It has been a while since I wrote an update about my life and mental health. Generally, I am doing OK and finding that I can cope with the anxiety, yet there are days when I wake up and feel overwhelmed and like I need peace and quiet.
I wrote this the other day,
‘Sometimes there are times when I will wake up and just feel so overwhelmed by the day that I cancel my plans and have to be quiet. Its like the internal me needs calm and peace and can’t get it without having space to breathe and to be.
I need breathing space from the world today and its madness in order to strengthen and restore me and build me back up. Peace and serenity and calm.’
This is quite an accurate description of how I feel sometimes. Its learning how to manage those feelings so it doesn’t ruin my morning/ whole day. Its about finding the positivity in the mundane, getting enough rest, eating well and trying my best to keep going.
Today I will be seeing my counsellor and catching up on the past few weeks. We have had a lot of Jewish festivals and spending time with friends, family, loved ones- so there has been a lot of socialising. At times, the festivals make me want to withdraw but there are also times when I feel stronger and happy and enjoy them also.
Yesterday my little step niece who is 3, came over with my step bro and his wife. It was so lovely to see her- she is adorable.
In terms of work, I am still looking at what is out there and working for my Dad in the mean time. My panic attacks have lessened so its just about finding a job thats right for me.
Lastly, Be Ur Own Light has a new Guest posts tab. Our first guest post is by Aryeh who has clinical depression and anxiety. Well done Aryeh for speaking out!