We are 7! On Be Ur Own Light’s 7th Blog Anniversary by Eleanor

On the 1st March 2016, I started this blog as a way to provide therapy for myself- as I was going through panic attacks, (caused by trauma). Can you believe that was 7 years ago?! I can’t! Since then I have had several years of therapy and my life changed so much too for the better- I met my husband, we got married and moved to our first home.

The blog has turned into a book Bring me to Light (with Trigger), writing for Metro.co.uk, Glamour, the Telegraph, Happiful, Rethink Mental Illness, Mind and other incredible organisations, I have partnered with large and small brands, charities, businesses, writers to create content that battles stigma on mental health. We have been awarded as a Top 10 UK blog by Vuelio since 2018 (thank you) and I love to share my story to help others and educate people about bipolar, anxiety, panic disorders, psychosis, mania and mental health in the workplace (amongst other mental health topics!). I have also recorded podcasts and have begun speaking in the community about bipolar with my Dad.

I cannot believe it has been 7 years since I opened up my computer to write- I was struggling. a lot. Writing has been such a therapy and a saviour to me.. and I hope this blog helps you too!

As always, I want to thank all my contributors and brands (sponsored or not), as well as the digital agencies and freelance writers who provide content too.

This year March 22- 23 we have featured (where it says my name, I wrote it!)

How to Stay Motivated When You’re Feeling Lost: Tracie Johnson

Change the Story Campaign- Eating Disorder Stereotypes- Hope Virgo

Performance of She Used To Be Mine (Sara Bareilles) by Nicolina Bozzo- Eleanor

5 Tips on How To Talk To Your Boss About Mental Health- freelance writer

Does Retail Therapy help your mental health?– freelance writer

9 Tips On Prioritising Your Mental Health while raising children- freelance writer

How to Keep a Good Mindset with Physical Therapy – Sierra Powell

Bipolar and Perinatal mental health- Eleanor

4 Types of Alcohol Addiction Services You can Turn To for Help- Rachelle Wilber

How to Transform Social Anxiety – Lewis McDonnell at Phobia Support Forum

What It’s Like To Go Through Severe Depression as a Bipolar Episode- Eleanor

What To Do When You Feel Alone- Eleanor

4 Reasons to Cook For Yourself- freelance writer

Learning to Embrace Schizoaffective Disorder -Mental Health Awareness Week- James Lindsay

Promoting wellbeing, good mental health and reducing stress in the elderly- freelance writer

Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog Award from Vuelio- Eleanor

Mental health, low self esteem, body image and fashion- freelance writer

What It Means To Have an NHS Perinatal Psychiatry Meeting- Eleanor

Unbroken- How Madeleine Black learnt to heal after sexual violence- Eleanor

What Tools Go Into Substance Abuse Treatment- Kara Masterson

Living with Anxiety- Promoting Mental Health and Success In the Workplace- Erin Hallett

How to know if you have an eating disorder and what to do next- Rachelle Wilber

How can I help an alcoholic or addict parent?- Chaye McIntosh

Boost Your Confidence- freelance writer

Taking Lithium for Bipolar Disorder- Side Effects – Eleanor

4 Effective Ways to Boost Your Mood- freelance writer

Knowing when its right to seek substance abuse treatment- Rachelle Wilber

Protecting mental health, a guide- The Mental Health Foundation

Letting go of hurtful memories to be happier- freelance writer

Group therapy and healing- Lizzie Weakley

Mental health medication and heatwave side effects- Eleanor

How to Create Healthy Daily habits- Sierra Powell

3 Journalling Techniques for Improved Mental Health- freelance writer

Looking after elderly parents- freelance writer

Thank you to a mental health nurse for sharing my book – Eleanor

Interview on Living with Bipolar with Best For You NHS- Eleanor

5 Tips for Communicating with Someone with Dementia- freelance writer

7 Tips to Help Your Personality Shine Through- freelance writer

Sleep Expert on how to stay cool on hot nights- freelance writer

Book Review of my book Bring me to Light by Deb Wilk- Eleanor

4 kinds of Therapy to consider- Rachelle Wilber

Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- Dr Joann Mundin

Are work places doing enough for mental health post-covid? – freelance writer

Mental Health at Work: First Aid products- writer

The Anxiety Train- a New Year- Eleanor

PTSD therapies and what is right for you- Kara Masterson

Managing mental health when you start college/university- freelance writer

Helping elderly relatives take care of themselves- freelance writer

How to Stay Emotionally Healthy during a Divorce- Lizzie Weakley

4 Ways EMDR Therapy can help you cope with Anxiety- Rachelle Wilber

Stuck in a Rut? Try These 4 Things- Dixie Somers

Non Traditional Therapeutic Activities to Try for Anxiety- Brooke Chaplan

Dealing with Dental Anxiety- Lizzie Weakley

Overcoming Seasonal Mood Changes- Brian Thomas

3 Years of my book Bring me to Light- Eleanor

5 Unbeatable ways to unwind- Dixie Somers

Speed Up Bipolar diagnosis to save lives- Bipolar UK- Eleanor

Losing a loved one- coping with anxiety- Hannah Walters

4 Ways to Treat an eating disorder- Lizzie Weakley

Bipolar UK commission announcement on government funding – Eleanor

How Living by the waterfront improves health- Rachelle Wilber

What football has taught me about life and mental health- Rose Atkinson-Carter

Anxiety and climbing, not carrying mountains- Eleanor

How Car accidents affect mental health- Stubbs Law Firm

How can EMDR therapy help you?- Brooke Chaplan

Tips for planning a sensory friendly wedding- Clay Reese

How to manage emotional eating- Lizzie Weakley

Methods for helping addiction recovery- Kara Masterson

How to tell if a loved one needs psychiatric help- Brooke Chaplan

What to do if you have an eating disorder- Brooke Chaplan

Navigating a divorce and preserving your mental wellbeing- Dixie Somers

January anxiety and burn out, how to avoid- Dr Catherine Carney at Delamere

How to cope with ADHD- freelance writer

My talk at the mental health awareness shabbat on bipolar- Eleanor

Tips to help seasonal depression- Obehi Iyobhebhe

How to help support your friends journey to sobriety- Anita Ginsburg

Why self care is so important- Brooke Chaplan

Coping with big life changes- Meghan Belnap

Befriending my brain, a new book on psychosis and recovery by James Lindsay- Eleanor

Thank you all for contributing and I am raising a glass to 7 years of this blog!!

Love and gratitude,

Eleanor x

The Book of Hope- 101 Voices in Overcoming Adversity by Jonny Benjamin MBE and Britt Pfluger. by Eleanor

To readers of my blog,

(image: Pan Macmillan/ Jonny Benjamin)

I don’t really know where to start! I have been keeping this secret for almost two years.

Nearly 2 years ago, my friends, mental health campaigner/author Jonny Benjamin MBE and author and editor Britt Pfluger, approached me to be a part of their second book entitled ‘The Book of Hope: 101 Voices on Overcoming Adversity‘ (published with Bluebird/ Pan Macmillan in April 2021!).

They asked me to write a piece on how I found hope and recovery after being unwell and my (ongoing) journey with bipolar disorder that I wrote about in my own book Bring me to Light.

I won’t give too much away about the piece I wrote, but it does include my Dad’s story too and talks about life after being sectioned for a manic episode in 2014. It talks about hope, healing, recovery and living with mental illness. It talks about being afraid of the future, but finding light in the darkness.

Heres what Macmillan say about the book which is available for pre order on Bluebird Pan Macmillan website and Amazon. It also contains anecodotes from famous faces including Lemn Sissay, Zoella (Zoe Sugg), Joe Wicks and Dame Kelly Holmes.

There is always hope, even when we cannot seem to seek it within ourselves.

The Book of Hope is an anthology of 101 key voices in the field of mental health, who share not only their experiences with anxiety, psychosis, panic attacks and more, but also what helps them when they are feeling low. Compiled by award-winning activist Jonny Benjamin and author Britt Pflüger, the inspirational contributors in this book range from the likes of Lemn Sissay, Frank Turner and Zoe Sugg, to Elizabeth Day, Hussain Manawer and Joe Wicks; from authors, poets and musicians to charity workers, activists and psychiatrists.

Jonny Benjamin is known for his book and documentary film, The Stranger on the Bridge, which fought to end stigma around talking about mental health, suicidal thoughts and schizoaffective disorder. When his campaign to find the man who prevented him from taking his own life went viral, Jonny was one of a wave of new figures lifting the lid on mental health struggles. In this book, he brings together a range of voices to speak to the spectrum of our experiences of mental health and the power of speaking up and seeking help.”

It is a real honour and privilege to be a part of this project. A dream come true and I am so thankful to be able to share my story on this platform with truly important voices! We all have mental health and our voices deserve to be amplified.

The Book of Hope is available to pre order now and published in 2021.



Maintaining a Healthy Work Life Balance, Why it Matters: Guest blog for Mental Health Awareness Week by Loveitcoverit

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(image: Unsplash)

 

When establishing and maintaining a healthy work-life balance, the overarching goal is clear; an individual should not feel as though their professional life is intruding on their personal time or vice versa. However, it’s always easier to explain than it is to physically manage – which is why it’s important to fully understand the implications of a poor work-life balance and the proactive steps we can all take to minimise any negative impact – such as poor mental wellbeing.

Although this challenge is known to many, you may not be fully aware of how prevalent it is across the entire nation. In fact, the Mental Health Foundation has commented that work-related stress costs Britain 10.4 million working days per year!

Now, as you would expect, the emergence of modern technology – such as smartphones – has drastically transformed our professional lives and, as such, it can be difficult to create concrete boundaries. Many of our devices can now take on the features and responsibilities of a larger computer system and so our working lives are available at just the touch of a button. So, how do we assess whether this detracts from our free-time and if this impacts our mental health?

Well, in recent months, this very topic has been investigated by mobile phone insurers, loveitcoverit.   

Their research found that an astounding 80% of workers identify their smartphones as a tool for their professional responsibilities, clearly demonstrating that they have surpassed the singular, social use that spurred their beginnings. So, whether it’s to communicate with colleagues, access working documents remotely or utilise organisational platforms, our mobiles have become an integrated part of professionalism on a wide scale. As such, it can be difficult to imagine the two in separation – but is this a good thing?

Overusing our mobile devices can be detrimental to our work-life balance as they create an access channel that is available to us at every hour. So, whilst leading mental health organisations emphasise the need for distancing measures – such as short breaks, time off and established social environment outside of work – our smartphones may act as a reminder of our professional responsibilities. In turn, this can lead to individuals feeling pressure to work outside of their agreed working times and intrude on their personal lives. 

Due to the sheer number of smartphone users across the country, this could mean that millions are facing the challenge. In fact, less than half of workers claim to have a ‘healthy’ work-life balance! 

Of course, this isn’t to say you should never complete a professional task in your free time, it simply means that you must actively monitor and manage how often this happens. This might seem a menial task, but it’s vital.

If you often find yourself feeling stressed due to your working life, then you could be at risk of developing illnesses such as anxiety or depression.

However, luckily, there are further actions we can take to ensure our balance does not tip!

 

Setting tangible guidelines

 We’re not saying that you must ignore your phone if a professional emergency arises, but it is important to make sure your working correspondence doesn’t intrude on your personal life. So, start with something simple – like enforcing a rule of no work related phone use after six on any weekday and perhaps not at all on the weekends.

Ultimately, it’s your decision to make, so find out what works within your routines and go with it!

 

Communicate with your employer

No one wants to be seen as a ‘complainer’, but if your work responsibilities are damaging your mental health it is important to speak up. Set up a meeting or informal chat with your manager to discuss how you’re feeling and why you feel that way. From there, you can work in tandem to better the situation and make wider improvements that benefit others too!

 

 Better understand your own situation

There is normally a tangible reason for any feelings of stress or anxiety but it might not be clear at first glance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a break and try to dissect your situation.

If you can understand what is causing your stress, you’re in a wholly better position to try and improve it, whether this is in reorganising your routine and methods or in talking to someone else at work!

 

Creating a healthy and sustainable work-life balance is imperative for our mental wellbeing, so we all must take the time to figure out how to best achieve it. Remember, the working world existed before smartphones did, so it’s a durable environment, and taking the time to figure out positive and progressive ways of moving forward will never be a waste.

 

This guest blog was written by loveitcoverit, mobile phone insurers in the UK at www.loveitcoverit.com 

Lockdown and Dealing with Mental Health: Guest blog by author Graham Morgan MBE

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(image of Ardmore, Scotland by http://scotlandwildlife.blogspot.com/2011/07/tobermory-to-ardmore-bay-isle-of-mull.html )

My name is Graham Morgan. This is my story of how I’m coping under lockdown.

I have just got back from walking Dash the dog round Ardmore. There was not a person in sight; just the sound of the curlews and the crows, the roar of the cold wind in the trees and the sound of the waves on the seashore. It gave me a chance to think and ponder on this first day of lockdown. It blew my tiredness away. As I reached the point; I looked along the Clyde to Dunoon; where my sister works as a midwife and hoped she was ok and thought about my brother, a medical director and psychiatrist;  having to make decisions about the future that no one should have to make.

Driving the two minute journey home I passed the post office van ; strange to see the postie with his mask and blue gloves. I felt slightly guilty for being out and had to remind myself that we are allowed one exercise session a day; that walking the dog counts as that.

I am so lucky compared to others. My friend phoned last night to say he had just managed to get home after breaking the news to his friend’s sister that that friend had killed himself days ago. Back to an email saying he was sacked from his job and that his tenant. who he shares his house with, was leaving the house as London, feels too unsafe. To deal with that?

I found out recently a Twitter friend was passing round my book on a psychiatric ward. The thought of being back in hospital but with no visitors and all the restrictions that happen now, fills me with horror; makes my last hospital stay feel pleasant. 

Yesterday a young man contacted me on Facebook to say how much he enjoyed my book START and how he was now in self isolation. I remembered he had been in hospital for months and months; was just getting used to his first flat; getting back to education, finding joy in his creativity. I remembered the loneliness I felt when I lived alone; those days when there was no one to speak to, to share a smile with. How it tore at me! Slapped me to the ground with sadness. I think of so many friends who are already lonely; lost in their lives, lacking the energy to even make a cup of tea.

I am indeed lucky. So far in our tiny household we have got over the twin’s meltdowns when we took them out of school last Monday. How frightened they were and how much they miss their friends. Home schooling for the moment is fun, I imagine, as the weeks go, by it will get harder. We are lucky we still have perspective; not to get angry and argue because of our own anxiety.

I am used to being awake in the early hours, yet somehow I am sleeping OK at the moment and have decreased my drinking. 

My understanding of the world (due to my beliefs at the moment) is that I am evil and bringing about its destruction; I think I am partly responsible for the fires and floods; the wars but, for some reason, coronavirus seems to have nothing to do with me. I have no idea why, but it is a relief.

I have more realistic worries, like the special care my Mum made to get a long tight hug when I left her in England to go back up to Scotland. 

We have been working from home and have been more or less self- isolated since Monday because my partner has asthma and yet her separated husband is a key worker  and looks after the kids too. There is relief that these are ‘real’ worries that I can grasp; not my usual ones.

The most pressing concerns are how to work from home as well as home schooling the children; how to get bread and eggs. The biggest inconvenience has been having to queue outside the chemist for my anti depressants; thankful that my GP realised I was taking them too infrequently and that now I am back up to the required dose I feel so much more relaxed.

I have one quandary; a minor one. I went to get my jag (injection) yesterday for my mental illness. The CPN (community psychiatric nurse) who gave me it had no more protection than normal. It was quick and painless.

He said he didn’t know where the community mental health team would be soon; they may be based with another more urban one by my next appointment. He said that if I, or anyone else near me, got any symptoms I was to phone in but that he had no idea what they would do if I did; that I might have to take oral medication.

At that I was lost because, of course I would have to;  not doing so at such a time would cause so much trouble but, at the same time; I am on a community section because I cannot make myself take medication, how can I agree to that, if it happens?

I have my work, I have food, my lovely family and Dash the dog who cuddles tightly up to me every night. I have my writing, my books, my music. So many people I know have nothing approaching that. 

I think I am glad I don’t have the imagination to see the scale of what is happening and am not torturing myself with the ‘what ifs’. Good luck to all of you who may not be in such a good place. Let us all help each other as best we can over the coming weeks.

 

Graham Morgan has an MBE for services to mental health and is the Author of START (by Fledgling Press) a memoir of compulsory treatment, love and the natural world. Available from Amazon and Waterstones on line.

He can be found at @GrahamM23694298 on twitter and at Graham Morgan – author; on facebook or at the Scottish Booktrust Live Literature database at https://www.scottishbooktrust.com/authors/graham-morgan

 

Talking for the Jami Mental Health Awareness Shabbat 2020 by Eleanor

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As some of you will be aware, back in 2017-2018, I helped as a volunteer with fellow volunteers (Lisa Coffman and others) to found the Mental Health Awareness Shabbat (Jewish sabbath) in our communities across the country here in the UK. The initiative, led by the mental health charity Jami and conceived by Rabbi Daniel Epstein, now runs in 150 Jewish communities.

This year, my dad Mike and I were delighted to be asked to share our father and daughter journey with bipolar disorder to Chigwell and Hainault Synagogue.

I have social anxiety- which includes at times a fear of public speaking. In December, I had a breakthrough, where I spoke for a short time at a conference called Limmud alongside my Dad and read from my book Bring me to Light. So, when we were asked to do this talk at Chigwell, I felt it could be possible.

I armed myself with the fact that I knew kind people in the community including the Rabbi and his wife and friends of my husband Rob (its the community he grew up in). I also wanted to share my story to help other people.

So, we stayed with a lovely lady in the community and had friday night dinner with the Rabbi and his family. On Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a little nervous but took my trusted anxiety medication for when I need it- Propranolol, and walked to the synagogue with Dad.

I managed not to have a panic attack and the thought of speaking to help others got me through (as did distraction, deep breathing and drinking a glass of water).

So, at the end of the service, we were called up to speak. Dad went first and talked about his journey with bipolar disorder from when it started for him in 1991 to finding recovery. Then, it was my turn.

I stood up there in the pulpit speaking to a packed audience with a prepared speech. I felt scared but also empowered and began to relax into the talk. I knew that by sharing what happened to me, being sectioned and so ill and talking openly, that I could break stigma and touch others. I was also so proud of my Dad for speaking so openly.

It was only after, when talking to people after the service, that we realised that about 150 people came to listen to our talk! We had some important conversations with people after our talk including someone very newly diagnosed and someone else whose niece had bipolar and is currently very ill.

I couldn’t and still can’t believe I was able to do that. However, since I have been very tired so trying to de-stress and rest as much as I can!

We just want to thank everyone who came to hear our talk and supported us, to every person who thanked us for coming and shared their stories with us. We are so grateful for such a positive reception and thank Rabbi Davis and the Chigwell community for having us.

The Mental Health Awareness Shabbat has had events in communities all across the country. It runs yearly and you can find out more here 

4 Ways to ease the fear of your Doctor Appointments: Guest blog by Ani O

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(image: Tumblr)

Many of us consider a visit to the doctor’s office one full of worries about what they may tell you about your health. However, checking in with your doctor regularly is a great way to ensure that you stay healthy and catch any problems before they become major medical conditions. If you’re fearful of going to the doctor’s office, here are four ways to help ease that tension.

Research Your Doctor

One of the biggest things that can create fear about going to the doctor is the  unknown. You can help to ease some of your fear by doing some research online. Look at the medical facilities website and find the about section for your doctor, if there is one. You may discover a picture and a list of their qualifications and specialties. Just being able to see a picture of your new doctor can go a long ways towards easing anxiety about your upcoming visit.

Ask Questions About the Little Concerns

If you get a sense of overwhelming fear when you think about your upcoming doctor’s visit, it’s a good time to stop and ask questions. The stacking of multiple questions on top of one another likely is what’s keeping that fear alive inside of you. How early do you show up? What identification do they need from me? Do I have to fill out any paperwork if private care? These are all questions you can ask the medical office administration staff when you book your appointment. Getting answers to the small questions can help
to alleviate much of the fear associated with your upcoming visit.

Ask A Friend or Family Member  to Go Along

If you’re fearful of a doctor’s visit, then simply have someone you know go with you. Whether this is your parent, a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or just your best friend, have someone you are comfortable around come with you. It’s easier to face fear when you have the strength and comfort of others you know around you.

 

Don’t Think You’re the Only One

We all tend to get a little anxiety when it comes to going to a doctor’s visit. It’s like we’re getting a grade on how well we’re taking care of our body. So, don’t get yourself caught up in the fact that there’s something wrong with you that you have anxiety about your appointment. Realize that most people do and it’s just a natural part of the human experience.

Easing your fear about going to the doctor’s office can be fairly simple as long as you have the right steps to do so. The above four tips should do wonders for alleviating most of your fear of your upcoming doctor’s visit. Remember that you’re not alone and you can get through it just like everybody else has.

 

This guest post was written by freelance writer Ani O, in the USA.