I have decided to keep posting in the hope that one day this will become a tool to help other people through what I go through on a regular basis. It is also so therapeutic to write and who knows maybe this will help someone somewhere one day!
So- at the end of last week I was unable to attend my job interview. I had felt panicked and stressed and sweaty, with constant anxious thoughts and was tired from lack of sleep. However, I was able to contact them and let them know I would reschedule which I have for tomorrow morning. This is what I shall name ‘the anxiety low‘. Aka- I gave in to it and wasn’t able to push through it.
Of course, this then dented my confidence and meant I cancelled an arrangement with a friend for lunch the following day. Yet, the most surprising part of my weekend was that I felt able to go out to a comedy gig with my siblings and I didn’t panic or feel overly anxious. Then the following day, despite having anticipatory anxiety beforehand, I was able with the help of friends to go to a close friends baby shower party. Which was so much fun and I didn’t have any form of panic attack! (The anxiety win/high).
It was so lovely just to be around friends and smiling and enjoying myself, and celebrating something so wonderful. So going out both days without panicking has given me a confidence boost which I hope and pray will help me get through my interview and eventually go on that date I cancelled. But one thing at a time.
Having an ‘anxiety win’ is sometimes the best thing of all 🙂 – especially when you have had a horrible time. My real test will be tomorrow. Fingers crossed it will go alright!