I had it all mapped out. I had a part time job that would have lasted a year and would have given me enough money to train as a primary teacher. I had a plan to apply for teacher training in September. My dream was and is to become an early years/ Reception teacher and then specialise in children with special educational needs as a SENCO in a school. This is still exactly what I want but my confidence has been shaken.
It seems that my temperament is not so well suited for the stress of teaching. Yet, I love working with children and other than writing/ blogging, I literally can’t see myself doing anything else.
I trained in drama and applied theatre and i love the creativity drama brings. However, I don’t want to teach drama in a secondary school yet- I don’t feel ready and I prefer working with younger age groups.
I genuinely feel well and truly lost. However, this is a beautiful thing. I have time to dream and think and plan and get myself well so I can achieve my dream of being a happy and confident Reception teacher- nurturing children and helping them learn and grow , but most importantly a happy and confident person. I am going to love life again in all its glory.
I will not let anxiety or depression define who I am. Yes, I do face more challenges than most but I will achieve and I will get better. This is the beauty of being lost.