Ups and Downs.

I have had a fairly good two weeks. After the week of panic attacks, I went in every day for 5 days and had a lot of fun with the boys. Then, we hosted sheva brachot (a celebratory meal in the week after a wedding) for my cousin and his new wife. I also went to JW3, the Jewish community centre, with my sister and cousins to hear the chef Yotam Ottlenghi speak. Was brilliant.

So as you can see, I was able to do a lot and socialise and see family and friends.

But with my illness- I truly cannot have it all. Today I found myself having to resign from work due to anxiety/stress/ depression. Again.

I was working with two vulnerable children and they were so sweet. But I just couldnt go in and be there every day as my anxiety got worse and worse.

So now I have had to resign and be signed off from work again and claim ESA once more.

My priority is my health now and getting myself well.

With Hashems help, hopefully I can move forward into a better place health wise.

Im exhausted. But hopefully I can get better again and learn to manage my symptoms more effectively.

Please G-d I will stay strong. Im sad but it had to be done.

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