Tag: Depression

The best way to support a friend or family member through anxiety and depression.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

I have been asked by my friends to write an article about how best to support someone through a mental health issue. There is not a one sized fits all answer, due to the fact that every illness and person is unique with their own brain chemistry and life experience. However, I am  going to offer a few tips on what you can do if someone is suffering from an anxiety disorder or depression (for this article I am going to leave out other illnesses eg bipolar, schizophrenia, psychosis, addictions but will speak about them at a later date)

So what can you do if your loved one is suffering from  an anxiety disorder/ depression?

Anxiety disorders are a group of multi faceted disorders which can include things like generalised anxiety, social anxiety, health anxiety, OCD, PTSD and more. Your loved one may be suffering from lack of sleep, nightmares, inability to sit still, palpitations, racing or obsessive thoughts, panic attacks and hyperventilation. They may feel more on edge, or in the case of OCD- be checking and analysing everything. Anxiety disorders run in certain patterns and all are unique to the individual- what one person with anxiety may have will be different to another, however there are some general patterns to anxiety.

When a person is suffering from anxiety, they may also have physical health symptoms as above due to the increase in adrenaline and the stress hormone, cortisol.

Depression or depressive disorders are sometimes caused due to a chemical imbalance in the brain (not enough seretonin) and can require medication to return the brain to its usual state. Some are a mixture of chemical imbalance and challenging life experiences or brought on from a period of stress eg divorce, moving house, losing a baby, having a baby, being unemployed etc . Symptoms typically can include loss of motivation, feeling tearful, low and hopeless, not wanting to engage socially or be involved with activities one enjoys.

If your loved one is suffering from anxiety or depression the best way you can help is by speaking and interacting with them calmly- not judging them or accusing them of anything bad, but simply being a laid back, supportive friend or partner. If someone can’t socialise, its best to just text once in a while and check up on how they are doing- or send a hand written note or card. Most importantly, do not pressure the person to see you, talk to you or go out.. but just be there for them calmly as a listening ear and encourage them to do small achievable things for themselves.

It is good to encourage your friend to go out with you but not to pressurise. Similarly, getting a bit of fresh air can help. If your friend or loved one is at crisis point ie threatening to take their own life, feeling suicidal, not eating or sleeping and being involved in self harming or risk taking behaviours, it is very important to do the following:

1) If a friend is suicidal, listen to them but do not promise to keep it a secret. You must tell their nearest relative/ best friend/ someone they trust if you believe they are in danger of a suicide attempt or at harm to themselves . Encourage them to see their GP immediately or speak to a help line and the GP will be able to tell you if a psychiatric referral is needed. A psychiatrist and team known as the Crisis Team will then  step in to help.

2) If a loved one you live with is suicidal, go with them to the Doctor or get a doctor to come out to you. There is stigma around this BUT if your loved one is really ill and their brain is effectively temporarily ‘broken’ much like a broken leg, it needs fixing. Your loved one needs help and support to recover whether its medication, counselling or more support at home. Do not blame yourself. This is an illness- not something you have done.

Ultimately, be loving, caring and supportive and CALM- however angry or frustrated you feel. Being frustrated to someone who is unwell can cause them to have feelings of guilt, low self esteem or worthlessness which the depression/ anxiety may perpetuate.

Be there as a support and listening ear but make sure you have a break and take time for you too.

Guest post: 5 easy yet effective ways to calm yourself down when feeling anxious

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

By Lystia Putranto and Karina Ramos at www.bookmeditationretreats.com

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged; it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.

– Arthur Somers Roche

Sometimes nothing feels quite as awful than anxiety. In this state of mind, we tend to think of only the worst case scenarios. It robs us of our joy, makes us lose focus and leaves us feeling as if we have no control over our own lives.

Fortunately for us, there’s much we can do to reduce anxiety and its effects on our mind, body, and soul. Here are simple and fuss-free tips to apply that I have found to be effective to help me establish and maintain a calmer peace of mind in situations that previously would send me into a tailspin:

  1. Take Deep Breaths

It seems hard to believe that one of the simplest actions that you can take – taking deep breaths – may just be one of the most effective ways to calm ourselves down when we feel an anxiety attack coming on. Breathing deeply differs from our normal breathing (shallow breathing) as it requires your focus to breathe from your diaphragm as opposed to just breathing from your nose. Moreover, shallow breathing may often feel tense and constricted, whereas deep breathing induces relaxation.

By just taking a minimum of 10 deep breaths whenever you find yourself feeling anxious, you can instantly feel more peaceful and more importantly, it could bring our focus back to the present moment even in moments of panic or extreme anxiety. Through focusing our attention in the present moment, we are able to give our best effort in finding solutions to the issue(s) we worry about. Another great thing about this anxiety-reducing tool is that it is also accessible to you whenever and wherever you need it.

If you’re looking to gain a more lasting effect that you get from deep breathing, I highly recommend that you take up the practice of meditation. Not only will you be able to feel more at ease and calmer, you’re bound to also reap the many other benefits that come with meditation!

 2 Listen to Inspiring Tunes

I’m a true believer in the power of music and great tunes can be a great tool in lifting our spirits whenever we feel anxious or overwhelmed. Create a special playlist of your favorite inspiring (preferably upbeat) tunes and be sure to have them on hand to give you a spirit boost whenever you feel less than stellar. If you’re up for it, why not kick it up a notch and have yourself a dance party of one while you are listening to favorite music! It may sound silly but I personally have found it to be a great and quick way to lift my spirit and shake off those pesky anxieties.

 

  1. Let it Out

When we are plagued with anxiety, one of the best ways to alleviate yourself from that palpable worry is to talk it out with someone you trust. One of the toughest things to deal with when it comes to anxiety is the facade that you are alone and that you are the only one in the world who is going through challenging times. Feeling anxious and feeling like you have to keep it all bottled up is unhealthy and can often feel excruciatingly difficult.

The truth is, all of us have experienced anxiety and worry and this is why it is crucial for us to be able to turn to our spouse, friend, parent or sibling and share our troublesome thoughts. More often than not, you’d find that they too have experienced similar situations and would able to offer solutions to help you or at the very least, lend an emphatic shoulder to lean on.

 

  1. Jot it Down

If for one reason or another you feel uncomfortable sharing your feelings and thoughts to others, an alternative tool you can use is to keep a journal. That way, you can “spill” whatever you are going throughout and/or feeling in private. There’s something soothing and cathartic in writing out your inner most thoughts into paper that often leaves you feeling calmer and more at peace.

As someone who has journaled regularly since her early teen years, it became evident that most of my anxieties were just stories that I created and that my worries were far from being real. In writing our thoughts down consistently, you too may found most things that you have previously felt anxious or worried about in the past never actually end up happening. Our minds like to play tricks on us, making us focus on the worst scenarios of situations as opposed to what’s actually real and this is definitely something worth keeping in mind the next time we find ourselves filled with worry. As Dan Zadra, a renowned author said, “Worry is a misuse of imagination”.

 

  1. Get Physically Active

Science has provided much evidence that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people (those who are not physically active). Exercise may also improve mental health by helping the brain cope better with stress and feelings of worry. In one study, researchers found that those who do regular vigorous exercise were 25 % less likely to develop depression or an anxiety disorder.

Whatever type of exercises you prefer, aside from being extremely beneficial to our health and fitness, making sure that you get your regular dose of exercise is a great way to reduce anxiety. Though it sounds counter-intuitive, exercise actually increases our endorphin levels which are our body’s “feel good” chemicals and this, as a result, helps us burn off excess adrenaline that we produce when we are at a heightened state of anxiety.
About Lystia Putranto

Lystia is a personal & professional development blogger who seeks to inspire and to motivate people to create and to live out their best lives. A proponent of meditation, she actively encourages those who seek to become their best selves to integrate meditation as part of their daily routine.