How to deal with a Breakup when you have OCD: Guest blog by Brooke Chaplan

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Your OCD symptoms may be triggered by situations that feel out of your control, and breakups can easily throw your life into a tailspin. On top of dealing with the hurt that comes with ending a relationship, you may also be dealing with serious anxiety about what your future holds. This is especially true if you find yourself blaming yourself for your flaws and inadequacies and holding yourself solely responsible for the breakup. These tips will help you begin to heal by dealing with your breakup in healthy ways that allow you to see this as an opportunity for growth.

Stick to Your Wellness Plan

The first thing that you need to do is practice self-care. Although your heart may be too broken to want to get out of bed, it is important to follow your normal daily routine. Exercise helps to release endorphins that make your symptoms more manageable. Eating a healthy diet also helps to reduce the symptoms of anxiety and OCD. Following your wellness plan sends signals to your brain that you will overcome this temporary life event. It’s important to know that while exercise and self-care will not cure either your mental illness or your broken heart, it will strengthen your body and give you the tools you need to handle the strain.

Seek Advice About the Future

When you have OCD, the realization that you have no idea of what will happen next can make your symptoms worse. Seeking relationship advice that addresses your current circumstances along with how they influence your future gives you a sense of control. Talk to a therapist, counselor, spiritual guide, religious leader, or family member. This advice can then be used to begin putting together a new life plan that helps you feel confident and mentally strong.

Find Healthy Distractions

Once you know that the future is bright, you can begin finding ways to overcome your pain in the present moment. Explore new hobbies and set goals that help you build for your better future while also avoiding the tendency to obsess over the past. Try taking a class or doing an activity that you’ve always wanted to explore. You’ll feel stronger and more excited about what the future has in store.

Take Note of Your Progress

During your breakup, you can expect to experience some high and low moments. When you feel down, try to recognize how much progress you’ve made. For instance, you might have made a new friend who helps you get through this rough patch. You might have managed to avoid checking your ex’s social media pages. These little signs of progress mean that you are moving forward, and recognizing them helps you see that the breakup truly is a chance to grow. Remember to not beat yourself up over slipping up. It is likely that an emotional moment like this could bring up past compulsions and obsessions you thought you had gotten over. This does not mean you have failed or somehow destroyed your past progress, because progress is not linear.

Your relationship might be over, but you can use this moment as an opportunity for personal growth. When you feel like your OCD symptoms are taking over, reach out to people who care. Soon, you’ll have this whole painful event behind you and be looking at the future with a positive perspective.

If you need further support, speak to your therapist doctor or psychiatrist.

 

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most of her time hiking, biking, and gardening. For more information, contact Brooke via Facebook at facebook.com/brooke.chaplan or Twitter @BrookeChaplan

We are 4! On Be Ur Own Light’s Fourth Blog Anniversary by Eleanor

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Its Today- 1st March 2020 and Be Ur Own Light is 4 years old! (cue the streamers!)

I still remember starting this blog as an outlet for my fears, thoughts and emotions dealing with my bipolar and anxiety. The blog started as a way to tell my friends and family how I was feeling and has evolved into working with guest bloggers and now brands/ partners on sponsored wellness posts too! Writing the blog and sharing thoughts has been so therapeutic and it has taken me on  a journey that I could not have imagined.

In November 2019, I published my first book Bring me to Light with Trigger Publishing which is the book of my life story with bipolar disorder, anxiety and my life in general (travelling, going to drama school, starting a career as a writer). The blog has also grown so much this year and is currently nominated in the Mental Health Blog Awards for Blogger of the Year, thank you to our nominee!

Additionally, Vuelio awarded us as a Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog for the second year running and interviewed me (Eleanor) about working as a blogger!  Thanks also to Feedspot.com and My Therapy App for listing us in their mental health blog lists too for social anxiety and bipolar!

This year, I have written about World Bipolar Day for the Centre of Mental Health, about my search for EMDR therapy on the NHS, living with depression in winter, about writing my book and new life changes (getting married) and 2020 new year round up with hopes for the future. We also promoted mental health campaigns such as Shout UK text line (founded by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry and Meghan),  Christmas 4 CAMHS, Time to Talk Day and Mental Health Awareness Week. Additionally, I spoke in Essex with my Dad about our joint story with bipolar for the Jami Mental Health Awareness Shabbat and we also spoke at Limmud Conference in Birmingham!

This winter I did some interviews for the book which can be seen on the Book tab above and also received some lovely reviews. It was amazing to appear in Happiful Magazine’s bonus wellness Mag this January (edited by campaigner Natasha Devon) and to write for Glamour and Bipolar UK. I also enjoyed being interviewed for the Jewish News and Jewish Chronicle! Hopefully at some point I will do podcasts about it too and more interviews.

From March 2019-2020, the blog has attracted wonderful and talented guest bloggers wanting to spread their messages about mental health and wellness.

We have also worked with the following brands on sponsored and gifted posts and hope to work with many more this next year :  YuLife, Nutra Tea, Essential Olie, Loveitcoverit on mental health apps, I-sopod floatation tanks, Core Wellness Maryland, Wellbeing Escapes Holidays.

My guest bloggers have written about their recovery and living with mental illnesses, as well as advice on how to improve your mental health. There a posts for whether you are going through a divorce, a bereavement, are stressed or have anxiety. We also had posts with people’s first hand experiences of mental illness including a brave post about being a sibling of someone with mental illness and one of living with an eating disorder. Furthermore, Be Ur Own Light has also covered World Mental Health Day and Time to Talk Day this year, featuring personal mental health stories as a way to raise awareness and fight misconceptions.

We have also covered new books coming out, a mental health fashion brand and a song about social anxiety, as well as posts about different therapies to help you.

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Thank you to my amazing guest bloggers (non sponsored) March 2019-2020 for your fantastic content:   

Ashley Smith- How Massage Therapy helps Anxiety Disorders

Emily Bartels- 5 tips for a mental health emergency plan

Dale Vernor- Understanding PTSD by Gender 

Tan at Booknerd Tan- How audio books and walking has helped anxiety

Emma Sturgis- Loving yourself, tips for a body positive life

EM Training Solutions- How to maintain mental health at work

David Morin- On social anxiety and talking to others

Lyle Murphy- How equine therapy can help those with mental health issues

Charlie Waller Memorial Trust- Best of Musicals event

A Time to Change Hypnotherapy-  Hypnotherapy for self esteem

Nu View Treatment Center- The connection between anxiety and substance abuse

Shout UK- Royal family launches mental health text line

Mental Health Foundation – Mental Health Awareness Week  May 2019 Body Image

Emerson Blake- Coping with the stress of becoming a single parent

The Worsley Centre- A guide to therapies and finding the right one for you

Byron Donovan at Grey Matter – How I recovered from depression to form a fashion brand 

Luci Larkin at Wooley and Co Law- How to reduce stress and maintain mental health during a divorce

Nat Juchems- How to keep your loved ones memory alive after bereavement

Emily Ilett- on her book ‘The Girl who Lost her Shadow’

Mark Simmonds- an interview about his book ‘Breakdown and Repair’ with Trigger Publishing

Curtis Dean- 5 facts about music for stress relief

Robert Tropp- How quitting illegal drugs helps anxiety in the long term

Aaron James- the difference between psychotherapy and counselling

Dr Justine Curry- 4 ways to help a friend with bipolar disorder

Christmas 4 CAMHS campaign for children in childrens mental health wards

Ani O- 4 ways to ease the fear of doctors appointments

Katherine Myers- Ways that spending time outdoors can improve your mental health

Anita- 5 ways to lift you out the slump of seasonal depression

Chloe Walker- taking care of your child’s mental health

CBT Toronto- how to deal with social anxiety and depression

Katy- a true story with anorexia and OCD

Vanessa Hill- Life changing habits to bring into the new year

Rachel Leycroft- Expressing social anxiety through songwriting

Shira- Living with a sibling with mental illness: the meaning of normal

Capillus- 10 signs you may have an anxiety disorder

Brooke Chaplan- When therapy isn’t enough 

Jami Mental Health Awareness Shabbat 2020 

Mike Segall- Time to Talk Day- 9 years undiagnosed, my story with bipolar disorder

Jasveer Atwal- Living with PCOS and managing mental health

Leigh Adley at Set Your Mind Free- How CBT helps children with anxiety

Lizzie Weakley- How to heal and move forward when you have an eating disorder

Sofie- Living with an eating disorder

Thank you so much to all of you and I am excited to see what 2020-21 brings for the blog!

Be Ur Own Light continues to be read globally and I love receiving your messages about the blogs and finding new writers too.

Heres to a 2020 of positive mental health, of fighting the stigma against mental illness and creating a positive and supportive community here. 

Happy 4th birthday Be Ur Own Light!  ❤ May this be an enlightening year of growth for us.

 

Love and Light always,

Eleanor    

xxx

Looking to the Future and Life Dreams: by Eleanor

Hi friends,

It has been a while since I have written a personal blog as there has been so much going on here that I was just focusing on getting through it all. Robs dad had surgery to remove a second brain tumour and is thankfully recovering well, the surgeon amazingly got all the cancer. Success.

Alongside this, I have been in therapy since November with a wonderful therapist and we are doing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing therapy). This therapy helps to process trauma that can get ‘stuck’ in the brain if not processed. That trauma can stem from childhood upwards- I was an anxious child from an early age even though I had a good childhood! I have also been through a lot due to my bipolar episodes and hospitalisations. So, I am working with my therapist to process memories and we are doing it slowly.

My therapist will either ‘tap’ on the side of my legs while I recall the memory to help process it or my eyes will follow a light or her finger as we process. Understandably, there has to be a lot of trust in this type of relationship as well as me being protected and not triggered by the therapy. For this, we have developed a ‘safe place’ memory that I go to when we bring up anything too distressing. We have just started to go deeper with this and I will update you with our progress. I am far less anxious than I was and it has been really helpful to build a positive, working relationship with my therapist.

The reason I started therapy was because I was having intense panic attacks and finding it difficult to manage my life due to it. I hope that by working on these triggers that I can react differently and live a healthier and better life. Stay tuned!

A month or so ago, I also went to see my psychiatrist for the first time in 2 years, mainly as I had worries about my weight and physical health. My medications means I have put on a substantial amount of weight and this is worrying me health wise more than anything. I have been advised to diet and exercise and maybe work with a nutritionist. So, this will also be a new journey and I will try my best with this, not easy as the meds may stop me losing weight due to slowing metabolism or encouraging cravings. We considered reducing my Quetaipine, a mood stabiliser and anti psychotic to help but because I have been more mentally stable, I have decided to keep it at the same dose for now.

Rob and I have also started to look at new homes, which has been good. There is a lot happening right now and important that I rest, look after myself and keep calm.

Life with bipolar disorder can be uncertain. I have some fears about the future, which I will talk about in another more detailed post. My medicines thankfully keep me mentally well, but coming off them for future life changes eg pregnancy could be a big risk for me and one I am not sure I should take due to being bipolar 1 (risk of mania and psychosis). This is not currently imminent, but is still a future fear, especially as I love children. A decision for a later date.

Overall though I am hopeful and excited about life and will keep you all updated with my therapy and health journey and news.

Thanks for reading and following Be Ur Own Light as we come up to our 4th anniversary,

With love,

Eleanor x

 

 

How CBT helps Children deal with Anxiety: Guest blog by Leigh Adley, therapist at Set Your Mind Free

As we know, children are also vulnerable to anxiety. Unfortunately, many parents believe that this type of mental health problem will only be temporary in nature. For example, they may think that their child’s shyness will disappear as they grow older. However, if this shyness is increasingly interfering with the child’s life as well as their family’s, then obtaining help is of paramount importance. If left untreated, a child’s severe anxiety will in all likelihood deteriorate as they will choose to avoid situations that make them anxious.   

People suffering from anxiety, including children, are often treated with medication, particularly antidepressants. However, there are alternatives available, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help children deal with stress.  

Two decades of research has shown that CBT has been successful in reducing the symptoms of severe anxiety. This therapy also provides children with the tools to identify situations that trigger their anxiety. It also helps them manage the symptoms themselves.

What is CBT?

Cognitive behavioural therapy is used to help people manage their way of thinking and feeling. For example, it can help change distorted thoughts and dysfunctional behavior in order to alter an individual’s emotions. For children, therapists will often focus on getting them to unlearn their undesirable behaviour.     

 

Exposure and response prevention

This is the technique most therapists use for children with anxiety. It is a basic idea whereby a child is exposed to the situations that make them anxious. However, this exposure is structured and incremental and takes place in a safe environment. The goal is to make them accustomed to the triggers so their anxiety response is reduced. 

Exposure therapy has little in common with traditional talking therapy. CBT sessions generally involve talking to the patient to explore the root causes of their anxiety, and they then use this knowledge to alter their behaviour. Once they modify or change their response, the fear also disappears.

Exposure therapy is used for various types of anxiety, such as:

 

Treating anxiety as a person

It is helpful to go to a cognitive behavioral therapist as they will enable a child and their parents to think of the anxiety as an entity that is separate from their identity. The child may consider his or her anxiety to be a bully. To treat the anxiety as a person, the patient may give this bully a name, such as ‘Bossy’. Once the anxiety has been given a form, the CBT therapist can then teach the child how to control this ‘bully’. 

Children are also taught to recognize that anxiety can negatively affect their lives. By letting their fears control them, they miss important events such as:    

  • Sleeping in their own bed
  • Visiting their friends’ homes or going to a restaurant
  • Sharing meals with family or friends

It is also essential that the therapist gains the child’s trust so they can encourage them to face their fears.

 

Steps involved in exposure therapy 

The CBT therapist will firstly identify the triggers. The child will then confront a “pyramid of fears”, namely a sequence of incremental challenges. Every test that the child successfully accomplishes will help build their tolerance to the anxiety.

Before taking the challenges, the child will be asked to consider the degree of difficulty when encountering an uncomfortable situation. For example, a child who is afraid of touching dirt will be asked how difficult it would be (on a scale of 1–10) to write the word ‘dirt’. If they say ‘3’, then saying ‘I will touch dirt today’ could be a ‘5’, seeing a cartoon where a character picks up dirt may merit a ‘7’ and seeing an actual person touch dirt may go up to a ‘9’ on their difficulty scale.

By letting the child rate the scale of difficulty for their various fears, they can distinguish between the easy and extreme levels.

The first exposure trigger should come in its mildest form until the child’s anxiousness subsides. Fear is similar to any sensation; it decreases over time and the child will soon gain some control as the anxiety they feel goes away.

Depending on the severity of the child’s anxiety, a CBT session can take place several times a week, lasting several hours. The exposure often takes place in the CBT office, and then once the child feels comfortable, in an outside environment. For example, children with social anxiety may go outside wearing a funny hat. If they are afraid of germs, the exposure may involve:

  • Riding a bus or train
  • Shaking hands with strangers
  • Eating food without washing their hands

Once they have undergone several vulnerable situations and are feeling more confident, they can try some of the exposure sessions on their own. Parents have a vital role to play in this process. They should encourage their child to tolerate their anxious feelings rather than shielding them.

 

Duration of CBT sessions

It can take 8 to 12 sessions for a child to handle mild to moderate levels of anxiety. In addition, medication can help them reduce their stress while enabling them to engage in the CBT sessions.

 

Conclusion

CBT is a good way of helping children deal with their anxiety. CBT utilises various methods to overcome anxiety, and the exposure and response prevention techniques are particularly suitable for children. The child will confront their fears in increments until they can handle the stress on their own.

However, both the child and their parents need to understand that exposure therapy can be difficult. Nevertheless, once their fears diminish, the family can participate in activities that they previously found difficult.  

 

Author’s bio:

This blog was written by Leigh Adley, Hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist at Set Your Mind Free, based in the UK.

Living with PCOS and Managing Mental Health: Guest blog by Jasveer Atwal

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(image: Jasveer A)

I have lived for over 2 decades with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), yet I had not been diagnosed until in my 30’s. PCOS means you have many follicles on your ovaries, which are underdeveloped sacs. These sacs are unable to release eggs and so ovulation does not occur. There is no medication to cure PCOS but there are alterations, you can make to your life, to make it somewhat manageable.

The indicators for PCOS normally follow the lines of acne, excess hair and irregular periods. All of which I have had since my teenage years (quite obviously). These symptoms were considered separately and the dots were not connected until I went to India to see a dermatologist. As soon as I discussed the aforementioned symptoms, she asked me whether I had been diagnosed with PCOS to which I said no and looked completely dumbfoundedShe asked me to get this checked out and to cut out dairy and sugar, as this was part of the cause of my acne and also helped in my diet. Luckily, I don’t like cheese anyway (how could I not? I know) and so this wasn’t too taxing on me.

Diagnosis

I, then returned to the UK and insisted on having an ultrasound and within 30 seconds it was quite clear I had PCOS. I didn’t really look into it much further, as I was told the only way to look into managing it was with birth control and being active. I didn’t want to use any medication and I was already considering going to the gym. There wasn’t much around PCOS at the time except for the NHS diagnosis.

Little did I know that there was more to PCOS, than the anxiety inducing symptoms of acne and excess hair. For years, I had always had trouble losing weight from my belly and this was after changing my diet to include more wholegrains and less sugar.  But, even after making these changes I had always found that it was really easy for me to put on weight and then extremely hard to lose it. Which I know, is a common problem for most but I found this, even when I was really conscious of what I was eating.

Management and Mental Health

I started going to the gym but this was really hit and miss, as I found it really hard to be consistently active. There would be some points where there wouldn’t be much difference to my weight that just led me to give up. But after some time I decided, I wanted to strengthen my body and started going to the gym to work on my strength.

Working on my strength meant, I was also losing weight as I was more active, however I have still not been able to shift the belly fat. This started becoming extremely frustrating and after looking into it more, PCOS also impacts weight because another symptom is insulin resistance. In short, this means that the body doesn’t respond properly to insulin it makes. Which in turn raises your blood sugar levels and your weight is then affected. It is more common that PCOS sufferer’s bellies, want to hold onto the fat more dearly!

I am now on a mission to get those highly coveted abs. It is a tougher journey than someone without PCOS but it’s about figuring out what works well for your body. I have found that overall exercise is an integral part of my everyday life.

I currently exercise many times a week, which is excessive for some but I find that I need it to manage my mental health and weight. I am finding this difficult at the moment for a number of reasons:

  1. It’s the winter and I suffer from SAD
  2. PCOS also means I have anxiety, low mood and fatigue
  3. Its cold outside and sometimes have to spend 10 minutes scraping my car

So I am trying to battle through these hindrances by going as much as I am able because the exercise helps with my low mood. Trying to be consistent is the best thing for me, otherwise I become entangled in a catch 22 situation which derails the work I have put in place to manage my PCOS.

However, I have also realised that listening to my body and taking a break now and again may be all I need to ease the impact on my mood/anxiety. You constantly have to be aware of how you are feeling which I have found difficult as, I don’t always want to give into the low moods. But sometimes staying in the duvet longer in the morning, may help my mood more than dragging myself to the gym.

Living

Though I am able to manage the effects of PCOS on my body, changing my diet made changes to my body and skin. With my hair I have had to resort to laser treatment. I have recently started to look more into managing my stress, a lot of the stress when I was younger was due to the acne and excess hair.

There were days my acne would cause me not to go out or really dread it. Constantly having to get rid of hair which is conventionally not seen as ‘ladylike’ became tiring. And there were many days, which turned into weeks where I didn’t want to have to manage this anymore. I slowly started making changes and started to see some results. My acne reduced and I was able to work off the weight. However, my anxiety and low mood remained.

For this, I realise I need to manage my stress more intentionally and work on what affects me, my triggers and how I can reduce stress and anxiety. It’s different for each individual. I have found it is something you can manage and I have become more persistent and resilient as a result of having anxiety and low mood related to PCOS.

 

This guest blog was written by blogger Jasveer Atwal, who lives in the UK. She blogs at https://shelved.blog/ and you can find her on Instagram  @shelvedblog .

When Therapy Isn’t Enough–How to Handle Physical and Mental Health Issues: Guest post by Brooke Chaplan

Therapy is the first line option that most people choose when they are dealing with a mental health issue. While therapy is undeniably important, many people struggle with it, even giving up if they feel it isn’t meeting their needs. This isn’t because therapy isn’t important, but because therapy can only do so much when you are physically and financially in situations where you have no power to make lasting change in your life. Dealing with chronic pain and other physical issues can leave you worn out mentally as well, and learning how to deal with both physical and mental issues at the same time is the best way to find relief. True wellness must come from understanding and addressing physical and mental concerns together.

Understand the Connection Between Physical and Mental Health Issues

Chronic pain is exhausting to deal with on a daily basis. Over time, dealing with your pain and the loss of your normal activities can cause you to feel depressed and even anxious about your future. People often develop anxiety about their pain, especially when it seems to worsen without warning and at the worst possible times. Your mental health can also make pain worse. For instance, dealing with PTSD or anxiety causes tension within your body that affects the muscles. It is the same reason why people find that their shoulders ache after a long and stressful day. Understanding this connection will help you to articulate just why you are feeling the way you are, and allow you to talk to both mental health and physical therapists about your unique situation in ways that will let them best help you.

Choose a Program That Focuses on Your Mind and Body

Injuries that leave you unable to do many physical activities, such as spinal or leg injuries, have an impact both on your body and your mind. The best type of back pain treatment involves helping both your mind and body to heal. While you may participate in special exercises and other forms of therapy for your back, you’ll also receive counseling and support that helps you to feel better mentally. For instance, identifying mental health issues that require treatment can help you to learn techniques that help you to avoid focusing on the pain. Meditation and mindfulness are two solutions that often work well with traditional back pain strategies.

Commit to Following the Program

As with any type of therapy, your involvement makes a big difference in the outcome. Although you may feel depressed and in pain, you need to commit to working through it all. Choosing to show up for your treatment even on a bad day helps you to make continuous progress. It might not happen all at once, but you’ll soon begin to see how your treatment plan is working. Committing to physical (physio) therapy programs has also been shown to have positive impact on your ability to handle mental challenges. Remember, you may see your body and mind as two separate things, but your body interprets them both together.

Take Steps to Reduce Stress in Your Life

This is the time to take care of yourself. Take a time out from stressful activities so that you can focus on the treatment. You can also use relaxation strategies to help stop stress from affecting your physical health such as using deep breathing to work through an anxiety attack.

Your mind and body are connected, and you’ll find that each one influences the other. When one type of therapy isn’t enough, it is time to explore new options. Continuing to work on improving both your physical and mental health helps you manage pain and regain control over your life.

 

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most of her time hiking, biking, and gardening. For more information, contact Brooke via Facebook at facebook.com/brooke.chaplan or Twitter @BrookeChaplan

5 Steps to help your Mental Health, Depression and Anxiety: Sponsored by Core Wellness Maryland

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(Image: Pexels)

Depression and anxiety can feel totally overpowering and overwhelming. It can consume you in ways in which it controls you. Your thought patterns, emotional responses, physical energy, and even your short term memory are all affected by depression and anxiety. And because it can feel so dominating, it is vital that you do not try to deal with it alone. Therapy, counselling and all the help that you can possibly get, should always be your first plan of action.

However, there are small yet effective steps that you can practice to cope and manage the severity of your depression and anxiety. Below I’ve listed 5 actions and activities that you should implement into your life daily, while also sticking to an action plan as explained above.

  1. Do something spontaneous, random and out of your usual routine. Depression can make life feel monotonous and mundane to say the least. You do the same things again and again, every day. Or you literally do nothing at all. Duvet days are no longer a Sunday treat, but a compulsion of the mind as you lack the motivation or energy to even leave the bed. That is why forcing yourself to do something spontaneous and different can feel like a breeze of fresh air. And it absolutely does not need to be a demanding task. Keep it simple, keep it easy, and then slowly build up on it on days you feel slightly better. Some ideas are:
  • A quick walk in the morning around the block.
  • Cooking an easy meal.
  • Tidying up something you’ve been procrastinating on.
  • Playing with your pet.
  • Doing easy home diys or even a bit of gardening.

The choices are endless, so feel free to add your own ideas. But just bare in mind that you should start off by keeping it simple and easy so that it doesn’t burn you out or mentally drain you. The feeling of doing something out of your routine, mixed with the feeling of satisfaction of completing a motive, can be a powerful and revitalising feeling.

 

2. Practice gratitude. Make a list.

Grab a pen and paper and write down all the things you own, love and appreciate. All the good things that you have experienced. All the happy memories. The good nostalgia. Things you find beautiful. Add the weirdest or silliest of things – if they make you smile then they should be on this list! Do this daily, even if you don’t feel like it, or even if you can only think of one thing on some days. Trust me, it all counts when you look back on your list a week later, a month later, 6 months later and so on.

 

3. Hold on to that pen and paper because I want you to play a game.

Write the first word that comes to your mind without thinking about it. Then write another word, and then another. Carry on adding to this list for a minute or two. No matter how random, or weirdly nonsensical the words that pop up in your mind are, just carry on writing it and adding it to your list. Once you’re done, analyse your list. Some might actually have absolutely no meaning or weight to your emotional state, but you will definitely find a good bunch that will shed some light to two things: feelings and thoughts that are hidden in your subconscious mind. Additonally,  feelings that you have been suppressing.

If you try to do this daily, you should begin to notice a pattern. Same words might pop up. Or similar words. Or words that are more negative/positive then the days before. It’s a good and unique way of tracking your thought patterns and emotions, while releasing pent up thoughts and feeling that you might’ve not even realised are there. Plus it’s fun!

 

4. Create a positivity board.

Get yourself a board and pin up things that signify your dreams and goals, things that you love and that make you happy. Photos, newspaper or magazine cut outs – anything and everything that defines you or who you want to be. Keep adding to it, and every time you feel your worst, look at this board and think of each thing you have included on it. And remind yourself why.

 

5. Train yourself to be more aware of your surroundings.

Use your 5 senses to their potential. This is practicing mindfulness. Depression can  numb our senses down. Noise can feel like just noise. When really it could be laughter, trees rustling, birds chirping, baby’s cooing, rain tapping, and so many other beautiful things. Depression tells us it’s noise and chaos.

Be more mindful no matter where you are, and you’ll begin to notice things you otherwise wouldn’t have, you’ll see the beauty and peace where you normally see chaos and mental exhaustion. Listen to the rain, notice the beautifully formed clouds above you, look how the trees sway with the wind, feel the rain on your skin. It’s the little things that are the most impactful. And being mindful can calm the heart and soul.

That’s my 5 steps for you. Remember no one and nothing can define you except yourself. Not even depression, not even anxiety. Celebrate this day, and use these steps to improve the quality of your life, even if you don’t suffer from a mental health disorder. If you have any steps of your own, then comment below! 

 

This sponsored post was written for you by Core Wellness Maryland CEU, who can be found at https://corewellceu.com/

10 Signs that you may have an Anxiety Disorder: Guest post by Capillus

You might feel like a worrier—someone who is unable to let the little things slide, who becomes agitated by small shifts in your schedule, who is kept up at night at the thought of something you said earlier in the day. We all feel worry now and then, but there are people who have an inclination to feel concern and apprehension more than others. If you’re someone who often finds yourself feeling uneasy, fearful, stressed-out, and tense, you might have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Worrying over the Small Things 

Are the most basic daily tasks—brushing your teeth, taking out the garbage, commuting to work—stressing you out on a regular basis? Do you find that your usual routine is becoming burdensome, making you feel short of breath and unable to focus elsewhere? If so, it’s likely that you’re undergoing some form of GAD. This is a common symptom of GAD, in that people will become overwhelmed by activities that once were normal, leading them to feel stressed and burdened in the face of small tasks.   

Insomnia and Sleep Issues 

Whether it’s due to obsessive cyclical thinking or worrying about things that might have happened earlier in the day, there are many people who are kept awake, either unable to sleep at all or regularly disturbed from their sleep during the night. Insomnia can be brought on by various factors, either by an inability to quell your mind prior to going to sleep or increased cortisol levels, which will leave your body in its “fight or flight” mode even at night. 

Daily Fatigue 

Often as a result of insomnia or poor sleep, daily fatigue can be another symptom found in people with GAD. Without enough rest in the evening, the body and mind will feel sluggish during the day, leaving you exhausted and unable to focus.

Other factors can lead to such fatigue, but they might be wrapped up in other factors of anxiety, whether you are using stimulants such as coffee or alcohol to mentally balance yourself during the day or you are stress-eating unhealthy food as a reaction to increases in overall anxiety. 

Upset Stomach and Indigestion

GAD manifests itself in many different symptoms, and some of the most common ones are physical. A common side effect people have when struggling with GAD is stomach distress, including indigestion, constipation, diarrhea, ulcers, and more. Anxiety itself can lead to stomach issues, but, as said above, other lifestyle decisions made while struggling with anxiety can further exacerbate digestion issues, including poor diet, increased alcohol consumption, poor sleep, etc.

Difficulty Concentrating

A common side effect found in people dealing with GAD is the inability to focus during the day. Laboured by concerns, fears, and fatigue, those with GAD will sometimes find it difficult to completely focus on a task without being derailed by some other worrying quality or event. 

General Agitation and Discomfort

Quick to become aggravated by general unease and things not going your way? Do you feel ill when attempting to talk in public or in under-populated social scenarios? Are shifts in your daily routine cause for unease and panic? These can all be signs of GAD, as the mind becomes easily perturbed by occurrences and situations it might not expect or want. It’s a struggle to deal with such responses, and it can be difficult to break yourself out of such negative cyclical thinking under such circumstances, but you should do your best to be aware of when such thinking crops up. 

Muscle Pain and Discomfort 

One side effect of anxiety often not discussed is that of physical pain. Whether it’s muscle tension, tension headaches, hand tremors, chest tightness, or feeling as if you’re unable to breathe, anxiety can lead to detrimental physical responses that might be cause for concern. 

Hair Loss and Thinning 

Along with other physical effects that anxiety can bring about, one of the more common ones is an effect on hair. GAD can lead to hair becoming thin, brittle, and falling out, both on the head and around the body. For some people already struggling with genetic hair loss, anxiety can lead to hair loss and thinning becoming increasingly worse. Thankfully, there are treatment methods available to facilitate hair regrowth, so you shouldn’t be too worried if you notice the first signs of thinning. 

Panic Attacks

You’re likely to know a panic attack if you’ve ever experienced one. Brought about by an intense feeling of fear, unease, and physical symptoms, panic attacks can be a debilitating response to extreme anxiety. The level of response will depend on the person and the level of anxiety, but they are serious reactions to the feeling of a perceived threat. Please reach for medical support from a doctor, if you need it.

Self-Deprecation

If you are regularly feeling down on yourself, feeling as if you cannot meet the standards of perfection or do not match the image you have of yourself, you might be struggling with anxiety. GAD can often leave people obsessed with a self-described definition of who they should be, and anything beneath that can be a never-ending cause of compounding insecurity. If you feel as if you don’t look good enough, aren’t performing as well as you should, or are unsure of your general abilities at work, school, or elsewhere, these underlying feelings might be brought on by anxiety. 

While some of these signs can be symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, it is important to remember that we shouldn’t self-diagnose ourselves with general mood disorders. If you’re concerned that you might have GAD, you should meet and discuss these symptoms with your primary care physician (in the UK, GP) or a therapist—someone who can provide you with a diagnosis and thus help you alleviate said symptoms for the betterment of your mental health.  

 

This unsponsored guest blog was written by Capillus at www.capillus.com , a hair loss treatment brand with medical expertise.

 

Expressing Social Anxiety through Songwriting: Alive: Guest blog by Rachel Leycroft

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(image: Rachel Leycroft)

Rachel experienced severe social anxiety in many forms for the majority of her life. Like many others, she felt it was crucial to hide this at all costs, despite the paralysing pain it often caused. Her therapeutic form of expression was always through songwriting, & she wrote “Alive” at 19-years-old while in college.

It was a time when she went to extremes to uphold an image of fearless confidence, regardless of the toll it took on her well-being. Rachel didn’t realize how many others suffered from similar experiences until a number of years later. With this realisation, she started a project called #lovethroughlyrics where she shares her songs in hopes of reminding others that they are not alone in their struggles.

“Alive” is a metaphorical view of the wish to escape social anxiety. In the song, Rachel relates social anxiety to the feeling of being weighted down and asks to give up aspects of herself that are not being represented with authenticity. Ultimately, she asks to give enough away to free herself & escape the burdensome fear of others’ judgments. “Falling into the horizon” represents the weights of our insecurities being lifted; it’s a moment that lights our souls alive, reminding us that our authentic selves are timeless. They have always been within us, but are often masked by our fears and our desire to be accepted.

Rachel hopes to encourage others to reconnect with their true selves again, no matter how many years they have been hidden. Her greatest wish is to evoke compassion toward ourselves & one another by giving mental health a voice through music.

You can read the lyrics to “Alive” below & listen to the song (original & acoustic) on any music platform by going here: https://fanlink.to/rachelleycroft_alive-acoustic 

Rachel would be happy to connect with you via Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/rachelleycroft/

 

How to Deal With Social Anxiety, Social Phobia and Depression: Guest post by CBT Toronto

Millions of people around the world suffer from social anxiety, social phobia, and depression. Unfortunately, due to the stigma that is still associated with mental illness around the world, many people try to hide their problems and suffer in silence. Left untreated, social anxiety, social phobia, and depression can lead to isolation, physical health problems, and even suicide. 

Fortunately, there are many treatment modalities available,. This can help sufferers obtain the support and relief that they need and deserve. Here, we will focus on some simple yet effective ways that you, or someone that you love, can alleviate social anxiety, social phobia, and depressive symptoms with tact, integrity, and verve.

 

Risks of Having Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression

Certain individuals may be genetically predisposed to social anxiety disorders or clinical depression, as well as seasonal affective disorder, chronic stress, anger, and generalized anxiety disorder. However, other non-genetic factors may influence whether or not a person develops a social anxiety disorder or depression in their lifetime.

For instance, if you are currently dealing with substance abuse issues, such as excess consumption of alcohol or narcotics, then you may be at an increased risk of developing a social anxiety disorder or chronic depression. Unfortunately, many people will turn to drugs and alcohol in an attempt to numb their pain. This puts their bodies at risk of developing a tolerance or resistance to such illicit substances; which can lead those individuals down a path of destruction.

If you are having trouble communicating with others, whether at home or work or are having trouble being productive in your day-to-day life, then you may be suffering from a cognitive impairment or mental health disorder. If you notice that you are not responding to the treatment that your doctor or mental health care professional has prescribed, whether it be cognitive behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, or medication. 

If so, please speak to your doctor, as they may need to adjust your treatment or try a new treatment method. Suicidal ideation is also a serious red flag, and if you have suddenly developed severe thoughts of harming yourself, please seek immediate medical attention.  

What Prevents Social Anxiety Disorder Patients From Accessing Mental Health Care?

Many people who suffer from social anxiety ,blame themselves for their issues. As such, they may refuse to seek outside help to address and rectify their health problems. Furthermore, many people who suffer from SAD are actually unaware that such a condition exists, or may not know who to turn to in order to receive the necessary treatment. 

In fact, it can be argued that many doctors, and most of the general public, are unaware of SAD or how to best tackle the matter. As such, there may be very little help available to those who suffer from the disorder; whether it be medical, moral, or emotional.

 

Does Social Phobia Run in Families?

There have been studies conducted indicating that a person’s risk of developing a social phobia disorder may be elevated if someone in their family has or had the same issue. Moreover, the correlation vs causation interplay between psychiatric and serotonin disorders is also something that many medical experts in the field are aware of. 

That is, while most agree that there is a marked connection between SAD, depression, and serotonin, medical experts are uncertain about which comes first in terms of driving said correlation between the disorders.

 

How to Deal With Social Anxiety Disorder

SAD can often be overcome by getting moral support from friends and family. The key is to interact with loved ones in a respectful and supportive environment so that the person can overcome their problem. Also, it should be noted that many people who suffer from chronic depression do not actually understand why they feel the way they do. 

In other words, many of the feelings or behaviours that they exhibit are automatic and deeply ingrained into their thought process and psyche. It is the responsibility of their loved ones to care and support them by sympathizing with their condition and helping them process their emotions in a safe and healthy manner.

In addition, many studies have found that patients with SAD who undergo cognitive behaviour therapy report a significant improvement in their anxious or depressive symptoms. In some cases, patients may be treated with a combination of cognitive behaviour therapy and medications. This could include Busperione, Remeron, Paxil, Celexa, Trintalex, or other medicines that are commonly used to help those who suffer from anxiety or depressive disorders.

Also, if your symptoms are relatively minor, then there are techniques that you can implement yourself to obtain near-immediate relief. For instance, if you find yourself in a situation that elevates your stress and anxiety levels, then you can practice deep-breathing exercises before the situation escalates.  

If you suffer from social anxiety, then you should try to slowly cultivate your social connections. Doing so can not only help you eventually overcome your social anxiety but may also help alleviate feelings of depression that often result from social isolation. This is known as exposure therapy and can be helpful.

There are other ways to help deal with anxiety and depression. For instance, studies have found that listening to music that you enjoy releases hormones that help promote relaxation. Exercise has many mental as well as physical health benefits. The release of oxytocin and endorphins can help counteract the release of cortisol and other harmful hormones that can exacerbate anxiety and depression.  A healthy and balanced diet can help rectify certain hormonal balances and nutritional deficiencies that can cause lethargy, depression, irritability, and anxiety in some people.

Most importantly get help from a GP doctor or therapist if things are getting too much. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.

This guest post is by CBT Toronto, based in Canada.

If you would like to learn more about social anxiety treatments in Toronto or would like to obtain social anxiety treatments in Toronto, then please visit our website or give us a call at 416-817-8925. We specialize in PTSD, OCD, BDD, depression, couples therapy, and anxiety disorders.