Category: Employment

Smiling through the rain: Early morning anxiety and life with bipolar.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 7 Comments

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Its been almost a week or so since I have written a blog and thats because life has been hard lately. Due to my early morning panic attacks and increased anxiety about leaving the house at that time, I couldn’t get in to work. Luckily, I can do online work on home doing social media and writing, so that is one major plus point. However, currently I am seeking extra support about my morning anxiety and fears.

I have lived with my anxiety disorder for most of my life- it comes in times of stress or times when I get triggered by something I can’t always explain- having to get up early and achieve, having to show up in the morning despite feeling so quivery and vulnerable, having to feel like I can cope- when inside I feel so scared. For reasons I can’t always pinpoint.

I have tried so many therapies and I would say with me, I have to use things in combination like breathing techniques, meditation, distraction, colouring and exposure therapy. However, now I would very much like  to find a psychological therapy that works for me. I have had 3 lots of cognitive behavioural therapy, which for me doesn’t seem to take away the fear. It is helpful for understanding limiting beliefs  like ‘I’m not good enough’  or ‘ I can’t do this, I will mess up’  and then understand where these fears come from and how they impact on life.

Briefly I will explain that I believe these limiting beliefs have come about because of trauma. The trauma of being hospitalised a few years ago for my bipolar disorder and having to learn to live life and get back to normality again despite disruption. The trauma of not feeling good enough, not feeling like I can live up to my perfectionist standards- not wanting to let people in my life down or me down . Feeling like I have to really achieve and be good at everything I do, because this belief has helped me fight, fight, fight for life and everything in it.

I, like many others with mental health issues, am hard on myself. I have a little voice though that won’t be tamed and is constantly pushing me to achieve and help people, help myself, be better. This is because I know the pain of setback. I know the pain of fear. and I know the pain of being confined to a hospital ward. So when I am well- nothing will stop me. The panic attacks may stop part of my life, but they won’t stop me from telling my story and reaching others. They wont stop me from being able to live and being able to touch peoples hearts through my writing (this is what I strive for).

Right now, I am dreaming about so much and hoping to put these dreams into reality. I will get therapy and I will get better with much effort and time. I will not let this keep me down- because I, like so many with my conditions, am a fighter and I will make sure that I live life to the full.

And part of this therapy is writing on my blog and being authentic, real and honest. And being blessed and thankful for my medical team, family, boyfriend, friends and support networks. Support is everything and I am so lucky.

Thanks for reading <3.

Peer Support Work: A New Adventure

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

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I very much felt inspired to write today because its Friday and on Monday I begin my new job role as a Peer Support Worker for a mental health charity here in the UK.

Peer support takes people like me who have lived experience of mental health issues and are in recovery, and able to promote or assist wellness and recovery in others. This can be done through therapeutic groups, talking to service users and working in a collaborative team of occupational therapists, social workers and mental health coordinators. A lot of the work I will be doing is confidential so I won’t be able to disclose it here.

Its such an amazing- yet strange turn of events to be on the ‘other side’ (i.e. not a service user myself). I am embarking on a very new and exciting journey and very thankful to be able to help others.

I also just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who reads, likes, follows my blog. I will continue to blog and share mine and others stories.

National Stress Awareness Day- ISMA

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Here at Be Ur Own Light, we promote good health and wellness. We were delighted to learn about a stress management initiative – National Stress Awareness Day – that has been in existence for almost 20 years in the UK.  The founder is Carole Spiers, Motivational Speaker and CEO of the Carole Spiers Group (CSG), a stress management consultant who is also Chair of the International Stress Management Association (ISMAUK).

ISMAUK is a charity and was established in 1974.  They are a membership organisation and set professional standards dedicated to excellence and best practice.  Their mission is to promote stress prevention and wellbeing.

This year, for National Stress Awareness day, they focused on stress for employees in the workplace.

As Spiers writes, ‘It is vital that the stigma of stress is removed and that stress is accepted as a mental health issue both nationally and internationally. Employees are an organisation’s most valuable resource.  It is very difficult to replace this human asset which is why ‘workforce wellness’ is an organisational imperative’. (ISMAUK)

National Stress Awareness Day – Wednesday 2nd November 2016

This year, National Stress Awareness Day took place on 2nd November and its theme for this year was ‘Workforce Wellness – your Prime Investment’.

Founded in 1998, the day runs annually on the first Wednesday of November and its aim is to educate people on the recognition of stress in self and others together with providing solutions and strategies.

Activities take place throughout the country that provide training, advice and consultancy. Last year, the day was talked about widely with over 121,000 comments alone discussing it on Twitter!

Through ISMA’s global reach, Stress Awareness Day is also run throughout the world.

Spiers continues, ‘The Carole Spiers Group proactively educate employees on how to build a healthy workplace culture. Through our nationwide employee counselling service and range of resilience and organisational change training programmes, our aim is to provide solutions and strategies to help people manage stress – both at home and at work.’

So how can you get involved with next years National Stress Awareness Day?
If you are already an ISMA member, you can organise an ISMA workshop for your employees and colleagues, deliver presentations on the subject and talk to the press and on social media to further raise awareness. A reduced rate pack is on the ISMA website to help you get started! http://bit.ly/1RyIZKL

This packs contains powerpoint slides, workbooks and media guidance to help you get the most out of your Stress Awareness Day.
For more information on ISMA and Stress Management Day on  2nd November each year, email info@carolespiersgroup.co.uk  and tweet about it using the handle #nationalstressawarenessday

Starting over.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Its been about 2 weeks now since I left my new job in the primary school to work for my Dad as his PA in his new radio station company. I find it much easier to manage my anxiety when I can work freelance and independently at home and I find that I can take breaks when I need to- and work when I can, which is more helpful for my health currently

It is a shame because I was hoping to be a teacher, but I have to take time out to heal myself and get myself fully well. The work I am doing for my Dad is probably temporary but it currently suits us both and I am enjoying it. Other than that, I have been seeing my friends and trying to tackle each day with positivity.

This year has been a major journey of self discovery and I hope that I will be able to build a career in the field I choose and not get morning panic attacks as severely. Hence, why for the moment I am taking a break from teaching to heal my anxiety.

In terms of therapy, I am thinking about doing the Linden Method home learning program to help my panic. I certainly am feeling a lot better but still get anxious from time to time about social arrangements.

Heres to starting over- new beginnings.

Pre Work Anxiety

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

Last week, I started my new job in a primary school. I went in both days, didn’t feel too anxious, enjoyed meeting the children and their parents and chatted to my new colleagues. I did really well. However, I have a break of almost a week before I go in again and this exacerbates my anxiety symptoms as I start worrying about the next day.

I have written before about pre work anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes I am absolutely fine and just a little nervous. Yet other times, I dread the day and worry about seeing people or coping with the demands of the day. Then, I don’t go into work. I have a block and feel like I can’t move or do anything for that period of time. I just have to get the fear to go away and then I down tools, which obviously is not great from an employers perspective.

However, I can’t do this any more. I have discovered a new app that has calming exercises and I must find a therapy option that works for me.

From googling this, I can see that other people suffer from this too. To quote a fellow sufferer on the hilariously named crazyboards.org,

‘ I go through this foolishness every day.

An hour before i leave for work i am DREADING leaving my house and imagining all sorts of horrible things happening at my job. the sense of anxiety is so huge, i mean need to medicate it huge. i cannot stay still to enjoy a morning coffee. i’m too nervous.’

I don’t use anxiety medication- however I do need to find ways to feel the fear and do it anyway. In truth because nothing is scarier than what is in my mind.

In the words of my favourite singer Jessie J- ‘Its OK not to be OK’