Please watch with care.
It was an honour to record this alongside Bipolar UK CEO Simon Kitchen and expert police officer Ashley Brice, who helps people who are suicidal.
On average, 1 person a day every day with bipolar dies by suicide.
If you watch this, I hope you find it informative and helpful.
Eleanor x
(image: Kelly Sikkema: Unsplash)
In 2021, I was hospitalised for the second time in my life, due to an acute psychotic episode as a result of my then-recent diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder (Type One). Hospitalisation is one of the scariest, most unsettling periods of time but – a sometimes – necessary stage to recovery. I was so deep within my psychosis for the first week of my admission that I was quite oblivious to my surroundings and the people I was sharing the space with.
However, when my psychosis started to subside and I began to return to my true self, more free from delusions and mania, I was struck with a strong feeling of not belonging. I felt truly and utterly lost.
My ward was made up of around fifteen other women, with varying diagnosis, in differing mental states and from different walks of life. Yet, somehow I still felt like an outsider.
At first I was trying to think why. Was it because I was a Northerner in a Southern hospital? Was it because I was one of few that was the same ethnicity as myself? Was it that I was younger than most? There were so many factors that could have been the result of me feeling at a loss and not finding belonging.
Ultimately, no one wants to feel like they belong inside a psychiatric hospital. However, I believe there is merit in feeling like you have a place and in finding a sense of belonging helped me to have grounding and a base that wasn’t initially there.
Here are a few factors, of which helped me to find belonging:
Finding this sense of belonging in a place where no one wants to belong ultimately gave me the grounding to go forward and look forward to a brighter future.
Katie is a freelance writer who lives with bipolar disorder in recovery and has courageously shared her experiences of being hospitalised here.
(image: E Mandelstam)
(image: Me aged 16/17 in Spain with friends)
She sits nervously clutching her GHD straightened hair. Its meant to look poker straight but her curly waves never seem to look like Avril Lavigne’s hair. Except for that time when her friend tried to tame it for her with straighteners and an iron!
She lives in a bedroom in the family home- half child, half adult, the wallpaper pink with pictures of little bo peep covered with music posters- Destiny’s Child (Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle in their Survivor jungle outfits peer down) and Joss Stone with her nose piercing. She looks up to these women and wishes she could be them, especially Joss, who is only a year or so older than she is. Mariah Carey is another huge influence and she listens to her Daydream and Greatest hits albums on repeat on her CD player, trying to sing like Mariah but failing to hit those notes.
At school, she loves Drama- she loves to perform as different characters and study theatre. She has a wonderful group of friends who she will remain friends with today. She dreams of going to drama school.. and she will achieve her goal!
She is me, aged 16 years old in 2004.
She is ‘baby Ellie’- the teenager who had no idea what was in store for her life or to come. Who should have been free to party, make mistakes, not worry about life. Who should have been discovering life safely but enjoying teen life.
She was given the diagnosis of a severe mental illness, bipolar disorder, when she was still a child.
She struggled with depression, mania and psychosis from the age of 15.
She has been medicated for 19 years (and had changes of medication).
She has been in therapy for longer.
but she survived and thrived.
And she still loves theatre and music and friends (although the GHD’s have been relegated to the back of the cupboard!)
So dear Baby Ellie,
Whatever happens – everything is going to be OK and you will achieve things beyond your imagination- except being able to sing like Mariah Carey.
When I look back at her, I hear the lyrics of the song ‘Looking in’ on Mariah’s day dream album that I used to play….
(image by me, lyrics by Mariah).
But I am proud of her.
Love,
35 Year old Me.
x
(image: Jessica Kingsley Publishers and Cara Lisette)
I have followed the work of friend Cara Lisette for quite some time. Cara is not only a fellow mental health blogger, author (of the Eating Disorder Recovery Journal and Recovery Journal series) and advocate, but she lives with bipolar disorder and an eating disorder in remission. Cara is also a trained CBT Therapist and uses techniques that have worked for her and many others, to help people.
She created the Bipolar Disorder Journal: Creative Activities to Keep Yourself Well (with Jessica Kingsley Publishers) using evidence based techniques such as CBT and mindfulness with journalling prompts, creative activities, colouring pages and motivational quote pages to help you stay well and keep on track. It is designed to help those with bipolar disorder to understand and manage our condition, from someone with lived experience, who has learnt how to manage her condition.
Cara and the publisher say, ‘The techniques in this journal support those with bipolar in recognising and coping with episodes of depression, mania, and psychosis, understanding their triggers, and finding ways of seeking support. This journal is intended for those who want to learn more about themselves and live a full and happy life.’
Cara and Jessica Kingsley Publishers have very kindly gifted me a journal of my very own to use, thank you! It looks amazing and I will be using it and reviewing it very soon!
If you would like to get a copy of this amazing creative journal click here. and it can be found in all good bookshops.
Note: This is not a paid ad, I was gifted a journal and wanted to share about it as I believe in Cara’s mission to help others with bipolar disorder.
(image: World Bipolar Day)
Today is World Bipolar Day and for those of us living with bipolar disorder we know that living with it every day, year round is more accurate. However today is our day to talk about life with mental illness and to try and eradicate the stigma around the illness… ‘crazy lady’ ‘nuts’ ‘drama queen’.
World Bipolar Day is designed to raise awareness worldwide of bipolar conditions and to work to eliminate social stigma whilst providing information to educate and help people understand the condition.
Even though I live in remission/recovery with the illness, I am medicated daily to be this way, and I have undergone years of therapy and learnt coping methods too, with support from family.
Well, before I found medication that stabilises my bipolar highs and lows, life looked very different.
There were times I couldn’t work. I was so depressed I lay in bed in all day, only getting up to eat. I was scared to have a shower and wash my hair.
Life looked bleak. All I wanted was my duvet and oblivion. I had intrusive thoughts about ending my life, I was in a lot of emotional pain and this would last for weeks, sometimes months on end.
Bipolar isn’t just a bit high or a bit low…. its depression and mania, suicidal ideation and psychosis, self harm thoughts, hypersexuality, hyper activity, believing delusions that aren’t real…..SO much. Its episodic but it can ruin your life. Some turn to drugs, alcohol, sex to cope. Some hear voices too.
I have been in hospital twice for fairly long stays. I have been sectioned under the mental health act and held in a hospital unit against my will. I have been injected with sedatives to calm my mind and body when I couldn’t consent. I have met people in hospital who were suicidal, anxious, depressed, high on drugs, in psychosis. I lived on a ward where I heard people being restrained.
So, not much fun really. Luckily this month I am celebrating 9 years of remission out of hospital! I also came out of hospital as a nervous wreck and thankfully, therapy has helped.
(Image: speakingbipolar.com)
This blog is inspired by one of my followers who asked me what was my ‘Aha’ moment in recovery.
As well as finding the medicine Lithium, a salt that controls the mood fluctuations, the biggest thing I did for my own healing was go through therapy for my panic attacks and PTSD like symptoms. This was done with the support of my husband and family and because I has been on an NHS waiting list for 2 years, I needed help. My therapist and I have done EMDR trauma therapy which has helped me to process things.
In fact, I still do get anxiety attacks – just less. I have been in a very good place generally in the past year. Finding support at home, at work and from friends and family has been the most stabilising part.
I have had bipolar since I was 15, I am 34 and can tell you that this has not always been the case and my mental health has and will fluctuate.
I learnt recently that bipolar brains are neurodiverse, meaning our brain chemicals act differently to a neurotypical brain. Always good to understand the biology behind it too as this illness can be inherited and run in families- my Dad and I and other relatives have it.
On World Bipolar Day I hope:
-Employers adhere to the disability act and make reasonable adjustments to help those of us with bipolar to work in a better way for them, including hybrid working.
-People with mental illness aren’t fired because they can’t get to a physical workplace.
-Mental health services need better funding, so that people with bipolar can get a correct diagnosis sooner and get the help they need.
-People not in the Western world will get access to mental health medication and therapies that they desperately need.
Thank you for your ongoing support,
Eleanor
x
Read more about my journey with bipolar in my book Bring me to Light
On the 1st March 2016, I started this blog as a way to provide therapy for myself- as I was going through panic attacks, (caused by trauma). Can you believe that was 7 years ago?! I can’t! Since then I have had several years of therapy and my life changed so much too for the better- I met my husband, we got married and moved to our first home.
The blog has turned into a book Bring me to Light (with Trigger), writing for Metro.co.uk, Glamour, the Telegraph, Happiful, Rethink Mental Illness, Mind and other incredible organisations, I have partnered with large and small brands, charities, businesses, writers to create content that battles stigma on mental health. We have been awarded as a Top 10 UK blog by Vuelio since 2018 (thank you) and I love to share my story to help others and educate people about bipolar, anxiety, panic disorders, psychosis, mania and mental health in the workplace (amongst other mental health topics!). I have also recorded podcasts and have begun speaking in the community about bipolar with my Dad.
I cannot believe it has been 7 years since I opened up my computer to write- I was struggling. a lot. Writing has been such a therapy and a saviour to me.. and I hope this blog helps you too!
As always, I want to thank all my contributors and brands (sponsored or not), as well as the digital agencies and freelance writers who provide content too.
This year March 22- 23 we have featured (where it says my name, I wrote it!)
How to Stay Motivated When You’re Feeling Lost: Tracie Johnson
Change the Story Campaign- Eating Disorder Stereotypes- Hope Virgo
Performance of She Used To Be Mine (Sara Bareilles) by Nicolina Bozzo- Eleanor
5 Tips on How To Talk To Your Boss About Mental Health- freelance writer
Does Retail Therapy help your mental health?– freelance writer
9 Tips On Prioritising Your Mental Health while raising children- freelance writer
How to Keep a Good Mindset with Physical Therapy – Sierra Powell
Bipolar and Perinatal mental health- Eleanor
4 Types of Alcohol Addiction Services You can Turn To for Help- Rachelle Wilber
How to Transform Social Anxiety – Lewis McDonnell at Phobia Support Forum
What It’s Like To Go Through Severe Depression as a Bipolar Episode- Eleanor
What To Do When You Feel Alone- Eleanor
4 Reasons to Cook For Yourself- freelance writer
Learning to Embrace Schizoaffective Disorder -Mental Health Awareness Week- James Lindsay
Promoting wellbeing, good mental health and reducing stress in the elderly- freelance writer
Top 10 UK Mental Health Blog Award from Vuelio- Eleanor
Mental health, low self esteem, body image and fashion- freelance writer
What It Means To Have an NHS Perinatal Psychiatry Meeting- Eleanor
Unbroken- How Madeleine Black learnt to heal after sexual violence- Eleanor
What Tools Go Into Substance Abuse Treatment- Kara Masterson
Living with Anxiety- Promoting Mental Health and Success In the Workplace- Erin Hallett
How to know if you have an eating disorder and what to do next- Rachelle Wilber
How can I help an alcoholic or addict parent?- Chaye McIntosh
Boost Your Confidence- freelance writer
Taking Lithium for Bipolar Disorder- Side Effects – Eleanor
4 Effective Ways to Boost Your Mood- freelance writer
Knowing when its right to seek substance abuse treatment- Rachelle Wilber
Protecting mental health, a guide- The Mental Health Foundation
Letting go of hurtful memories to be happier- freelance writer
Group therapy and healing- Lizzie Weakley
Mental health medication and heatwave side effects- Eleanor
How to Create Healthy Daily habits- Sierra Powell
3 Journalling Techniques for Improved Mental Health- freelance writer
Looking after elderly parents- freelance writer
Thank you to a mental health nurse for sharing my book – Eleanor
Interview on Living with Bipolar with Best For You NHS- Eleanor
5 Tips for Communicating with Someone with Dementia- freelance writer
7 Tips to Help Your Personality Shine Through- freelance writer
Sleep Expert on how to stay cool on hot nights- freelance writer
Book Review of my book Bring me to Light by Deb Wilk- Eleanor
4 kinds of Therapy to consider- Rachelle Wilber
Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- Dr Joann Mundin
Are work places doing enough for mental health post-covid? – freelance writer
Mental Health at Work: First Aid products- writer
The Anxiety Train- a New Year- Eleanor
PTSD therapies and what is right for you- Kara Masterson
Managing mental health when you start college/university- freelance writer
Helping elderly relatives take care of themselves- freelance writer
How to Stay Emotionally Healthy during a Divorce- Lizzie Weakley
4 Ways EMDR Therapy can help you cope with Anxiety- Rachelle Wilber
Stuck in a Rut? Try These 4 Things- Dixie Somers
Non Traditional Therapeutic Activities to Try for Anxiety- Brooke Chaplan
Dealing with Dental Anxiety- Lizzie Weakley
Overcoming Seasonal Mood Changes- Brian Thomas
3 Years of my book Bring me to Light- Eleanor
5 Unbeatable ways to unwind- Dixie Somers
Speed Up Bipolar diagnosis to save lives- Bipolar UK- Eleanor
Losing a loved one- coping with anxiety- Hannah Walters
4 Ways to Treat an eating disorder- Lizzie Weakley
Bipolar UK commission announcement on government funding – Eleanor
How Living by the waterfront improves health- Rachelle Wilber
What football has taught me about life and mental health- Rose Atkinson-Carter
Anxiety and climbing, not carrying mountains- Eleanor
How Car accidents affect mental health- Stubbs Law Firm
How can EMDR therapy help you?- Brooke Chaplan
Tips for planning a sensory friendly wedding- Clay Reese
How to manage emotional eating- Lizzie Weakley
Methods for helping addiction recovery- Kara Masterson
How to tell if a loved one needs psychiatric help- Brooke Chaplan
What to do if you have an eating disorder- Brooke Chaplan
Navigating a divorce and preserving your mental wellbeing- Dixie Somers
January anxiety and burn out, how to avoid- Dr Catherine Carney at Delamere
How to cope with ADHD- freelance writer
My talk at the mental health awareness shabbat on bipolar- Eleanor
Tips to help seasonal depression- Obehi Iyobhebhe
How to help support your friends journey to sobriety- Anita Ginsburg
Why self care is so important- Brooke Chaplan
Coping with big life changes- Meghan Belnap
Befriending my brain, a new book on psychosis and recovery by James Lindsay- Eleanor
Thank you all for contributing and I am raising a glass to 7 years of this blog!!
Love and gratitude,
Eleanor x
(image: Sway Communications)
Simon Kitchen, CEO of UK mental health charity Bipolar UK, says:
“Today’s announcement by the Prime Minister that mental health will receive £40.2 million in funding is a positive step in the right direction for the one in four adults experiencing mental illness in the UK.
Although the Government funding announcement does not include bipolar specifically, we are hopeful that the high prevalence and the enormous burden of the condition will mean the bipolar research community receives much needed boost from this announcement.
The Bipolar Commission Report we took to policy makers on 8th November, found that bipolar accounts for 17% of the total burden of mental health but traditionally only received 1.5% of mental health research funding. This needs to change.
There are over a million people living with bipolar in the UK and every day one person with the condition takes their own life. Ensuring bipolar gets its fair share of mental health research funding is critical for reducing the 9.5 years it takes on average to get a diagnosis and for improving patient outcomes.
Bipolar UK is the collective voice for people living with bipolar. Our clear position is that it is vital those living with the condition have as many treatment options available to them as possible and receive greater continuity of care so they can have a better quality of life.
It is possible for everyone with bipolar to live well and fulfil their potential.
Strong long-term relationships between individual clinicians and patients is a critical factor in this and there are currently not enough specialists in bipolar in the UK which leads to symptoms often being missed.
People living with bipolar have a suicide risk that’s 20 times higher than people without bipolar, a figure that could be significantly reduced with adequate funding.
There are more than a million people with bipolar in the UK — 30% more than those with dementia and twice as many as those with schizophrenia. Millions more are impacted through close friends and family.
Re-allocation of the funding that is already available will provide a significant improvement to people’s lives which is why we are asking for bipolar to be seen as a standalone mental health condition that requires its own share of the overall funding allocated to mental health.
People can live well with bipolar, but only if they have access to a clinician who knows them, their symptoms, their triggers, medical history, their family situation and their living arrangements to ensure on-going, effective care.”
(image: Bipolar UK: Simon Kitchen, CEO with this pledge )
Dr Guy Goodwin, Emeritus Professor of Psychiatry, University of Oxford and co-chair of The Bipolar Commission adds: “I have been treating people with bipolar for more than 40 years. Over that time, I have frequently been astonished by the stories of patients who have been poorly served by services ostensibly designed to help them live better lives.
“Bipolar accounts for 17% of the total burden of disease attributable to mental illness and yet there is no priority given to its specialist treatment in policy documents produced by the Department of Health.
“Instead, since the 1999 National Service Framework, bipolar has been lumped into policy documents as the invisible twin of schizophrenia. Worse still, bipolar gets a mere 1.5% of research resources.
Ignorance of the price paid for this policy neglect is no longer a defence.”
Please go to bipolaruk.org/bipolarcommission to read more about the work of the commission, fighting to get fair funding for bipolar disorder- Bipolar Minds Matter.
(image: Bipolar UK charity)
Please sign this petition to the NHS to speed up bipolar diagnosis to save lives. As I write in my book, my Dad Mike was diagnosed 9 years after he got ill and just 4 years before me. I believe I was only diagnosed at 16 years old because my Dad received his diagnosis. Additionally, my Dad was pushed to the brink of suicidal ideation (thoughts and plans of suicide) but was able to control this once he saw a psychiatrist finally after nearly 10 years- so many can’t. My Dad was saved just in time. He often says the love for his family stopped him, but for some, they are even more ill and cannot focus on this.
A new campaign by the amazing Bipolar UK charity and the new government Bipolar Commission to tell the NHS:
Speed up bipolar diagnosis to save lives
· There’s an average delay of 9.5 years between people first contacting a health professional about symptoms and getting an accurate diagnosis of bipolar
· 60% of people said this delay had a significant impact on their life
· 84% of people said a diagnosis was ‘helpful’ or ‘very helpful’
A diagnosis makes it possible for someone to get effective treatment and support, and to live well with bipolar.
It’s estimated that at least 5% of people who take their own life have a diagnosis of bipolar. The shorter the delay in diagnosis, the sooner someone can empower themselves with effective self-management and foster a positive circle with fewer relapses in both the short and long-term.
In my own family, myself and other relatives here and abroad have been diagnosed with this condition. It is so important to get correct treatment.
Please sign here, thank you:
💜 Three years 💜
Three years ago my book ‘Bring me to Light: Embracing my Bipolar and Social Anxiety ‘was published by Trigger and Welbeck Publishing Group💜
I hope that by sharing my story (and my Dads too) that it helps you or someone you know going through mental illness. I hope that it shone a light on the dark, gritty parts of bipolar that many will never experience. And I hope that my book also shows the happy parts; recovery, that you can live and thrive again.
Bipolar is a complex and messy condition. It can ruin lives. There is no sugar coating. But you can be well too if you can find the right balance of medication and therapy…which is trial and error.
Thank you to every person who read it, reviewed it and got in touch to tell me their own journey.😍 Please continue to share and gift it to someone who needs it.
If you havnt read my story yet; the book is available in Amazon, Waterstones, WH Smith; Blackwells and is available in the USA and Europe.
Thank you to all of you who have supported me – it means the world.
Click here to get yours :
Sometimes, you receive amazing book reviews on the internet and don’t realise they are there!
Yesterday, I stumbled upon Deb Wilk’s blog Living Bipolar – Deb has lived with bipolar disorder for many years and very kindly reviewed my book last year. She lives in the USA and is a talented blogger, sharing about her life living with bipolar.
I don’t always know what to expect with reviews, but this was so positive so thank you Deb for reading, enjoying and recommending my book Bring me to Light: Embracing my Bipolar and Social Anxiety. Heres some quotes from the review:
“Every word, paragraph and chapter of Bring Me to Light was utterly mesmerizing. Eleanor Segall’s account of her battle with bipolar 1, panic attacks, and crippling social anxiety is so vibrant that the reader feels as though they are experiencing it right alongside her.
I would love to describe the book in detail, but I am not going to give anything away because this book is an absolute must-read. Anyone who is bipolar or loves someone who is, should read this story. It is a moving narrative that anyone, even those who do not suffer with mental illness, should read. …
She is now an extremely forceful voice in the mental health community, and this accolade is incredibly well deserved. Please read this book. You will find it well worthwhile and, I am certain, as enthralling as I did.” (Deb Wilk, living bipolar blog)
To read more of Debs review click here
Bring me to Light is available now on Amazon and in all good bookshops (including Waterstones, W H Smith and Blackwells and is available globally).
beurownlight.com 