We are 7! On Be Ur Own Light’s 7th Blog Anniversary by Eleanor

On the 1st March 2016, I started this blog as a way to provide therapy for myself- as I was going through panic attacks, (caused by trauma). Can you believe that was 7 years ago?! I can’t! Since then I have had several years of therapy and my life changed so much too for the better- I met my husband, we got married and moved to our first home.

The blog has turned into a book Bring me to Light (with Trigger), writing for Metro.co.uk, Glamour, the Telegraph, Happiful, Rethink Mental Illness, Mind and other incredible organisations, I have partnered with large and small brands, charities, businesses, writers to create content that battles stigma on mental health. We have been awarded as a Top 10 UK blog by Vuelio since 2018 (thank you) and I love to share my story to help others and educate people about bipolar, anxiety, panic disorders, psychosis, mania and mental health in the workplace (amongst other mental health topics!). I have also recorded podcasts and have begun speaking in the community about bipolar with my Dad.

I cannot believe it has been 7 years since I opened up my computer to write- I was struggling. a lot. Writing has been such a therapy and a saviour to me.. and I hope this blog helps you too!

As always, I want to thank all my contributors and brands (sponsored or not), as well as the digital agencies and freelance writers who provide content too.

This year March 22- 23 we have featured (where it says my name, I wrote it!)

How to Stay Motivated When You’re Feeling Lost: Tracie Johnson

Change the Story Campaign- Eating Disorder Stereotypes- Hope Virgo

Performance of She Used To Be Mine (Sara Bareilles) by Nicolina Bozzo- Eleanor

5 Tips on How To Talk To Your Boss About Mental Health- freelance writer

Does Retail Therapy help your mental health?– freelance writer

9 Tips On Prioritising Your Mental Health while raising children- freelance writer

How to Keep a Good Mindset with Physical Therapy – Sierra Powell

Bipolar and Perinatal mental health- Eleanor

4 Types of Alcohol Addiction Services You can Turn To for Help- Rachelle Wilber

How to Transform Social Anxiety – Lewis McDonnell at Phobia Support Forum

What It’s Like To Go Through Severe Depression as a Bipolar Episode- Eleanor

What To Do When You Feel Alone- Eleanor

4 Reasons to Cook For Yourself- freelance writer

Learning to Embrace Schizoaffective Disorder -Mental Health Awareness Week- James Lindsay

Promoting wellbeing, good mental health and reducing stress in the elderly- freelance writer

Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog Award from Vuelio- Eleanor

Mental health, low self esteem, body image and fashion- freelance writer

What It Means To Have an NHS Perinatal Psychiatry Meeting- Eleanor

Unbroken- How Madeleine Black learnt to heal after sexual violence- Eleanor

What Tools Go Into Substance Abuse Treatment- Kara Masterson

Living with Anxiety- Promoting Mental Health and Success In the Workplace- Erin Hallett

How to know if you have an eating disorder and what to do next- Rachelle Wilber

How can I help an alcoholic or addict parent?- Chaye McIntosh

Boost Your Confidence- freelance writer

Taking Lithium for Bipolar Disorder- Side Effects – Eleanor

4 Effective Ways to Boost Your Mood- freelance writer

Knowing when its right to seek substance abuse treatment- Rachelle Wilber

Protecting mental health, a guide- The Mental Health Foundation

Letting go of hurtful memories to be happier- freelance writer

Group therapy and healing- Lizzie Weakley

Mental health medication and heatwave side effects- Eleanor

How to Create Healthy Daily habits- Sierra Powell

3 Journalling Techniques for Improved Mental Health- freelance writer

Looking after elderly parents- freelance writer

Thank you to a mental health nurse for sharing my book – Eleanor

Interview on Living with Bipolar with Best For You NHS- Eleanor

5 Tips for Communicating with Someone with Dementia- freelance writer

7 Tips to Help Your Personality Shine Through- freelance writer

Sleep Expert on how to stay cool on hot nights- freelance writer

Book Review of my book Bring me to Light by Deb Wilk- Eleanor

4 kinds of Therapy to consider- Rachelle Wilber

Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- Dr Joann Mundin

Are work places doing enough for mental health post-covid? – freelance writer

Mental Health at Work: First Aid products- writer

The Anxiety Train- a New Year- Eleanor

PTSD therapies and what is right for you- Kara Masterson

Managing mental health when you start college/university- freelance writer

Helping elderly relatives take care of themselves- freelance writer

How to Stay Emotionally Healthy during a Divorce- Lizzie Weakley

4 Ways EMDR Therapy can help you cope with Anxiety- Rachelle Wilber

Stuck in a Rut? Try These 4 Things- Dixie Somers

Non Traditional Therapeutic Activities to Try for Anxiety- Brooke Chaplan

Dealing with Dental Anxiety- Lizzie Weakley

Overcoming Seasonal Mood Changes- Brian Thomas

3 Years of my book Bring me to Light- Eleanor

5 Unbeatable ways to unwind- Dixie Somers

Speed Up Bipolar diagnosis to save lives- Bipolar UK- Eleanor

Losing a loved one- coping with anxiety- Hannah Walters

4 Ways to Treat an eating disorder- Lizzie Weakley

Bipolar UK commission announcement on government funding – Eleanor

How Living by the waterfront improves health- Rachelle Wilber

What football has taught me about life and mental health- Rose Atkinson-Carter

Anxiety and climbing, not carrying mountains- Eleanor

How Car accidents affect mental health- Stubbs Law Firm

How can EMDR therapy help you?- Brooke Chaplan

Tips for planning a sensory friendly wedding- Clay Reese

How to manage emotional eating- Lizzie Weakley

Methods for helping addiction recovery- Kara Masterson

How to tell if a loved one needs psychiatric help- Brooke Chaplan

What to do if you have an eating disorder- Brooke Chaplan

Navigating a divorce and preserving your mental wellbeing- Dixie Somers

January anxiety and burn out, how to avoid- Dr Catherine Carney at Delamere

How to cope with ADHD- freelance writer

My talk at the mental health awareness shabbat on bipolar- Eleanor

Tips to help seasonal depression- Obehi Iyobhebhe

How to help support your friends journey to sobriety- Anita Ginsburg

Why self care is so important- Brooke Chaplan

Coping with big life changes- Meghan Belnap

Befriending my brain, a new book on psychosis and recovery by James Lindsay- Eleanor

Thank you all for contributing and I am raising a glass to 7 years of this blog!!

Love and gratitude,

Eleanor x

How To Tell If You Or A Loved One Needs Psychiatric Help by Brooke Chaplan.

(image: free image)

Mental illness can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. It is important to recognise the signs and symptoms of mental illness in order to get help as soon as possible. Knowing what to look for can be tricky, so here are some common warning signs that you or a loved one may need psychiatric help.  

Unexplained Changes in Mood and Behaviour  

One of the most common signs of mental illness is a sudden and unexplained change in mood or behaviour. This could include changes in sleep patterns, eating habits, energy levels, attitude towards others, or motivation levels. If you notice any sudden shifts in these areas that last more than two weeks and cannot be attributed to a specific event or life change, it may indicate an underlying mental health issue.  

Negative Self-Talk or Rumination  

Another sign that someone needs professional help is if they frequently engage in negative self-talk or ruminate on the same thoughts over and over again. For example, if they often say things like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do anything right” without any basis for those statements, this could be a sign that something more serious is going on beneath the surface. Additionally, if someone spends hours every day thinking about their mistakes from the past without being able to move forward—this could also be an indication that professional help is necessary.  

Isolation from Friends and Family  

Finally, if someone begins isolating themselves from friends and family members more often than usual—or does not seem interested in having conversations with them—this could be another indicator that something more serious is happening mentally. It’s normal for people to want some alone time once in a while—but if you notice your loved one consistently avoiding social activities and interactions with others over long periods of time—it may mean they need extra emotional support from a professional psychiatrist before they can get back on track.   

Other Behaviours

Other behaviours you should watch out for is frequent tearfulness, self harm thoughts or ideas, suicidal thoughts and ideation- as this indicates someone is reaching a crisis point with their mental health. In some there may be an increase in activity or mania. This can lead to psychosis- where your mind loses touch with reality, common in bipolar disorder and schizophrenia (but can also happen outside these conditions).

Mental health issues are complex and often difficult to recognise at first glance. However, it’s important to understand that early intervention can make all the difference when it comes to managing mental illness effectively. If you notice any of these warning signs in yourself or a loved one—don’t hesitate to reach out for help!

Professional psychiatric services should always be sought out when necessary as this will create better outcomes for everyone involved in the long run. In the UK, that may be via the NHS but due to overwhelmed services, if you can afford private treatment, go down this route as it will be quicker!

This article was. written by Brooke Chaplan, freelance writer.

Tips On Coping With Borderline Personality Disorder And Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Dr Joann Mundin.

(image: Unsplash)

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects people’s thoughts about themselves and others. People with borderline personality disorder experience extreme emotions. A person with this disorder is likely to have intense relationships with many ups and downs. Other signs of borderline personality disorder include impulsivity and changes in one’s self-image. Anger management issues and mood swings can both be symptoms of BPD. They could also fear being left behind or abandoned.

Sometimes, people with borderline personality disorder are also affected by obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD. The person and their loved ones may find it challenging to cope with a borderline personality disorder. But borderline personality disorder is something that can be learned to manage. You can learn to manage borderline personality disorder with the proper professional care, self-help techniques, and coping skills and have a happy and successful life.

Coping mechanisms for borderline personality disorder

A borderline personality disorder is a condition that affects each person differently. Find out what works for you by taking your time. Everyone’s situation may be different, but by taking the actions listed below, you can cope with borderline personality disorder :

1. Engage in physical activities

Exercise may help you stabilize and regain emotional control if you have problems coping with BPD. Exercises like yoga, boxing, running, and cycling may be beneficial.

2. Take some time off for yourself

Although social isolation has adverse effects, occasionally removing yourself from other people might be a healthy coping mechanism for BPD. Spend some time alone, and rejuvenate yourself without the influence of others. Reflecting alone might assist you in readjusting if you are experiencing intense anger or feeling emotionally out of control.

3. Write emails or letters to people but don’t send them

This is a great way to express feelings and decompress. The effects are similar to keeping a journal, making it possible to express yourself without having your words negatively affect your relationships. By delaying sending the message, you can go back and read what you said after the initial emotions have subsided.

4. Take breaks

Feelings of rage and anger might be reduced temporarily by leaving a stressful setting and looking after yourself.

5. Keep yourself occupied as much as you can

Keep yourself occupied to divert your attention from your current feelings. Holding a fidget toy such as a slinky, helps keep your hands engaged and allows your mind to concentrate on the recent activity.

(image: Unsplash)

Is obsessive-compulsive disorder related to borderline personality disorder?

BPD is thought to be fundamentally linked to obsessive-compulsive symptoms. These symptoms are intense, and BPD patients who experience them often exhibit poor insight, resistance, and sometimes obsessive control in interpersonal interactions.

A 5% prevalence of borderline personality disorder (also known as BPD) has been seen in OCD patients. Additionally, these patients with BPD and OCD had greater rates of anxiety, mood, and eating problems. These examples of co-occurring BPD and OCD have been linked to motor impulsivity, mental compulsions, and compulsions involving interpersonal domains.

How is OCD treated?

Treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder may not provide a cure, but it can help keep symptoms under control so they don’t interfere with your everyday life. Some patients may require long-term, continuous, or more extensive treatment depending on how severe their OCD is. Psychotherapy and medicines are the two essential OCD treatments, and treatment is frequently most successful when these are used in conjunction.

How can you cope with OCD?

Below you’ll find mechanisms that will help you cope with obsessive-compulsive disorder:

1. Acknowledge your OCD’s existence

Like the monster you used to think lived beneath your bed as a child, OCD can seem like an uncontrollable power waiting to strike. Give your OCD a name and a shape rather than letting it be a faceless villain. It might benefit kids and adults to view OCD as a distinct condition. Remember, OCD is not your fault, and there is no need to feel ashamed.

2. Maintain an OCD journal

An OCD journal serves the same purpose as the food journals that some people use to record their daily dietary intake when on a diet. You can keep note of your triggers in an OCD journal, discover new ones, and evaluate the general state of your OCD. Keep an OCD journal with you at all times, and write down what happens when you perform a compulsion. After reading through your diary entries at the end of the day, ask yourself the following questions.

● Why did these circumstances make me OCD-prone?

● What would have occurred if my resolutions hadn’t been carried out?

● What proof is there that what I feared would occur?

3. Use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) techniques

ERP is a popular method for addressing and maybe easing OCD. When adopting ERP, a person exposes themselves to a circumstance that causes an obsession and then refrains from acting on their compulsion. Try creating an OCD ladder by ranking your triggers and associated anxieties on a ten-rung ladder from 1 to 10 in terms of their seriousness. You should start with a low-level trigger when you initially start ERP, and after you’ve faced it, wait 10 seconds before acting on your urge. Increase the amount of time you go without gradually employing your compulsion until you can handle the task or scenario without it. As you master your triggers, climb the OCD ladder.

4. Redirect your focus

If you have OCD compulsions or obsessions or feel one coming on, try diverting your attention from the problem. You can either mentally or physically refocus your attention. Try repeating the program if, after the period of refocusing, you still feel the need to finish your obsession.

5. Keep your stress levels down

OCD is difficult to live with, and stress can make these tasks even more difficult. Keeping your stress level low is essential because it has been demonstrated that stress dramatically increases OCD in people. Make sure to arrange some time each day to relax. Finding an hour each day to decompress, watching some TV, reading a book, or going for a run, can be pretty helpful.

Final thoughts

You can learn coping methods and healthy lifestyle choices without allowing the illnesses and symptoms to define you. Finding strategies that work for you is critical. You should also be open and honest with close family members about your needs. For example, you should tell family members how to help you if you feel angry or emotional. You are not defined by your illness and you can learn to cope- reach for support.

About the Author: Dr. Joann Mundin is a board-certified psychiatrist who has been in practice since 2003. She is a Diplomate with the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and a Fellow with the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada. Currently associated with Mindful Values, she provides assessments and treatment for patients with severe mental illness.

Starting The Conversation: 5 Tips On How To Talk To Your Boss About Your Mental Health

Image by Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels

According to new data from Mental Health Statistics, during 2020, 58% of workers experienced some kind of work-related stress, while 63% were experiencing moderate levels of anxiety. 

Health experts have warned, that if these mental health issues are left untreated, it can impact our day-to-day lives, including the ability to do our jobs. 

That’s why the team of experts at Delamere, have shared five ways to open up the conversation about mental health with your employer: 

  1. Find the Right Time and Place to Talk  

When approaching the conversation of mental health with your employer, one thing that will help is finding the right time to talk. Talking to your boss on a day when they seem overwhelmed might result in you not getting the best response, so make sure to schedule a call or an in-person conversation with them ahead of time.

As well as the right time, it’s also important to find an appropriate place to have the conversation. Find a place that will allow you to talk in a professional and calm way, and is a quiet space in your workplace. If somewhere suitable isn’t available you could also suggest meeting outside the office or even going for a walk. 

  1. Plan what you are going to say ahead of your meeting

Before speaking to your manager one of the best ways you can prepare is by planning what you want to discuss ahead of time. This will not only calm any nerves you might be having ahead of the conversation but will also ensure that you are only sharing what is needed to frame how your mental health is impacting your work.

Points you can prepare in advance could include, identifying tasks within your current role and workload that is making you stressed, reminding your boss of your achievements so that they remember you are more than capable, explaining what factors might need to change in order to help you.

  1. Decide Who To Speak To 

If you decide to open up to your employer about your mental health, consider who you will feel most comfortable having the conversation with. 

If you have a good relationship with one of your managers, it might be helpful talking to them about what you are going through. However, if you find that they aren’t very approachable, consider speaking to someone within your HR department that will be able to help you.

  1. Consider That Your Boss May be More Receptive Than You Think

Though talking about your mental health with your employer may feel like an uncomfortable situation, they may actually be more understanding than you anticipate them to be. 

Mental illness is very common illness and a lot of people, unfortunately, suffer from this in the workplace. So when you start the conversation, the chances are your boss or employer will have already had direct experience with dealing with it or even experienced it themselves. 

  1. Focus on Your Productivity and Ability to Work

To get the most out of your conversation with your employer, think beforehand about how your mental health is impacting your productivity and ability to work.

If you go into the meeting with this already prepared, the chances are you will have greater success coming up with solutions on how your employer can support you and what you need to get better. Whether it’s more flexible working hours or a lighter workload.

This article was written by Delamere residential addiction care.

From Denial, To Acceptance and Recovery: My Mental Health and Eating Disorder Journey by Emily J. Johnson

(image: Jasmin Chew at Pexels)

Trigger warning: discusses eating disorders and OCD

It has taken me almost thirty-five years to acknowledge that I have struggled with mental illness myself. I’ve spent a lifetime in denial. It wasn’t until writing my memoir Pushing Through The Cracks in 2021 that I observed my life objectively. I witnessed the experiences I’d gathered since childhood and how they had shaped me into the woman I am today.   A woman of strength, but also one diagnosed with a mental health disorder – Binge eating disorder. A label I neither wanted nor could accept. Not until now.

This isn’t my first experience with mental illness. In my teens, my life was in turmoil. After my parents’ unexpected divorce, my mother remarried a gambler with a volatile temper within two years. My father moved to Australia, and with the upheaval of my home life and the onslaught of puberty, I felt lost. My body was changing, and I’d become uncomfortable with my new shape. What began as a diet to slim my blossoming body developed into anorexia. In the 1980s, treatment was non-existent, at least for me. Instead, my GP gave me a telling-off and threatened to put me in a hospital and force-feed me via a drip. His threats petrified me, and I gradually increased my food intake again. It took me two years to recover. Ultimately, my anorexia was untreated, so it left me with a legacy of disordered thoughts about my body and food throughout my adult life.

A few years after my father’s death in my mid-thirties, I became fixated on turning electrical items off – the cooker, iron, hair straighteners, television – anything that was plugged in. I would touch the switches whilst talking out loud to myself, repeatedly, trying to confirm they were in the ‘off’ position. I knew they were off, but somehow, I couldn’t accept that they were off. Additional obsessions snuck in gradually. I began checking the fridge door was closed, then every door and window in my home. What started as checking became an arduous set routine every night to ensure the doors and windows were locked multiple times. I was terrified someone was going to break in. Checking the doors eased that terror, temporarily.

It continued for several months, and I couldn’t stop the thoughts no matter how hard I tried. I moved back to the UK in 2010 and it appeared the huge disruption to my life interrupted the intrusive thoughts and checking behaviours, and they stopped. As the mother of a child with severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I now recognise what I experienced back in my thirties may well have been OCD.

Fast forward to my late forties, a divorce behind me, and a period of depression to follow, I remarried and began a new life with a blended family. But within a couple of years, both of my sons and my new husband began struggling with their mental health. Mental illness filled our once happy home with depression, anxiety, alcoholism, OCD, and gambling, and it turned my entire world upside down whilst I tried to care for them all. I was under immense stress and turned to something to help me cope – food.

It began with me ‘rewarding’ myself with chocolate bars late at night when everyone else had settled. Over time, the ‘reward’ became a buffet of junk — mostly heavily processed carbs and sugar. All eaten quickly, in secret, and shrouded in shame. Within a few months, I was eating around 5000 calories during a night-time binge. In-between the binges were days of restricted food intake. I gained a large amount of weight, which I hated myself for. The self-loathing was overwhelming.

I realised I had a problem in late 2019 and went to my GP, who referred me to an eating disorder clinic. They diagnosed me with Binge eating disorder (BED), and I began a recovery programme, which I stuck to until the Covid pandemic interrupted my sessions, and I threw in the towel. As a result, I slipped back into bingeing again when life overwhelmed me.

In 2021, I self-referred myself back to the ED clinic. I’m still on a waiting list, however, I’ve taken steps to get support and am in recovery now. I am 24 days binge-free at the time of writing this, which feels like such a huge personal triumph after a long period of relapse.

I think the toughest part for me has been accepting that I had a mental health disorder. I also felt overwhelming guilt that I had perhaps somehow genetically gifted my son’s mental illness to each of them. It’s taken me a long time to accept my diagnosis and our family’s situation. But from that place of acceptance, I have finally found peace….and recovery.



Emily J. Johnson is the author of Pushing Through The Cracks, her memoir of her family’s struggles with mental health. She lives in the UK and this is her first blog on this subject!

Book Review: ‘Pushing Through The Cracks: In the Darkness of Her Family’s Mental Illness She Found Light’- Emily J. Johnson by Eleanor

(image: Emily J Johnson)

Pushing Through The Cracks: In the Darkness of Her Family’s Mental Illness She Found Light by Emily J. Johnson is an incredible book. It is a story that I don’t believe has ever been written about before in such a way in the mental health space, I have certainly never come across it. Its a true memoir that occurred here in the UK during lockdown.

Emily wrote to me and kindly sent me a free copy of her book. I was hooked from the first page- this is a story of survival against the odds, of how mental illness can rip a family apart but how healing and hope are possible. Of strength through immense difficulty. Of light winning over darkness.

Four years ago, in the UK, Emily, a divorced mother of two, was living her best life with a new partner and blended family of six. But then addiction and mental illness entered her home uninvited, threatening to tear the whole family apart.

With an alcoholic husband and two teenage sons – one a depressed gambler and the other with chronic obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)– Emily is left to cope alone. And when the Covid pandemic hits, Emily, a ‘serial people-pleaser, enabler and born rescuer’, almost breaks too.

This true story delves into the darkest sides of mental illness and addiction with raw, often harrowing honesty. It shines a light on taboo subjects including self-harm, suicidal feelings, gambling, alcoholism, depression, severe OCD and eating disorders, all exacerbated by an unprecedented global pandemic and dwindling support services.

This is a story of remarkable strength, self-realisation and reclamation of a lost identity. This is a story of finding hope, pushing through the cracks in the darkness. It is also a story that touches on the difficulties of accessing UK NHS mental health services at times, especially CAMHS.

I found Emily’s strength through such severe adversity – dealing with a husband and two sons with severe mental illness, whilst carrying on with her own life when mental illness permeated every part, to be so inspiring. Her marriage falls apart, her children are unable to attend work and education, the family embarks on several different recovery journeys- navigating NHS mental health care and all its difficulties. Her sons addictions and acute OCD worsen and add to the pressures for Emily. How does she as a mother fix it all? She realises.. she can’t fix anyone and its not her job too.

The front cover features a dandelion pushing through the cracks of the ground. Emily describes the moment she hits rock bottom but then saw a dandelion poking through- which symbolised hope and light for her,

‘(image: Emily J. Johnson)

‘I pick up my phone and call a crisis support line…I desperately want someone to listen to me, to ease my pain, to hear my stories…(of mental illness at home)

I throw my phone across the path in frustration… something catches my eye, a beautiful yellow dandelion is growing through a crack in the concrete. Its golden yellow petals cut through the greyness of the broken path and it overshadows the filth and discarded cigarette butts around it. Despite its surroundings, it has found ways to push up through that crack, to have life. it is. not complaining or giving up, it’s surviving and it will go on to finish flowering. One day soon, the wind will carry its dainty seeds somewhere else to carry on the cycle of its life.

Just like that dandelion, I have pushed through adversity and survived. …I close my eyes and raise my face to the sunshine… Even in the midst of all this chaos, this darkness, there is warmth and light. There is hope.” (from chapter Dandelion) (Emily J. Johnson)

This is also a book which exposes the difficulties and realities of living with mental illness. I will add a trigger warning- it doesn’t hold back on the reality of mental illness including self harm, addiction, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts etc- so please read with care.

Thank you Emily for letting me read and follow the journey of your family. I hope your husband and sons are able to fully battle their demons and recover or stay in remission.

Pushing Through the Cracks by Emily J. Johnson can be bought from Amazon and good book shops.


(image: Emily J. Johnson)

Living with OCD during a global pandemic by Impulse Therapy

(image: Pinterest)

Managing OCD without the stress of a global pandemic is challenging enough. COVID-19 has presented some unique challenges for many OCD sufferers, forcing people to be restricted to their homes, encouraging obsessive behaviours like handwashing and limiting access to in-person therapy. 

In this article, we’re going to break down the challenges OCD sufferers face in the times of COVID, along with how to support loved ones and how to access support. 

What are the new challenges for OCD sufferers?

People with OCD typically have behaviours that fall into the following categories:

  • Checking: Repeatedly checking tasks that have already been done, such as locking a door or turning off the tap. Checking behaviours can also include believing you have a medical illness and repeatedly getting medical exams or visiting the doctor. 
  • Contamination: A compulsion to repeatedly clean yourself and the surrounding areas. Being in a dirty environment can cause feelings of fear or anxiety. 
  • Symmetry and Ordering: The need for things to be in order and/or symmetrical. Behaviours related to symmetry and ordering can be triggered if things are not organised. Some people with OCD may experience hoarding behaviours which also fall into this category. 
  • Ruminations and Intrusive Thoughts: These are common for people with OCD. Intrusive thoughts experienced by OCD sufferers can sometimes be disturbing and violent, directed towards themselves or loved ones.

New behaviours and triggers are being experienced by OCD sufferers in all of the above categories since COVID-19. 

New Checking Behaviours

With OCD sufferers being confined to their homes, they may be experiencing more frequent checking triggers, repeatedly turning off lights before bed, locking doors, even repeatedly checking the news for updates. People with OCD checking behaviours may also convince themselves they have COVID-19, with a desire to repeatedly get tested while also experiencing paralysing anxiety around leaving the house through fear of infecting others.

New Contamination Behaviours

As you can imagine, experiencing contamination behaviours and triggers as an OCD sufferer during a global pandemic is a complete nightmare. 

OCD sufferers who experience contamination triggers likely already experience anxiety soothing behaviours such as repeatedly washing hands, cleaning themselves and their surroundings. COVID-19 will only be worsening these triggers and behaviours for OCD sufferers. 

With more emphasis being placed on how we wash our hands, the frequency of handwashing and using hand sanitiser, OCD contamination sufferers will likely be triggered whenever they are reminded of COVID-19 to do these behaviours compulsively. 

New Symmetry and Ordering behaviours

Spending more time at home in lockdown and isolation may be triggering symmetry and ordering behaviours for some OCD sufferers. They are constantly surrounded by their triggers, resulting in more frequent behaviour indulgences to ease anxiety. Frequent changes in COVID regulations could become a new trigger for OCD sufferers with symmetry and ordering behaviours. 

During lockdown, a lot of people have been inspired to ‘Marie Kondo’ their homes, organising and discarding items that no longer ‘bring joy’. Many OCD sufferers will be organising and reorganising their homes compulsively to ease anxiety. 

New Ruminations and Intrusive Thoughts

During a global pandemic, OCD sufferers could start to have intrusive thoughts about loved ones being infected with COVID-19. These thoughts can quickly spiral, with sufferers believing they are the cause of their loved one being infected, even if they are not showing symptoms or have tested negative.

People with COVID-19 can be asymptomatic, meaning they can have COVID and be infectious without showing any symptoms. Due to this fact, many people with OCD will convince themselves that they have COVID and are asymptomatic, causing them to isolate themselves possibly unnecessarily. 

How to support loved ones during these challenging times

As unfortunate and uncomfortable as it is, one of the best treatments for OCD is exposure and response prevention, a type of therapy that exposes the patient to the situations that make them anxious as a way of normalising these moments and learning ways to cope with the anxiety without resorting to the usual anxiety soothing behaviours. 

For the OCD sufferer, this means facing a lot of discomfort throughout treatment. If you’re living with an OCD sufferer who is struggling with frequently being triggered, possibly even by things you are doing, it may be tempting to stop what you’re doing that is triggering your loved one. However, it could be more beneficial long-term to behave normally, continuing whatever action you are doing that may be triggering, as a way of exposing your loved one to their trigger to normalise it. If you live with someone with OCD and are triggering them and don’t know how to behave around them, it could be worth speaking with a therapist to get some advice. 

Talking things through can always be helpful for anyone suffering from any mental health issue. If you can talk to your loved one about their OCD struggles in a patient, calm and empathetic way, this is a great way to support. 

How to access support as an OCD sufferer

Access to in-person therapy is currently limited worldwide due to COVID. If you’re looking for a way of accessing support, either for yourself or a loved one, there are online options. 

Online therapy is becoming more and more popular, with users enjoying the ease and accessibility without having to leave their homes.

The best form of treatment for OCD is therapy treatment using CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). This type of treatment can be done in-person or online. 

Alongside therapy, there are many other tools that someone suffering from OCD can use to reduce and manage symptoms, such as worksheets, meditation, journaling and more. Each OCD sufferer is individual and has a unique experience. One person with OCD may struggle with contamination behaviours, while another could only ever experience ruminations. This is why everyone’s treatment plan will look a little different. 

When speaking with a loved one about getting help, remember to approach the conversation with patience and empathy. Seeking help for OCD is tough, and the person struggling may need time to come around and ask for the help they need. Discuss options with them in an open-minded way without any expectations. 

This blog was written by Impulse Therapy

5 Ways you can reduce Anxiety in Every Day Life: Guest blog by Samantha Higgins

theway2

(image: Picuki.com)

Reducing anxiety at the moment in our every day lives is so important.

Having anxiety is something that many people have challenges with. It is estimated that about 1 in 5 adults have an anxiety disorder and that more than that will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life.

The symptoms of anxiety include feeling restless or on edge, being easily irritated, difficulty controlling feelings of worry and having difficulty sleeping, amongst others. 

If you feel that you may be experiencing symptoms of anxiety, there are many things you can do to help reduce and manage those feelings. 

 

1. Look at Lifestyle Choices

A number of different lifestyle behaviours could contribute to your anxiety. Drinking alcohol, taking drugs, eating junk food will all play a big role in how you feel. For example, excessive drinking or the use of drugs can cause a multitude of health problems including liver and kidney damage. It also causes mental illness such as drug and alcohol addictions. You may need further support from a psychiatrist or rehab unit if you are struggling with addiction or mental illness.

On the opposite side, exercising regularly and eating healthy foods are proven to boost your mood, increase the chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy and improve your overall physical health. 

If you want to manage anxiety, consider looking at your current lifestyle choices and if there is anything you have the power to change. Be honest in your assessment but know you have options for assistance.  Making a big lifestyle change is hard but if there is something you know is causing your mental health and anxiety to worsen, it is a good idea to remove that from your life if possible. 

 

2. Talk to Your Family and Friends

Even if you think your family and friends would not understand, you might end up getting some of your most valuable support from them. You should not ever feel you have to hide any of your mental health concerns from them, unless you know that they would react badly.

Try to avoid shutting people out, being secretive about your mental illness or becoming defensive when people ask. 

True friends will listen and care. There is still a stigma to mental illness but it is important to find someone you trust.

 

 3. Set Boundaries

If necessary you can set boundaries for yourself. This could mean letting people know there are certain activities you don’t participate in. It could also mean a limit on how much time you spend with friends and family, in order to practise self care and recuperate. 

Many people who struggle with anxiety disorders find that setting up a schedule for themselves that they are consistent in keeping can greatly reduce feelings of anxiety. It helps them to feel more in control and gives them a structure that feels secure.

Setting boundaries is a way for you to have control over your situation and environment, although these should not be too rigid. There are certain things that can’t be controlled that can increase anxiety. 

 

4. Let Go of Things You Can’t Control

If something is out of your control that is causing your anxiety there are ways that you can cope with these feelings.  One suggestion is to write down how you are feeling to help let those emotions go. The BACP tells us that, “It can help to express this anxiety in a way that you can control. That could be writing down what you feel, or keeping a journal.”

You can also try making a list of things you are grateful for, or use breathing and relaxation techniques. 

If you are still struggling to cope with things out of your control seek help from a professional. 

 

5. Get Professional Help

You could turn to all types of mental health professionals to get help, including GPs (physicians), psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors and therapists. You may be referred for talking therapies, cognitive behavioural therapy, mindfulness or EMDR therapy for trauma.  They may also recommend medication for you too.

In the UK, you would go via your NHS GP who can refer you on to see a psychiatrist or to IAPT for counselling.  Also check out the Counselling Directory website.

When searching for a good therapist in the USA, Karen Whitehead, who does counseling in Alpharetta, GA tells us that, “Psychologists (PsyD), Licensed Social Workers (LMSW/LCSW), Licensed Professional Counsellors (LPC), and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT) can all evaluate and treat mental illness, provide talk therapy, support and feedback, and teach coping strategies such as mindfulness.”

Your counsellor will be able to help you better assess your situation and get to the core of your anxieties. Even if you already know why you get anxious, you can benefit from learning coping skills.

Your counsellor can indeed equip you with tools adapted for your specific needs. You will have feedback on what is and what is not working. You can learn to live with, manage and in many cases, recover from anxiety.

 

You Are Not Alone

Do not ever think you are alone when it comes to your anxiety. Try not to beat yourself up if setbacks occur or you have a bad day.

Talk with your therapist about ways that you can help to further reduce your anxiety. They will be able to help you.

 

This blog was written by freelance writer Samantha Higgins.

How to deal with a Breakup when you have OCD: Guest blog by Brooke Chaplan

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Your OCD symptoms may be triggered by situations that feel out of your control, and breakups can easily throw your life into a tailspin. On top of dealing with the hurt that comes with ending a relationship, you may also be dealing with serious anxiety about what your future holds. This is especially true if you find yourself blaming yourself for your flaws and inadequacies and holding yourself solely responsible for the breakup. These tips will help you begin to heal by dealing with your breakup in healthy ways that allow you to see this as an opportunity for growth.

Stick to Your Wellness Plan

The first thing that you need to do is practice self-care. Although your heart may be too broken to want to get out of bed, it is important to follow your normal daily routine. Exercise helps to release endorphins that make your symptoms more manageable. Eating a healthy diet also helps to reduce the symptoms of anxiety and OCD. Following your wellness plan sends signals to your brain that you will overcome this temporary life event. It’s important to know that while exercise and self-care will not cure either your mental illness or your broken heart, it will strengthen your body and give you the tools you need to handle the strain.

Seek Advice About the Future

When you have OCD, the realization that you have no idea of what will happen next can make your symptoms worse. Seeking relationship advice that addresses your current circumstances along with how they influence your future gives you a sense of control. Talk to a therapist, counselor, spiritual guide, religious leader, or family member. This advice can then be used to begin putting together a new life plan that helps you feel confident and mentally strong.

Find Healthy Distractions

Once you know that the future is bright, you can begin finding ways to overcome your pain in the present moment. Explore new hobbies and set goals that help you build for your better future while also avoiding the tendency to obsess over the past. Try taking a class or doing an activity that you’ve always wanted to explore. You’ll feel stronger and more excited about what the future has in store.

Take Note of Your Progress

During your breakup, you can expect to experience some high and low moments. When you feel down, try to recognize how much progress you’ve made. For instance, you might have made a new friend who helps you get through this rough patch. You might have managed to avoid checking your ex’s social media pages. These little signs of progress mean that you are moving forward, and recognizing them helps you see that the breakup truly is a chance to grow. Remember to not beat yourself up over slipping up. It is likely that an emotional moment like this could bring up past compulsions and obsessions you thought you had gotten over. This does not mean you have failed or somehow destroyed your past progress, because progress is not linear.

Your relationship might be over, but you can use this moment as an opportunity for personal growth. When you feel like your OCD symptoms are taking over, reach out to people who care. Soon, you’ll have this whole painful event behind you and be looking at the future with a positive perspective.

If you need further support, speak to your therapist doctor or psychiatrist.

 

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most of her time hiking, biking, and gardening. For more information, contact Brooke via Facebook at facebook.com/brooke.chaplan or Twitter @BrookeChaplan

Royal family launches Shout UK- a Mental health crisis text line: Guest blog

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Be Ur Own Light is supporting the incredible initiative from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Sussex- Shout UK, a new text support line in the UK for people in mental health crisis- anyone who is struggling. They have teamed up with Crisis Text line to reach vulnerable people.

I feel privileged to live in a country where stigma is beginning to fall and where mental health issues are beginning to be understood better. Texting would have helped me as an ill teenager with bipolar!

Shout are looking for volunteers too to man the text lines as crisis counsellors.

Thank you to the Duke and Duchesses for the incredible profile they are giving mental health. #GiveUsAShout