Guest post by Joshua: Tips and Advice on getting through Bipolar

Trigger warning: discussion of suicidal thoughts.

For more from Joshua please email: rebuildrepaircredit@gmail.com

Hello! My name is Joshua, I am one of seven.  1 in 7 people have bipolar disorder. I have noticed that mental disorders are often overlooked or misunderstood. So here I am, stepping up to talk about it in the open.

I would not be here today to write this if had I not gone through my bipolar epiisodes and become stronger. I will not lie and say I have conquered it fully, but I am able to tame the beast . So, I hope I can help you. Are you struggling with any mental disorder? I love you and know you can fight it. It will not be easy, but you can do it.

The devastating effects of bipolar depression aka the main problem

First, a topic frequently avoided is suicidal thoughts.

Have you ever felt suicidal? I sure have.  I wanted to die so badly at such a young age. I broke down crying on the floor after I almost attempted to. Welcome to severe bipolar depression. A very difficult thing to cope with.


Do you still feel suicidal?

Honestly, I think everyone has these feelings. But bipolar and depressed people feel them seep into their hearts and minds much stronger. Suicidal thoughts are a nasty beast, attacking people at their weakest. Mental illness can break even the strongest people- if you are going through it right now, you are so strong!

 

Do you still feel this way today?

So to answer your question honestly, I do still have thoughts sometimes. Will I ever end my life ? No! I will promise you all that today. Promise me today that you will never do it as well. Stay with us, hang in there, please.  You must fight with everything, to live. You are a wonderful person and you deserve to live as long as possible! So am I! Fight with me!

 

One in seven? That is a lot of people! Do I know any people with bipolar disorder?

Chances are very high that you know someone dealing with bipolar. Lots of famous people are affected today and also in the past.

‘Never, never, never give up’. – Winston Churchill. I have a poster that I like with a frog being eaten by a pelican. Except the frog is choking out the pelican and not allowing himself to be eaten! Be the frog. So, never ever give up. To succeed in life this is demanded.
My favourite quote is ‘If you’re going through hell, keep going.’ – Winston Churchill

Fight on and continue!

 

When did you realize you had bipolar disorder?

First, from an early age, I realised I was different. Not in a bad way, but unique. I would say around 7-9 years old, I was already in counselling.  7-9 years old was one of my worst times for sure and I started experiencing bad symptoms aged 13. Mental disorders often begin in puberty due to hormonal changes. Hormones plus bipolar do not mix well. Controlling emotion is a big part of conquering bipolar.


Do you take medicines now? They work well for some. Do they help you?

I have tried many different medications. My team tried their best to see what would work with my body chemistry. Yet, there was a big problem. Every single medication had terrible side effects. The killer for me was the massive migraines.

During high school, trying to function felt downright impossible! I was so depressed I could not get up in the morning.  The medications I tried were challenging for me and didn’t always agree with my body.

 

Tell me a little more about you. What makes up the mind of a person with bipolar disorder?

I am far from perfect, but on a great path. So I am not here to brag. Everyone is intelligent in their own ways. I have always been intelligent as well. So my point is that you should do your best to not let this hold you back. It does not have to be a disadvantage. Also, many people with bipolar are highly intelligent.

I have always loved people. So I always try to see the best in them.  I am a triple full-time dad and entrepreneur.  I have started multiple successful businesses. Currently, I run websites. RebuildRepairCredit.com is a free credit repair clinic I started. Every single day I better myself. Now I try to better the world around me every day as well. You too can do the same. Improving yourself is the best investment you can make.

 

What else is difficult when you have bipolar disorder?

There are manic times. More recently I have learned to harness these gifts. However, if you are not careful these gifts, they can be challenging.. They were most of my life. Manic episodes can leave you awake for days or weeks and longer! Have you ever been awake that long? Sleep deprivation is torture. Be kind to these people! As I said before I have been awake nearly a month straight with 5-minute naps. This was a manic episode worsened by the wrong medication. Antidepressant only without mood-stabilisers can do this! Finally, in manic periods someone with bipolar may do things they would not normally do.

Final tips and advice on getting through bipolar

First, be sure to seek professional help when needed.  These can be lifesavers. Sometimes a professional ear can break down an issue and make it easier to deal with. Keep your chin up! So you will break, you will fall. This does not mean you have failed! Also, you are stronger than your weakest moment. So recover, stronger each time. Fight back!

To conclude, if you or  someone you know  has bipolar disorder,  be kind.  Nobody really knows the struggles another is facing. You may feel broken. Know you are loved and can overcome this. It will take time and lots of effort, but it is worth it. Finally, know you can still lead a full and productive life. Fight past your disabilities whatever they are. Because you are more powerful than your minor shortcomings.

 

A blog for Bipolar UK- ‘What bipolar means to me’

I am excited to share with you all my first blog for the charity Bipolar UK. Bipolar UK assist those with bipolar disorder and their families, as well as raising awareness.

In this very personal blog, I share what it is like when suffering with a depressive and anxious episode. I hope you enjoy reading it and it helps you feel a little less alone!

The other day I was sitting in my room feeling contemplative and I found one of my journal notebooks from 2011. I’ve been journalling on and off since I was young and have documented a lot of my life as it’s so therapeutic.

In 2004 I was diagnosed with bipolar at the age of just 16. I’m now 28 and have spent the past 12 years managing my illness through medication, therapy and a good support network….’

Click here to read the full article:

https://www.bipolaruk.org/blog/what-having-bipolar-means-for-me

National Stress Awareness Day- ISMA

Here at Be Ur Own Light, we promote good health and wellness. We were delighted to learn about a stress management initiative – National Stress Awareness Day – that has been in existence for almost 20 years in the UK.  The founder is Carole Spiers, Motivational Speaker and CEO of the Carole Spiers Group (CSG), a stress management consultant who is also Chair of the International Stress Management Association (ISMAUK).

ISMAUK is a charity and was established in 1974.  They are a membership organisation and set professional standards dedicated to excellence and best practice.  Their mission is to promote stress prevention and wellbeing.

This year, for National Stress Awareness day, they focused on stress for employees in the workplace.

As Spiers writes, ‘It is vital that the stigma of stress is removed and that stress is accepted as a mental health issue both nationally and internationally. Employees are an organisation’s most valuable resource.  It is very difficult to replace this human asset which is why ‘workforce wellness’ is an organisational imperative’. (ISMAUK)

National Stress Awareness Day – Wednesday 2nd November 2016

This year, National Stress Awareness Day took place on 2nd November and its theme for this year was ‘Workforce Wellness – your Prime Investment’.

Founded in 1998, the day runs annually on the first Wednesday of November and its aim is to educate people on the recognition of stress in self and others together with providing solutions and strategies.

Activities take place throughout the country that provide training, advice and consultancy. Last year, the day was talked about widely with over 121,000 comments alone discussing it on Twitter!

Through ISMA’s global reach, Stress Awareness Day is also run throughout the world.

Spiers continues, ‘The Carole Spiers Group proactively educate employees on how to build a healthy workplace culture. Through our nationwide employee counselling service and range of resilience and organisational change training programmes, our aim is to provide solutions and strategies to help people manage stress – both at home and at work.’

So how can you get involved with next years National Stress Awareness Day?
If you are already an ISMA member, you can organise an ISMA workshop for your employees and colleagues, deliver presentations on the subject and talk to the press and on social media to further raise awareness. A reduced rate pack is on the ISMA website to help you get started! http://bit.ly/1RyIZKL

This packs contains powerpoint slides, workbooks and media guidance to help you get the most out of your Stress Awareness Day.
For more information on ISMA and Stress Management Day on  2nd November each year, email info@carolespiersgroup.co.uk  and tweet about it using the handle #nationalstressawarenessday

My Guest Blog at PhobiaSupportForum.com

Be Ur Own Light is proud to collaborate with Mark at http://www.phobiasupportforum.com. Phobia Support Forum, support people suffering from a wide variety of mental health conditions and specific phobias. They have a forum where sufferers can talk and ask questions and form friendships.

My guest blog for them is about my anxiety and working with a care coordinator. You can read it here:

http://phobiasupportforum.com/expert-guest-articles/an-amazing-care-coordinator/

We are truly so happy to be a part of Phobia Support Forum and look forward to working together in the future. I hope all you lovely readers enjoy my blog!

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(image: google/ quotesgram)

Dark nights and Brighter Days: Music and Writing

It feels like ages since I just sat down and wrote my heart out about my own life, which is how Be Ur Own Light started. In fact this blog was a diary and once called Diary of a Nearly Thirty Year Old (as I am 28!) The level of interest in mental health writing and my blog is growing which is wonderful and I love sharing everyone’s stories and featuring guest posts from brave mental health warriors. Today though I want to update you on my story.

Thank fully, I am not depressed or too anxious these days. I have been able to go out more, see friends and family and just enjoy myself. This week my Dad and I ran two charity events at Jazz after Dark, a teeny little club in Soho, Central London. Jazz after Dark is where Amy Winehouse walked in and began her career and where she wrote part of Back to Black. Our charity events used live music, amps, phone stages and hifi systems like Graham Slee Hifi. 

Our event was in aid of a young girl who passed away this year aged just 20. Many professional singers and musicians gave their time for free for us to raise money for an ambulance , which was the dying wish of the girl who passed away.

We managed to raise £3,500 for the charity supplying the ambulance through ticket sales, a raffle and auction. My Dad put so much of it together and on the nights we worked so hard. It was a thoroughly enjoyable 2 nights and I had the chance to watch live music and meet acquaintances and see old friends. I was so thankful to feel comfortable doing this and for feeling so happy at what we all achieved.

Additionally, my cousin got engaged last weekend which was lovely, we had a family party for him.

I am also contemplating a new career in writing professionally. I have always written, journalled, wrote poetry and did English at university.. I always have used writing as an outlet. However, I want to share my story in overcoming adversity and living with mental health issues. I have been so lucky to already have collaborated with people and 2 big mental health charities. So this journey is new and exciting and rewarding. I thank you for reading here in my little corner of the internet and for following the journey together.

The Counsellors Cafe Blog Collaboration: Social Anxiety- I will get There

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(image:google images)

Hi everyone,

I am delighted to announce a collaboration with the wonderful people (Dionne and Victoria) at The Counsellors Cafe. Counsellors cafe is a community for people to share articles and knowledge about their mental health, and links therapists and sufferers.

I have written a blog for them on living with social anxiety which was published yesterday!

I wrote this piece  on social anxiety so I can write with my heart without feeling ashamed and can share what it is like to live with mental ill health at times. This is something that has been a part of my life since I was 15 years old and I will be 28 this year. It doesn’t feel like 13 years have passed since I first got sick, but its true that time definitely passes quickly. ‘

 You can read it here and at their website:  http://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/single-post/2016/11/01/I-Will-Get-There

For more see: http://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/

#beurownlight

‘How I deal with Anxiety and Depression’ – Guest post by Ashley Owens at Generally Anxious

This guest post was written by blogger Ashley Owens at Generally Anxious http://www.generallyanxious.com
You can find her on Twitter at @genanxious. Ashley is also an author of a mental health novel.
Here, Ashley talks about her experience of anxiety and depression and how she deals with it. We thank her for contributing such an enlightening post!
I have dealt with anxiety & depression for over 30 years. It’s been an exhausting and sometimes sloppy ride. The most important thing I’ve learned is to cope. In my case, if I attempt to ignore (yeah right) or fight anxiety & depression, it gets worse. Instead, I am learning to live with them.

Check in with yourself daily.  Life can move pretty quickly.  Every day, I take the time to recognize how I’m feeling, and make adjustments as needed.  EVERY DAY. As a diabetic takes their blood sugar and adjusts their insulin amount accordingly, if I am tired, nervous or sad, I make sure to take it easy on myself. Take baby steps, one step at a time through the day, and be honest about how much I can accomplish, without over extending myself. I am not a superhero, and no one expects me to be (except my dogs).
Treat your body well.  ‘Comfort food’ got it’s name for a reason.  However, if I don’t moderate the amount of junk food, alcohol, late nights, or sloth-like behaviour, I end up feeling worse, triggering anxiety & depression.  I try to get a good night’s sleep, take my vitamins, eat vegetables and be active every day, as best I can.  Full disclosure: cheesecake is my favorite food, so I certainly love eating things that aren’t necessarily good for me.  And I allow myself to, in moderation. 
 
Do not trivialise your hobbies. I love listening to music, exercising, reading books, snuggling with my pups. These are some of the things that make me happy, so it is worth the time to enjoy them. Contributing to your happiness enables you to deal with real life: chores, school, work, conflict. More importantly, happiness makes us a better friend, co-worker, daughter/son, spouse, person.
Am I a master at all of this?  Not. Even. Close.
Make a small checklist.  As a daily reminder, write down a short list of questions that will indicate if you are taking proper care of yourself.  For example:
  • Am I getting at least 6 hours of sleep every night (and preferably 8 hours)?
  • Did I hug my pet/family member/ best friend today?
  • Have I exercised in the last 3 days?
  • Did I dance around to music at full blast this week?!
You can use this short list as a barometer – If you answer ‘no’ to any of your questions, you need to make a change to keep yourself on track, healthy and happy.
I walk with anxiety & depression everyday, one step at a time, being honest with myself that I’m not perfect. Well guess what? Nobody is! You are not alone in your struggles, so be honest with how you feel, and keep moving forward!

Breathe Life Initiative- Tackling Loneliness through Kindness

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Here at Be Ur Own Light, we support many charitable initiatives. We were contacted by ‘Breathe Life’, an amazing UK charity campaign to combat loneliness in the elderly and wanted to tell you about them so you can get involved wherever you are in the world!.

The campaign says,

‘Every day huge numbers of older people are dying from loneliness. Research has proven that the effects are as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In the UK alone, one fifth of older people feel lonely. …. We believe small acts of kindness can help loneliness‘ (Breathe Life)

This is sadly not just an issue in the elderly as 53% of those aged 18-34 have felt depressed due to loneliness. As more and more people live on their own, this affects millions of people in UK society alone.

Its time to reconnect with our elders and Breathe Life seeks to do this. Never before have we lived such separated lives from our loved ones, only connected by technology.

To combat loneliness in our society, Breathe Life partnered with Life Links Cheshire have selected 5 Elders- men and women from Cheshire in the North of England with a wealth of widsom, joy and resilience to share to people of all ages. You can email them for 30 days, important questions you want answered and they can share their knowledge with you (and in turn make connections to combat isolation and loneliness).  As the campaign states,

Together, we hope to give older people regular mental stimulation and a visceral sense of self worth by actively creating connections for them in which they feel they are offering something of value to society. We might restore a sense of pride that breaks the deadening effects of loneliness.’

For more information about the Elders, the Breathe life Campaign and how you can get involved:

breathelife

 

Gratitude to you: with thanks

Recently I have been having the opportunity to grow my little blog here and it is amazingly being read around the world. From the UK to Israel, The USA and Canada to Australia, Italy, Germany, Spain,  Norway, Finland, Croatia, Monaco, Indonesia, India, Peru, China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Philippines, South Africa, Uruguay, Nigeria and Sudan.. I am amazed each day by where people are reading from and I am so so thankful. I write this not to brag but just because its so wonderful for me to reach people from different cultures. 🙂

We now have almost 60 dedicated WordPress followers, over 1,000 followers on Twitter, almost 700 in Instagram and 130 of my close friends and family on Facebook. This week, inspirational acid attack survivor Katie Piper liked one of our posts on Instagram about positive affirmation which was incredibly exciting!

We hope to grow the blog to spread light around the world for those suffering with mental health issues. I love receiving your supportive comments and sharing in online conversations with you all.

Today I am feeling so happy and thank you for engaging. I am also excited to announce a blog collaboration with Counsellors Cafe UK website, which will hopefully be posted in the next few weeks  and  Jewish Association of Mental Illness, who may be using my blog posts in the new year.

I am also thankful to Louie Rethink Mental Illness and Tim at Time to Change for getting me published before I even started publicising my blog.

From Depression to Light: Life Lessons

For those who are new readers or don’t really know, I have been journalling for a long time- maybe since the age of 14 on and off. I have always sought to write and get my feelings down on paper. I was looking through some boxes the other day and came across the following ‘Future letter to myself’ from September 2010. I was 22 and reflecting on life and the journey I had been on from being diagnosed bipolar at 16, to falling in love and having my heart broken and travelling around the world. I had also been struggling with anxiety for a long time.

This ‘I have learnt’ list was partly inspired by the introduction to singer India Aries album ‘Love and Relationships’. The words are my own. I hope if you are feeling sad or if you are contemplating things in your own life that these words give you strength.

A letter to my future self, I have learnt (From 2010)

‘Dear future me

I sit here as a woman who has survived trauma and illness, travelled to 3 continents and got a university degree. I sit here as a woman who has survived a severely broken heart.

I have learnt that love is not enough.

I have learnt that just because everyone else does something doesn’t mean I have to.

I have learnt that I have inner reserves of strength.

I have learnt that a supportive family or network is everything.

I have learnt that loneliness is painful- but is part of life experience.

I have learnt that life is joy and pain and mundanity.

I have learnt that some people are meant to leave your life physically but leave an impression on your heart.

I have learnt that facing life takes a lot of courage.

I have learnt that we need the love of others. A person is not a person without other people.

I have learnt to assess character.

I have learnt not to fall too easily.

I have learnt that having a shattered heart or mind is painful but not the end.

I have learnt that the mind is incredibly powerful and we have to learn to master it.

I have learnt that food is good.

I have learnt that fears are blessings because by pushing through them we grow.

I have learnt about the power of the soul.

Be strong. Believe even at your saddest moments.