions about our lives.

It is such a pleasure to be working with them. Thank you Monologues Project!

To read the in depth article, click here: http://www.themonologuesproject.org/features/003

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