If my life had a word for the past few months it would be anxiety. Since the nights have been drawing in, my anxiety/ panic has got worse. I tried going to therapy but was too anxious to leave the house despite knowing I really needed it. I had to miss a friends wedding because my level of panic and adrenaline was so high. Ive turned down party invites and I have had to cancel arrangements with friends.
My social anxiety is bad right now. The worst part is its hidden to the outside world and I wake up sometimes very anxious.
Im going to try and challenge the thoughts and socialise slowly, expose myself to the feared triggers slowly. But im exhausted by my panic disorder. Essentially I keep having panic attacks but I need to learn to sit with and deal with them.
Its hard sharing this.
Any advice? I want to create a beautiful life without fear.
Eleanor x
beurownlight.com 
Hi Eleanor.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience of anxiety and the impact that its having upon your life.
I couldn’t go outside 2 and a half years ago, and there are times now where it still peaks.
I can only speak from my own experience and say what has and still does help me.
I got a camera 2 and a half years ago. It gave me a reason to go outside. And it put an obstacle between my face and the world. I found that I could hide behind my camera. Slowly I ventured out further. As I slowed down to make a better photo, I ventured into the present moment and my anxiety eased. The hard part was getting out. I knew I couldn’t wait until I felt better to go out. I had to go out despite feeling anxious.
Mindfulness helped tremendously. The 5,4,3,2,1 technique was best.
Look at 5 different objects, then touch 4 things (really notice how they feel), listen for 3 different sounds, smell 2 aromas, and taste 1 thing. It was so helpful and created a mini break from the anxiety.
I also attended a free online mindfulness course. I’ll leave the link below.
Best wishes. Richard
https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/mindfulness-wellbeing-performance#section-dates
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Thank you so so much this is all hugely helpful
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My pleasure
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I do hope you’re okay. I just wanted to say what a special place you’ve created here with your blog. It’s a beautiful space. I empathise with your struggles, experiencing much of it myself, and watching a loved one with BPD.
You’re very brave.
I’ve learnt from many kind souls that being gentle to yourself can really reduce anxiety. Accepting it and then treating yourself with compassion and acknowledging the tough struggle but how brave you are in those moments – it’s a powerful tool. Not easy, but it becomes easier as you go long. Speak to yourself kindly and sensitively, like you have a friend right there holding your hand. Xxx I do hope that brings some comfort. All good wishes to you. Xx
Milly, Bridies Meadow.
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Thank you so much Milly, so kind of you to say and write to me. I will keep working on my anxiety xxx
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Xxxx take good care xxx
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I feel you sister!! I have been there like so many others. Please be kind to yourself. Even though you might not be achieving your biggest goals, try your best to achieve little goals each day and really feel proud of yourself for them. I am not cured by any means but celebrating what I have done what a transformation to my style x
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Thank you so much i will xxx
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