Today has felt like a total rollercoaster and sequence of events. I had a job interview and so was up at 6am to get up, prepare and leave the house to go to Starbucks. I handwrote some of the following before my interview, I decided to include it to give you an insight into the mind of someone with anticipatory anxiety.
This morning I woke up and didn’t panic but was able to get out the house early thanks to feeling the fear and doing it anyway as well as the support of my family and friends. I was determined not to give up this opportunity to go for the job I wanted, whether I got it or not.
I am now sitting in Starbucks preparing, people watching and watching the world go by. I have my drink, my pen and a warm place to watch the world.
There has been a lot of change and upheaval in my life of late. My confidence has been knocked. Either way, now is the time to nurture myself, try and build a career again and most importantly build that confidence back! I have been through a lot in the past few years….so much that in times of stress my anxiety gets worse.
So what has helped me manage my panic? Often my therapist has said to me if I want something to happen,more than the panic, if something is really truly important to me then I will find a way to do it. So far this morning my body has not yet had the anxiety instinctive fight or flight response. Yet I have butterflies and want it to go well
10.20am Coffee house near prospective employer
I am now in my second coffee house of the day….but not drinking coffee as the caffeine makes my nerves worse. It is a quirky, artsy independent shop..a good bolt hole. So how am I feeling?
My interview is soon at a school. I am alright but have slightly heightened anxiety and am feeling hot and sweaty. I have prepared as much as I can and now I shall feel the fear but do it despite the fear. And breathe….
Result! I went with the nerves and the interviewers put me at great ease. I felt relaxed there. I answered all their questions and they told me that they would call me later that day.
And I can very happily report that they called and it was positive news! So happy and will write more once all is finalised.
I am now very very tired though! Hi to any new readers…do give me your thoughts.