As always, life seems to swirl past in a riotous amount of colour and equal chaos. Sometimes, I am feeling good and able to conquer the anxiety demons and sometimes, i have to succumb and find myself trying to sleep away the sensations of fear.
I had a very positive weekend and week on the whole. I am managing at work and on Saturday (Jewish Sabbath-shabbat) I went out to family friends for a yum lunch and caught up with a good friend afterwards in the afternoon. Yet, sunday morning I woke up and everything felt too much.
I often get like this when I do a lot, I will have a day after where my heart beats fast and I get butterflies in my tummy and want to hide away. I am so trying to deal with this but it feels like anxiety coexists with me waiting to strike when I am tired or stressed. Its also mainly socially based- and I hope one day I will be able to deal with it a bit better.
I feel terrible if i have to cancel social plans because of it. Yet, I must praise myself too for having many good days this week.
About to go to work now, its Monday morning, and I am hoping this week will be good too.
Its so hard to judge when you have anxiety in the background but I won’t let it beat me.
Last week I went to see Giselle with my auntie which was so lovely. It is a beautiful ballet about love and loss. We saw it on a live stream at an Everyman cinema and it was wonderful.