Helping Elderly Parents With Their Wellbeing.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

(image: Ivan Samkov, Pexels)

We all – if we are so privileged – age enough to become ‘old’. We grow into our faces, our experiences and our futures and we do so over a long period of time. Not everyone is afforded the chance to grow old, of course, but those who do are lucky to get there. When you have senior parents that have reached an advanced age, you have to expect there to be changes in your relationship dynamic. As parents age they may need more help, they may be more aggressive, they may be resistant to any help or support. The worst part is that when you try to help your parents, you may find them resistant to that help – and that can be difficult to manage. 

Every situation for a family is unique and so you have to adapt and adjust to the limitations that you are facing in your specific dynamic. Understanding how to help elderly parents without being overly safe is not easy. It’s actually really hard not to suggest senior living or other support systems to parents who aren’t open to that idea – you need them to feel open to help first. Once you have that, you will find navigating the future far simpler. Helping elderly parents needs some movement, and here are our suggestions to help you to do just that.

Empathise. With your parents, you need to empathise and show them that you get it; their life is hard and it’s not easy for them to manage their own expectations. Sometimes, you may be pushed out by the frustration and moodiness that your parents display. It’s vital that you are empathetic and understanding because as hard as it is for you to deal with the changes, consider how they feel? Consider how they are managing the things happening to them right now. It’s going to be huge for them to go from independent to totally dependent on others and losing that independence takes a lot of getting used to.

Call your parents. You need to do what you can to maintain contact with your parents. Calling them regularly and helping them to understand that you are at the end of the phone is going to be a game changer for them. Set reminders on your phone to remind them that you are there, that you love them and that you want to know how they’re doing. Senior parents often feel like a burden and you can avoid that and make it something you change for them.

Don’t do it alone. Helping elderly parents is so much easier when you’re not alone in it. You shouldn’t have to be the only person holding up the house, right? Well, don’t be. Rope in the help of others and make a point of sharing the mental load as much as the physical load. In addition, you can explore assisted living options such as the village at East Farms and other facilities that provide comfort and care for the elderly.  You shouldn’t take all of the responsibility for yourself because all you’re going to do is burn out. Communication is key if you want to make sure that you have the right support. 

Look for the problems. It may feel counterproductive to look for problems before they happen but doing this will help you to figure out the right plan of action for support. Knowing emergency contacts, knowing their medical contacts and understanding their surroundings is so important if you want to ensure that your parents are safe. Seeking out the problems will help you to prepare to fix them and some days, you need to fix them! If you have the essentials sorted, you’re going to find it a much smoother journey.

Be their advocate. As they’re your parents, it makes sense to advocate where you can. Being their voice when things get tough is going to help them and you to find life easy. If they have an illness, ensuring that you all have a good grasp of what to expect will help you to keep moving forward and prevent anyone moving backwards. Knowing their conditions, their medications, their appointments and more is vital if you want to be a good advocate for them in times of need.

Encourage activity. This is something you can do together: walks, swims and sports. Many aging parents find remaining active difficult and it’s important to do that together to help both parents stay social and active. If your parents are active they are helping their health and that’s what you need from them the most, too! Going to sports, senior groups, churches/ religious places, museums and more will help them to maintain their activity and their friendships. It’s super needed for balance and to improve their mood, cognitive thinking, strength and more. Aging parents can participate in senior programs and it’s something that will make them feel energised and vital in the world. 

Assist them with downsizing. Parents living in larger houses often need space but not too much space. Cleaning and organising is much harder in a larger home and you can help them to downsize without being bossy or demanding. Realising that you can help without pushing is important. You don’t have to be bossy about it all and ensuring that they don’t feel like you are hiding their memories is important. Your parents may argue at the idea of downsizing, but that’s natural when they haven’t ever planned to! 

Help your parents to create a memory book. You want to show your parents that you are there for them and it’s common for senior parents to experience short term memory issues that take time to build. Creating memory books is important for them to know who they are and what their homes have meant to them. Fill it up with scrapbook pages, photos, places and pets through the years so that they can use it and flip through it whenever they are feeling down.

Helping elderly parents is a pull on the heartstrings and you should ensure that you are equipped where possible.

This article was written by a freelance writer.

The Unseen Consequences: How Bad Habits Can Affect Your Health and Wellbeing.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment

(Image: Maria Orlova for Pexels)

Most of us have bad habits that we’re aware of, whether it’s smoking, excessive drinking, or eating unhealthy foods. We may think that the only consequence of these habits is the occasional guilty feeling or a bit of embarrassment. Still, bad habits have far-reaching and unseen repercussions that can significantly affect our health. In fact, poor habits such as these can lead to various physical and mental health issues, such as depression, insomnia, and heart disease. The good news is that we can make changes to improve our health and overall well-being by understanding the unseen consequences of our bad habits.

Premature Ageing

Premature ageing is one of the most significant and often unseen consequences of bad habits. Smoking, for example, has been linked to premature wrinkles, age spots, and an overall aged appearance. The same applies to excessive drinking and unhealthy eating habits, contributing to poor skin health and general ageing.

Research has shown that bad habits can also contribute to accelerated ageing of the brain. Studies have found that excessive drinking, smoking, and other unhealthy habits can increase the risk of developing dementia and other age-related cognitive issues.

Decreased Mental Health

Bad habits can also have a negative impact on our mental health. Studies have found that smoking, excessive drinking, and unhealthy eating habits can all increase the risk of developing depression and anxiety. Additionally, poor habits can lead to an increased risk of developing insomnia, which can harm our mental health.

Addictions can be hard to break and severely impact your physical and mental health. Moreover, studies have found that bad habits can also increase the risk of developing substance abuse issues. If you feel you are struggling with addictions, there are drug rehab clinics which can help you, with qualified therapists.

Additionally, unhealthy habits can also lead to an increased risk of developing stress and other negative emotions. Studies have found that smokers and excessive drinkers are more likely to experience emotions such as anger and frustration, which can lead to further mental health issues.

Reduced Motivation

Bad habits can also have a negative effect on our motivation levels. People with unhealthy habits often feel lethargic and lack the energy and drive to complete tasks or take on new challenges. This can sometimes be attributed to poor nutrition, as unhealthy foods leave us feeling sluggish and unmotivated. Similarly, those who smoke often feel tired and lack the energy to exercise, which can further decrease motivation levels.

Bad habits can increase the risk of developing chronic conditions like diabetes and heart disease. These conditions can cause fatigue, which can further reduce our motivation levels. Additionally, those who consume excessive amounts of alcohol are more likely to experience difficulty concentrating, which can decrease motivation and mental health.

Lifestyle Changes 

Bad habits can lead to a dependence on these substances which could significantly alter your lifestyle. Just like you can lack motivation, you may also replace things you should do with bad habits, despite knowing it is not good for you. 

If you develop a dependence on alcohol or drugs, you may ignore responsibilities, such as work, spending time with friends, or even parenting, to indulge in your bad habits. While any bad habit can affect your life and be a problem, these instances are where you have arguably hit rock bottom because you care more about the habit than you do anything else. 

In these cases, seeking help through therapy or drug rehab is crucial. It can take time to accept you need help, but taking steps to find this support is the first stage of getting your life back. 

Increased Risk of Health Conditions and Diseases

Finally, bad habits can increase the risk of developing severe health conditions and diseases. Those who smoke are more likely to experience a stroke, lung cancer, heart disease, and an increased risk of developing COPD and other respiratory conditions. Similarly, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to liver cirrhosis, pancreatitis, and an increased risk of certain types of cancer.

Furthermore, those who engage in unhealthy habits are more likely to develop obesity and type 2 diabetes and an increased risk of developing high blood pressure and high cholesterol. These conditions can lead to an increased risk of stroke and heart attack and even reduce our life expectancy.

Conclusion

In conclusion, ‘bad habits’ can have far-reaching and unseen consequences that significantly affect our health and overall wellbeing. However, by understanding the unseen effects of our bad habits, we can make changes to improve our health and wellness for good.

This article was written by a freelance writer. If you need help for addictions or eating disorders, please reach for help from qualified professionals.

How To Cope With The Big Changes Life Throws At Us By Meghan Belnap.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 3 Comments

(image: unsplash)

No one’s life is perfect. At some point, we all face difficult challenges and struggles that can leave us feeling lost, powerless, and alone. If you’re currently dealing with a big life change, know that you’re not alone. Here are some tips for how to cope with the big changes life throws at us. 

Acknowledge that change is hard, and give yourself time to grieve the loss of what was 

Acknowledging the difficulty of coping with emotional hardships in life can be the first step toward healing. Change is never easy and it is natural to experience grief or sorrow over losing something familiar or safe. Taking the time to sit with those feelings will help give space for understanding rather than running away and pretending like everything is fine. Being compassionate to yourself throughout this process can allow you to accept the struggles you are facing, ultimately helping you venture forward. 

Lean on your support system – friends, family, therapist, etc. 

When grappling with emotional struggles in life, it is helpful to remember that you are never alone. Caring and reliable support systems of friends, family, and therapists can make a significant difference in your journey of healing. A strong foundation of accepting people will lift your spirits and provide valuable perspectives on your situation. You might find this through your community at school, going to a local group therapy meeting, or through a religious or other network.  Every individual has different needs when it comes to dealing with emotional difficulties; leaning on those around you as a source of comfort can be an extremely supportive outlet, as you navigate through trying times. 

Find healthy coping mechanisms that work for you 

When dealing with difficult emotions, it is essential to find healthy ways to cope. Each person has different needs and preferences when it comes to finding relief from emotional hardships. Luckily, there is an abundance of coping mechanisms available. Whether it’s exercise, journaling, painting, or something else entirely, identifying which coping activities work best for you can help reduce stress in your life and give you an outlet for negative emotions. Being proactive in finding techniques that bring relief is the foundation for healing. 

Create a new routine or structure for yourself to help with the transition 

When dealing with emotional struggles in life, creating a new routine or structure for yourself can provide much-needed comfort and stability. This can range from something as simple as coming up with a plan for your daily tasks or an overarching chart that breaks down what you want to accomplish each week. Furthermore, it may be beneficial to set aside time where you can focus on self-care or just unplug and take a breather from the world around you. Though this type of change may seem daunting at first, having an established plan can give us control, which is often otherwise lacking during hard times. By putting confidence in yourself and investing effort in your goals, you can take strides on the path toward healing. 

Be patient with yourself 

Making a major change in life can be traumatic, and it is important to be patient with yourself as you adjust. Healing often happens one step at a time, so allow yourself the time and space to take whatever baby steps are necessary to feel better. Finding people who understand and can offer meaningful support along your journey is important, but make sure that the people you turn to also help you focus on your sense of strength and purpose rather than simply engaging in a pity party. With patience, you will eventually discover that you’ve healed enough that growth can start to occur. 

Going through tough changes in life is never easy, but there are ways to make it more manageable. Acknowledge your feelings, reach out for support, find healthy coping mechanisms, and be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to grieve and adjust, and eventually, things will start getting better. Remember that you’re not alone – Lean on your loved ones and professionals for help when needed. You’re worth it. 



Meghan Belnap is a freelance writer who enjoys spending time with her family. She loves being outdoors and researching new topics that help to expand her horizons. You can often find her buried in a good book or out looking for an adventure. You can connect with her on Facebook right here and Twitter right here.

Why Self Care Is So Important For Good Mental Health by Brooke Chaplan

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 6 Comments
(image: free image)

Self-care is a buzzword that has become increasingly popular in recent years, with many people talking about how important it is to take care of ourselves. But what does self-care really mean? And more importantly, what are the benefits of self-care for mental health? Let’s take a look at why self-care is so important and how it can improve your mental well-being.

What Is Self-Care?

Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. We all need different kinds of self-care depending on our individual needs, but some common examples include getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, and taking time out to relax. Taking part in activities like these can help us manage stress levels and make us feel better about ourselves overall.

The Benefits of Self-Care for Mental Health

Self-care has many benefits for our mental health and well-being. Taking time out to practice self-care can help reduce stress levels, which can have positive effects on our mood and energy levels. It can also help us gain clarity and perspective on problems we may be facing in life as well as helping us feel more connected to ourselves. Regularly engaging in activities such as yoga or meditation can also help us develop coping skills for dealing with difficult emotions or situations. In addition, taking part in activities that give us pleasure, such as reading a book or going for a walk, can boost our moods and make us feel more positive about ourselves and life in general.

Self-Care Tips For Improved Mental Health

If you want to get started with self-care but aren’t sure where to begin, here are a few tips you can use:

• Take breaks throughout the day – even if it’s just five minutes – to recharge your batteries

• Make time for things you enjoy doing, such as reading a book or listening to music

• Get outside into nature whenever possible

• Connect with friends or family members who make you feel good

• Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or visualization

• Eat healthy foods that will nourish your body

• Exercise regularly – this doesn’t have to mean hitting the gym every day! A simple walk around the block will do wonders for your mind and body

• Spend time alone – this could be journaling or simply sitting quietly with yourself

• Be kind to yourself – don’t forget that self-love is one of the best forms of self-care!

• Reaching out and getting psychiatric services also counts as self-care, as you are helping yourself feel better in a professional setting

Self-care is essential for maintaining good mental health and well-being. From eating healthy foods to taking regular breaks throughout the day, there are many simple things we can do every day that will benefit both our minds and bodies.

The key is finding what works best for you personally—what activities bring you joy and make you feel better? By taking some time each day just for yourself—whether it be reading a book or going outside into nature—you will soon start reaping the rewards of self-care!

Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer.

How To Support Your Friend’s Journey To Sobriety By Anita Ginsburg

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

(image: Pexels)

Sober living can be a challenging journey for anyone. It’s important to have the support of family and friends as you go through this process. As someone who cares about your friend, you may want to reach out to show your support. Here are some thoughts on how best to do this.

Be Present and Listen

Your presence can be very powerful in helping a friend who is working on sobriety. Listening is one of the most important things you can do when you’re trying to show your support. Offer an open ear and an understanding heart, without judgment or criticism. Ask questions that show you care and demonstrate that you’re paying attention, such as “How are you feeling?” or “What do you need right now?” You don’t have to have all the answers; just being present and offering an understanding ear can make all the difference.

Recommend More Specialised Help if Needed

You may want to suggest or support your friend in seeking professional help if they need it. This could include group meetings, individual counselling sessions or even visiting a Drug Addiction Recovery Information Center. Let them know you are there for them and that you believe in their recovery journey.

Offer Non-Alcoholic Activities & Support Groups

If your friend is struggling with addiction, it’s important to find ways for them to fill their time with activities that don’t involve alcohol or drugs. Suggest things like going for walks together, visiting parks or museums, playing board games, etc., so they can still enjoy themselves without any temptation from alcohol or drugs. Additionally, attending support groups with them could be helpful in providing encouragement throughout their journey towards sobriety. This could help them gain strength from others who are also facing similar struggles and create a sense of community for them during this difficult time.

Be Patient & Encouraging

Most importantly, remain patient and encouraging throughout your friend’s recovery process. Sobriety doesn’t happen overnight; it takes commitment, hard work, and dedication to maintain sobriety in the long run–so stay by your friend’s side throughout their entire journey no matter how long it takes! Lastly, make sure that they know that they are not alone during this difficult time – everyone needs a little extra love once in a while!

Supporting a friend through sobriety is no easy task – but it is certainly possible if done with patience and empathy! Showing up for them with an open ear, offering non-alcoholic activities and support groups, plus encouraging words can make all the difference in helping them stay sober! With enough help from loved ones, anyone can take control of their addiction and live a healthier life full of hope and promise!

Anita Ginsburg is a freelance writer.

Are You Slipping Into Seasonal Depression? Tips to Help By Obehi Iyobhebhe

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 1 Comment

(image: Sydney Sims: Unsplash).

It’s a day like every other day before, but you can’t find the motivation to follow your typical routine. On average, you’d jump out of bed, drink a hot cup of coffee, and catch up with morning shows and podcasts before hitting the gym or work. But you somehow don’t feel like doing anything today; this happens at a particular time of year.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is depression associated with seasonal changes, e.g., winter, fall (autumn), or summer. People tend to associate seasonal depression with “winter blues,” but it also appears in other seasons, and how to differentiate it from sadness is that SAD occurs in the same season every year for you.

Symptoms of seasonal depression

The symptoms of seasonal depression are divided into three categories:

General symptoms

● Loss of interest in activities you enjoy

● Sluggishness or hyperactivity

● Low moods that last all day, every day

● Insomnia or oversleeping

● Increased carbohydrate craving

● Loss of focus

● Low energy

● Suicidal ideation

Fall and winter SAD

Seasonal depression in the winter typically starts in the fall and lasts until after the winter, and these are the symptoms:

● Oversleeping

● Craving foods high in carbohydrates

● Weight gain

● Tiredness

Spring and summer SAD

Summer depression is more common during spring until summer, and the symptoms include:

● Weight loss

● Insomnia

● Anxiety

● Increased irritability

Are you slipping into seasonal depression?

As somebody who experiences seasonal depression in the winter, I can subjectively say there’s no ultimate method to cure or treat SAD, but there are tips to help you navigate it.

Tip #1: Identify the events that lead up to the seasonal depression

Are you in college and anxious about going home for winter break? Or you’re a mom about to spend her entire summer with extended family and it’s sapping your energy? It’s best to understand what happens when you experience seasonal depression so you understand the major problem and how to tackle it.

Tip #2: Don’t spend time alone

I understand how tempting it is to avoid people when you’re in a low mood, but spending time alone can make you brood over your intrusive thoughts, keeping you in a more depressed state. It’s best to invite your friends over if you don’t have the energy to see them and feel able to have them round. You don’t have to go too far out of the house or your comfort zone as long as you don’t spend too much time isolated.

Tip #3: Say NO to plans that make you feel uncomfortable

When you’re experiencing seasonal depression, you could be inclined to accept invitations just to escape the feeling of sadness, guilt and worthlessness. But you will only feel more drained by going to places you don’t want to be. Look after yourself.

Final tip

The ultimate hack that works for me during seasonal depression is being open about my suicidal ideation. Whether it’s second-hand suicidal or intrusive thoughts, I have a friend I can be vulnerable around, and I tell them everything that goes on in my mind during that period.

“What if they get tired of listening to me complain?”

It’s normal to feel guilty when you constantly complain to one person about your problems – you could feel like a burden and want to step back. But if that trusted friend or family member has never told you to stop talking or coming to them, you should keep going to them. And if that friend ever tells you that they are tired of hearing you complain, it doesn’t mean they hate you – your friends have probably internalised your problems too much and need a step back before continuing to be there for you.

In all, don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel when you experience seasonal depression, and remember, it will pass, so don’t make permanent decisions during that period.

I’m rooting for you and believe you’ll see better mental health days this year and beyond.

Author’s Bio

Obehi Iyobhebhe is a freelance writer in the business and psychology space. She’s passionate about helping people improve their life’s quality by paying attention to their mental health.

Obehi is also interested in helping entrepreneurs hit their business goals by creating blogs and email campaigns to generate leads.

You can find her here: https://ehinotes.medium.com/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/obehi-iyobhebhe/

Coming Home For The Mental Health Awareness Shabbat And Self Care by Eleanor

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 2 Comments

Happy new year everyone! Gosh its nearly the end of January and I havn’t written a blog for a while so thought I would share some things that have been happening here and talk a bit about mental health stuff too.

Firstly, my mental health is fairly stable at the moment, as has been the case for a number of years. I don’t get typical bipolar depressive or manic episodes on my medications and this year is my 9th year out of hospital , which is always a positive. However, I still suffer with anxiety and stress and get overwhelmed so have to pace myself! I have bad days too where things feel too much but thankfully they don’t escalate into a depression.

So for the positives- I have achieved some huge anxiety wins for me. Since November, I have been on the tube (first time in 3 years), I have gone up to the West End with Rob to the theatre using public transport, my panic attacks have been lessening, I have been able to see more people in person and I also passed my probation at work and have been made permanent (huge win!). I am someone who struggles with agarophobia when I feel more anxious and stressed and going out alone can still be a challenge.

I have been allowing myself to venture into previously anxiety provoking situations- for example, I get cabs alone home from work. I had to start doing this last year and it helped me get back into the world again. It wasn’t easy due to many fears I had but I have been able to do it, slowly. My job is also hybrid so I can work from home too- but getting back out into the world and having kind work colleagues at an office has been such a vital part of my recovery too. My therapist has been so helpful in dealing with the panic attacks and anxiety and I do still get triggered but at the moment on a lesser scale. I still find blood tests, hospitals and general health stuff scary because of what I have been through. I really recommend therapy.

I sometimes do have to cancel arrangements when things feel too much so am sorry to anyone I have had to postpone… its not easy and I hate doing it as I feel bad… but I am learning the balance of looking after me and socialising too. I don’t always get it right but I am trying.

Then, my friend in Bushey, Lee, texted me a few weeks back and asked if I would like to speak in my childhood community for the Jami (Jewish charity) Mental Health Awareness Shabbat. I hadn’t done public speaking about my story since before Covid in 2019, when I spoke with my Dad Mike at Limmud and at Chigwell shul (synagogue, my husbands community). I have had drama training so for me speaking publicly as someone else is OK, but when I have to stand up and share my own story, I get nervous as its so personal. The first time I was asked to speak in a shul at Belsize Square, I made it to the community but my Dad had to give the talk by himself as i was too panicked to attend the service. I managed in time to dip my toe in slowly, always with the support of my Dad and my therapist.

This talk in Bushey felt significant. It’s the Jewish community I grew up in and was a part of until I was 23. I felt like I was going home. The Bushey team told me they had two other speakers, but would I like to speak and share my story with bipolar disorder?

I thought to myself… I am ready, my panic attacks and social anxiety are more under control. To me being asked to come home to Bushey shul was a sign. My Grandpa Harry passed away in 2021 from Covid- and he and Grandma had lived in Bushey since the 1990s, when we were little. Our family lived in both Bushey and Bushey Heath and I studied at Immanuel College, across the road from our home and my grandparents. The area contains so many happy memories for me. I knew the new senior Rabbi and Rebbetzen, as he had officiated at my grandparents funerals and was so kind to our family. My Dad is also still a member of the shul and I still know a lot of people who live in the community too. Its a very special community and one I am proud to be from (and still feel.a small part of despite not being a local anymore).

So, I decided, with my Dad and Rob’s support on the day (and anxiety meds), that I could stand up in shul and speak with the other two speakers on the Shabbat (sabbath) morning. My Mum and step dad were supporting from afar and looking after our guineapigs.

The senior Rabbi and Rebbetzen hosted us for the Friday night which was wonderful as we got to meet lots of new couples and see the Ketts, the other Rabbi and Rebbetzen! For lunch after the service, we went to Lee’s house, which was very special as she was my batmitzvah teacher and is a good family friend.

I was initially told the talk was going to be in a break out room- but on the day it was decided that it would be from the pulpit. Last time I ventured to that pulpit and stood up there was when I was 12 years old, sharing my batmitzva portion of the Torah. The year my Dad was very ill and diagnosed with bipolar. I became ill just 3 years later.

Now, here I was back as a married woman of 34, revealing about the mental illness that had found its way into my family and caused a lot of devastation. However, the main reasons I wanted to stand up and talk about bipolar disorder are because I know that this illness runs in families, many Jewish families struggle with it. I wanted to give the message that you can live with this illness but you can have periods of remission, recovery, you can find hope.

And as I spoke to the audience of people – many of whom I had known since my childhood, who saw me grow up and saw my family eventually leave Bushey for Edgware, I felt humbled. I felt honoured to be asked to speak and I hoped that by sharing my own journey with bipolar (being diagnosed at 16, in hospital twice, the last time in 2014 for a very serious manic episode), that I could touch someone who needed to hear it. My Dad gave me permission to tell his story too.

When I grew up in. the early 2000s, talking about mental illness and particularly in Jewish spaces, was not the norm. I hope that through sharing my own journey and my Dads (he was undiagnosed for 9 years until he was 44), that I will have helped someone.

Most importantly, I felt I had come home. The kindness and warmth shown to me by the members of the Bushey community who I have known since I was a little girl was something so incredibly special and touching. People confided in me after the service about their own struggles. Others thanked me for sharing my story. I was hugely touched by the other two speakers who spoke after me about their own journeys with mental health and their children’s. I won’t name them here in case they want to be anonymous but I learnt so much from them and their experiences.

So I want to say a huge thank you to Lee, to the Rabbis and Rebbetzens and to everyone in Bushey who I have known for years and have loved- for hosting us, for inviting me to talk about something so personal in such a special community. It touched my heart. I really hope it helps.

I genuinely did not know how I stood up there to speak to 90 odd people- what kept me going is knowing I was doing this to help eradicate the stigma of mental illness but also I hope that the words I spoke gave comfort to anyone going through mental illness, that it does get better. It can improve. You won’t be ill forever.

When I was unwell in 2014, Jonny Benjamin MBE was speaking and sharing about mental illness. He taught me that sharing your story to help others is vital. So thanks Jonny for all your support too (whether you knew you gave me the courage or not :).

I also want to thank Jami charity, Laura Bahar and Rabbi Daniel Epstein. I was part of the volunteering team that helped set up the first mental health awareness shabbat. The project has blossomed and is now annual and it is truly wonderful to see.

What I want to clarify is that although I am currently a lot better with my anxiety, it is very much a grey area, day by day thing. That can be hard for people to understand- how one day you can be great with loads of energy and the next you have to stay home and recuperate- self care. But I think knowledge of mental health is increasing now, so do check in with your friends and family and offer a safe space without judgement- its so helpful.

Thank you again for reading this if you got this far. You can do whatever you put your mind too- reach for help from medical teams, medication, therapists and never give up.

With gratitude and love,

Eleanor

x

How To Cope With Everyday Challenges For Those Living With ADHD.

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 7 Comments
(image: Unsplash)

Living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be challenging in everyday situations. From difficulties staying focused and organised to managing emotions, those living with ADHD face unique struggles that can make life more difficult. However, there are effective strategies for coping with these challenges and leading a successful life despite them.

In this article, we will discuss six tips for managing the everyday effects of ADHD. With the right tools and techniques, anyone can learn how to manage their symptoms and live a fulfilling life.

1. Establish a Routine

For those of you who are Living With ADHD, you probably already know the importance of establishing routines. Having a regular schedule and structure can help to keep your day running smoothly, allowing you to stay on task and be productive.

Start small by developing simple routines that are easy to remember and stick to, such as setting a specific time for meals or getting dressed in the morning. You may also want to create an evening routine so that you can relax and prepare for bed in the smoothest way possible. Whatever you need to do for that day, having a routine to follow can help you to get it done.

2. Break Tasks into Manageable Pieces

As you navigate life, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the daily challenges that come your way. Some may be big, and some may be small, but to cope with these tasks, it is important to break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces. This way, you can feel less disheartened and instead focus on achieving each small goal as opposed to focusing on one huge end goal. 

They can also make it easier to stay on track. For example, if you’re trying to complete a project that is due in two weeks, break down the task into achievable steps for each day. This way, you can stay motivated and make progress without feeling overwhelmed.

3. Utilize Technology

Technology is constantly evolving, and if you know how to take advantage, it can help make living with ADHD a little easier. For instance, there are plenty of helpful tracking apps out there that can be used to remind yourself of tasks that need to be done or alert you when something needs attention.

Additionally, using an alarm clock app can help keep your schedule on track. There are also applications that can help you manage your focus better, as well as those that provide helpful tips for how to cope with life’s challenges. Taking advantage of technology can be a great way to stay organised, on-task and motivated.

4. Use Visual Aids

While you may think that you are too old to use visual aids, they can be a huge help when it comes to dealing with everyday challenges. Visual reminders, such as Post-it notes on the refrigerator or calendar events written in bright colors, can help you remember important tasks and deadlines, reducing your anxiety levels.

Not only that, but they can also provide you with the opportunity to reward yourself for completing tasks, as you can check off items or post pictures that are reminders of what you’ve accomplished. 

5. Get Regular Exercise

Regardless of whether you have ADHD or not, regular exercise is important for mental and physical health. This is because it can help people to focus better, gain more energy, reduce stress levels, and improve overall well-being.

Finding the right type of exercise can help you manage your symptoms. Try activities such as running, swimming, walking, or even yoga to keep your body and mind active. Exercise can also help to boost dopamine, which is a chemical that regulates attention and concentration.

Finally, remember to set manageable goals for yourself when starting an exercise routine. This will help you stay motivated and on track with achieving your fitness goals!

6. Practice Mindfulness

You may be surprised at just how many people living with ADHD use mindfulness to cope with their daily challenges. Mindfulness helps you focus on the present moment, without worrying about what happened in the past or imagining a future outcome.

This can give you more control over your thoughts and actions, which can be particularly beneficial when it comes to controlling impulsive behavior. To practice mindfulness, take a few minutes every day to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. You can also practice mindful eating or walking.

By becoming more aware of the present moment and taking control over how you react to situations, it can help you manage symptoms of ADHD and lead to increased self-esteem, improved concentration, better relationships with friends and family, as well as reduced stress and anxiety.

Final Thoughts

Living with ADHD can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. By taking the time to understand your own unique needs and creating strategies that work for you, you can manage everyday tasks and build self-confidence in yourself. It is important to remember that living with ADHD does not define you as an individual; instead, use it as an opportunity to discover new ways of doing things or approaching challenges in life.

With patience and practice, anything is possible! So don’t give up – take small steps each day towards conquering whatever comes your way.

This article was written by a freelance writer,.

How To Avoid January Anxiety And Burn Out By Dr Catherine Carney at Delamere

~ Eleanor Segall ~ Leave a comment
(image: Unsplash)

As soon as the 1st of January hits, every advertisement seems to switch from encouraging total indulgence, to tips and tricks on how to ‘better’ yourself both mentally and physically. Such a drastic change in narrative can cause your New Year to begin in a stressful, pressurised manner, and can even lead to burnout. 

With this in mind, Dr Catherine Carney of private rehabilitation centre, Delamere, has offered some tips and tricks to combat the anxiety that January can bring. As well as this, she will also outline the most common causes of New Year burnout, making it easier for you to avoid them. 

  1. Setting unrealistic goals 

While there is nothing wrong with being ambitious, pushing yourself too hard is destined to lead to disappointment and a feeling of failure. Rather than comparing yourself to people on social media platforms, it is always better to write a short list of smaller, more obtainable goals. 

Once you have achieved these, you can start to work on more difficult ones. This may be easier said than done due to toxic hustle culture being everywhere, but it is important to remember that everybody progresses at a different pace. If you attempt too much in one go for example, telling yourself you will go to the gym every day or read 10 books a month, you could mentally and physically crash and burn. 

  1. Comparing your progress to someone else’s 

As stated previously, different people achieve things in their own time, which is crucial to remember around New Year. If somebody you know has started running 10k a day and you are struggling to get past 5k, then try not to punish yourself – or worse, exert yourself too much and cause an injury. 

Your body and your mind can only do so much in a certain period, so it is always important to remember to rest and recharge. Not allowing yourself to do this can lead to you wanting to isolate yourself from others, due to feeling like a failure, as well as making you feel exhausted and worn out. Taking small, realistic steps is key when it comes to forming a new habit.

  1. Forgetting to plan your time

Many people find themselves struggling with day-to-day life in general, so adding a new task or activity can cause them to be completely thrown off. Telling yourself you will go for a run, read a book, or do some writing, but not planning a specific time, could lead to you becoming stressed and irritated – especially if you do not end up doing the task. 

Juggling work, sleep, a social life, eating healthily, and leisure activities can be very difficult, so it is handy to write tasks and goals down. Setting a specific time would allow you to get things done prior to the new activity you are trying to stick to, as well as allowing you to fill your time efficiently and with things you enjoy. 

  1. Neglecting rest, relaxation, and meditation

Sitting down and allowing your body and mind to recharge is possibly the most effective way of avoiding burnout. It can be very easy to forget about this, especially with hustle culture making people feel guilty for not being productive. However, mentally recharging will allow you to feel more energised when it comes to tackling your New Year’s Resolutions. 

Meditation and general wellness has been proven to lessen feelings of anxiety and depression, allowing you to clear your mind after a challenging day and re-centre your energy. While wellness is not the right path for everybody, it could be worthwhile to give it a try, especially if your resolutions have left you feeling sluggish. 

  1. Forgetting to see friends and family 

Many people experiencing depressive feelings will feel compelled to socially isolate themselves. This can be for a number of reasons, ranging from feeling too emotionally exhausted to leave the house, to not wanting people to know how they are feeling. However, as depressive thoughts go hand-in-hand with burnout, it is crucial to maintain contact with friends and family – especially around the New Year. 

If you have not achieved something you told people you would, or are generally feeling like you are underachieving, socially withdrawing may feel like a comforting thing to do. Sharing your thoughts and worries with a loved one will allow them to offer words of encouragement and support, as well as a potential solution to your issue. For example, if your goal is to go to the gym more often, your friend could offer to go with you. 

Content from Dr Catherine Carney at: https://delamere.com/addiction-treatment/work-burnout

How To Navigate A Divorce And Preserve Your Mental Wellbeing by Dixie Somers

~ Eleanor Segall ~ 4 Comments

(image: Adobe Stock)

Divorce can be a difficult and emotionally draining experience. It can be especially challenging to maintain mental health while dealing with the stress of ending a marriage. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to help preserve your mental health during this difficult time. Let’s explore some effective ways to cope and keep yourself healthy during your divorce.

Find Supportive People To Talk To

It’s important to have people in your life who understand what you’re going through, who will listen without judgement, and who will offer advice when asked. These people could include family, friends, a therapist, a reliable divorce attorney, or even an online support group for divorcees. Reaching out to supportive people is a great way to process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions as it relates to the divorce. Even if these people don’t necessarily give you advice on how to handle the situation, just being able to vent and talk things through can make all the difference in terms of keeping your mental health in check.

Practice Self-Care & Self-Compassion

Divorce is often accompanied by feelings of guilt or shame that can take their toll on mental health if not addressed properly. To combat these negative emotions, it’s important to practise self-care and self-compassion. This means taking care of yourself by getting enough rest, eating healthy meals regularly, exercising regularly (which releases endorphins that help you feel better), spending quality time with friends and family who are supportive of you—anything that helps bring joy into your life!

Additionally, try reminding yourself that it takes two people for a relationship to work and that only one person should not be blamed for its failure. It is also ok to feel sad; it’s natural when going through such difficult times so allow yourself some moments of sadness but don’t forget the importance of self-care.

Allow Yourself Time To Heal

Give yourself permission to heal in whatever way works best for you without feeling guilty about it. Everyone processes events differently so try not rush into any new relationships or commitments until you feel ready; instead focus on healing first as this will allow you to create healthier connections moving forward. Furthermore recognise that this is an opportunity for personal growth; although painful at times growth requires challenge which is exactly what divorce provides! Allowing yourself time for healing enables the chance for true transformation which may lead you down paths unknown before now.

Don’t Rush It

An important part of navigating a divorce is not rushing into a new relationship until you are truly ready. Taking the time to heal and focus on yourself can help ensure that any future relationships will be healthier and more fulfilling. It’s natural to feel lonely after ending a marriage but it’s important to remember that entering a new relationship too soon can potentially do more harm than good. Allow yourself time to process the emotions and experiences of your marriage while also allowing yourself to heal before embarking on a new relationship.

This will help make sure that any future connections are healthier and happier for everyone involved. Ultimately, taking the time to focus on yourself during this difficult period can lead to more meaningful connections in the future.

Divorce can be an incredibly difficult experience but maintaining good mental health throughout this transition is vital. By finding supportive people to talk with, practising self-care and self-compassion, and allowing yourself time to heal—you can get through it while still preserving your mental wellbeing along the way.

Don’t forget—divorce isn’t easy but with proper support it doesn’t have to be devastating either! With small steps each day towards healing you’ll soon find yourself back on track towards living fully again!

Dixie Somers is a freelance writer