Guest Post by Richie: Dealing with anxiety, Live Your Now

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I was honoured to be asked to write a piece on anxiety for this wonderful blog.  I’m Richie, and I’m a mindfulness coach – one who happens to have had anxiety for as long as I can remember.  The thing is, I didn’t always know I had it.  I’ve been researching positive psychology methods etc for many years, but I wasn’t coping so headed to see a counsellor who referred me for a course of CBT after having pointed out – Sir, you have bad anxiety.

Me?

Yes I’d had panic attacks, people would describe me as quite reactive, amongst other things – and after all these years, to discover it was my “fight or flight” mechanism going into overdrive & attaching to situations in had no business being in, well, I was not impressed to say the least! How did I miss this? I felt initially extremely put out by this, I saw myself as a “fighter” – I got on with things, my panic attacks were just “stage fright” (I was in radio/music performance etc), my OCD a quirk of creativity and all that jazz! Right?

Wrong.

This is when I began to understand more fully the stigma associated to “mental health”. A somewhat wishy-washy term to people not familiar, or plain ignorant of the facts (as I myself was), as it’s often attributed to needing to just “chill out” or, “stop being so depressed” etc. At some point in life, many people will experience bouts of some kind of mental illness – after traumas, disappointments, or for some no seeming reason at all! But then, even the most healthy people can catch a cold.  And that’s the issue. Mental Health is a physical issue, that cannot be seen, and therefore for some is like trying to see oxygen.

My advice is simple on this matter; for brevity.

Acceptance & ownership

Firstly, accept it’s a physical thing, and take ownership and understand the physical things in the mind that are taking place. This helps separate you from the thought that you ARE your anxiety/depression etc. This is simply not the case.

If you catch a cold, you don’t say you ARE your cold. CBT helped me understand the mechanics of it, and have useful approaches, but for me (and we’re all different), I find mindfulness to have been the most helpful because it teaches to not identify as “being” depression/anxiety etc. This begins a process of dissociation of identifying as “being” depressed/anxious, and instead acceptance of what it is, how it functions, learning how it feels, and gradually gaining a level of understanding and feeling of when it’s occurring – and how it can shape/affect our feelings/emotions and therefore behaviours/reactions.

Experiment with techniques

Secondly, experiment with ways that can help you day to day – of course, seek professional help, but there’s also much that you can do independently. Breathing exercises (massively effective!), reminding yourself that the depression/anxiety doesn’t make you who you are, try things like mindfulness which teach us to detach from thought.

I also personally use meditations, guided or technological, hypnosis, even things like “EFT” (emotional freedom technique – or tapping), reading positive books, listening to uplifting music, and actively managing thought processes as and when I can.  Using mindfulness to compliment allows for being more in touch then, with which techniques are being more effective for you in the moment.

Is anxiety still there? Oh yes! But the more I practice these techniques (and you will find what works for you) and indeed, share them with others, the more aware I become of “anxiety”.

Reframing

Lastly; I have also reframed my anxiety, because without that fight or flight mechanism, our species would not likely still be here! So it’s important! It’s evolved in our species to protect us – and there are times that flood of adrenaline etc is critical. We certainly would not wish to be without it, but the chances a tiger is going to jump out and eat us are hopefully not too prevalent in your neighbourhood…

My experiences prompted me to begin @LiveYourNow & @Rmindrs on Twitter where I post daily mindfulness reminders, engage, and encourage others to talk – and hopefully create a few laughs too! (Laughter releases great neuro-chemicals!)

Be forgiving of yourself, understand you’re on a journey, and when you find things that help you, share them with others. The more we speak openly, the less stigma is attached, and the more others who may be suffering in silence may feel comforted and confident to speak out and seek assistance.  I have been witness to that now multiple times, and it’s truly a wonderful thing when we accompany each other, in compassion, on our healing journeys.

Thank you for reading! I hope it brings even just one person comfort/hope.

To your greatest life,

Richie – @LiveYourNow

My Blogging Journey: An Update

All has been so busy here at Be Ur Own Light of late that I havn’t often had time to sit down and just breathe and be. I started this blog back in March time as a personal journal and a way for me to speak to friends and family about my struggles with bipolar and anxiety.

Since then, it has been read on almost every continent excluding the Poles (thank you), gained a larger following here on WordPress and on social media and led me to collaborate with a variety of mental health writers and bloggers, campaigners, charities and  health campaigns.

From there, I have also started blogging for the Huffington Post Lifestyle under my real name and am hoping to collaborate with many others. My dream would be to have a feature in Glamour UK Magazine, Stella Magazine or Grazia. I hope that by putting it out to the universe that this will happen!

I would also like to write my own Mental health book and memoir and become a published author and raise more money for charities.

Thank you so much for reading and being a part of my writing journey. Thank you for your likes, follows, comments, guest posts and Tweets/ Insta messages. Thank you for reading from your corner of the world.

I hope to make Be Ur Own Light a big magazine style blog, reaching as many people as possible. For now though, I am humbled by the love and support I have received so far. If you want to collaborate with me just email beurownlight@gmail.com or Tweet me. 

With gratitude and love x

Article for the Monologues Project- ‘People don’t always understand’

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Be Ur Own Light has teamed up with the amazing Monologues Project for this months #showandtell feature. In it they interviewed us about our journey with mental health and asked questions about our lives.

It is such a pleasure to be working with them. Thank you Monologues Project!

To read the in depth article, click here: http://www.themonologuesproject.org/features/003

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Guest Post: How Deepdene Care helps support people with psychosis.

by Rhona Mackenzie, Clinical Director, Deepdene Care

For more please clink link above or see http://www.deepdenecare.org.uk/

Be Ur Own Light is happy to partner with Deepdene Care,a health provider in the UK


At Deepdene  we support people with severe mental health issues such as psychosis.

 

As mental health problems are often complex and involve an array of factors, the best course of action for any case is structured, multi-faceted approach that is rolled out over months and possibly years with the primary objective of reducing the impact of the condition on an individual’s life.

 

As a service provider we have to look at the bigger picture:

 

Staff have a deeper understanding

A high level of staff training is an intrinsic part of any treatment and care plan.

 

We train staff to understand and increase their knowledge of all mental health conditions. In the case of psychosis, they are taught to be aware of what hallucinations and delusions are, so that they can act in a proper, effective manner, and are also taught how brain chemicals can affect people. This gives them an educated insight, which not only helps with treatment, but allows them to understand what an individual is going through, ensuring empathetic responses.

 

In addition, staff have to have an understanding of the side effects of medication. So, again, they are properly equipped to be able to help the service users and approach them with understanding.

 

Therapies and activities

Therapies and activities are also a key factor in the recovery process, especially occupational therapies, where service users are able to fill their time with meaningful activities. This helps individuals gain routine in their lives, bringing a sense of direction back into what they do and acting as a representation of everyday life.

 

Getting to know the person and their symptoms 

It is essential that anyone with psychosis under our care is supported and treated as an individual, as each case is completely different from another and symptoms can vary quite dramatically. This is why we place a great deal of focus on listening to patients, observing their behaviours and supporting them in every way possible.

 

We also promote therapeutic relationships between staff and service users, with the central goal being to build trust and respect among them.

 

Destigmatising mental illness

As a mental health provider, we have to advocate and educate people to destigmatise mental illnesses and accept the person the way they are – promoting empathy among team members and throughout the service as a whole.

 

If a person has had a mental illness they are usually more understanding and empathetic towards another mental health sufferer. If a service user/person is being discriminated against, we may need to support them on how to deal with that.

 

Outside support

We also support those with psychosis through outside professionals like psychologists.

 

But, and we can’t stress this enough, none of our work would be effective, if we don’t support, respect and accept the individual for the way they are.

 

Mental Health Recovery

Our ultimate goal is to have individuals be responsible for their own behaviours, which is why we look to educate them to self-support their own physical, emotional and social needs, while we are on hand to offer support when necessary. Almost like a safety net to cushion any falls individuals may have on their personal journey to recovery.

 

It’s important to dispose of any one-size-fits-all solution. This is about treating the person as an individual, accepting their illness as part of their individuality while at the same time seeing them as a whole person and not just defining them by their mental health condition.

 

Self-belief is a huge part of the recovery process and we’re able to help individuals develop their esteem, empowering them by educating them on relationships, finance, occupation, choices, diet, exercise and lifestyle. Placing control back into their own hands through guidance and advice.

 

It’s important to understand individuals so that we know when they are at their best, at which point we can work with them to develop crisis and relapse plans and find out exactly how they’d like to be treated. Essentially it’s a two-way street, and we place a great deal of importance on working with individuals to find the best path.

 

 

A blog for Bipolar UK- ‘What bipolar means to me’

I am excited to share with you all my first blog for the charity Bipolar UK. Bipolar UK assist those with bipolar disorder and their families, as well as raising awareness.

In this very personal blog, I share what it is like when suffering with a depressive and anxious episode. I hope you enjoy reading it and it helps you feel a little less alone!

‘The other day I was sitting in my room feeling contemplative and I found one of my journal notebooks from 2011. I’ve been journalling on and off since I was young and have documented a lot of my life as it’s so therapeutic.

In 2004 I was diagnosed with bipolar at the age of just 16. I’m now 28 and have spent the past 12 years managing my illness through medication, therapy and a good support network….’

Click here to read the full article:

https://www.bipolaruk.org/blog/what-having-bipolar-means-for-me

National Stress Awareness Day- ISMA

Here at Be Ur Own Light, we promote good health and wellness. We were delighted to learn about a stress management initiative – National Stress Awareness Day – that has been in existence for almost 20 years in the UK.  The founder is Carole Spiers, Motivational Speaker and CEO of the Carole Spiers Group (CSG), a stress management consultant who is also Chair of the International Stress Management Association (ISMAUK).

ISMAUK is a charity and was established in 1974.  They are a membership organisation and set professional standards dedicated to excellence and best practice.  Their mission is to promote stress prevention and wellbeing.

This year, for National Stress Awareness day, they focused on stress for employees in the workplace.

As Spiers writes, ‘It is vital that the stigma of stress is removed and that stress is accepted as a mental health issue both nationally and internationally. Employees are an organisation’s most valuable resource.  It is very difficult to replace this human asset which is why ‘workforce wellness’ is an organisational imperative’. (ISMAUK)

National Stress Awareness Day – Wednesday 2nd November 2016

This year, National Stress Awareness Day took place on 2nd November and its theme for this year was ‘Workforce Wellness – your Prime Investment’.

Founded in 1998, the day runs annually on the first Wednesday of November and its aim is to educate people on the recognition of stress in self and others together with providing solutions and strategies.

Activities take place throughout the country that provide training, advice and consultancy. Last year, the day was talked about widely with over 121,000 comments alone discussing it on Twitter!

Through ISMA’s global reach, Stress Awareness Day is also run throughout the world.

Spiers continues, ‘The Carole Spiers Group proactively educate employees on how to build a healthy workplace culture. Through our nationwide employee counselling service and range of resilience and organisational change training programmes, our aim is to provide solutions and strategies to help people manage stress – both at home and at work.’

So how can you get involved with next years National Stress Awareness Day?
If you are already an ISMA member, you can organise an ISMA workshop for your employees and colleagues, deliver presentations on the subject and talk to the press and on social media to further raise awareness. A reduced rate pack is on the ISMA website to help you get started! http://bit.ly/1RyIZKL

This packs contains powerpoint slides, workbooks and media guidance to help you get the most out of your Stress Awareness Day.
For more information on ISMA and Stress Management Day on  2nd November each year, email info@carolespiersgroup.co.uk  and tweet about it using the handle #nationalstressawarenessday

My Guest Blog at PhobiaSupportForum.com

Be Ur Own Light is proud to collaborate with Mark at http://www.phobiasupportforum.com. Phobia Support Forum, support people suffering from a wide variety of mental health conditions and specific phobias. They have a forum where sufferers can talk and ask questions and form friendships.

My guest blog for them is about my anxiety and working with a care coordinator. You can read it here:

http://phobiasupportforum.com/expert-guest-articles/an-amazing-care-coordinator/

We are truly so happy to be a part of Phobia Support Forum and look forward to working together in the future. I hope all you lovely readers enjoy my blog!

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Dark nights and Brighter Days: Music and Writing

It feels like ages since I just sat down and wrote my heart out about my own life, which is how Be Ur Own Light started. In fact this blog was a diary and once called Diary of a Nearly Thirty Year Old (as I am 28!) The level of interest in mental health writing and my blog is growing which is wonderful and I love sharing everyone’s stories and featuring guest posts from brave mental health warriors. Today though I want to update you on my story.

Thank fully, I am not depressed or too anxious these days. I have been able to go out more, see friends and family and just enjoy myself. This week my Dad and I ran two charity events at Jazz after Dark, a teeny little club in Soho, Central London. Jazz after Dark is where Amy Winehouse walked in and began her career and where she wrote part of Back to Black. Our charity events used live music, amps, phone stages and hifi systems like Graham Slee Hifi. 

Our event was in aid of a young girl who passed away this year aged just 20. Many professional singers and musicians gave their time for free for us to raise money for an ambulance , which was the dying wish of the girl who passed away.

We managed to raise £3,500 for the charity supplying the ambulance through ticket sales, a raffle and auction. My Dad put so much of it together and on the nights we worked so hard. It was a thoroughly enjoyable 2 nights and I had the chance to watch live music and meet acquaintances and see old friends. I was so thankful to feel comfortable doing this and for feeling so happy at what we all achieved.

Additionally, my cousin got engaged last weekend which was lovely, we had a family party for him.

I am also contemplating a new career in writing professionally. I have always written, journalled, wrote poetry and did English at university.. I always have used writing as an outlet. However, I want to share my story in overcoming adversity and living with mental health issues. I have been so lucky to already have collaborated with people and 2 big mental health charities. So this journey is new and exciting and rewarding. I thank you for reading here in my little corner of the internet and for following the journey together.

The Counsellors Cafe Blog Collaboration: Social Anxiety- I will get There

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Hi everyone,

I am delighted to announce a collaboration with the wonderful people (Dionne and Victoria) at The Counsellors Cafe. Counsellors cafe is a community for people to share articles and knowledge about their mental health, and links therapists and sufferers.

I have written a blog for them on living with social anxiety which was published yesterday!

‘I wrote this piece  on social anxiety so I can write with my heart without feeling ashamed and can share what it is like to live with mental ill health at times. This is something that has been a part of my life since I was 15 years old and I will be 28 this year. It doesn’t feel like 13 years have passed since I first got sick, but its true that time definitely passes quickly. ‘

 You can read it here and at their website:  http://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/single-post/2016/11/01/I-Will-Get-There

For more see: http://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/

#beurownlight

‘How I deal with Anxiety and Depression’ – Guest post by Ashley Owens at Generally Anxious

This guest post was written by blogger Ashley Owens at Generally Anxious http://www.generallyanxious.com
You can find her on Twitter at @genanxious. Ashley is also an author of a mental health novel.
Here, Ashley talks about her experience of anxiety and depression and how she deals with it. We thank her for contributing such an enlightening post!
I have dealt with anxiety & depression for over 30 years. It’s been an exhausting and sometimes sloppy ride. The most important thing I’ve learned is to cope. In my case, if I attempt to ignore (yeah right) or fight anxiety & depression, it gets worse. Instead, I am learning to live with them.

Check in with yourself daily.  Life can move pretty quickly.  Every day, I take the time to recognize how I’m feeling, and make adjustments as needed.  EVERY DAY. As a diabetic takes their blood sugar and adjusts their insulin amount accordingly, if I am tired, nervous or sad, I make sure to take it easy on myself. Take baby steps, one step at a time through the day, and be honest about how much I can accomplish, without over extending myself. I am not a superhero, and no one expects me to be (except my dogs).
Treat your body well.  ‘Comfort food’ got it’s name for a reason.  However, if I don’t moderate the amount of junk food, alcohol, late nights, or sloth-like behaviour, I end up feeling worse, triggering anxiety & depression.  I try to get a good night’s sleep, take my vitamins, eat vegetables and be active every day, as best I can.  Full disclosure: cheesecake is my favorite food, so I certainly love eating things that aren’t necessarily good for me.  And I allow myself to, in moderation. 
 
Do not trivialise your hobbies. I love listening to music, exercising, reading books, snuggling with my pups. These are some of the things that make me happy, so it is worth the time to enjoy them. Contributing to your happiness enables you to deal with real life: chores, school, work, conflict. More importantly, happiness makes us a better friend, co-worker, daughter/son, spouse, person.
Am I a master at all of this?  Not. Even. Close.
Make a small checklist.  As a daily reminder, write down a short list of questions that will indicate if you are taking proper care of yourself.  For example:
  • Am I getting at least 6 hours of sleep every night (and preferably 8 hours)?
  • Did I hug my pet/family member/ best friend today?
  • Have I exercised in the last 3 days?
  • Did I dance around to music at full blast this week?!
You can use this short list as a barometer – If you answer ‘no’ to any of your questions, you need to make a change to keep yourself on track, healthy and happy.
I walk with anxiety & depression everyday, one step at a time, being honest with myself that I’m not perfect. Well guess what? Nobody is! You are not alone in your struggles, so be honest with how you feel, and keep moving forward!